Coach Dr. Umar’s School of Black Excellence (with Langston and David)

Racist stuff. I can't tell me.

The C stands for cool Breeze, Who's noticed the chap? Freddy Calhoun, the coolest cut at Camp My ones in My two's got your wholetown shook Better listen to your corner and watch for the hook. Welcome Little Mama's and gentiles alike to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theory.

And we don't prove anything, We don't teach you anything.

We have nothing for you. That could not be more true. But there is someone out there who does have something for them. Oh, this is exciting news. It's not breaking news. You yourself are probably aware of this, but I couldn't have been more excited. Doctor Umar has revealed a school. No today, no over the weekend. He revealed that he does in fact have a facility. He showed us. He showed us video of him walking through the school. He shows us video of him.

Pressing the.

Sinks to show that the water is running. He shows the exterior of the school, which has portraits of different black figures, including some of some of the greatest revolutionaries in history. Doctor Umar tells us that the school is ready to go. They just need a couple more clearances. Yeah, a couple more checkpoints.

They in the state of Florida. Is I don't know where the school is. You can't tell them, you can't reveal the location.

That that is a troubling part of it is there's not a lot of.

Details of what corners you can find the school on or I would like to know what school district. It does not exist in the district that much. I'm sure, bro, you know what My first question is, truly, so it's a school. Is it supposed to be elementary age? Elementary? Okay? My major question, and I think we could.

I don't know what range it goes up to. Certainly there are elementary deaths in the school.

Whatever the range is my question? What is the mascot? But yeah, because the colors, I assume a red, black, and green. Goa. You gotta some that it's gotta be right.

Yeah, there's no adjective for sank kophas, you know what I mean, the silly say no, but I think he's got to have like I think it should be like the fighting Yeah, fighting for sure, abolitionists, right.

You could even make it a person. Yeah, like it could be the Du Boys, but you don't want to.

You don't want a foam man.

That's the worm w E B Boys. That's a worry dressed up like one of those mascots. Yeah, you see it like that. It's still balding. It still looks like w B DU Boys.

And then you gotta see w B D Boys get sturdy. He's lips the US popcorn.

Damn. W B D Boys can dunk?

Yeah?

Yeah you trampoline, trampoline, No, we got. I really would like to know what the mask because I assume there will be athletics.

You gotta assume that, doctor Umar, if you're collecting all of these true African kids.

Maybe a mistake to not let them hoop a little bit. I think you kind of have to. You gotta do something, which then maybe are we talking? Is this like a Donda Academy? What if it becomes a basketball powerhouse? Move over to Hurricane Yeah, we gotta yeah.

Fuck, that's like, I'm so curious about the extra clubs.

Is there a Spanish club? Probably not.

I think I think the unfortunate reality is I'm not sure that doctor Umar has envisioned this far. But I think that if he were truly treating this as a school to create opportunity for these kids, it is not to do it in isolation. It's not to put them in this building and just have them learn your thoughts and make them like, study your shit and somehow they'll

That's what I'm saying. Stand on it. Yes, play these white schools. Play it. Play these Mexicans school.

Call them all the words that you've been learning in school. Yeah, come on, and now we're fighting. Come on, now we've gotten Now we've got a rival.

Yeah, to bring it to the paint, bring it to a problem with my ethics, my teachings. Bring it to the paint. And I assume he would also head coach, for which you would pay himself a handsome salary. Coach Umar sounds bro.

You know he's going coaching doctor Uma, coach Doctor. You know that doctor gotta stay in there.

Our team circle up on coach doctor. The good coach.

Doctor said, we gotta run thirteen suicides.

Yo, imagine the assistant coach at Coach Doctors school, because you know how the assistant coach is always kind of not on some host shit, but he's always like coach doctor Wort's hard.

Coach doctor Wort's.

Hard, and I don't want to see you guys slick it off, like bro, you have to.

You have to be willing to defend a man against children, which is never should never be the situation.

You should never be.

Standing in front of a room full of children and saying he's.

Right and you're wrong.

Kids.

I remember even as a kid, like a high school age, like thinking like man like assistant coaches be like, man, you gotta go with your wife after this. Yeah you're yelling, like you're yelling at me about how I'm talking to that man who talks to me crazy. Right.

There were only two versions of assistant coaches. They were either like absolute like host like up the coaches.

As yeah like Sam Jackson and Django, Yeah exactly, huh.

It's Steve Big Stephen Vibe. Yeah that was he assisted ass coach. Yeah, whatever play you want, I wouldn't know, boy's right running the trap boss. There was that, but then the alternative was like real chill guy, cool.

Cool assistant coach was important. That was to mister Wilson. Yeah, the coach we all assume smokes weed.

