Destiny's Surrogate (with Joyelle Johnson)

there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove that Wendy Williams plastic surgery was not made from her own skin, but instead from the dead cheek meat of Louis Armstrong. That's right. That's not a BBL, Ladies and gentlemen, that is an SBL, a sachemal butt lift. And I am going to do everything I can to prove that to

be true. I did you know sometimes I come up with these, uh, these introductions, and they are clever, and they are with him. This one feels like a weird reach, and I'm I'm desperate, folks, I'm running out of black people to make fun of and and accused of doing horrible things out in the world. But you know that's I think that's a symptom of doing this for as long as I've done it. And and I won't apologize to pieces of Ship. You'll get what you get, That's

what I always say. You know who won't get what she gets? She gets better than what what she gets. I don't know what this means, but she is fantastic. It's my guest today, My god damn test today is lovely. She's wonderful, she is hilarious, she's all the all the affirmations that one would want to have and give to another person. She's great and and you know her work. She has a brand new comedy special called love Joy. It's on Peacock. You need to go watch that. Ships

so funny. And she has an album out called Yell Joy, and that's available everywhere, not just Peacock. So you know you ain't gotta go searching as hard as you probably do when you go looking for ship on Peacock. Anyway, She's give it up for my guest miss Joy l John Stay. Oh my goodness, I'm just so happy right now. I'm smiling cheek to cheek, like just the epitome of black boy Joy. I'm loving watching you nerd out. This is so fantastic. Yes, this is the work that I do.

This is this is why I leave my baby uh to go to your minute to go Accuse Wendy Williams of digging up a dead man's grave so that she could change her body. Yeah, I mean I want to put it past her. She's a Jersey girl. We could be quite ruthless at times. Hey, who cares if it's up for grabs. But look, before we get into the conspiracy theory, this is actually I'm truly just curious. Where do you stand in the whole Wendy of it all? Are you? Are you a Wendy fan? Do you do

you subscribe to to the Wendy verse? I am a Wendy stand Okay. I grew up in New Jersey, and when she was on the radio in New Jersey, she was that chick like me, and my mother used to listen to her in the car. My mother loved talk radio and I would beg for her to play music so our our compromise was listening to Wendy Williams. So, I mean when the when the Windy Houston interview came out, like all when all those things came out, we were listening to it in the car, like what the hell

it's going on? And when she got her show, like that's me and my mom's thing. We watch it together. Oh man. Well, we feel very differently about Manby Williams in my household, but I respect that I'm from so you know, and I totally get it. I mean, she is absolutely ridiculous, but I loves yes, absolute monster. I will I will claim that, and I love it. I'm like the people who love Kanye. I get it, okay and get it. I can see that that we we all have a person. We dig our heels in four

and we're like, no, I don't, I don't care. Yeah, we can go back on tour sure. And that's how I feel about Join Maxwell. I love her work. No, I'm joking. This is the out of get Canceled podcast. I will say that that the Windy interview that she did with Judge Mathis remains one of the funniest things that I I've ever seen, just him calling her a crackhead, her admitting to be a crackhead, but then also being like, but you're still like cheating on your wife and like

a bad guy, like you're not, dude. Yeah, That's why I love her so much because she's was honest. Like That's why I love George Carlin, because he's like, I did drugs. This is who I am. That's why I never trusted Bill Cosby because he told someone not to curse, and I was like, you're telling other people not to curse. That was weird to me as a child. And how about also don't rape? But it was a cussing that got you up board though, come on, man, So I

love how honest she is. All right, well, I'm learning a lot today, joe Yale. But you know what, we we don't have time to talk Wendy all day because you came with a conspiracy theory that's gonna get a lot of bridges burned. It's gonna upset a lot of folks out in the world. We've done, We've done an episode or two about this this lady, but none is I'm not I would argue none no topics as provocative as the one that you've chosen today. You said, my

mama told me Beyonce was never pregnant. Uh. Yeah. I mean when I saw that on the list of conspiracy theories, it absolutely jumped out to me because I was like, oh, that's something I truly believe. That's something I truly believe. I am not so certain that she delivered Blue Ivy. And here's the thing about it. It's okay. It's okay because I know a lot of women who have had miscarriages. That's what I think happened. I think she had a miscarriage and then maybe had a surrogate involved and was

able to deliver the baby. Because black women, the statistics in this country of our pregnancy terrible. Serena William's almost died giving birth. It's like not easy for us. So my evidence was that one interview she did where she sat down and her summing dancing in. I said, girl, that is an absolute prosthetic because the way she sat down. You know, you've you've met a pregnant woman recently, I

met one. You've met one when they are that pregnant in the third trimester, They're not sitting down ask first like that. Frankly, my wife did stop sitting down at a certain point and would just sort of fall backwards and hope that something was there to catch her, you know what I mean. Like there wasn't a careful sitting as much as just a desperate wanting for comfort, a PLoP down. And I have a huge family. I people call me the baby whisper. I'm amazing with baby. Well

you can have mine, keep going. I will ship the baby over. And I know pregnant women and pregnant women in the third trimester just don't go to sit down like that. And when the stomach caved in, I was like, that makes sense. And it's just a fun, delicious conspiracy theory. It's just so fun and meaty. I like a good conspiracy theory. I hold a few. Okay, well, well first let's just start by saying it's fun now until the hive comes for you. But that's that's hey, enjoy yourself.

