I don't even like staying in a room after I've jerked off.
In it, you know what I mean, Like I'll set the building on fire if.
I jerk off. I gotta I gotta take a lap, you know what I mean. I know I did a bad thing and here I can't much.
Like the poison I was trying to clear out of my dick. I gotta get out of here.
Hey, you gut me, like, this is a bad.
Room pictures Ugly, it's got that juju.
I hate that I sleep in here.
That's why you gotta do it. What do you be? I like that, And if you do it standing up, it makes it feel like less indult you.
Uh yeah, it does it also Uh then also makes me feel a little bit more like uh, just like I'm clocking into a fucking line job, you know what I mean? Like I don't really like the.
I mean, find a happy medium. I guess sit on the toilet. I don't know, this is gone. This is not what we're talking about.
I think it's exactly what we.
Need in.
A Kuala. Bears are racist.
Layers money turkey stuff. I can't tell me. I put my hand up on your hip when I Dip, You Dip, We dip. Welcome to another brand new episode of My Mama Told Me.
The Fodcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.
And we finally work to prove that Troy Aikman is not in fact to j D clone but a bastard offspring of Adnes Reeves. That's right, I'm saying it. That's that Nigga's real brother.
I'm I don't I'm gonna be honest as a non football fan and lankson Germy, I don't know what none of that means, but bring it all.
Down for okay, hold on, you never saw the troya Aikman jay Z clone. Troy Aikman used to quarterback the Dallas Cowboys, of course in the nineties, and there's there's a picture going around of a side by side of him and jay Z, and they do, in fact look very similar. Olivia, can you pull it up because I'm not good at.
I see it now. Yeah, yeah, they do look a lot of light.
And jay Z's father, known Philander MM.
So you're saying, you're saying that jay Z senior.
As Reeves. Please, I know what was.
Running around in Dallas or wherever Troy Aikman's from and philandering with white women and then made not only arguably the greatest rapper of all time, but then elsewhere made the greatest one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time.
Top tier. Yes, they're only four there's only they're only four years apart in age.
Here's what I'll say is a part of me is afraid that this is true because it would imply that someone's nut can be that spectacular.
Not just someone's an eight shig nut.
Yeah. That it's that you truly can just be popping out genius after genius after genius, despite how shitty a human you are. That's terrifying.
I want to believe, baby, I want to believe.
That fucking scares me because then that also means that my nut is being called to the table. Do you know what I mean? That if my nut produces a dud, then that's on me. That isn't just a bad chance that happened.
Yeah, I think that that's how that goes. Yeah. Fuck, people know, people know a lot of an ship dudes had great kids, amazing kids.
A bronze daddy did not nail it as a father, but boy, did he make a fucking great kid.
Come on, come on, it has nothing to do with It's just he just had like you know what it was. It was like the dad had all the wood, he just didn't know how to build the house, put the house together. Brah, you know what I'm saying. So he had the genetic stuff, but you didn't like.
He's like a baby girl, baby girl, I am not a carpenter, but this is the finest lumber. That exactly he said that this world can produce.
He said, child support. Bitch, I gave you a kit.
That's carry wood red o. I don't know names of woods, don't know, you dumb fucks. I don't know.
Right outside. That's not a real word.
I don't know cherry wood, red oak. That's the what the fuck popped in my head? That sounded like it would make for.
Goodwood either way. That nut was strong, strong ass nutt. I'm advocating for bad guys. Good nut.
Yeah, this I damn yeah. The nuts just a little bigger and faster than every other nut. Yeah, and not just like the nuts inside of him, but literally every other nut that a man can make. It's just it's just a big I'm always nut.
I've always maintained that a lot of eight shiit dudes ain't shit because they are so talented that they don't really have to focus it anywhere and they could just get by Wow. But you never known guys like that who were just like very attractive, hyperathletic, very smart, who just never did anything because they could always just kind of get it like co mm hmmm. And I think that's what happens.
I do feel that way about celebrity in general, right that, like there are some people you and I both know, maybe personally, maybe just in in the world, but like we know some people where were like, I actually don't know that I think you're talented. I actually don't know that. I think that, like you're what everybody believes you to be, but you are so charismatic. You just have this it factor that sort of superseds how little I think you quote unquote deserve the thing.
You have one hundred percent, Yeah, one hundred percent. I think that. I think that's like I think that I think that especially in our genre of what we do of where like especially these days where it's like to be a stand up comedian, there's so much to it other than stand up. Yeah, you know what I mean that. Yeah, you can just get on and be kind of charming for really fifteen minutes and then everybody else, hey, the other thirty because they bought tickets. You know what I mean.
