Conspiracy Mid Year Remix! (feat. Mandal, Miles Gray, and Will Ferrell)

Hey, well, Mama's it's me David Bori from earlier. I'm here to tell you that I have a comedy special that I produced by myself that is out via Mypatreon, patreon dot com backslash David Bori. Go on there, sign up for the Patreon for free, buy the special for twelve dollars. It is quite frankly the best special of the year, next to Limeston's, and I stand on that.

WHOA, that's a great stance to have, and thank you for mentioning. I too have a special August twentieth, it'll be available on Netflix. It's called Bad Poetry, and it's the best I could do. It's I don't know where it ranks in the scale of other specials, but it certainly is the best I could come up with and commit to. So I'd appreciate your viewership and watch David watch mine, and write us immediately afterwards and tell us

Chips and yours are racist layers, money turning stuff. I can't tell me.

Hey, you scally wags.

You goddamn sick os, Hey you muffin tops and you muffin bottoms. We don't discriminate. We don't discriminate. Does your booty look like cranberry loaf? Come on home, I.

Look up to you. I like it. What it looks like a bag of old produce.

We were here to tell you that this week's episode is a special one. We're gonna do a little bit of a look back, a little retrospective on some of our favorite episodes of the last year. It includes episodes from Will Ferrell. It includes episodes from Mands, Miles Gray, and mandel Man Against Negativity, Buying all Love's Love, defining all of something like that. The man Sandal himself will also be talking to And we hope that you enjoy it.

Come on David por Patreon dot com, backslash David Bori purchase my special Birth of a Nation with the g Some are saying industry insiders are saying it's the hottest special of the year. They're saying, who is this guy? He's a bad boy of fought. That's what the industry has said, if you want to be like them.

They're not saying he has bad thoughts. No confused, He's saying he's the bad boy of thinking.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, he thinks by his own rules. Yeah, that's why he's so rich. You know who else has gotten incredible special that? I just watched My Lady and Her Dog and laugh a ton. Some people are calling it the love Jones of comedy, like sy Kerman as a special.

Yeah, please go watch my special. It's on Netflix. It is called bad Poetry. It apparently is the love Jones of comedy, despite that not being at all what we were aiming for in that interview. Uh, and it's David's really funny, my special. I hope it's really funny, and we would love for you to watch both. But more importantly, enjoyed the episode and come see us on tour. That should be the whole shebang. Bye bitch, Bye bitch.

And they had hush puppies, right, And now I'm terrified of what type of ship Captain Deeds was driving because my folks really enjoyed this stuff.

Yeah, and he here doing he out here. You find out, You find out what kind of captain you've been serving this bro.

Captain De's was hard back in the day.

Yeah, we've never had before in my life. Vom.

John Silvers has hush puppies too, right.

Yeah, it's not the same as Captain.

Captain D's is good captain.

Kind of like how Pope's is today. And you've only seen Captain des across from a city train, you know what I'm saying.

It's an urban market, absolutely.

Yeah, John is down by down the street from the most busted mall. Even when I was in high school, it was like the mall where you would go to to get like airbrushed like.

It was that.

Absolutely, it sounds no chain stores in the mall, you know what I'm saying.

It sounds, if I may, it sounds maybe even closer to maybe a church's chicken than a Popeye's chicken.

See that's now you get somewhere it's it's like churches, but with catfish. Honestly, I think it was whitened. It was whitened, which is lower than catfish.

Was it wasn't catfish.

I think it was widen because before they started put making a fish in the computer, you got a print to lap. They may lay out of a three D printer. Now I met the uh uh uh in the back of Walmart right before you get that it's white. Absolutely first of all.

You could get Let's be clear, I don't think everybody knew that they were three D printing fish. I don't even just throw that out like that was that. It was just an understood agreement amongst everyone.

Man, I'd have been in aquariums all across the country. I ain't never seen no tilapia.

They're they're not motherfucking book.

They making that junk in the computer.

Can I also say, though this is a weird stat, I also have been in aquariums across the country and have seen I don't know what a tilapia looks like. For as much as I've consumed, you couldn't hit me in the face with the tilapia fish. Oh, I don't know what it looks like with the scales on. Here's what I'll say, and I don't disagree that.

I think a lot of our fish is probably not what they tell us it is, or certainly not the correct manufacturing of what they're claiming.

That said, I don't think it's tilapia.

That's the one that everybody is in fact like making out of other fish. I think it's swat. Cod is the one that is made from a bunch of other fish. And cod is like the hot dog of fish.

For the New Come Square.

If you guys have done s why it's like they say, it's like catfish, but it's cheaper.

That's not good.

I want to add a note about the hush puppy thing. That's why they call it hush puppies. I forgot to say that, because yeah, that's.

So so to that. I guess, Bory, this is your first time hearing this. Tell me how much you believe in the possibility of this being real.

Okay, so here's the thing I have. I'm conflicted because I my heart wants to believe it. I like this, But if it was something as high rise is me trying to escape slavery, I'd probably throw the dogs at me. Even if it was scraps or organs or something like that, I don't think I would. I would trust cornmeal to quiet the dogs. I would give them, like you know what I'm saying.

You're saying that that's not substantive enough to guarantee your escape.

But I also don't know dogs like that. I'll tell you that I don't know dogs like Yeah.

Well I think, well, I think that. I think it's a situation of like they was making the best of what they had type of thing, right, Right. But here the issue I have, right, and why.

Make them so delicious for people? If you were just going to give them the dogs?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I just think it would. I think. I think the issue I have with that is that why why later as time went on they only became like a seafood thing?

Right?

That's a good question too. You know that is a good question.

Because it would have been different if instead of we had instead of corn bread, we just always had hush puppies, right, but something had to happen amongst the translations, but maybe only happening on the coast, I don't know.

Yeah, it is a fascinating thing when you start to think about where hush puppies sort of exist in our greater like eating relationship. Right, Like, as much as you go like, oh yeah, hushpuppies, I associate them with sort of Southern food, but it isn't to your point, mandeal All, It's not like every Southern restaurant you go to has hushpuppies. They're more associated with like seafood and sometimes like creole food or like throw hushpuppies in there. But it's it's not everywhere.

It's always with shrimp or fish. I feel, m h, like I never had it with like pork chops, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean listen, I mean obviously obviously I wasn't there, so.

Thank god, we're we're glad you here with us.

We're lucky there. So I mean that verywell could be likely. I'm pretty sure they had a bunch of tactics that they was using at the time, getting creative to get out of a tumultuous situation. I'm just saying this specific theory is interesting because I'm like, if it's a trained dog, would that be enough for him to be.

Like, yeah, disciplined about like not eating them hush puppies.

That's what I'm saying, Like, because they're trained to hunt down people, right, yeah, so it's like, if they're well trained, it's gonna be like, no, I got I. Once again, I don't know dogs. I don't hate dogs. I need that to be known though right now on the record, I don't hate anybody that talks like that.

Probably got some issues with a dog, but.

I don't have any issues. I just don't like animals more than people. I hate that I have to explain this to people all the time.

It's not crazy, pretty upset and he's yelling in a way that that feels like a man with hatred in his art.

I'm just saying that you don't get angry when you see a dog wearing clothing.

No, thank you, I want to I want to mention something.

We have a housing christis out you're building houses for dogs.

Yeah, I don't know. I wasn't helping with either either positions. So yeah, go ahead dogs, I don't know.

