What I've been doing is I've been doing like, uh, I wanted to look like every picture my grandpa took in Africa in the seventies where he's not even fully aware of a camera.
So it's just like.
Just surprised, just like not even surprised this directly.
And I but that doesn't I did it in a group picture and got tagged, and I was I was looking at a picture and I was laughing, and my girl's like, oh, it's so funny. And I showed to her and she's like, you maybe don't do that in group Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, people like this is my man. Yeah, yeah, it's just it's just me at the comedy store. Like it actually makes you look like you're a real problem. Yeah, to be around you're like, hey, what's the walway bro't.
Chips?
Racist? The money in turn stuff I can't tell me. Homies over hose, homies over hose, homies over hose. There it is there, It is Little Mama's and gentiles like Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally work to approve you know it, you love it. Not a goddamn thing. We ain't helping at all. I don't really even know anything, you know what, You're right, Yeah, we don't know a thing.
We haven't been right about a thing once, and you guys keep coming back to us for more information. One comment we get sometimes when people are like loud and wrong, I have to be like, Okay, yes, I was both of those things in that clip. I will say that.
And sometimes we'll get that comment that I think is a very popular one on the internet of like, we got to take these podcast mics away from from everybody, and and sometimes we'll get that, Yeah, we can get it sometimes and a part of me goes, fuck you, But the other part of me is like, well, yeah, take this away. As you think I'm doing this, well, get back on the mic till they get hear you. But but yeah, you get a point. It's a good point.
I would just be doing this in a Bonds parking lot if we didn't have any of this.
Before we get started.
Yeah, that was amazing. Oh, this is actually really enjoyed that though everything I was captivating, So that's why I was kind of like, damn.
This is good now it's just how we talk to each other.
Yeah.
Yeah, we have a good system. It works for us. Before we get the podcast started, before we we take even a step further, we have a big announcement. I have a big announcement. This will be a news for you as well. We were. I didn't say a word because I wanted us to all surprise, be surprised by the information. Like turning Point, USA, we hear it. My mama told me this is a big announcement. Are also
going to be putting on our own halftime experience. That's right, that's right, And I don't want to give too much away. But but what I will say is you can very much expect to see Tyresee Gibson singing Sweet Lady while Stevie Wonder does and one style dribbling in on the camera. He's gonna be Stevie Wonder is going to be dribbling and Tyresee is gonna be singing. My mama told me tune in halftime next year. We're gonna have that all set up for you at all. You do not explain anything.
What are you talking about? A basketball game? No halftime of the football game? Man, what team I don't even care what team?
What are you talking about?
And I was just making some money. You made it, you made it very serious. That sucks. That was real fun for that sucks. I thought you said it like it was like you said it like you had like a I thought it would be fun to trick me. Yeah, I thought it would be fun. Is it going to be dubbed in Spanish? No, it's now it's ruined. It's not even going to happen. He just played it. No, you it could have been. We could have dreamt together. What could have happened? Okay, but I'm sorry to do
it this way. I'm trying to be cool about this. But now you're being nasty. Now you're being nasty. I tried to be fantastical with my friend.
I tried to live in a world where we dreamt together.
And instead what you did you negated you, you know, butted. You didn't want to because the rollout was trashed. You didn't anything. You just smiled real big and you were like Tyrene Stevie Wonder halftime.
You didn't say the you're turning point U s A. You're not you know, I'm not friendly with that.
When you hear Tyreese and Stevie Wonder. What more do you need to hear hard facts?
No?
I need an arrival to Stevie Wonder.
Did it for me?
Man?
That's and that's where you're not a dreamer. And I see that now.
I just told you I have a hard time with Whimsy.
You know that. He said Whimsy was tough. Yeah, I thought we were having a good time.
I didn't.
You gotta let your whimsical spirit go. This is what this is about. If it's not, what if it's just not. Some people aren't tall or funny or whatever. Maybe I just don't. I just don't have that.
We all don't check a list, you know what I mean? But free up, Let your whimsical chakra go. Do you see how high my zipper is? And this is me doing my best. I'm doing my best right now.
You look great. I'm personality sucks. You look great. I'll take you. That was a nation I was always hoping for in this life. I'm gonna lose one hundred more pounds and be a terrible.
Piece of ship.
Magazine covers talking down to people. Would you do Calvin Klan if they ask you? Ah? And and remember Calvin Klein is the most cool one to do.
Yep, just like crotch out. That's like nipples out. You're gonna have to get whimsical for that.
I don't think you do. I think I could smolder. I think if I did Calvin Klin check, it's like, let me see the smolder names may hold on, hold on, wait David whoa whoa? Okay, Okay, see I now once you I think that's when it stops being modeled. I don't you get. I don't think like boys is in point at the camera as much as I don't really know what to do in my head.
We just took a picture together last night and I was like, you're so good at it, you like popped in and then I just I just never know what to do fully with Oh yeah, I've chosen.
To be to be weird in every picture to avoid the feeling of like, oh I tried and it looks bad. What do you do? Whatever the fuck comes in my.
Head, like what's the what's one weird pose that you've done? But it's like charming when he doesn't because I'm too tall, so I can't do anything goofy that. I get that, like I have to keep it very basic. You can't get that, you can't lay down on the ground.
No.
Yeah, And then they got to flip the phone and a lot of times my head is cut off in a lot of pig like bend down.
You horizontal.
I don't know if just like a vertical camera can take that all in a lot of that's a lot.
That's it's Montel jordan syndrome.
Montel Jordan's syndrome, which a lot of people do suffer from. I want to Montel Jordan. That was you didn't have anybody else to I didn't really have to be you know what I'm saying. Friday he made me look forward to the weekend. But in that video, that video, though he wasn't nobody before him, they started the whole weekend. Everybody was like, keep.
This week going, this ship fun. I own with Friday. Hey, can I be vulnerable with you guys. I don't know what he meant when he said I gotta get mine in a big black truck.
What do you mean it's a are you serious? Yeah? I don't know what he was talking about.