Are you still fine?
I'm engaged?
Yeah? Fuck so. Yeah, I I I don't ever say I never did nothing for you. I'm out here advocating for the strength and not so girls. Yeah, women, ladies, whatever are you or whatever? We're calling you now? You know, maybe he doesn't have a bridge.
Yeah, that's I'm gonna start calling girls.
I like you. I like you. You spoken by a man who's truly out of the game.
Yeah, I'm out the game. I gotta say, baby back, ribs up till tonight. He's harmless thing.
Oh fuckers, I'm saying, just because he doesn't have a job or a car, or a discernible stream of income or a degree. Maybe he doesn't know a lot of words.
But let them nuts speak for themselves.
Yeah, come on, you know you know what it is. You know what it is. Just give him a chance, give him a chance. It'll pay off for you in the long run.
Yeah, or or it won't. And there's no way to tell no, you gotta you truly, you have to be. If they're four years apart, I'm assuming Troy Aikman is younger than jay Z.
No, he's older.
He's older than jay Z okay, So I just assume jay Z is the oldest man in every room, A nigga old that said, I if Troy, That's the only way you could do this is you watch Troy Aikman happen, and then you make a jay Z as a You have to watch another lady raise a genius to know for sure that you're getting a genius.
Well, here's the confusing part. They're only four years apart, and I don't think that he's stuck around. So I don't think it was that he knew Troy Aikman was going to be a genius as much as he trusted in himself. He was like, I got something in here, No, I got I think.
That's my point is like, as the woman, that's the only way you could feel comforted is knowing that Troy Aikman exists, which you can't possibly know because that nigga didn't stick around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean it's really I mean you're advocating on behalf of bad Fathers.
I and that much is clear. That part I think we have no doubt. Man, you're just sitting They're.
Like, I ain't have a daddy.
Why y'all need daddies?
That's really where it comes from. Oh so everybody just needs that to be successful. I don't create to drive within yourself. You witness a shortcoming up, proceved flaw in and of yourself that you have to work to overcome be a success and views on YouTube? How else did you guys give money? I don't know another way.
And if you don't have money, that's why you don't have it. I got it because your dad loved you too much. That's why you work at Walgreens.
We have a conspiracy today.
You could do this.
We could just keep living in the Troy Aikman jay Z multiverse that we're all weaving here. But the conspiracy we talked about because this is meant to be our like Halloween themed episode. Happy Halloween to all those all you spooks. And I mean it in the derogatory way.
The one that sat beside the.
Door, no no, no, Olivia wrote, Oh my god, Langston and I don't disagree.
I saw you hitting that vape a little bit before this could be.
Yeah, I'm taking big swings today. Yeah, chigaboos you.
It just felt right it I liked it.
It felt it flowed. It feels like you're mixing it in that like that'll be our commercial break. Is just listening to the whole song.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just dropping little tidbits.
Little taste. So if you want to. That said, we we have a conspiracy today. Our conspiracy that that will be discussing is uh is My mama told me black people can't be ghost.
Man, come on, tell tell freaky frog. You're freaking frog, freaky frog freak.
I'll always forget that. There's such a big break, and it is in what he's saying. There's like a there's like a little too much space. Then you think it's over, but it's not over.
Now our drops you for sure too long. It's okay, I like it, but.
What do you what do you think about this? Black people can't be ghost conversations.
So I've actually I've thought about this a lot of times, and I'm of the mind the first thing that comes to my mind about it is that I always felt like that was a super white thing to do, to feel like you had more business to take care of, to like not allow death to be the end of what your mortal coil was. You're like, oh, I'm so important that I gotta go back and shut up. Just be dead, idiot, you're doing hanging out? You know what
it is? Ghost dudes who could hoop in high school and in high school ended and then they stick around trying to get pussy, hanging out in the girls locker room like a bunch of fun creeps. Go on and get that job, bro.
Yeah, you keep talking about, uh, I needed to use the weight room because I'm training for a tryout, And it's like, nah, man, you just wanted to hang out back at high school, and that's not okay.
Come on, everybody knows that that scholarship to Tulane fell through. We all know about it.
And and yes, you made the junior college team up the street, but none of us respected and we don't expect that you'll be moving on from here.
Yeah, you're a South Mississippi state yard dog. Nobody gives a fucky I do. I do.
I don't disagree with this. I think even the energy of what ghosts are This whole instinct to scare is some like over like some loser high school ship where you're like telling harrowing stories of your of the years that you were there, and it's like, bitch, we all did the same stuff. None of your pranks were that spectacular. No car crash from some drunk driving kid is yo?
