Well, motherfucking many year sold, motherfucking many episode. Yep, yep, there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal Many episode, motherfucking many episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we died Deep Deep, so deep put your asked to sleep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove the conspiracies that you, the listeners have at home. I am not in my home. I am in a hotel.
It's Chicago that charges me twelve dollars for the WiFi every single day. I'll never forgive these motherfucker's. Do I have a conspiracy about that? Nope, it's just capitalism at work. You pieces of ship. Wife. I should be free like water and uh in toilet paper and tampons. There's a bunch of stuff that should be free. And I don't
have a funny list here. I'm just irritated at the fact that I need to pay somebody for some ship that I could go get at a Starbucks, and frankly, I desperately need in order to talk to you, the listeners. I'm so excited to be here despite my anger about the WiFi because I have some fun ship to unpack today. Usually I really try to take on a brand new subject every time, but occasionally people bring me responses to
some of the episodes that we've recorded. They send me new ideas, they send me new complaints, they send me nasty, long letters about how they wanna do terrible things to my body. That has nothing to do with the episodes. It's just things that people email a very public uh email space. I don't know why they would presume I'm the only person reading it, but they're absolutely have been
some some slutty responses to these podcasts. What about black people suffering and and being scammed out of their money and their comfort makes you horny? I'll never know, but I'm grateful. I gotta be honest, I'm grateful. If you're horny, I'm grateful. That's that's just who I am. I'm never gonna have sex with you. I'm I'm obligated to a very nice lady. But I'm grateful that you want a part of my penis. And I hope that comes across
in every episode. No hope every episode you listen to, you go, you know this guy is he's he's skeptical, he's questioning, and most importantly, he wants me to have some of that dick. He's grateful for it. And and you know what it means the world to me that you would even think that my dick matters. I don't think all dicks matter. I think some dicks probably don't matter. That's the stance that I'm willing to take. And I'm
grateful to have a dick that matters. But that's neither here nor there, because we have a conspiracy to dig back into. This comes to us from a lady named Sarah. Sarah sent me a message and I'm going to play it for you now, High lank Ston. Uh, this is Sarah. I just finished listening to your minisode about if dogs are Racist, and you bring up black dog syndrome, which is about how black dogs are adopted less or purchase
less whatever in the dog owning world. And what I have heard about that is a big reason that that happens with rescues and everything, is that black dogs don't photograph well. You can't see the details in their cute little doggie faces. And the reason for that is because that photography has always been racist. The way that photographers
have to accommodate for skin tones and stuff. It isn't really supported by the film or the digital hammers that we use, although it's getting somewhat better at this point, but um, just another layer of conspiracy on top of the original conspiracy. Well, Sarah, first of all, thank you so much for making that conspiracy a little bit sadder. Thank you for coming in with a little extra pizzas of sadness to add to the conspiracy that already made a bunch of people feel not great. We love you
dearly for sending this. Sarah. First, let's just unpack a few things that are troubling in your observation. Number one, Basically, what you're suggesting is a bunch of people are adopting dogs and being like, well, I want a slave, but I don't want a slave I can't take pictures with. I don't want a slave that doesn't photograph. Well, I need a slave that looks miserable when they take a picture next to me, and it's a sharp, precise photo of them looking sad, not just a slave that disappears
into the background. And furthermore, we gotta get back to putting makeup on dogs. Do you know what I mean, Sarah. If you got a black dog and that dog ain't showing up on camera, contour their doggy faced. Put that dog, give that doggie some some edge, give them a few white lines so that they stand out on camera. We can't let these slave dogs go un photographed. Furthermore, here's my biggest issue with it. And obviously I'm joking about
contouring the doggy faces. I don't need any of you writing letters about how I secretly support Laurel and Estate Lauder and all these other makeup companies who I know experiment on animals, despite the fact that they tell me otherwise. There's no way you can convince me that you don't occasionally pick up a monkey just to try out some chemicals real quick. But that's neither here nor there. Also, you can't sue me. I called no sue rules right
before the podcast started. You didn't hear it, but I said no sue me. And and if I say that legally, I'm safe anyway, Sarah. One of the more troubling parts of this is that just the entire culture of photo graphing animals in the first place. Let's move on from photographing animals It's just another way for the government to be tracking you. The n s A is using your dog pictures to figure out where you are. What you're doing. You're taking your dog to some park and thinking you're
taking a charming photo of old whiskers. I don't know why you called your dog Whiskers. You're a weird motherfucker, but you named your dog Whiskers, and you took a picture of him in the park. And then some governor's daughter turns up face down in the in the pond in that park with a syringe in her arm. And now suddenly you're a suspect. You're a whisker snitched on you, and you were a accomplice in the crime. This is just another way for us to be tracked, to be
falsely accused. I don't support it. Stop taking pictures of your dog rubbed their bellies. They don't give a funk about Instagram. That is what I say to you, Sarah. I hope that that is I don't imagine it could have possibly have been helpful, but I do think it was at least accurate, with zero details uh that need to be questioned or corrected. I think I nailed it
a hundred percent absolutely didn't miss a thing. Now, another fun thing that tends to happen on this podcast is that a lot of people send me ship that is almost too insane to even look up. People send me conspiracies that are so insane that they truly don't even show up on Google searches. There's no way for me to find real information about these things. And what I would like to do is read you an example of one of those today. It's a fun one from a
person named Nikolai. Nikolai sent me a message that had a lot of very glowing compliments and also some suggestions about some books that I can read. This motherfucker don't get me at all. I ain't reading ship, but I told him I would. I like to pander to my in so I don't want to hold Nikolai to think that I'm a complete piece of ship. If I'm being honest, Nikolai,
I'm not buying these books. The point is at the end of that message, one of the things that Nikolai says is that he thinks that Sammy Davis Junior's glass I was actually a piece of Israeli spywear. That's right. He believes that the glass eye that sits in Sammy Davis Juniors, formerly a live face, was actually implanted by Israel as some version of spying on I guess America, I guess popular music in the nineteen sixties and seventies. I'm not quite sure exactly why he thinks Israel is spying,
but he says that that is true. Now, I want to be clear. First of all, let's unpack a little bit about Sammy Davis Junior. Sammy Davis Junior is arguably the greatest disabled performer of all time. I I think it. It goes maybe without question, the only person closes the glover because that motherfucker has been fifty five for seventy four years now. I don't know how he does it. It is it's some version of Benjamin Button disease. But
it ain't Benjamin Button. It's more like Bradley Button, you know what I mean, Just like a offshoot cousin of of Benjamin Button, where you don't grow younger, you just stay the age of a very tired man for the remainder the whole of your life. Truly, the point is Sammy Davis Jr. This man was a brilliant performer, a singer and actor, a dancer, uh some call a coon. I don't know he did it all. But Sammy Davis Junior lost his eye. And this is something I didn't realize.
