Congo (Justice for Laura Linney!)

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Welcome to the mummy dearest podcast, a podcast where we used to talk about the money, but now we talk about other movies too.

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Welcome back to the mummy dearest podcast, where we unwrap pop culture from the nineties, two thousands. And today I am Zach Mellon . All right . That was good. That was really good. So before we get started with anything, I just want to make a proclamation and say that Danielle Staab is one of the most frightening people in the, on this earth. I think, I think she's one of the most frightening humans and I don't, I'm not saying she's about a person or like a good person.

Molly, I hadn't been there. Did you just , are you saying that because you saw the real eye posts ?

I saw that I saw a few people posted it, but I was like, I didn't watch any of them. Cause I didn't know what was going on. But then when you posted it , I was like, okay, clearly something is happening.

You needed to like sit up and pay attention. I was like, shut up and listen.

Yeah. Like pay attention, police , pay

Attention.

I'm just going to edit her in there. Obviously I have like, I kind of want to make a proclamation to , okay. I don't know if it's a proclamation. It's more. Well, it's just something like we talked about the other day we discussed , uh, forging friendships, friendships forged in fire.

Did we talk about it on the podcast or via text?

Well, our tax, but we call that the podcast. It's our private podcast where we text to each other voice notes . So it's like a podcast. It's a cute, it's cute. But like, it's really weird. Sometimes I get like really aware of what we're doing. And I'm like, this is a podcast because like, I feel like we're just two friends having a conversation. Like we're not, we're not trying to do like bits. We're just talking.

Well , we're not doing bits that we don't plan any. We literally don't plan anything. And I have such, and I , I said this to you via text. I believe that like, I get so intense about people that I want to be friends with. Like if I get, I will meet someone and get an immediate vibe . Like if I want to be friends with you, one, it means that I want to be like deep friends with you. It means that like, if I'm going to be friends with you, we're going to be friends.

We're not going to like talk occasionally. Like it's going to be apt to know everything. I asked you for photos of family so I could use it against the situation. And I understood

Why I understood why you wanted them. And I was like, yeah, here they are. And the thing is , is like, I also got no questions asked. I just went to Instagram, search for pictures and sent them. And I also get a vibe. Like I also get the same feeling in the opposite reaction of like, if I don't want anything to do with you, I get a very strong and uncomfortable feeling. It's because of our water signs. Right. That's what you said last week . Yeah. Right.

Just either I'm zero or a hundred. I don't do fish . I'm just saying don't either .

I don't either. I am either like your very close friend or I'm just nice to you or pass each other in the streets.

I won't even like , I know

A lot of people think that I'm like not a nice person,

But it's just ,

I know, I know. I know. It's like in my mind, I just can't be nice . Like I don't mean to be mean sometimes it's just like, if I don't love and care for you deeply, then it's hard for my brain to even function like on how to be nice.

I'm the opposite in that if I love and care about you, I'll be have a sip of my water. Is that water in a McDonald's extra, extra, large supersize from the nineties that you just don't even wash out because they don't legally, they legally can't sell them anymore. Yeah . Is that a McDonald's monopolies game piece? I saw sign . I wish now those things are so fun to appeal

Every time they Donald's , I would be like, well, it's a monopoly. Like we, we have,

I literally have to go to McDonald's. We need, as you know, I would request shush one Shaw that did not exist. And I got my monopoly. Okay. But like going back to the friendship thing, let me just say that if I am mean to you or I've ever been mean to you, it's because I feel very close to you and I love you. Like Zach , one day that's different. That's different

Type of mean that's different. Cause yeah, I mean to my friends, but on a very loving level, like I can be there. I have two different means, I guess. I guess when I say like, mean, I might just like ignore someone or like not listen to them speak, but it's because my brain can't compute how to be caring to someone that I don't love.

I'm such a people pleaser. So I don't, I can't hear what nice people that love me are saying to me. I only hear strangers speaking.

I got that . Yeah. I , I , I aye ,

But you've once you've worked in retail long enough, you just kind of hate everybody. It's just like, that's just what retail does

A really good job of going like yeah. Yeah. Oh gosh. Yeah, of course. Oh my God. That's so funny. Oh my gosh. No. Oh my God. You're crazy. Oh my God. No, this will go perfect for that. Perfect.

Perfect. I love yes. No, you look so not, not bad in that . Well, anyway, I just want to, like, I want to put out into the universe a friendship. I want to have a friendship. You got a friendship with me. Bye bye . For forcing [inaudible] impressions into my DMS. I want ,

I knew that I would be. Yeah . That's what I'm saying. Like I knew I knew it. Well. Yeah. I knew that we would be friends. Yeah.

That's what you have to do in this life. So like, I'm sort of having the same situation . So I guess I need to go to you for advice, because like in your eyes, like I'm probably like really famous. I'm like untouchable, right? Oh my God. Yeah. Okay . Like us , like a , like a B list celebrity. I would say a list. You'd be writing .

That's fair . Yeah.

This is actually air dried tonight. No, it looks wicked. Good. Thank you. I'm going to take a picture and we can put it on the Instagram so people can like, know how good my hair looks tonight.

It looks like it looks like someone did it.

It looks like a wig. I love when people ask me if it's a wig, I'm like, thank you so much. It's not like, I really, I , I find that to be a compliment anyway. So yeah. It's not a perm . This is like last year. That's amazing. Thank you.

Thank you all . So like

You found the strength and courage to speak to me a celebrity. I have a friendship with a celebrity

And I want to know, do you guys, did you hear that Rex Rex is calling. Did he say ma? He said, mom, calm . He's like, get the over here. You like clean up that that I just did.

Like literally, like I took , I took a video for Zach . I'm sorry, by the way, did I send you like kind of sent you like child , uh , naked ?

No, there was no, no, there was no parts . No, there was no nudity. I could just see his legs flailing about, yeah .

He was like sitting on the toilet, pooping with a gun in his hand, like not a real gun, a loaded pistol. He loves to and play Russian roulette. It's like his

He's going to dress in all black with a GAT in the lap. Yeah . He's

Going to come on and talk about deer Hunter. That's going to be his

Movie. Can Paul like respond to that and he'll be okay. Or when he calls mom, is it like,

I'm getting , let me just take off my wig and give it to Paul. He can pretend it's me tonight. When I sent Zach a picture of racks on the toilet or a video on the toilet, Zach was like , um, I think there's going to be like, like, that seems like there's like a lot of everywhere. Like he's moving too much. And lo and behold when he got up. Yep . There was everywhere. There was. Just like smeared onto what she's never done before. I can't imagine like moving as much as he was moving on a toilet.

Yeah. We'll be right back after a short break, enjoy the music while Sloan ties her child up to his bed.

Wait for I'm like , what did you say to him? I told him that I was going to take away, like everything that he owns. If he didn't just go to sleep. No , I was like, honey, we literally start bedtime at six 30. It's three hours of bedtime. Like it's like, we need Supernanny it's crazy over here. He'll be fine. Do you ever like lay there with him until he goes to sleep? Yeah. That's the problems that I used to do that all the time, because it's like the path of least resistance.

He

Was working in a stupid store in Providence, Rhode Island. We can't, we're not allowed to speak out of the camp versus told me, I can't say where I work. It's water. That water, like water just looks like, it looks like McDonald's look like diet Coke, but it's not. But if it looks like it's Pepsi , um , I love Pepsi and I don't care what anyone says. I'm very sorry to report this. As the last episode of my podcast, I like diet Pepsi.

We haven't heard from you in awhile . Is there anything you'd like to talk about with the group? Yes. I would like to talk about Jenny , lose hormone blockers . [inaudible]

I talk about JLo's but that's what tumblers so much. Like I think about them constantly. I don't know why they make me so mad. They make me irrationally mad. I don't know why I can't, I can't figure out why . I don't want to talk about it. I've literally asked my therapist why it makes me so like I've brought this up in therapy. I'm like, why did , why do I think about it so much? And like, she doesn't have an answer for me. She's like, you need to do the work on that one. Like, okay, well I'm

Paying you

To do the work on that one anyway. We don't know what it means yet. But this writer that I love are Eric Thomas. He spearheaded for Al he has, he has an amazing book. He is the funniest person. I don't , I don't pay for any subscriptions, Zack . Like I don't pay people to get content that I could get . Not even on only fans. I mean, I sign up for, people's only fans to like support sex work

And then cancel it immediately because you get the Fremont

Free month. And it's like, I see what I see. I see what I need to see. And I go, when I need to,

That was it. We went off road there.

Let's get back on our ATV. You've got back on the path anyway, are Thomas released? If you don't follow him, follow him. He is literally one of the funniest people like you will be in stitches. He released a whole think piece on JLo's bedazzle , tumbler . And it was in that moment where I was like, so I pay for a subscription to his like private newsletter. He releases a weekly newsletter. And then there's a private newsletter.

You want me to write you a, like a, like a friendship request , DM . And then you can like,

You write me like a doctor's note, like what a parent would write and be like, Eric Sloan , like really wants to be your friend. She talks about the dazzle tumblers. Like she doesn't have anybody. Yeah .

I'll have my mom do it because my mom literally wrote notes to every teacher I ever had like to get my way. Like my mom wrote notes upon your notes upon notes upon notes. Did you get your way? Oh yeah. One time a teacher had to publicly apologize to me because where in like USA today or what? In seventh grade? Um, English Lang or like language arts class, because my uncle was taking my sister and I to Disney world. And for four days, two of which were a weekend.

Okay . Well , can your mom write me a note that shows, I want a friend, our Eric comments , if you've ever listened to this? I do think we would be friends. I think if you just like gave me a chance to prove myself, the friendship would come naturally. Eventually, if you want to be my friend, just like here's a note circle one. Yes or no. That's all I need to know.

So all 30,000 people who listen to this are going to

Don't do that. That's like, I'm like embarrassed. Like I love him so much. I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed. You guys, like I told you not to tag Aaron Carter and I he's like married. He's married to a man. It's not a sex thing. If he wants to have sex with me, I'll let him, because he's so funny that I would just be like, if you want to try this, you can, if you want a sample.

Yes. Speaking of unrequited love, Sloan's going to move up to Rhode Island and I'm going to be her nanny and I'm going to call and she's going to be like Mr. Sheffield. I'm going to be, I know, but it's just the way it is. And Paul has to be CC.

Apollo is such a CC anyway. So like it's fun . Okay. Well, should we like to actually get, I mean, I do want to move to Boston and live near you. Yeah. I've been trying to move to Boston. Is that something that you guys talk about? Yeah. We talk about it quite frequently, but Paul doesn't want to be cold. So it's sort of a non-starter. Oh, I know being cold best . I don't understand it.

And you're only freezing for like three months. You're like, you're like freezing for three months. But other than that, you're just in like a jacket.

It's different for Paul. He was born and raised in Miami, Florida. Like he is like a lizard on like ,

Yeah. He would need like a Canada goose jacket from like September.

Yeah. And like, I'm like as , uh , um, uh , I want to say a curvier girl. Who's always sweating. Like I, my whole life don't don't say yeah, like that.

I can , because I am a curvy girl. Who's like ,

I'm just like a sweater. And it's like, I am so jealous of those girls who were like, I'm so cold. I'm need a sweater mixed . So cool. Oh my gosh. Pleasing you guys . Oh my God. Feel my hands. My hands are like, I ,

Your barefoot dreams robe would work so well up here.

You can only wear it for, I mean, you saw for five minutes before I'm dying. Like I'm sweat , like

So good. In one of those, like in one of those, like parklets with the fur on the hood, like

He, his entire closet is already J crew. I don't know what he's waiting for. What the hell are you weird ? Oh,

Does Paul know that my whole closet is J crew as well?

Well, you guys can just like share clothes. You wouldn't want to share my clothes. They're covered in sweat stains. Anyway, this actually segues us nicely into a movie where it looked so hot. And why are they wearing so many clothes? The Congo doing 1995

Box office smash, hit Congo. It was a smash. It was like, so yeah, like I think the, I think it was like 50,000 or 50 million and they ended up making like 150 million. So I don't , I don't know if that's just smash, but like,

Yeah. Turn around about the studios . Happy.

