Motherfucking many year soul, motherfucking many years sold. Yep, yep, yep, there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another spectacular mini episode of My Mama's Told Me, the podcast where we died deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove the theories that you the listeners have at home. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know why I keep doing this, this sort of midnight whisper sort of That's right, ladies
and gentlemen, just sexy. Let's get sexy with our conspiracy theories. Let's fun while while the soft whispers of Lee Harvey Oswald lay in the background. I don't know what why would funk with Lee R. V. Oswald talking? It's probably crazy talk. Who knows, Maybe he's an innocent man. I'm sure there's some some white devil out there who wants me to believe that Lee Harvey Oswald didn't absolutely nothing wrong. And you know what, whitey can't trick me, can't trick me.
He was wrong by being a white man in America. So even if he didn't kill JFKA or who are it's Jakay. I'm pretty sure even if he didn't kill JFK, I blame him. I blame him for a lot of other things that he's done. I'm your host, Lengthening Kerman. It's a long way to go to get me to
introduce myself. I guess either way, I'm excited to be here because, as always I'm coming at you not with my own conspiracy theories, not with the conspiracy theories of my friends, but the conspiracy theories of absolute strangers who for some reason continue to invest in the stupid ship that I'm putting out in the world. Now, today's conspiracy theory is a unique one because this coming. Usually when people send me ship, it requires me to do a
fair amount of research. I have to go digging into a pile of Google searches to make sense of this whole thing. I have to be inquisitive and and and curious in a way that takes a little bit out of your boy, if I'm being honest, exapts my energy a little bit. But that said, today's conspiracy theory comes from a person who chose to remain anonymous coward, fucking coward,
but they chose to remain anonymous. But they sent me a message where they had done quite a bit of the research on their own, you know, where they had already taken care of a lot of the work. Now that doesn't mean it's legitimate, but it does mean they did a bunch of work. And so I'm gonna read you their message and then we'll jump into some of the research that they've assembled for me to unpack with you all, and and we'll talk about it. We'll see
how this goes. So this person, this anonymous coward, coward said dear light skin links and not how I'm commonly referred to, nor is that my preference. But here we are dear light skin links and alternatively lengths and hughes mixed misspelled hughes, but still hughes is what they were attempting. I am writing with a conspiracy. I know your butter scotch ass hasn't heard of because I made it up.
That's right, I'm the mama. I like that. I'm here to tell you that the COVID nineteen virus was not created by a government or by Chinese man eating a beat, but by two corporations looking to increase their profits. Amazon invisor. Oh, check with legal if you can use company names. Well, you probably should have mentioned that before you listed the names. As I re read the email, don't want to black men going to jail for libel weds too late, because
now they're they're knocking at my door, anonymous coward. They're kicking down my door to send me to jail for saying Amazon and or viser. Oh no, I'm gonna attach a paper, he says, or she who knows what this person is. I'm going to attach a paper I wrote on Amazon's expansion. Only read the Amazon Behemoth porchun because it has all of the sources you need on Amazon's growth in the midst of the pandemic. You'll have to do your own research on fser unless you want to
give me a producer credit. I do not, in which case I will demand five percent of your sponsorship earnings. Give me the coriander from your Hello Fresh Box nigger. Look, man, I hate I hate that you guys want to be so funny in your goddamn emails. Just tell me the ship that's interesting, you pieces? God damn it, all right, one interesting fact, Oh, here he goes, that's the interesting part.
One interesting fact to add to the Amazon notes. While it is the largest e retailer in the US, it is the second largest in the world, behind the Chinese company Ali Baba blaming Covid on China to deflect question mark question mark question mark, great strategy, You better exacerbate those geopolitical tensions. I like that I can talk more at length about why I think a company would want to start a global pandemic. But it's late here and I'm tired. I hope you enjoyed this email to light skinned,
brown skin and dark skinned solidarity anonymous coward. Oh and they also said, and don't you dare use my real name or my fake name. Don't need the FEDS on my case like whiteness on a biracial man's conscience. Okay, bye, bitch. Is the sign off this that that's what this person wrote to me. Now, the aforementioned study, the the case study that this person assembled is not a small assemblage.