You have an hour and a half freedom and then eventually everything is gonna be canceled for you, and that's that's where you'll be at. And I'm just gonna say this to the hive. I love your leader, I really do. We were born the same year the same month, both virgos. I love your leader. I think she's amazing. I think she did give birth to the twins. I think that she worked her as through a pregnancy and did you know everything she's done in that moment when she sat

down in that interview Homegrow when one pregnant. So you're you're saying a few things that I think are are really important here that that we we gotta dig into. So number one, let's let's clarify for our listeners. The interview you're referring to. She went on a A morning Noah's an evening talk show. Excuse me, Australia's Sunday Night is what it was called. And Beyonce goes to do this interview while pregnant with in theory Blue Ivy allegedly pregnant.

She sits down and as she sits down, Number one, what you're explaining is she sits down in a way that doesn't feel like a person who would be as pregnant as she appears to be. And then on top of that, in sitting down, her stomach seems to sort of avalanche into itself. It sort of becomes concave. Pick second, come on, and then pops back out. Uh, you know, like a coke bottle you squeeze too hard, And that then launched the conspiracy theory that we're talking to and spend.

I think it's been years of people continuously accusing her of having falsified her pregnancy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And and it's interesting because I feel like there's a lot of shame with the potential thought that I had of her having a surrogate. For some reason, that's shameful for women these days, are friend Chell, butoh was able to have surrogate and she's open about it because, you know, been very articulate about her experience. Yis, Yeah, because women need

to understand that. But it's kind of like, you know, I just I just I just wish she would be able to be honest about it. You know, that would be cool for me if Beyonce was just like, Yo, this is what I did. The other part that I think is really interesting and sort of what you presented, because they're the phrasing of it as we presented. It may not even be the correct phrasing that you believe, because at least in your argument, you believe she had

a miss ariage, so she was pregnant. It just wasn't that she took that baby to full terms. I think what you're arguing, yes, I believe this is in my educated guest hypothesis brain, and that she actually was pregnant in that moment that that MTV Video Music Awards where she like rubbed her belly and she was all happy. I think in that moment she was pregnant, and then maybe something bad happened and then she was able to

have the baby through a surrogate. However, in that moment in that video, I do not believe she was pregnant. And there's timelines. I mean, she works so hard, she works so hard, she works so hard, and to do that fully pregnant. I mean Catherine Zeita Jones, she taped Chicago while she was pregnant, and it was fully pregnant at the Academy Awards that year. That's crazy to do. Pregnant women need to sit down. Yeah. That and and to your point, not the way you're sitting Beyonce, Hey, hey,

learn your lesson. You sit different, girl. You gotta get into the character fully. The amount of sort of like tax that gets put on a pregnant woman's body just by by existing in the world is a fuck hunt like that. You are exhausted just walking, just doing basic everyday things. And the fact that Beyonce continued to be Beyonce the entire time that she was allegedly pregnant means that she was putting triple to quadruple the amount of

tax that the average woman is putting on her body. Now, maybe she's just that capable, or maybe you did a little too much. The baby was lost and instead of just taking that il, you opted to find a different solution to said problem. And this is in no way shaming anyone. This is in no way saying anything is anyone's fault here. These are just things that happen in nature. You know. There's there's women that have done less, you know,

and had miscarriages, happened things like that. So there's like, not no mockery here. I just do not believe in that video. In that video. Yeah, So so when Beyonce is rubbing her belly at the v M as you're bought in, You're like, hell, yeah, Queen Bee's pregnant, We're we're doing this, and then it's the video that breaks you or is there something in between okay, And then do you become and this is this is where I

think all of conspiracy theory gets fascinating. Do you then become like a person on the street waving a fucking flag telling people about this or you just sort of like, yo, I'm gonna keep this to myself. I'm a mama fucking business. But that ain't no goddamn baby inside belly. Listen, I'm sometimes grassroots with my conspiracy theories, with my gossip. I love to have conversations with people. It's it's a fun dinner conversation to have just bust out with, hey, we

never landed on the moon. It's just fun to see how other people feel about this. Is one of those when you're like, you know, you're in a room full of gaze, Hey, guys, was Beyonce pregnant? And then the room just erupts into gossip and chatty of things we can't necessarily tweet. Yeah, you don't want to take this to the inner webs? You you you want to keep this in a in a dinner party setting. Yes, yes, I mean it's bold enough to even put it out of the podcast. Hello be Hive, you guys are amazing.