No relax.
Is that exceptional. Everybody's like, yeah, we had three kids die in our year, and it's like, fuck you, man, we all had three kids die. Crazy, everybody had three kids die. You ain't special, motherfucker.
Man. We all had to watch that fucking slide show at the end of the school.
Yeah you ain't. Come on, man, what are we doing. That's what ghosts are doing. They're in there being like my life and it's like, no, fuck you, we all we've all had a life.
Yo, your life is over. Let the young guns come out and like, like, what are you hanging out for? For real? Like I've never understood that either. What are they meant to accomplish?
Unfinished business is the the coined phrase, right, is that they just had that shit that did not get resolved the way that they wanted it to.
When have you ever heard a story of a ghost finishing its business?
Yes?
When have you ever heard lore or tell or seen some fucking horror movie where it ghosts got that shit done? You know why they can't get shit done because they're not alive, So then they just hang out watching everybody like fucking nerds. Bro. Yeah, it's so corny to be a ghost. It's so corny to be a ghost.
Yeah, it's pretty lame. If you're out there and you're thinking about being a ghost, don't do that.
Don't stop. Also, also, you die, and then you want to be tethered to some old houses like what people are like, he died in that room, so I'm gonna die, and then I'm gonna stay in the room that I died in for the rest of forever.
That's fucking miserable that I won't bet.
I don't don't.
I feel similarly that I do think ghosts is a lame role to take on. I think there is an argument to be made, and I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on this. Is that they are not choosing it as much as their spirit is being cursed with it. So all of the things that you're describing are the the punishment that they're experiencing more than like a voluntary like I'm just gonna hang out here in my room, right, I.
Mean I guess with that. Then it's like, and this is a hard thing about even talking about the afterlife is you have to you have to choose what's canonical and what's not right, Like you have to pick a cannon, because like, are we talking about the Lord and Savior in heaven, Jesus Christ afterlife? Are we talking about the Native American spirit world? Are we talking about wherever duppies come from? Like you know what I'm saying. I don't
know the name of your primitive derimative religion. I know it's based on nuts and berries from the forest. Hell yeah uh no, But like you know what I'm saying. So it's like it's like that's the problem with this is like and that's my also my problem with like people are very vaguely spiritual spiritual. It's like no, it's like it's like it's like crafting a story or writing
a book or some shit. Your world has to have rules. Yeah, I like that, you have to have Like that's my biggest problem when I watch, Like if I don't like a film or something. It's because the tone shipped, because like when people don't establish rules to whatever they're then you can just say anything. That's why I don't like talking to hippies. Oh it's just spears man. All right, well what does that mean? What does that mean? Because otherwise you're just saying.
Shit, what what spirits are we speaking to? I do like that. I I I and honestly not that this is what you're suggesting, but it does, at least in my knowledge of like Christian roots, that is a thing that like God is sort of have said to believe right that he would rather you make a choice in the wrong direction than live in the middle of a uh you know what I mean of exact thing, exact
believe or don't believe. But but to like sort of kind of believe is the worst thing is sort of like a I think a you know, sort of quote is from the Bible.
It's not yeah, it's just not gonna do anything for you. It's like you never played football. But one thing football coaches always used to say was like, if you're gonna make a mistake, make it one hundred miles an hour, right, right, right, right, and that's how I feel about ghosts.
Go to hell one hundred miles for hours. Look at the fast stop hanging out up here where it's like, oh it's bad, but it ain't the bad. Yeah, I get that well.
Also, I never understood about ghosts is like, so they're stuck here, they're trying to They're trying to, I guess, get a hold of me for whatever reason. But the only reason I only way I cause I don't listen, man, I don't go I don't answer unknown phone numbers. You think I'm gonna like see a fucking sprite fall out of a trash can and be like, oh, this might be my aunt Gloria. Like I don't pay attention to signs, bro,
Yeah you know what I mean. So now I gotta find some white lady who reads my palm for you to talk to me. And that's the only way this was ever gonna work. It sounds like you don't have a good plan ghosts.
Yeah, or a Catholic priest it's and it always has to be Catholic.
You know my words. I go to them for nothing.
Yeah, why why I have to be Catholic to do this? Because I'd prefer a Rastafarian. If I'm being honest with.
You, anything that didn't doodle kids, it's really.
And the idea of some some Jamaican man yelling at the bald head devil is uh, yeah, that seems way better to me.
