Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini ever sel.
We we we we we we we we. Welcome to another episode of My Mama told.
Me, I like how you write it down the podcast? Well, we dived deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy, and.
We worked to prove the conspiracies of you, the listeners.
Hell yeah, it's your turn you it's motherfuckers.
Yup and sidebar. He wanted us to think he fucked a cop who pulled him over.
It yeah, that's the yes, she was. She had a legitimate reason to pull over his car and.
He was driving drunk.
Yeah, he was driving drunk and driving fast. It wasn't it wasn't playing it cool. You know how sometimes you drive drunk and you're like, I gotta be cool man.
Yeah.
No, he wasn't doing that. He was like he was like Tommy and fucking belly. Yeah. Yeah. And she pulled him on and she was like, wait, are you are you hit rapper? Little Wayne?
Are you Bobby Valentino shooting passenger.
S This is gonna have to be a group thing, you know what.
You know what, I can't decide both of you fellas get in me.
Yeah, on the side of the street anyway.
I'm like stink Kerman, I'm David Boy, and we we are here to to unpack an email. An email that was sent to us by one of our dear listeners, a person by the name of Kim. Kim sent Thank you, Kim. It means the world to us to hear from you, and Kim said, hello Langston and David. First, let me start the way. I like that, very professional.
Hello David. You don't have to go nuts.
Yeah, there's a lot of you that have you. You feel like you gotta rub our nose and some sort of ship that we didn't make.
What bitch ass niggas one from the cogo.
It's all right man, Hey fuck faces, Yeah, got got some bullshit for you if you want to slurp it up off the ground.
Yeah, I know you're hungry, little piggy. Were at work, y'all. You need to know that we're at work.
Man, My boss is listening. First. Let me start by saying, I love the podcast. I get excited when that little notification pops up. You two are a great fit, like a hand to a glove. Now onto the conspiracy. I love this, Kim. It's it's polite. It's to the point you're nailing it. When I when I was growing up, Kim says, My mom and I would have great conversations. My aunt, my great uncle, and my mom would get into deep debates about life, the Bible, UFOs, et cetera.
My mama told me, if you were an old soul, you had a birthmark like a stamp. This is how you knew you had been here before. Hope you find this interesting, maybe a mini we'll decide that, Kim, And in fact, you're right. Thank you again. Keep up the awesome work. Ps. Hey, David, I would love to bring you a plate with foil on top. Not hitting on you. Just love to cook. That is my profession.
That's what they all say, all right, Kim. No, yeah, I love that.
You sound like a cop pulling over Lil Wayne.
You know what.
You think you're giving him a ticket.
You ain't giving a lucky Luckily for you, Bobby Valentino's My opener has not done well since the os or Bob.
As soon as it stopped being cool to put that juice in your hair and let you just walk around wet all the time, Bobby, Yeah, Bobby was out the game.
Didn't he have like a famous family though? Wasn't he like Bobby Valentino DeBarge or something like that? Was he is he a DeBarge? I thought maybe not at DeBarge, but I probably came from like a prolific, light skinned family.
Oh, I had no idea. That might be wrong, that might be wrong. I truly, I truly have never heard that Bobby Valentino is a is a fucking uh a child of of what's that thing? Nepotism? His real name is Bobby Wilson. Oh, no, Jackie Wilson's son.
Let's see, let's see.
If Bobby Valentino is descended from Jackie Wilson. I'm gonna lose my ship.
No, it looks like his parents were. No, it looks like he's just He's just a regular dude, just dude from Mississippi.
Now, you know who's related to somebody that that is probably not bragging about it anymore? Is Jeremiah is is R. Kelly's nephew birthday sex? Yeah, that's they're related. I think that makes jeremih got on.
That makes sense because that song starts out as a song you sing in the car, and then it gets nasty. Yeah, Yeah.
Yeah, he's got a real uh real Kelly instinct for the disgusting.
Yeah, he wants to pour something on you. I don't know what it is. He wants you.
He wants to pour it all over you. And if you know what it is and it's not okay, you should speak up because because that family has gotten away with quite a bit for too long.
It's not always pleasure. Sometimes it hurts because it hurts.
