Ex Meghana (with Niccole Thurman)

growth back. That's how Sussex dress. My hips, your man's racists, money stuff, I can't tell me. Bang bang bang skeek skeek skee. Yep, there it is, there it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy peris and we finally work to prove that the B in Michael B. Jordan's stands for a boy b al, that Main has turned himself into the male equivalent of Sweetie's body, and the women are

treating him equally poorly. They have turned on that thick man, on that gorgeous boy bil. Do you think that he's way to sec you? Oh, I don't know if he's jusing, but he's doing something that that you think you went to the d R. I think regular guy don't make that, you know what I mean? I think he got snatched in a way that that I'll I'm willing to spread rumors about. You know, he got that boy bale. I don't think. I don't think it's natural. He was really

skinny in the wire. Yeah, and sure he was sixteen and and bodies change over time. Fuck that noise. That motherfucker's getting a boy bale. He's thick. Good for him, man, I'm all for it. I'm titties fat, I'm leg stint cartman, I'm David boy and boy oh boy. It's it's our first, at least, if I'm remembering correctly, our first full episode that we're recording for the new year. This is it. This is very exciting and what a what an excellent

way to start off this new year. I can't think of a finer and finer way for us to jump in to this motherfucker our guest today. She's she's hilarious, so talented. I first learned of her from the opposition with Jordan Clipper on Comedy Central, which was I personally loved the show. I thought it was fantastic, so funny, such a great ironic take on on conservatives. Is m

how you say that word? Oh yeah, there you go, the one that cos you know, the one, that word we all just read and never actually say out loud. That's yeah, that's what I tried. Uh well, she she She also now appears on on Jelly Stone on HBO Max and also tuning Out the News on Comedy Central. She's so funny, We're so happy to have her. Please give it up for our guests. Ms. Nicole Thurman, Hi, guys, I don't give a funk. Who say what? Blood? Okay crap? I warned you about the drops ahead of time. I

love it. I love it. I wasn't. I was wondering what my drop would be and that was not what I would expect. But I love it. I love to come from a place that others don't expect. Yeah, it's like never let them know your next move type of things exactly, but also make sure your next move is your best move. Who I like that. I've learned it from a guy outside. I'm gonna remember that, and I

hope you'll remember that drop. I hope it's when you carry through your life and maybe add to your resume of their like Nicole, tell us about yourself and you're like, I have a little something to play for you. I think I think Orlando Brown should say exactly what what is the key to about me? He says what we're all thinking. I think so it is. That's I can't all right enough shenanigans about robson Orlando Brown, bless his heart.

We don't have time because you came to us with a conspiracy theory that I would say and Olivia might be able to confirm. This was maybe on the original list of of options that we sent out to like everybody when we were first recording this podcast, like it was like part of my original passion projects to take on. But I can when when this show was conceived and since it has changed a lot, borries come on, It's

become a completely different thing. But I'm so happy that you were brave enough to finally take down this challenge. You said, my Mama told me Megan Marco is a roll back that's right to me and most I just saw it on the internet. I yeah, I saw it on your list, and I was like, I have never heard this theory. I need to see what the hell this is because there is something so fascinating about Megan Markle and the waves and lengths people will go to hate her when when honestly, let's be let's be a

little real here. All you gotta do is just like watch like four interviews and you're like, okay, like she's kind of annoying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Like like you don't have to really like make up a theory. You could be like, actually, just like a little annoying. Yeah you mean that lady who pretended not to know what the monarchy was. Yeah. I could find a way to hate

her pretty quickly. I don't need to be a robot to pull it off, because I will say that as someone who has a great respect for both the power of robots and commoners who can marry into money. This versions both of my interests. I love this. It's sci fi meets like you know, uptown girl or like pretty root, Yeah, pretty robot. There you go, see now you got to have the like sound of the yes. But he's just closing on a lug nugget. You know, it's not a ring,

it's just a nugget. Has to be man, right, that's all it has to be. No one said it had to be expensive and nice, like who's that? And that's where my first wife made a mistake. You know, is is she? She didn't understand that? And now now we're at our setting. I'm joking. I've only been married once, but what wouldn't that be great if I had a first wife? I thought that was crazy. It was like whoa This this was from his poetry days. I like people in their mid thirties that are divorced. They seem

like way older and way more haggard. It's just like, in general, they've been through it. They know, like we've all been through breakups, but a divorce is next level. So yeah, yeah, there I have a few friends now who have who have ventured into divorce. And then there are a few who had kids and then found themselves to force and it's like, oh, you're you're a person. Now you're a fucking you're you're really feeling human in a way that I may never know human. You know,

do you feel human? Oh? I feel human. But that one feels like it's like you're biting fresh meat human, if that makes sense. If it feels very raw and sort of turned in a way that that that the caveman had to do it. Whereas like, I'm following a system and a rule that you're you're entrenched with it, You're you're you're you're in the flow of it, you're doing what you're supposed to. Yeah, whereas they're like, I'm off the grid, baby, Yeah, I'm outside of the rules. Yeah.

I made a cell phone out of like a tin can and a in a thick wire. It's like, I'm I'm a fucking man with roommates. I'm doing. I'm sucking feeling all of it. Like that's like howl, Like do you have a friend that has a washer and dryer? You're like, oh my god, unit, do you guys have that? Are you guys fanful? Yeah? Day, I'm still like I am fully grown and someday I'm still looking forward to that moment. I have a dishwasher, So that makes me feel Oh, it's huge. I never stopped doing I'm doing.

I've been doing it all day, every day. I would be always doing laundry. It really you start to live underneath it. But it's okay because it's better than going to the laundry man. Yeah, there's the the exchange is it's well worked it. Whatever I have to pay, I'm never going back. Yeah that if that's the end of times for me, that'll just be how I end, because I wouldn't. You can't go back. I can't go back to not having a dishwasher. Like, that's never gonna happen

for me. I'm too late, I'm too lazy when it comes to doing dishes. And I will fully admit that. Yeah, I've never not had a dishwasher. Wow. Yeah, oh one apartment in San Francisco. One apartment in San Francisco didn't have a dish But that was when I was like I was like twenty two, Like what, I can't wash my one dish? Actually I didn't even learn to use a dishwasher until like four or five years ago. I truly had never had one in any of my places.

Didn't know how to use the motherfuckers. So like even in your childhood home or did like my dad my dad's house had a dishwasher, but I didn't do no choreesing there, so I I cleaned my room that was my responsibility. But there was enough infighting inside of the house that like I had sort of exempted myself from those kinds of chores. And then my mom never had dishwasher, so I was just raw dog and the baby. I just yeah, so curious. That's that's that's that was quite

the opposite. You always and you just kept the dishwasher. And we lived in bad apartments at sometimes sharing rooms, always a dishwasher. Whoa I mean I my mom did too, but but never dishwasher in any of those bad ones. Sorry, that's that's cool. You're cool strong. You know what childhood drama you moved past. It's okay, your triceps, you know what I mean. So so, Nicole, the first you hear of it is from this list. You're bought in, or at least bought into exploring it. Where did you fall

on the sort of like conversation. Was there ever a point where you considered, hell, yeah, she might be or did it just feel like absurd vitriol about sweet Meg and Marco? Well, it sounds like absurd vitriol of course, I mean to me anyway, And so I felt but I felt connected to it because I I am also a biracial woman and I was in London like right after the Royal wedding, and so I feel a connection. I like to call her my fake cousin, even though she's definitely not my cousin. So I was like, what

is this? Like? Why why do people come up with so many theories? Because there's there's been a lot of conspiracy theories, but the robot one is just one of the bigger, weirder ones for sure. But I was just like, I have to I have to see what this is even talking about. And it it seems like it came like a while ago. It happened like what four years

ago or something. It's been like a minute. Yeah, So that I think if we're referring to the same thing the original conversation about her being a robot, and we'll get we'll get further into this in the research section, but the original conversation about her being a robot comes from that two thousand eighteen clip from Britain's Got Talent where the host said basically cuts to Harry and Megan in the audience, and everybody reacts because their faces aren't moving,

Like specifically, Megan's face does not move an inch, her eyes do not blink, eyebrows don't shift, nothing, and they're holding on them for like thirty five seconds or some ship, And so everybody's freaking the funk out because like their faces don't move, And that sort of was the birthing of of everybody being like, hey, there's something wrong with them,

and specifically her. Yeah, and they said they thought she was robot more than him because his his face was smiling and hers wasn't, and like, of course, yeah, he had a very big, happy smile and hers was like very smug and sort of like flat right, And of course you see a woman not smiling, you gotta question it, you gotta call it. Were like, why this bit happy? It's the finale? God damnit. I'm fascinated by the amount

of conspiracy theories that they've come up with. Two not I mean, make to make Megan Markle evil, but not just that, but like make her like a tool of the American government to destroy you know, London or you know, Britain. And it's like, it's like what I was because I don't I watched the Crown, but I don't remember if print this. That Princess Diana of course was like an outsider as well. But I'm like, did she get like even a quarter of the ship that that Megan Markles getting.

I don't think. I mean, obviously it's racism, but also what else is going on? Yeah, like you have too much time on their hands the internet, what's going on? You know? I think that that Princess Diana existed besides the racism, and we should acknowledge that the racism and plays a major part of it. But I do think that Princess Diana existed in a time where like you could do a pretty basic thing and be pretty widely celebrated for it. Like, I mean, she was blown, she

was cool, everybody liked her. You know, she's running racist at the schools, yeah all the time. Yeah, But like now, if you high five a person with age, it's not like you're a hero. It's just like, I don't know, that's just be high five in people. Like but like we can all agree that Princess Lady Dies seem cooler than right, Yeah, I'll say that, it's not that I don't Yeah, And also I don't not like Megan Marko. I just was watching the documentary and I was like, oh, brother,

Like give me a break. They're just both like it's just like, when are you guys gonna stop talking about how the press hates you? That's my thing. I'm like, we get it. You don't have to keep talking about it.

You know, like we're good, we get it. Yeah. I wouldn't say that they're equally cool by any means, but I will say that, like, it was easier to be cool back then, do you know what I'm saying, Like, we didn't find out that Will Smith was a dork until like six years ago, because that motherfucker was just riding off of fucking of a sweet period in life where you could just do basic ship and be a goddamn hero. Well, that's like when it was like the

seventies eighties. It's like music industry, you could just like walk down the street and get a record deal, or like walk into a casting director's office and be a movie star. Everything's changed, and everything's way more scrutinized now because the Internet is so accessible and because so many people are watching all the time. Yes, there's still people

we like more than than others. We don't. I know, there is something I think that's like being progressive is being learned to be Like maybe the slight skinned black lady is just kind of boring and Diana was kind of cool. Yeah, and also like maybe maybe it's maybe it's actually maybe it's actually this is gonna sound crazy. Maybe it's actually less racist to say a black woman is annoying as ship, you know what, like'ting black women. But like, but like maybe I don't hate I don't

hate black women. I just don't think Megan Markles seems cool. So David hates black women everybody today. I'm just I don't hate black women either. I'm just like, it's it's you know, maybe it's past racism to hate. I think there's a very real possibility. In fact, it's it almost feels objective that this is a boring person. The question is the question of them becoming a celebrity, and all the other things are are obviously it's all played in

this weird sort of game of the monarchy. But I would argue, and we were sort of talking about this earlier, I would argue, all these motherfucker's are boring. She's just a weirdo for being this, for being for being monarchy level boring before she even became a part of the monarchy. That's what makes it fucking nuts. But I do think at its core is like how the fund did you learn to be like princess level dull before you entered into this this already like dull last space. It is

truly wild. And there's I remember I don't know who said it or where I read it or what it was, but there was something along the lines of like if you want to be a politician or like in this case, a monarch or whatever the hell you, you have to have some level of like how do you say it's psychopathy,

psycho psychopathies? Be a psycho, Like there's something a little bit wrong with you because you're knowing what a crazy world you would go into, and you're actively wanting that, but not in a way that's like naive, Like you you see how insane politicians lives are, and you're like, yeah,