They they were the one that smokes weed. Yeah, is real cool because you can you get yelled at by a different dude. Yeah, and then you can kind of slide over there with him and he can talk you through.

Yeah. Not a solution, no, he Because the thing about coolest isn't coach, not even particularly sure he knows all the rules of the game.

He doesn't have a lot of power there. You can tell he's more just a vibe dude. Yeah, and he's awesome for your vibe. But man, is he useless as far as like getting you back in the game. He drawn up one play this whole year. He can't even tap the coach to be like I think he's ready. No, yeah, he can't. Na he can't do anything. They say stick to special teams. Yep, you got JV.

You know who's worse, And I would be interested. I don't know if this is the same parallel in women's sports, but I know this happened for us. The worst coach ex player coach. I remember the one on our football team where it's like, bro, you're like six years older than me. WHOA, what do you do? Did you?

Did?

You?

Guys? Have you guys have that? That might be a heavy football thing too. We had it at for our high school basketball.

A bunch of them were ex players. My head coach when I was playing was a former not the head head coach of varsity, but the head coach of sophomore basketball when I was playing, was an ex player, and he was one of them dudes that like would if you fucked up, he'd get out there and show you how it's done. And man, that sucked. That sucks so bad when you watch a forty year old man slap the floor. Yeah, and play hard against your friends either way, and then you.

Know its tender profile says works with kids. Bro, bro, Hey, if any women have access to assistant coach tender profiles, we will pay money. Probably not, but we would really like to see that. I would like to see some assistant coach tender profile. I'd like to see teacher profile tender profiles in general. Yeah, I'm good on teachers. Oh well you were inside baseball.

Yeah, I want to see he said, I'm good on teachers. Yeah, I know what that is. You know what I mean. You already got on a work show, so you took the picture there. Yeah yeah, yeah, you think it's handsome and perhaps people that see this will but like yo just reads of dork in a way that.

It's so tough in life when your work shirts are your best shirts. Bro. I had a time when I was probably like I was probably like nineteen down, bad, damn near homeless in the car. Sometimes I worked at Target. My work shirts were my good shirts and they were Target red Polos. They only got one shirt over there, Target red Polos, Dicky's double these neat Khaki's. And I would just I would go to the party in the Target shirt because I was my so many times, man, and just haha, just.

Whoa.

Yeah.

I had to play it off, yeah yeah, because you're like, nah, it's my good shit.

Yeah yeah, because my only other good were pair of clothes, the three X G unit jacket. I got it, t J max Is Jude. I just can't pull it off. God damn, this sucks. This isn't a tough opening.

Yeah, this is a nightmare. But you didn't have that when you were teaching it all.

Well, you said bow ties bow ties went both ways for you, but I got I caught it in.

A in a huge save for my for my life at the time. I caught that beautiful wave where we were dressing up to go out. Yeah, oh that's you, you know what I mean? So like I could literally get off work and have on clothes that I could go out in it.

I could play that off easy. Did it feel crazy to mold mines and then try to go get pussy in the same outfit?

Uh? I made peace with it pretty pretty quickly.

Once I got that cracking. Yeah, I forget what's that rum?

Hits?

What's that rum? Funny?

Yeah?

No, I you do feel crazy at first, yeah, but then you go, well, this is just functionality.

This right, this makes everything easy.

I could because I could go do uh, I could I could teach, I could go do a show, and then I could go out all in the same boat tide outfit.

It's a streamlined experience.

Bro.

It was that synergy.

That's what that means, right, That's what that common poem was about. Yeah, it's about we're in the same outfit, We're that same out TV where that same outfit from go karts to the club.

Yo, bro. I remember when I first started comedy, I was working at a casino, so I had to like it was like business casual, but my pockets were sewn up. Fuck. So I'd be out trying to like, you know, get something going. You gotta get a little motion in the same talking to girls and ship like that, and like, what's wrong with your fucking they So they sew your

I would do what I would grab are and you're like what the fuck? Yeah, it took a while to like break that unlearned. Yeah, because I worked there for like a year and a half. That's a long time.

Yeah, flipping your hands up.

Yeah, shut out to the FBI though, Oh yeah they helped you quit.

Yeah yeah yeah, I yah yeah that God damn.

Umar.

Umar should really start to think about what what this school could be.

I think because in the way that decorations make a house a home, I think that extra curriculars make a school an institution.

And I will say that from the footage he showed us, Uh, there was no decoration.

That's that's a problem.

It is a lot of empty rooms, a lot of unfurnished rooms. The water is running in this building that he claims this is again, I'm not one hundred percent sure on even that.

That shouldn't be the thing.

You have to show that you have a better I think books is probably good.

There are none, not.

The water works, not a book has been purchased, not a not, not a staff member in sight. It is just doctor walking through what is technically a school building.

