My Amazing Driver's Test (S04E04)

Music. Valet de... Valet de... Valet de Caro.

Jack of Diamonds. Who does the Jack of Diamonds think he is? Threatening me? He's going to steal my great-grandmother's diamond? I think he thinks he's the world's greatest international jewel thief and more than a match for any superhero out there. Maybe, but I'm Millionaire Man. Cue music. Maybe check the vault first. I still think you're worrying for no reason, Penny. The number four vault is impregnable. Um, we're not worried about anyone getting pregnant. We're worried about getting robbed.

Impregnable means... never mind. First, they'd have to get past these motion-activated sensors. Next, they'd have to work through these laser beams without breaking electric eye contact. Then, they'd either have to wait for the inert gas in the vault to be replaced by oxygen, or have some sort of gas mask. Then they'd have to put in the authorization code to allow them to unlock the vault. Then they'd have to put in the actual unlock code.

Then they'd have to click the right pictures on the I am not a robot screen. Then they would need your fingerprint. Right here, sir. Oh, yes, sorry. And your retina scan. I hate looking into this thing. Please, ma'am. Fine. And then, they would need to wait for this three-ton steel door to open. Music.

So, you see... It's gone! My emerald is gone! It's okay. You told me you didn't like that thing anyway. I didn't! It's ugly, ostentatious and huge, but it was mine! And the diamond is gone, too. But he left a playing card. A weird one. It has a V on it. Four valets. Valet de carreau. Jack of diamonds in French. Oh, yeah, right. He left a note, too. In French? No, English. Thank heaven. It says, tell Red Light I'm coming to her town next. For what? To steal jewels, Steve.

That would make sense. Billionaire man! Music.

Your test results are back. And I'm happy to say there are no traces of damage from that radiation you encountered. This is a good thing. There are horses that wish they were as healthy as you. Um, thank you. As to that other matter you asked me to look into, your eggs are apparently as invulnerable as you are. This unfortunately is not a good thing, because it means... I can't get pregnant.

Not as it stands right now, no. But I have a theory that a device using a targeted, focused version of the anivator beam would render your eggs vulnerable enough to be fertilized without ruining their viability. Really, Dr. Johnson? Yes. I'm very hopeful that this will produce the outcome you're seeking. But there is an issue. What's the issue? Since this doesn't have anything to do with your activities as Amazing Woman, this doesn't fall under the purview of whales.

This means that the research and the development of the device would have to come out of your pocket. Okay. Do you have any idea how much that would be? We cannot, of course, know the total final cost until we finish. But I estimate that we would need approximately this much. Oh. I'm not sure what you do in your civilian life, but you might want to look into a side hustle. Okay. Thank you, Dr. Johnson. Tell Foxy, I mean Fanta, that I said hello. I will. Shut up. I do wish she'd use the door.

Music.

Go on in, Madison. Thank you, Olive. Still feels odd calling her by that name. Not as odd as you're coming to my office. And a cheery good morning to you two? By the way, have you noticed how she's been dressing lately? Well, she still wears a lot of purple and those mirrored sunglasses are hers, but you know what? Yeah, she is dressing a bit more, well... You. That is to say, fabulously fashionable. Anyway, what brings you to my office? Didn't get enough of me at breakfast?

I had enough of you before Kitty Cat ever met you. First, before I say anything else, if I pay you money, you're my attorney and this conversation is confidential, correct? Assuming I accept it, yes. That's how law in the United States works. Good. Here's some money. Do you know how much this is? No, I don't. Uh, would you like a receipt, or- No, I wouldn't. Okay, okay. I'm your lawyer. What do you need? A secret divorce? A prenuptial agreement?

I've never been married. And since Greg is independently wealthy, as am I, there's really no point to a prenuptial agreement. Wait, you're what? Another time, counsellor? Fine, but what do you need me for? To hang on to this until Greg and I divorce. That's not terribly hopeful. But terribly reasonable. You know that half the marriages here end in divorce. And the other half end in death. I try not to think about either. Anyway, here. A notebook. Not just a notebook.

The notebook. Your book of men? You mean Anna Cat wasn't exaggerating about that? No, she wasn't. I did it analogue to keep Greg and other Snoopy technical types out of my business. Anyway, I hope you never have to return it to me, but the main purpose in hiring you specifically is that I don't want Anna Banana to know I still have it. Why? She believes in marriage and true love and all of that. If she knew I still had it, I'd never hear the end of it. You have a point. And, aw.

I'm honestly surprised you're not giving me more grief about this. I figured you're as sappy about marriage as she is. I am, sort of, but I'm also a lawyer. We get to see that 50% you mention all the time. I know marriage is not for everyone, and it might help Arch if he knew that. Music. Message on Madison's voicemail. But I figured I would call you to make sure she got the message. I'll let her know. Tell her to be careful. That guy is tricky. What are you reading, anyway? How did you see...