It feels more right. Yeah, but yeah, I just never so. Yeah, It's like that was my always. My problem with ghosts is like nobody has an accepted idea of what it is or why it is sure, and I just feel like black people a more practical.
Yeah, I will say that I have long believed, and we'll have to go to break after this, but I have long believed that ghosts are a voluntary buy in. That like, if you fuck around with spirits, you are buying into seeing ghosts experiencing ghosts. And maybe it is in a literal sense, or maybe it is in your head.
I don't know, but I know that I don't fuck around with no like dark magic or any like Ouiji boards, none of that shit, And in doing so, I feel fairly confident that I'm not experiencing a lot of shit either, you know what I mean that, Like, I'm not denying it, but I don't think I've ever welcomed it and so I'm chilling.
Play stupid games get stuper prizes exactly. Yeah, I agree with that. I'm not really trying to although you know two things that I mean, we can go to break it. I'll say it before we go to break yeah said it before. Two things about that is one, a nigga seen a ghost one time. I went to a hented house last night, so whoa.
Okay, well this is this is maybe a good cliffhanger for the break, because I want to hear this story about seeing this ghost. Let's take a break. You're gonna we're teasing you dumb bitches with with heroic stories when we come back about okay, yeah, Bory ran out screaming, I'll tell the story. All right, We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more. My mama told me that that that's it.
We're back.
We're definitely back, and we're still talking about yeah, about whether black people can be ghosts. And Bory left us on a on a massive cliffhanger, saying that he in fact has seen a ghost in the past.
Yeah, or something something like that. So I'll get into it. This is probably like, man, it's right around when the Nuggets lost to the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals, so.
It's probably like Carmelo years.
Yeah, it's probably like oh nine, I'm thinking oh nine. Probably Uh a party at my house. I had a friend of mine from high school or David and Uh. I went to sleep and I woke up and it looked like I saw David in the corner of my room, like it, but it was like it was a figure he had. He was dressed kind of similar to how he had been dressed, but it looked like he had a hood on, and it looked like it looked like from bed, it looked like like the light of his
cell phone. It was like a dull light. Like I thought he was texting in my room, Like I thought he was just texting his girl or some shit.
Was he facing you or facing the wall.
So it was like my bed he was. He was facing outwards, so it looked like he was standing with his back in the corner with a hood on and his head down on his phone. Because it felt like there was like a dull light, but I couldn't see his face. I could just it was it felt like it was illuminated.
So already there is some fear because that's a scary that's a scary image.
Not at first because I thought it was him.
And this is a person you if you woke up in the middle of the night and he was doing that, you would not fear feeling.
No, it would go exactly like I. It started where I woke up and I look over there and I was like, David, get out of my room. And he didn't say anything. I was like, David, get the fuck out of my cause we had been drinking and I had to work the next day. So it's like, David, get the fuck out of my room, bro, And he didn't do anything. It's like, I'm not kidding, get the fuck out of my room. And I woke up and I went to turn on the light and there was nothing. Then yeah, man, fuck.
Fuck yeah man. I don't like that.
No, it was terrible.
Like that at all.
It was terrible.
Because even if it was just the shadow, it's the soft glow that makes it so eerie because and the hood up. You can't deny that, the hood up. I even in my head, I could go, well, the light at the right angle, maybe you see a person, but the way because.
It was a basement room and the way my room was set up. The light wouldn't even cast into that corner like that.
Damn.
Yeah, it was terrible.
So okay, fuck this happens.
What do you do?
What do you get up? You run up screaming, how do you man?
So I turn on the light.
Yeah okay, now we're now we're Oprah.
I turn the light and I get scared, right because there's nobody there, and I go to my This is like a complicated I remember my best friend I told you about. He's a crack now. Yeah, so before this was like between crackhead and and like thugging. He had just gotten out of jail, so he was going. He was like, he got all Christian in jail, so he's going to church all the time, right, So I went over and he has been He's like you ever notice how dudes who like there's dudes who get into Christianity
in a way where it's always a fight. Yeah, this thing had been talking to me about spiritual warfare and demons and ship like that. So I got all scared, so I ran.
To his I ran into his room because you knew he would square up with whatever demon that was.
I knew he would know what was going on, because I was gonna hit him when I turned on the light. That's what I was gonna do, was I was like, because I was so mad. I went into his room and I was like, I don't know what's going on. I just like, you were.
There, but you weren't there. Now I'm scared what he knew?
No, no, no, no. I didn't think it was him. I thought it was a different.
Oh, you thought it was a different dude, And so you were truly going to him for some spiritual calm.
He was on his Christian ship, so he was not drinking or anything at the time. Fuck. So I went and I woke him up that ship and then he comes in. He's like what And I'm like and he's like, let's go. So he comes into.
My to fight the devil.
I don't know what I thought. I don't know what else.
I don't know.
I don't know, I don't know. I'm telling you happened.
He's gonna go beat up a demon.
So he came in the room and then there was nothing. I was like, and I told the whole story right here, and I told him what happened, and he was like, he was like, this is spiritual warfare, so don't laugh, bro, this is my life. So then then he prayed over me in the room with the lights on, YadA YadA, YadA, slept on the couch.
Fuck yeah, wait, okay, can't be the clip for this episode. Listen. I think it's too it's I'm too interested in this.
Too even too long, it's too long.
Let me ask this. He prays over you. Are you then with your eyes closed being like this bullshit?
That's the problem. That's the problem. That's the problem.
You're like, what the fuck?
I can't I got you because I know you could bang. I saw you beat up a car one time, and.
I'm afraid I ain't gonna fix this.
I know you have a gun in there.
Why are we praying? Praying? You literally needed a man to fist fight. And He's like, brother, I've got something better than fis.
But I also don't know what I got I want.
I just needed he can't do anything.
But I also think I was scared and I needed like, I needed like someone, I.
Needed a real nigga to just be like.
Don't do that. That's not good ya. No, it wasn't like it was. It was it wasn't like had it been David in the corner to fuck him up, That's not the issue.
No, no, no, I'm not saying you need a real nigga to fight for you. And I'm saying sometimes you just need a motherfucker who is going to make you feel assured in a way that only a person with with impossible sort of self centered confidence can offer you. You know what I mean, Like, you need that motherfucker to be like, nah, we'll be straight right and you go.
And I think that's more what I was looking for, not for him to jump up.
Not for him to be so afraid that he called on God in your head.
Well he wasn't afraid though. That's the thing I feel like, I'm not.
No, I don't mean afraid of the ghost. I mean afraid for like the spiritual warfare he's describing this is sort of like the war between good and evil. He's acknowledging that that's a literal happening. And you don't want that in that moment.
Yeah, not at all, not at all.
You want a motherfucker to be like ghosts nigga, we straight.
Yeah. I wanted, I truthfully wanted him to wake up and be like and then like and you're like, damn, I was tripping, you know what, You're right?
I am gay?
Yeah, yeah, you got me. I'll come back to sleep. I didn't want like acknowledgment bit of what I saw that could be real. What I say that all that to say, the guy who prayed was mixed. Okay, the ghost mom adopted. We don't know the ghost. But the man that I fought was a ghost white guy, not a black ghost. Not a black ghost. I thought it was a white man.
Wow. That does track for for I think almost everyone's experiences that that it just seems like standard ghost is a white person or.
A Native American. I feel like I've heard a lot about Native Americans.
Native Americans. In the Mid Arts, it was Asian people. Asian ghosts were real popular.
Oh I missed that whole ship.
I think it was during like the Grudge era, you know what I mean, where like they they had the Little Japanese Baby be the ghost thing ring and stuff. Yeah, the ring was you know.
Yeah.
There were a bunch of like Korean films and Japanese films and all that shit that like eventually I think made people go like, yeah, Asian people.
That's interesting because I was I told you I went to a hearted ass last night. I was telling my friend in line that I was like, the thing that's going to scare me the most is a kid in here. Yup, and they didn't have no kids, so like, you know, I toughed it up.
The kids are scary, I think my uh for me personally, the clown room I have a real hard time with. Yeah, I don't do good with the clown room.
Clowns don't bother me, you know what it is? And I and I and I trapped it because we were talking in line my friend because I was like, I don't like spooky shit, so I thought I was going to be scared anyways. I just went because like, you know whatever, and uh, just some you know, you gotta shake it up sometimes.
Yeah.
But and then one of my friends she was like, she was like, well, what what are you scared of? And I was like, okay, I had to think about it, and it is the it's the God and the Devil stuff, because that's the only stuff I feel like I have no chance again.
Oh, meaning that there literally could be a hell and you are are destined to go there type shit.
I think that you're putting words in my mouth because of what you reflect is my actions. I don't love that.
No, no, no, I'm not cursing you to hell. I'm asking is that the fear living in your head?
I think even less of like that. I think more so of like if that is the plane that we're operating on, I don't have the tools to defend myself.
To definitively be able to like ward off the devil and keep yourself safe and.
Exactly like I think I could, like if it was if it's anything that's dudes or monsters, I feel like I could bust a couple, you know what I mean, I could hit them or something. But it's like a little girl being possessed in the middle of the room. I don't have anything. I mean, I could punch it, but I don't.
Even I don't think that's gonna help her.
Also, I feel like this is making it sound like I am not at all a person who punches to solve my problems. I'm just saying back in the corner.
Like I feel, I think, I think none of it. I personally, I also identify as a person who does not want to hit to solve my problems. But backed into a corner, I think we all are people who punch to solve our problems. Like we're talking about like and it's shark Keisha's out there. We would love to have you on the show, sweetheart. And I don't mean that in the kindes any way. Please don't hit me to solve that problem.
What's up, baby?
Come on, my little baby back riv. I think you are You've got to be. If you're not in prison, you've got to be twenty five by now. And if you are in prison, they probably put you down because you've caused too many fights.
But put you.
The state has probably ended your existence at this point. But if you are out there, Sharkeisha, we would love to have you on the podcast. We have so many, so many questions and glowing statements to stay to you.
But ultimately so Yeah. I say all that to tell that I told that wildly embarrassing story to say even why one ghost experience was a white person?
Yeah. I The only people that I've ever known to have ghost experiences have always described a white ghost. And even if they haven't explicitly said it, I think I've always perceived it that way. And some of that might be on me where I'm like rejecting white ghost out to them. But nobody's ever lied been. I feel like if you saw a ghost, if literally any of my white friends saw a ghost at some point, they're going
to mention if he was black. They're not like keeping that in the pocket of being like, oh, he's just a regular guy. They're gonna brok hair, tight coils. I would describe them.
As about your bill.
Think juicy lips, big old just souper coolers.
He was a very musical guy.
He had a rhythm to his step. Even when he was running after me. He's I mean boo.
It was.
It was a different kind of boo, like I say boo, but he said boo. I was like, is that of a gorilla? No, that's a man.
That's a man. Jason Afterca. But wait, here's a big question. Have you ever seen a ghost?
I don't believe I've ever seen a ghost. I'd be lying if I feel like I've ever had any sort of haunting experience. But I am very, very fearful of ghosts and specifically the dark. I think I've told.
You this because.
Yeah, and I think it's less the dark itself. But my greatest fear on this planet Earth is walking into a room turning on a light and someone's just sitting there like. That is the image that's sort of like I most centrally associate with fear, And my biggest fear is just turning on a light in a human being. It's just there staring back at me. Happened to you, probably, and that's probably where it's rooted from, But I don't have a real memory of it.
Yeah, you wipe you out. That's a traumaous one.
Yeah, I think if I if it is a memory, it is clean out of my head, out of whatever the fuck happened in that room.
You know, I've definitely turned a light on and seen somebody in a room that I didn't think was gonna be in a room before. Yeah, and that is. You're right, But aren't you also afraid somebody coming in when you pop?
Yeah? I mean I'm not. I'm listen. I fuck around when it comes to fears. You know, I'm not a monogamous when it comes to my fears. I don't cheat on my wife. I cheat on my fears. I'm dogging them bitches out.
You think the bigger, the booty, the finder idiot, and now we can convince her. She walks witching that big old booty and all that it ain't nothing but do doo.
In there, come on, ain't nothing but do doo and them and them big old but fear.
I also have another question. Are you afraid of close?
Yes, very much so. I think I am afraid of anything. I think your your articulation of the devil versus God is sort of living in the same vein of like anything that is out of my even potential effort to control, you know what I mean, Like I can't even try to be the ghost. That feels like a cheat code, and I that terrifies me.
Same, I agree, Yeah, that's that's yeah, exactly, that exactly that.
Me versus a ghost feels like when you play somebody who knew the code to like NBA Jam, where it's like he's on fire all the time. Yes, it's like, all right, well I can't win.
Yeah that's how I too.
What are you doing? I picked the rookie Jason Kidd Grant Hill team, and that's a pretty solid team, and I'm yeah, you're gonna eat me alive.
I mean, here's the thing I also as I got older, I also ghosts in the traditional sense don't scare me, because I also get the feeling of like, if I can't do anything to them, what can they do to me? Mmm? Like it feels like they could just pop out. Yeah, And that's sort of the extent of it, right, I don't know.
I mean, I think if you buy into to television and movies, they can do a lot of shit to you, Like, you know, they can pass through walls, but they can also choke you. They can murder you, they can push you, make you hurt yourself. Like there's they have a lot of potential if you buy into that. But if you're truly like no, you are just a lingering spirit, then not. I don't think they can do anything but scare you.
Okay, Yeah, which is another thing that it's like, what's the point.
