12 Inches or Less (with Brandon Kyle Goodman)

that for you. That I'm just saying. I don't think it would be like I need some garnish on the plate, Like I'm not just gonna have to stay chips in your racist ahostly money stuff. I can't tell me Bang bang bang skeet skeet skeet. There it is, there it is.

Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove that Ta Diggs maybe, in fact the only man in history to work his way back from the title of Oreo. They were shaman ting, they were shaman tang. They told him all he did was service the white devil. But look at him now, because Dicks used to follow me on Twitter, we're very close, bangs.

They called him all the mean words you can call a black man, and now look at him. He's the funniest man on the internet. And he got a bad bitch on his arm. And sure as you fuck little Fizz, but that's none of my business. Doesn't matter. I ain't got nothing to do with nothing. Come on, and yes, and little Fizz is a cutey pot but he's like like, he's like that cute where he's never gonna look like

a man. And I'm David Bortan. Yeah, Little Fizz is always gonna look like the coolest dude in the eleventh grade. That's that's that makes sense to me. Yeah he's got Yeah, he's got big. When I graduate, I'm gonna do this and yeah, yeah, like you heard, he might go D two, but I don't know. He's probably going to a juco and it's gonna get uh sort of stuck in in that transition. Yeah, then he just ends up working for Costco Corporate. But you know, he's a fine life for

Little Fizz, but it's not what he dreamt of. No, did he think he was gonna live in Tulsa forever? But that's how that's where it took. All Right, we can't we can't talk a Little Fiz forever. I don't know how a conspiracy about Tight Diggs ended up being a Little Fizz conversation, but that's the mastery of this podcast. I'd say our guests today, I'm very excited that they're here. Been a part of so much cool shit, specifically Big Mouth on Netflix, very responsible for all the great work

over their human resources. Also responsible, brilliant writer, thinker, talker, motherfucker. Give it up for our guests, Brandon, Kyle good Man. Can't nobody got time for it. Yeah, I'm just quick, good one. I like that intro? Yeah, yeah, hell yeah. How are you doing? I'm good? How you doing chilling? Yeah? Any thoughts on on Little Fiz and what he brings to the table or Ta Digs either either one really all be two ka um a lot, that's the game one. No,

littap is is the maybe two straight one. He's he's the rapper, the light skinned rapper in the group who was now t Dig's lover. Gotta see I was I haven't kept up with my Tay Dick since. Uh, and that's that's your fault. We're not that we didn't do that to you. You have the chance, you know. I love it, but I love a good take dicks. I saw him on and um head with in the Angry In That was the last time I saw it, which was he was incredible, accomplished Broadway actor. Don't do that

to come on and then you can go to Broadway. Yes, investment is good enough TV series. Listen, I'm a big fan. I'm saying the world had turned on him. U ain't nothing wrong with that? Well, well, we we can't bullshit any longer. We have. We have a a wonderful conspiracy theory that you came to us today with. And I will say this has been a conspiracy theory that sort of has just been sitting there for a while and nobody's touched it. Literally, no one has brought it up now.

It's not even one that we've I think broached in any kind of way. And it's a very simple one. You said, my mama told me black men had big dicks. You. Yeah, I love being here. This is great, great chaotic. Whatever you wanna call it love, We'll take it. Tell me more, tell tell us more about this this black men and

they're big, they're big penises. I mean, I feel like everyone knows that as a as a theory and the the ideas that black men have like nine inch dicks or above, and then is on the small side you have put so if you are under nine inches and you don't, you're not black if you don't have a nine inch Because it's really what I'm trying to say. I want to I want to start some controversy here, but I feel like it's impossible to be double black.

Then asking ship David, what looks like I'm still half black? All right? We got a double black and half black. I love it. Um, Yeah, I mean, you know that's the thing. And then and then, as you know, I feel like you hear that theory really young, like when people start talking about dicks at like fourteen and fifteen, you start hearing that, and then you start measuring your dick to make sure that you're actually full black. Yeah, and then you're like, do I go balls? Do I do?