I got I got one thing to bring up if I mean, yeah, what so, because here's my thing. Let's say, if you're getting arrested, let's save you a drug lord, right, and the police is after you. Yeah, and they got the dogs running through the woods trying to find that uh supplements right right? If I threw that dog a begging striped he's so gullible, be like, you know what, never mind? Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

I don't care about the work anymore. I got this fake meat. I think, if I may, I think it's less of never mind and more of a small distraction to give you an additional what two minutes three minutes of running time to distance yourself from the situation. That said, where I start to get curious about this is part of what slaves also had to do was remove scent from their body, Like you have to make yourself less traceable in escape, and by leaving trails of food behind

Yeah, because dogs know if you got meat on you or like if you're on your period. They know that because no, look what Olivia said, Olivia, don't make me feel like a crazy person. Olivia chimed in and said, unfortunately, they do. Y'all were laughing at me, like, I'm nuts. They can swell when you're on your period.

It wasn't that what you said sounded crazy. It was just the passion that you sort of found inside of it. I don't know, it felt very left field in a way that made me laugh. But hey, you're right. You're right, they know when people are on their periods. Here's what I'll tell you is that is that I did do a little bit of research on this subject of whether or not these Hushpuppyes, this hush puppy situation is in

I wanted this one to be real.

They also said originally hushpuppy was a slang term for silence one. I mean, it can be we we certainly can spread that misinformation. I know, i's Bobby, but they said it was a slang term for silencing someone or

But it's not a dog though.

But it wasn't a dog specifically. They also talk a little bit about I guess hush puppies and like a lot of things existed before black people and even white people were in this country. That second, yeah, I mean, it's not a it doesn't seem like a crazy idea that like frying corn meal would not Like we were the first motherfuckers to think of that. You know, Native Americans did that ship before we did and probably called it something.

I mean, they love, right, was frying stuff?

I think?

So where where where's the where's the natural crisco? Oh?

Like, where does that oil come from?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, I thought it was I thought it was corn chris go yet.

Getting the supplement to fry? What I'm saying, I don't know.

I know that there's there's corn oils, there are vegetable oils, which maybe that falls into the corn category. There's uh, what are the some of the other oils?

Is the what's the yellow crisco? The one that's basically buttered.

I don't know, but I'm gonna say I'm only fried, so I've only cooked maybe four times in my life without cleo. But in my brain, I'm like, where they get the supplement? You know?

Yeah, that's that's an interesting question that I don't really have an answer for, is where the crisco came from? But but I will say that it's certainly I think, like most things in this country. It was not originated by US, you know what I mean, like a lot of things. Uh, And by US, I mean Americans, not Black Americans. I think black Americans invented a lot, but specifically America did not necessarily America. Understand it, not just invent everything we have today.

Because in my brain, I'm thinking natives all grilling. I think they like barbecue every single day.

No, it makes sense because of the fires. You're like, Okay, they have the fire going. You put some buffalo on there. I'm more interested right now. And how both of you can't cook?

I can't at all. I can't at all.

Man, you I don't know how you missed it?

All right?

So this is my issue. I don't know if this is off topic, but my issue is my brain can't transition. It can't see the difference between raw and done before it's burnt.

Hm hmm.

I can't mind a transition. I can only see raw. And this is this is something away.

Oh, it's the timing thing. You it's the time you have timing issues.

Absolutely.

My My issue is I can tell the difference between raw and burnt. I don't want to get it. I don't want to get mixed in with whatever manals got going on that s ain't like something that needs a prescription.

And I don't.

I just don't want it. I don't want that to be my mess. I can tell the difference, but I am extremely opposed to spending a long period of time on something that I am going to only enjoy for a very short period of time. And cooking principally is that like, I don't like the idea of I work on something for fucking an hour to eat it in ten minutes and I scarf down food fast and it never feels as worth it as the investment was.

It's about the journey.

That's what I took the words right out of my life.

And that's what focus on the end goal always, it's about how you get there. It's about the step by step you would love into the who because you love yourself.

That's come on, come on, okay, you.

You worth the amount of time it takes to make that food.

Who.

I'll say that I didn't expect to feel inspired this morning, but but here I am.

When was the last time you so you don't ever? What about like a one pa? What about easy stuff like like chicken thighs. That's easy.

What I've started to do more often is I'll do like the out two chef for my wife. I'll prep everything and now I'll let Nikki like do her thing afterwards, so that I can cut down on the amount of time that she has to spend. But I'm not. I I just don't like it. Man. So you like peel potatoes? Yeah, are like cut up carrots whatever? Yeah? I never did that.

Yeah.

That air fright, I'm gonna say it right now. It is holding this all back. You think so, I think that it's just what are we gonna do when there's no air fryers? You can't do everything in there.

I'm gonna be honest with you.

I know some pots get some bands.

I was wrong when when I pulled my salmon out. When I put salmon in there. When I put my salmon out of there, you would have thought they'd never touch water in his life. That it's almost salmon jerky. You know what I'm saying.

You can't. It's not for everything. And they're just gonna start attaching ship and that's how they're gonna get us. Like have you seen that movie Wally? How they have the wheelchairs. The air frar is the beginning of the wheelchairs.

Do you think the air fry they're.

Gonna put chat GPT on it. They're gonna put EMP three's on it, and we're gonna all be launched.

We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are now selling and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much. Just sleek, it's sexy. Come on, you want to tell them what we have?

Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie on it since my mama told me. And then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is.

Who you are. Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a brand new name, but it's the same old merch and we would love for you to get some if you haven't got it already, and we want you to have all the sweet stuff, So get it first and I'll leave it on your shoulders. To explain to our sweet listeners or good Christians. Yes, yes, yes, I want to remind you this is a Christian podcast, absolute for my absolutely do it.

There.

It is that christ drop real quick. Yeah, remind our sweet Christian listeners what a rainbow party is.

Yes, yes, So children of God gather around because I would love to bless you with the knowledge of the rainbow party.

So I'll first talk about the way I heard it.

I was probably in ninth or tenth grade and somebody goes.

Hey, man, you hear about these rainbow parties, like some dude. Yeah, yeah. It's like my friend who's also a vergent his hands together, and you're like being like that.

Man, yeah, like why you're doing the bird man, like rubbing your books like that, man, you've heard about these rainbow parties.

So I was like, no, what the fuck are you talking about?

And he's like, so, you know over at Grant High School, you know, my cousin goes there. They say they do this thing where all the ladies they put a different shade of lipstick on, and then all the dudes are at this party and each person has they take turns.

Yes, you had me at all the girls?

Yeah yeah, yeah, like in one place and they don't care if I have if my braces aren't off yet. Oh shit, you know yo, I.

Was sweet, even the ones with low self esteem. It sounds like my kind of vibe. Yeah, absolutely play.

Shout out to all the dudes waiting to get their braces off for that first Oh yeah, it's just like this summer is it's.

Over for y'all math tutors these braces off.

So yeah, that was like the theory was basically an oral sex party where all the ladies wear different shades of lipstick and whoever has the most shades collected on their penis I guess winds or whatever, and there was never really like an outcome or to be like, and it's like a chromatic mess on your shadow and that was like enough to for everybody be like, yep, yeah.

We leave little alcohol wipes out the doors so you can get the makeup off exactly, a very efficient party. Yeah. Absolutely. I admittedly had never heard this until yesterday. Oh really, I don't think that I was at all away her rain parties, if I'm being completely honest, until the Scots sent over.

It's wild because I'm pretty sure like I sort of was looking by doing my own research too on it. And it's wild because I'm pretty sure the time, the point at which I heard about it predates even like the official introduction of this into like the written.

The written word of God on it. Yeah.

Yeah, it was just like one of those. It was just like one of those things like you know, Marilyn Manson had a rib removed his own dick, you know what I mean, Or like little Kim had to get her pump, her stomach pump because she was giving so much head Like it was sort of like in that sort of school of just shit people would say but no one had proof for. But because you're ignorant and young and the virgin, You're like, absolutely, I.

Think you mean the general topics for this podcast. Yeah, yes, sorry, all of our regular subject matter, yes.

Yes, yes, but the stomach pump thing was always like someone they would map on a different person like at the time, because.

I heard it with local girls a cuple one time in high school. They said that this girl, who was in fact was along. They said that she had had to get her stomach pump.

Yeah. I think when you talked to white people, it's a very different person than Lil Kim. It's I can't remember who their person is.

Oh, I wonder who it would be if it was not Little Kim.

It's like Madonna or some ship or like that. Yeah, Nancy Reagan or something was. Oh that's right, Justin's right, he said. I think white people think it's Rod Stewart sucking dis is the white people version of sucking dis until he had to get his stomach pump. And I don't even know if Rod Stuart was sucking dicks. I think they were just calling him very very gay, right you that hair.

That's the Maggie May guy, right, Yeah, yeah, I know him from a Yeah, yeah.

Yeah I thought so. But that's why that's why, that's why that shit is so fucking slanderous.

You know, right, yeah, like come on, no man, exactly, I noted pussy enthusiast Rock Stewart's.

Stewart you could know you're upending my world, right Yeah?

But yeah no.

I mean it's interesting though, too, because I think whether you like you either probably heard it as like a local myth or I think the thing that really mainstreamed it was like once it got on TV and shit and then became like this gigantic like moral panic especially.

Yeah, are we it's just to time it out? Are we sicking? Because for me, in my mind, this is like a turn of the century. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got nine two thousand, two thousand and one time period.

I graduated high school two thousand and three. Okay, I would say this.

Around like, I don't want to put it all on nine to eleven, but I feel like it was around.

Nine to eleven. Yeah.

I first started hearing it, like my sophomore or junior rish year.

Saw the terrorist one. This is misdirection. They were like, well, we'll knock down the towers and they'll get us back for that, but they'll never get us back for what we do to their girls to the rainbow party.

I also, I mean, now that we're just openly discussed, here's my question about it. Always was like, so afterwards, you're at a party where all these girls are sucking dick, then you show everybody your dick to prove that it got sucked by all these girls. That was the reason everybody came to the party.

Well, I guess that that's a question I have immediately. Is is the expectation that I show my dick afterwards? Or is the expectation that I just go home with a cool goodie bag of rainbow or like a rainbow sticker somebody puts on your sweatshirt. Yeah, like I didn't know. I had to like verify it with the boys to to I.

Think, Okay, maybe I'm a weirdo sports.

I think that's what makes it kind of fall apart, because when you really think about it too, like even the idea that it would like leave a rainbow, you're like, I'm sorry, what technique is being used during the fillatio that.

Like, are you just going like stamping rings around?

I think, yeah, yeah, we're talking a grateful dead T shirt more than anything.

A rainbow.

I'm gonna say, I think this is a little racist. Say more, my dick is probably only gonna reflect maybe the reds Okay, And you know what I'm saying, it's not gonna look like it's gonna look like mud sound.

Yeah, yeah, you don't know mud part. We should start that one. Yeah, that one out there, like you all.

Have been too a mud party, or like the color when you mix all the SODA's the graveyard or when swamp water. Yeah, it's not gonna look like it's not gonna look like a rainbow.

No, no, it'll end up being I think at the end of the day, with all of the colors of the spectrum there, it will just it'll ned out to some kind of brownish green.

I feel like, yeah, it's gonna be it's gonna make your penis look pretty.

But again that's not the important part, because I think it was just merely the f I think for young boat like men, boys and kids in high school, it was like the idea that there were so many willing participants in like sexual activity was like, like everything else be damned.

You're like, I don't know, man, I'm not gonna show anybody my dick. I don't even shower in front of y'all. Yeah.

I was just gonna say, these poor women have to come to the party. No, we either have to suck ten eager dicks. They don't have to keep putting on their makeup, right.

A lot of labor involved, a lot of yeah.

What what what do they get from the Rainbow party?

Hey? You know what?

And I'm not I'm not trying to think that far ahead, David, because I just want to know that there is such a thing. And this don't make me examine it any further because it starts falling apart.

I would encourage us not to underestimate the camaraderie you probably build right bye by sucking that many of the same dicks with your with your dearest friends. There's probably a bond, yeah, that will never be broken when you share that kind of closeness with the person.

Absolutely almost like a sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Almost like a d Day landing, but a different kind of dye.

It's the same. I've never experienced it, but like the same as like dudes who run trains together. I think I love my cousin.

Yeah, no, he's a good dude.

And you're like, no, I don't know you guys are doing that anyways.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's don't admit that so open. It seems like maybe you just did a bad thing and now you're bonding. Yeah, reason for you.

You you both have something you don't want to bring up to Grandma and Thanksgiving.

No, I will say that that when you initiated this conversation about the Rainbow parties, while it was my first time hearing it, you also sent over a correlating Reddit thread that featured an Oprah episode where Oprah addresses this rumor.

And what I would love to.

Do is maybe watch that clip together and we can pause and talk shit in between. As the whole thing.

Is yeah, like this, the whole the segment is wild because it's not just it's like this, I don't know panic longer.

Woman comes on to be like, it's let me, let me go through some phrases and tell me if you've heard of these. No, she gives us, she gives us a lot to work with you. Yeah, so let's watch it.

Everybody has another light that your parent.

Wait what second? Not you know what second before we even get in? Are they also you guys need to know that it says toss salad and yes that's important.

Yes, no.

Watching this shit unfold in front of the audience is fucking wild because they had like two thousand and five or some ship it.

Also, it is truly. I used to think that these audiences were completely casted and like, who are these these women that that would want this, But then you see their reactions and they genuinely are hearing about tossing salad for the first time, and the like, come on, you didn't watch Chris Rock before? You don't stand up before this, like you're up on that already? So crazy to see.

Yeah, okay, so here we go. Anyway onward with the educational video.

You know, having you know sex after school, right, But everybody has another life. You know, the way your friends know you is not the way your parents know you.

Right, correct.

Yeah, so you say, let's talk about the secret language, Michelle.

Yes, his secret language is so funny.

Oh so for acts like she's not fucking I hate that.

Yeah that is.

I don't like that at all. Like you weren't ever a horny teenager. You gotta be an adult about that.

But more of this, like you've had stedman as a side piece for forty years, you tell your beard, Yeah, you telling me this, motherfucker. I ain't never had to do something weird to you to come on to keep the side house going. You don't make him.

You don't make him film you and Gails.

Sometimes you just watch her things. I think it's important.

Maybe we watch her face as these things are explained, to see if she like feigns ignorance or like or she's like, all right, here we go.

I didn't know any of it.

Yeah, I've gotten a Lotmatles.

Okay, so what is a salad? Top?

Salad is to your underwear?

For this one oral?

Okay, let's just pause right there, because she tells us to hold on to our underwear, which isn't a common phrase.

I'm not familiar with this idiom. It certainly has it rings of other phrases that are more you know what I mean, that are correct. But she goes, hold on, you're gonna want to hold onto your underwear for this one. And I thought the audience would laugh at her saying that, but they did. They in fact held their underwear. Yeah, And then she tells them what salad. Well, I won't beat.

It because she knows they're about to burst out of them because they're so excited here and they talking about top.

Salad, on that salad and scrambled eggs.

Oprah is lying, she does the hands. She's lying.

She said, I've never I've never heard of any of these.

Okay, top salad is get ready, hold on to your underwear for this one. Oral anal sex, so oral sex to.

A rainbow party. Okay, So maybe that one of this woman's was the worst day of her life.

It looks it looks like I would believe if like the reverse angle of this was like Oprah, like ripping a puppy in half of her hair, hands to her, her look of shock and disgust.

Like I can't to try to get a new car.

What the when do we reach on the R seat?

And is there an atus?

Something horrible?

I wanted a Pontiac Sunfire is not what I came for.