Yeah, And that's the problem. I think you made this point earlier, is that we need if you are to believe in ghosts, you need to have a honest standardization of your beliefs and what these ghosts actually are, rather than it just being looming spirits from whatever religion belief background that you know that doesn't associate with any of the spirituality that could help you fix it.
Do you? And also, here's the thing about ghosts, because there's another weird spooky thing I have. Do you believe in the idea of familial ghosts, Like not so much a ghost is like in the vein of trying to scare you, but past family members surrounding you.
Yeah. I believe in energy and.
The one thing that's a fact great like I hear me out, I believe.
I believe that that our energies are left with us, you know, or beyond us in rooms, in spaces, in uh, there is a transference of energy in every room and interaction that I have, And I do believe that that energy can linger and take on some sort of like nearly humanoid form. I don't necessarily know that I believe in the familial ghosts in the sense of like them coming and saying the thing that needed to be taught
to you in your ear, you know what I mean. Like, I don't believe in that traditional like quote unquote haunting, but I do believe that like an energy can live in you so rich and so around you, so sort of fucking vibrant that you do start to almost see that person.
I mean, that's why you got to leave the room after you're nut. It's taken on a humanoid form.
Ye, like, oh no, my papa's in the corner and his arms are folded.
But here's the reason I asked you this, because this is another weird, spooky thing. I guess I have more spooky shit than I ever.
Yeah, you're a real spooky motherfucker.
Yeah, I guess so. Well. So this is a cold part about it. So this was this other thing where me and a friend the backstory doesn't matter. I was talking to It's.
Like, oh no, okay, go ahead. It felt like you wanted to tell the backstory and you're like, no, that's too shameful. I'll keep that.
No, it's not even I told you the story about fucking being scared of I've already gone deep in shame on this. Yeah, he said, Yeah, this was embarrassed.
And yet I'll open up to you not at all.
Yeah.
Yeah, I won't trade a single story with you, David. I'm going to remain close to it with all of my shit.
That's why you're actually a funny guy. You're a truly funny guy. Psychic, No, I mean, it's very funny. I was talking to a sidekick or whatever you want to call him, and he was like real though it was like people like it was months long waits to talk to this guy. And I got it because it was this weird show business thing where we were talking to him for a show.
And you're consenting, which tells me you're not terribly afraid of tinkering in the devil's magic of it all.
I'm consenting, but I definitely, I mean, now that I think about it, if I'm gonna be honest, there must have been some part of me that was willing to consent without fear, because the front of my mind was definitely skepticism was how I was approaching it, you know what I mean. And my partner and the thing she was like I used to be away. She was all into it and wanted to know about it, and I was coming to the point of like it, being skeptical, and he was like a guy who claims to talk
to people from the other side. So when we talked to him, he said whatever to my partner, and then he got to me and he was like, he was like, you don't believe in this, right, and I was like, yeah, not particularly, and he was like, I don't think so. I think it's actually quite the opposite, so much so that you convince yourself that you don't believe in it. I was like eh. And then he was like, do you know a lot of people who have died? And I was like yeah, like kind of my first shirt,
a pretty good amount. And he was like, yeah, I can tell there's a bunch of them with you right now. There's a bunch of them in he said, there's a bunch of them in the room. He's like, there's a bunch of people in the room with you right now. And if it's people that I know that have died, it's mostly just family and shit like that, which is all black people. Shit. Yeah, it wasn't great.
Prussell button, save us, preuss a fucking button. I actually am one point four percent my Jerry and African. I'm a sister.
Okay through but no, no, that was a visceral response.
God damn it, that's huh okay. Here's here's where my skeptical brain kicked in during that the ending of that story, which was fucking bone chilling, and if the one little question that did pop in my head that I'd love to hear your thoughts on is why are they with you? Like these are people that have other people, other things going on, you know what I mean? Like in theory, why are they all attached to you and not other cousins, other loved ones, other whoever the fuck that also are
in the middle of their own trials? Got you?
Yep? Oh that was the problem. Yeah, okay, that's now you're going to write it off. But how did the answers be special? I don't have a lightshiny what does Drew?
We got him? I feel like a hack if I just took it, so we got him?
No, that was the joke answer. I think that is a very good question, to be fair. I think that is a very good question to be fair.
I do think that that that.
But it also might be. It also might be we don't know to speak to what I was saying before. If the case is that one of the only ways that they have contacts through directly through a medium like this, then it would stand to reason that at the point that they knew that I was contacting a person who could contact them, that that would be when they would all gather. As opposed to just like you know what I'm saying. That does that does make sense to me.
If they are able to watch over you and sort of like have this omniscient knowledge of your comings and goings, it makes sense for them to be present for this moment as opposed to any other moment where they're just hanging out with you without any right incentive.
Like this is an actual time we could get through. Yeah. So it's like you know what you know what I mean when you you ever call somebody and then with a bunch of friends and everybody's giving a shout out, it's like, I feel like it's like that, ye, like who are you talking to? Oh? You're talking to David? Oh tell Mike's an you know.
And it's not like you got to say anything to David. You just want David to know he has loved, he has thought about I am present for damn well. That that at least then makes it feel a little more hopeful that that it isn't them lingering for any other purpose but to remind you that you are cared for and loved and have people you know rooting for.
You and so and then to bring it all full circle to this idea of like whether or not if there are ghosts. I think if black ghosts are around, I would like it. I would like to believe that it is more in that vein of help and family and wanting to show love than it is just like hanging around to finish some unfinished business or some shit.
Yeah. I'd hate to think that there's some young black teenager hanging around a finish line that.
Uh damn that you said I was dark Jesus Christ just laughing.
And get to get those niggers that he wanted. And he's like, I just got to hang out here forever and always. No, it was really terrible, Olivia said, pressed another button.
You're ugly, You're disgusting. I'm going to kill you. Give me two hundred dollars. Well sat down. Lol.
Well, I think we did it. I don't think we need to take this any further.
I think you're right. I think that we accomplished what it is we need to do.
Amplished just to recap it seems like we're in agreement that if black ghosts do exist, and they are likely more manifested for positive familiar relationships, then they are running around saying oogie boogie in corners and shit.
Mm hmm, white ghosts.
Y'all do what y'all want, And that's true of you in the living, that honestly, that that really is how you've treated your entire lives. And it's a shame that even in the afterlife you somehow have managed to continue to be that. But it seems that.
Way habitual line steppers.
Habitual line steppers through eternity. You want to tell the people where they can find you on what cool shit you have going on.
I am going to be headlining the Denver Comedy Works November twelfth. I'm going to be featuring for Shane Torres at Comedy on State in Madison, Wisconsin, Thanksgiving weekend, and just announced I'm going to be in Cleveland, Ohio at Hilarities Comedy Club January twelfth and thirteen.
Fuck yeah, and if you want to see me you can follow well follow me at Langston Herman. I'm back on Twitter, y'all. I quit and I thought I was cool without it, but I felt like I was missing a big part of the conversation. So I'm back and I'm not proud of that. But Papa sick and doesn't so good being back, though, a little bit, man, I'd just be knowing all the funny jokes when they're happening and not like a three days later the way that every other app is set up to be.
And I feel you because when I sent you that Bishop thing, I was truly I was so excited, like when I saw it, I was so excited to talk to you about it. And then you were like, yeah, that shit's old, that was a year old, and like that that hurt that heard.
I didn't like saying it that way.
If that makes you feel better, I had to you did what you had to do. Yeah.
I didn't feel any pride in being like this stupid mother.
You don't know.
It's like no, I was like, oh he just he ain't on Twitter and that's good for him still, But I'm back, baby.
It doesn't make me feel good. It makes me feel bad.
But you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Langston Kerman. Uh don't follow that's that, nigga. And if you want to see me live, I will be in burling Burlington, Vermont, November tenth and eleventh, and then the following week I'll be in Dallas at Hyenas Comedy Club November seventeenth and eighteen and oh shit, I don't know. I forgot uh. And as always, if you follow the pod, like subscribe. We have an Instagram, we have a YouTube.
We would like all of your your uh, it would be our pleasure to entertain you on all of those platforms. And if you're talk, we got a TikTok. We we've got all the shit that you may be interested in. And apparently the YouTube has reached a certain number that is inconvenient for David and I and we have not.
Sort of got it was one point nine eight and then I looked at it and it was two point one one all of.
A sudden, Yeah, I I I'm worried that we are are becoming too successful too fast.
So who's checking these numbers? We're just YouTube.
Yeah, we're dressed in steven YouTube. To be honest with us, that don't seem.
Right, feels like a problem. Yeah, we'll figure it out.
Stop giving us these mister beast numbers and get us back to anonymity. That said, we do owe you all a video, and we will discuss when that video will happen. And most importantly, if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. If you want to tell us about the nigga ghosts that you have experienced in your life, send it all to my Mama pod at gmail dot com. That's the whole shebang, by bitch my Chips and your Quality Bears are racist.
The host money, turkey stuff I can't tell me