Do I pin the balls back and go yes? Yeah. There's a lot of strategies to make up. So if you were like me, you're a chubby kid, you got a little bit you can push back. I call it the reserve. Like, like, well, what do y'all think? Where do you measure from? Do you measure from the balls? You measure from? Like? Where where would you measure your penis from? I measure penetrable? WHOA, that's respectable. I like that answer. That's that's a great answer. I will say that.

And I don't mean to jump jump the gun here, but in my research, I actually read about the the technical way in which researchers measure, and it's from the top where the pelvic bones sort of starts above the penis that you're allowed to measure. You're not allowed. Yeah, you're not allowed to measure from the side nor underneath, because you're going to gain to your point some some impenetrable inches and or at least like a boost from

the side and underneath. Well, now I'm having identity crisis. Not gota you've been You've been cooking your books for by a while. Somebody has been juicing you know what I mean? Damn y'all, yell growing up my whole, my whole sense of self Okay, great. I think this whole topic has needed to be approached for a long time. Though it's been it's been necessary. It's a lot of pressure. No, like it feels like to live under this, as you know Lenggstone, to be very dark skin and live under this.

It's like you gotta have waves and you gotta have a big old dick, and that's what you do. And you look great and gold and green and yellow, yellow and yellow, and you look at my old yellow. Yeah, I don't know that. I I've what you're describing does not feel like the anxiety that I necessarily had to grow up under. And I acknowledge that you never felt like you were you would never felt big dick anxiety. Oh no, I had massive big dick anxiety. I'm saying

that none of it felt like I was. It didn't feel like I would be like, uh laughed out of the building if I didn't have the biggest dick. Do you know what I'm saying? And what you're describing feels like it's not just have a healthy sized penis, it's have a penis worth talking about. And or you are less black than you appear, yes, for sure, which is porn culture too, right. I mean, like a lot of us as young adults would also as grown adults. Yet our idea of what sexism, what body should look like

from porn culture. I mean, I think it's what women are currently in the state unpacking, right, Like that the male gaze has had an idea of what women look like and look like during sex. It's all from porn. And so the same thing is true for ethnic groups. It's like the idea of what an Asian man or an Asian one looks like, what a Black man looks like. It's all from porn. It's all like fetish and not real.

I mean, those dicks are real, but like the pressure that the entire community has, some of them, some of them I don't know. Yes, yes, yeah. Sometimes you're like, whoa, hey, brother, it's new. You can't I will say, I will say, there's every and maybe you all have experienced this. Every once in a while you bump into a porn where it's just a man with a regular size, faintness, and a part of me is like, hell, yeah, let's go, let's go bookmark look at him doing it. Yes, yes,

it's normal to me. No that I think that this one though, this we do all. I don't think there's any black men who have never come into situations where that was what was expected, right, we all live under this umbrella, right, Yeah, No, I think I think this is it's a it's a very universal pressure I think placed on black men, especially about their penis size, in a way that then maybe you all have experienced this.

White guys can openly joke about their penis being inadequate or or not big, and it sort of becomes like an easy punch line that they don't ever have to run from there. They're always saying, whoa, I can't dance like a little just like that. Well, I have a question. I grew up going to a lot of p w I predominantly white institutions, and so I felt that pressure, especially about dick size. But we're either of you around mostly like grew up in mostly black high schools or

black schools with the pressure the same. No. I moved to the country when I was fourteen, not the country of America, no, like yeah, yeah, like the country area. Yeah, when I was kind of you know, just off the porch if you will. Yeah, that's all. That's all that is. Every and especially when you're a kid because you have no like yeah, the point is, yeah, that's all those little those little trollops wanted damn that big day my

high school. No, that was the correct way to behave inside of this podcast, we don't apologize to anybody for anything we do. I grew up in a neighborhood that was weirdly like mixed, like not not. It was probably predominantly white, but not in a way that was like, oh, ship, we're like one of few, so we have like a nice mixture. And that meant that I don't necessarily know that I felt any special pressure from a white community

