Summer is the season of beach reads and romantic comedies, and we've got the perfect listen to match. From unexpected sparks to unforgettable first impressions. Today, on the best of my legacy, we are sharing the meet cutes that turned into forever.
You know, we all love love stories and we all want to hear every detail.
I looked at him and I gave him that I energy, like I need you to come over here, and he came over.
He got my number.
Not everybody is like love at first sight. It's more like you get to know each other and then maybe we should.
Do This is gonna be five minutes and I am out of here, you know, Like this is you know, I definitely need to school this man. Like you know, I.
Remember seeing Ribby and thinking she's the most beautiful woman in the world, and I thought no, no, no, focus, focus, focus to become Among.
Host Smart and Luther King the Third and Andrea Waters, King, Mark Kilberger, and Craig Kilberger get a front row seat to real life rom coms and masterclasses and vulnerability timing and the courage to keep choosing each other. First up, Jamel Hill proves that when it comes to love. Confidence is the ultimate strategy.
You know, we all love love stories and we all want to hear every detail. But Jamil, can you tell us how you all story began? The two of you?
Well, I'm sure you asked this question enough to know that when you're speaking with a couple, both people have different versions of how.
This actually has the truth. Tell the truth, yes, amen, Yes it's true.
And somehow it feels like when men tell their side of the story. It's also grossly embellished on a lot of accounts.
So this was twenty fourteen.
I was still at ESPN and I had a daily sports discussion show called Numbers Never Lie. And I came back to Michigan State where I went to school. My husband also went to Michigan State as well, but we went at different times.
They asked me to be the homecoming.
Ambassador, if you will, like, so I had to go back be in the parade, you know, do all those that kind of homecoming stuff.
And so I went back there.
The show came there as well, just as a support thing, and so you know, I was on campus for the weekend and going around to different tailgates. This is game Day, went to a tailgate It was the Black Alumni tailgate, one of my favorite tailgates to go to when I go to a Michigan State football game, and I was there talking to someone. It was actually and it turned out to be a friend of my husband's and I didn't even know him then, and I was talking to
him when my husband came up. And as soon as he came up and started talking to his friend, I immediately noticed he's fine.
So like, I'm not gonna lie like it was like, officially.
I loved you, and smile.
He's not saying anything. He's just sitting there smiling.
So far, so far? Okay, do I have this correct? All right? So I was like, he's fine, Where did he come from? I'm gonna continue this conversation.
So the three of us started to talk and there was definitely some flirty eye energy between me and my husband. I just sort of left things there because I had other homecoming duties that I had to do and I did not expect to see him again.
Well, fast forward to a few hours later.
Misch could say Black Alumni they host the big party for homecoming weekend. I went to the party and sure enough, I'm at the party. I look across the dance floor and my husband is standing right there, and I was like, oh, the fine guy from the dailgate. You know, so I energy this is this is just a little aside, a pro tip for ladies out there. I energy works. You send the right eye energy, the right body language. You can just bring them on to you.
Okay.
So I looked at him and I gave him that I energy like, I need you to come over here.
And he came over.
He got my number, and the rest, as they say, is history. More importantly too, pro tip for men who are listening. He called me the next day. It wasn't like he waited. He didn't, you know, hold it out for a week to try to see you know, you know, play it cool.
He didn't.
He called me the next day. Eye energy, yep ie energy.
And when you see something, say something right. So, in other words, call the next day. Don't don't play a follow up. Don't let her forget you up. There's no need to play games with the grown woman.
No, and so, babe, did I get that right?
Mostly true?
You forgot to mention love at first sight, not for me, for her.
Saying it's always he always got to put a little Extra on.
It Coming Up, America's doctor Sanje Gupta and his wife Rebecca Gupta show us that real love is built on small, everyday gestures and co hosts Martin and Araria. I feel how their relationship almost ended before it even began.
Now back to my legacy, we're back.
Could you share the story of how you all met and in a twenty something Sanjay, when he was in medical school and you were in law school.
It's kind of funny, so, I mean, it's a little embarrassing. We met through a mutual friend at you know what, You're in college and your social time is often spent like at bars, and so we were at a bar and somebody knew us. Both was like, hey, you know, you got to meet, and that's how we met. And it took a while from there. We were just friends. It took a while from there before we started dating
and that kind of thing. But that's more typical to college, I think, and more typical to a lot of relationships people. Not everybody is like love at first sight. It's more like you get to know each other and then we should do I wasn't love it.
I feel like I was just insulted.
Bet you have some analytics. So are those who are friends first that science.