You know what else I'm now I'm really thinking about it. You know what else? I'm curious about? School lunches? Okay, what is the cuisine at doctor at u of m Academy. I don't know what he's gonna call it.

I think it's the Frederick Douglas.

Oh, that's right, he has said something like that.

But this is a big question because now doctor Rumar is being put in a very complicated position. We're talking about the empowerment of black youth and the future of this world. You feeding them cheese sandwiches is unacceptable.

Not gonna cut it.

That's not the future you're promising us now.

Is the cafeteria primarily African American cuisine?

And that's a great question. I would assume he actually would go full Pan African and make it.

Like, oh like Foo food and stuff.

Yeah, Like he'd go like international black with it.

Gary. That'd be weird.

Yeah, I mean I would eat African food at school. But I bet, I bet in his heart of hearts it's a new cuisine every day, all the places where we're from.

And then for punishment, he's like, here's some Polish food.

Yeah, yeah, you showed up late for the third time, Maurice. It's bush today, and that's too bad because we're han't been out a pudding. Yeah, it's Auntie day. Bro.

It's just like the opportunity for shenanigans is so high.

I'm really impressed with his ability to keep.

The ball in the air. It's been a long time. It's been a long time. And that was a lot of the feedback.

I should say that that part of the way that I came across this is because Charlemagne, the god we love him over, can't get enough of that guy. I think he's funny and smart. Charlemagne had posted uh uh reposted Umar posting it being like y'all said it wouldn't happen.

What y'all gotta say now is he going to send his kids and that?

And that's where it gets nasty, right, is that now we're in this this complicated game of him having somewhat achieved a goal he claimed to achieve, thus proving everything he's ever said to be true for a small pocket of people.

Because like it's it's probably gonna be private. It's real, Okay, if we're playing the game. I played the game play, we're playing the game. You have to play the game.

But we should acknowledge this is a lie.

Yeah, no, there would be books probably.

Yeah.

I think I think this is like a triple beam scale, some kind of a Bunsen Burmer, because it's gonna also yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're making it so that like, oh, you showed me a facility, Thus the facility becomes real, and then you'll find other checkpoints to create so that we are never actually entering this building.

Because I also worry, Yeah, is this going to be like a boarding school? Is there gonna be dormitories? I didn't get that vibe.

Okay, Okay, this is to drop them off the for the some Philadelphia community.

Okay, that's probably. Man. I wonder what pickup line at.

D And that's also scary because you're asking people to send their kids to this school that theoretically is is.

Steeped in controversy.

Yeah, that's that's a scary thing as a parent to imagine, like I'm gonna put my kid in doctor Umar's school and he's gonna be online calling white people the devil and maybe somebody retaliates.

Maybe there's some version. So I didn't even think about that. That's so much more responsible than hows. Well, there will be armed guards.

I would hope. So, I mean they certainly weren't at that walkthrough.

Listen, man, Yeah, I hate to be on doctor Umar's side. It was just a walk through. Yeah, granted I haven't seen it. I just do my own shit this weekend.

Yeah, that's not your responsibility in this podcast. I keep up with the you mar stuff. Yeah, you focus more one.

And it works for us. He're here. I think I need to show you. Yeah, I think maybe I need to see it because I'm like, I'm whereas you sound. Uh, you sound like the game. I'm excited to see a vision come together. I love when a plan comes together.

I'm not mad at it. I just uh am not a believer necessarily. But maybe I'm wrong.

Okay, let me look at your school, bro and sisters.

We are complete, and we are ready to decorate for our children. We are ready to decorate for our community again. And he said we stole the money. They say they would never be no school. But I'm here to tell you today the school is done and the school is ready.

Those floors, brothers and sisters, we ready. It doesn't look like kness.

We will be learning. We are ready, brothers. And look at the shine on that floor, brothers and sisters.

And you built this ready for academic revolution.

Oh you're ready for in these sacred classrooms, in these sacred walls, there will be an accritus.

For a second. Here's what I'll say that is good or bad.

It does look like a school in Africa. You think he was modeling it off of a place that was struggling with resources.

The school right outside my grandpa's been looks kind of like that. Yeah, I got unco works at the school looks kind of similar. Yeah. I think if that's the vibe he's going for.

I think it looks a little bit like you aren't telling us the whole story of this school. I don't like how much time he spent on the bathroom. You didn't build this from the ground up.

Yeah, and the bathroom is like, I don't want to say, the least important room in the school. But if we're talking about areas, that's maybe not what I'm worried about.

I really like to see that classroom first.

I would like to see the classroom. Yeah, but you saw he did show one showed classrooms. So how many deaths was that? That seemed like a good classroom side. It didn't seem like the amount of deaths that would have a school be overcrowded. No, it was a lot of desk.