So it's like back then there was jeeps that everybody was riding around Jeeps yeah, so he got I gotta get mine.
Then why do you tell me I could get mine in the sixth form? I mean, because you can get yours on a low ride. I can get it. He's I think he's lying you. He's like, Yo, I'm so huge, I gotta get mine in a big black truck. Okay, But I think he's also saying, enjoy yourself. You don't got a ride like I. Oh, okay, I get that where it's like, I don't know about y'all, but I got over here with it. I like, honey, Chipotle, I'm a big black truck hunting. I'm a big I need
a big black truck. I can't fit in the sixth fold. I didn't know he was so big until I got older, though, even though when you watch, like in The Naughty Professor, he was so was that Naughty Professor was a uh it wasn't a Bad Boys. He was a Professor Professor. He was in the Church movie too.
I think so.
Boys is John Sally Montell Jordan's he was singing before Dave Chappelle made fun of but he was from one of the B sides. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, damn yeah, I'll be doing great to man, if you want to come on, mon tell us, we could fit it. We got a chair for your big Yeah. Man, if you see this fucks with you, go bro, and not even just this is how we do it. I'm a let's ride guy. Hell yeah, I thought that that was good ass. Let's ride? Yeah, name one more? Hey, you know.
When I was like, damn, I might just be one.
So let's let's ride is good.
That's also top tier master P.
I think that's right. That's about as good as my ride. You're absolutely right good as Master P goods Let's Ride or that's song bad about It? I think those are the two best masters. We don't know that. Master P's who we are turning to warmly and uh because of his music.
He's the colonel of the motherfucking tank. And I appreciate that well. I like his music. I don't think it's like when we were talking about Noriega the other day and I was like, I just like it. I like it sometimes when just as a guy is talking having fun, you don't have to be lyrical miracle.
I think I think that there are still better examples even in his camp of rappers and masterpce what what?
What?
What?
That was a very like I.
Got a cocker Spaniel.
I don't think that.
I don't think that means anything. But he's having so much fun that I'm having fun.
Oh that's how I That's not how you listen to how I feel it is a favorite artist, my favorite artist. Oh, that's that's a good question. This is not how we traditionally start the podcast with. Sorry.
I think I'm pretty.
Sure my favorite artist. If I'm giving like lifetime answer, probably Andre three thousands WHOA. Okay. If I'm wanting to want to call poetry dude, if I'm giving my most contemporary answer, it might be Franko.
Really, I can.
See I can see both those picks. See, I thought you were Bruno Mars Guy. Bruno Mars is my Bruno Mars is is Uh. He's ascended past uh, sort of like artists. For me, he is, he's my favorite entity. That it only adds to the pleasure that he brings.
That ship makes me sad.
When you see those clips and he's just dancing his little heart out.
That ship does bump me out.
Bro.
I saw him live on Molly and it was it was like a fucking angel had lifted me up.
You know, he's I think of him like, and I reference this a lot.
I think of him like a Jamie Fox because Jamie Fox is from who all blessings flow for me and entertainment. Yeah, it's like Jamie Fox can do anything, anything, any aspect of this business.
He's amazing. And I think Bruno Mars is like of the same.
Yeah, sure he could do and thousand is also extremely How did you feel about the flute?
Yes, honestly, let's bring the flute.
Let's I'm so sorry to I don't.
Know why you're choosing to be nasty. We invited you here the presumption that this was this is going to be a positive sharing experience, and here you come being fucking provocative and ship. I just ain't tmz nigga right right.
You.
Flute is valid, that's a valid question.
Is a valid question.
It's a lot of his catalog.
Here's here's what I will say that I genuinely believe about the flute is that I am not a jazz person, Like I didn't start off as a jazz person, and so I'm not in a position to have an opinion on it in a in a meaningful way. It is not an album I return to, but it also would not have been an album I return to even if it was the best album that had ever been made. So I don't actually know if that ship's banging or not, because it ain't really for me.
I respect that you listen to the whole thing because I remember the exactly and I felt so good about myself, even like I'm gonna sit down and I'm gonna I'm gonna get into it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I was like, I was like I couldn't wait to stuart on other people. Like as the first track was starting in my head, I was being like, have you worked number seven? Having fake conversations?
What's my favorite song?
It's hard? Yeah.
I respect the artistry though, to be able to switch and do something else, Like.
How many rappers have you ever seen play anything exactly?
You know?
I think Lil Wayne pretended to play the guitar, and I think that's why he remains my favorite artist, because he's demonstrating. Frankly, as a comedian, one of my biggest fears is what could be the pivot from this is play? Like how do I parachute out of this ship? And is it a flute is terrifying but also inspiring as fuck that that was at the grove with it. He's like, I'm practicing. I really believe in this as like my next outlet. I'm committing to it. What a beautiful choice.
I mean, he is multi platinum in the way that he has money where he.
Could just get a flute. One hundred percent that does need to be because like, man, you guys, give me some money, I'm going to be at the grove with all kinds of weird shit.
Yeah, grow with crazy shit you don't know who knows.
And I think that's what makes me continue to believe he really is the greatest rapper of all time is because he got so fucking good at it that he was like you over it.
Yeah, because every time he would contact you'd be like, oh my god. Remember when the walk It Out remix came out and you're like, well it was happening.
Yeah, you know, he's like doing inspirational music underneath walk It Out. Yeah, this ship is still bang. When you're talking about cars were metal instead of plastic value, I was like, I didn't even know. I never even thought about it. Yeah, do we want to hear any other old rappers.
Brother, It's that's a tough question. That's a tough question.
I want to hear the old rappers who are having fun still, I don't want to hear the old guys who seem to have gotten bitter, Okay, because I would want to hear Big Boy too, because if you look on Instagram, big boys just hanging out with.
Owls, cooking food, and you're like, Okay, I.