It's actually a fifty four page document that they sent my way, ten thousand words that they sent to me expecting, I guess, for me to to read a small portion of it. Certainly I wasn't planning on reading the whole thing. I'll be honest, I don't care for reading at all, which is why I'm so bad at it. But at the core of their argument, and this is where they tell me to go to the Amazon Behemoth section, which I did read. I read the entire Amazon Beheman section,
and afterwards I felt very proud of myself. I sat back and I said, you did it, big man. You're big, and you're strong, and and you know nobody can tell you otherwise. But the core of the argument that this person is making is that Amazon grew exponentially during the pandemic, both Amazon, the the corporation, as well as Amazon's chief face. I guess that now he is no longer sort of like the the the main guy, but at the time
was the main guy, which is Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos basically doubled his billions in the pandemic because of the sales from Amazon. Now, one of the things that that I think I immediate lea latched onto and hearing this conspiracy theory because it is an interesting one. There's something interesting in the suggestion that corporations might intentionally introduce a
type of problem. Let's let's let's be careful with our words, they might introduce a type of problem into the world that only their corporation could solve and or benefit from. That's an interesting conversation. Where it starts to fall a little short for me, or where the the connection isn't quite landing in my mind, is that there's not a lot of evidence of the actual of Amazon cooking up viruses. There is a fair amount of evidence of Amazon benefiting
from the virus. And I think it's one of those things that that we we as people might do better if we finally reach a point where we acknowledge that a lot, a lot, a lot of the people who are in power are very very dumb. They're not smart people. And I think for years and this is what the Illuminati suggests. This is what sort of like that deep state, all the bullshit trigger words that people have about all
of these things. It suggests that there there's like these masterminds sitting behind these giant tables coming up with with beautiful conspiracy theories that are almost like like three D chess games that played out with with poor people. And the reality is it's a bunch of dumb fucks. Nobody's smarter than George W. Bush. You know what I mean,
nobody's nobody's a brilliant person. But when introduced to the opportunity to take advantage of poor people, to make money off of those who are most vulnerable susceptible, God damn it, do they lean in If there's an injured deer walking on the side of the road, You goddamn right there, gonna beat it with the back of their gun and put it in their truck and hang that motherfucker on the wall. Do you know what I mean? That that's their thing. They love to see the weakest of us struggling,
and then they take advantage of it. More so so I I say all of this to say, do I personally believe that these corporations have cooked up a magical poison to put out in the atmosphere and kill off all of our people? Probably? Not. Probably, I don't think Jeff Bezos is that savvy. He hasn't even learned to
fix his eye, folks. His eyes still fucked up, and he has the most money, literally the most money any human being has ever had in the history of this planet, and he still cannot get his eye working the way that regular eyes are meant to work. You're telling me
this motherfucker thought of COVID. I don't think so. I think what he did think of is the fact that a bunch of people were at home and stranded and without communication and without resources, and his company, which he had already sort of like laid out and had working perfectly, was in a great position to take advantage of that. Jeff Bezos, he's a monster. Let's not not even for a second do I want to suggest that he's not
a monster. I just don't know if he's as intelligent as some of the monstrosity that we sometimes attached to these these figures. There aren't that many criminal masterminds. A lot of these people are just sort of like, yeah, they're limping, they're limping along and just taking advantage of our us in our weakest form. Yeah, I don't know. This didn't I didn't really get into any of his research.
He has so much, so much detailed reass he or she has so much detailed research here about the the thirties seven point six to percent increase that Amazon saw in sales over over the course of end and the the ways in which Jeff Bezos hit it all the way into the two hundred and twenty billion dollar point, like he's he's a he's a two hundred billionaire, and all of this ship is very valuable information, but it doesn't really introduce very much connective tissue to accuse this
man of cooking up COVID. That said, I think he's cooked up a lot of fucked up things that are maybe worse than COVID. I think there's an argument to say that the way that uh that people are misusing and misusing is a probably a weighted word here. The way people are taking advantage of capitalism at this point might be worse than than whatever could have happened with COVID. Capitalisms kill way more people than a fucking pandemic did, and will continue to kill a lot more people afterwards.
But that's neither here nor there. I don't know. This didn't end up being as fun of an episode as I imagined, and I apologize to this anonymous coward for not giving more length to their to their very thought out research, although probably extremely dangerous research if it were ever to be published in a in a peer reviewed space. I don't know. I can't imagine that Jeff Bezos is
being chill about people accusing him of creating COVID. Either way, if you want to accuse a billionaire of creating a uh A world ending virus, then please send your conspiracy theories to my Mama pod at gmail dot com. I would love to hear from you, and as always, subscribe to the podcast. Come on, say something nice, say something mean. I just need more of you to say something, say something. I'm giving up on you. It's that that classic song that that I don't know which which white sung it,
but but I liked it. I secretly liked it quite a bit. And maybe that means I'm part of the problem, you know. Maybe that means I've got to do some work on myself. Anyway, that's it, Okay, bye, bitch. Motherfucking miny years, so many years, so motherfucking mini EPs, so motherfucking Mini years, so many episode motherfucking Mini ever so