Well, I don't know. In my anecdotal case of one, it worked out all right.
For you.
Pretty pretty high on that scale. Yeah, so much higher than hers to me.
Yeah, Actually, it's interesting. I mean, I think I don't have the like the statistics or anything to back me up on this, but I think men tend to have more visual like when they're attracted, and women are more intellectual.
So did you see them you're shaking shaken to what he's trying.
Look, I think the way you interpret that COMMI we are either smart nor good looking?
You were romantic? Or like, what's what's your demeanor when you guys want to have a chance to connect?
Yeah, probably more of the romantic.
I love, look.
At I think I'm pretty romantic. I think definitely more procedural, like in the sense that let's make a plan, you know, and so. But I don't know, does that is that at odds with romanticism? I don't know.
An interesting question.
But one of the things he does do that that's romantic. But I think it's towards our whole family is in the mornings when he has to get up and go before the rest of us. You always kind of will leave the lights on and some music playing. Sometimes, you know, he'll turn the coffee pot on, or like if it's cold, he'll turn the fireplace on, which is nice to come down to in the morning.
I start my start cars for people and when it's cold, you know.
Because that's an old like because we're from Michigan, that's an old Michigan like seeing and our kids are like, why are you starting to used to be really cold?
I love that, I think because I was thinking about this in anticipation of this interview. By the way, people don't get to have nice conversations like this enough. I just I'll just throw that in there, like it's funny. We talk all the time, Rebecca and I, and yet we probably don't really have conversations like this. But I think, oh,
let me just say what. I think that the the idea that there's a lot of mutual respect for each other, Like I think that that that ingredient more than maybe any other, the the love at first sight, the intellectualism, all of that mutual respect, genuine respect, I think is the key. And also coupled with that is the idea that I never question she has my best interests in mind. I think when you have interactions with people in your life,
you do wonder they're competing interests. Sometimes with EI, they're telling you what they're telling you, or and and and that's okay, that's that's not a criticism, that's life. But I think when you have a partner who you don't ever question that they have your best interest in mind, that's a really powerful thing. And it's hard to find. It's hard to find, and if you find it, you hang on to it.
I couldn't be prouder to be alongside with all of you on this incredible journey. And for those listeners or viewers who haven't had a chance to get to know you as well as we have, could one of you or both of you perhaps tell us a little bit the story you or the backstory of how you guys met.
Well, we were actually introduced on a blind date.
I was able to see pretty well.
Actually, there were two people that were out and they met each other and they suggested that we meet each other. So we we're giving each other's phone numbers. We talked on the phone for a few times and we agreed that we were going to meet, and the day and time that we had set. Let me say it was one o'clock. You know, one o'clock came and went, Martin, wasn't there?
You know?
One o five came and went, Martin wasn't there? Hopefully, I I went past one ten, and by by one ten I was living and I was like, well, but I knew that for some reason, I knew that he would call because we had such great conversations. Yes, I also, though, had made the decision that he had absolutely one thousand percent no chance of us ever meeting, dating, or connecting. Period. What happened, well, then about one fifteen is a friend who had been on some of the calls called and said,
I'm so sorry. Martin was called out of town on an emergency and I was supposed to call earlier and I'm so sorry, and Ken, you know, can can you reschedule? I said sure? So he said, okay, well he'll pick you up next you know, you know, Saturday X amount of time. I said, oh no, that's okay. We could meet because by this time I had made the decision that I was going to meet him so I can look him in his eyes, tell him off, tell him,
this is not how you treat a lady. I felt at this point like this was a mission for all female kind, for whom because at this point he had no absolutely chance with me. But I felt the need to make sure that whatever lady comes next then that he would know how to treat them.
Wow.
Okay, well there's more the story, and I'm not sure where to interject. Should I interject? Well, I was actually called a way oftentimes in the in the civil rights community, events occur and it's almost like crisis prevention. I'm not suggesting I was gonna avert a crisis. I don't know where I was called, but I was called out of town and it was like, okay, something happened, and then.
So you're gonna go save save the world. That my part exactly.
Okay.
Then the interesting thing about it is I never learned that she did not know until maybe eight nine months later.
So so okay, well take us to the second meeting.
Then.
So the second meeting occurred on a Saturday date maybe a week later, and we arrived we as complicated. I'll just say, the person who works with me, who's one of my protectors, one of.
My team, I did.
You're just digging here.
So I we arrived and he went in to survey.
Was the word you're gonna use here, Martin, because you're in big trouble.
Let's see. But long and short.
I wanted to make sure she was there.
That's right, that's exactly. And so then I came in and we went to a table and we talked I don't know, an hour and a half and it was great. She did not mention one time at that time that you know, you know, Fiel didn't call me. So the conversation was, I guess intriguing.
So first sight, Uh those by the way, if I'm introduct who are not watching, but listen to the podcast. He's holding her hand.
Right.
It was love and long sight. It was going to be long, long, long, long, but she she was just so amazing. She first of all, she's she was beautiful. Then she's even more beautiful. Now you want to tell.
You your well when Phil came in and then the advanced man, the advanced man came in and went back out. I was like, oh no, he's really Oh yeah, he's parking the car and he went back he was like checking down, Yes, I did. Okay, everyone, so then I was like, oh, yeah, no, this is going to be five minutes and I am out of here. You know, like this is you know, I definitely need to school this man. Like, you know, you.
Should brought both him, Martin and Phil together and you could have schooled them together.
Oh yeah, that was the intention. They were going to the woods. Oh yeah, and h Interestingly enough, when when Martin came in, there was just this immediate anyone who's ever been in Martin's presence or met Martin that they can attest to just this extraordinary love and light that emanates from him, which actually, frankly, I wasn't expecting, and that is what I guess disarmed me. And then I very quickly realized that this truly is one of the best men that I had ever met. So his heart saved him.
Wow, this, but I just knew that we had had We've had amazing conversations and a great conversation, a great experience at the first meeting.
So what do you love most about your amazing wife?
What I love most about her is her her passion for interpreting what you know whenever I well, let's that's a lot. That's a loaded question. By the way. But let me just say this, there's not one specific thing that I love most. I love the fact that every day she wakes up and the main thing is, regardless of what we're going through and what's going on in the world, and there are times when we all don't want to do things, she always does the right thing,
not sometimes always. I don't want to explain that anymore, but I will explain it to you all.
Oh my goodness, his heart. He truly leads and lives in the world with his heart. And I remember once the comedian did Gregory when he was introducing Martin, talked about how he said, you know, this man walks in love and that is that is Martin, and it's that way on stage, off stage, at home. And also his humor. He's extremely funny.
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Now back to My Legacy.
So the interesting thing is the first episode of my podcast on Purpose ever was me and Rady telling this story together, and I always wanted to start the show at a really authentic, genuine, conscious place, and I thought, why not do it the person who knows me best and knows me most deeply. And so the long story, short version is I was in my final year of college and I knew that I was going to become a monk after I graduated, and I would go to my local temple to serve and assist on the weekends
just to stay out of trouble. And when I was doing that service, I was asked to show a woman around who was around my mom's age, with different chores and different practices at the temple. I'd never been asked to do this before. This was the first time I showed her around. She was very sweet, and then at the end of it, she said to me, I had a daughter that I'd love to introduce to spirituality and meditation.
And I said, well, I'm going to become a monk, so I can introduce her to my younger sister who's also involved in the community, and why don't you bring her in? And so you know, that week she brought her in and it happened to be my wife's mom and Raley was her daughter who came in and I introduced Radi and my sister, and I remember seeing Rady and thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the world. And I thought, no, no, no focus, focus, focussing to become a monk, and so I kind of like shut
it out. And then when I came back from the monastery, Radi and my sister had become best friends, and so my sister was our matchmakers. So that's how we met.
So Radi, I'm very, very curious. So you're at a temple and you see this wonderful human being that was training to be a monk, and what was going through your mind when you first when you first met him.
That's a really good question, you know, I he was in like, he was in white robes at the time, weren't you. Yeah, he was training to be a monk. He was in white robes. He knew my mom. It
was like a very odd situation. My mom was introducing us, and so when I saw him, it was it was interesting because he had like tattoos in monk clothes, was a very like, well spoken person, where normally, in my mind, a monk was someone who was from India and I, you know, usually would have to speak to them in another language, and so it was kind of changing a lot of narratives in my mind of what I expected
to see. When my mum was like, Oh, I want to introduce you to this monk, so I think I was readjusting to my expectations.
And then I mean I.
Started going to his classes and hearing him speak about spirituality, and honestly, I think I felt in awe of him through watching him in those spaces and in the community, and you know, I ended up being an observer of him rather than a friend at the beginning, because we didn't really have a friendship or a relationship at all when we first met. So it was quite nice seeing him in his own environment doing something that he loved.
And so at first it was almost like he had He felt like a teacher and a guide more than he felt like someone that I was thinking I could
be with. But then when I became friends with his sister and she kept telling me all these amazing things about him, I was like, Oh, he's so sweet, and they have the sweetest relationship he you know, he is like a father figure to her and she loves him so much, and I thought, well, someone who's got that relationship with their sister, and usually your sibling has the
best and worst things to say about you. And she just loved him so much, and so there was moments where you know, I kept saying to I was like, you know, I think I really like your brother, and she was like, you can't. He's going to be a monk for the rest of his life. Leave him alone. She was like, I need you to leave him, Please leave Yeah, please, I'm just telling you he wants to be a monk forever. So yeah, I kind of gave
up on that idea. And so as soon as he came out from being a monk and we got to know each other, we both just realized how how right we ended up being about each other, as he said, and it was a nice surprise because it could have gone both ways.
You know, I love that, she said, fell in ahe I want to ask you both, what simple thing does your partner do to show that they love you.
For me, the biggest one is I think when we first got married and we moved to New York and then we were kind of there for a couple of years, then moving to la and We've just been through so much change, and change that wasn't anticipating or expected, so changed that we both had planned to live our whole lives fifteen minutes from our local temple in England and
five minutes away from Radi's parents home. And actually that was one of her requirements for us getting married, was that she could be a one mile radius away from her parents' home. And I'd committed to that, and I genuinely had committed to that. It was something that I thought was very real. All of our friends are in
that area, families in that area. It made sense. And then all of a sudden, my career took a turn in twenty sixteen when this part of my life started to grow and it's continued to for the nine years, thankfully. And if I'm completely honest, that was completely not part of the plan, not my plan, not her plan, not our plan, but it was what I couldn't even have dreamed of. And not once in the last nine years as Radi ever said to me, look what I gave up for you, And oh God, I could cry saying this,
but it's one of those things. It's like I know how much her parents mean to her now much her family friends mean to her. I know how much London means to her, and for her to move away, for her to give that up when we didn't have clarity, like you know, we're very fortunate today to have a wonderful life, but getting here wasn't easy. I was away a lot, I traveled a lot for work, I was building things, moving around. And never once did she say, I gave this all up for you. You're never around,
you work too hard. And I think that kind of trust, without nagging, without making someone feel bad, when I was already carrying the burden of it myself, And I think that's the feeling that makes you feel loved where you're like, I was already feeling that way myself. So if she would have said it to me, probably would broken me. But the fact that she didn't feel that she had to say it to me makes me feel love. So not blaming, not shaming, not pushing, not prodding is is.
It feels like a small thing, but actually it's huge. And even at the most difficult times in our life, whether we were financially struggling, you know, struggling with moving, changing, whatever things were going on in our life, every time i'd update her on what would happen, she'd always say, I trust you, And hearing your partner say that when you don't even know what's going to happen next is
the greatest sign of love. And so and and you know, she radly decided to date me and commit to a relationship with me when I had nothing to offer about myself,
and so that's a pretty big thing. She could have married anyone she wanted to marry, and so her decision to be with someone who didn't have a even a secure job when I first started dating, and you know, someone who'd been in the monastery for three years and didn't have any sort of savings or any sort of plan, I think it shows her character and her ability to you know, go beyond material things. And the more recent one, I mean, I could go on as well.
I think the more recently shedn't need to get one.
Radi's never let me define my self worth based on my success. So when I first started to experience success, Radi didn't celebrate it in the way I wanted her to. And I would want. Look, I'd wanted my wife to be my number one fan and my biggest cheerleader and she wasn't for my career. But I had to realize if I skewed my perspective, she was for who I was. So if it came to my character, that's what she was backing. She wasn't backing me because of my career,
and that took me. That helped me detach from valuing myself based on the success of my career because I think that's what I would have done and what I would have wanted if she had fallen in that way. And so her lack of validation for my career was the greatest validation for.
Caring great.
But I think it's a cut and again going back to the men point, I think a lot of men like we want our partners to be like front row. We want them to be the cheerleader, like we've we've got that culture. And I'm not saying that my wife isn't my cheerleader that, but I'm saying, your wife's cheerleading
your character, not your career. That's better because the career is up and down, Like the career is going to do whatever it's going to do, But your characters who you are, like, what do you want to be loved for? Do you want to be loved for the amount of followers you have, or do you want to be loved for who you are and how you show up and
what she believes you represent. And so I think it's genuinely we're laughing about it, and it can have funny connotations, but I want to clarify, Like the point is, I think we all want to be loved for who we are and not loved for what we achieve.
I did start listening to your podcast last year.
Thank you for joining us for the best of my legacy. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss a moment.