versus a black community. It kind of felt like just whoever you were trying to funk meant you didn't want that anxiety spreading, you know what I mean, Like we all knew the same ship. I just wondered, like he went to like a southern black church, if like you felt the same pressure that your dick had to be big or in the black church, we like there was a grounding reality of black No, like you know, Dick's

coming off side. Yeah, the preachers like he has ain't that as long as your money's greed, you're good over here. As long as you tried that ten percent, we don't care, right he once small ones want to climb on rocks. Hey, guy took ten percent off me from the top. You know we'll get it back in heaven. You get back. And that's that's what the Jehovah's witnesses are talking about. It's really a tax, faith tax. They take a faith bax right off the tip. Brother, do you believe or

not God, It's gonna give you that dick back. God's donna give me that dick back. Yes, yes Na, have you heard the good news. God, it's gonna give you the ren give you that dick back. Okay, we we have gone a while now and we haven't made much progress in terms of understanding this conspiracy for yourself, Brandon, tell me do you personally believe in this conspiracy? How much or how much are you bought it? Well, So, the thing that I like, I'm I'm I'm a homosexual.

So I research and I've done some data. So I yet some dick research, um, some honatomy as we call it. So what I fully know is uh that that is not true, that that black dicks comes on many sizes and there some that are you know, really really quite large, and something that are something that are very tiny and and and to me, the biggest thing that I have

learned is it's how you use it. You know, like which you hear the motion of the ocean, but you're like, nah, I still wanted tennishes, But as an adult at thirty five, I'm like, oh, yeah, it really is more about how you use it, because there are people who have twelve inch dicks and are it's a weapon and what else would you do? You have to rob the pharmacy with that? What are you just gonna You're just gonna pick up

your medication and buy candy corn? No, you hurt people how you go so far as to say a twelve inch stick is a burden? Yeah, it's it's someone with an eleven and a half inch stick. I can that's the way you want to stop? What does it say, say any more than two dollars a year and it doesn't feel any different. That's the same with penis, Like, yeah, I can see that you have to go to porn right because like regular freak ain't trying to deal with that.

Everything freak you are. You are a fucking weed. Don't you get out of here with big dicks. That's good energy. I've been trying to do it for years. Because here's what I'm saying. You don't have a twelve inch penis. It might have been too big before, so extrapolate that by however, many twelve is crazy, twelves a burden. I don't much. I don't think that that's even at least in talking to too many of my female friends. It it never seems to be the desire, like it's a

desire to see it. I think we all want to see the motherfucker, but nobody wants that inside of them. I have had like we can do this. Uh, this is really interesting. I've had a twelve inch dick inside me once, and yeah, I'm I'm a brag about that because you know that took a lot of breathing, a lot of douche, and a lot of praying God, and it was great. But it's one of those things where you're like, that's a that's a vacation dick. You know what I'm saying. That's not like, but I want to

be with every day. I don't want to marry that dick, you know, I want to I don't want to write a roller coaster after work on two No no, yeah, yeah, that's that's like, which is why I said twelve is a porn dick. It's like that's something you're like, Oh, I'm I'm gonna look at that. I'm gonna see it

one time, but I'm not I'm not trying to. Yeah, you know how you know how Kumal got buff and like uh and like then we found out how he did it and it's like, oh, he hasn't had an almond for like two years, and it's like that's that's what that seems like, you know what I mean, where it's like you gotta really be down to put in the work every single day to experience that that level of of buffness and big dick would have to be in a vent, like you couldn't just like lazy right

before we go to bed sex no no no, or like wake up sex not because you really get into the intestines at that point, like like that's when you're really beating guts because you were beating that time never felt applicable to what I do and I'm not. You are beating the out somebody's guts, so you know you can't. You can't surprise somebody with that. You really have to

plan that out, are you? Are you at all afraid that at some point down the line, your doctor is gonna sit you down and be like, Brandon, we've got some bad news. Your guts are beat to death from from that that twelve and Dick, you too, honestly and honor. I hope I got that all want for that if if that happens, like I feel like wi thanks. There's there's no technical term for this, but but there's bruises. I'll love you your guts from the beating. If it's

a gay doctor like congratulations. My ship wasn't foot long. Every time I completed with someone, I would put a notch in it like a bed buon. All right, I think we did enough to earn a break. We're gonna take a break. We'll get back with more, Brandon Cole good Man more. My mama told me anyway, welcome back to my mama told me the podcast where we are today actually talk you know about Dick than the way that y'all are not acknowledging that drop David is crazy.