Well to to to Kim's question, and we we've completely ignored her question to talk about weird Nepo babies of of Hollywood. To Kim's question of the stamp shaped birthmark being a a sign of you having been here before? I guess does it have to be a stamp shape or is it just a birthmark?
Do you?
I I assume everyone has birthmarks. Is that a crazy assumption? I thought everybody has one, and and some are just more substantial than others.
I don't know the rules. I have one, but mine's like mind's like a full discoloration. Oh do you one?
I do on my my hip or like sort of like torso, I have like a mark on the side.
How pretty min It's like, you know, mind like one shorts.
Oh, Olivia says wild you got a big you got a big.
Yeah, I get that.
Looked at it. Well, A birth marks are common, Olivia sent us, not everyone has one. There's no way to predict if a child will have a birthmark or not. I was told, and I don't know if you've heard this, that all mixed kids have birth marks. That that I don't I think they told you that. I don't think that. That's yeah. I didn't like when they said it either. That doesn't mean bragging.
That feels very eugenics.
It feels like you know, God's marking you for Yeah.
Yeah, because I was like, you know, the side effect of your parents abomination. That's where God tried to x you out.
You know how your mommy and daddy committed the ultimates in Well, their work doesn't go unnoticed.
We have proof.
Yeah, we're we're gonna make sure you live with that forever.
I mean that being said, I like this one. I'm not against it. But do you feel like an old soul? I think so. I I think if i'm you seem like you seem like an old man to me.
Yeah, if I'm really reflecting on it, A lot of people will respond that way, and it never makes me feel good. I think I've always considered myself a young, cool person and then they're like, people are like, come on, man, go to bed, and I'm like, I don't understand why you all treat me this way. I actually love it if we were all treated with the same respect. But apparently that's not the case.
That that trailed off. Okay, that got real personal. To be completely candid, one time I ate a gang of mushrooms. Yeah, a gang of mushrooms, and I got caught looking at myself in in the in the mirror, and I don't know, how do you explain it? But I just got this sense I looked, I like saw like through my to like what felt like, you know, the It felt like I had been here for a long time, and this
is this is maybe kind of deep. It felt like I had been here for a long time, and that my plight was that I'm very clever, but not ultimately so it's like, you're very clever, You've you've been clever enough to keep yourself this going this long, but maybe what you're seeking is like true wisdom. WHOA So you're like Loki No, because Loki was like, nah, Loki was like nefarious though, right, Like I don't need any harm
or anything. I think it was just like you was like, oh, you're you're this clever bopping around, but you've been like instead of bopping around, you just need to stand up straight and like take it on head on. But that was I was on drugs.
Was that a revelation for the person you are now or was that a revelation of like, oh, the next generation of David Borie will learn this new tactic of you know what I mean?
It felt more like you was for who I am. It felt like it was the lesson I'm supposed to take out of all of this.
And maybe you can stop the chain of events.
That that right? Right? Because not even a sound, yeah, because not even the sound corny. It was like a pretty pivotal moment in my life. I mean, I'm still silly as hell, but like it was like because I do feel like there's a there's like a level of like being clever and or charming in life that like can really cause you to shirk responsibilities, Like both of those things, specifically being charming can really get you out of having to do a lot of things for yourself and whatnot.
Yeah, now you can you just being a likable person, you can navigate the world with almost zero skills, That's.
What I'm saying. And then and then for me, sometimes I worry that, like maybe my skill is more being likable than it is actual skill. And that's not like that's you can't get by, but at some point that tab is gonna come do. And that's what the mushrooms made me feel, Like.
Yeah, but that's good. The mushrooms like made you call yourself to the table in a way that I think a bunch of silly motherfuckers never will you.
Know what I mean, Like I mean, you gotta eat a gang of them.
Imagine if you're just a silly motherfucker and you only do coke, you know what I mean, you never get to the mushrooms. Then you're just a dude who like is gonna live with charm for for as long as it exists, and then immediately become unlikable around like forty five when everybody's like.
That's what I'm gonna say, that's about when it runs out, when it's like, okay, you were doing it some people's wedding, but now you're back for their twentieth anniversary. Yeah, you're still doing blowing the bathroom and they're like, maybe we just don't need to have.
Yeah, we're good many yeah, or like, oh, you're smoking in front of my kids kids, now, yeah, some of these bits, some of these bits feel like maybe you didn't have to do that one and no, no, no.
No, no no no, Like it's not funny that you're drunk. Now, it's just like, yeah.
Fifteen years ago this was hilarious.
I'm not gonna hold you. But now you drove here.
Yeah, we all parked in the same place. I got car seats in the back.
Maybe honestly, we only invited you because we thought you weren't going to have the money to fly in. So this is all. It's all as much as you.
That's yeah.
I like it though, Yeah, yeah, yeah, well that's because you're an old bad guy. Yeah.
I do feel like an old soul. I do think that that probably is an accurate description of me, and I would say I will say, though I don't know if I would have that same description. I guess I would. Yeah, I don't know. I was thinking it is my wife and old soul, but like she likes to go to bed at like nine thirty. So I'm gonna say, yeah, yeah,
I think that's different. I think that's different. I think the idea of being an old soul is like something you feel inherently and it's probably always been with you. I mean, you can't deny like being young and having a body and then like you know, of course, when you were twenty, you like to stay up later than you like to do now. Like I don't think that.
I think that's just like youth, literal youth, but that idea of like like that feeling of like your being is older or whatever. And I think there's a level of tiredness that I have had my whole life that most people don't, you know what I mean, like a weight.
Of some And I'll say that I feel I feel connected to what you are saying. And I will say that I don't think that that is true of my wife. I think that she's very much a No things are good, the light, life is floaty. I I right, So there's clouds. Let's look at the clouds and talk about that kind Yeah. Yeah, it's like I don't think I don't think you see what those clouds are made of baby Yeah. Those a poison clows.
Yeah, that's that's rain waiting to drop on. I also get the feeling like there was like a time in my life. I just feel like I've been through a lot of things that were back like not like the potato famine, but whatever, like some kind of rice famines in Africa where I was just like, yeah, yeah, the rain really fucked us this. I know. Man, I feel like an old soul and I have a birthmark, is all I'm saying here.
Well, I think maybe, Kim, to answer your question, it sounds like your family isn't completely off base on the possibility that birthmarks may be associated.
With old waves. Wait, does your wife have a birthmark? She does? Okay, this is complicated, yes, just bigger. Oh, because maybe it's the size of the birthmark thing.
I'm gonna I'm going to say mine, but I can't say for sure.
Because you ever somebody like with a face like all birth marked up and you're like, you've been here?
How long are you staying?
Yeah? You need to learn it. Man. You were come on, man, you you fought with Genghis Karm No, man, it's you should have seen the internet.
I haven't seen Chris Cross Apple sauce my man. We gotta we got some work to do.
Just go back your church. No, I think I think I think we did it. I think that this all feels very viable to me.
Yeah, I think I think there there must be some legitimacy to your claim, Kim, And if there's not, who cares there's We've lost nothing in all of this.
No, no, no, We're really all gonna be just fine. Boy.
Do you want to tell the people where they can find you and what cool ship you have going on?
I keep forgetting my dates, but who got Jokes eighty seven? They'll be on there pretty soon. I'm going around this summer. Come check it out, trying to get the jokes the hour together to record something maybe at the end of the year, and then you know, subscribe to our YouTube, but not too fast. And that's that's what I got. Take your time.
I love that well.
As always.
You can follow me at Langston Kerman and I'll be in Bloomington, Indiana next week the April twenty eighth and twenty ninth, and then the following week May fifth and sixth, I'll be at the Atlanta Comedy theater, and then the week after that I will be at Wives Guys in Las Vegas, so so plenty of opportunities to come see me live. It's very different than than whatever this is that we get into, and so that that's nice for you because you'll be like, whoa ah, wow, that's that's new.
He said words that I don't recognize sometimes that's that's cool.
Is that what you say here?
Life is Yeah, i'd say that that everybody who leaves goes eh.
That's pretty cool, all right. Mind is similar to this, I'm just talking longer. It's like the same. Probably a lot of the same plot points, recurring themes, Definitely.
A lot of terry crews talk in the live show with Bory.
Yeah.
Just up top though, and as always, you can if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you want to to explain why your birthmark actually makes you a young soul, a child at heart, then please send that to my mama pot at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you. That is about it. By bitch, motherfucking Mini yourself.
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