Blinded By The Lights: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini ever sel.

Smoking on hey in the middle of the barn. There it is, there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama.

Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracies.

And we finally worked to prove the theories that you motherfuckers have at home. It's a motherfucking mini episode.

Yes, and I love Crucial Conflict.

You do love Crucial Conflict.

I love you Crucial. I also love Do or Die? I love you, I love your city.

Listen. We all loved them for a time. We all felt deep affections for them, and Kanye was so generous Healthier. Kanye was very generous to try to bring them back into the fold. At one point, everybody loved both Crucial Conflict and Do or Die. I just don't know that everybody feels as passionately about them currently as you do.

I think that from the last episode to take it. I think that they are around. I think they're wearing Pelly pellies right now. Yeah, and I'm into it.

I mean, guys, yeah, you're like, I'm not turning on these guys just because they haven't made music in twenty years and good music in thirty.

Listen, dog, I'm loyal. I'm still a Craig macfan. Okay, man, I'm loyal.

Well, Craig Mac is still a Craig Mac fan, because I gotta assume he's sort of like, man, my voice is stupid now, huh doesn't do any of the stuff it needs to do to make a good record.

I think it's difficult to be that ugly of a man.

Mmmm.

He was so so ugly.

Yeah, he was big, ugly, and it does speak to I think a more beautiful time in music where you could be like gruesomely ugly and make make hit songs.

And I do miss that because, like I don't we have all these hot people now, but it's like you don't think there's some ugly guys out there killing it.

I think about that all the time. Like no shade, I think Beyonce truly is deserving of all of the accolades that she gets. She's a beautiful sixty year old woman, an extremely talented sixty sixty year old woman that said, I bet you there's just an ugo that would serve her ass brother who you telling that would just go out crazy on her from down the street, from where she grew up. There are an uglier girl who would put her to fucking Shane.

You don't think there's a bitch working at Marshall's who could.

Just just nail every dance move in a way that Beyonce can't and hit the notes. Beyonce scared of bro.

She is hanging up three xcel Echo shirts right now.

And not new Echo, not Echo that they're trying to revive all that stretched out Echo.

Stretched out off brand. Were you an Echo guy? Were you? Oh?

You?

God damn right, I was an Echo guy. That rhino. I kept a Rhino on my chest.

I had Echo shoes it one boy.

Oh I didn't do that. No, don't do that to me.

Don't do that to me. Don't let me. Don't have you out here and then you fucking.

Hey, it didn't take it that far. I let Mark Echo into my.

Heart, not my feet, you know what I mean. I think I might have got him out of Marshalls.

Oh you had to have listen. There were those were straight to Marshall releases.

Yeah, the shoes.

I don't even know if they were available on the website.

You know it wasn't a foot locker, that's for goddamn sure.

Hell no. Can you imagine going up to one of those mean ass teenagers that ran the foot logger and saying, I'll take a pair of Mark Echo sneakers in size twelve and a half please?

Yeah, do you have a do you do they run big? I need to know if these run wide?

Give me your irregular Mark echos please.

I hate you remembered my shoe sides.

You told me like eight minutes ago.

Yeah, I thought I thought it had gone down. I'm like sink German, I'm David boy.

And we were so excited because we get to we get to do the ship that we do every week. We get to listen and to listen to you, the the dumb dumbs at home about your conspiracies and all the the bullshit that you've made up in your lives.

I love to hear the stupid things you think.

We we care deeply about the stupid things you think.

Your dumb shit, you losers.

You fucking dueves. Oh and that is true. Oh, it just reminded us that after years, I would say, years of deliberation and sort of uh, back and forth. We finally decided what we think we should be calling our listeners and uh and and we all feel I think we all feel pretty good about this.

I'm so excited.

Yeah, okay, after years of discussion and doubt, we finally landed. If you are a fan of this show, you will now be referred to as Little Mama's.

Brough. I got excited.

Yeah, I think Little Mama's is now what she'll be known as. So all you little Mama's out there were excited to hear your theories.