The video call. Anyway, Penny, it's a driver's manual. Really? I thought you knew how to drive. I do. But I want to get an endorsement to drive limousines and party buses. So I'm studying. Again. Again? Yeah. You only get three chances at it before you have to wait a year to try again. And I already blew one by leaving the written test to save some firefighters from a burning building. So why do you want to drive a party bus? I mean, I know why you'd want to be on one, but driving them?

That sounds much less fun. I'm trying to earn some extra money for a side project. What side project? The one I told you I was doing with Fanta's mom. Oh, okay. Yeah. You know, I could just... No. You'd have to explain to Steve and it might get back to you-know-who. I don't know who. That's kind of the point. Anyway, when you're done with the book, if you could send it to me, I'd appreciate it. Okay. Hi, honey. I'm home. Guys, I have to go. So, how was your day? It was fine.

I spent the morning driving and the afternoon studying for my driving test. You make decent money driving rideshare. Why do you want to drive limousines and party buses? I need money for my side project. And I could get what I need faster if I drive jobs that pay more. Hmm. What's your side project anyway? I want to remodel the second bedroom. For real this time. Don't tell me that Olive actually sings. Sometimes. Huh. Maybe she's been wearing her stage outfits to work.

Could be. Why do you say that? Music. For those of you whose first time it is taking this test, please understand that you do not take the road test until you have passed the written test. Also, please remember that you only get three chances at this before you have to wait a year to try again. Please silence all cell phones and other electronic devices. This is a time test. I'm sorry. I have to take this. Strike two, Mrs. Waring. Yes, I know. Sorry. I know.

This is a time test. You will have 60 minutes to complete all questions. Music.

No offense, but you are not the one I am interested in. Be that as it may, I don't let people steal jewels around here. Perhaps, but you do let them get away. Once you saw me, now you do not. But I can hear you. Not anymore. Music. Au revoir. He's getting away. Let me clear the air. Thank goodness someone turned that off. But I don't hear him or see him anywhere. Would you let me loose? Sorry, sure. He gave me this to give to Red Light. La Lumière Rouge. I don't think she'll mind if I read it.

And it's all in French. I'll take a picture of it and send it to her. I suspect her French isn't as rusty as mine. If what the guy wanted was a date, he should just use a dating app. Music.

So, we'll meet them on the golf course at 7, Trevor. Trevor? Trevor! Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, 7 a.m., got it. What are you reading that has you that engrossed? Just a memoir from a client. It's part romance novel, part spy thriller, and part situation comedy. Sounds like it'd make a great movie. More like a miniseries. But for now, it's just for my client's purposes. Well, if they ever want to try to pitch it, just let Suwa know.

I'm sure she can get an option for a lot of money. I'll advise my client, but the money won't be a factor. Must be nice. Anyway, I have to go. Remember, you have a consultation at three, and I need to leave at four for my volunteer work. Right. Let me close this. The Valais de Corot is in town, and we've raised the threat level. The... Jack of Diamonds, Jacques Martin, an international jewel thief. Did you say Jacques Martin? I did. Why? Hang on.

I've been reading Madison's book. Trevor. And there's a section in the back on pink paper, and the guy in it is named Jock Martin. What's the significance of the pink paper? Everything she writes about what she did with him. She always says she was red light, never Madison. That puts the note from Penny and Millionaire Man in a different light. Pardon the pun. Speaking of Steve and Penny, would you get one of them on the phone for me? I need to ask them a favor. Music.

Relax. I will. Right after I pass the test. It's not good for you to get this worked up about it. I'm down to my last chance, and I don't want to wait an entire year to try again. I get that. But why is it so important that you need to get these higher-paying jobs? This remodeling of the room is going to cost a lot of money, and it may not even work. Wait, what? I will explain. I promise. Just not right now. And there goes Lenny again.

I don't know if I could take any more. Let me go talk to him. Hey, Lenny, would you stop for a second? Hi, Trevor. What's up? Anna Cat's blood pressure. What? Let me explain. Anna Cat is studying for her big driving test right now. I thought she already knew how to drive. She does. This is for her to drive larger vehicles. Oh, I see. Anyway, she's really stressing herself out over this. That's not good. No, it's not. And she's also stressing out over your hammering. Oh, okay.

I get it. If you would just hold off building whatever this is until tomorrow night, I'd appreciate it. Her test is tomorrow, and one way or another, it'll be over by then. Sure thing. What is this, by the way? It's a multifamily birdhouse. Oh, looks pretty neat. Thank you. Doesn't Kelly mind the hammering? Not at all. Mostly because she's not in there. Really? Yeah. She's out of town. She's out of town a lot. In fact, now that I think about it, I can't remember the last time I actually saw her.

I'm sure you've seen her. Well, let me go check on birdseed prices. You might be sure, but I'm not. Music. Wondering why I called you all here. I certainly am. I am a bit curious myself. Quit talking like an old movie and tell us what's up. Okay, okay. Aniket is trying to pass the test, and she keeps getting interrupted by emergencies, most recently by the Jack of Diamonds. So when she left for the test this morning, I took her phone. Trevor!

I'm trying to help, but just in case something happens and that super hearing of hers kicks in, I'd like you guys to cover the city until her test is over. That is awfully sweet of you. Who are you and what'd you do with Madison? We figure the most likely places for the Valais de Corot to strike will be here, here, and here. Oh, Penny and I can take this one. Hopefully I can get my emerald back. I'll take here. Greg, let me take that one and you go over here. Aha.

Aha what? Nothing. Never mind. Wales appreciates your assistance in this. Did she say why she was taking the test? No, not to me. Why are you looking at me? Did she leave the driver's book? Steve! What? She said I could borrow it. Music.

Zara? Oh, la vache. Foie gras. What? I didn't want to be left out. Get him! I don't think so, my petite ami. Ah! Oh, that's so bright, I can't see! It's rather pretty, though, in a gout-your-eyes-out sort of way. Oh, Special Agent, we had him, but we lost him. So we're at the team. Music. At yet another swanky jewelry store. Finalement. It's good to see you, Red Light. It's good to see you too, Valet. Call me Jacques. I probably shouldn't. Not anymore. You have some waduit? Oui, c'est vrai.

Can we do this in English? My French has deteriorated since last time we met. The rest of you has not. Oh, thank you. Je vous entre. You're not really here to steal anything, are you? No, Steve's diamond here and the same board should keep me out of action for at least a year. Very pretty. I have something to tell you. You have someone too. You have always been good at raiding people. I did not want you to find out from someone else. I do appreciate that.

You know, I thought about giving up being a hero for you. Music. And I thought about giving up being a thief for you. Another life, mon cher. Au revoir. You didn't need to do that. I wasn't going to chase you. Amulet, sunglasses. Music.

Swanky jewelry store. We're almost done, Mrs. Waring. Wait, is that a man pointing a gun at us? Yes. Should I stop? Unless you'd rather be shot, yes. But what about the test? If you keep us alive, I'll give you an A+. The airboat, vite! Go ahead. You're bouncing him around back there. That's the idea. The police station? That's right. You did say the airport. Music. So, Penny got her emerald back, but Olive confiscated Steve's family diamond.

Why? She said it was one of the magic gems she's been looking for. If it's magic, it would explain why he always seems to make out in the end. If that's the case, then that's some seriously powerful magic. I'm just happy you passed the test. The instructor gave me high marks for my creative, evasive driving maneuvers. Did you help the car along? Maybe a little bit. But it was mostly driving. Well, congratulations. And are you ever going to tell me about what this special project really is?

Yes, but not until I know if it's a good surprise or a bad one. Would you trust me for just a little while longer? I'll trust you to the end of the Earth. Hopefully it won't take that long. Music. Good morning, Arch. Good morning, Trevor. Are you ready for the... What in the world? Is that Olive? What's the matter? You act like you've never seen a woman before I think I need to talk to HR I'll talk to her in my office You do that. Music.

To Season 4, Episode 4 of My Amazing Woman, titled My Amazing Driver's Test, starring A.J.

Cruz as Trevor and Lena Garcia as Anna Cat, guest starring Joshua Nicholson as Millionaire Man, Diana Helen Kennedy as Penny the Coin Wonder, and Jacob Slatter as the Valet de Carreau, featuring Zoe Flack as Madison, Frank Guglielmoly as Lenny, Nicole Mihirol as Olive, Ken Halloran as Craig, and David Robbins as Arch, with Dylan Howard as the first guard, Numa Joy as Dr. Ida Johnson, Tosada Fujinami as the driving instructor, Rick Steele as the second guard and James C. Taylor as your narrator.

This episode was produced and scripted by James from a story by Nicole. It was voice directed by Nicole with dialogue editing, sound mastering, and original music by James. Sound effects are from freesound.org. This is a production of HeyDaddyO Audio in affiliation with Time Well Electronic Recording Productions. Copyright 2025 by James C. Taylor. All rights reserved.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, events, and incidents are the products of the author's peculiar imagination. And a resemblance to actual persons living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental. Music. Sergeant O'Leary here. What do you mean the valet isn't in holding anymore?