Oh bro, holy is this woman? Please? Why is she making up such horrible things?

Why would Telly press students?

And now yeah, now she moves into I guess the part where the you know what we all came to hear is the rainbow party?

Break down? Rainbow party for us.

Hostel it is my mom. A rainbow party is an oral sex party. It's a gathering where oral sexest performed and rainbow comes from all of the girls.

Holds lots of gatherings oral sexist performed. Don't oh you mean it's a high school reunion. It's a barbecue in the park. If you're lucky, it's game night if you got too drunk.

I honestly, in high school used to think that parties were trash if oral sex didn't happen.

That was why you fucking went. You think I want to dance Tipsy by Jake Kwan again? Mm hmmm that's a good.

Yeah, I mean you could do the chicken Head. You know, I didn't I wasn't even always getting it, but I at least wanted to know. It was like part of the the experience. It was like, oh, pussy was being was being had. This was a good time, This was true.

That was always the promise you were hoping for. It's like, and it'll be women, Yeah, are down.

I got my best rockawar on.

Yeah exactly.

I got a new of a Lure jumpsuit and I got a crispy new Jordan headband.

Say I have on my shirt that just the one on my pants exactly. Oh, yes, you're right. These are academics genes so much.

I'm somewhat of a skull.

You can tell by the different leather alphabet patches on my leg.

Also the burned to lip quality CD in my compact display.

Right right, It's like, how come? How come?

There's a voice that says promo at the beginning of the last like, don't worry about it all right, just enjoy it. This is this, This should go hard.

Yeah, it's this exclusive yeah bairl. I downloaded it on bear Share, so it's pretty legit. Exactly. Oh you didn't know about that. Oh you're still on kaza you'll catch up one day. Sweet, Now what about that mouth? Now? What that rainbow? Doreen? I'm trying to catch them all? If you know what I mean? You a Pokemon fan? Right?

Okay, all right, you want to continue with this?

Yes, there we go.

Rainbow comes from all of the girls put on lipstick, and each one puts her mouth around the penis of the gentleman or gentlemen who are there to receive favors and makes a mark in a different This woman looks.

Like she's looking at the two thousand and eight election results coming in.

Ah soo oh hell no oh? So once again, why do you acting like you don't know what a blue chop is?

Like?

Real brand new on Oprah? Right now? Her hair literally looks like a man got some head and then did like this afterwards. She was just she's not a hero, Jesus, Jesus putting it together. She's like, my husband.

Had a rainbow lay second right, you I thought he had a mud party place on the penis, hence the term rainbow.

So okay, and so what is so?

What does pretty boy mean?

A pretty boy?

Oh?

Bro? Someone?

Now they go on what's a pretty boys?

Oprah's turned up? You see that that touch to the neck right here. Yeah, right, that's that's tuned up.

She had to ary real quick, like the blood is flown. I got into a bunch of other examples, many of which are not even sexual in nature. They're just sort of like applying them to weird sexual things like kids slaying. Yeah, yeah, it's just kids slang that they're like booty call, and that's what Oprah's like, we all know what that is.

You know.

It's yeah, come into the big house, dedman, I'll leave the door unlocked.

This on a more serious note, I feel like every generation does this and I hate it. It's like you're demonizing sex, like you don't understand that it feels good, right, Like you're making it sound like it's such a crazy thing to lick somebody he's booty when he just feels good, it feels nice, it feels you know what I'm saying. Like, I hate that because it's like you're making you're you're giving a weight to sex that kids are gonna have to grow up and figure out how to navigate.

Yeah. No, it's an awful little game that they're playing as adults, to to be manipulating kids in this way as it relates to sex. It is fascinating how many of them. You can tell we're also manipulated. We're also sort of led to be that scared of the thing that this They have to have this reaction at the the sound of sex period, much less sex from young people.

Right, and there's always has to be some like new deviation from like the quote unquote norm it's like they just they don't even give ahead anymore. They put the lipstick on and they're they're making fucking you know, Mark Rothko paintings on their dicksh going on.

And I think that's like it's all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm so thankful that we post this podcast together.

I'm thankful for you and your contribution.

But like, and it's always like part of some like you know, conservative backsliding societally too, where you got to create some moral panic out of just whatever is happening to be like and it's and that's what's all.

Going wrong right now?

Yeah, yeah, which is crazy because ultimately this is a pretty safe scenario. Yeah, nobody's getting pregnant.

Exactly well, and they also say that too, like in this Oprah clip, it's like that's what see they don't consider it sex.

They consider it outer course, not inner course. Yeah, and everybody gas, yeah, the idea that getting head is different than getting pussy and right. It's like, I went to a Catholic school.

I know, people were talking about anal sex because they're like, that's not I think that's cool. As long as it's not in the vagina that then you can still be a And you're like, okay.

Dudes, we're talking about that too.

Huh.

I'm I didn't go to Catholic school, so I'm curious men were talking. Dudes talk about that as well.

I mean, like I think I was. I was, like, you know, I wasn't Catholic, so I like the kids that were. I was there because it was the cheapest private school in my area, and they like them, like yeah, and these ghost stories they're telling y'all every day.

They're cool and all, but like, I don't know if this dude really did all this shit. That's to do you do you?

That's so funny, Like there were I feel like the kids who are like had that real Catholic guilt, Like those were sort of like the hacks and you see that like with Mormons, you know what. I mean, that's why they're just floating and ship and soaking or whatever. The you know, the hacks that they got to get around the Bible, because in the end of the day, people just want to They just want to feel good.

It feels good putting your dick in stuff.

Putting your dick and stuff feels good.

Dicks in stuff feels good.

Yeah, we saw American pie. I bet it does. Uh. And I root for all of us to get what feels good. The baby boomer era of men just suck, right right right, Yeah, they fucking suck. None of them will just be like, man, we were losers. I get it.

Now, would they ever say something like on a podcast we're like, you know, like I think we were contributing to rape culture. Yeah, and that's terrible, And I have a lot of regrets about something like that. I mean, like, you know, I think that's just I think that's just like an intellectual bridge.

A lot of people don't cross a lot of time. You don't want to have that, even if you want to take some of the weighted language off of it, because I get it, like you you start to use like the sort of like liberal young person verbiage, and yeah, yeah, to feel less yourself. I understand that instinct. But just we hated women, we were mean to fucking women. Is a simple enough breakdown, Like damn I think I hated women? Oh well, I'm better now. Is such an easy revelation to be had.

We just did it.

We did and said, damn, I fucking hate myself because that was corny. Yeah I was.

And I reduced like the whole idea like a woman to like this flattened sort of like concept of like a game where it's like can I unlock sex?

And like no type of no type of dynamics in their personalities. No, no, no, you know what I realized as I got older, I never thought I would think of a man's perspective. I never I never sat and thought like, so, what are women supposed to do?

Right?

What's your life supposed to be? She's just supposed to.

Be okay with me, be it, you know what I mean.

But it's like it's very it's not like a difficult it's not like a difficult thing to look at, you know, No.

It's it's so easy to look at. And these motherfuckers who can't are losers and ladies. If you're with somebody who hasn't yet admitted that he used to be real fucking lame about the way he treated you. Then he might be a bad guy, baby girl. I don't know.

Maybe, hey, maybe he was progressive. There were there were guys shout talking on Mars out there. Yeah, guys, Early you had to go to Korea or wherever he wented.

Game back different.

Ye.

Well, I did a little bit of research on the on the subject of rainbow parties. And while the Oprah clip is sort of when it becomes the most popular, miles, I think you know this too. According to Wikipedia, there's a Christian pediatrician who first wrote about the subject in two thousand and two her book Epidemic, How Tech Team

I'll never believe the kind of shit she's talking about now, if this is where she started eight years ago, fifteen years ago.

You can't. I'll give you one.

Guess what website she's regularly publishing The fucking Daily Wire.

Bro, She's on that ship. Ben Shapiro is like health expert now.

Famous pussy enthusiast Ben Shapiro.

No, no, no, something's wrongly wrong, something wrong.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know.

If no, if there's that, if there's that kind of moisture, you should you should absolutely consult a medical professional because that something is something is definitely wrong, some kind of disorder.

There's a quote from the book which this woman claims was related to her by a fourteen year old girl in Michigan. She says, Alison had heard some kids were going to have a rainbow party, but had no idea what that meant. Still, she thought it might be fun and arranged to attend with a friend. After she arrived, several girls, all in the eighth grade, were given different shades of lipstick and told to perform oral sex on

I heard some kids heard about it, And this is like the thing when you when you start like, are you.

Talking to little girls about get suck dicks? Got a real job? How about that? That's a really big sort of flag inside of a lot of what I discovered here is that it's a lot of adults talking to children, quote unquote children about their sexual activity and then relaying

Yeah, like it feels this is why. Like again, like my theory with how this started, it sounds like a lie.

A boy told you know what I mean, and then from there.

Very way oh yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly because it has everything.

It has everything in the grand scheme of like if I'm just gonna make up some bullshit for my friends and community to enjoy, it's a very funny, very cool lie. Kudos to that young man, exactly.

I'm a lie on my dick.

Man.

Let it be wearing a technic colored dream code.

Yes, because so many women suck that. Yeah that it changed all into all the colors. The Captain planeted into fucking the perfect penis.

My shit gets sucked so much they have to make a game out of it.

Yeah, and they have to verify who did it according to this color chart.

We have invitations and rsbps to my ship and.

It sucks so much it looks like a twister board. Bitch, and start crawling on it and putting their hands and feet in different places less with green, bitch. Yeah so that happened. Yeah, yeah, and that definitely happens.

So that's what I'm trying to tell y'all, man, like y'all gotta hear about these rainbow parties and like it also too, because that was the funny thing I remember asking, like you know, when you're in high school, like you're with all your friends like a nutrition period or whatever, and someone's bringing it up, and I remember all the girls are like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like all the girls I knew were like that is disgusting.

Doing a rainbow party tonight.

Like that is such a weird. It's like a concept of a woman that is created in a man's fantasy world and you need something like this to sort of like get yourself through your you know, in cell sort of life, to be.

Like, yeah, man, one day I'll go to one of these parties. We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are now selling and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.

Sleek, it's sexy.

Come on, you want to tell them what we have?

Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat, Alien dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have the enamel pin with the alien who has a koofie on it since my mama told me. And then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is who you are.

Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a brand new name, but it's the same old merch and we would love for you to get some if you haven't got it already, and we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so get it.

My family's from the South. My mom and dad are from North Carolina, so I was trying to pick their I was like, do you guys have things? Yeah that you really stuck to nothing.

Nothing, nothing heart shattering, like nothing on the level of the baby piss cures acting. I love that. I love that you're bringing that up. And I was like, mom, you ever heard of that? She's like, what it's and it doesn't cure acting, It just makes you feel good.

But then that spun me off into the drinking of urine, which you guys touched upon, sure, which I remember when I went and did.

Bear Grill's Survival show.

Yes, So he started expanding it where he'd have, I believe, And so I'm the first one to actually be on the show with him as a guest, and I thought it was I kept my runner. I was like, I'm going to ask him fifty times, when do we start to drink our own pea? Because he's always talking about that guy goes pea.

He goes peace so quick. He's like, I got a we'd.

Be we'd be making a lean to or doing whatever we're doing. I'm like, hey, bear, it is now a good time should we start drinking our own peak there. He wasn't having any of it. He'd be like a very finny yeah, what I'm trying to show you here? And I asked him fifty times. I finally watched the episode. They didn't include one jokes.

And I was where you're at, bear, inte, I watched that show for you to pee. I mean, yeah, there's outdoor.

And here's the crazy thing. I would have drank my own piss. I would have done it, wow, because I'm there, I'm gonna do the full.

Committed I would have but include my jokes so that I'm exactly I'm not a psychopath drinking my own I'm a fun guy.

Drinking. They wouldn't include the I don't know what they were thinking. Why do you want to make me come off serious?

Yeah, it's so crazy. It was very bizarre, but yeah, they're really.

My dad was saying, Oh, it was just like really simple things like if you walked in the house through one door, you had to leave through that same door would be bad luck. So if you came in through the back door, you had to leave. Hi, guys, I set that one up with knowing what I was doing.

But you brought up the baby p Yeah, the possibility that it cares acne. We talked to miss pat about this. I think I talked to uh yeah, yeah, pray David episode, but we talked a fair amount with her about this, and she genuinely believes it to be true. She she was arguing throughout the episode, this is a real thing I went through.

Remember in high school, played a lot of sports.

Believe it or not.

I know you're looking at me bad actne because of sweat, right, well, no bad athletes foot?

So I pee on my.

Feet in the shower.

Oh no, worked pretty well. Really, it would hear the athletes foot.

Wow, you heard it here first?

And was that where where did that come from? Were you just doing it anyways? Created the athlete's foot because I was doing it from the beginning.

No, I think my mom and I had a discussion and she was like, I think there's like really good stuff in your pee, supposedly if you pee on your feet.

I love that your mom took such a hard stance against baby pea carrying actne She's like, some, sir, you're being silly. Will don't call me with this foolishness. Pee on your feet like a man.

Kind of makes more sense the pee and then it washes off, sure, whereas the baby p, as miss Patt was talking about, stayed on your face all day long. But babyp doesn't smell as the thing, right, that was her point. I'm a father, Baby p does smell. It has a sense.

It is about a state I would probably walk.

What about the littlest babies, I'm talking like walking talking.

No, that's just a person, sure, but like fresh baby it's still it.

Is definitely not as pungent, but it is going to have a little.

Yeah, it's got a little something. What's the taste to it? Buddy? All right?

I tried to exquisite I wish I could tell you bear blue from it. He didn't give me a chance.

It is the most complicated part of the the The conspiracy theory is the acquisition of the baby P right, because you're not We're not just all you if you wanted to cure your acne, I.

Don't even want to talk about it. Sure, I don't even want to talk about I have no idea where I would go, and I am time stamp it. Yeah, and I'm saying I do not know how to don't have a connect. No, I don't have a baby P connect.

You know who does?

The Black Carney community there, that's your go to if you need. You gotta a stash of.

Baby So some of the sickest baby be available here. Just babies meet me behind the funhouse. Babies that are eating corn dogs before they have teeth, just perfect baby P. So you it sounds like are not necessarily a believer in this conspiracy theory that that baby P could cure your acne.

I look, I felt like it really did help with the athlete's foot, so I'm more prone to me. But I don't know about the application part, So I guess I don't believe in it. Enough to put it on my fat. Well, let me ask you this, would you rather your own P. I think that's not a crazy question.

That's a good question.

My own pe on my face.

Okay, but here's the situation, right, you're in the shower.

Yeah, paint a picture.

Yeah, you're in the shower.

I cut my hands, I collect some peace, and I just splash it. Well, you have to whisper like a like a like a like an after like an after shave commercial.

Kind of let it and then, like you know when you do with the hair conditioner, where you let it, maybe pull back from the water, let it soak in a minute, come back and wash your face walking around.

That I could that I could give a try.

I think I would too, because I feel like if I had really bad acne, I would be at the end of my rope and P would start to feel like you know what I mean, Well, like if you're down bad. Yeah.

Well, part of the the suggestion of even drinking your pee, right, your own P is that you already have like immunity to the toxins that you've put out of your body. Is that? Yeah?

Exactly, did you guys cover this any idea of the origin. Who's the first person to ever think, you know, let's take the diaper with the baby p and let's apply it.

Listen, I think it's like the pill. It was an accident that he was.

Gone to Okay, yeah, yeah, I don't know that we we found the origin, the source, the theory, but it certainly we talked about this with Miss Pat that it became.

It has become sort of a more popularized thing than we realized that, Like it's referred to as euro therapy, where people are in fact using you're in as sort of a way of curing ailments of various kinds.

Therapy is yeah, get some Greek food, taking nap.

Bo. Yeah, right back, we're all out here. There's a lot of good right, Yeah, you got a lot to be proud of.

Yeah like that, I know, I know, come on, I saw it. Yeah, I thought, Yeah, Jesus christ Man, we're partners. I'm a scoundrel.

What do you want with this is the podcast where you guys broke up, broke apart? Am I witnessing that?

What if Will Ferrell? I know, what if I created the rift buddy that over the euro joke. I hate to tell you you're gonna have to guest host quite a bit more.

This is going to be out of here.

I don't like that. If I don't like that at all, there's so much power in that high five. It don't do that. We both by the way, we've been planning this come on this morning. When when does the hostile takeover? When usurp the podcast from Langston?

Now it's going to be My papa told me, I don't know what that?

What that? Why you would add? You wipen it up a little bit, you broaden it. My father told me, my sweet daddy.

Yeah that is funny. Mama seems black, but Papa seems very well.

I am I am called papa by my kids.

You're a papa.

I'm a papa.

Wow.

Wow to your point, why god?

Yeah?

Yeah yeah.

Was that a conscious choice where you were like from now when I am papa or it.

Just has children to gather around, I am Papa the fire blue bow before Papa addressing me, please only refer to me as Papa.

No, it's a it's a by why Swedish, it's a it's a Swedish thing. So you have you have mama and Papa. So the boys just started calling me pap. So even my son who's about to turn twenty and be like, hey, Papa, I have a question. It's kind of funny and it sounds silly, silly, it's very euro. Do you do your kids gyro very gyro? Do your kids ever feel self conscious about about it?

Not one bit?

So it's already ingrained.

That's awesome.

And they don't because I wondered if they if because I've seen them refer to me in front of their friends.

That would be nice.

And I was like, oh, they have no, They're like, no, that's that's papa. That's my papa, Papa, my papa. My papa made me a sandwich today.

Oh my my papa. I was talking to my papa. I don't know if.

I'm that conspiratorial. And yet there are moments where I'm like, hmmm mmmm that.

That seems like that could go yeah, yeah, this way. Do you have Do you have one in particular that that comes to mind where you go like, I wouldn't say I'm fully on board, but I certainly am willing to hear it out more than others.

Here's one. Here's one that I feel like kind of checks out. This is very this is this is sports related.

Yeah, there's there.

Doesn't have to be good.

Yeah it's not.

It's but I once heard so this one always was like, I think this checks out cal Ripken who uh, cal Ripkin Junior who played for the Baltimore Orioles and had the longest stretch. Uh.

He broke lou Gerrig's record of consecutive games play baseball. And for anyone who remembers or is a big baseball fan, there was a point in his streak and he was getting towards the end where the game was called due to the electricity going out in the Baltimore Baseball Steam and they had to call the game. There was a power outage, and the story is that cal Ripken came home to find Kevin Costner cheating, his wife cheating with Kevin Coster. They had a fight, he hurt his hand. WHOA,

WHOA right, that's yeah.

Because you come home chances with wolves is dancing with your lead, with your wolf, and I should tell you what.

She doesn't like it, but that's what I call her.

She's used to it.

Now, agree to disagree. You're a wolf to me.

When I see you, I picture a wolf, a female wolf. And here's where I blew it. I ran into Kevin Costner multiple times at the Golden Globes this year, and I forgot to ask him, did you get together with? Be a weird way to launch into Hey, how you doing can by the way, I mean, how do you?

I don't know him at all, you can't. You can't start with.

He was a big but he was hanging around baseball, you know, all the dream Field of Dreams and Bull Durham. Yeah, he was always showing up, like Kevin Costner is taking batting practice today with.

The Detroit Lions or something like that. I mean Detroit Tigers. You got the Lions, You wouldn't Batting practice with the Lions would be a different thing.

Yeah.

I think the happy he showed up at this point the Lions. The Lions needed the help.

Probably. That's a sad story over there. I was just saying, if you don't know him the way you do it is like, you know what, I love having sex with baseball players? Why right do you ever just do that?

Do you know what I mean? Kevin?

Yeah, you know what I mean. You just have one to come home punch you in the base And who's your favorite wife to have sex with?

Who also played from a man who played Hall of Famer all of funny? Funny?

You should ask Will.

Who do you wins that fight? It has to be.

There's no way that he doesn't win.

Professional athlete Kevin Coschner feels like I feel like he would get I don't want to fight Kevin Coner.

No, he's a tall guy, is he? Is he tall?

Yeah, he's about six y.

Three and he and he he's a he's a he's strong.

Wrong, but he's an actor, so.

I don't know. Yeah, there's no way he's actually riding all those horses on Yellowstone, you know, no, really I think there. I think there are plenty of the man. He doesn't want to be there anymore, is my understanding. I don't think he's done right. Yeah, it's not even there's no way he's like committed to genuine horseback riding the entire time.

Man, Please let me I had to try to ride a horse for a movie, and they got me with the stunt person and they're like, well, it's it's not it won't be it won't be hard. It will just be an easy kind of trot up into the frame. And if you've ever been around a horse, they're enormous.

Terrifying, terrifying.

Yeah, they seem scared too, and they seem scared and they look at you through the side of their eye and they can sense fear.

Yeah.

Anyway, I got on the horse rode. I think they let me do two little circles and they're like, we're good, we're gonna He's just not ridder. I was that bad? Just trotting in a little stable.

Will that actually looked like ship.

You know, you know, strike it all, strag it, all, strag it all.

I'm like, I talked to the direction. I'm like, was it that bad?

They're like, yeah, they said you looked incredibly uncomfortable, So so I get it.

Yeah's if Kevin, Yeah, you man for even what, I don't think it's not great that we're just riding horses all the time.

You're sensitive, you were sensitive to the needs of the beast, and I respect that thank you. Yeah, that's why. That's why I don't ride horses.

Sure, it's the kindness.

Then you the times I have ridden horses, they're always giving me the horse named like Old Ricky sure or or whistlers cinnamon like they're not giving me, h, let's put them on striker yeah like smoke.

Yeah yeah, yeah. I I don't know that I've ever ridden a horse besides the pony rides, you know, the ones that they like that up in a in an abusive circle.

Yeah yeah, and the track is well worn in the dirt.

Yeah, they're just putting one foot in front of the other. It's just clops of their feet and tears that we didn't know there, and they're thinking, how did I get here? What did I do? Well?

Because there's a carneie in the corner smoking a cigarette making sure it doesn't mess up that boy.

Right with a cattle prod.

Yeah go.

Just the meanest people possible, abusing tiny little horses.

I mean, shout to carnies. They're good folk, though.

Yeah, we don't shout them out enough.

I know nobody gives it to them, is there?

You know?

I feel like not a lot of black carnies out there.

Trying to break them.

You're not You're not one of the last frontiers that that was in one of Martin Luther King literally flashed to every carnival You've never seen you never I'm like, yeah, I want a black.

Carneie, just like a dude with a do rag work in a tilted world. Is super skinny, messed out white guys. Yeah, female carnies. I don't think you know what the problem is. Black people don't. Black people don't smoke meth.

We we we're more cracked people, and crack don't sell well for uh maintaining horses and relationships, you know what I mean. I think I think meth is a more working, a working man's drug. I don't see.