Want I want that. But I don't want to hear like some like back of my Daddy. I can't. I genuinely do believe the the gentlemen of outcasts have aged better than any other rapper period. Oh there is nobody I would put ahead of them. Jay Z is who a lot of people are going to point to. But jay Z turned into a full like nightmare capitalist in order to like pivot out of it. But we always was reasonable doubt, just all right. But I'm saying that, like he had to become like the version of the
thing that he referred to as his enemy. We all knew this is who I felt like, who he was becoming.
Bro.
I'm not talking about the making the money part of it. I'm saying that, like the alignment with the police. He's sitting down with Jerry Kushna. That ain't That wasn't the game. He didn't talk about that, you know what I mean, like that you aren't like YO when you were like, no, I'm moving with with villains because that's who really who is helping me get to where I need to be. But he wasn't like YO. For the rest of my life,
that's who I like. It's just dirt bags. Even the whole premise of getting rid of Dane Dash was under this like guys of no, I've grown up beyond this. Now I'm in a different space. And I was like, no, I figured out how to make a pair of jeans. I buttoned up, bro, And that was That was when he started to lose me because I wasn't there yet. He's like, I'm getting I'm getting some beach side property.
Yeah yeah, And I was like, I still like that was a rough time, Like, No, I wasn't on that because I was just not.
I did not have access to the button downs he had.
My button downs was from this place called Forman Mills from the East coast, so we had it was like it would be like a Burlington coat factory, but.
They wasn't good button there, you know how you get the cheap forman mills. Sounds like somebody was trying to do Burlington Coat Factory and couldn't quite nail it. Yeah, that slogan was stretched those bills Former mill. Yeah, that's that's man. That's a bad place. I'm at the rock there though. Okay, so yes, early early on, whoa, yeah.
We're button downs because he.
Was pretending to be Italian. Yeah, bro, by the way, can we bring back Italian Rocks the best one.
I really liked him as an Italian guy.
I think the Italian in his new movie. Yeah, he's now going on. What's going on with that? He's trying to reset and it's it sucks trying to reset. I see it as Italian.
I seen, bro, I've seen him at the movie.
Yeah, I saw the I saw the premiere and then when they came out and talked afterwards, and like when he talks, you're just like.
Trying to be president for real. Yeah, he wants to be Italian. Man. That's that's a real bummer. But I do agree Italian Rock at his favorite. When he had us saying JABRONI, yeah, I said it all the time. Yeah, cool, Poon Tang Pie all that ship. That was. That was cool. Man. It was cool to say, do you smell what I'm cooking? Yeah?
That was really It doesn't matter, Yeah, it doesn't matter. He's like, all right, I'm saying it. That's a top three white clip Shon song to me, it ain't number four exactly. That was so cool.
Yeah, man, Nah, you're you're absolutely right. We share a birthday, you and the rock. Oh good, what do you guys? Pisces? No, we're taurs too. Where's your birthday? April twenty third? Okay, that's why you'd be so chill reserved to you know, niggas. Yeah, I'm the same way.
Yeah, I get there.
I get there. I'm a mad tourist. It's a little what's your birthday to my own? Oh? The fifth? Yeah, okay, mine's the second. Okay, Oh wow, Oh this is amazing. That's why earth Tones and I see you. Yeah, it's a problem. I really you believe in the witchcraft? I actually really do. Okay, I'm excited.
More can I say about that ship?
Though?
Sometimes when I read it, I am like, this is more like me than I would like it to be. It's like when it's like tourists do this and they move like this, and if you and then like I read it.
And I'm like, I can't even pretend like that isn't right very close, and I I wonder how much of that, if I'm being my most cynical, is that a bunch of people through generations have handed our personalities down to us. That like, if the language around the time and date that you were born is that this is how your personality will be, you can dictate a personality to a person. Yeah, but you didn't know that in your development. I didn't know that. I didn't. I didn't know anything about that
growing up. But but your mom, your dad know, my mom's from Africa.
We just first generation. I argue with that, we don't even wet know nothing.
About any any skycraft Africa. Okay, first of all, you gotta realize they said skycraft that was crazy, Skycraft is awful. Heard that That's what it's like. White guys say, oh, you don't do that skycraf between stars of.
Witchcraft. Uh no, not that I'm not nothing.
Love.
I feel like also, if there was like some sort of African astrology, hoteps would have let us know about we would it would have been at least in the like conspiracy, you.
Know what, it would have I do think that's why they skipped straight to Egyptian. Yeah, because if they do like like the main continent Africa, they're gonna have a lot more trouble with their like, uh, their connections with Egypt. It's more ancient and therefore there are like solutions that they can find inside of this that they can't. But if y'all are listening, maybe start African astrology. That could be good. That could be good. That'd be that'd be
really nice. I could go huge. I actually think that was that was rough. Nigga wouldn't have fun with me before. It's really fun and I think you blew it. I guess today didn't blow it. We've had probably a first segment's worth of conversation breaks. He's hilarious. Man, We're really happy he's here. You know him. You know him from from stand up comedy. You know him from the Kevin Lange Show, a very popular program. Uh, he's very funny. He's on tour right now. You're gonna love him. Give
it up for herman, rais everybody. I want you to know this.
If your prayers include me to stop drinking, stop smoking, and stop having fun and stop.
Watching these little bitches spop d adds.
If your prayers include any of those things, They're not gonna work because I'm rejecting them all and I will be continuing in my saying wicked ass motherfucking waves.
I gets it that the way you want to put m that was perfect for me. We like to put some thought.
Okay, I was really good. I was like, damn my wicked ways. I was just praying this morning. I am very happy to be here. Thank you for having me.
You've done so much so I hold you in such a high regard as a comic, so I really appreciate you having me on the podcast. I never told you that, and we can move past that because getting mushy.
You know what I mean, suck. But I definitely definitely I hated how that feels. Definitely respect you so much as a comic. David.
This I'm first meet and you brother, but you're so I think, so down to earth, So thank.
You about half as much.
Well you've made me.
You made me feel so comfortable as I've been here. And then I found out that we all tour, so that makes me feel even more comfortable.
Good, you're happy to be here. We couldn't be happier that you're here. Please get off our dicks.