Come on popping my little school. All the boys be jocking, they checking after school.

Yeah, we gotta get one of them T shirts with Jay Z, Alicia Keys and you idiots standing back to back.

I do want to say I thought that was cool.

You thought what Little Mama did was cool?

I did think that was cool.

Say more, go ahead and explain that to me.

They were doing the things. She's from New York, she was feeling it.

Yeah, but you know she doesn't belong there.

Come on, I just listen. I love a grandstand, right, I love I love I love a large display of emotion. I okay, maybe not maybe cool isn't what I mean to say, but like, I get why she did that.

Okay, I get why. I can I can like she hear that she was in.

Front, they were going come on, and it was still jungle wis to me, that's it's exciting.

I will acknowledge that this was in the height of I wouldn't say the height of Little Mama, but it was still within a bell curve of Little Mama's potential sort of like success right, Like she wasn't a complete failure by this point, which mere absolutely I would say that Little Mama has has burned. That star has burned out pretty conclusively. I'm not still planning to hear a new Little Mama song that's gonna break through the that that wall. But maybe I'm wrong, you know what I mean.

I think that's the difference between us is still And like I said, I'm a loyal fan. I still believe in Little Mama. I think something could happen.

Then, And so I guess when you say a loyal fan, you are acknowledging that you were and continue to be a Little Mama fan.

Rest in peace to Hazelose.

So okay, uh, that again, I think that's where we are different.

It's fine, it's fine.

I was never a Low Mama fan. I was at best tolerant of.

Don't you come over here judging me as a Bruno Mars fan. Bruno Mars, you talk to me like that.

Bruno Mars puts on a better show than any living artists. And and I dare you to prove me wrong.

That said.

Asaid, I don't think anybody's saying that about Low Mama. I think they're all like, yeah, that.

Was that's Bro. I did. I did. I was on, I was on I'm on tour right now, and my opener is a big Bruno Mars guy, and he did play a couple and I was like, I was like, oh.

Shit, bro, twenty four Magic, twenty four carry Magic is It's insane? Just play the album.

Have you seen him live? Yeah? How many? Yeah?

I was on Mally and I cried. It was beautiful.

You cried.

Hell yeah, wow. And they's just having so much fun. He's so little, he's so little, and all his friends are just big black dudes who seem like cool guys. I don't know, it's just the best.

It's very similar to my life.

Yeah.

It was just like, ah, man, this is just a little a little Filipino dude hanging out with his buddies. Hawaiian.

What is he?

I don't know, Jerry, And what the fuck is Brunie? I don't know where. You know he's from Hawaii, right, he's from Hawaii. But I feel like there's other mixes in there. He's just just a silly billy and you got a roof for him.

Yeah, all right, all right, that's fair. That's fair. And like I said, I heard some of the hits and I was like, damn, this is very good.

I root for motherfuckers having fun. I do genuinely try to come from that position. So to your point, I do think little Mama had a good time that night.

She was having a good time.

I think she had a great time. I just don't think that she's ever made anything that that backs up that level of confidence. But I respect that she was having fun.

I literally only know the one song My.

Lip Gloss, And then there's the uh she had that other one the chicken wouldn't no chicken noodle soup? Wasn't her?

Right? That was another girl. She was funny too. One ton Yeah, yeah, damn.

We got an email from who I assume is also a pervert. A person named Alexandria. Alexandria sent us an email. The subject line reads, headlights mean death and they specified this is a motherfucking mini episode thing, and you don't get to designate that for us to do. You will decide when the fuck we talk about this shit, and it's not gonna be because you declared it in the subject line of your email. Alexandria, if that's in your.

Real name, I mean, we're doing it now, but later.

Yeah, yeah, sure, we're following you right now. But that's our choice.

That's a coincidence, you bitch.

Alexandria says hi, y'all. Firstly, I was recommended the podcast and April and began listening from the first episode. It is the end. It is the end of September, and I'm already caught up to February of twenty twenty three. So y'all good or whatever. Langstey were fantastic hosts solo, and the show has only been made more hilarious by David's co hosting. Also shout out to Olivia. We stand a research queen. Greetings, salutations, sorrows, sorrows, prayers.

To be fair, Langston does the research.

I do. I do a fair amount of the research, but I do want to give Olivia her credit. She often comes in with that last minute hell Mary that we often need to fill it all out. So shout out to Olivia, but not too big of a shout out. She ain't doing that much of that research work.

You all the steak. I'm the sizzle, buddy.

You're like that that onion volcano at the Hibachi restaurant.

I'm on fire.

You're what we came for. I'm I'm not sure that it has any purpose, but you're absolutely why we show up to this place.

Honestly, probably not gonna eat it.

And surely I don't even think they used the onions afterwards. I think they just waste an onion to entertain a bunch of adults with smoke and and somehow everybody's favorite part it. Alexandria said, okay, so boom, I got my driver's license in two thousand and five and Tacoma, Washington. Yeah, shout out Tacoma.

Uh.

I distinctly, I wasn't gonna say it. I thought maybe you had a fond memory or two that you could point to, but.

No, yo, I mean, it's like night's like I like it there, but it sucks.

Sure, it's like the nothing going on to make you feel alive and want to keep going.

You never go to a place where there's just a whole bunch of black people there for no reason. Mm, that's Tacoma, Washington.

Got you like that, Like black people got trapped.

Like they're just seems there's just a bunch of them over there. Nobody really knows how we got here, but we're not leaving how to get Yeah, anyways, she.

Says, I distinctly remember being warned, not sure by whom, that while driving, if a car is approaching with its headlights off, not to flash my lights at them. There was a rumored gang initiation that if you flash your lights, the car would flip a yuwie, chase you down and kill you. I talked to a friend of mine for from the same area, and he said he'd heard the same thing. We laughed at the fact that to this day, at our big ages, we do not flash our lights

White bitch, get fucked.

Crazy, A beautiful blue eye, blond white girl.

I'll be white hose.

My favorite part of that video that we never really addressed is that, uh he says like every time I go to the club, I leave with and then he puts like that pregnant pause, and then the white dude goes a white bitch.

Yeah, yeah, that is crazy.

And then he goes on to call her like a beautiful blonde white girl. But like the dude is like bitch, It's like a stupid It's like, fuck, man, this is a bad night for everybody involved.

No, that sucks. If I went to that concert, I would be like, this sucks.

Right because you didn't come for Alphonso Roberto. Of course you came for that band.

No one has ever gone to a concert for Alfon. Nobody is like maybe Carleton's gonna come on right, and even speech.

Even in the height of the Fresh Prince, you if you went and saw Will Smith perform you weren't like I got I God, I hope he brings alfonsever.

Because you know that Carlton can't rap right, or maybe he could rap crazy and that's what Smith suppressed him.

Oh that he's like a better rapper and Will Smith couldn't handle that.

I've often felt that Carlton was the hero of that show in a way that he never got his credit for.

I'm not fighting this. I will say that that if I had to weigh who was the funniest person on that show, come on, it probably is Alfonso roberta pretty consistently.

Will is kind of a dick, and I.

Think Will was getting getting served up storylines that centered him. So we were rooting for Will. But if we were just talking about yo, what was the funniest part of every single episode?

Always Carlton? What's Will's dance? I'm saying. And also Carlton was a real one. He held Will down. Bro Like Will was a bad cousin to Carlton, Carlton was a good cousin to Will.

Carlton was gonna murder somebody.

Figure he had to blame me on him.

Yeah, he really was gonna use it.

He was gonna shoot a man. Will was never gonna shoot nobody to Carlton.

Will left him in the in MacArthur Park. Yeah.

It's so funny because when I moved to LA I went to MacArthur Park and I was like, I ain't shoot nobody in here.

And I wouldn't I keep my gun away in Macarloy.

But I just say that all that to say, like Carlton was a real one man. He was. He was a really good guy. And Will kind of sucked, which you know, I mean as far as has how life is gone. Still pretty cool guy.

Yeah, yeah, I'll find a vera cool guy.

Will Smith has been a tough time And listen, I listened to his entire audio book. I know about the man? Oh did you Yeah, I have to take a walk listen to Sometimes.

Well it's called something stupid, right, It's called like Will I was.

It's like, Bro, the problem with it is like this nigga can't stop being a movie star. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. So like even in the times that he chooses to be vulnerable, it's still in a way that presents him as the hero, you know what I'm saying, Like, there's no like there's no like I just did a bad thing. There's none of that there.

I've long had that issue. I think with where Will Smith has evolved into is that like so much of it is just a dude kind of always giving a motivational speech, even in the middle of like things that are are clearly his problem and not are you know what I mean? Like everything is just sort of like this planned, very sort of like strategic sale. And it's like, bro, I I don't need you to sell me on you anymore.

I was.

I'm such a big fan. Just be a person.

Yeah, I don't you know, you could be a bad guy. You made Independence Day? Yeah, I don't give a ship.

Yeah I bro I I showed up for Men in Black two and three knowing that ship was going to be a come on just because I like you.

I low key like three come on and kind of like it. What was that?

What was that eight pounds I advocated for that movie?

Now you don't get it. Every single baby, come on, come on it is I was in there. I love you, I love you, and this is I met this man. I've met him.

Yeah, you've canodled.

We canoodled. We touched each other for sure in a weird way, but like you know, I know what the DIA smells like, Like what do you guys do? Fu fuck boys?

Little mamas? Yeah what they are?

Excuse me, I'm sorry, little mama's.

Where do you had you heard of this conspiracy theory?

I had? I had. I had heard it when I was a kid. I had heard it. I think definitely not from black people, from white people for sure, but yeah, I had heard. So that's why when it came up it was so interesting to me because like, yeah, I had, I had heard.

It, And when you heard it, it was specifically saying that by flashing your lights and caning to turn someone's lights on, that that was that would trigger the initiation for gang members.

There was like it was like that, and then there I feel like there was a few other things, like you would hear of these things that were like gang initiations, right like someone would ask you for a lighter and if you didn't have one, they would kill you because they weren't a gang and shit whoa. And then but the thing for me was as a kid seeing the other kids who were gangs, I was like, he's even stupid, Like I don't think.

They're Yeah, they're not coming up with fun gangs.

Yeah, they're like they're like double guys. Bro.

Yeah if they're if they're killing you, they're just gonna kill you off some dumb shit.

Not. Yeah, they had to like earn it, especially if if you're if it was your family, I get it. But if not, now you're kind of a stupid guy for joining you.

I also think that there is sort of like this and this is maybe more a symptom of the nineties and early two thousands than anything, but there was sort of like this mysticism around gangs that that people had built up, where like they had all these sort of like rules and initiations, and then you get older and

And it's like, bro, you ever met a gang member? Now they're currently suck.

Yeah they're sleepy.

Broh, your thirty gang man in what Yeah?

Yeah, they're mostly just like pulling their pants up and unfocused in a conversation.

You're you have children. Yeah, you have children you have to take to school, you fucking idiot.

Yeah, and we'd all love to leave our kids for for our favorite color.

But of course I would love to leave David Junior to bang the Blue. I always wanted. I always thought my favorite gang members are the ones who racially don't match. Mm were It's just like you're in a Latin gang and you're a black dude. WHOA how did this happen?

Yeah? Man, you grew up in a tough neighborhood.

Huh. It was bad for you, for sure. It was bad for you. When they talk about be Real from Cypress Hill, he was just a blood but he's Cuban. That's interesting.

It is very interesting. It's like that white Kappa, you know what I mean? Or Yeah, how'd you end up here?

Man? We've all seen it. We've all seen them on Instagram.

We've all seen him shimmy.

Man, he loves it.

That's said you you grew up hearing this. You certainly said it was specifically white people warning you of it. So am I to assume then that you were never afraid of this?

No, because my mom had always told me you flash your lights because there's a cop.

Oh wait that that you want to flash your lights because it oh you're born.

You flash a cop. Oh.

So this was more of like a camaraderie thing of being like, hey, there's some ship over here.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, And I trust my mom more than I trust you know, random white people.

So wow, let me say this, and I well, first of all, yes, and and this then makes me feel like maybe this is some weird cop propaganda ship to discourage people from flashing from morning about cops by being like, no, you can't flash, because then that'll be some gang initiation. You'll get murdered in order for the cops to meet their quota and people to pull over and arrest.

And shit, that's interesting because that flashy lights when there's a cop. I lived by it. That it's kept me out of tickets. I've come over hill seen somebody flasher lights and slowed down and there was a cop. Yeah. And I feel like we need that, by the way, we need like shorthand it's important. Yeah.

I feel like I grew up hearing that, like truckers on the Expressway would like when they would block off or like make it so that it was hard for cars to get by. Was part of the reason they were doing that was because of police officers that they were like essentially forewarning the cars behind them that like, hey, there's an officer on the road and you're gonna get pulled over if you're speeding and shit.

Oh interesting, and now this is an oak park. Yeah.

Yeah, the Chicago Land area for sure. It felt like, hey, maybe the truckers are are helping us out by helping to slow down the traffic a little bit.

What's funny about that is that I don't trust people. I don't trust trucktors. Mmm. I'm very afraid of them as a group. Yeah, I don't.

I trust them in the same way that I trust like orangutans, you know what I mean?

Where No, I don't know what you mean at all.

I think they're big old idiots. I think they're big old galoops.

No.

I think what I'm saying is like, I'm fearful of them, but I also honor their existence. I'm glad, I'm interested in them, and I respect them, but I also would not want to spend much time with them one on one.

That makes sense to me.

I like a wall between us. I guess it's maybe a good way of putting it.

Yeah, like you don't because you don't seem like a guy who is a big animal guy. You don't see much.

I love animals, I really yeah, I really like animals. Life is a cold witch of a woman and doesn't have any affection towards animals, and no one in her immediate family does. So I think it's gonna be a real uphill battle for us to ever at any point like have animals.

In our home.

But yeah, I love them, and my daughter loves him a fun time. That's her favorite thing.

Are you guys gonna get like a dog or something?

Or is it I think eventually, yes, I think right now she's she's very firm in her footing, and it's convinced it's it's not worth it. And I'm traveling too much to be able to like force a lady to like wake up dumb early to walk a dog she doesn't want. We talked about this before the pod came on, but I don't think I've ever listened to what the lady is saying back to the child. But she's saying, no, he's sleeping, and it's a bear.

It's a.

Yeah, it's very it's not don't fat the bear.

No, that's so all. This is funny because I also don't I'm like your wife, I don't really care for any Yeah.

No, we've talked about on the pod that you that you would murder dogs.

That all right, relax.

That you would curb stomp a hihuahuai.

Not at all, what's happening. I don't give a ship about them, and I don't think they give a shit about us. And that's all I'm saying.

I agree to disagree. I think that I think that they do give a shit about us. I think certain animals don't. But but dogs, oh, they give a ship.

They see, that's how we evolved, right, the relationship between man man and dog that like helped us evolve a lot. Oh yeah, because when men when we were sleeping, they would like they would throw yeah.

And that allowed us like to get eight hours, which meant that our brains could like develop into something yeah yeah.

Yeah. I also, I also, I will say, to be fair, to be completely truthful, I think that there might be a level of the Lady doth protest too much, And I think maybe I secretly love them so much that I don't want to open it up.

Oh you're like afraid of the kind of relationship you could potentially build with an animal.

It's the same way I feel about magic.

Okay, yeah that like you you go to the right magic show and suddenly you're a magic guy and your skin you're good. No, you finally see Chris Angel, Like, this is the funk I want to be.

Play you trying to play me? Don't do that to me. I met that I'm a fucking.

Mind freeing call me David mind freak bory because I'm in.

I hate this, Like, what did you mean? I bet? Like maybe I think that, like ultimately, like maybe I do believe in horoscopes and things like that. That's why I rejected so hard.

I could see that I've I've long maintained that I'm not one hundred percent sure that like ghosts and witchcraft and all of that stuff doesn't exist. But as long as long as I don't welcome it into my life, as long as I don't fuck around with ouiji boards and spirits and hell you know, fucking uh what's her name? Bloody Mary and ship and I'll be fine if I start dipping my toe these ships are going to start showing up.

Yeah, because I see I seen a ghost one time.

Whoa, what were you doing?

Nigga? It was fucked up. I wouldn't do it anything I was in. I was in my room and I went to bed. We had been partying that night, and I went to bed, and then my friend David, I thought it looked like him, so I like, I woke up and he was standing in the corner and like you couldn't see anything, but it felt like the light of his phone was coming up. I was like, David, get out of my room. And then he didn't say nothing.

God damn.

Yeah, it was fucked.

That gave me chills.

Yeah, it was pretty awful.

I hated that. Fuck I hated that story top to bottom.

Ah.

Yeah, I didn't like it either, man, God damn. Yeah, it sucked. It sucked.

Yeah, yeah, no, I've never had that.

That was like that Will Miles story.

Yeah. Yeah, when Will told us that real fucked up. So I don't even remember what it was. I had to put it out of my mind.

It was it was. I mean, well you can hear it if you sign up for a big money Players platinum diamond. I don't know the difference between the all right.

It's it's big money Players uncut gems.

You can.

You can see Will Miles tell a really haunting story about his family being I think abducted by alienation. Sure, sure, yeah, oh that's what it was.

Because he was like, that's why I'm so weird, Will. It is weird in the most hilarious way. He's a very weird guy. You weird guy. I think this has been like forty minutes.

Yeah, I think we've long exceeded our quota for many episodes. But I will say, if we can wrap this bad boy up effectively, Alexandria, it sounds like, while this is probably a very popular conspiracy certainly where you guys are from, it may be more rooted in a type of like manipulation and in propaganda than it is like an actual thing. I don't think the gangs are waiting until you flash their lights to murder you or your family.

This is stupid. Yeah, but I like you.

Yeah, you seem like a nice a nice lady Alexandria, and thanks for listening. Yeah, that's nice of you.

We did it.

We did it.

Do you have do you? I'm taking it now? Do you have anythig that you want to tell the people about?

Well?

Boy, am I glad you took it? Uh? Yeah, if you want to see me live, uh, October twentieth through the twenty first, I'll be a Dead Crow Comedy Room in Wilmington, North Carolina, and then November tenth and eleventh, I'll be in Burlington all the the incton's I'm visiting right now. October tenth and eleventh, I'll be in Burlington, Vermont for the Vermont Comedy Club, and then finally November seventeenth through eighteenth, I'll be at Hyenas Comedy Club in Dallas, Texas.

I'm David Bori, go to I'm on the Aluminum, don't lie. I'm on tour right now. You can see me at Springfield, Missouri October twelfth, Saint Louis, Missouri, October thirteenth and fourteenth, New York City October twenty first, Worcestern, Massachusetts, October twenty second, Kansas City, Missouri, twenty fifth, Soup Falls, South Dakota October twenty sixth, and then Minneapolis, Minnesota, October twenty seventh and twenty eighth. Please come, I really it's nice to see you, guys.

You gotta feed his baby, and you gotta buy the merch to do it. So please go and do that. And as always, if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us what the real initiations are for gangs, send it all to mymama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you. And apparently we are mirror a whisper, a small little drip drop away from hitting the two thousand subscribers on YouTube. I don't know which is not great. I don't think either of us

Well, the fucking mini your soul Mani EVI so well, the fucking mini your sol well, the fucking Minnie Self Mini episode, all the fucking Mini ever Self

Mhm