Sammy Davis Junior lost his eye in a car crash in fifty four, a near deadly carc crash, when his face hit a button on the steering wheel, a bullet shaped button on the steering wheel of his Cadillac, because back then Cadillacs and ninety four Cadillacs had a signature steering wheel where literally there was a metal like protrusion in the middle of the steering wheel. I guess for impaling people. I'm not really sure what the function was
meant to be. Truly, how insane is it that we think we're like this advanced society and literally, fifty seventy years ago we were creating vehicles with a fucking spear pointed at our hearts the entire time we drive. We're not advanced as a society. We're not good. People were fucking idiots, and every day we learn a little bit more of how stupid we are. That said, after the accident, Sammy was later fitted with a glass eye which he
kept for the remainder of his life. Now, Sammy, as I mentioned earlier, shortly after the accident, also converted to Judaism. He often cited that car crash as the thing that pushed him in his seeking out other forms of religion. He I guess felt like the Black Church and Catholicism. I think he grew up Catholic at one point wasn't answering the questions that he needed, and therefore he turned to Judaism and felt like Judaism offered some solutions that
I guess these other religions didn't. Now, Sammy does have a history of aligning himself with the white devil. Many of you are familiar with the fact that he was a member of the rat Pack, a group of all white men, mostly alcoholics and singers to gang bangers. But they made some hits, They made some goddamn classics, and I really like that Frank Sinatra and that Dean Martin, those guys at at all. Uh. He also hung out
with Elvis, known steeler of black culture. He maintained multiple very public relationships and even married white women, and most importantly, he supported known racist president Richard Nixon, much to the chagrin of the Black munity at the time. I think it's more than fair that instead of looking at this in terms of some sort of Israeli spyware, based off of this information, that it's more likely that that glass
eye was in fact a Caucasian infiltration system. That's right, I believe, and this is my theory, So fuck your theory, Nikolai Papa's stepping in. He's taken over. I believe that white people knew that Sammy Davis Jr. Would find his way back into Black lives. That Black people are very forgiving of our celebrities. Look at Greasy, look at Tory Lanes, look at uh who's another one? If Isaiah Washington ever gets this ship together, we'll probably forgive him. Who knows.
The point is, Black people are always forgiving our celebrities for the dumb ship that they do. And with that, white people knew that Sammy Davis Jr. Would find his way back, and so they put a spy system in that eyeball so that he could pick apart all of our our progress and our secrets. Sammy Davis Jr. This is something that many people don't know actually participated in the nineteen sixty three March on Washington alongside Dr King.
What a perfect opportunity if you ask me for the c i A or the FBI or that bitch flow from progressive to try and infiltrate and destroy what little power we as black people have been building this entire time. Sammy Davis Jr. Did did He didn't have to work for Israel. In fact, a lot of Jewish people of America don't even support Israel. We're in the middle of a very tense time in this country and need to be clear about that. My dad is Jewish. You don't
support Israel. He fluxed with good filth fish and that's it. That motherfucker is disinterested in the rest of all their shenanigans. But the point is, Sammy Davis Junior didn't have to align himself with Israel. He already had the white man on his belt buckle, he had the white man in his eyeball, and because of that, he became a weapon, a goddamn super spy, a robot for the Nixon administration, and I assume many administrations to follow. So Nikolai, I
hope you learned your lesson. I hope you go out into the world from this point on, and you say, damn, I'm a fucking idiot and length sense. Right, He's brilliant. He really picked it all apart anyway, all right, I rambled for quite a bit, and most of this felt like nonsense. But I bet you'll enjoy some of it. Not all of it, that's almost certain, not all of it. But yeah, I bet you enjoyed some of it. And if you enjoyed any of it, which I take full credit for, if you enjoyed any of it, you owe
me money. But the point is, if you enjoyed any of it, I would love for you to send me more conspiracies, more of your thoughts and feelings and dumb ship that you come up with, like Nikolai and like Sarah, send it to my mama pod at gmail dot com. I would love to hear from you and berade you in front of I assume fifteen less nurse every week. That's about where I imagine we land in terms of the numbers. But yeah, okay, sending that stuff by bitch,
motherfucking Minia. So many episodes, motherfucking Mini, ever so motherfucking Mini, ever so many episodes, motherfucking Mini episod