For one room and then none for the rest.

Uh and desks you know, you could get desks.

Yeah, you can get desks, for sure. They are expensive, well, but you can.

Even when I was a kid during the war, we my mom and some people we uh, we filled a container with school supplies the donation and senate tocerely on gang of desks in there. Here's gang of desks in there.

Here's what I'll say that that put me off the most and made me feel the most. This is what turned me into the detective I've become. Inside of this, the colors don't match what he says.

He's building, the colors of the school.

There's no like African nize color scheme.

Inside of this. I was just saying that yellow there's a lot of that in Africa, that color of buildings, Right, you've been Africa yellow buildings, Yeah there, But I'm saying that blue yellow low combo.

Yeah, it just feels halphazard in a way that doesn't feel like you worked on this.

Okay, here's what I'll say. Yeah, I assume that the blue in the bathroom is the boys room. Because he also showed the you're know with the censors that may or may not look at your penis.

Yeah, we were real dismissive of it being cameras, and then people online were like, nah, it's cameras.

Yeah, people really felt that, and maybe we're wrong on this. I don't have any way to feel. If it is a camera, it's too late. I've never cracked one open. So maybe maybe we're fools. The world will see my soft meat. Thank god I'm married. Yeah, it's a bummer if that gets out. That's not really what you that's not what you want to lead. That's not good news.

That's all what you want to lead as a bad news day for me. Yeah, if this gets out to the world, yeah, shout out to people who have admirable soft meat.

I really how I was raised.

It's it's the time that I that I respect a man the most.

It's not business.

It's certainly not this dumb shit we do no god no, But if you can pull your dick out and not be embarrassed, just on you, sir, have your way with whatever you need in my home.

It's a different lifestyle. Yeah, you live a different life. Listen, man, though I want this, I want this school to work out. I want at least I would like, here's what I would love. I would just love to see and maybe this is where we go into our filmmaking bag yep. I would like to document the first graduating class of Frederick, like the first class who entered what is it K through eight? Maybe the first class who entered K through eight graduated eight? Great. I love to track what they

And here's what I'll say. I'm rooting for everyone who's invested in this to get what they invested in. Yeah, you know what I mean that Like, if you did, in fact, go, I would like to see what Doctor Umar's school look like.

I think you deserve that school.

Yeah, And if that is a space where you feel comfortable sending your kids, you should send them there. And I would love for that you to be able to feel what you believe then because maybe you're right, yeah, and this does create a better generation of kids, or maybe you're wrong, and that's an important lesson for you and yours in the future.

Listen, I think it's all about supporting casts now, doctor Lumar, Uh huh, who do you feel that school with probably no more podcasters, Yeah, please, no more, no more podcasters. Yeah, probably maybe get some ex athletes. Yep, you know what I'm saying. I'm sure Nate Robinson could coach Jim or something.

Yeah, Nate little coaching, a little coach and eight. I will say that that now that he got knocked out by Jake Paul, I do struggle to see Nate Robinson as the god that I once saw him as.

No, I don't agree. You don't see it that way. That sucked. Yeah, it was a bad day. He's a basketball player. Yep, you shouldn't even be over here fighting. I don't disagree with you. But he's little. Jake's big.

But part of it was that Nate Robinson was like the buffist. He was really little buff and was banging on dudes watching him. He was like he was.

They didn't even like fighting with him. Yeah, nobody liked fighting with Nate Robinson. Yeah. Remember when he jumped over Dwight Howard. Yeah, man, that was so cool.

He was he was a little scrappy doom motherfucker, and then we saw him get clean clocked the fuck out, and it's.

It just sucks.

Man.

I feel like people got to quit fighting. Nobody should be doing that. Everybody's got a quit fighting. Why are you fighting? Stop it? It's you're not gonna win. And even if you win, you're not gonna win. It's it's all a losing game for everybody involved. Like we're still not going to be talking about super hot fire in five years. No, Like, and he defeated one of the greatest men of all generation. He took down, he took down Zeus. Yeah, he climbed.

Olympus, Zeus par parentheses network, Yeah, Zeus close parentheses. Oh man, Yeah, we gotta stop. There's no bag that I would get that would like be worth the fall the fallout of it.

No, it's not. It's not worth it. And like, if you're down, it's not gonna bring you back up, And if you're up, I feel like it's only gonna bring you down.

I also, and I gotta be honest, I also think I was really counting on Nate Robinson back there. Oh you thought that I really was, like, bro, he the athlete that he is. Yes, so godlike, right, I would argue Nate Robinson might be, if not the greatest, the he's in the top three of like dudes under six feet playing who played in the NBA.

Und probably even better. Yeah, it's just because I feel.

Like, would you put under six feet because Iverson's like six to one.