That we don't take compliments, well, but.
We You came to us with a conspiracy theory that that I'm s We haven't talked about this ever once, I think on the podcast. It has never come up on the podcast, which you would think is insane. But you said, my mama told me Bigfoot is real. Yes, let's go tell us everything. I know so many questions.
Okay, here's my thing, and I'm gonna make it as basic as possible right before we even get.
Into the theories.
Do you think there is a man with enough time to walk around making twenty four to thirty six inch footprints to prove a creature is real?
Yes? And I think he has a podcast in Yeah, Bro, I mean I'll be having a lot of time.
You have enough time to go and make big ass tracks in the forest.
If I lived forest adjacent I could guarantee ten to twelve tracks a week. Those are pretty good numbers.
I have enough unaccounted for time, being like my girls at work in between shows sometimes at I'll drive an hour. I'd be like, oh me and likes going to the store, and then I will go do that. Yeah, I can fully see that for you, But that's not my issue. I I I like the idea that now I feel like I've given up too much of my game.
Are looking at me? Yeah, here, I just got more than you think, is all, is what I'm saying. And I think he has even less time than a lot of people, right, Like, I think there's a lot of people out in the world who have like spare time than a motherfucker.
Yeah man, yeah, okay, but that's not I don't but everywhere in multiple on multiple continents, because it seems like a lot of places have their own bigfoot.
That's what I wanted to get into, right, It's like the abominable stillman, the yetty there's one in South America right right, Like, that's that, and that to me is the greatest kind of like marker towards this is a possible. It's like how every culture has dragons, right, These cultures that never interacted with each other still have the idea of what dragons are.
And then you're like, okay, well maybe and that's what I feel about because it feels like, if it's real, it's obviously some kind of a missing link between us and primates, right sure, and that that story itself does not feel crazy to me. Yeah, I always had a little bit of trouble with the missing link part.
Of it, or I don't know, missing link might not be the right term. I'm something somewhere the development between that in here.
I don't actually mean that, I'm not judging the suggestion of a missing link, because I think that's that is part of the shit. I've always had a little bit more trouble with the premise that this isn't kind of like a thing living like it always felt arrogant of humans to be like, well, it's probably like those would not like you know what I mean, where it's like it's the way that giraffes and horses ain't related, do
you know what I mean? Like they're like, uh, they're not like loose cousins the same way that we would think they are, just because they're walking on all fours and they they sort of like gallop and ship. So you don't like the idea that I don't think so, I know, it feels like they could and if they are bad, it feels like a giraffe is a stretched out horse. If they are, what the fuck do you want from me? They both got weird tongs and like weak legs. I think they might be looking. Are not
closely related. They are in different taxonomic orders, and their lineages diverge over fifty million years ago. Horses are odd toed ungut ungulates. That you can't say that about yea being crazy. Man, don't no horse, no ungulat. And then for all the ungulates, listen, I love your food. Yeah, man, I love it. The ungulate parade goes off every month. More paprika, that's what I say. While giraffes are even
told ungulates, this means that regulates more close. Giraffe is more closely related to a hippo or a goat than to a horse. Wow. See that's a dangerous kind of math. Like it's that feels like racial math, like where it's like you don't even know what she told you got. Yeah, I don't even know what to do with that. Okay, racial math is hilarious.
We've all done it.
We have all done it. So you believe in bigfoot, I do believe in bigfoot, and and besides the footprints, what other reasons do you have to believe.
There's multiple counts in different places. Like I said, it's very hard. I feel like for these stories to be shared on different kind continents with no means of you know what I mean, like a letter in a bottle. We got a big foot too, you know, I don't believe that. And then also I do believe that there might be a hollow earth, so maybe.
You can lead that. I'm so sorry.
So I believe that maybe it's some things that are here or remnants of things that have always been here throughout time that can't be explained. That's why a lot of things get covered up. That's why we don't know about a lot of ship you know what I mean. Like so I feel like, yes, I do believe, and that's one of the reasons. I just feel like it's so many accounts in different places.
You coming in crazy. We gotta go to breaks so we can come here, No, we gotta. We maybe need to rethink some strategy. This nigga was nuts.
We got one. We got one.
We got one.
Me and David going to We'll be right back after this more. My mama told me, look at.
Your day, but said he's on meat stretcher. He all stretch on me. Hall a Lujah, and look at your neighborhood and say, maybe big Foot's real. We're back. Let's still stay the meat stretching things can look at you. You're a meat stretcher. You'll stretch your meat. Also, big Foot is reel.
Hey, and honestly, I will I make a pound of ground beef fly six weeks.
What's up? Okay, that's a you know what. You're very fast on your feet mentally you getting away from big Foot. The yard was about a five to two height and that's a lie. It was five four al RIGHTA hey, cat Williams the wishes he could run as fast as you were. No, I think he could. I think I think I was just yeah, it looked pretty good. I'm not gonna lie. He at fifty is running. I know he's not running a actual like whatever it was for flat that he was claiming. Yeah, a four flat is crazy,
but either way, he he was fast as fuck. He was fast. He was fast. He was fast and like because fifty, who was sprints anymore? That's like, yeah, you could hurt yourself. Yeah, and he's he's physically been through so much that you would what he means. Nigga didn't have teeth for a long time, you know what I mean. He's got a life where you would expect him to not be able to move no more. And he's yeah, he's running a four or five. Yeah, I don't think that's true for six. No, No, I think I think
it was probably five. I mean, but five for fifty, that's crazy. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Four six is like Division one athlete, that's combine, right, Yeah, you're not gonna run a four to six right now. I was a Division one athlete, man, All right, brother, what do you want to see? Brother? I was a baby once. We all want something, we all yeah, yeah, I understand how time works. I know what the fuck I used to be able to do and what I
can't do no more. To stick to my consperience, I'm not going to come at you like that. Congratulations with me, both of us. That comes from a place of jealousy, for sure, deeply jealousy. Cool, y'all still got you do that? Don't do that test?
Come on, baby, you got hair you yeah?
Yeah, oh, let's go. I forgot you didn't know his secret.
You didn't know his one weakness because I.
Was not ready at all this whole time. I thought you knew that I know it all. You play it off. Well, I had no idea. I had no idea. He keep that hat on tight? Yeah no, no, you know what I mean. It ain't no loose. Yeah, yeah, you had it that That makes sense. Now I ain't got his exact size it lids. He goes to a different lids.
Okay, now it feels like we're even again.
Everything's back to those four.
To three different ungulates.
I like that her level play field. Uh. You you've revealed to us. You believe in the possibility of a hollow earth. You've revealed to us at Bigfoot, you believe it is real. Have you always felt this way? Where did this come from for you?
I've always wanted to believe, because, first of all, I'm a super huge fan of Indiana Jones. Me and my grandma used to watch it together. So I love I love the Discovery and like National Treasure is one of my favorite you know what I mean.
So I really enjoy the thought of tomb raid.
I really enjoyed the thought of discovering things from the past and places that may not be as a parent like again, deep holes in the earth, deep cabins like so strange, again, like conspiracy theories. It's like, because I believe in Bigfoot, I believe in all types of things, hollow Earth, I believe that there might be some type of tunnel that leads you somewhere. They found ancient ruins of the Grand Canyons. Oh okay, no, no, goohead, No,
I don't want to talk. Okay, you sure, yeah, get whimsical on.
The point is as another question, I too find myself sort of wanting that level of fantasy to exist. Where I have trouble is that it becomes a bunch of motherfuckers I don't respect, becoming the main vocal sort of like advocates for the silly things that I hope are real, right, you know what I mean? Like, if it weren't coming from such toxic individuals, hollow Earth would be really fun. But it's coming from like deeply angry, often racist people,
And then you go like, man, that sucks. A lot of the issue too, is that A lot of the issue I find with it too, is that like, even though science has constantly proved itself wrong on things over and over again, it's still like, I think it's like deeply important to trust the current science because if you don't do that, you get like the way that Americans are spinning out now where they don't believe in anything.
It's like, as much as I have that want to be like, oh maybe there's crazy shit, it's like you at least got to believe the people who know more than you. At this point, bro, we need a sincere system of beliefs, right, Like everybody needs that, regardless of if it's religion, if it's science, whatever it is. And we're as a society moving further and further from sincere
belief in religion. Like culturally, I think it is becoming less and less of a sincere belief and more of like bad actors owning religion for the sake of like proving whatever points they have for themselves. And so like if you're gonna deny God and you're gonna deny science, then suddenly you're just making up whatever you want. And that's that's dangerous. You know what.
That's the perfect example of what you described. Was you ever seen a Book of Eli. Of course, it's just like where it's like he knew by getting that Bible, this one word could change the thoughts of everybody, but it.
Was the wrong person trying to perfect example. That movie did kind of piss me off, say more. I was sort of mad when it was the Bible? Did you what did you want it to be a gun? Some kind of a new gun they didn't have, because it was just like, because I felt like it was the Bible, then were just getting into the same trap that we were in before. That's what it made me feel like. It made me feel like it was going to be
history repeating it till I felt something similar. I wanted it to be the Bible, but I wanted it to be a special Bible that had like a fucking like how do we blot out the sun? Like the Catholic one, Like it has like an extra book in it that actually resolves their problems today kind of thing, as opposed to it just being like John Luke the Rest.
But so inspiring though it was post apocalyptic, it's nothing else for you to read. You don't have anything else for you to read, and this is these are the stories.
I mean, I honestly think for me to it, if I survived the apocalypse the first twenty years, I'm probably just running off for movies that I've seen so many times.
I just like at nighttime, I just play like Wedding Crashers or Friday in my Oh you.
Got Chapstick, that's all you got? You got cat Chapstick? He you got a CD player? Yeah, that's all.
Yeah. In the Bible, yeah, so you know. But but even if I had to pick a book, but I'm not picking the Bible.
What book would you have for the rest of your what wrinkle on time?
Remember that? Oh that is? Oh you know what I would want for the rest of my life? Yeah? Watchmen? M graphic No, give me, give me Watchmen. It's it's graphic novels. So I get to look at a bunch of stuff and I can pick apart the animal, you know what I mean, the drawings and ship and like small details. I'll do that forever, and it feels like, certainly in an apocalypse, it's it's applicable, it's gonna address some current issues. That's a really good Yeah, that's a
really good pick. I don't have one. That's okay. Yeah, I don't have one. That's all right? Would you beicking? Oh damn? Forty eight laws of power? Just come on, there's no narrative version.
What were these two extra laws?
That's what worthy hang upside down? Doctor Drake production, doctor to be a doctor dre product. I can see I'm going with that. Yeah, okay, let's talk about bigfoot a little bit, or at least what I've come to find it with Bigfoot.
And I hope.
Given your you you see and your knowledge, but also your firm sort of faith. Yes, I would. I would venture to call this faith that you have in the existence of Bigfoot. I'm very excited to hear how you feel about this information. Okay, So the first appearance of Bigfoot in popular culture is traced back to nineteen fifty eight. Nineteen fifty eight is the original Bigfoot. They found a large footprint in the hills of Bluff Creek, California, that
was sixteen inches long. That's your foot that is seen.
Is not crazy, that's me.
That's pretty close to you, very close. That ain't that crazy. That's not that crazy. This man could have just been homeless. Yeah, that might have been Montel Jordan.
Senor Montel Jordan's senior Thursday singing about singing about Thursdays because it gives us something to look forward too, Ladies free other day.
Oh it's not sixteen inches? Is not that crazy. It was later proven to be an absolute hoax. It was done by a man named Ray Wallace, who admitted on his deathbed to making lots of fake tracks throughout the fifties and sixties using large carved wooden feet. He basically car whittled some big ass feet and then, like you said, would spend his afternoons laying fucking footprints in random places.
And he was doing it for the love of the game.
He didn't even know Internet didn't even exist. Yeah, he probably was just like, wouldn't it be funny if somebody saw and thought it was a monster? I think the government told him to say that. Oh, the government told him. I think I think we're wearing hats on hats and we need to focus on one. We got to focus on One's.
Focused on one. Okay, So that is a very good point. Hey, lock in me, you know, come on, more facts.
Let's see. So he does this through the fifties and sixties. Now I'm going to run through a timeline of other big Bigfoot events in other places. It's to nineteen sixty seven is the famous, most famous footage of Bigfoot always walking away one, the one where he's like walking away and then he looks back and yeah, here's a little wink to the camera. I love that. That's the most
famous one. We're all familiar with that footage that comes from these dudes, Roger Rogers and Hammerson Rogers and Hammerson, Roger Patterson and Bob Gimblin. It was also found in buff Bluff Creek, California. It was shot on sixteen millimeter. It's the most famous footage of Bigfoot, and it's this very casual stroll. Now, what they claim is the fact that that footage has not been replicated is proof that
this is in fact real footage of the Bigfoot. Like it hasn't been actively refuted, and they are like proven totally wrong, right, and also they haven't been able to like hoaxers haven't done the same thing in the at the same clip. Are people like are people looking at it's like the zaprut of film? Like, are people like analyzing it? Though? Like that they claim that they are being analyzed like that.
Also that to me, even though I like, I like the existence of Bigfoot, that that video doesn't sell me because it's just like practical effects.
You could just say practical effects were very good practical effects. And also it's nineteen sixty seven and cameras suck. Yeah, and in a way that like, you want to prove to me that Bigfoot, that Bigfoot is is real? Do that shit? Find it in two thousand two could just been a Harry Ude. It could have been an angle, because you gotta stop saying that I was last was
You're right, You're right, you're being crazy. Now in two thousand, a team of prominent bigfoot investigators, these might be your people bigfoot, the big Foot Field Research Organization went on an excursion in Mount Adams in Washington State and found what they claimed to be a large mammals left forearm, hip, thigh and heel imprint in some mud. Basically bigfoot.
Down, Yeah, watching the game, watching the game.
Yeah, a bird and a squirrel were fighting, and you just you're taking it all in. Yeah, But they found this this big like print and they claim that that is the first This is two thousand the first print of bigfoot ever discovered like his torso okay, just his feet. Okay again, different place, different feels like just could be a big dude. And maybe Bigfoot is just a big dude. Maybe Bigfoot is just a big dude. Maybe we all got a little big Foot in us. That's crazy.
I don't want to I don't want to admit to that. We were friends having fun. I gotta check it, my girl, I still love me.
Right now, I no longer believe it. Tell me some ship to say on her.
Baby, baby, remember that thing, the fucking bomb baby now. Two thousand and six, they found textures in a plaster
of big Foot Bigfoot's footprint basically like found it. The textures which they revealed or claimed to be fingerprints, which experts are claiming hoaxers could never actually come up with that, Like a hoaxer would would obviously whittle the wood, but they wouldn't have the insight to make literal like fingerprint indentations inside of the foot, which would then sell it, they claim, sells it more so.
Like actual like Okay, we got the ridges and the lines and all, we actually got a footprint here right right right.
You're saying it's deeply detailed in a way that that the average whittler would not tend to make. So Bigfoot is in the system.
Oh, no, Bigfoot is in the system. Scary.
As soon as the government's back up and running, they're gonna get that. They're gonna get them. They're waiting on it to restarts start back up. That's what our boy Trump been working all.
This whole time.
I'm sorry. And they make Bigfoot crack related, that would be honestly, they're.
Gonna say, they're gonna say it's not the CIA, it's Bigfoot who dropped off cracking a hood.
Oh, they start just tying.
I was going to a completely different direction. I thought you were gonna say that. They they'll they'll say that Bigfoot is just a big ass black person and they'll make us animals again. And maybe that's why I'm so afraid of the Missing Link, because it's like you're gonna make him black.
That's why I would like to believe he's from the hollow Earth instead of the Missing wause it gives us something else apart from us.
There's no way they find a big Bigfoot and they go, that's a white guy.
You don't think they know It's interesting you don't think that white people think Bigfoot is more of a white especially.
I feel like like when you see like Harry and the Henderson's or like when they like.
You're talking about commercial Chewbaca, you know what I mean, you talk about like it's ok, that's the Chewbacca you could sell, but you can't sell him.
They don't even make Batman. That's true. And I think their fantasy of Bigfoot is white. But I think when they finally see a big Foot and shoot it in the head, that's a black guy. Yeah, because they're gonna shoot it. Yeah, Yeah, they're gonna They're not gonna it's gonna no it's gonna have who catches it. It's gonna have one weird reaction, bro, and they are going to shoot it. It's gonna make a weird noise. It's gonna fucking it's gonna go and steam is gonna come out
and they're gonna fuck they gonna light it up. That's why they got them goods like these what are guns?
That's why I got the Book of you like, read the Bible, read big butt. The Bible is crazy, damn. Okay, I don't know.
Okay, more more information because This is where I think it's gonna up to this point, you're hearing things that I think approve of your theory, or at least the possibility of it. In two thousand seven, there's a History Channel show called Monster Quest where they search for Bigfoot. It happens for four years, they do not find a big foot. In two thousand and eight, two dudes Matthew Witten and Rick Dyer claimed to have found a dead body of a bigfoot, which they kept in a large freezer.
A number of top scientists got involved in the study seeking evidence, and it later is revealed as you say, it was thinking murder. It's just a hoax. They just they just faked a bigfoot. And I'll, in fact show you pictures of this supposed bigfoot. We gotta get a screen, we gotta get a screen. It's actually deeply embarrassing to hold these tiny photos up to you. That's the face right there, and that's the body sort of folded over. But but that is that they said, not a bigfoot.
That's just I know they were gonna get because that's scary, because now I'm thinking, y'all, this is somebody y'all murdered. How happy it was yeah, me too, that's exactly what I thought. That's like murder somebody. And then told people day yeah, and then the one guy was like, I got it, Yeah, I got it. Your sister works at a hair salon, right, like you say, six guys, he was in the four smoking.
Weed came out.
Bro. Yeah. They shot angry.
Wow.
They're like, look, it looks like a monkey to me. Yeah. No, I think there's some nasty ship origins to this this body, but that is not a bigfoot. There is also in two thousand and six, uh two people claim to have bumped into a bigfoot and get separate footage. This footage is referred to as the Sonoma Bigfoot foot video California, Sonoma, California. They claim to have found another bigfoot and that's what this footage is. He liked California. And it's only ten
seconds long. It is not very long, but they get that on the razor phone. Yeah six yeah, I'm not chase you know what they said, Oh there he is. I don't that's him right there on the stroll. Like I got to get through the fun I'm going they somebody to be for sure.
No, no, no, no, no no.
I'll take pictures, but not now. That was crazy Woodchuck Dallas, I gotta go.
I don't believe that because it was such a crazy gait.
It's like, it's the way.
That was a weird wow. He looked like he going to pick up money. I'm going to pick up It looks like you.
Put somebody in a costume and said, hey, walk like big Foot real quick. That's my angry one.
Yeah.
He was trying to find Adam Sandler and uncut gems. It looks like Adam Sandler.
Was in there.
Here's the thing.
You're never going to see him because you know what they said about Bigfoot. He is elusive and shy.
Okay, like every animal. Right, we still catch Frank Ocean. No, not often, not all. They caught that again Japan. But you've seen that foot. It's just very fast.
It's dark.
Keep moving.
To go.
Literally. I was like, is this is this nighttime? Bro? Yeah? No, I I look, man, there's this list continues of just like potential, potential, but frankly all of it becoming quickly denied. There are In twenty twelve, a Scientists Texas veterinarian researcher announced that she had the results of years of investigation that proved that Bigfoot was real. Her science was later completely refuted.
Where's from Texas, Texas? That's right, science capital. You don't mess with them. Yeah, she got God. She said all these theories is right.
And then some people finally got their guns. Similarly, twenty twelve, two vehicles in rural Montana hit and killed what apparently was a Bigfoot on Highway ninety three that's later proven not to be true. In two thousand, a lot of this murder, it's just people being like, Okay, here's what we say. I thought he was big for it is
crazy for Burda in the forest. In twenty twenty three, two years after being found guilty of professional misconduct, a person named Melba Ketchum launches a crowdfunding effort for a cryptid genome project, which is meant to like unlock the truth about Bigfoot. She collects twenty five thousand dollars from donors to not any feel no, no credible and even ever, that's that's an amount of money you run off with. Yeah, two years worth of apartment cryptos. I'm gonna try to know.
And in twenty twenty three, Peter Burn the last of the so called Four Horsemen who are a part of the main sort of Bigfoot research community. He died in sadly never having seen or gotten any evidence of his his theory. Here's the thing. If we have bigfoot, yep, doesn't that throw off everything?
Like if they actually know, you mean, like like the alien Yeah, you know what I mean, Like they know, but they're not gonna.
This is the exact reason why they won't say Jesus, because if you find out Jesus, this is the exact reason.
Yeah, there no other reason reason, But it would it would just make you.
I think it would throw the world into anarchy to believe that there's something else out there other than us. It would scare us too much. It would throw off tourism. I agree with that, you know what I mean.
I also I also agree with the I also have the idea that like, if it is real and it's known, it's in their best interests not let us know.
Probably it's not a lot of them.
Yeah, yeah, agree, it's probably just like it's probably Like I've always kind of felt like it's maybe like northwestern United North America situation, or like up in Canada, like up the Pacific Coast. Yeah, but like I think it's maybe it's probably just like a population that's probably been dwindling anyway. Like, I think it's just maybe not a lot.
I think it's it's because if there's twelve, why they got to tell us about it. I also think it's probably one of those things closer to like those you told me about this, those no, you and Mandel taught me about this, about those blue people in like follow in Kentucky, Kentucky. Yeah, well, it's just like a curse generate, like fucking blood line of like weird looking people. I don't think it has to be a big like a missing link or some exotic creature. I think it could
just be a fun Yeah, just a individual in the blood. Yeah. I think we we really think we know what people are and what we can do, and we haven't really lived outside. Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean is different. Yeah, it's maybe the weirdest thing. No, it was another one we want.
Yeah.
Okay, man, if you would have just started this pot off nice maybe the.
Fact that had you rolled it out correctly, I would have caught it.
Stevie wonder that's not enough. It's pretty fund.
Passes all the time. We're always passing to each other the one.
Time waye lebron Man usually usually on in Cleveland. No, this is this is your way today.
Okay, okay, okay, this sucks. Oh my soundboards not working, not at all. No, look at a dog. He's as black as can be.
I was the one I want. We need to take one more break and then and then we're going to come back and do a voicemail together. Yeah. We did not wrap this up at all. But I had a great time. I actually had a really good time. Yeah, big Foot is real, you guys to believe, so it's nice. No, we're going to do a voicemail. I know. No, I'm just saying that the big foot part, the big football. Yeah, we covered a lot of other really important stuff. Let's
wrap it up quick. You're wrong, brother, but good god, you're enjoying yourself and this was important. Who are we the yuck? You're young if you are first crazy as a soup sandwich. I thought I had. The man's a fool. But what a fun time. And we'll be back with more, hermit rice more. My mama told me.
He not only do I won't you, but I need that you understand. I need that, and I suck on your ass like a goddamn neck bone. Oh mother fucking pitch, but I need that.
I won't that neck bone connected to the headbone.
We're back, all right, We're gonna do a voicemail. We have a lot of fun voicemails. We don't listen to them, so we don't know. So this is first for everybody. Oh yeah, that's exciting. Anything could happen. This feels like it could be a fun one for everybody to participate in. Okay, here we go. Sometimes they're a nightmare. This one seems it seems goody.