You're just going into your script like that. You know it was you know too. It's just it's just one of them drops me bick. Oh my god, that was unhinged. I like it. But we are back in Yeah, we are talking about do black men have big old hanging hogs, big old hanging hogs. And now now, Brandon, you you've experienced a big old black dick, You've had the twelve venture, do you? And this this is the question. I guess I've always wanted to ask, what is the preferred size?

Is there a preferred size where you're like, that is exactly correct? Yes, I'm glad you're asking this. I'm like, it's funny because my publicist is on here and I'm like, I wonder if they're like listening to me talk about the dicks that I've taken and they're like, what, how are you going to spend this? I think I think you're spinning a chest right and spin. This is the book.

This is We've got the follow up, seventy pages about me riding twelve InChIs um nine inches to me, it's like perfects, like a perfect that's still pretty big for regular dicks, right, yeah, that's just still a pretty you know. I would say that I like a big dick. So eight to nine is like the right, like if it's like, oh it's big, and also like it's not too much work for me personally. Not to brag, but that's that's my that's my jam. Like eight to nine. I love

that for you. That's good for you, that that's that you even have that choice like that you because we have no choice. I can't be like, oh, seven to fifteen centimeters, there's no we don't get to talk about that. You don't get to you just get to say all you can say. It's like it was great or I didn't like it that much. I want to point out. I want to point out that that ten centimeters is full dilation for a woman in labor. So seven seven to fifteen for a woman just walking around is maybe

the loosest pussy in all of history. Oh so now you're shaming people. Okay, I didn't know it was that kind of fucking podcast. I apologize. I don't know. You're out the goose. I'm on your side. I think tight loos's good. Yeah, it's it's like pizza man, It's all pretty good. Yeah. I feel like I mean, like, have you all had any sex, Like penetrated name but no, no, no, no, no, I no not yeah, but like have you fucked somebody's ass? Yeah, it's it's too much of what to do for me. Yeah,

I don't. I don't care for it. It's it's not it's not my jam. It's just a lot of it's just like a lot of like I'm not that patient. Got it, got it, got it? Yes, you do have to be patient. Yeah, but maybe I always wonder maybe had it has it? Maybe if it was somebody who did it more often, it would be like more of a kid do it? But every times feeling a production?

How long did it take usually? I'm so fascinating about this, like an extra couple of minutes of just like really though, like head in and then a little bit uh and then a little bit more and you know what. So it's like this, it's like it's like a little bit and get that used to and then used to that and then used to that. This is great for an audio medium. Well, I think we can explain it, David

was my mom does listen to this. I think I think this won't be the thing that jumps her off board with this conversation is very open, so I've never I love shut out some moms. I've never vagina, So I want to ask a whole that is generally how it works? Always? Yes, yeah, you're like it can be like that vagina Okay, okay, Vaginas aren't always as blossomed as as you would love them to be and or ready for whatever is that already feels like a bad word. It feels wild. I don't love. I didn't have to

tune tag in on this. I could have just let the con the research you started, all right, I did do some research on this. No, You're not good. Okay, okay, No, what I'm saying is sometimes vaginas are not as warmed up as they need to be in us. It takes longer to enter that is. That is how from the conversation. Are y'all part of the warming up of the vagina? For sure? Oh? I eat everything on my plate? Oh yeah, that's what we like to hear. Never never, never, not

attempted to warm that thing up. I've failed a few times. How long do you warm it up for you? Outside of time? Outside of time? Will I grew up? I grew up with a weird body. You gotta make up for it I eat. I don't give a ship. We can go for a long long What if I never checked my watch? Now near? Whatever? Do you? Is that? Okay? I want to ask because I feel like so often that is not how straight men respond to this question.

So like, was that something you learned from from your community, from other like how did y'all get so in tune and sensitive? Feel like? No, Oh, I gotta eat this for a while and take care of it. I think I'm just a person who's eager to please in general. Yeah, I think it's I think it's a personality trade looking for validation. Probably I was about saying I I similarly seek affirmation in a way that is probably poisonous to my but also great for eating pussy you know what that? Yeah,

because I do know that's not the thing. I know a lot of people who don't even do it, which seems like and then do you even like pussy? Yeah? Anytime, anytime I've talked to a man who has said some shing like that, be like, weird ass, nigga, what's wrong with you? Like there, come on, dog, that's it's dope down there. Oh, that's a that's a learn learn on the fly for your buy. Yeah, the first time was

probably bad. The first time is bad. Well, now you get older and then you've yeah, you've met a lot of women who have you know, slow down or don't like this or whatever. So like it's definitely time on task and like listening to partners. But at the beginning, I was just go. I just was like, right, have you ever seen the Tasmanian Devil? I was like, if I could take an aspect of that incorporating into my game. Yeah,

it's a weird thing. And I'm not sure if this is true for for the gay community, but certainly in the strike community, it's a weird thing where we are not often afforded the option to not know what we're doing. And so you you kind of gotta you gotta show up like your fucking Tom Cruise and Top Gun, even if you're you're one of them other ones in Top Gun that died, you know what I mean? Like, you gotta really be be ready to do whatever and not

not doubt yourself, right right, right, right? Well wait, who taught you how to do you? That's the first question. Yeah, taught you to suck dick? Specifically, a friend of mine named Michael. Damn, that's nice Michael's it was a white boy Michaels know how to suck dick? Um we met my Yes, if you want to get topped off or you need a corkboard, Michael, it was like freshman year

of college. He taught me, which now people follow me called the b kg y. The Brandon called him a yawn because it's all about yawning so you can open up the back of your throat. If you're a singer, you know this like opening your your soft palet. I think so you can get more of the dick in the community service. This should maybe the clip. Honestly, this was super informative and not in a way that I can offer anything. But why do I feel wiser than

I I started today? Yeah? If you if people have problems like gagging on dicks, it's because you're you're blocking or throat, so you have to yawn opening. That's almost like up you're blocking your blessing. Blocking. Say that to your neighbor. You're blocking your blessed. Open that throat. Uh, that's a different service than the one we started. Okay, we can't deadly dally anymore. We've got to get into

this research. I did. I did do a fair amount of research on this subject, and there are surprisingly fewer studies about this conversation than one would expect. Part of the issue, I think is the reporting and or the collecting of data. Right, how many people essentially are willing to have their penises measured and then documented for science? And then the alternative is if they're not willing self reporting, which objectively seems like flawed science. I'm not buying that, right,

you always want toad next, right, I'm not. Come on, man, I can't. I couldn't possibly tell a professional this person has a briefcase. Goddamn it, they're gonna hear a little extra Yeah, you're you're a scientist, you went to college. I'm I'm I'm lying. Yeah. In fact, a study from the Kinsey Institute in nineteen eighty nine found that all of the participants who initially claimed in the wreck cock length of ten insues they did not say cock. And that's listen, I am. I am telling you. I don't

use cock personally as a descriptor. Ever, It's not my thing. But this is the way that the community thing like, I think, right, I always I always thought it was smut. Like it's like people who were really into smut in general, it's like it's like filthy people. Yeah, like when you hear somebody say like twat and you're like, yeah, yeah you are British. Why are you talking like that? Friend? Yeah, I got you. But they said those who claimed in the wreck penis length of ten inches are more turned

out to have a considerably smaller length. What is considerably smaller? One participan thank you for asking that. One participant even claimed to have an eleven inch dick, but it turned out to actually be six and a half inches. You can't do six and a half to eleven, Okay, you can do, but yeah, that's that's double different. Even Listen, I look, I've told people I can dunk before, and I know I can't. I've been there, big dog, I see your vision, my mom. I'm sorry. That's just crazy.

He really doubled it. Thought nobody was gonna find out. To the study, he was like, that's that's crazy. He really he really bugged the funk out. But but the point is that in general, it seems like lying on your own dick is a tendency. Also not for nothing, And this was me putting my conspiratorial head on, I think part of the reason that there are fewer studies here is because white scientists might be avoiding the study that that largely largely would would prove their fears to

be true. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's one thing to find out that your pain is is smaller than another person's pain is it's another thing to do actual science work to find out that your pains is smaller than another man's pain. Now I have a theory. Go with me here. I'm ultimately because like you've done the research, she said, it's it's it's across the board. I think white men actually have an easier time living under the fallacy that they have smaller dicks, because then

if you just have normal, you're amazing, You're exciting. Yeah, you understand what I'm saying. They have. It's easier for them. They once again ship rolls downhill and we have to carry the burden of this big fucking boy nothing about the come on and true. If a white guy pulls out a nine inch dick, you're like, oh my god, if I'm okay, well that's what I wanted to And they're boats above average. They so they we have to be normal to be that's we have to be twice

as good as they do, which Obama was right. Chris Black's dad said to him, we gotta be twice as worth, twice as hard. Can't have the rewards twice the dicks and all you do it's online posting these big gass too foot black dicks. You're not helping us. Yeah, you're hurting the community. But Twitter, please just normal dicks rise. We need a normal dick and porn for black men. Move Come on, a little fizz. If you're listening and using him like you got a normal dick pulled out,

let everybody see it. Stand up, stand up for us. Come on. Now that said, I did find a study that supports there being some legitimacy. Brandon, This is actually jetting a little bit against what you're saying. But there seems to be some reporting that at least supports the legitimacy of the claim that there is there are racial designations in terms of size. A two thousand thirteen paper published in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences. You

know that one that we all read. Researchers reviewed penis size reported from a hundred and thirteen countries, and what they found was that men of African descent tended to report the longest penises on average, around six point three three inches. I've heard, and this might be somebody, so I'm not what he said, Graham rising and then and then what did he say after that? I have I

have heard that it's not a race thing. It is a climate thing because places with warmer climates, the body, like the extremities are free to flow longer, but in colder climates it assures you well to be constricted. Wow. Yeah,

that's just what I've heard. Now, Now this would I think possibly disagree with that, where you know, black black men were coming in at six point three three inches, while people of East Asian descent were averaging around four point three one inches, and most Europeans tended to fall somewhere near five point seven one in this study. Mm hmm. I And I've always wondered about the other side of

the coin, which is obviously Asian men and tight. Okay, here's the question, Brandon, because I hadn't done the research on this, have you seen a huge Asian one? Yeah? You see, there we go. That's why I'm like, yeah, yeah, Yeah, that's why. That's why I said, like even there there might be something to the studies of like like majority of black people have bigger dicks, but it's not across the board, and I think that's what any race like.

I mean, I've seen some white guys with like massive dicks. You're just like, how the same with whenever you see a white person with a fat ass, You're like, oh my god, like how it's you know, it's not it's not a one to one, it's not a complete rule. Yeah, it's like saying a norwall, what's that with the horn on it? Yeah, that's that whale with the horn. It is like, as soon as I said it, I felt like, either this is gonna kill or these niggas don't know normal.

But it's it's now, it's not mythical at all. I was talking about the one from ELF. That's the same thing, but that was real. Oh I know that. See we all learned something today. Yeah, look at that. Now. It's worth noting that the information that I told you is from a self report, right. That obviously makes the information

a little rocky. But part of what they argue with this is that a different research study published in the and I can't believe this is a real place, the International Journal of Impotence Research, in which the measurements were performed by trained researchers. This wasn't a self report. These

were researchers measuring penises. And this study, which was taken in Brazil, involved six d twenty seven men ages eighteen to eighty six, and they found that black participants had an average penis size of about six and a half inches, while white participants had an average penis size at about six point to two inches. So just shy of of the black penises. Interesting. I don't know what to make

of that, because Brazilian it's all crazy down there. And that's part of what they say with the ship is that like, while this does sort of affirm the the original ship, it also is specifically in Brazil. They're also only factoring for white and black people, and they they

aren't considering any of the other races. And if it's all in Brazil, maybe the brazil they just got big old dicks and they don't in other places, and they're super racially mixed, right, that's why they're so beautiful, right, because it's like, yeah, it's not as clearly, I think defined in terms of black and white, the way that our ship is brandon You you had I think an important question here. I was wondering, like, where where did the kind of obsession with or the important cynic size

come from. I mean maybe, but I think it's the white man. You don't see a lot of black cock colds, That's all I'm saying. Yet, Yet that's true. That's true equality when we start being into holding and then there's like a video for white guys, it's like breeder black guy. I do think, I do think to some extent, and this feels like the easy answer, but I think it's

very true. It's patriarchal, right, that like, it's a form of us creating power and or reducing power from another individual as a way of of essentially, you know, being able to to own more property in people and stuff. It's not it's not without its own weaponized intention. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I think that that is the smart, real answer.

I'm color commentary, Betty. One of the things that I actually stumbled upon in this that I did not expect to find was information about the differences between gay and straight dicks's that ended up somehow becoming part of the research that I bumped into, and in fact in researchers in the US found that gay men are likely to have an average dick size of six point three two inches when I wrecked, compared to five point nine nine

inches in straight men. Likewise, gay men were found to have penises at the average of point one five inches larger in circumference. WHOA, yeah, yeah, ya sat me. Good for you, Brandon, that's this is great for me happy.

It's like, I can't even understand, Yeah, what's the demographic of the game, Like do they like they oh my god, like as there are there as it a melting pot of different ethnic backgrounds of these gays, or it's just like these are some some gays over here and something dog the research happened in you know, damn well, this wasn't uh a warm melting pot of anything. This is those are six white dudes that they pulled off the street.

That's still that that that raises all kinds of questions because then maybe your your research is a little off because you've been out here in the valley of the huge dicks. These poor straight ladies they're over they're over play these ones, right, they're over here fucking five eight, you know what I mean, you know, five eight claiming five eleven and just like nah na no no. I also have wanted to say this as soon as I

found out that we were doing this. I think there goes to a level of people not having a good sense of spatial relation. I think that's what throws this all off. I mean, understanding the size of things and being able to eyeball the size of something without without a ruler is a skill that I don't think that most people have. Like I've done construction worked before, so that's the only reason that I feel like I can

even eyeball something. But I just I've met too many people I've met I guess more women than men, where they're like he has a six fo penis and you're like, how it's all am I And she's like seven four, and I'm like, you don't even know what you're talking about. Like I feel like that that had because we all converted into inches, But what is six inches off the

top of your head? Do you know? Like? And I don't think that is that common of a skill exactly exactly, So we all add this, like so many people have this thing, specifically with dicks. I've heard so many people swear to God, how big this dick is or this thing is, but it's like, you don't know how long the foot is? Yeah, no, my so, my daughter, we had to buy her new shoes just because kids grow, You get the concept. But she, uh, she you know, you see the shoes and you're like, that's a big

fucking shoe. My daughter's foot is is what like two inches? And then you measure and it's like, no, her foot is like four and a half inches, and she's you know what I mean, Like, I'm I'm not close at all to the correct size of what this body is doing, and I'm probably not more generous with my own body or more accurate with my own body. Wait, this is now giving me an identity crisis because I said, I said on a twelve inch tick, but I know it's

twelve in just because they told me. But can I rely on them if I can't tell, I can't have all it? And we always though they had an inch. Maybe it was like no, I mean you should still take wasn't the biggest dick you've ever seen? For sure? Yeah it can be twelve but but just know that that person made you a liar and uh and you gotta live with that on the inside. I live with that guilt on the inside. But I'm gonna tell you, yeah you are you were vacation. Yeah, yeah, you're sandals

Jamaic trying to take it. So. So the last thing that I think is worth mentioning in relation to the gay big penis of it all. It does introduce, at least to me, the possibility that that's another piece of information y'all should be bringing as evidence that you were born this way like this is you need to be laying that on the table, like come on, come on, if you don't think I was born this way, show me a dick, let me see. Damn. That would really

that would really push the conversation forward. I think. So we had to if it was had along those because a bunchet, cowardly straight men are not gonna pull their dicks out. We're really scared of taking our ship out. But y'all, I'm seen with gay clubs. Look like, y'all don't out in the clubs here. Yeah, and on the street you go to fullsom San Francisco had accident. We walked through the fulsom Street fan. You accidentally walked through the full how's going to the brainwash? It's on seventh

and full, So this doesn't matter. This matters. I was going to the brainwash on seventh and full sum to tell jokes, it was a weekly open mic shoutout Tony Sparks. I didn't know the culture of San Francisco yet it was along the same time. You're like, oh, the street fair. Let me walk in and show my I D and see what's going on. And then it was like and then you're like that that's a hard s prize. Meant San Franciscans get They get naked all the time, though,

Beta Breakers Pride are always taking it out. Like if you could take it out over there. I'm not saying just fly up there and take it out, but if there's like tvelry going on, you could probably get away with and yeah, become one with the culture and then take it out, don't just I was actually in San Francisco three weeks ago and I was at in a bar and we were like, it had like a patio, We're staying on the patio, and then suddenly I saw like a full on naked man walking across the street.

I took a videoo because I'm so shocked. And then he crossed the street. And then two more naked men And this is at like one in the afternoon, and then and I don't know where they were going, but they were fully nude and and no one was stopping them. So it wasn't like Castro. Yeah, so it's not that it's so this is how I've understood it, because I remember this was a big deal. It's not that it's not illegal. It's like even like in the wire how

they had the open air drug market. It's like that for Dickson the Castro, Like you can't nobody's gonna prosecute you for like within that neighborhood, you're allowed to do that. Yeah, there's a rule in New York City that you can't take it for women, you can't take your top off in public, but if you leave your house with your shirt off, you could just be titties out all day anywhere you want to be interesting. Yeah, so it feels

like one of those loophole type ships. Yeah, my dick has been out this whole time, So let these good luck coppers I get on the street and take it out but if I come out with it, you know what I was on today. I just couldn't walk out naked like that because I feel like there would be a moment where I'm like, I wish I had clothes on, you know, like there would just be a moment in your day where you're like, I just I feel seen,

And yeah, I don't want to at all. I think it's probably fun at funk when you're like walking through a park, when you're like hanging out somewhere or whatever the funk. But when you gotta like go to Walgreen and decide between like which which contact solution to buy and you're just asked maggy, you probably feel like an idiot. That's it exactly. Are like you're in there going to get some chips for your super Bowl party, Dick all on the doritos? Do I want scoops or traditional? Hi

is just resting on that shitty salt. So they also refrigerate that sal animals. That's the real takeaway. REFERRF now that is the same faster, that's the originals from the beginning. He's like, he's like, you give some dick back also refrigerator. Well, I think we did it y'all. I think I think we nailed this. This This feels like we we fucking covered the ship out of it. Brandon, could you tell the people at home where they can find on you

and what cool ship you have going on? Yeah? For sure, they can find me on Instagram at Brandon how good man? That'll take it everywhere? Else? Uh, big mouth? I don't know this drops a big Mouth season six October. And also my book you gotta be you available everywhere. Just support your local bookstores if you can. Hell, yeah, go go buy the book. Watch big mouth Brandon is great and and boy, you want to tell people everywhere they can get to you? Cool guy jokes seven on Instagram.

I take you everything. I got some stand up dates coming. I also say, support your local book story. We won't. Don't let Walden in in all these other big book chains. Get your money. Shout out to the tattered cover and how right it's impressive. Well, well, I'll say let's get Barnes and Noble back, baby, those local book stories. I want borders back in business. Bring borders back in the day the little c miss big corporations that couldn't survive

on their own. Bail them out. Bail them out. You can follow me at Langston Kermit on on whatever platforms, and as always, if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, If you want to tell us how big your penis is, please send it to my Mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you. Okay, that's it, Bye, bitch. Why are you on? Something's going on? Can I smell you? Dick my crop chips in your mails? Quali bears are racists? Money stuff? I can't tell me