I love how you rally around. Please don't come from me. But if you do, watch the special and uh, if you're gonna come for joy, l at least come for her. In the comments on Peacock, I assume Peacock has some section that they allow you to say hateful things there and put little bumble bees. Do that ship there. Don't do it on miscellaneous places that don't benefit her streams exactly. Yes, put a whole bunch of bees. Bees are cool. Hell yeah, we funk with bees. Uh, put them under me? Love

joy on Peacock. That's my advertising voice. Okay, I love it. So you aren't sold on Beyonce being pregnant. I guess my question And this is where I've always sort of been fascinated with this conspiracy theory story, all of it. Why what what do you think the motivation is here? Like, what is the the ultimate goal on her in to keep this part of it private? Because to your point,

she could have been groundbreaking in this situation. She could have been a leader and really like broken this whole thing open and said I am the one who's going to start this whole surrogate game off. In terms of like certainly celebrity culture in mon contemporary celebrity culture. I'm sure it's happened before this. Yeah, you know that that whole black Woman's Superman superwoman thing that we have to be superheroes at all times with everything. You can't cry,

we can't show any vulnerability. So it's like, if I am and I am this magnificent being, I should also be able to do the most feminine thing possible, which is having a baby, right, you know, And I feel like society puts that shame on us. I mean that's

why I'm such an advocate for women's reproductive rights. I think we need to talk about it on all stages of the platform, and like having a surrogacy, having IVF, needing help to get pregnant, things like that are things we need to be able to discuss more because it happens to so many women. Right, So you're saying that that Beyonce in particular is because of the way that she's sort of been elevated socially, there's no chance of

her showing this level of sort of like honesty. Yeah, and weakness almost seems like an unfair word because to your point, it is so common that it should just be the way that we we talk about what this journey is that Like, you know, even with my wife and I, it took us a year to be able to get pregnant. It's not it's not always like an easy process. And that's not a reflection of health or capability or care or love or any of those things.

It truly is just human bodies are weird and fucked up, and sometimes ours don't do the things we asked them to do. And so you're saying Beyonce just isn't in a position to be able to show that vulnerability, even though it is so much the human experience. Yeah, I mean I kind of feel like if you're going to the extent of putting a prosthetic stomach on for an interview, that is an ability to be like, let's just not deal with it, which is another reason why I'm a

huge advocate therapy. Everyone we gotta deal with our stuff, and it's tough to deal with stuff in the open. But when you're a public figure, you know it is you know, you do what you do, but everybody's not able. I mean, how old was she at that point? She was still in her early thirties, right, Yeah, I mean Blue Blue Ives what twenty nine now, so she was in Yeah, Blue Ives. You know, Blue ivees out. You're running a fortune at this point, so basically a purchase

both of us. I just feel like, right now we forty. So it's like, Okay, a forty year old person would be able to be more open about something like that versus a thirty year old you know. And I will say that that even more to that point, Beyonce has gone through uh, sort of a renaissance, if you will, in terms of her her openness and transparency as a

human being. That for years she was sort of a bit of a robot, a stilted human being who sort of went out and danced and saying, but we never really got a much of a look behind the curtain as to who this person is. And then through the years she has slowly become more and more a person who's like, at least willing to show a level of vulnerability as much as a person who was built that way can at least look, it looks exhausting to be Beyonce. I'm gonna be honest, I don't care for one bit.

I'll be I'll be real. I would much rather be Rihanna. That bitch looks like she have fun. Oh my god. I was in I was in a hallway while she was in a room smoking some weed, and I was just wanting to be in her presence. She's cool as ship. Yeah, but she just she does what she wants, She wears what she wants. That when they ask your questions, she gives the answer that popped in her head, not the one that like is six chess moves ahead of wherever

she might get in trouble. Pageant answer, Yeah, the pageant answer. She's Rocky. We could all, we'd all enjoy fucking asap Rocky. That's a beautiful man, It's it's all. It's all going well for who sap Rocky? Who wouldn't want to fuck a sap Rocky? Except for those Swedish people that he fist fought? Name the episode that who wouldn't want to fuck a sap Rocky? This episode about Beyonce is called

who Wouldn't want to? I love that. Let me ask you this question because I do think that this is we're we're talking about this, this transparency, this vulnerability that Beyonce isn't able to show back. Then do you think there's a world now where she could come forward and say, hey, y'all, remember back when I was pregnant and I wasn't. I wasn't, and I think it's it's better for us to now know a different truth in this. Can Beyonce I do that or does she have to just keep going with

this the story that she's built. I believe Beyonce can do whatever she wants because she is one of those Negroes that has I say negro that has like exalted herself. She's exalted and it's like she can honestly pretty much do no wrong at this point, which is a very pageant existence where it's like she always says the right thing her Her publicity gets her ugly photos off the

internet like stuff like that. So if she was to be like this is Beyonce being vulnerable, go, I think she could completely because she'd have a whole team construct the press relief and the interview with Oprah and when she's gonna cry and it to be like she'd have a whole team and they could freaking change the world with that ship. They would heal so many women. Damn. That's heavy because it it also would mean and maybe

you you feel this as an artist. I think there's something beautiful about that, right that like she could she could liberate in a sense, so many people from like this this uh sadness, this frustration with what it means to lose a child or to not be able to

get pregnant, blah blah blah blah blah. But then there's the other hard part about it, which is once you become the face of some ship, you you are the face of some ship, and you can't then walk other decisions backwards or you have to explain every decision you make in relation to that thing that you decided you were going to be the face stuff. I think it depends on the person, you know, because I'm I'm fine