Here's what I been different, Okay, I think that people are willing to do a lot for I think it's just we haven't been introduced to carne dumb and that's what it is.

The universe soul circus, I bet has some some black carnies.

What is that you're saying?

Universe soul circus? Y'all don't know about versus circus? No, you keep doing it. Well, that's how they say it on the radio. Come on down. Guys. I don't know if you've heard the radio commercial, but you're nailing it. You're really you're both doing it already.

Good.

There's a real circus that that is black owned and black managed. And I bet they have black carnies.

Do you think they have their own term? They call themselves BLARNEY's. I hope not.

That would be tough. I hope you don't have to write that on a resume.

That feels irish.

Yeah, that feels irish. Yeah, a blarney man.

You gotta get some more black carneies.

I know they get more black Carneys.

I'm glad we're talking about it now. Yeah, but when this drops, that will be the next thing.

People. We're gonna start a generation of young boys.

And for the record, if you are a black carnie, reach out, please send an email, ye because I want to see what you're wearing.

Yeah, show us that bendo over your shoulder. Let's let's see itating the turtle wheel. I can't say the rise.

I'm want.

Wheel.

I feel like if you let black people get hold of corn Dog production, I think we could do some really great stuff in the space. I think we should do some really innovative stuff.

I think they're going to put grits on the outside and fry it and that's going to change the game for corn dogs.

That would be crazy. Yeah, that would be crazy. It's why has it been so stagnant? Nothing's happening in corn dogs since I don't know that twenty When did corn dogs come around?

That's a great question, that's a really good question. Yeah, if Olivia were in here, we forced her to do the research.

Maybe maybe textas Olivia.

I feel like I want to look that up.

Yeah, let's look it up. Let's find out when my corn dogs invented. I'm saying that's a depression food. Oh, I'm gonna go. I'm going to go rec instruction. I'm going a little reconstruction. I think it's a little earlier. And also who takes that corn dogs? Is that American thing? Oh? Wow, We're both wrong.

Nineteen thirties is what I'm looking at.

Okay, No, I think it says the the Pronto pup vendors at the Minnesota State Fair claim to have invented the corn dog in nineteen forty one. Wow. On June sixteenth, nineteen forty six, Cozy Dog driving in Springfield, Illinois, claims to have been the first to serve corn dogs on sticks, so people were just raw dog and corn dogs with their hands. That sucks. That's awful.

That's a trash without the stick.

I hate it.

Could you imagine he was a whole knit like?

I don't.

I can't. I don't know the last time I had a corn dog? Yeah?

Good, you'll be like, no, you don't want to go back to that eat healthy? Yeah?

I mean what everyone so you could have?

I don't even know if I've been anywhere that offers a corn dog?

Got the Black Carnival mm hmm okay, which I.

Think is like an emo record. I don't know. Yeah, I mean I guess you don't see him out and about like that. Yeah, they're not. They're not as popular, I think as they used to be back when the Minnesota State Fair was was I do remember it was a staple at school lunch in elementary school at least once a week there was corn dog part of it. Yeah. And were you were you a fan? Were you happy when corn dog Day came around? Or were you like this this fucking No? I was fairly happy. I would

It's the easiest condiment.

It's like entry level.

Ronald Reagan tried to make it a.

Vegetable, So is that true? Was that a thing he was pitching that?

Now maybe that's a conspiracy too, but I think in school lunches he tried to get ketchup as a vegetable to be cheaper for to save money on the school lunch program.

Just because the cops.

The next time you get in trouble crack.

Okay, I'm gonna be honest. That was an accident. I meant to I meant to do this, boss. That's more speed. God's got Will Ferrell written all over it.

We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are now selling and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.

Just sleek, it's sexy.

Come on, you want to tell them what we have?

Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie on it says my Mama told me. And then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is.

Who you are. Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my Mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a brand new name, but it's the same old merch and we would love for you to get some if you haven't got it already, and we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so get it.

I was at an event where Stevie Wonder was the musical act at this fundraising charity thing and it took a while for like they needed.

To set up the stage, so.

People were It was at the end of the night, so like people start leaving while he's playing, and I'm doing a bit with a buddy like this is Steve, why are you You're leaving during Stevie Winter. If if he is sighted, he'd he played it. Really, There's no part of him that was like, hey, you assholes, well yeah you rich assholes like.

I'm I'm I'm playing.

But that's what don't believe that. I believe that's why I believe he can't see, because yeah, he could see, he'd have an ego about.

That, because he might even say, how's everyone? I feel like some of you were leaveing, Like he'd even like, my spidy senses are telling me, like people, please stay in your seat.

But he didn't.

He didn't.

But I bet there's a part of him that has to go like, I see you, but I'm not going to blow my bag by losing it at these people. I gotta play cool, be cool, Stevie, stay calm.

Would it take you guys got to get him? On the podcast, I'd say, are was some of them glass break him down? Just throwing balls at him from doing.

I'm blind?

How many times off the touch?

Oh my god, boy Georgian. Yeah, I'm gonna boy, George. Can I present one more piece of evidence to you guys? So, and this didn't come up on the the original podcast with Felonious, but there actually was a video that I came across pretty recently of a former band member of Stevie Wonder who talks about having watched Stevie Wonder get into a fistfight with another member of the band. So

He can handle it, but allow me allow me to kind of yeah please, it's dark, he hits him. It makes contact the sound I think it's an echo location. You think this is I think, like I think he's beating his ass via so I don't know.

He's going to be super sensitive to movement exactly. You think there's a daredevil left. That's what I think is a strategy.

Because I'll say it, I'm an emotional fighter, as I've gotten into fights where my eyes.

Were mostly closed.

Mmm, just like kind of crying and yeah, yeah, yeah, and done okay.

But but what I'll say is that when he describes the fight, he doesn't describe it as like emotional swinging. And he says that Steve hit him and goes try to move it and like square up, and like he says, Steve he never even laid a finger on Stevie. Wonder that's crazy.

It's either a miracle or he's fucking with Maybe maybe Stevie knows how to work the speedbage that is like his he's on tour, that's his workout, so he just knows. And maybe a guy's going two more steps, maybe like one of his handlers, like two more steps, there you go, and he knows how to respond.

Yeah, turn around, man, You does Stevie have an earwig? Like like you know, like assistant to the president, who's like tells you right before you're meeting someone that like, right, you met them in Nebraska two years ago. That's the mayor of this town. Like someone's in his ear yea going step, boy, George, two o'clock. Put him in a head it'd.

Be pretty funny if you put him in a headline.

I bet he's never had done. Oh yeah, that's funny, let's do it. What's up, boy, George. Guess who.

That is?

Stevie lost his ear Wick you gotta find it?

Sll out. I like, but that's right.

Someone always on a little microphone talking to Stevie.

Who was in Stevie's here though, Yeah, that's great, that's what we got. I bet you it was Barry Gordy.

But now also too. When you guys were breaking it down, the theory was that was the dispute that yes, he's talented, but he became he's more exceptional because he was quote unquote blind. Otherwise, if you didn't have that gimmick, he'd just be run of the mill musician.

I firmly believe that Stevie Wonder is a exceptional talent. With no question out then no question he is a top ten objectively, there's no question, right, I will say that I think the sale of Stevie Wonder is a lot easier if he's a little blind boy.

Uh.

Then if he's a from out of Sagas. Again, that's where Draymond's from, right, right, right. There's not a lot of heroes coming from Saginaw at this point, and I thinks I think Draymond is the reason he's blind. Draymond kicked the ship out of that little boy.

Yeah.

I don't give a ship.

I punched first, I asked questions later, and then I retire if they threatened to punish me for it.

Who's the Who's the guy? Who's the guy in the Warriors that Draymond punched out?

Jordan Poole?

Jordan Poole and no one.

There's a little No, it's not really a conspiracy. But no one.

Really jumped to the defense of Jordan Pool right. No, Yeah, I think no one really spoke up on that guy's behalf.

I think they just said, Draymond, you gotta be right, okay, But the inside scoop is that guy was bugging the ship out of everyone, and Draymond laid him out. And everyone was like thanks man, we shut it like because no one was like, hey, hey George, sorry, that's not cool. Loved everyone was like hey, things happened like right.

Also, Dreamond seems like he's if he's on your side, on your side, of course he's dirty to them, but like to do it in the house did feel a little out of character, right right, right right.

Steph Curry being in the earwig of Draymond Green punching Jordan's.

Whoa whoa.

Whisper whoa knock him the funk out.

Also, just to go with our podcast, that actually ties into the light skin rage. M that is not Draymond's dark skin tendencies. It's actually Steph Curry's light skin tendencies.

Will your thoughts so wait, educate me here the light skin rage there, there is a theory.

There is a theory that life skin people because of of the sort of like.

Not being fully accepted in the community have Also.

There's something genetically with bright eyes have.

A active rage brewing inside of us that causes us to have very sort of big short short fuses exactly tell you will it holds it holds up? Sure, do I shake him? Sometimes I do? I do, but he gets out of line and somebody's got to do it. Wow.

But yeah, no, I can see it.

Yeah, I can see. I can see your building up. Well, you're you're a you're a sportsman. Yeah, this this feels apt. I think as a question, the n b A is rigged. It was a conversation we've we've had a fair amount of times. It comes up a lot. Yeah, how how much of a believer are you in? And it can be sports in general specific whatever you prefer.

N b A.

I mean to say it's rigged. Well, there was the the ref situation right with the one guy who was shaven who got caught betting on his own game and was figured out how to make enough kind of innocious calls that would add up to.

Because he's just covering spread.

He's just covering spreads.

It's so it wasn't like losing or winning a game.

A couple of charges.

So that stuff seems real easy too.

But basketball specifically too, I don't. You can do it in other sports in the same.

Way, but that would lend itself to you want the major market teams to always win.

And as a Nuggets fan.

So denver it doesn't it doesn't lead to the conspiracy because.

Nobody wants us to win.

Against you guys. Hey, fuck you.

With your with your your gyro in the center.

There, that guy's made a gyro.

He's genetic material.

He's oh yeah, he's gone off the road for sure.

He is the most awkward moving human being ever. It looks so bad, but it were conspiracy. Does he fake that the way you run and then he blows by you.

Well, here's the thing.

Maybe that.

And he also maintains that he doesn't work out at all.

He's very red at the end of games.

Could be yeah, all right, that's your sorry. Yeah yeah.

I think he just just like sometimes sometimes just it's not graceful to be a winner. I think it's just he developed an ugly game. It's not a pretty shot necessary or anything like that. I think it's just he just has a pure eastern block will power.

Well, I think it's the beauty of learning something in isolation, right, Like he fucking learned to play basketball without any of the influence of like social He's just he's just shooting them in horses mouth, a pumpkin into a into a well or something.

You know.

Yeah, you have to crawl down and get an. I don't want to. You gotta learn to make a candial bounce off with cobbles sound like yeah, yeah. I think he just never he didn't have to look at Sean Kemp as like an influence of what Quean.

He was so cools live twelve I was. We were at a hotel in Santa Monica rewriting ELF, myself, Adam McKay and Jon Favreau, and we would we walked by this room and there's all these pizza boxes step stacked up in front of the room the door. It's Sean Camp stepping out. I might, hey, Sean, what's up?

Hey?

He that's this one he was trying to make up comeback with the clippers, and he was pizza boxes outside the room. Needless to say, Sean did not make the clippers.

I don't think.

I don't think.

But he was in training camp trying to make But we were just laughing, like, I love Sean Camp. That's beautiful. He's got the big pizza boxes.

He's not how many think he could put down in one's seven.

There were two larges, two large empty boxes. Damne.

But I don't know how many consecutive nights that was, but that was two hours tops. That not those out early, especially because he was working out. Yeah, it was, he was.

So what's the reason why NBA players always get like fat and weird looking is because they're they're burning five thousand calories.

A day and then when you shut that down, yeah, you're.

Just eating exactly the way that you ate when you without any yeah, without any exerp. High school football. Sure, Yeah, I remember when you were lane and lean and mean and then come on, look I was.

I was like, I looked like Reggie White, you know, five.

You were you are a Lakers fan, You're you're very active Lakers. You know.

That would be the only in the so I grew up in with eighties basketball. So those those Lakers Celtics battles, that's the only that's where maybe the conspiracy is true, because I could never understand how the Lakers or either team could lose by twenty and then the next turn it right back around. But they always say, oh, they make great adjustments. What our adjustment? Yeah, I don't really know. I don't know either to like, what is it? What

I don't know, I don't know. Yeah, it turns out a bunch of our guys were on cocaine last night and now they're not, and they're playing way better. Fellows, fellaws.

Let's try to cut back on the cocaine and let's.

Make a quick adjustment with less cocaine. But that always and I'm like, oh, did they just want this to go seven games? Because the league want that to go. Yeah, But even even thinking about, like that very infamous trade that never happened with Chris Paul coming to the Lakers shut down, David Stern actively shut down. That doesn't feel like a ringing.

To you, complaining from Dan Gilbert, right, the owner of the Yeah, that feels pretty.

I don't trust David Stern.

Well, he's gone, like that's just an idea.

I don't any of his dealings with in the NBA. I don't. I feel if there was ever an era that it was rigged.

You feel like the David Stern era feels most active.

Here's what I know is rigged for sure. The player's exuberance towards the in season tournament.

What are we doing that is so fake. That ship that is so like, this is exciting. Hey, we're all about championship championships. It doesn't matter if it's middle of the season or into Yeah, that was the most hodge podge No, I I just know the league was like Lebron, please, can you just say how exciting this is? And he's like, okay, I'll do my part. Yeah, I'll say something. I'll say something. But then all of a sudden, Kevin Durant is like, this is so exciting and he hadn't said anything, and

That's rig Yeah, that right, there was rig. I think so for sure I agree with that. So partial rig partial rigging.

I certainly think if nothing else, we can agree that the incentives that they create via the money that these players can earn sort of rigs the system right naturally, Like they're they play hard in the nd season tournament because there's five hundred thousand dollars promise to them if they win the game.

Also to I love the Lakers bench players praising Lebron for playing hard so that they could get their five hundred k they won five hundred thousand, but Ad and those guys weren't like, why don't you guys give your five hundred k and split it up with the bench players? Yeah, you're really like if that that would really that would be that would self. But then they're like, I mean, I gotta give it up to Lebron so hard. He gave full effort so we could win.

That was pretty cool of him until that we could win.

Maybe it just gives over you don't need that money, yeah, right, turns out your ability there you Maybe that's maybe that's easy for me to say.

Yeah anyway, Yeah, it's easy for me to say too, I don't have any money.

However, maybe give it to two funny podcasts.

Yeah, maybe two guys. You know, one's a father, the other one could.

Be maybe they have any day now he could be a five. Yeah, and we have.

Stuff we're trying to get in on, you know what I mean. I'm trying to start a black soap company like every other.

Time, I'm trying to rig my own sports leagues. That would be amazing, my Mama told me. Is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by Langston Correct, co hosted by David Bori.

Executive produced by Will Farrell, Hansani and Olivia Akilon.

Co produced by Bee Wayne, edited and engineered by Justin Kommon, music by Nick Chambers, artwork by Dogon Kreega. You can now watch episodes of My Mama Told Me on YouTube. Follow at My Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel