All Famous Black People Know Each Other (with Jay Jurden)

A black man who came into some money. I know you have some hats. Yeah, I know you have some hat.

I'm not even had, guy, I got some. Yeah, ask me not to wear a bomber or some sneakers during my special. I'm a black man who came with some money. So I got a bunch of my husband. He would take so many times in and out of the cart in her park, all the time. You wake up there in the car. I remember doing this, David.

You talked about this, David, David, David, David, you're a singan.

Chips in yours racist money turning stuff.

I can't tell me.

Last night I was inside of you last night, making luck to you. I saw the sun, the moon, the mountains and the rivers. I saw heaven when I made sweet love to you. Welcome little mamas and gentiles alike to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

God Damn, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

And we finally we don't actually we don't. We're not proving anything. This isn't that kind of podcast.

If you came here for proof, Bloyd, do I got bad news.

This is so one thing I'm fresh out of y'all.

Keep you know what.

They keep asking for proof of the things that we're saying, as if every time.

We don't tell them ahead of time. Hey, we don't have proof of the things we're saying.

I mean, I think the nerds have been coming at our head for the last couple of weeks. They're really mad at us, and we're feeling that. And what I have to say you nerds is sorry, my bad bird, I didn't. I only see the matrix want to honey, I'll be honest.

My only Transformers is that is him running with with Shilah buff back when he was a white child. I have no other framing for it. I was just saying stuff. I like the ones with their animals, So I didn't even that's what I like. I remember a raptor in there and it was cool, but I couldn't tell you his name.

I like it, Yeah, I like you used to have it before school. You can jump in behind these Warsicionado, you're talking about air Raiser. That was a girl. She fell in love with the white tiger. They died together, had a baby, which was this like no with Timberwolf it's actually she fell in love with the wolf and then they had like a combined form. It was like the wolf with wings. Yeah, I hate that.

I was talking and thank thank you for pointing that out. The Powers that Be I was talking about the one that was a trader to the DECEPTICONO.

Yeah. Was he like joined the Maximals predics and the maxim the animal ProTem Yeah, it was. You know a previous episode, Langton did diagnose me with a little bit of tears. I'm tissed up, you know, and I stand on it and he's not wrong me me saying me correcting him on Maximals and Predacons. Yeah, you ever you have a rich Nerd memory. Yeah, yeah, that has to be diagnosed. That came to me early. My husband, He's like anniversary. I was like, it's coming July. Do you

Was a Trana source wrecks. It feels like a terrible move.

In hindsight, he got the Veneers. That's why you didn't know he does. Got Barney got the leaks. It's like Barney got the leak. Yeah, he got the consequences in the back like Michael hey brother at this ain't the time of the Blade many I Love You, You Love.

Me was the only good teeth of that show Baby Bob had. Those were bad baby.

I didn't think baby baby.

Because they were well there they were baby was a baby.

Yeah, but I think they were herbivores.

They were baby baby, baby, baby baby baby baby by They were right right.

You didn't feel like I like the idea.

You didn't feel like they were a horror dinosaurs.

And was what wait, I thought you meant younger? You thought baby bo what you thought baby would be affected by the snap benefits being cut? Yeah?

Did you guys not feel that way?

No, But now I get why you say that. It makes a lot of sense. She didn't have no clothes on.

She didn't have clothes on. She was she was unwatched. She was too old to be talking like that, that's true. She she was like older than a baby, but she was talking like a baby, which makes me.

Feel like And we called bjbj her brother. And they had different daddies because they were different from colors. They weren't even the same species. Ye Ye didn't like how you pointed at me, Really don't. I still really don't love the associations BJ a third tier dinosaur. It was dinosaurs.

I'm not particularly cool on what's happening here, but I do respect.

Yeah, I think baby Bob was probably going through some stuff at home. She was never invited there.

Yeah.

She always just showed up and they'd be like, oh, ship, baby Bob, know what it is. You know the house that always has kids in it? That was the house. Yeah, because those all the kids that were with Barney. He was telling to clean up. So Barney was running daycare center. Baby boy, she had to be there because you know, her mama was picking up all the time. He would sometimes come because he's an older brother. We gotta walk home, honey. Yeah, is that dinner? That's dinner?

Yeah, because home is hard.

It's hard.

A bunch of others Barney, Yeah, he's got a bunch of like, he's got a bunch of velociraptors trying to make him go bodies.

To teach you about a gang. Yeah, he goes over there testing the walls. Clever girl that's really sad. Yeah, it's it's.

A tragic story when you unpack most of these these programs.

Yeah, I always because like any kids program, I always am like that dirty kids going through it.

Oh, okay, to right, that's not good. No, that's a sad. One problem with the Peanuts. It was interesting that even though they had a dirty child, you still were like, well, I'm checking on Franklin. Everything okay with Franklin him, he's on the side of the table by himself. He chose to sit next to pig Pin rather than sit next to Franklin. Well on the other side of the table.

Well, you know, nobody talks about they bust Franklin.

In whoa Okay, I thought you camp talk.

They call it it's integration. Charlie Brown, Shorty.

Get loose football.

She changes the sun on therapy, say no if you need help about some of the changes that are happening around here.

But yeah, yeah, no, Lucy does just become a Tim Dillons podcaster. Oh yeah, Lucy.

Lucy makes you feel like it's the end of the world. Yeah yeah, the way she like the way in the way the same way that he makes me feel that way, like Lucy just like she flies. No, there's nothing. Yeah, I mean I see that she just keeps taking that football. Yeah, like that's nuts.

She takes the football and I think, what, what really is the most football kicker?

Like that?

And she she also calls him blockhead.

She calls him blockhead. But then she spends the entire show pretending as if she is the moral compass for the group. Yea, like her whole ship is being like, I'm clearly the best leader here.

And yeah, why which is where we're right now? We were talking about she just saying ship that's trumpet, Lucy.

Oh my god? Is the therapist? So imagine if your therapist behaved that way? Why are you getting bullied by your therapist with your therapyr cope with five cents? Though? Yeah, but you gotta scale that. It was the seventies. He was a child. He couldn't even understand his parents, much less know money. Yeah all the time?

Am I crazy for thinking this was his dad?

Of Barbara? Why do I think that if Charlie Brown's dad was a barber, that's that was the most depressive because he was so that's fucked up.

Maybe I'm putting on.

The Charlie Brown's barber just spreading nasty conspiracies. Brown Barber just would be like, I'm a move these three.

I mean, Charlie would have really it would have been good if he had had Beijing or enhancements.

That's a Charlie brown En hands Smith's. He definitely needed something. Yeah, I okay. When I was in Tuscaloosa, that's when the enhancements like dropped around around, like twenty thirteen, twenty twelve enhancements, because that's when they were doing it without asking you. They believe I'm gonna just and you go, whoa, what's that? Oh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just yeah, I'm gonna give you that. They start pulling that card out and you're like, hold on, play boy, wait a minute.

Have you ever seen when they have the visor and the gun, it's like the whole visor and then they airbrush.

That's the one that hurts my feelings the most. Yeah, that one is when they're like, bro, I'm gonna need a whole system to fix what they say, Yeah at that point.

Get the roller y Yeah.

Well it it's like something I'd like to do with home away from other people.

Yeah, I don't want you to show everybody, but every I mean everyone is like I mean, everyone is doing them now right.

I'm still I'm still all natural.

I'm not doing it. But I see so many people that have kind of like they do the enhancements, they do the chalk, they do the outline.

I will say that crazy that on sets they do it and you don't really get a saying yeah, yeah, I.