with you know, I work in abortion rights. I'm fine with that being somebody thinking about me and thinking about abortion. I'm fine with that. But I feel like Beyonce has done so much that she that would just be an aspect of you know whoa this crazy of something Beyonce did. But also you know, single ladies. Yeah, it's tough. It's it's hard to predict because it makes me think about

like Jesse Williams, right, we love Jesse Williams. For the three years that Jesse Williams was married to a black lady and saying all the right things about black liberation and and what we need to do as a community. He was, Oh, he was our beautiful blue eyed speaker of the black house. And then this nigger had an affair or and not. I don't even know if he

had an affair. Frankly, I know for I know for certain that he and his wife went through a a tumultuous period, broke up, and then Jesse very quickly found himself in the arms oh white woman, but then also other women. But that was enough for the Internet to then decide that everything that this man had earned was was now exempt because he because he wasn't good to his black queen. And it's like, that's not how that

should work. The nigga was still spinning bars. He he just got some sign pussy and that's that's neither here nor there. I mean from the female perspective, Look, dude, and he's talking all that ship and then do some basic nigga ship. That's some basic bit ship. He did like you you coming and went in with this exaltation.

You don't have to do all that, you can also be fallible and and know that, Hey, I'm saying all this tough ship, but also I am a fallible nigga, because then when you come out with that level of fallibility, it's like, come on, man, but he's a black ship. He's a blue eyed angel, do you know what I mean? Like, what was he supposed to do? Have a regular you know what I mean, just cheat with like some regular Schmegenler person. No, he's gonna go he's been with this

woman all these years. He's gonna go do some wild ship. So like, I I get what you're saying, but it's like this motherfucker's going the route that them them gorgeous little you know docs in his face allow him to go, Yeah, they are dots, They're beautiful, beautiful dots. And I would look, I'm happy. I've never really met him. So he walked past me at a party once. I was like, Okay, I get it. Yeah, just all it is, you get it. As long as you get it, then we can get it,

we can forget. And I don't envy it. I don't want to be in that level of like humongous stuff happening. And then when you make one mess up, everyone's against you. I like, I want to be a sidekick, No, for sure. I I've thought about this a lot, and I don't think given what I do, I'm ever interested in becoming the champion of anybody's version of social justice. And that's not a lack of care. It's not a lack of want for empowering and bettering situations for for the people

around me. But I still want to be funny. I still want to be problematic. I still want to be able to talk my ship. And the second that I go and stand on somebody's soapbox, I am no longer able to talk the same ship that I was talking before, and Papa can't have that. I need you know, Papa, don't take no mess. I feel the same way about abortion because I can be a stand for abortion because abortion checks be messy. Sometimes you're not expecting I'm messy, bro,

abortion people right, I drink bitch. I've read that on this one outside of playing their biorhood, you know. Basically, that's why we hear. I love that. All right, We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more joy Johnson and more. My mama told me and we need are bad Kenny Lendon nigga a pencil. Yeah, we're back here with more Joy Johnson more. My mama told me.

We're still talking about Beyonce and the possibility that she was only uh pregnant at a point and then not pregnant anymore with a young Blue Ivy and Blue Ivy in fact maybe a born of a surrogate. Do you think Blue Ivy knows? Do you think that they've covered it up so much that they they've even tricked Blue Ivy into keeping into being unaware of this secret it? Or is it like Blue Ivy knows but they've trained her to shut the funk up about it. I don't

know what's going on in that house. Um, it seems like they wouldn't tell her, but didn't The Internet is exists, and you know the kid has a phone, But then I wouldn't even put it above them to have like a special phone and a person who controls what she sees on her phone. Like they can. They have all the money, they can do whatever they want to do, so I wouldn't be surprised Ivy wouldn't know if she

was adopted, if they didn't want her to know. Yeah, that's and that's the that's that power that that being a billionaire has. I guess is that, like you know, most of us we access the Internet, but the motherfucker's they have control over h and at least a corner of it. And I'm sure that corner is the corner that they got Blue Ivy sort of tapped into. Yes, they say, on Beyonce's Internet. That's what people say. You didn't come on Beyonce's Internet. On Beyonce's Internet. Beyonce had that.

Other parts of the Internet, it's up for grabs, but Beyonce's Internet, that baby came out her body. Yes, Okay, let's jump into some of this research because I do think some of this, if nothing else, is going to help clarify some of the potential holes in the story

that is Beyonce a giving birth to Blue Ivy. So the rumors of Blue Ivy or excuse me, a Beyonce not in fact being pregnant technically started August two eleven at that wonderful performance at the v M A S where Beyonce does a bunch of dances and and sings a bunch of songs, and then right at the end, pops her jacket open, rubs her belly, and we all go, hey, hey, wait a minute, that's a that's a goddamn baby in there.

And she smiled and jay Z cheered and Kanye rubbed his back and they are still friends back then, So it was all a beautiful moment that none of us could have predicted would ever go awry. You know, remember when it was they were best friends, watched the Throne was out. It was a beautiful time. Such a great album. Great album. However, this happens in August. In September, she does an interview after where she claimed that she was due in February, which technically at that point would have

made her four months pregnant at the VMA's. But then for the video shoot for Countdown, which was one of the songs on the album that she was releasing as a pregnant lady, she claimed that she was six months pregnant, which means and that video shoot was basically shot within the same month of the VMA's and that would have made her five months on the v m A stage and ultimately would have actually turned into the correct math for Blue I V January seventh, do day if that

makes sense. So Beyonce went from being four months pregnant to six months pregnant in a single month by her own explanation, which some claim this faulty math is reflective of her trying to create an illusion around her pregnancy. Wow, I've never I've never even dug this deep. Again, this is why my family make it worth Why, yeah, you don't. You don't leave your family to to dig with one of them plastic shovels. You gotta get in with the

medal joint and put your hell. Yeah, but I'd love to hear your thoughts in relation to this mischief around the months. Do you think that this at this point is something in fact mischievous or do you think this was just a an error of a woman who didn't graduate from high school whoa, yeah, we go, let's turn all the way up. That's hilarious because they're Okay, there are some pregnant women who are not on top of

their days. However, I know most pregnant women that I know are like, I am one hundred and twenty two days pregnant because of the fact that they are like, get this thing out of me, you know, and they get this thing out of me starts in the first trimester with morning sickness and you know, back inches or whatever, your feet growing, like all that stuff that happens in

each trimester. So it is interesting because I was wondering at what point would she have been showing, And a lot of women aren't showing in that first trimester, but they're a pop happens in the second, as I'm sure you experienced with your beautiful woman, lady wife, lady maam. Yeah, and that's what I call her at home woman, lady wife, woman, lady ma'am. But but that said, one of the things that that I found because we we went and shot

pause during during the time that Nikki was pregnant. I left when she was not showing and then went and shot in New York for a month and a half, and by the time I got back, she fully had like a big, gass baby in there. And so there is a a sort of weird window where a baby starts to basically just grow exponentially, but before then they're just kind of like a little seed of a human being.

And so in that way, four months is not necessarily indicative of being able to to show that you are pregnant always and so to the point, maybe that's a there's a possibility that by that point she was pregnant, but she had to add a little extra to that bad boy to make it, to make it show, to

make it, make it show. Yeah, sometimes that happens. And it's so funny because like the women that I have known, and I actually was pregnant around the end of the second the third, the first trimester is when you know, the pants you have trouble buttoning the pants, so that would be you know, and then then the pop will happen a couple of months later. But I definitely got to the point where I couldn't button the pants as well, So,

you know, it is interesting and that timeline is so interesting. Also, you know, Blue, you could have come a couple of months early. I mean a couple of weeks, a couple of months. That's that's rough. Although in studying this ship, technically I think babies can be born as early as twenty five weeks in, which is fifteen weeks early and still survive. It is challenging. They are more than likely going to have issues sort of in their DIVI because

the lungs are the last thing to develop. It makes things complicated for the baby, but it is possible to survive months ahead of your quote unquote do date. Yeah, my little cousin was thirteen weeks early and she was a pound in nine ounces and had to say, yeah, she was so tiny and her mom couldn't even touch her for the first I think two months she was in the hospital, So I definitely know that as well. Well, my baby is uh, it's too big. My baby is

too big. So you know, let's find a balance here, kids, let's all, let's all just agree to come out the regular size that makes every parent comfortable and uh feel comfortable sleeping at night. So here's where this countdown video and v m A video timeline gets even more complicated because she is clearly showing in the countdown video right

she's we can see her pregnant belly. But then she also shot the video for Party the song featuring j Cole, although the Andre three thousand song is better, she shot that same video earlier in that month, and that video she is not showing, so within that month theoretically came to be showing in in a few weeks post Party pre v m A and then somehow maintained it through countdown and got a month more pregnant or some some math is not mathing in this situation, Dude, Internet se

best man will. I will put them on any case if I need something solved, get the Internet sluice on it.

That is amazing. Yeah, it's It gets even more weird because similarly, she went on vacation to Croatia the week after the v M as there's this this picture, this sort of now somewhat infamous picture of her and jay Z and Croatia where she's wearing a bikini and she is she's got a little more belly than we're used to for Beyonce, but it's not the same type of showing that we saw on the v M A stage.

And this is after the VMA, so again there's a complicated math happening here where a lady still kind of has abs and also it's poking out and it's like a bitch that that just might be a little too much to Zeekee sauce. That's not necessarily a baby. Also, I have practiced it before, and I think most girls have. You can push your stomach out to make yourself look a level of pregnant we've all done it before, a little fantasies in the mirror as children, so you can

make yourself look a level of pregnant. And she was showing in the MS a little push out and and fellas you can do it too, believe in yourselves, poke those bellies out. We're still not challenge that the little Nasa child, the little Nasax challenge one am my hotel, my kids. I don't know. I did just let the gay boy live. I don't know how about that he's gay child? All right. So here's here's where things get even more fascinating because all of this math is is

sort of like complicated. But and you know, for a while everybody is accusing Beyonce faking it blah blah blah blah blah. But the day that Beyonce went to well, let me not skip ahead, because I think some of this is actually better in the order that I have it.

I was trying to stay chronological, but we're gonna do a little bit of a time skip here because most people one of the the sort of grounding arguments that a lot of people make with Beyonce not actually delivering the child that she claimed to have delivered it is the fact that we've never seen Beyonce in any version of pregnancy that wasn't three to six months type pregnant. In that those earlier stages of pregnancy, we're not even really seeing a full baby bump with the blue ivy

of it all. It was more just sort of like the soft bump, the belly pokes, all the things that you're referring to. And so years and years went by everybody saying she never had this baby. And then in two years after all of these accusations started, Beyonce released an HBO documentary Maybe Remember It Life Is But a Dream,

where she finally showed a number of pregnancy photos. But again, those pregnancy photos she showed, we're all very early stage pregnancy and could have easily been gas from too much. To Zeke Sauce, do you have issues with taziki? So there there are sponsored we're sponsored by to Siky. Get that white cream in your food and enjoy. They wrote it. I'm just reading the stuff they wrote. That's one of those words I never really know how to say. To

Zeke Coanga Boulevard. Yeah, I mean, you are just making it even more interesting now. I didn't even know all of these timeline, Yes, so it seems to me that these life is but a dream and sort of this reveal of these pregnancy photos was was in part driven by a want for Beyonce too correct these sort of rumors that had been floating around out in the universe, right, and she even went as far to address, which is

a rare thing for Beyonce. She she never addresses her rumors directly in most cases, but in the case of this pregnancy thing, she even went out of her way to say that she thought that these rumors were were crazy and that what would dry. She respects pregnant women too much to sort of like make light of the work that they do and sort of like the the beauty of the the experience. So she went in and said some shit about this, which is not the way

Beyonce behaves. Wow, she's like, listen to me, listen, who's pregnant. Goddamnit? He said, I didn't funk that, bitch, I'll kill you. That is amazing. I mean, Also, thou dost protest too much? Drute, We're doing a lot here. Once again, like I said, if she's gonna do something, she's going to have a team. There's going to be you know, documentary is gonna be a dramatic reading, poetry, music underneath the words, crying photos.

She doesn't. She's the best and so and that's where where I think the Beyonce of it all gets so complicated, right, is that like there isn't our meant to be made? That maybe she just saved these photos because to your point, she's a she's a woman of of gravitas, right, she enjoys the entire spectacle of it. So she wants these photos to be special. She wants to keep her privacy. There's a lot of arguments to be made. But on the ground floor, we're asking to see these pictures. You

ain't showing it to us. And then two years later, the best you can come up with is your belly button poking out a little bit, and that ain't quite enough to justify the weight. I mean, we could all photoshop a picture, like we know some talented photoshoppers that I know, teenagers that can photoshop a picture to make you look pregnant. So um sure, okay, uh, if that's your ministry, let's get even messier with this whole thing.

All right, here's where it's even messier is that on the day of the baby's delivery, beyond saying, jay Z paid one point three million dollars to secure and redecorate the entire fourth floor of the Nick You wing of Manhattan's Lenox Hill Hospital, they removed all doctors and staff at a certain point, and even taped over security cameras. Moreover, at least one woman has come forward claiming to be

Beyonce surrogate. Wow, I like how you said, and also the answer, Well, I don't know if this is the answer. Let me be clear. The main person who's come forward claiming to be Beyonce, Sarah be claiming to be the quote unquote real carrier of Blue Ivy, also claimed to be the legal mother of Northwest Prince George and all three of Michael Jackson's kids. You better listen. If you are going to have a full psychotic episode, make let it go deep. I like a delusion of grand jury.

That's amazing because I think jay Z and Beyonce are good business people and they're gonna pay the people to keep the secrets. Yeah, I've heard she doesn't pay her dancers. However, Hey, you're getta pay people you want to keep the secrets the dancers are, you're doing them a favorite secrets and dance? Will you do it all up? And please? And so I yeah, I believe they would pay those people very

well to sign a simple nondisclosure agreement. Sure. And and what's fascinating again is being is removing the entire staff from this area when you know it's an entire floor. There's no possibility that it's not like this is a rotating door. These doctors easily could have just been blocked from the area, but they were like, no, we can't risk the possibility that anybody can be seen coming in or out, which means that they have something a little

bigger to hide. And maybe the bigger thing was just we don't want people to know what our baby looks like. But having seen enough newborns, the motherfucker's ain't distinguishable. You don't see a new born. They could have stolen my baby at the hospital and I wouldn't have known the difference the whole. One of my favorite movies, Big Business, from the eighties, is about people not knowing what new boards look like. Now you can get switched at birth.

They're all just fattened and tired, they're not doing nothing. Here's my favorite part of the woman who claims to be all of these people's mother. My favorite part. Her name is Tina Seals. And one of the things that Tina Seals says, specifically in relation to the Kanye West of it all. Remember she claims to be the mother of Northwest. She went out to say that she was willing to forego any financial settlement with Kanye West if he agreed to a record deal for her twenty two

year old son. Look, you gotta put cards on the table. Yeah, I want you to want something. If you are coming out with these statement, I want you to want something. I don't want it to just be like, hey, I just wanted to let everyone know no, Kanye, I would like money and a deal. That's a great point. And that was my issue with that lady who said Ussher gave her her pies, was like, what's your goal here, bitch? I'm I'm cool with you coming forward and accused an

Usher of giving you herpies. I believe Usher has herpies, But what's the goal? What are we doing here? Like? Where do you benefit from this? Now? We just all think you got hurt pies exactly exactly. And that's where like a lot of the women you know come out and say things have happened to them in the Me too movement, people will be like, oh, but they did

it to get to get what? Yeah? What? Like I want to know what these people have gotten that has been so Great's getting out all these tweet grape pie fives, you know what I mean? Like this, these are horrible experiences they're describing, and you guys are being like, yeah, but they're gonna sit front row at the Lakers game. This is fun, right. It's like, no, there's no bitifits here, dog,

no benefits, no benefits. I can't even get. And that's why I'm like, Okay, if you sleep with a dude and you get a television show, like you're talking about the casting couch, I might be interested in the casting couch. If a contract is next to the couch. Yeah, I have had sex for way less, right, but we signed this contract. I'm not just having sex with you with the hopes no one day you'll give me an audition. I gotta get casted first. Then I'll suck that dick.

You know. There we go. So there are three things that I think we we would be remiss not to cover before we go to break because we've talked about some of the more messy details of the entire pregnancy. But what is the motive we're talking about motive now in terms of all of this stuff. And the question is what would be Beyonce's motive for sort of either faking this pregnancy or changing the the circumstances of of her baby's birth. And so I I've collected a few

different motives that I would love to unpack with you now. Um, there are some people who claim that part of the motive that happened here, and this sounds similar to the one that you described, is that Beyonce may have faced fertility issues right that she she struggled with fertility, she wasn't able to keep the baby the way that she planned,

and subsequently who turned to a surrogate. That then also might explain why in her second pregnancy Beyonce and jay Z have twins, which twins often are the result of medical intervention to help with women who are struggling with pregnancy. Two And basically, once you start adding all kinds of medications, chemicals ship into people's bodies, the body over produces and

sometimes produces twins. That said twins do not seem based on the research that I've done to run in either Beyonce or jay Z's family, which suggests these twins either came out of nowhere and God blessed y'all, or medical intervention led to the birth of these two children. Yeah, and a fraternal twins are an example of that, because

identical twins are quote unquote accidents. Fraternal twins are usually hereditary in families, and when you are going to get IVF or some type of assistance getting pregnant, they're gonna put multiple eggs into the situation to see how many are viable. And that's why somebody might have two three flowed four five. Praise be to octo mom babies, a perfectly healthy lady who who had we we should have never questioned and definitely deserved a television show and some money.

I hope she still has some, but I doubt it. Yeah. So, yeah, that that is an example with the twins. But I do think she was pregnant with the twin right, and I think based on that suggestion, it probably was the result of fertility support from a medical team more than it was just a natural, uh, sort of like conception of twins from she and jay Z's old penis, very old penis, very old penis. But the penis doesn't matter. It's it's sadly that the funny. Yeah, I know, right,

depends on who you're talking to. But also my mother, who was a nurse, labor and delivery nurse my whole entire life, she had a theory that the twins had to have been in the Nike You because of the fact that she did not show pictures of them or any type of anything for a long time. My mother was just like, huh, I think those babies might be in the nick You. She just said it as a throwaway and went about her business. Now, I'll say this as as a recent father. My baby did not come

out attractive. She came out very ugly and and quickly became cute. But I was more than willing to keep my child's photos private as soon as she can. I was like, oh, we just ain't gonna show people, but we'll tell them she's happy and healthy because they can't look at this. This is this is a train wreck. I hainte when people do close ups of newborns No, and newborn is being held from a distance. Yea, we are getting an up angle. Maybe just see a little

bit of a land. That's how you shoot a newborn from just like Bob Ross painting. You know, no close ups on newborn. Stop that. So here's where the theories get increasingly more insane. So we started at the most simple one, fertility issues. But then there are some who say jay Z cheated on Beyonce and Beyonce opted to raise the illegitimate child from jay Z's stepping out, that this this in fact could be the child of the good hair Becky that we've heard so much about. Oh

like Surree and Tom Cruise and Katie Home exactly. That's okay. So that's an interesting one that that one is pretty far on that because of the fact that Blue I v looks just like baby because well but she spent years looking just like jay Z and has just sort of she's coming to like, yeah, jay Z, yeah the baby. I was shocked because I thought Blue Ivy Jes looked like jay Z. Then I saw pictures of Beyonce and I was like, oh my god, she looks just like Beyonce.

And apparently Beyonce looks like, yeah, they had they there's a ven diagram of when they all looked alike, I guess, and now they look different. But but for a while they were, they were streaming together. So here is my personal favorite of these potential conspiracy theories. And then we'll we'll go to our final break, but the last one, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. There are some who claim that Beyonce and jay Z are

in fact raising the illegitimate child of Beyonce's father. Matthew knows that when he was stepping out on Tina missed Tina, if you're nasty, then that he had a baby and was willing to to basically walk away from that child because Matthew knows apparently is a piece of ship, and Beyonce said, no, Papa, I'll raise the child, and jay Z and Beyonce have been raising that child ever since. That is just like the Janet Jackson and Reaby baby. That is some hell. Whoever came up with that theory

couda to you. I am sure you are alone in your mother's basement. But here's the thing. You better work that brain, because that is some juicy hot hot tea. I wish I had a tea with some bourbon in it for that. These are not These are not the conspiracy theories of people who are who are loved and cared for. These are the conspiracy theories of the lonely. But they are still fun all the same. Absolutely, Like this person is locked in the basement by their mother.

They when the mother chooses, got real from the gooney vibes for this one, Ye, I'm very much like, Oh, she wasn't pregnant. I didn't even think of whose the babies was. That is old out here running game and and ditching babies apparently, Oh my gosh. I mean, I wouldn't put that past him at sure. But I see, here's where I think it's a little short sighted is Matthew Knowles may not be the hero that he wanted us to believe he was for the years that he

represented Beyonce and Destiny's chill Is at their manager. But Matthew Knowles has shot a hundred percent up to this point of successful fucking superstars. Beyonce and Solange are both legendary performers talents out in the world. He would be a fool to get a third baby and be like, buy ain't fucking with this one though, Like you literally have another shot and making a great just see how it goes. Matthew, say, you got that Joe Jackson's got

that Joe Jackson. He got that Joe Jackson. You better make them, baby, you gotta keep making him. And you got that Joe Jackson. Yeah, I mean I believe it. You want to you want to sprinkle him in somebody else? See what'll see what we can do over here? Well we can do overay. That's great. All right, We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more joy l Johnson more my mama told me. And we are back anyway. Yeah,

we're back here Johnson More. My mama told me. We're still talking about the legendary Beyonce and her legendary lies about that goddamn baby. Oh I've lost the pounds from laughing. Okay, let's let's play a game. We love to play a game on this show. It's it's our favorite thing. And I have a classic game that I would love to

play with you. It's a game called Homemade Hotep. So Joel, the way that this game works is I am going to introduce to you a very real fact out in the world, something that is objectively treated as a truth. And what I would love for you to do is just how tep the ship out of it. Add as much conspiracy and and frankly homophobia as you feel necessary, mostly to to make this real fact a little less real. Does that make sense? Great? So this is a fun

one that I found. It's apparently, and I think there's there's got some ripe material here for you. Apparently, in Scotland, the national animal of Scotland is the unicorn. Out in Scotland, their national animal is a unicorn. Everywhere else America we got real animals, bald eagles and and I don't know, goats. I don't know what America is into. But the point is Scotland's claiming their national animal is a unicorn. Tell

me why. I mean it makes sense because Scotland is way to Caucus Mountains there and they didn't get enough sunlight and that's what turned their skin white and their eyes blue, and which is why they would not be able to recognize a real animal, because their skin is translucent and so is their brains. So of course they're going to choose something like a unicorn, because I know what they were doing up there in the Caucaus Mountains. The men's were sleeping with the men's the women's you know,

they wasn't even having enough babies correctly. And and and this is this is the problem that you have. Everyone needs sunlight. Unicorns don't have no sunlight. They're white, they're white with a rainbow especially epecially they don't have a gender either. My goodness, what what letters do we have that have to follow a unicorn in Scotland because they don't pronounce all their letters in Scotland. I'm just against because a rainbow flag wrapped in a unicorn with some glitter.

Eventually they have plenty of parades. This wow, you did it? Hold on it gets the rebound, passes it to the man, shoots it and boom goes a dynamite. Boom goes the dynamite. That was fantastic. What what a response? I normally play funk Flex going that's that's motherfucking bars, nigga, you know nothing about that, But I couldn't find my drop, so I played one that's very different from from Clex. But

the point is you still nail that. I love that that they're they're so white that they can't even see reality as we understand it. In other places in the world. You need sun you need sunlight, and then if you get too much sunlight you get people in Los Angeles, so you need a balance, you need a balance. That's East Coast girl. I think in l A. We see everything and we don't have souls to be able to communicate one where other whether these things we're seeing or

right or wrong? Yes, no one knows ball half sunlight. Well well, joy L, we did it. This was this was a pleasure. This you you you nailed this episode. Could you tell the people at home where they can find you and what cool stuff you have going on? Yes, I mean after the Hive is done with me, hopefully I will still be available one and yell Joys across all platforms. That's my album that came out of this

Juneteenth and love Joy is my special on Peak. Hell yeah, so go go watch the special, go listen to the album, Go follow joy L wherever the following happens. And uh, as always, you can follow me at Lankston Kerman on all the platforms, and and uh if you are in Los Angeles on December fifteen. I would love to see you over at Hotel Cafe. Were host in another monthly show. It'll be a good ass time, a lot of fun comedians,

links in Kerman and freaks. It's it's a good it's a good silly time and please like and subscribe to the podcast. Review it do all the things that that you, the listener at home, are responsible for doing. I'll kill you if you don't. I swear to God, I'll kill you and your family if you don't review my podcast. Okay, I said it. Bye, bitch, My crop chips in your qualibars are racist money stuff I can't tell me