That's true, That's exactly what I was thinking of.

I think most guys are like six feet and above, right, Like, I think it really is a sensational motherfucker that's like under six feet doing it. There's Paul six 'y three. Yeah, I was a big girl boy kNs guy that Isaac's flexing on us, having met Chris Paul Notorious Clipper. Yeah, which I did tell my family this weekend that the Clippers is the Korean team.

They think I'm very kore love the Clippers. Yeah. Wow, how did that happen? Well, I learned it because I went to the stadium.

Oh okay, you just looked around. I said, well, okay, it's a little different seeing a lot of Isaac's around.

I didn't say smell. I didn't say it smells like anything Isaac said, smells like kim Chi. I did not comment on any smells I did or did not notice and into it dome.

I will say that smell is the most like, oh you're racist for real? Choice Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you go like this is what they smell like, Yeah you go, okay, smells.

Smells is the most racist thing.

Because we all do smell the certain smells. Yeah, but you keep that one to yourself.

You don't say anything that's I love this, you say, I take dates here all the time.

It's very authentic. That's why I enjoy it the most.

Yeah, because every cuisine's got some crazy smell. Crazy smells is part of it. That's the point. Yeah, if it doesn't smell crazy a little bit, what are you doing?

You gotta scare yourself with a little odor?

Oh yeah, I like a pungent plate. No that sound crazy? Yeah, press you guys. No, my tastes are actually more pedestrian than i'd likely.

My I think my larger point is that Nate Robinson for me stood as like this this untouchable athlete in a way that I was like, certainly, this this fucking YouTuber cannot penetrate, and then he knocked out in a way that was so embarrassing.

I mean, first of all, you're operating under the illusion that these are real fights, yep, which is not. That's already not. Oh you don't even feel like this, you feel like this was predetermined in some I think Jake Paul is only going to lose to who he's supposed to lose to, and you know he's fighting sixty year old, Like, come on, but you don't think Nate Robinson took a fall. I think that Jake Paul is a much more experienced boxer. Yeah.

I think I think for me, he just had become my champion. Yeah, And I think the you're you're right, The reality is is that Jake Paul is like six to two, probably weighs sixty pounds.

More than Nate Robinson and not unathletic. I'm not saying Jake Paul is even a professional, but he's like an athlete. I think he's and he boxes.

He's much more capable than anybody expected him to be. I don't think that like up against a real fighter as we saw anywhere near what he actually is competing at that he's real competition.

But I think that that he he could fuck up a regular dude. Pretty yeah. I hate it on the outside. On the inside, probably pretty fun career, awesome career, just like be a boxer without really being a boxer.

You never you have so much money that they're never going to make you actually test this ship.

Yeah, that's what's gonna happen. When I started my jazz career after this, it'd be like, I guess he's okay. The phone Stella.

David exclusively scats Now you said that video don cheatlescatting no on Rocky Mountain PBS when he was in high school.

No, I want to see that. Oh man, let me find it. Keep talking, I'll find it. Yeah, I I uh Nate.

We certainly Umar, we wish you the best with your school, and we believe in you and we cannot wait to go to the season opener for the fighting Applie.

I'm buying gear. Yeah, I'm buying all.

Man, If you start making gear for the school, I'm not gonna call it merch. I don't want to come outify it in that way. You got children, and it is for support.

It is for support.

If you start a booster club where you make your clothes available, I promise you, sir, you will have a number of purchases made here on. My mama told me, man, come on, I'm gonna get Stella bandana. We are finding something for everyone in our household.

You're gonna have the babies decked out. Come on, it's gonna say, it's gonna say future Frederick Douglas. Yeah, absolutely, I love that. I listen if that.

If he gets to school off the ground and they con he in athletics, yeah, we will travel to a game and vloggie, what's a game? I'm getting season tickets, Bake, I'm moving my I'm moving my family to whatever remote part of Philadelphia you're building this.

Then, by the way, concessions of a doctor umar game. Come on, concession is gonna go crazy, real crazy. They're gonna have They're gonna have skewers, them hot dogs getting grilled.

Yeah.

Oh, Burt Burt Lake. Yeah, man, we should just let us run it.

He he needs to take his hands off the wheel, yes, and let and let some actual visionaries take over from here, because I do think he is a visionary in that he's imagining an alternative world where like he can actually transform the experience for black and brown people in in the world. Like he really is a visionary in that sense a way that you and I don't see ourselves. We are not taking on those challenges of transformation for the world.

Yeah, in my in my brain, I see myself that way. But I know enough to never enact the crazy ideas that I have and it doesn't make it past here.

And we need somebody with his ambition who can do that. We need somebody who's gonna get the water turned on, get that water turned on. I wasn't gonna do that. I didn't know how brother, You know how much stuff I thought would be cool. Yeah, I bought a bodyboard the other day.

You and for one of the kids. They're out there going crazy. Yeah yeah, But my.

Point is is that here is this beautiful opportunity. You've created the facility, you've you've painted the walls blue and red for some reason. But here we are with this beautiful opportunity where you hand over the keys and you go, fellas, get to making some gym T shirts, That's what I'm saying. Get to really imagining what kind of books and lunches can happen here in this Forrederick Douglas building.

Get us the mural on the first entryway. Yep, you know that the school mural that they always had, and he has one. You should know that, bro, it's gonna go crazy. He does have one of those right now? Does have one already? See, my man, he it's like you said, he is thinking. He's thinking. He's not not thinking, he's not not thinking.

He's It's not careless, it's not careless, but it isn't quite as thought out as needed to be.

And I don't know about the specifics whose name is that water Biling. I don't know that. I don't know that he knows that.

Grand opening coming soon for those who have donated him Grand Marcus called me the Honorable Frederick Douglass, the Prophet, that Turner and the Emperor John Jack deslist. Where my Haitian Africans at? Where are my Haitian that Turner land? I'm gonna see you on Thursday, my brother.

My favorite part of the video is that at one point he's walking through the building and he thanks everybody from everywhere. He says, my my Connecticut Africans, my my Phoenix afric loves my Chicago Africans, Miami, and he literally goes to every may he gets. He gets international on the list.

I'm getting fucking hyped. He hits everybody because he and he is. He's hyping you up, and you goucks man. We did we we all did this and I didn't do nothing. But I'm like, damn, we did this.

Yeah, yeah go.

Here's a question for you. I have, honestly, how many more single line parts do I have to get in Matt Damon Movies, Oh to receive an honorary doctorate yep, from doctor Umar's K through eight? Like, what could do I have to accomplish that he would let me do that? You don't think I.

Think you're gonna have to do something purely black, like kill a guy, kill a white guy. I don't mean black. I mean for doctor Umar, white guy. Everybody kills people.

I'm saying.

I'm saying that like doctor Umar, part of his game is to always call people combs. And it's so long as you are a single line and a Matt Damon film, you are a coon to him.

I would love to get a single line in Nemesis.

And that's the I would love to Yeah, I think for these is not calling me.

I think for him, that's what.

He needs in order to feel like you are worthy of the honorary degree. But I'm not suggesting you're a coon. I just am suggesting doctor Umar would as he would me. I'll never get my name on that building. I've done too much on the internet, you know what I mean.

Like he that's really the hardest part about all this is to turn it back inwards, is that we can't get down. Yeah.

No, he's never gonna fuck with us like that. But that doesn't change my want to support him.

Yeah, I'll still go to the game.

Yeah, I'm still a fan of him, even if he's not a fan of me.

Yeah. I really do feel that way, and that's how you know you're a fan. Yeah, you are. I feel like a lot of times it comes off tongue in cheek on this, but as an entertainer, I think entertainer.

Thank your time. It's a scary word. I get stumbled up all the time.

He's in the tough on entertainer. I think that he You are a true fan of him.

I think he's maybe one of the best entertainers we've ever experienced online.

You hear that, Cedric, you are the entertainers the other one.

But I think that doctor Umara sends even past because he's so effective in being both like slightly convincing and funny the whole time.

Yeah, but also good at his d I was hyped like him in front of that mural I was excited. I'm still kind of excited.

We we should tell them we've tried to have doctor Umar on the show before. Yeah, we've actively pursued doctor Umar.

We didn't have it in the budget. Maybe this new network that we're trying to get locked in. Yeah, in a way that that.

That really felt even more telling to to why I love him so much. We we emailed doctor Umar or Doctor Umar emailed back immediately. It wasn't even like a long wait, we don't know if it was him. Well, doctor Umar's team emails back immediately, they go, thank you for your interests. It will be five seventy five hundred in person, it will be five thousand for a zoom recording, plus a hotel and expenses, flight, hotel and expenses.

And if I had it like that, yeah, that's the That was the tough thing about that is I think we talked about it. We were like, if it was in the budget, I would pay top.

Dollar for a hundred no question, you don't miss.

And and by the way, paid seventy five hundred twelve all said, all said twelve five. All in paid twelve five for what will most definitely be a terrible episode. Yeah, that's that's how much we're I wouldn't gonna be good, we wouldn't have fun even for a minute. No, he would hate us.

We're gonna bring him in my room. He's gotta see Stella. I got a hairless caddy here.

Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be awful.

He's really gonna look at these walls and he's gonna have complicated feelings about what the fuck this is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, we have a Korean man in a closet.

Yeah yeah, I forgot that he would have to process that alone.

Yeah, alone figuring out what to do. It's it's honestly seeing the Isaac, doctor Umar, you would be worth the memory.

He goes, and there was an Isaac.

I spoke too, and there, Yeah, you're right in there. You know what's weird? And maybe this is crazy to say. I bet doctor Umar smells amazing. I can see that. I bet it's like a very distinct, like a woody scent, like strong wood, which is like I've been thinking about

I am finding myself shifting into manlier sense.

Saying, bro, my cologne is like a it's like it's like dense.

I think I'm still not quite a dense levels. I think I'm still cowering away from that. But I think that's my own weakness more than me being honest with Yeah, what I should be doing? Men should smell like wooden beer. Yeah, yeah, a little bit of tobacco.

What's that chainsaw? Oh no, that's black a bile. Yeah, we should take a break.

Yeah all right, more David, more langs than more.

My mama told me.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way?

Oh what bird it is to sing on Channel six to day bad?

Do not blown?

Do do do?

Do? Do? Do? Do?

These white people are fed up with him. That girl's face.

Boy ba ba ba up now now you you know it's you. I hope that you learn me too. Oh yes, yep, I really do. I wouldn't lie to you you're starts up because I hope that you love me too. Just keep talking to me, you know it feels so good. I love your eyes.

This isn't even a part of jingle bells.

I love those eyes.

Those let those go?

Don Can we pause it for one second? At no point in jingle bells does somebody demand that they they fuck now? No, no, no, no, it's jingle all the way. Yeah, and I'm.

Sorry I got upset and knocking everything over.

It's ellen. You can't do this this is nuts, sweetheart, and you're a beautiful girl. Gotta get out of here. You're a beautiful girl. I'm a big fan of you. She wants to get up now because she's her body is weird, so she can't like move. Yeah, all right, got it. You're a beautiful girl. But it's too much. It's too much. No, okay. So here's what I think about that video. Yeah, I think it makes me love don Cheeto.

I think they're like, let's just go ahead and fuck with these uh, because he's being very flippant. He's being very casual, very even remember what channel he was on. He said, Oh what fun it is to sing on Channel six today? He's not he didn't take this seriously at all.

He brought his man. His man can't sing. Yeah, and he's like, just just tell me how handsome I am.

While I sketch. And from being from Denver, I know what happened. They had that white fucking choir and they said, oh no, we need to like we need to we need to like we can't just have this white choir.

You think Denver was on like identity politics early.

I think that I think that somebody said there's this talented young boy who goes to East High School. Yeah, I saw him in the play. He'd be perfect to spice up this Donald Romayne Shant.

I don't know why his name is that because he gets l oh, he's getting to that green.

I think that him and his friend know that this is silly, and I think they're they're I think I think they're like getting everybody.

Fuck cause, like you saw that, he knows it's ridiculous. Yeah, that was he was being hilarious.

No, he was being really funny and and also, like you said, very flippant about the ship. It didn't even feel like he was trying to sing his best. No, he was being really casual about singing in a way that that Yeah, it didn't feel it was very confusing.

But you see how the whites in the back are taking it really seriously.

They were taking it very seriously. And they also did not seem happy with the way that he was being capalier.

Mmmm.

They seem like they were like resentful of being in the back while he was up there being a good time.

Gal So once again out to say shout out to don Chito's greatest Denver native All shout out to don cheito.

He he was.

That was really cool. I think he might be.

He might be in the top ten for me of guests that we I've dreamt of. Man.

I think he'd be fun. I think he's all. I think he's great. I really dark skinned hero.

I think he would get in the eighties right away. He would know like this this stupid Yeah.

Yeah, no, we someday, man someday. And if any of you guys have connects, I think he's related to Chauncey Billups somehow.

I don't know if that helps. They kind of look like they would be. They got that head shape, you know what I mean, they both went, they both lead.

With head, rocky mountain head. Yeah, I think, I know. I know. I met a guy in Dever who's his nephew who'd be out sometimes. Damn. That boy looks like DoD Damn.

He might be my favorite black actor dark sid you mean, I just think in general, Oh yeah, my favorites are usually cut off that way.

Okay, I don't usually go. I wish I could say black lights and this is where because we're doing sometimes.

And I don't know that and we've had this argument before, and I certainly don't mean to rehash it, because you all could not have been meaner to me about it. You nasty motherfuckers. The way you spoke to me about about what I said, which I stand behind, which was specifically a list. You really don't need to do this, But you're right. I'm not going to bring it back up. But boy, were you mad at me about my previous thoughts on light skin celebrity?

Uh?

And and I think because we have so few, I think I collect black. It's a lot easier to have a favorite when when the light skin one. When there are so few, you're like James Earl Jones.

I guess, yeah, yeah, I mean I'm the darkest though, so there's like not I never saw anybody on TV who looked at its close. That's what I'm saying. He is, you know what I'm saying, Yeah, King, King, King, He good man, that boy good. He's good at and he's good at all of it. He could do anything. He could be funny, he could be African. Yeah, he did that once. He did it. You know who didn't do that? You me and Will Smith?

Not?

Well, nah, he didn't do it too good, did do a good job at all. I'll say this, didn't see ain't do it that good? I know it.

Don Cheetle the only one that put on that British accent. I go, that's pretty good.

You know who did good? Forest Whittaker. Forest Whittaker didre.

He went crazy. Forest Whitaker really went He went really crazy. Forest Whittaker went nuts in a way where like Hollywood had to take him seriously in a way that they didn't want to.

Yeah.

Just for years they had kind of like pushed Forest Whittaker off on like oh, he's like it will let him be like a bad guy and our ship, but we're not gonna let him be like a star.

Yeah.

And then and then he that King of scott Scotland. They were like, ah, man, we gotta give it to you.

You're a star. You know what I like about Forest Whittaker. He does the thing that a lot of like white actors that you always remember is a very strange speech pattern.

Uh huh.

It's like black Christopher walking. Yeah, and that's a lot of fun.

I do think that at some point you gotta take yourself seriously enough that you gotta stop talking like you used to talk.

Yeah, you know what I mean? Where you go like, no, if I'm gonna be the artist I.

Claim to be, there can't be any remnant of a little boy what I once was. So you just changed the whole vibe.

That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go like Madonna did. I'm gonna get British leader. You know, my mama tell me, oh, he was upstairs. I don't have a lot of words right now, but I'm working.

Yeah.

No, it sounds like shit.

I sound like shit, but certainly I do think that that's how you free yourself of who you were.

Is what would you who would you talk like if you had to like completely if you had to go full artists mode, like no more comedies for you, straight up dramas and like dramas where you're trying to get your son back. You know, you're a binging a dad, you know, like a late stage Russell Crowe. No, I don't know that.

I'm sorry, Russell Crowe is fighting everybody. No, just Russell Crowe now is like much more gravelly and kind of like uh and and gruff, but still Australian is yeah, and so like I like the idea of Russell Crowe after he's.

Like a drunken Oh that's cool like I want it to be.

It's it's serious and it's quiet and it's flippant and he curses a lot like I want it to be, like a drunk Australian.

You know what's cool? You're doing like a reverse mel Gibson. Yeah, you know what I mean. And yeah, people when they see your old shit, it'll be like when you see uh mad Max Wibelle Gibson, You're like, I didn't know what he's Australian. Yeah, why is he talking like I saw langsy kerminal abbit not Australian at all.

Yeah.

Also bad father, you keep yelling, but it don't seem like you help it.

Ohn No, Yeah, I think late stage Russell Crowe drunk Australian is exactly where i'd.

Like to be. Well, you heard it here. We're both going to adopt colonizer voices, get famous and leave all of you behind.

There's no chance you're coming with a sweetheart. But thank you, thank you, thank you for your investment thus far. And in the meantime, Leson, can you tell them where you're gonna be at and what cool things you have going on?

H yeah, thank you, David follow Did that fuck you up? That I did your thing? No, you know it's not my thing. I think I've just taken on the responsibility and and have presumed it is mine. Yeah, I thought you liked it.

I don't like doing work at all.

Okay. I think there's this massive.

Illusion that people have of me that I actually enjoy doing the labor.

I thought that. I always thought that you. I always kind of was. I always kind of feel like I'm like leans really likes doing the world.

I think I'm so afraid of quiet and put so much onwus on things getting quiet as my fault that I over'll. I'll talk through the quiet quickly and just act quickly, presuming that is my responsibility.

Damn. Okay, well noted, Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that felt great.

You can follow me at lengths and Kerman on all social media platforms. You you can see us live or no.

It'll probably have already had hi gone. Probably well you saw us live and we sold that bitch out we said we did.

The tickets couldn't have sold faster.

A lot of notable celebrities too.

Oh bad bitches left right and down the middle. I can't believe the Obama showed up and and I'm sorry we had to put them out. I'm sorry we had to put them out.

But but Malia, you know what you did. Yeah, you talk about that. Ah, that's so buddy cool guy jokes that he zeven on Instagram. You know, just watch this. We're really making a run here. We're in my house, We're we're this is We need you, We need you, We need you to watch this. We need you to join the Patreon. We're fighting for our life. I'm not going to hide it. We would go through some ship personally, emotionally. We need this, you know that need this to work.

You know that part of the Gail King interview where r Kelly stands.

Up, don't do that. Don't do that for my life right now, Robert, sit down. I am Robert, sit down, Bye bitch,