Mean like they want. That's the one time I've done it.

Maybe feeling they be feeling in my eyebrows? Are you okay?

Yeah?

All right.

I don't like that because they're showing you problems you didn't feel like you had.

I didn't come in thinking about this. I didn't roll up to set and go to crafty thing. Yeah. But now I'm in the make up chair and she goes, you want me to do this? You started already, you did want Yeah. I can't just I can't look inquisitive. You've already snatched half my soul. Go ahead, finish looking like a teen. He isn't making out on public transportation're talking about I read through pencilvan eyebrows.

Yea.

Also people, Yeah, so musical, so musical, guess our guest today. I don't know we we have to intro. Yeah, we have to do an intro.

I guess today we couldn't be more excited he's here. It was a tight squeeze. Yes, this motherfucker's busy, got ship going on.

I got a podcast before this. I'm probably gonna do one afterwards. I had to come through the brother tell about us. Brother, Me and Hamm are gonna get to the bottom of all of it. He keeps saying, y'all, I don't know, but I think the government's bad and it breaks my heart.

Brother, those are just your friends.

Yeah, I know, man, Yeah, sometimes that happens. People hurt you. That man said, who's listen, I'm gonna find out who's killing all these Palestinian children after my dinner with a Vanka, after I get done eating with Jared and Avanka, I'm gonna find out who's been killing these precious brown But I'm.

Gonna have a fine meal. Yeah, and then I'm gonna start doing some independent googling.

Man said I think there's someone behind all this, and then posted the that is crazy man. Our guess today is not crazy. He's not crazy.

I'm a little bit he might be a little crazy. We're excited that he's here. He has a brand new Hulu special available for you now. We could not be more excited. Go watch, yes, ma'am on Hulu. Give it up, Jay Jorden, y'all.

Would not at all. No, but I'm a dog. He's as black as can be.

That's what you asked us to play, right, my dog, my dog because it's black as can be. Yeah, yes, ma'am.

I think it ties in to ma mama told me because when my mama told me something, I said, yes, ma'am, happy to do the pod. I love having wake up every time we're together.

Yeah, I said, thank you for having us.

Work. Yeah, you know what it is is all I had to was that intro, and I had no other plans for today. Well the intro was I love dogs. Okay, good, Yeah, dude, I love I Do you wanna you want to offer some push back? A lot of people they think black folks don't love their dog.

Brothers are filled. I think it's because and this is and you okay, you can attest to this. You talked to me on the telephone. We're willing to talk to them like they're not. I talked to a dog like I talked like a person, maybe even a little word.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got. It's that second sentence that it's not that you talk to your dog. You do talk to her like a person. You just talk to her like a person you don't respect very much at all, a child.

Do you respect people who don't pay bills? Do you respect people who poop in the house?

I do not do that. I'm we're gonna I'm gonna be honest. This is also the unclification of David Boring. But because you you went straight to do you pay bills? Yeah? You got there fast. She's in there.

I'm just saying she's in there.

I think that I think the same thoughts, but when they come out, I do go Wait a second, that does that thought come with a pair of linen pants?

Okay, here's you pay some bills. Here's my issue. I think too now that I'm really if I'm really like putting my brain to it. It is because in being in uncle, Yeah, my love language is acts of service. Yeah, so, bitch, you ever missed a meal? Yeah, maybe maybe I talked to you how I want to hear, Maybe I talk to you. You get sick, you go to the doctor, right right, Okay, yeah, so maybe I talk a little crazy.

I'm there every day. There's a lot of dogs don't go to the bit, you know, where they go outside, they.

Get worms and then they die.

This whole thing feels like the speech from Fences, like you like.

Why, I gotta like you say, I gotta like you prop on your head like I'm just saying, I like dog Troy Max, I'm doing I'm doing the stuff.

Yeah, take her out all this well walked dog, well walked. Yeah. Yeah, everybody season that.

She's freaking out because they're doing the roof. Bitch sitting on my lap. Yeah, I'm trying to send emails whatever. She's on my life, big guys, full grown. I'm just a big dogs, big dog. I think people just like want to be like you hate the dog, and it's like I with.

The doghole, and I will say, to your credit, I've done some nasty propaganda on the podcast, thank you, thank you. I think I have only seen you treat your dog kindly. Come on, you have you have done nothing in my presence that would suggest you are unkind to your dog.

Come on, But the way you speak to her. She can't speak English. Does give me pause. Sometimes she doesn't. It gives him, Okay, it gets him. And now y'all see why I accuse the man of autism.

That was good. I liked it because it got it off of me. And I will say I could say I could speak softer to sometimes I do.

It is crazy sometimes, well do you? I mean? And this is a bigger question. You want him yelling at that dog or young not a baby. I would prefer the dog, for sure. I just don't think we have to be one or the other. Okay, all right, I'm I'm here to inspire as much as parents. I can't talk to the dog the way that white people talk to their dogs. That's fair. I can't do that.

That's fair. I can't be in my house and it's just not It's just not gonna happen. I'm but we're cool, and sometimes I do. Sometimes I talk nice to her too. I'll be like, hey, you're trying to oh.

Put your vest on?

Yeah, clothes, look at Yes, the pitch had sneakers for a minute.

She lives great. Well, yeah you're no, you're doing more than I've ever done. We're walking out.

I'm worried about the concrete being too hot, and I pause, like, I'm taking care this dog.

Bro.

I had a pet pug in Michigan, like ann Arbor, Michigan. I didn't put a coat on her once.

I mean, she doesn't wear the coat, but she got one.

And that was what I realized, is like this is this is so much. I mean, that's gonna get you in trouble. The pug community. I used to have a couple of jokes about pugs, and they go, hey, the jokes funny, but like I'm saying, wild ship the pug, we really like pugs.

If you didn't, they would have died off a long time ago. It's an abomination.

Bio engineer. It didn't do a great job. No, actually they did. Do you know what they were trying to do?

I know was the original play, but but in ancient China they were engineered because the emperor wanted a dog that looked like a monkey.

So we got a level of power there. I could not said the balance. Are you going to give him a little bit tears? Now too?

You said.

Anytime a black man starts off a sentence, well we know what it is. Because China, the emperor we wanted the dog that looks like a monkey. We've all read our punk history, right. I don't want none of you brothers not caught up on God. I'm so damn.

I didn't never realize the emperors carried that kind of power that would corrupt me if I was powerful enough to see make this animal look like this animal.

You know that with multiple breeds of Chinese originated dogs, they had standards that well the I mean it's not some other one, but there are a bunch of dogs that come from China that were like breed standards based on what the emperor wanted. Yeah, I don't want you to think this is like all dogs go to China. This is uh, here's the strength that you're showing. They were strength.

I know that was That's the strongest I've ever been on this podcast. And I'd like to think that's growth. Yeah, he did that, and I sat here and I took it.

You saw it.

I'm an ally it's because I'm going to Asia. Yeah, okay, par Japan, Me and my little brothers going to Japan.

Have you seen that people now are doing this. They're kind of telling Americans on TikTok. They're saying, I know everyone loves Japan, everyone loves Tokyo, everyone loves Future, everyone loves anime, and every every person on TikTok is like yeah. And then people go, you know, Japan, you should do bad stuff, and everyone's like, yeah, we know. Yeah, I'm going though.

Yeah, Japan is really getting the the Creator treatment. Yeah, well said, that's exactly right. Yeah, it's getting that Tyler treatment.

You're like, I don't give a funk. I'm listening to Chromo code.

The Tiler situation. Whenever it kind of was reaching critical mass, there was this weird I don't know. I'm a millennial, so I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember the cockroaches. Did y'all not remember the cockroaches? There were so many babies on the in and they're like, and then he used to do I was like, yeah, yeah, wait a second, I was. I was laughing and enjoying the music then, and is this a deal breaker for everyone? For me, it took me a minute to come around because I remember that.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, man, is he's dope.

He's clearly like a good rapper, But I'm not on I'm not on bird on board with a human yet because I couldn't.

Yeah, because when On Future came out, so it was too young for me.

Yeah, we kids doing crazy shit. Brother loved Odd Future and Lord's Squad, and I had to be like, let me chuck on Mark. Yeah yeah, because it was like bro.

I went to I got free tickets to an Odd Future show in San Francisco, and I remember I went and there was no life at the bar. Yeah, and I was like, oh, this is not for me, this y Yeah, these are for kids.

And then he grew up and I was like, oh that's cool. No, that's my fucking coolest shit and.

Also allowed some space for growth.

It happened.

Everybody grows man. I used to have credit at the liquor store. Look at me now, nice to talk.

Well, what happened is we we got you know who, we got to do that shit for us, and then we never had to worry about it and tell me if y'all disagree. We had Eminem and more specifically, we had all of D twelve, so we got bizarre, We got Obie Trice, We had like fucked up, crazy weird black dudes doing fucked up, crazy weird shit with Eminem, and then we just never had to deal with it. Like we got them and we like listen to them do that shit, and then we were like, oh well actually I'm cool now.

Yeah, And I say, also, if we're talking about this, we're bringing it out there. Yeah, what's in the water in Detroit? Because they started that whole horror core wrap Yeah that was Detroit, right, Yeah, e Seian and all that crazy see that rap music that is scary to listen to.

What's from there? What's going on? I'm not from there? He was just he was just walking up outside from there.

Be careful, yeah, mom, But like it would be like asking a person who never returned to the island, okay with the island?

Yeah, the mango in the water?

Yeah, Like I don't know, it's see some of us believeing pedrogenetics.

I think it was just like it's something in you. You think there's something in the in my core that just understands Detroit movement. Yeah, more than I do.

I will say that Detroit is very weirdly a arts city and it doesn't get a lot of credit as an art city because it's a.

Bummer to visit.

Yeah, like it is legitimately a city with like a strong ass grassroots arts community, and I think that blossoms out into trying a lot of weird shit in their music and in their like culture like they have there. There's this this project that's on the I'm gonna fuck Butcher the name, But there's this arts project on like the west side of Detroit that like, this dude just basically turned his entire block into like a found art exhibit, right because all the houses are abandoned. It's just like

I mean it's also like there are a lot of different types of black Like am I wrong about? There's a lot of black techno that came out of Detroit as well, this where house music was technically born, right, So it's like I get that that it's just a city trying a lot of stuff.

The Heidelberg Project.

Okay, And when you get that, you also get dudes wrapping up about eating stuff.

I think so.

I think if you go visit the Heidelberg Project as a young person and you see a baby with a fucking stick stab through its skull, you go, I think I could rap about whatever I want.

I like that.

I like that.

And now the Detroit sound and the Milwaukee sound is just kind of a a rhythmic, offbeat syncopated, sort of very specific cadence. When growing up there were rappers where you're like that, this is scariest Buck and I don't. I'm not mad that Tyler was kind of that early on. I mean, you know pictures in like white Face. Also at the time I think it's coming back.

It was.

Like, okay, I've been talking to people what I'm saying. I dropped a joke.

I'm sorry.

I dropped a joke about I was starting rob on the internet the other day. Drop.

I dropped a joke about being Leston for Halloween, and YE laughed and I was like, I think this, I think, I think white Face I think we could.

Get in early first, I'm hearing of it.

Well, I was thinking it would be funny if we were each other for Halloween.

Yeah, no, that's not funny for me.

Yeah, that's the problems.

Actually, the problems not funny for me because then because you go into the shades and you got going.

Brother, no thing I can put on. It's a compliment to you. You know what you could do if it would be funny?

If I showed up as you and you were you Okay, that's okay, right, that might get away with it.

Or you say, oh, let's be let's be just Halloween and you just come in a bunch of Denver stuff. You go, look at me. I'm daming. You didn't have no Chicago stuff you wanted to put up? Yeah, no, I thought this was this what I thought thought we were having fun. You know, sei way went to my high school. You could have warned something about that. You would nuggets Jersey.

That's true.

I think you can't. That's bunny, that's comedy of error.

Yeah, I think that would probably be better. But I've just been thinking of me.

But no, no, no, not for you.

There would be Yeah, there's just no world. I get that, do you ever? I also do think, though this guy's diabolical. I think if we let it go and we were just like you'd be Leanston, you be David. I think he might show up in a gorilla cos.

Oh my costume? What ever? You thought for a moment I would lose the competition. That's okay what I'm saying, And this is why we have rules. Said, why do you have a bone through your nose? You came with a spear?

What I just got like a little bit of white face on and like a brighter sir would dragged and knuckles.

Buffalo Bill's Super Bowls champ shirt that you think they shipped over there. That's an all the specific mean thing about African kids. You really dug d oh man, Dad, Now I'm gonna win the competition.

Well, some Halloween, some Halloween will be able to join each other.

I think when this country has righted the ship, when we when we're finally back to what we used to be.

Yeah, yeah, in a while. Now America doesn't say don't make it perfect? Can we get back to eight?

Oh yes, we're pining for black face?

Yeah.

If that was if that was our biggest problem was was white people wearing black vests, I'd be so happy.

So much better. That was so sim Yeah, Megan Kelly, put it back on. Put it back on. You deserve it.

That's so funny because today my homie d M me and it was like, uh, there's a video of some white girl doing blackface for Halloween.

Yeah, and he was like anybody, he were like this, I ain't even know he's the funny thing.

He's the funniest thing.

He was like, not gonna lie.

I kind of look forward to these every year.

They are legitimately funny.

And I know you guys are gonna be mad at us for saying it, but they're they're legitimately funny.

Well, because they're funny.

Because of context.

That's it.

It's not like I don't if I saw that, if that walks into my Halloween party, in my laughing, I would not think that's funny. It's just like but like when you take everything. That's why.

It's if it's on a phone and I have this aesthetic distance to be like you stepped in it.

Yeah.

Yeah. I liked it out of awareness and humor, not out of liking it. I also, and.

That's people need to realize humor isn't morality, I think is what needs to happen. David, that ship is not the funny thing, is not why these fucking comics are fucking idiots.

All I about it? What's funny? Will you idiot?

Then go kill yourself about you have funny something? Start of religion, you fucking ding dog. Bad stuff is funny. It's funny when bad stuff happens to people. But you can't live by that.

It isn't just it isn't just the distance for me.

It also there's this small piece of it where it's like, Bro, you did something everybody else is afraid of, and you had no idea that that likes.

The bravery of black face, like Bro, I wouldn't, I couldn't do it, or maybe maybe or maybe last and enjoys the incongruity of those people doing that. And you're going, wait a sec. Everyone else's software has been updated. Everybody, I'll do it. This is it's crazy, and that's funny. It's so funny. You didn't get we passed the memo around the office. Did you know everybody knew? Y'all you live in the same place I do. It's it's so frowned upon, y'all. Stop doing it in your entertainment. It's

Know this one.

I saw.

This microphone ass that Okay, it was it was. It was fucked because it was these white girls, I guess, being.

W n b A players.

What you're like, wait, it was like they're wearing like pink jerseys and it was crazy.

That's true because okay, because here's something you are being a feminist because you are celebrating women's sports.

Are you celebrating women?

Give him? Give him? You could just be there are a white w n b A play. Famously, recently, there are a lot of what page backers came and bring and uh and Kaitlyn Clark. They are three easy names that are white NBA players that if you want to be a w NBA player, you can be. Kaitlyn Clark has controversial for so many of them. If you I mean, my my hot take is that Timothy Shallow made should go as Kaitlyn Clark because it's very close. It's close enough,

You just taught me about reposting, and I was just going through reposting ship and then I was like, oh, maybe, yeah.

The order of what I'm doing, I need to put some social media curated. Yeah, otherwise you think I'm just like, but Instagram is also just back to telling the people now, because every time I see a big booty across the gender expanse, my friend's faces are very small now in the left hand corner and they're floating.

Kind of smile.

My friends. My friends are like.

Yeah, and it's always the people.

It's always the people. You don't want it to be.

Man and the old guys, old guys who still think that she sees the heart that he says.

Okay, I'm gonna say, Okay, guess what. Guess what. I'm gonna tell you something, and it does not leave this room even though this is being recorded. Kid, Okay, this okay. So there is an older comic in New York, and every time I get on Threads, there will be like a woman in an orange bikini and underne he will put like orange hearts, and I mean, like, whoa he coordinated their brother putting hearts that matches a bikini that's beautiful.

That sucks.

He's like, baby, I'm fan.

Is that his computer with an orange fitted on.

He's in bed with. If I never take it off, I'm not bought. That works. Imagine how that thing smells.

Mag Ma, you.

Shirtless in bed with the Yankee fitted on.

I don't even think he has that many hats, you know what I mean, Like I think he's I think he's it's like the same.

I think he did a podcast with I believe what he said Matt TV paid him in hats a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, man, that is an old timey, devilish version of show business.

Okay, you canna have a salary or you can have what we know you're gonna spend it on. What don't we know you're gonna spend Look, man, you see you see Airy Spence on the street with the side and you go, hey, I'm gonna give you some money. You're gonna spend on hats. Man, I'm swear to god, it's my last, my last I take you to make That was like by something. I don't need the money. I know you're just gonna buy hat. I'll take you to the liquor store. Just don't body has I but I

Otherwise my world.

Yeah, he's in the front. They're going to Atlanta. Him fly.

He was like Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen fly the plane. And I'm like, James Brown is kind of like our Charlie.

Yeah, I would say so. And this is that we've seen multiple interviews where it's like you high. Yeah, but he's in the he sees my mom with the hat box. And this is the story my mom told me, and I literally tell it every time someone brings up hat or James Brown. My mom was grieving her father and the thing she sees when she gets on this plane is a bunch of smiling, happy people about James Brown. She don't want to see James Brown. She gets James Brown.

I don't you think it was alternative.

I don't think James Brown was giving a little bit of his soul to your mom. Okay, but it's like and that was like when the first time was like, Mom, that's funny. Funny you think you have more hat than your mom? Sorry, no, well now you know now I think she has different types of hats because she'd be switching it up.

My mom.

She switches up now because my sister in law she do hair, so my mom, Mom can jump the line. Yeah, we're talking about Barbara etiquette before the pod started. But my mom always talking. She'd be she be jumping the line when it comes to Crystal, my sister in laws, you new hair, Mama, my mama will take your spot. Yeah, my mama. You know there's grandbabies now to say, yeah, wow, she'd be switching her hair up a lot. Now, my

Yeah?

Are your parents together? No? My dad he passed away. He passed down. I was fifteen. So they got divorced, so he never got to see.

If they want to see, your mama's going on the carnival.

Tom joining us. Oh, that's a class my mama. Mama is going on a voyage to Atlantis. Got a turn? Yeah, they taking turns. He know my mama. I know I used to. I couldn't really sexualize my mother until I got into my thirties. My mom went to the super Bowl one time, and I want to say in Jacksonville, she was a super Bowl. She went to super Bowl with this man. His name is doctor Truly. No, no, he was doctor What did you call him, doctor, trulieh.

Mama got the highest state.

My mama got the highest stage on the highest state.

He said, to the super Bowl, to the super Bowl.

That's way different than like a carnival on the most important day of the year. I choose your mom, biggest media event in America. Yeah. Hey, he's a good man for doing that. It didn't work out, But looking back on it, I ain't flying nobody else the super Bowl. No, you have a husband. Yeah, I mean, I still good. I wanted, but I meant, yeah, I don't fly him out he had here. No, Yeah, we asked about him, Like you said, I couldn't I couldn't fly him. I said,

We have not even begun to address the conspiracy you showed up with today. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna take a break. We're gonna come back, we're gonna chat about your conspiracy. Then we'll do a voicemail if.

We have time. Yeah, cooking, we have fun that it's great. This is an awesome episode. Mama, Ma, mama, hoand I'm this is what I said. Dating. No, I'll say this so dating yes. But because my mom was on this plane to the super Bowl. She was on it with some sex workers and we love sex work. Oh, because he was a super Bowl super Bowl my mom, I cannot make this up. She got on the plane. It was a bunch of girls and dresses with like tiny suitcases and they all on the plane. They're all going

Oh no, brother, that is an episode of living.

Suddenly you had a Robert party. Wait a minute, good memory. Not usually he was the mayor.

We're going to take a break more Jay Jarden more.

My mama told me.

But we're going to do this respectfully, otherwise we'll end in a duel. And I mean a duel, real life duel where only one person walks away. We can meet with guns, bottles, knives or books and equations, but we're going to do this, like man, So get ready, get ready, We're back. Get ready? Are you? Are you auditioning? Did you get the side for the ten powered biopinion brother?

And this isn't me like in any I have no idea what my future is, right Like, I'm not one of these two who pretends that, like I'm going to become some big celebrity. Maybe that happens, maybe that yeah, But what I will commit to is that no matter what scale of celebrity I become, I am committed to the Terrence Howard film the second.

It is available.

You heard it here first, I would man deadline.

Exclusive I become the biggest star in the world, which I don't anticipate. If by chance I should fall upon a magic that allows me to become a true champion of all men, I will still serve at the Terrence Howard throne and because I would love to see middle Terrence like mister Hollins Opus Terrence, where it's like it's working, but you don't know how big it's gonna get.

Yeah, like pre Empire, you know what I'm saying. Because he was around.

He wasn't he in Sunset Park Bros.

He's been around for well, he was. He was in every black movie and then also somehow in every white TV show, and then like Empire was like a career renaissance. It was like he had already the flow had already happened. We were done with Terrence Howard. Yeah, little did we know? One times one? That's two, that's two because check the math right there? You got you got two of them? If I got a one and I got a one, how is that? Where this is where this is going.

He took this to Harvard.

And they said, wait a minute, way way way, way, way, way time out. Hey, hey cavel cavel man, damon, come here look at this. How about these apples?

Yeah? Do you think the Terrence Howard movie do you think it gets? Do you think it gets to real theaters. Do you think it's like a two B exclusive Rather, that's not for us to decide.

No, it's gonna be on the app he owns and creates. That's the problem is now I have to give my information to watch. That's and that's what I meant.

I didn't mean to be dismissive. I just mean that this is for Terrence Howard to choose what he wants his future.

Y'all know how like everything in the entertainment industry is kind of like moving towards people being more and more siloed. But there aren't going to be celebrities that go, well, I have an app. Yeah, if you download this app, you can have access to me twenty four to seven. Yep, And you mean you mean a phone? You just you that's you're giving us your phone number. That's it. Yeah, you can reach out to me.

I'll reach back everything I post and will be available to text you with as.

The phone can. I say that The saddest thing that ever has happened to me in Hollywood is seeing people are used to watch on TV tell me about an app? Yeah, like just like in different they happened to us outside.

Yeah, yeah, what a He was like, no, no, no, yeah. When I was really breaking down that before your told this story, I'll tell this story. That's the Hollywood improv. That particular person looked at me and your do Travis' skulls and said, by the shape of y'all's head, I can tell what part of West Africa from I might even can figure out what tribe he guessed twice? What

But anyways, get to my mama told me, app we're selling all kinds of stuff as you thought Erica could sell in sense that smells like a pussy. Wait till you see the incense we're sitting, bro.

If you want to know what I'm googling mapping with without actually going to places.

Available on that, you want to see the last thirty days of my search history? WHOA, Okay, that's dangerous, that it's way weirder, that it's like weird, but that is true, bravery. No, I wouldn't actually do it. This is a bit I don't I can't allow anyone to. I wouldn't let my spouse see that.

When the likes went away on Twitter, I was happy. Yeah, No, I don't need I got to it. Yeah, it's too vulnerable. I can't be out there like that.

No, No, And it's like I it's you're not. I'm never as stupid as I am in my search. Yeah, that's privacy.

You know. Hey, I don't know that. Don't tell anyone. I don't know this, but I am. I'm looking up this again.

And I or sometimes I'm like the people I'm trying to prove it to are right next year.

And I bet our grandpas wouldn't like if we knew every page in the dictionary they hit you know what I mean, every Encyclopedia Britannica stops that they they went on, like a few of those you were a little embarrassed about.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, you you you do understand that. Like now we have infinitely more access than they did, so we are asking even more because they probably were just like, I need to spell this before we're able to be like I'm going to show with him. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, it says not guilty. Okay, we can take a picture. That's what comedy is now. Comedy is like okay, well like bad rapists or like we don't know yet rapists. Comedy is not fun, is what it is.

It is fun for us to do, but like as a whole, it's as fun as I had working at the gas station.

Okay, yeah, in the sense you'd be like, hey, man, don't say that about women. They can hear you. Yeah yeah yeah.

And also you're on coke.

Yeah yeah, they go, I know David, we're on him. I don't work here.

Jay, you came to us with a conspiracy today. Uh that that we're very excited about. You said, my mama told me.

All black celebrities know each other, every black and she believes this because you'll see things like Chris Rock will get slapped and then like Denzel and Tyler Perry will go over the will you pray for him, Samuel Jackson will pray for him to like. She thinks that there is a level of fame where you just lock in with all the famous black people. Oh yeah, she she thinks that I'm close to that, and I go, it's not happening. It's never gonna happen. And I've made fun

Do you think that now it's so disjoined? I think there was a time where it was more like that than we would think. Probably, Yeah, I do think that I do, because I think there was like it's like have you ever been I don't know. I'm like a show or a festival or some shit, and there's two people who were in the same whatever, and they gravitate just to each other just because there's no more of them here or whatever, or when.

All the black comics at a comedy festival. Take a picture together and you can get the black comics. Yeah, there's one person who comes in you go you black? I was okay, yeah, glad.

I thought it was a little more bemboped than hip hop.

But yeah, maybe that's funny. What wings either way? Come on, we all like chicken, We all like, yeah, my granddaddy told you that.

There's a part of me that I think feels almost closer to your mother in this story than away from her. Like, I do think that that it is not as every black celebrity knows each other, but I think after a certain level, they all do kind of knowing.

My mama thinks that I'm close to getting the black celebrity text messages, not just to know that's not happening. Yeah, there's a few ascensions, and you are famous and doing well, and we're all very proud of you. You it means a lot. I've spent so many days at this community center really just not getting picked for basketball, and I'm so happy that I get to come here and do the ribbon cutting the gym. Yeah, yeah, I didn't play a lick. I was that. We don't remember. Nobody knows how you shoot.

I saw him drop twenty eight.

My mama. See just things that like, there is like this level of black fame that feels like a family re union and I just want to be like, no, I don't know if that's because we're fractured now.

We are fracturing now. I also think there's a level and your mom may not know about this, but this is real. There's also a level when people get successful to a point where it's like they pretend to know each other anyway.

Think about it.

Think about I've had people within my career, which is not huge, where it was like before I was in open moment and then they saw something or saw and then now it's like it's up, you know what I mean.

So I think there's like a ton of that.

I think there's a way because that's happened that all of us, right, that's happened to you before.

It like when an older black comic says your name and you go, how the fuck you know?

Mom?

Man? Or it's like I remember when we were in an audition together and you wouldn't look me in my eyes. Yeah, all of a sudden, now I say something, You're like I supposed David boy thing to say, and you're like, you.

Don't like me like a man up to this point. I'll tell you who it is after this is over. Oh my god. Well, now maybe my mom is closer to right than wrong. I feel it's not exact.

I think so, and I think because of that, it often comes because, like you ever notice, celebrities don't, at least from what I've seen in my experience and entertainment, celebrities don't like to admit that they don't know other celebrities. If somebody's hot, they'll always.

It turns into the amount of like social currency. Yeah, you're not behind the times. No, I know everybody.

Yeah that's my best friend.

Yeah, I love I love Yeah, yeah, I know. That's not if you love him together. Yeah.

I think.

I think there is a need for community at all times, and that I think once you reach a certain level of celebrity, there's only like eight people you can even vibe with. And so you it's why Michelle Obama gives fucking George Bush the mints. Oh, it's like, bro, we're the only ones that can talk about I will say, you know.

What it's like.

It's like me and old people It's like when you hear old people talk about being so old that they're like, I don't even have we were in all I was in all these rooms. There's nobody else who around, who is even in those rooms, who I can talk to. I think it becomes a similar thing that I think.

The reason birds chirp is because when they wake up in the morning, they just want to scream to everybody they survived the night.

That's all.

It is like when they wake up and everybody's going crazy, it's just them going, I survived.

Okay, okay, I'm okay blank. Stand While while I believe that is true from a biological standpoint, is very close to Taraji saying, do you know why we run away when we laugh because we couldn't laugh? It was very close to that. First of all, you leave her out of this. I don't know it was funny that. I'm sorry it was. It was I was trying to commit to you out that was great. It was it was just you said they survived the night, and stuff is

To sneak it into the butt shot.

Yeah, I'm gonna go you but every time over, every time. Oh here's what I got. This private that's for me, and no shout. I looked down there. This is mine, this is my dick. I'm looking at it. We're connecting. Oh wait till you did you full frontal or I've shown my butt. I haven't shown I haven't shown my my dick on camera. I've done like scenes in my underwear.

I won't paid attention. No, I just have little things that I remember that I can pull out to trick people who don't know math.

Okay, because okay, and tell me if y'all did this happened y'all. Eleventh and twelfth grade math to me was the performance of math up tenth grade. I was in a college algebra, a little bit of geometry. I still got you. I understand why radius is important, area is important. When we got to trick and like, really we're messing around on the Texas instrument calculators.

Yeah, oh yeah. It was all just learning how to learning how to pass the test, yeah, learning how to put stuff into that calculator, and then also playing Mario Brothers.

Did you guys have computer at Mario games on your calculator? Yeah?

But then I don't.

I don't understand what that math was, you know, I haven't. I know you're supposed to be able to use it to like see the sun or something or like, No, that's how you can look at it. Yeah, but I don't. If you learn the math, you could stare directly at it, even during clips. You could just keep staring because you know mad.

What happens though if you stare at her clip like you're trying to do a pillar, so you're gonna fry your eyeballs?

Wait, you went biblical? Who did that happen to?

Why?

It's not a literal lots? Why she turned back? Which which one are you asking? Who are you asking?

Who got their eyeballs?

Right? Yeah? The pillar assault was lots of white. I went straight. He was like, we don't want her anymore? Yea god fire bomb in that city, not for being gay, but for trying to rape angels. Everyone who doesn't know about in the morning, you're mispronouncing it's rape an No, they were trying and know they were angel Yeah, so taken off of YouTube. Well well okay, dd so Lit welcome these angels into his home and then the men of the village were like them. Sometimes it was cute.

Angel?

I mean, but I think there was mostly just wings and flames and eyeball angel. I saw someone do angelies halloweenco still recently, can I show y'all? No, no, no, it was the white girls, that's what. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah, I I don't even remember what we were talking about. Girl angels.

Oh, girl angels. I don't know any I don't know that the Bible is writing about them. We we sort of they are the Harley Quinn of our world. We created those afterwards, and everybody was like, yeah.

That's been the whole time. Yeah, yeah, because there's nothing by name, right, No, all the archangels are boys. Yeah, Michael and Gabriel and stuff. But I do think the rape was more the priority. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't know that they were coming for that. For that, I guess Angel, but Angel Booty and I I didn't have that Angelo cake that works on two levels.

That was that was trigonometry, that Texas.

That was a Pharaoh mont verse. Yeah, I think, Uh, what the fuck are we talking about? I don't know. I don't really know. I got dizzy. I've loved you said. You said, if you know the trigonometry, you can look at the sun, you said, burned retinas. Bird talking about the community of celebrities, and one of the things that it reminds me of is how often I don't think average people necessarily know this, but how often celebrities are constantly being invited into the same room with each other?

Oh yeah, or like event after event after event, you are being asked to like share space. Be it like premieres, be it like weird sales events, your PR works with this other group that also is throwing a party that it'd be cool for y'all to show up to. And so in that way, I think a bunch of celebrities meet each other and then that performer. Development kicks in and you go, well I met you already where people are looking all the Yeah.

This this was gonna make it the ebony. Yeah, exactly. This is an opportunity man to had that. I've had that moment. I just can't wait with all quit.

If I get to take a picture with somebody and I know it's going into embony, that's good enough for me.

Franchise someone it is. I think there. I think they're just the communities are smaller and more specific. Like if my mom said that about black out queer male comedians, I'd be like, yeah, I can text Dwayne, I can Tex Solomon, I can text Alex.

Like that would be that would be a fact that you have a group. That would be a toxic group chat from what I know of you individually.

For me, Alex and Dwayne took a picture I think in Austin together randomly at a club and I posted it and someone's like, yeah, I think that's all of them, got them. Yeah. If there would have been a fire that night, we would have lost. It'd be really fun.

Good First, It's like if me and Reggie con question Mandal take a picture, I'm telling you comic though we knew Mandel was coming, like he's going to l a. Yeah, yeah, how many funny shirts are the funny shirts in the city?

Yeah? Well, I as I'll always think the praise of mandal and I remember when also just like truly, he is the funniest person who, at least up until this point, always would say, Man, I'm about to wrap it up. I don't want to do comedy no more. I'm about to get the CDL headliners for y'all.

You say you wanted to be the greatest feature of all time. You forget that, though, Because I feel that in my heart all the time, I'm calling it out now.

And Mandol's a dear friend. I love him with all of my heart. I think he's a goddamn liar. I think he knows that he's the funniest. Say you don't think he can do a backflip. I think he knows he's the funniest human being on the planet. And I think this is all a ruse to get us to just let him slide on a bunch of goofy ship till he ascends past.

Every man, not knowing anybody's gonna be That's gonna be peak mandlin.

He's gonna put them hats on and mean it. Oh yeah, you think when he goes, hey, y'all be easy. He gets in the truck last be like, he's gonna be like, make me a dog that looks like a monky which sleeves down the air walking around. Man is funny because Mandel also utilizes the fact that he can say any word funnier than you.

So him saying it's like a tough thing. Yeah, those people are always you can't even fight it.

Him saying Japan and then not being racist. But man, a lot of people would go racial. He just went silly. Pure silly. Silly is so silly, is like ethanol. You gotta cut it. You got pure silly. I'm what that man lives in a silly that I have not yet found. There's a freedom in then. I don't know that I ever will find it in that way.

I'm deeply envious, so busy trying to be cute, but I and I'll say, I'm not going to give up on being cute, and I'm also not going to give up on him, so he can cut the ruse.

I know you're lying.

That's I'm trying to get sillier. Yeah, I'm too grounded. I hate whimsy.

You are anti silly at times.

It kind of pisses me off.

You don't cut that silly shit out. I just sometimes here sometime.

Yeah, sometimes very silly sometimes, but like most of the time it makes me angry.

I get so mad you you are silly, but you like to return to straight man. Yeah, like you like to get silly than a motherfucker, but then be like, hey, but stop.

Yeah. Yeah, since we are speaking of like being silly and a reverence, are y'all noticing so many comics kind of they skip silly and go to transgressive when they could be silly about a thing instead of being like angry about it.

I think that's because they don't have that gear though, because silly I do think coincides with actual humor. I think, yeah, silly is funny, and I think a lot of people. You know what it is, it's all these new cool guys. Because we talk about say, all these new cool guys, cool guys are the least silly.

And guess what, and guess what, it's even more than just guys who think they're cool. It's men who think they're the manliest man. Okay you if you if you think you're a manly comedian, a manly comedian, nigga. We both wear makeup, yeah, talking, we're both on stage doing poems. Basic am I am as desperate as you are. Yeah, it's like.

Not because you are. You get to do that, because they get to do that, because there's no.

Man over you.

Okay, yeah, because I think they saw it. I think a few kind of tough guys seen it and they were like, oh yeah, sweet over you. I'm just kind of guy, know is Sam J? That's the that's my mind, know that ship Sam.

Sam Jay comes and said, you go, hey your chance? Yeah you go, hey, ship. I don't know how he stuff about that, laugh about laughing. Sam Jay is our omar about that laughing? Sam J shows up and everyone goes, hey, hey, hey, hey man, how about that giggling. I've seen it.

I've seen I've seen talking about I've seen people be nice to me because I'm with Sam.

I like being a letter. She makes me feel safe. I like it. I make you feel Yeah, spoon big spoons were come over to a group of people talking and be like, what's so funny? We'll be like nothing, you like, nothing, No, what's so funny? Nothing? Nothing. We were talking about basketballn't I think as far as men strength and manliness, shut the funk up. That's not the point of the game that we play.

It's not it's it's such a it's such a crazy ruse. And I get it because there's a lot of men looking for whatever on the internet. Daddy say, yeah, all that ship, but like, but like, that's not We're dumb over here, man Like.

We're not. They but they also think, they think, and I can speak on they think that the end of all of this manly ship is success in a very I get a convertible and a bunch of money and a bunch of big titty women sort of way. And you go, nigga, this is comedy. You getting drink tickets for most of it, and at the end of it, maybe you get a girl with cool boobs and tattoos. Maybe you are not getting action star ship because you chose comedy.

That's what you're doing over here.

You wanted to hoop, Yeah, you just weren't good enough at sports to do that. So what do you want? Because I knew I was I wasn't gonna make it. I knew the whole time. That's why I was like, I'll be the funny one on the team. Yeah. I was just not gonna get taller. And that's OK. That was it. I was scared about that basket. Yeah, I don't feel it. Every time I learned a decent mid range that got me through a lot of ship. Yeah, let that out like that.

There was a part of my brain that just wasn't strong enough to be able to be like a nigga at the rim.

Yeah, and so I was. I knew it wasn't happening. Yeah, it just is, y'all can accept you want to how tough you have to be to be like less than like six three to be good at basketball, you have to be Derek Rose. You have to be a gang member. Yes, yeah, you have to be a gang member at least affiliate. To be careful, you gotta go back. Hey, we're not here to decide who is. We just know that his brother kept him safe.

You have to be tough enough to achieve your childhood dream and have it not show on your face. Bro Scotch dropping And then I couldn't.

I would.

There are things Dereck's Rose has done in his career that would make me cry. I would cry. I would cry much.

Like okay, much like basketball right now. I think also people discuss comedy through an a historical lens. So right now everyone says, oh, basketball is not great. I go, basketball is amazing. I don't know why, y'all y'all lieing. It's the same with people go oh, you know, especially honestly, especially black people, when it discussed comedy. Now, I go, wait a second, nigga, are you watching? Are you or

I don't think anybody watches comedy. I think people watch clips. I think they like personalities. I think people listening I don't even know if they watch clips. If there's when they clips. I think they watch personality. I think they watch clips that give insight into your personality or give your politics, and they align themselves.

I think the I think the true fan base of comedy are people who do comedy. Oh We've been talking about that a lot, like a handful. I'm meant to watch the majority of the common and I think it's just.

They always want to do it.

Some of my fans they know they can't because they can't because they have they have trouble making eye contact in the meet and Greek. I said, well, maybe you ain't going. We all do meet and Greek, all of us. It's different comedy people. It's nice to do me Greeks more games. Yeah, well because that day. Yeah, how we spelling me? How we spelling me to me? You know, you know there's a whole app for me and Greek

For me, it happens like when I'm in Springfield, Missouri and this guy comes up, he's like all the podcast, he's like, I just married a white girl and I live out here exclusively now. And then the same man says to me, I only eat black foods, okay, And then you do have and then you do have to go what does that mean?

Yeah?

Yeah, and then he tells me macaroni and cheese like he likes it down for you. I got a picture of I'll show you guys after I got a picture of him in my phone.

Okay, who's cooking these foods for him?

Though I think he does. I don't think he lets a white lady cook. She didn't even come to the show. Show wanted to know.

He honors the he he recognizes that he made a mistake and he honors.

Yeah. It was at Springfield, Missouri. It's when I did that bring David a plate show where people were bringing me plates.

What he brought a plate and.

It's like, look, I do want you to know that white hands did touch this plate, but not the food on top.

Of exactly she put the foil on it. That's because he's like Dirk to have the ten four play in the tunnel. That black woman said, maybe put put something on your wreath, don't put them on your miill. Derek, I baked that chicken. Go ahead, man, but that such a German white man thing to do is to have a black woman and be like, you don't eat that food. He's like, I'm gonna eat my wife's food. Don't make fun of me. You want her to be here. I'm a multimion there, but I'm respecting food.

Man.

I want to take leftover's places when I'm a multi This seems cool. Have you what have you done anything like that? Have you done anything recently? No? What's the what's the blackest thing you've done in in recent history that is blacker than where you are? You know what I mean? Or like, you do something and you look around and go, oh, that was pretty black of me. I lie dirt bringing a plate. Yeah, damn. We regularly do.

Like uh, like big We'll have like backyard parties and ship and I don't always realize how black the party is constructed until some white people show up, and then it becomes they are the only ones there, and everybody's like talking very loud, playing taboo. Like we we ordered from Stevie's, which is like creole food. Yeah, unbelievable. Ship, and like we we've just like we've put out a whole fucking yeah, a cookout of sorts and then here comes my white friend.

Yeah, and they don't we don't have anything for them. That's it's more that energy.

That's a better story for them anyways. I think, so yeah, they're happier that they got there. I truly feel like yeah I was. I go like, no, it's my friend, and then they show up. I'm like, fuck, I don't know how to I guess you could be my neighbor.

I only asked that because the last thing that I did where I was like, oh, okay, they're like I was treating I was interviewing people at sun Dance for Vulture, and I was treating the black cast so different. I was their publicisers be like everyone be like, do y'all want to go? They say, I gotta go.

They'd be like, no, not every entertainment space where you try to, Like, I feel like every entertainment space, so you you gravitate towards the black people.

Feel like, I'm prove my mama right like this.

No, I think I don't know back to you. I think your mom was closer than you.

You want to know. I get it because it comes from your mom and you don't.

Know nothing about show business. This is what I do and you don't want to have inside.

I know that lady in apology. I think I think she kind I think she's kind of right, like, hey, I'll send it back to Jacksonville. She's a good mama, and she told you right.

It's cool man, send it back to Duval County.

All right, we need to say one more break. Well, we're gonna wrap this thing up more. J Jorden one, my mama told me I actually am one point four percent my Jerry and African. I'm a sister. Okay, we're back brothers. Sisters. However minimum that's what I mean. That's what he looked at me, said one point five. I can see it on you at one point five some stuff, he said, Now, you little.

I'm smelling you got that day. Listen, we could talk about our brand energy drinks all day here.

We're here because we got a voicemail. Yeah, we got a voicemail. We're gonna play a really fun voicemail for you.

Now, Yo, what a DG and uh Langston, I fuck with Bustown, I beat Jack. I watched that shit all the time, this beach out the meal and I wanted to comment on the subject. I just heard you talking about about Barbers. I've been thinking about this ship for like nine days since I went to the New barber, and are you fucking my whole barber for like twenty years, but this new barber, I cut in this chair and like y'all say, sometime you's on our pose your eyes.

But from the gate, can we pose from you?

Gotta be a little.

Let him fel let him no regret, let him fits. You literally hit a pause, not a figure than pause. He said, can we pause that? You could just say pause? He digging, he digging in your ear hole. He said, I noticed the ear He said, I knew the whole time. Yeah, he said, I was never gonna address it. Man. Now he's saying, shame on this man for addressing the intimacy among young black men, because you do we hear the top of this. He said, you know, I was suck

Oh wait, let's hear the rest of them.

I do want to hear. And I believe we paused that kind of gag. I think he was saying, I think we can find the kind of gay. Ye.

He never did know ship like that, and I always noticed the ear hair. But barber is gay, like he's mother fuck. You gotta be a little gay to be, especially a good one like a hairdresser or something, because like it makes sense. I don't see that movie Good Hair with the motherfucker smack Will Smith and.

Composition Smack Will That's.

That's what.

That's what we're gonna say. You know this nigga, smack Will Smith, this motherfucker is coming from a nigger ass dimension, he said. Because I thought he was gonna say it felt gay to give the ear hair clip, he said, thinking, no, I'm thinking about it. To be a barber, you gotta be a little yeah.

Yeah, so that the levels are barbering then hairdressing.

You're saying there's an optimism here. Yeah, you're not hearing this as as hate speech, and I'm hearing him go, I want a detailed, oriented man who really cares about how good men look. Oh here, yeah, he is telling this as a positive. I think this ship ends up experience. I think this ship ends up pros the It sounds like what he's saying is only a man knows what a man me. Wow, I bring Will Smith back into it. Let's find out. I'm very excited. Okay, that's true here with.

The mother Will Smith and the competition that they had at the end, they dudes, and then I used to get my haircut by his.

Pause like pause, shout out to Deborah. She's really going through it. She's putting up with a lot of sounds. Okay, and he watched buzz Down.

Yeah, no, this is this is my fami. I think this is a good guy. I think so too. Let's see, let's see where this headed, because we've been it's a journey to get this. It's taking a minute. So we found out about three barbers now.

Which is confusing to me because twenty years nine days he was sneaking off and you were sneaking off with that.

Okay, let's let's let's find out more.

About that somebody miss named Deba. She said, have me crispy and like even if they don't like they could be d l because why you want to be that close to another man and that's on their hand and.

Want me to look good?

Why you want another man to be looking good? Like? I mean, no, knock to the barbers and keep doing y'all things.

We need y'all book.

I think they gave you, don't be damned little bit, especially to be good about all the masculine, like super hard barbers like they do the Boat'll be good your barber gay.

You're gonna be Christian, You're gonna be chrispy. All right, man, listen, we got there. Yeah. He does sa't nothing about gay people. He just said, if you're a barber and you are just invested in men's looks, I need you bill a little gay to care about your profession.

And I think this is a prime example of when of when culture the language is not necessarily being presented in a way where you go like, oh, this is an ally, well that's one percent ally logic. Yeah, that's a person fully committed to supporting the gay community. They just don't necessarily have all the language that we considered.

So you know, you know where the Venn diagram is for gay men and barbers. Ahead is a head ahead? Add Yeah he's there.

He's no.

I think he's I like this.

I think he's a good guy.

You know. Yeah, be nice to even though y'all wearing the same south Pole jeans. Be nice, you know, be a little bit more respectful to Deborah.

Or maybe not.

We don't know how Dever spoke. She could be a bit, but had him crispy, never did have him. He's worried about all he's Yeah, he said he doesn't want the hard niggas well, because think about it, like the real masculine barbers, like the hands, all big and clumsy, they wust to be on the.

I hate a popularized barber. Yeah, I hate somebody replaying high school in the barber. Never the best guy.

He's talking about big game. I don't like when they moved my head rough Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. Like, don't be rough with me, yeah nice, Be careful with me, Be careful, be careful with me. Hey, hey a little hey, Hey, who do you think is it? You're gonna be taking me in kind of place? I know we're not friends, but we were friends right now.

Yeah, yeah, you'd be just rough. Yeah yeah, I got the cape on come on, man, I'm superman. I got the marathon continuous capon. That don't got nothing to do with what happens to this barber shop. I have a theory that Nipsey Hustle is represented in every single barbershop from here to the Mississippi. That's one way, or any picture or a mural in a picture, a mural, a cape that says marathon, there is some Nipsy memorabilia of some sort in every single barbershop.

Kind of touched every barber shop.

I know my barber in Denver had hell a marathon ship, John Jones from Denver.

But that's not l a different. That's not that crazy. It's pretty crazy. It's pretty far really, it's.

But culturally in a lot of I mean, it's right, I think Denver is more uh like rural than we think it will relax.

Now, yeah, chances were saying earlier about how it's just mostly.

This is when he gets a bone in his nose. You start here, and then it's gorilla masks where.

White people rub sticks together. Yeah, yeah, it's where the white people talk like they're they're they have a click language.

That's the funniest thing because I don't think it click. I don't think it would be clicked. If if you had like a tonal relation, if you had a tonal language for white people, it would be various size, Yeah, like that would instead of clicks, it would be size.

Like like like white liberal.

Yeah, with getting an order rock, you.

Know what I mean?

That would think that's one hundred per I think it would be totally Wow, that's really beautiful.

That's their clickling.

Yeah, And why do you bring it up to you guys all the time?

Too?

Do you speak side?

Do you speak side? White people? You gotta start speaking side. Come on, we we know you speak SiGe. You can speak speak at home. They don't speak, they don't. But I like to see a SI renaissance. We get some side restaurants. Stop losing your side recipes. Come on. I haven't asked y'all, and I feel like, but y'all will have opinions. What's going on with y'all? Girls?

Sidney Sweeney that's not I don't know. That was the one who just had her titties up.

Yeah, that's what I know. Yeah, that's in the kind of liquid she was wearing, like Alex mac Yeah, I think childhood celebrity is bad for everybody.

Was she drunk?

Is she?

I don't know. I think she was young enough that that brain is mushed because euphoria. Because because you were you were not only a child, but you were a babbitch as a child. Everybody chose to ignore the fact that.

You're a Yeah, you were, you were, you were cast as a child. Bro eighteen is a baby, Yeah, don't. I'm too far past that to think that that's a grown person.

That was a baby.

And we went, I want to fuck that baby, and now that baby is acting up and I don't think we we are going to be able to figure that out.

He's the one with the white jeans.

Yeah, that's right, blue.

But the thing was like she got a great.

White jeans, like look at these, look at these, look at these white jeans. Blue wink, Yeah, great blue jeans.

And I don't even think that that was I think she probably has a lot of malicious people in her corner that were happy for her to do that. But I don't think that's an evolved enough person to know what they were doing.

Yeah, I mean to bron and I, my god, is that you know what I mean? If that's not a person being preyed upon, I don't know, kind of famous for praying on people and taking.

Well, how she gets Sydney's ways, Versionsy's.

Way, Sinney's way, that's that's a that's a drug heist movie City's version version. Oh my god, that's honestly not my angle. I don't really know much over that. I was just I was noticing that everyone was talking about her titties this week because she had them out. And I'll I knew it made it to y'all. I knew it made it to y'all. And I'm sure I didn't make it to you, like I'm sure some of my

Hey, I'm sure some of my humanizing of Sidney Sweetey perhaps comes from things I may have seen, things that maybe I appreciated more than King.

Oh man, I never seen you room like that.

I am, I am human, just like everyone else. I scrolled with one hand, just like everyone else. Oh my god, that's a that's a as as a bisexual journey. Smollette did it for me this week. She journey. I'm getting it. You got some new things. What journey, pus? You have some journey? She looks so good. I went you know what? Your brother was beat up? Somebody beat that boy. Hold on it. We're done. We did it. Jay, this is great. Can you tell the people where they can find you? Well?

Cool guy joke eighty seven On Instagram. You can find me apparently a journey small Let's dmut eves by you? Do you want to think about the other day that I always confused with the eaves by You.

Is Jason's lyrics. Wow, they're very different.

From I know, but I think the covers were the same. The covers of the vhs were the same tone. Yeah no, you're not making a big they are black movie. No no no no no no no, not just but like the like I think they were.

Physically Holiday Heart and baby Boy Wow. You can follow me at Langston Kerrman on all social media platforms. You can see me on tour. I'm still on the Aspiring Deadbeat Tour uh and you can follow us at my Mama Told Me pod or whatever the fuck it is on Instagram and Twitter and and not Twitter, Instagram and TikTok TikTok and and most importantly, send us your drops, your emails. If you want to tell us what else you saw in them, Sydney Sweeney photo, send it all to my Mama pod at gmail dot com.

Also Deborah, if you want to rebuttal yeah eight four Little Moms A four four A Little Moms.

Call us back, Deborah. We want to hear from you, like subscribe, rate review, look at them pictures? Bye, bitch, Hey bitch?

Is that one my Mama told Me? Is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart podcasts.

Created and hosted by Langston Krekt, co hosted by David Bori, executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hansani and Olivia Akilon.

Co produced by Bee Wayne.

Edited and engineered by Justin Komon, music by Nick Chambers.

Artwork by Dogone. You can now watch episodes My Mama Told Me on YouTube. Follow that my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel