Drinking That Haterade: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

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I can put you in a mansion somewhere in Wisconsin. Welcome Gentiles and little Mamas are like to another phenomenal episode of My.

Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

And we bodyly work to prove the theories of you the listeners.

Yeah, David, really, you hit that s hard today, listeners.

I sometimes when I'm doing v oh, they told me, I don't say s's or like d's or teas. I'm just trying to incorporate my old job into my other.

Job fair enough. I'm like stinck Irman and maybe.

My palms are sweating just discussing it. To be quick. I enjoy a downtown living. I like a law try to get me out on the streets. I'm gonna live off for my mama told me, money up.

It's coming in hot, baby. We're racking it up. We're rich, rich, rich, and it's all because of this the podcasts we built.

Yeah. I shout out to that one guy in Chicago who recognized me on the street. He was walking his dog. He said, hey, you do that shit with buddy from Insecure, Right.

You know why I like that because he's already making it clear he doesn't respect us on a multitude of levels, you.

Know what I mean?

Yeah, Hey, you do that.

Shit with buddy from Insecure. You know, you know he doesn't like my work enough to learn my name, and you know he doesn't like our work enough to not call it shit. That's from the beginning.

There's someone of a working actor. I've seen you another shit you were on the Boys.

That's not that's not what I'm referend for, and that's not what people who hate my guts like to bring up.

Mostly, No, I feel like you get a lot of you're a little gay dude from insecurey there.

I would say twenty five percent of the time I have to be clocking whether or not this is somebody trying to be mean to me.

I believe it. I believe it.

Like sex, seventy five percent of the time, it's just a person being like, fuck, yeah, man, that's cool, nice to meet you. And then there's like twenty five percent where's somebody being like, hey, hey, that's you, isn't it, And you're like yeah, yeah, yeah, But I do other stuff, So fuck you, Hey, maybe eat a dick.

Maybe do you get a lot of like Molly should have picked you. It's that from like dudes.

Not just dudes, but like, uh, A lot of my comments remained that where like I'll post a funny video and it and it has nothing to do with Insecure. It never, frankly has ever had anything to do with Insecure, And then they'll still like right underneath it and be like Molly dumb as hell, y'all, and it's like she doesn't She's not real. I am, this has nothing to do with that.

You're a father.

I've actually never worked at Enterprise in any way, shape or form. But yeah, dumb old Molly huh.

Man, good fucking we just had to get a rental card from the Enterprise in Brooklyn. That sh it took two and a half hour.

Fuck yeah, God damn.

Seen Vincent Deinafrio on the street. Oh that's cool. And then I was on a plane with AOC.

That's not as cool.

That's cool.

Don't AOC on a plane just one of the same ship. I don't know, bro at this, you know that's crazy at this point. That's just riding a plane with a dork. AOZ never seen her?

Really, Come on, what's cool you?

So you're just more celebrating the rarity of it.

Yeah, it was interesting. We were in the same cabin.

Okay, So the fact that it's a it's a retata Pokemon doesn't throw you off. It's just it is like, I haven't seen one of these.

You can't find hiding in the woods behind the gym in tall leaves.

Come on, I'm saying, if you lived in a desert the area Ritata's might be rare. Therefore, the fact that this rare basic ass Pokemon, you're still like, nah, no, no, no, no, a pocket monster. It looks like a.

Rad It is like my top three people I ever seen on a plane.

Yeah, I'm trying to think my who my top.

Three would be? I saw t I one time.

Damn, you'd be saying people I wouldn't even.

Be you are You're crazy? This is all in theory. You wouldn't tell anybody if you saw a t I on a plane.

No, I don't think I was.

This was before stand up comedy, before he maybe comedy.

That's what maybe what my issue is. I can only frame it off of the fact that he now thinks he's a stand up comedian.

No, listen, I'm in the same boat. I immediately disrespect anyone who does what I do because I do it. I understand.

No.

Yeah, in that way, I will never celebrate CI again. I don't care what happens in his life or mine.

What if Tim comes out? What if what if he gets the ghost riders and he comes out in hours like not five, but like what if he has like a seven out of ten hour.

Uh Yeah, I'll hate always. I'll admit it. I'll admit it. If the ship's good and I'm just hating, I think that's fair. You don't me well enough to know, Like I'll just say, like, you're a.

You're pretty good about being like that was good. I still hate that person.

Yeah, I just don't like you, and I can accept there's a few people that I just don't like that, Like every time they have an hour, I'm like, shit, was kind of hate it was fucking good?

You know what I mean?

Well, from the internet, I look, I am a hater. I've been clear about that from the beginning of this podcast. I will be a hater until the day that this podcast, in my own life ends. Uh. But I don't want to be a liar. And so when things are cool and objectively cool, I celebrated. I just really struggle, uh to a pre she hat certain individuals no matter what.

I respect that. Yeah. Yeah, and there's some people, no matter what they do, I won't like it.

Now.

I'm just not gonna be a fan. And that's okay.

And if you're listening, you too. I hate people on social media. We have to shut up. There's a guy and you hate his face and you hate when he talks.

And there and listen. And this is also important to note inside of this, there are good people who I hate. It's not at This isn't a moral conversation, and I think that's where we sometimes conflate some of these these issues where you go like, oh, such and such is good, therefore I need to celebrate them. No, my nigga, you can hate them. You can just be like I don't like that. You don't have to you don't have to hurt them, you don't have to make it a public conversation.

Yeah, man, there's so many people on paper, the good to bad ratio great people, far greater than I will ever be. Listen, come on, I haven't I haven't fucking volunteered for anything other than it being court ordered. In my life, I don't even really help people move like that.

But and we thank god those orders were made by the court.

Yeah, I really learned a lesson. Uh, but yeah, you can. You can think that just somebody's a good guy, you they're what they do could be bad and you know what other side I'm on clearly have stated it on this podcast time and time again a lot of times, when somebody's a bad guy, their shit's great.

Yeah, yes, I agree. I'm a little scared the train we're going down, But I don't say any names. But yeah, thank god, but I do. I one hundred percent agree that there are some evil motherfuckers that are making some brilliant, brilliant stuff. And that is also a challenge of the game that we're in the middle of.

Even just even just in casual conversation, you ever talked with the guy that you know or girl who you know is bad, great, charming, funny, makes you feel like the world and they're a goddamn devil. Yeah, and you talk to a good person kind of flat.

I talked to some good people and I'm like, that's the worst conversation I've ever had in my life. Come on, I don't ever want to be alone with them ever again. And I know that they're a good, pure person.

The purity is what turns me on.

The purity is what makes it's what makes it taste so bad, because to.

Be truly good, you have to believe. And that's my problem. I don't believe in shit, lie, no flags, my family, I love a few things. The rest of it, I think it's all doomed. I was just watching this sports documentary on the Florida University of Florida, the Gators, and they're talking about Herban Meyer had to sit there and we believed and we put it to the max every day and people and I.

Was like, yeah, no, psychopaths, behavior, what are you talking about?

You're the problem? You know. The problem with all this is that within this discourse, no one can tell what's side we are on.

That's that is the issue. That's that's why I said. I I was like, I'm nervous where this is going because then people start to go like, oh, well, are they bad guys or are they good guys, and and that's not really the point.

No.

I think, if anything, we're just right down the middle. Baby, we're going a bit everything.

If I had to put numbers on, I'd say seventy thirty.

One of us is seventy one of us is thirty.

No, that's.

No.

I'm within myself. It's good.

That's bad.

Yeah, sometimes I cut in line. Sometimes I steal ship from seven to eleven if it's taking.

I can't even tell you all the bad stuff I do because I'm planning to keep you in this in this game with me, you know what I mean?

Insane? That was just the top surface stuff.

Let the subpoenas speak for themselves. I myself and not when.

They release the tapes, that's when all.

That's when you know what your boy is into. We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are now selling and it's fucking great. We love it so much.

Just sleek, it's sexy.

Come on, you want to tell them what we have?

Yeah? We have three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have the enamel pin with an alien who has a cooofie on it since my mama told me. And then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is who you are.

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Also. I think there's something to be said and go with me on this. I think there's something to be said for someone just having poor instincts. I am not a bad man, No, I think you're a guy. Sometimes have bad men instincts. Okay, So when something happens, I have my gut and then I have to sit and filter it through what I know about the world and to be true, and then I act accordingly. But because of whatever, maybe it's genetics, Maybe I was alone too much as a kid, you know what I mean. I

Yeah, Olivia really wants you to press the very good bad boy.

I can't find it.

Hold on, I actually am one point for because that's not it. You you fucking blew it.

Let's just start podcasting.

No, but I get you. I I you are somebody, and I don't think i'm speaking out a turn here. You are somebody who You're one of the last people who's gonna make the night end. Like, if the night is going and people are doing shit, you're always gonna be like, hell yeah, I'm gonna keep going. I'm gonna keep doing shit with y'all. And I think that your instinct is never to correct whatever the decision is for

You know how many times I've had some guys show me his gun when I just thought we were gonna have more fun. Yeah right, I'm thinking a three in my head, right.

Yeah, man, I thought we was gonna keep laughing at YouTube videos in that way way.

Or also just me thinking something was funny and then finding out that somebody takes it seriously and then having the backtrack and be like, oh no, no, I don't think they're ruining our country or whatever.

Oh boy, I thought we were riffing fellas. I didn't know this was real politics anything.

Blame my commitment to the big.

Yeah. No, it's it's tough. Is really The point is, it's it's a tough thing to be on good and I don't even know that that's that should be the goal of what it means to be a real human being on this earth.

It's not real. That's the nature man.

Yeah.

That being said, congratulations on being a father twice over. I think your son will be a great person.

Listen, I'm gonna play him this episode first, before I even start the conversations about morality. I'm gonna say, Son, we're not starting with church. You listen to this episode where David and I sort of admit that we're evil, and then we'll have a conversation about what it means to be a good person.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I do want to. I don't think I if it comes down to, like, that's one good thing about the night ending in the ways that it's in. I know, up against the wall, I do the right thing. Yeah, it's really all you guys.

Yeah, No, I'm I'm being joking. I'm silly when I say, uh, Evil, evil is a weighted turn. I'm a fan of Evil, but I'm not an evil person. I would say I like some of the moves it makes. I think Evil is a great dancer. Come on, if Evil hold out that hand, I go, Nah, Evil, that's not really I can't keep up with you. But right just know I'm watching you on the dance floor. This isn't because I'm not attracted to you, Evil, I just can't.

Also, I'm flattered. I'm slattered.

I'm shy, but I'm flattered.

Go on Twitter, that's not true. I just I don't I think that Like, if you had to pick a dance for good and a dance for Evil, I don't think Good would pick.

No, But I think Good would pick like the I think Good wants us to believe it would pick the fox Trot. And I think that's a lie, you know what I mean. Like, I think that's the issue with the people who are like who seem to be one hundred percent good all the time, is they're trying to convince me that the fox trot is the best dance. And it's like, I get it. I get it. Everybody stays respectful and at a good distance with a fox trot. But it sucks. It fucking sucks.

Rules And if you were to open your heart up, you would know that everybody likes it.

Everybody likes it.

Like people don't like maybe the way that it makes them think or the way that they perceive. They feel like they will be grouped by it. But just as a body movement is, how do you not? How is that not amazing?

What they don't like is what it implies about them in liking it, you know what I mean? Like it's always this sort of like self analysis and looking at the thing and not knowing how to see themselves as who they are and enjoy it. And the truth is removing yourself from that level of like judgment is what allowing other people to exist is.

And I'm not I'm not trying to I'm not trying to put anybody down. I do that all the time. You know, how should I enjoy that? I hate that I enjoy? I wish I didn't like remote control boats. I see what I see what people's faces do when I bring it up. I've told women before, and I've told women about that. It's disgusting but I have to love myself enough to be like, no, I want to go to the park and run these boats.

Yeah, I get it. Man, alright, alright, we're all.

Sick, is the boy?

Yeah we did it. Do you want to tell the people where they can find you on what cool shit you have going on?

Cool guy jokes eighty seven on Instagram, Patreon, dot com, backslash David Bori for I'm putting up a lot of fun interviews, a lot of back behind the scenes type content on the lead up to my special Birth of a Nation.

Come on the Patreon as always. You can follow me at Langston Carman on all social media platforms. In August twentieth, go to Netflix watch my special bad Poetry, and if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, you can send it all to Mymama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you by the merch like subscribe, rate, review a rebate, do it all and believe in yourselves. We love you and we hate you at the same goddamn time. By bitch, stay.

Off the damn wee.

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