What's up? It's Jeffery from Decatur, Georgia. I ain't got no nasty ship, but so I got a conspiracy. I want to run by y'all because everybody know Colin Kaepernick. You know he got railroaded out of the league.
Yeah, nice, try ice cube.
Sound like he's that yet yet? Is Jeffrey from Decatur? Right? Man? Like this accent is not matching up. He's a good life. Here we go.
But the thing that's fishy about it to me is, you know, niggas been sitting down during the happening forever That ain't no big deal. All of a sudden, his white dude, Nate Boyer for former NFL long snapper, he was in the army and shits gonna come out and tell him kneeling is more respectful. When he started kneeling, that's when Kaepernick started getting all the pushback and the
blowback and ship. But then you look up and it's like Nate Boyer's on first take, Nate Boyer is rubbing his hands through Stage Steal's hair on ESPN Sports Center. I feel like, on the low, Nate Boyer kind of set cap up like I'm helping you, but I'm not really helping you. I'm helping myself. How did motherfucker get on TV? From from telling Kaepernick to Neil and k Neil and was the thing that fucking pissed everybody off. Nobody cared when Camp was just sitting on the bench.
But once he started kneeling quote unquote.
A while, that's his mama being like, you're not talking about that. You can't keep hey if you keep talking about that. I was trying to see where he was going with that for a long time.
That's a common problem. I was like, I was like he ain't done. By the way, he's got a six second I don't know whatever'kay no, I I think as an idea that is valid. You don't want to think it was maybe as sinister as that is, Like you imagine maybe he told him he said that, and then when he saw the way it was going, he was like, all right, let me But do you think it was like I don't think that. We've talked about this a
lot on the podcast. I don't believe white people to be the evil masterminds that we sometimes build them up to be. I think that they are sick and advantageous in their in their like system that already is built for them to succeed, and so like to your point, I think he saw Kaepernick taking in l and was like, well, shit, I can make a hero story out of my thing, Like like whatever this is, I can validate me, even
if that doesn't validate him. I don't think he had to be like, first, I'll make him kneel.
Do I think that there was like an opportunistic bent to this whole thing. Yeah, I'm with you, I'm with you. I just don't think it was like I don't think he saw the vision of it.
No. I mean, clear as day, it's the NFL that's a plantation. That guy's white. This guy's not white. Always you're going to be able to do what you would like to do you're not. Yeah. And also I think, if I'm looking at the optics, he told him to kneel, and he I think he was like a former military guy. And so like, if I'm the NFL and I don't want to claim racism, like that's part of their thing is they don't want to say they're racist, then I'm gonna be like, no, he told them, and we respect
that they had a positive relationship. Was a good white idea. It was the way he did it. Yeah, that really fucked the whole thing. He could have kneeled the way we would kneel, and we would have kneel.
We would have kneeled a lot better more. We wouldn't kneeled with a half fro.
That's it.
Didn't just look just because it's a black man. It looks disrespectful to the nation, you know what I mean, which in turn is like so many people do different things during the national anthem, you know what I mean?
That's smart. Yeah, I sit there and I get uncomfortable, like a basketball game is like a tough feeling.
Sometimes I've sat in the middle where I was like, what was that? It was the last I think it was the last time I went to a Nuggets game. They started and I was It's like I was standing and my homie wasn't standing. My homie his wife weren't standing.
You sat that down. I was standing, and I was looking around, and I was really thinking about it, and I was like, you know what, fuck this? I sat down in the middle. Oh, that's crazy.
Yeah, because think about it. Right, when we hear like the Canadian national anthem, do we pay as much respect to it?
I bet they do. I like you they do, but not everybody.
You know what I'm saying in a sense of like we get so called up and prestigious on our own thing where it's like you don't even respect other people cultures.
Like yeah, I'm saying, I'm not standing for nothing. Y'all got going on? Do you know what I mean? Like in the grand scheme of things, nothing that that has and will continue to happen is something to me worth like putting my fucking hand over my heart. None of that ship Like we are where we are. I'm happy with the life that I have, but I'm not at I'm not in service of whatever this thing is. You don't need to be. I pay my taxes. Yeah, yeah, exactly, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I do everything you ask me. Cars there you go that you need. You also.
That what you would be doing if you y Okay, it's purging all day.
Yeah, it was a big foot. It was a big I think we found our ending. This is great, man.
You had a great time.
You tell the people where they can find you. You got going on.
I am on tour with Aaron Branch right now. We are on a Dysfunctional Friends tour. I think we have a couple of dates left. We are in Dallas, we are at the New York Comedy Festival. We are in Tacoma and Spokane soon as well. But yeah, if you look me up herman Rice Rice with a W W r CE, you can find me everywhere. I really enjoyed myself.
Thank you guys. This is fun man. What you got cool? Got joke City's having on Instagram? That's it? Follow Dave, come see me on tour. I'm at Oh yeah, I'm continuing to be on tour. We probably in November at this point, So at November sixteenth, I'm in I'm at the Improv in Washington, d C. I'm gonna be at Cap City on November nineteenth, in Austin, Texas. November twenty
through the twenty second, I'll be in Phoenix, Arizona. And then in December, I'm hitting Wilmington, North Carolina, Cleveland, Brooklyn, East Providence, Detroit, Grant Rapids. Then I just added Chicago, Chicago. I'm coming to you, bitch. You know, I miss you,
you normal, miss you girl. It's the fucking best. And if you want to follow us, follow us at My Mama Told Me on all social pod Maybe I don't know what it is, but follow us on all the social media platforms and like, subscribe, rate, review, send us emails, voicemails, all the shit My Mama pod at gmail dot com. Eight four for little moms. If you want to call, listen to some DiAngelo by bitch, give him a little summing. Go ahead. It down just two hanks and two hanks
and singing. I Saw Home. My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts. Greeted and hosted by Langston Krektin co hosted by David Bori.
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hansni and Olivia Akilon.
Co produced by Bee Wayne.
Edited and engineered by Justin.
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