I think I want to run the country. Like something wrong, right, And like so she had to have I think, like I met someone who knew her and they said she was really nice, but she was always like super put together. So it's just like she maybe she was just born to be in that world, and like that is a certain type of personality that we cannot relate to because

I would not some people. Some people gut it, like people just like you ever know people who were just like they understand the mechanics of being fresh in a way that you'll never understand. Do you know? What I always think of two is like when I work on shows or something and there's like I'm like, this is some bullshit, Still finish it, And then the person next to me is like being all nice and patient, and I'm like, oh, that's good. They're good at their job,

because I could not do that, you know what I mean? Yeah, Like like that's the type of person that I imagine too, of like where it's just like they're made, they have it like them to just it's fine, it's all good. Let's face it. Some people are just better than us. Yeah, there really is a world filled with talent lists Beyonce's you know what I mean, where it's like Beyonce is that, but she's exceptionally talented, and so you ignore the fact that like, hey, why that lady don't blink as much

as me. Yeah, you know what I mean, a lot of people who don't blink. It's like, why she ain't the same as me? But then but then it's yeah, it's it's truly on the flip side. There's a bunch of people that are like that. But also, don't you know they're not fucking doing the single ladies stance. They just are like doing corporate Yeah, they're just like on a real small level with one p a system. I mean, like, but as I'm not even single ladies, as they can't

afford the right to it. All right, need to take a break. We're gonna come back with more Nicole Thurnaman and more. My MoMA told me when yeah, we're back here, I wasn't sure if you were gonna say. I was confused that you were dancing. I'm s all right, I don't know. I was expecting more of a I think you hit truly your shortest drop available, and yeah that's I thought maybe you would hit a second one to to add a little you know what I mean. It's like, all right, I came fast, but but brown to that

bad boy and starting to the beginning of the new year. Man, I'm like a race. All right, well we're back. We're back here with more more those sweet drops more, Nicole Thurnaman, we're still talking America, or still talking about the possibility that Megan Markle is in fact a robot. Did upon hearing this, uh, in considering this possibility, you you said you started to look at some other conspiracy theories about her.

Did any of those stand out where you are like, I don't believe the robot ship, but I am bought in on this other one about this thing. Mm hmm. Let me look, I'm looking at the different ones. The Royal family shutdown, bro, I just think so there's there's there. They're One of the theories is that their relationship is a plan to take over America, Like how are they going to do that? That would be a lot of work and Americans don't give a shit about that, Like,

like more than you think. I've found whenever the Royal Family comes up, it's more than you think. But I don't think it's enough for us. Yeah, they like the gossip and the like sexiness of it all and the stuff and the quote unquote style. They don't you know, they don't care about They don't want you to run the country, like we just want them to look pretty

and wave in cars, you know. But yeah, but also now that we're talking about it, how we were talking about Megan Marco's personality, I'm like, you know what, she could be a robot because would I mean, would a regular person, you know, be that good at being a princess and whose employed? Like, listen, man, if I'm gonna I'm gonna make a whole last robot, it's not gonna be boring. Yeah, but okay, technology to make boring. They start off flow, Okay, you gotta build in more technology

and update them as you go. The more it learns about humanity. Yeah, what's that? What's that real famous ai that they made? So Fia? Yeah, Sophia, that motherfucker's boring right now. She's all she does is like raises her eyebrows and looks around. Does she talk? She talked? She she'll be like killed me now every once in a while and they'll be like not yet, Sophie, and she goes, Okay, it's very it's it's kind of a sad thing. But

but Sofia, she's boring. But I imagine in like six years that bitch is going to be the life of the party. Was Sophia fourteen pro Max, Like, she's gonna be looking really good. Why don't you get those updates? He got her head's gonna be a little bigger water just for a second. Yeah, exactly, I can't swim in there. But they's an agent for the US government. Also, Megan Marco, I can see that. An agent for the US why not just infiltrate the system? But what system? So that

they don't even do anything the monarchs. That's That's what I'm saying, Like it's the most it's like a bunk system. So bory I. If I'm understanding your reactions correctly, you are in no way bought into this conspiracy theory. This is I think she's just a boring girl from l A. Damn you, and that's okay. They've grown on to do eight things in the world boring ladies from l A. Like it makes sense. It made it all makes sense

to me. Oh, I think it's just funny to think about how boring we think she is and then how like she'll wear the wrong shoes and the British press is like a schedule and it's like it's so funny because it's like she is not doing anything, and like the scandals they come up with are so ridiculous, and the conspiracing geor is ridiculous because we're like, we gotta find something on it right to be interesting. I realized that she's boring because I was watching. I watched the

first episode. I was telling Langston, and she does all this interesting ship and it's still boring. Yeah, she goes to all these amazing countries and she's just like, we're in a ten. Meanwhile, my friend Rick went to Cleveland last summer and it was the most exciting story I heard. Oh year, here's the understand she leaping outside truly like in the bush, which I've always had able a little bit of trouble with that word it It don't episode.

I was like, stop it stop. I don't know why I don't like it, but I don't like when y'all say the bush that feels that, that feels Yeah. Do you like jungle better? Yes? And I don't know that it's a better word. Suddenly, jungle is the one where I'm like, hey, I also know that technically what they're describing is not a jungle and is in fact technically a bush. But I don't like when they say it. Do you know what I'm saying, Like, you don't like man, you don't want to mean, you don't want it to

be a push like bush bush people. Sounds bad, sure, but I think it's because of the broad sweeping nature of bush man and bush people that that I presume when you say the bush, you're picturing a little black motherfucker behind a tree, you know what I mean, smiling, dancing or something. Yeah, but I'm high. Why are they doing that? I'm on drugs? What is their problem? See? When I think of the bush, Know, when I think a jungle, I think like Apocalypto. That why did I mean?

That's not that's the most That's what the biggest describing factor that it would be now now after his political rants. What I'm saying, you watch it? What do you think them running from a leopard was enough? No, it's a guy. It's when you watch that movie, the first thing that comes to mind is not melk Gibson. It is for me. I was for me too, So I don't know. Yeah, if you the star of it, he's not even now. This is when he grew a beard and was like

being real, real, like serious about his work. But right before he called, he said he hoped his girl got raped by a packet of nigger. So he was he was sort of in that sweet spot of like, oh, we know you're the best actor and you can direct, So he was, Mel was cruising dog. Yeah, the had to crack, so he had to fall off at some point. It is the you know, the two thousand's people got to fall at some point. It's because there are some things that we just got. You just do it in secret.

Don't tell nobody, you don't tell a podcast. No. I mean, oh, man, if you can see my YouTube playlist, a lot of people who are releasing albums from jail, That's what I'm saying. I love it. And he's uh, Mel Gibson's making movies and stuff still, right, so like technically we're allowed to still they're making us watch him so we can, right. That's the crazy part is like my man fully made his way back, which which means Kanye can too. And all of that feels strange and toxic, but here we are,

and you know, what are you gonna do? Yeah, maybe Megan Marco can come back from all of this. I think actually she probably had. I don't think she's really dealing with all that much. Well maybe I don't know in California, but mostly just because their podcast sucks, right. Have you guys heard the podcast good or Bad means a hater today. I've never brought myself to listen to her podcast. I'm not you know. I know I had

a podcast. I didn't listen to that, and sometimes we'd be killing and I don't even go back for those jokes, you know what I mean, people about it. I don't remember, Okay, whatever. Yeah, you get a lot of messages where somebody without context, is like, hey, belly button's inside out and you're like, bro, I was just talking. I don't remember when you said obediens don't wear shoes and I was like, I don't know, man, I was riffing. I don't know. I was in the zone, okay,

I wasn't thinking about what I was saying. We we should unpack some of this research because it's so far you both seem to fall far closer to She's not a robot, she's just a boring lady than than on the other side, and so I'd love to see if any of this changes your mind. All right, So the original thing that we talked about about the the conversation being started by their appearance on Britain's Got Talent. Their

faces aren't moving. What ends up being proven pretty quickly is that it is not, in fact Harry and Megan there at the event. It is instead two people wearing a lifelike mass that they purchased from Madam Madame Tusseau's wax Museum in London. Okay, hell yeah, so this one

in London. Then goes on to say that those people wearing the masks are premiering their their new line of sort of like life like figurines, their life like sort of like wax figures, and these masses is sort of their their promotion inside of the Britain's Got Talent finale. I don't love being this guy, but that sounds like some the government would make up. Never that's what you're gonna say. Now, he's been very anti for this conspiracy theory. But he looks around, he gets a little uh like,

he gets dirty. He just he's just being a little clean boy about old Meggie marks. You can see kidding. I don't know how the internet works. That I got some weird, but I like, I personally, I like where your head is going. So so you're suggesting at least that doesn't sound Oh no, guys, you just crazy masks. Yeah.

And what makes that even weirder is that the host does throw to them, like the host is like Prince and whatever, duchess, thank you so much for being here, hope y'all, like he's fully like gives an intro to so the cameraman went to them. They don't see the normal seats. It's not like me like, oh, he's could be by he could have got good seats on stoppable, or he could be up by the Nacho sign like in the Famous People's box, like they went, you know

what I'm saying, It doesn't make any sense. And and given their smiles because you know, the documentary talks a little bit about this of like when Harry and and William had to basically like walk their their mother's like various funeral processions and weird sort of like meet and greets after the the funerals and ship where like they do have to smile very intensely despite the fact that they are literally being reminded person by person that their

mother just got killed in a car crash. So, like, them holding weird fucking smiles is proven fact. We've seen it since they were kids. So them holding these weird smiles while they're in the middle of this doesn't feel as insane. It feels like one of those weird Oh you've been in the public your whole life, like you just know how to like, yeah, because you get better to be caught with the fake smile and to get caught like like they any any kind of crazy face. Yeah.

Right to that point, though, why the fund does Megan know how to do that? If if she is not a robot, then how the fuck did this person who did not experience that level of trauma combined with that level of professionalism learned to just maintain that kind of professionalism at all times. I mean maybe they one night they were talking, you know, and she was like, tell me about yourself. What's the hardest thing about being a prince?

And he's like, I hate having to prolong my smiles and she's like, he's like, ever since my mom died, it's really great. And she's like, I'm so glad that, you know, we stayed in tonight instead of going out, And he's like pass me the bushmals, and then she always remembered that the bushes again, and then they keep talking about we love bushes, don't we? We love them, baby like we love bushes, don't we? Bababy on the printing straw, Give me little bushy, bush bush bushy, come on,

bring it to shine, Megan petrol in meat boot. First of all, I get back to that voice. Maybe she got some media training from suits, right, Maybe she got a little media training. Sure, do you know how that press tour is for suits? It's gotta be popping off and you listen, we've all been a part of unsuccessful shows. We know that there is very little training that comes

with something that uh that no one gives the funk about. Everybody. Now, you gonna be on there for long exactly, And even if you are who's watching my sister, you say what you want? You Yeah, the us A network in two thousand and eight, You're fine, You'll you'll make it. Thought about that. But that said, I think I think there's something a little it does feel a little odd that this person is so uh possibly prepared at all times.

If I'll continue a little bit in this in this this research, the the theory sort of evolves, right that even though it's proven fake, people still buy into it. And basically what the argument starts to become on the internet is that Queen Elizabeth the Second actually Lily Bit. If you if you watch The Crown, you know Queen Elizabeth the Second actually had Megan murdered and replaced her with a robot. That's where, because why wouldn't you murder her and then just be like like I didn't accident?

That was that was first of all. You know, Harry is a regular listener to the podcast, and sorry am I. As soon as i learned a British accent, I'm gonna join in on this roof. That's gonna be hell I coconuts. This might be the most racist thing I've been a part of all day. Great, But Megan in the documentary, Megan said, Megan said they went out to lunch and had a nice time, that they laughed and had a little jokes. So Elizabeth liked her, She said, yes, ye,

robots said that she liked her. Well, that's the thing, right, is that like, if if I'm literly bit, I'm going to replace her. Well that's what that's what you called her. You think that your food because you're pretty alive. Right now, I want to go on record and say I think I'm better than Philip. I don't want anybody out there to think for a second that I doubt myself more than fucking Philip. I'm way better than Philip, hands down. Everybody would pick me over Philip if they got to

know me. Cong Ain't I like that? I like that. I got nothing against it. They the Royals also lived for a very long time. Maybe maybe Elizabeth was a robot and maybe Philip was a robot because they lived till they We had this technology though, this is new techno. You're right, robot technology. Wait, do you think they got frozen in like the nineties when everybody was like cry oh freezing themselves or whatever. Do you guys remember that that was like a thing for a hot second, people

didn't really do like in movies. They always did it. No, it's actually dumb lit a huge part of my upbringing. Yeah, they're legit doing it now. Cryogenics is is very much a real thing now that like people spend I think we did an episode about it, or at least talked about it in an episode. People are spending upwards of Like I think it's like, uh two hundred thousand dollars to to freeze and store your body um that it can be brought back. Would you freeze your body? Both

of you guys? Would you guys freeze it? No? I wanna. I want to give back to whatever this planet is with whatever, like you know, bits of me, and and figure out a way to just bury bury me, raw baby, you know what I mean? Like whatever whatever is just gonna give make this planet keep existing. I'd happily accept of it. Yeah, but just you know, toss me in the ocean, burn me. I don't care. Just something that's

I don't know what helps, but whatever helps. Yeah. And I'm the kind a type of person where I think of I always. I think it's because I don't want to hide that I have like the idea of reincarnation, Like I'm like, I'm gonna come back as something else, but I don't want to come back as me again. I want to come back as like a tree or a bird, or like another person that has more money

or something I don't know, like something cool. So No, I would never do I wouldn't want to freeze myself just like like you said, like, burn me, throw me in the ocean, do something cool, put me in the earth, let me become fertilizer. Yeah yeah, like you know, to your point, I don't want to I don't want to be a tree. But I'll take Lackith Stanfield. That seems pretty cool. Give me and then double back on somebody's

already lived life. Right, that's not how reincarnation works. I'm just saying, Okay, Lakeith Stanfield of twenty d you know what I mean, Like whatever, whatever. Yeah, their version of it is just a silly nigger who who moans on the internet. That's that's what I like. Oh yeah, is that what he did on Clubhouse? He went into the moaning room, and that the thing I never listened to the moaning room? Was it hot? Was it weird? I come on, don't put me on this. You would know.

I'll be like that. Nobody business but me and a little and you sing good and make love good. Okay. So uh so, the the argument at least would be that that Elizabeth replaced her very quickly for the sake of maintaining the status quo of the crown. Now where I start to have issue with it, and I imagine

you all might feel the same. Is that if she's a robot and you replaced her, the fact that it then becomes like difficult to to keep control of her feels a little too uh sky Nettie for my taste, because she wouldn't just go be boring in Tyler Perry's house. She would like help to start an actual like robot revolution if she were that. Yeah, she doesn't feel active enough to have someone else pulling the strings. Yeah, I

guess that's true. I guess that's true. And but and also the robot had to have malfunctioned at some point if she is one, because they moved to California, Like, if Elizabeth had made this robot, she would just be quiet and be sitting in Kensington Palace right now. But they're in California and making bad podcasts and Netflix shows. I love it. I love that you came in hating. Good for you, because I watched three episode of the

documentary and I was like, y'all, we get it. The press was Race has calmed down, like just start live your lives now. I got in not a big argument, but I got in a debate with my wife because of that reason where it was she was like, man, you know she was saying this and it really like I connected with it, blah blah blah. And it's like or this was interesting. She wasn't really connecting, but this

was interesting. And I was like, bro, this don't feel silly to you, Like this don't feel for real crazy that a lady is spending this amount of time being like I can't believe that the greatest racist in history are racist, Like that's that don't feel dumb, I mean, and I understand that, like she was actively pursued constantly, but also it's kind of like don't read the comments, like you know what I mean, Like why you're seeing

too much of it? But maybe that's because that's kind of how the royal family operates, is like they don't want to be seen negatively, so they're always paying what people are saying about them. Someone this jigaboo away from me and she should have seen it coming. Okay, you're getting better at these drops. That literally feels like that's like stitched on some very important like fucking quilt they have in their house. Is someone get this jigaboo off of me? You? I mean, like there's no way that

you didn't know that these people are that wild. If you're the first black anything, you have to be willing or you have to understand at that level of scrutiny, he's gonna come the first black anything, let alone the first black person to marry into the royal family. What did you what did you possibly have thought was gonna happen? Yeah, that's a great point, like it was gonna be bad

no matter what. But I you know what I also think, But this is I don't know, maybe I'm being ignorant, but like she she totally passes for white and she's getting that much hate. I cannot even imagine like what they would have done if it would have been a person that presented as black. To me, it's just like, let's be honest, there's never been a dark skin robot. That's the fifteen mex bro. Okay, they don't come out with that yet. They don't have it yet. It's like emojis,

they don't start with. They don't start with y'all. They gotta they got a standard color and they'll work white thumbs up for like eight years before they thought about me. That's wild. It's just crazy. Did you see the thing on that I was on the documentary. I think too of the lady wearing the brooch, the blackamore brooch, I think is what it was called. I don't know if you got that far. I can't remember who it was.

Some woman who was going to meet Megan at like her coming out party, like hey, I'm sucking the prince, let's have a party. Um. But a woman that came to the party who was like in the royal family, wore a brooch of like you know how, it's like pretty much just like a black face like slave looking doll. Like that's what the brooch was, more or less, except for it was like diamond and crusted, and it was like, why are you going, why are you wearing that to

go meet you know, Harry's black girlfriend. Come on, but this is like a British lady's doing. I'm gonna look at who it was, goddamn. But that's what I'm saying. They hate black people so much that they're yelling at this white woman for being black. That's it. And they're furious that her for being black, and that's crazy. That's that's the point right there. That's here and play out brais a joke on you don't want to be like that. Let me be this way you think about yourself. You

can grab the numbshoves if you need to do. When you get that's crazy, that is a white lady, don't look, I get it. I know, I know. Technically we got the same chemistry, but na bro something something wouldn't cook the same because that is a white woman. And that's okay. Ain't nothing wrong with that, Meggie Pooh, But you you gotta be a fool if are really. The grander point is is that, like yo, they hated her that much she is, she went out of her way to be

the whitest woman possible, literally possible. I don't know she went out of her way. You don't think so. You don't think she spent a life care writing room. Don't know anything about her? Like he's my prom I I don't know. I don't know much about Megan Marko. Like where's she from? She's from l A. Her mom is black, her dad's white. Her dad turned into a real jerk,

but not he wasn't always a jerk. They were close when they were younger, right, Yeah, it sounds like, uh, sort of once she started getting money, things got complicated for them, and uh never made its way back that that. He got real funny about the money and ship. Okay, I don't even know what side I'm on anymore. I don't either, but I'm excited to keep exploring. We're gonna take one more break, We're gonna come back with more Nicole Thurn and more. My mama told me why something's alling.

There's nothing that Megan Marco would ever say. She wouldn't say that. Oh my god. I was thinking about that in the in the documentary show her like dancing and she's getting kind of loose, and I was like, oh my god, Like, I wonder what they're sex is like do you ever think about that with boring people? You're like, do you think they get crazy? Or do you think it's like quiet and you can hear the springs in

the bed. Like, I think it's got to be like that because they're coming from a place where they've already received enough love. Having sex, We're not trying to bridge some sort of a terrible gap. Seems like it could be maybe RESTful. Yeah. I think I think Harry at one point probably was having some weird sex. But I think that was him in that weird like I smoked cigarettes and shape my face. But but now it's just

he just goes and then like rolls over. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he's just trying to produce airs to the throne and even though they're not going to do it her rump. Yeah he was wild for a second. He was. He was wearing Nazi uniforms, having weird sex, smoking cigarettes. Yeah, it was a real bad boy for a second. And then he also not to mention, you date enough white guys. I swear to god, they all are like, yo, that was high school addressed in a Nazi uniform, Like they

say some fucked up thing. They didn't. You're like, why are we dating? Like why would what's wrong with me? It's just so she's dating a guy that we're Nazi uniform at one point too. So, I mean, I guess that's just how it goes. Is that just like a white rite of passage? Yeah, you just gotta some of this has to have some level of checkpoint where you go at Yeah, I knew they were racist, it's not

it's not a secret. It's really interesting to me because I always think that the like British people to me, like their TV always seems so first and they have like a lot of interracial couples or like you know, they even have like I've seen like interracial brother and

sister pairs on TV. And but then I I wouldn't think they were that racist, to be honest, they were ahead of they were ahead of us and in all that mixed mixed people in the media, because I used always used to think that as a kid, like like we watched like Red Dwarfs and you'd be like, this black guy's best friends with this white guy. Yeah or whatever.

They're very but I think that maybe that just speaks to how racist we are, say in flame that I'm interested in that, like maybe they're not maybe in sometimes progressive that there's just black and white people who were friends. I think it's crazy that we didn't reflect that in any of our media until like tenure. That's what's crazy. That's insane. You're totally right. And the fact that we noticed it because we still don't see it that often.

I mean I noticed it because I feel like we don't see it here, and so yeah, it's like it is kind of racist, Like, well, that's weird. Look that black guy and white I'm talking, but just date on DVS. Nuts. Yeah, we were real. We we had Jim Crow on television for a lot longer than we we had it in our systems. Yeah, yeah, definitely. I thought you were going to say that we were raced. Wait, I'm just losing

my train of thought. But I was gonna I thought you're gonna say we were racist because because I sometimes think, also, this is not true with Megan Marco really because it was pretty obviously racist, but like I sometimes think, like, we're not Okay, I'm gonna, I don't know, am I gonna get in trouble for this? You know? When they had that like the like the like eight and M, like the kid modeling for H and M and he wore his shirt like I'm a little monkey or whatever

the funny in the job. Okay, I never would have thought that was racist. But then people are like, you're calling that black kid a monkey? And I'm like, wait, are you racist? Because I never would have thought, but I mean, listen, I might be wrong here. I'll be honest. I get real weird every time somebody refers to my daughter as a monkey, and it's had it's happening, Like yeah, you guys are being little monkeys, and it's it truly is coming from no place of malice. It often, you know,

it's not like she's she's completely alone. When when it happens, it's usually like referring to a few kids who are like running around and doing a thing. So yeah, sometimes a mixed group. There has been just black kids. But but that's the thing, is like when it's happened, When it's happened, it's it's like, if I do something about this, I'm gonna feel fucking crazy. I'm gonna feel absolutely insane.

That's screaming at this person about the monkeys. I know you're right, and I'm I know I'm not right about this, but it's true. I don't I think you are right. It's the microaggressions, don't go. That's the is. I don't know if I was seeing that as much as a microaggression, but obviously it has to be because like what you're what you're saying. If you're a parent and you see a kid wearing a shirt that says I'm the best monkey in the jungle or whatever, like you're gonna be like, wait,

that's sucked up. But I always think of it. Yeah, And I always think of it as like, well, I didn't see racism until you saw racism, and now I get it, but like I didn't see it, but with the mega markets, Yeah, I will say my defenses are on high. General. I tend to be very hyper vigilant about that ship. So that might have I've been dog

skin a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, And maybe maybe that's just my my experience not having been that that that I go whatever, But it truly is like everything is at peace, we are we are all enjoying a moment. This person I don't believe to be saying this from any place other than like, that's a word that you associate with silly little kids, and so I'm I'm letting it slide on on a belief And if you don't feel like it's that, sister, and it might not be, I'm not. I'm not. I'm just saying I

like you. But I think to your point, maybe it needs to be called out just because the lesson needs to be learned, sinister or not, Like, maybe that's part of what we as people need to be effectively doing. But you also when you do it, you're the crazy person in the room. There's no fixing that. You're gonna call it out and nobody is going to be on your side being like, yeah, bitch, watch your fucking mouth

with the table. All the kids are crying, and get the funk out of here because you work with my wife. I didn't. Right, there's no there's no solvent it. And I think one way you can tell Megan Marcot is not a robot is that she's going through what you're talking about right now, to that moment where you're like, oh, I don't like that, Like and I had never made any notice that, Like when I was when I was younger, I looked Kansas, so you would have thought, oh, I

dealt with a ton of racism. I didn't deal with a ton of racism. I dealt with some, but like the first thing I really dealt with it was in Chicago, and I was like, whoa, people are racists? Like this sucks. Like people see you in a certain light and that

can be really frustrating. And I think that Megan. I'm sitting here talking to Megan, but like she got that, but she happened to be in front of like billions of people, like all of a sudden she's being called black, which probably hasn't happen very much, she'd be honest, And I's like, damn, I think to that point where I where I agree with you that that this may have just been a person discovering a new experience when she

discovered it. But where I get frustrated is like, bitch, don't discover racism at thirty five, Like if if you didn't figure it out before, now you just gotta shut the funk up about it and let it happen to you or not happen to you. But you coming and giving your book report on the black experience when you've already you know, gone as a white lady this whole time. It doesn't trigger any sensitivity for Metely Not. I totally

agree with you. No, I think it's just interesting because it's like but that it's like, who are we to the gate? She got any when she got here, man, But she's at the party now, yeah, man, And I get it. And so I I acknowledge her experience, and I recognize that that they did an unkind thing to a human person for the most part, and and do I feel sympathy for it, No, I do not, But do I do. I recognize it's real. It is, that's real, right,

let me let me wrap up. Well, we're not really wrapping up, but we have a few more pieces of information that i'd love to throw your way to sort of gauge your if this changes you on the meter. So naturally, there isn't a lot of definitive evidence right that I can point to that proves that she is

in fact a robot. But I did go through the documentary and a few other things to try to present some other information that I think might lead us into believing she might have robotic qualities, android qualities, whatever the funk you want to call it. Number one, she refers almost exclusively to Prince Harry as h h, what are you doing okay? Going the work of a robot? I don't know what. I love you. It doesn't say right, it's crazy, it's not flowy. It don't feel good leaving

your lips. He don't feel good hearing it. No, my my my uncle's name. My uncle's name is Henry, and my aunt calls him h every now and then, and I think it's cute. But the way she says it is exactly like that. It's like it's like a it's like programmed, like I will now play the nickname H and it's like what, it's so hard. It's like when you tell Sory to call you big Daddy, and it's like, yeah, series said the words, but she didn't mean at all.

Yeah she need Yeah, there's nothing behind those words. Age feels off to me. It does not feel like a normal thing for anybody to choose. Additionally, what I would point to is that Megan's first appearance in the public eye maybe you guys know this actually came from an episode of Nick News. Nick News on Nickelodeon is actually when which I think, which which you're already beating me to this, but is the correct response for nick News.

Nobody gave a fuck about nick News except robots and dogs that had the TV still on when you left the house, you know what I mean? That was it for nick News, Nickelodeon news. What Nick News was, Okay, it was it was on Sundays. I believe Nickelodeon had their own news show that was basically an adult hosted show, but like kid run, where like they talked to real kids about like real ship that they cared about. Meg and Marco actually ends up on nick News because she

saw an Ivory soap commercial that that basically Ivory. You remember Ivory soap evany soap where I'm totally joking, I'm totally why the duck's got to be covered in black? You know what? I do buy a lot of black soap, though, you represent for the dark skin soap. The black soapy never killed no turtle. Yeah, okay, so she saw something Ivory soap. What So she saw a commercial for Ivory soap and in the commercial there's a line where they basically say women all over the country are turning to

Ivory for their dirty dishes or whatever. I'm paraphrasing, but that's essentially what the line is. It says, specifically, women are are all across the country are are using Ivory soap. And Megan Marco takes offense to this, and she says, why does it have to be women? Why can't it be people, and writes a letter to Procter and Gamble basically asking them to change their stance on using this

commercial saying women. And then Procter and Gamble, the the parent company of Ivory Soap, then changes the actual commercial. They they produce a new line in this commercial, replace it for all the commercials they're showing worldwide where they now say people all over the country are using ivory soap to clean their dirty dishes or whatever the funk it is. Do you think that's like when you read one of those tweets and somebody's like, I woke up this morning to my little boy, k, Mommy, can I

wear a hoodie today? And I said, no, son, do you think letter? You're like that my four year old? You don't even think that the ranting about capitalism and the downfall of America And it's like, wait, what did it kick down my bedroom door? And said when it's gonna be my time? Lord? I don't know. You know, they said, I have video of it. Have video. They have video of her writing the letter. But to your point,

I might just think everything is a scam. But they could have easily reproduced this video the or this this letter writing. They could have had her write it a second time and lick an envelope and mail it under the presumption that like, yeah, this is you know, the little girl did the thing. It feels like an inside job, feels like I was definitely every soul was an inside job.

But I always feel like this is a this is maybe I totally off the subject of what you're just saying, but like, how do we know any of m a real? How do you even know that they are robot? How do you know? Like what if those are just like computer animation pictures that we're seeing or something like. That's actually what got me into where I landed in this conspiracy theory. And you know, I've been holding my cards very close because I I didn't want to. I didn't

want you guys to ruin this for me. But I landed. I thought I was watching the first episode. I told Bori this before we got on. I was watching the first episode very sober, very sort of like locked in, trying to gather information, and then halfway through I got high, and and at the point that the high kicked in, what I realized is that I believe, I actually believe that Megan Markle is a robot meant to humanize the monarchy and ensure the survival of the ruling class for

another generation. That's where I landed. I believe genuinely that that all of them are our version of robots that are are being evolved so that they can keep this monarchy and the ruling class in place, and and the only way to do that, and we saw this in the documentary, they said that they have to maintain basically sixty to eight percent approval ratings, right, they have to be able to keep convincing sixty eight percent of the world that that we funk with you, we like you

enough that we don't want to storm your castle and kill you, because that's your only function at this point. And so in order to survive that, they have to keep evolving. They can't just stay these stiff sort of people being like our bloodline is perfect when you're fucking ugly and weird and and hard to look at, you know what I mean? So, so what do you do to keep them? Come on, what do you do to

keep them alive and keep this premise alive? You introduce this beautiful robot who they conflict with but also helps to round one of them so that you understand that this monarchy does have humans inside of it and not other robots who are tricking other people. It truly feels

like a big old scheme to me. Wow, I mean, damn, I know, right, that was heavy, that was real and also That's a great way to think of it, because if you think about it, the last time they had like a little scandal hottie in the in the monarchy was Princess Diana, And so they're getting a little you know, they're falling off, but the nineties are back, and so the way they bring the nineties back is by bringing in a robot that's gonna cause trouble in the royal family.

I also like this idea that the whole front facing royal families robots, and the actual royal family are just these decrepit, ugly seven living underground, like can barely not even enjoying their wealth. They're just like the fucking morlocks. And let's making a dress later. Yeah, there's like bio collecting in buckets underneath these, you know what I mean.

But then you put some robots out there and you let them be as human as we can make them, which is why Elizabeth was less human than Charles's and Charles is less common than Harry is. But the rich Yeah exactly. I like that. I like coming around that. I like it also, I just think we should acknowledge I should acknowledge that. I think the only person that is truly, truly a robot. And I've been thinking about this lately anyway, was Kate Middleton? Kate Middleton is so weird.

She's the same way she wasn't exactly like already ready to be the princess, because I remember she was a little while back in the day. But like when I look at her, she's way too perfectly put together, like not even a hint of a poopa, Like nothing is like out of place. Everything's perfectly ironed. Her hair. I mean, Megan is the same way. But something about Kate Middleton me just does not give human Yeah, no, I think I think I feel similar ship of like Na Kate,

it's too whatever, this is feels far together. Why you you white? Why your hair don't move? That don't seem correct? You know what I mean? The whole thing. Well, because maybe these two women are robots that went into the system. You know that they're the robots, Megan and Kate. I just think, and I think to the grander point, I just think the only way you can ensure the survival

of the royal family is to introduce new elements. Yeah, that that at least shake up the building right to make sure that these people aren't just immediately targeted for being ugly and telling us their blood is better than ours. Mm hmm, yeah, I like you. I like you. Here's the last piece of information that I'll that I'll give you that that I don't know is the closer for this, but it is. It is an additional little tidbit is that.

Strangely enough, Megan Markle's first official appearance on television in an acting role actually came from a show called Century City from two thousand four. It's a two thousand four program called Century City and in these the episode that Megan Marco appears, she actually appears in an episode where a very sexy artificial intelligence takes over the office and is uh and is basically like uh, making a rift between some of the the sort of higher ups at

the office. Okay, I think she. I think they planned a little bit. Uh. It's the matrix showing you the kitty cat twice, you know what I mean? A little deja vu. I think I think there's a little eerie deja vu here. All right, all right, listen man, Yeah, I don't know that you are right. You seem you seem to be coming along very reluctantly. My favorite. If we're taking away, if what are we what are we

walking away from this with? I'm walking away with the with this idea that the the royal family front facing is a bunch of robots and actuality. They're much more miserable, decrepit, disgusting beings living underground. I'll take that. I like that. I think that's how happy. I'll get off the train right there, and that's me. I got what I need. I got you. Nicole, did did this change anything for you? Do you? Do you feel differently about any of the

conversation now? I really like your theory of at Langston. I think that's really smart, and I think if I'm going to believe it, that's how I would believe it. I would believe it as like, but I think that it has to be three robots, and they're all the hot wives. They're all the hot wives Diana, and then Kate's not hot to me, but she's she's hot to people, and then uh, Meghan. They're all they're all robots sent to like up to approve of ratings, add some intrigue

and sexiness and style to the family. After that, when they get to decrepit in red all right? Hell yeah, okay, we're all three bought in? Did it? How did we get on board with this theory? Like, I don't know, that's w Thank you what wowie, Mauie, thank you for everything you do for me, clarious Nicole? Could you could you tell the people where they can find you on what cool ship you have going on? You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Nicole Furman and it's

Nicole with two c's. Um. Yes, I'm on the show called jelly Stone tuning out the news and then any other things that I'm doing you'll see on the that when you follow me. Hell yeah, it's all a big secret to you follow herself for those two major projects that front facing on exactly, I'm really riding on those two projects. The rest of them you gotta pay, you gotta subscribe. Okay, there's a paywall, baby boy. Could you

tell the people where they can find you? They can find me currently scrolling to find that list of dates I have. You tell them and then I'll come back after you. Okay, hell yeah. As always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman on all the all the different applications any of your choosing. I'm around and uh and please, if you are in Los Angeles and you you like our nonsense, please come to our live show. We we have a live show happening February sixteenth at the Allegian

Theater in Los Angeles. Uh, and we would love for you to be there. We have a bunch of great guests already lined up in a few that are being added, and I I'm hering tickets are going fast, so please get your ship together and don't be a dick weed and and not be a part of it. Grow up, grow up and get those tickets. You can see me January twenty at the High Note Comedy We're featuring Rob Hayes in Denver, Colorado. I'll do that on my Instagram.

January I'm at the Newbury and Great Falls, Montana. March I'm at Rooster Tea Feathers in Sunny Vale, California. In March thirty one through April one, you can catch me at the Dallas Comedy Club you know, various other places and and be sure to subscribe to the YouTube channel.

We're still putting these videos up on YouTube. God knows how we're gonna put this one up technically challenges that are that are facing us now or damn near impossible to make this YouTube a bowl, but all other episodes will be available on YouTube for your your ain pleasure, and and one more time for Nicole Thurman. She was so funny and all right, that's it, by bitch. Because I look good, I look smell good, I feel good, and you sing good and make love good. Oh, because

I've been growing crow chips in your nas. Koala Bears are racist. The host hosted money Stuff. I can't tell me