Yeah. The studio was probably happy. So like, you guys know that. I need to say Laura Linney was 31 years old and Dylan Walsh was 32 years old. Laura Linney doesn't age .

She does not age. She's really the only white person that doesn't age.

No, I'd say she looked over 31, but luckily she still looks that age.

She looks like she's been 42 forever, which is good. That's good.

Yeah . Yeah. Especially when you're in your fifties or 60 . I don't know how old she is

Be in her nineties. We have no idea. We have no idea, but the only

She, Oh, and the director also directed a horrible, great movie. That's bad, but also good, but not at all. Um, arachnophobia stirring , Jeff Daniels. Have you seen that movie? It's so bad, but it's also like kind of your , you have , uh , you have arachnophobia.

Remember I told you that story about my dad throwing a spider and hitting me on the leg. This was when arachnophobia was out in theaters because my dad, I was in the bathtub and my dad was on the other side of the house, screaming, arachnophobia , arachnophobia . And I'll never forget it . It appeared that movie . No, we can't do that movie. But can I ask you a question? Like when you were little, did your parents like always dry you off after the bath? Yeah .

Yeah, I think they did say spread them. Okay. I'm going to check it. I think that's like a nineties thing. I think that, yeah, I don't, my mom is like a very, my mom was a very like smothering, like not, I didn't feel smothered, but like she had these weird rules where like, we could never eat peanuts or anything. Like, I still don't want be nuts . Yeah. Like we were going to choke on them. Like, so we like couldn't meet knots . We couldn't like watch PG 13 movies until we were 13.

I wasn't allowed to have 17 magazine until I was 17.

Yeah. So like, my mom was very strict about, I don't even like to say strict. Cause it's just like, I think like, it was more out of like fear of like losing our like innocence that she just like did it .

Didn't let you eat peanuts. Cause it was ,

But then like, but she never gave us like curfews. She never told us that we couldn't do drugs or couldn't drink. She always just said that

Do drugs. You could have sex . Stay out late. No, just no peanuts. Just

No peanuts and no PG 13 movies,

But everything else is fair game. Yeah.

Well , so she gave me a curfew. The first night I got my license and when I got home at the curfew , she was like knocked out. And the next morning she was like, well, that's not. She was like, so I guess like that's not gonna work. Like I can't give you a curfew of , I can't like back it up. So just call me.

I can't believe your mom wouldn't let you eat peanuts. But then could like easily fall asleep the first night you were out on the road by yourself.

Yeah. But then when I woke her up, like when I came home, it was like, Oh , like, you know, like , I'm like, Oh, well I had like, it was the rule. Like when I came home, I had to like wake her up and take a night. I love you. That's so cute. And like give her a Kuzma for him. Oh my God. Really? You kissed her on the forehead. Like literally every night, like if every time I came home, I think I lived with her until I was like 27. And I would do that up like up until then.

I got so scared to this day. I got so scared when my parents call me not my mom. But like, if my dad calls me, I immediately start like sweating. I'm like, what did I do? Like if somebody calls me by my name, like Sloan , I get , I'm like

What I do. Oh my God. I do that a lot. Should I stop? No, it's fine .

When you do it. Cause like we ha we've developed a later in life friendship. But like, if I've known you for a long time or you're my parent, it scares me. Like if Paul , when Paul calls me, I immediately think something terrible has happened anyway . So Congo. Right?

So Congo guy, I don't know, guys were like, wow. While we , wow. It's a slumber party night again. It

Is rainy. There's ghosts

There's goes . Okay. So guys, this was adopted by, this was an adopted film by , um, no, hold on. This

Was adapted by Mike , uh , Michael Creighton book. Is that what you're trying to say?

Yeah. Yeah. It's adapted from a novel by Michael.

There we go. We nailed it. You nailed it. I didn't get it there guys. It was a book written and then

Movie. Okay. So Michael Cray and obviously like develop King of the nineties. First of all, ER, he did, he did, you know, he did ER, nineties drama. I did

It , but like I did. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. You're not surprised. So, and then obviously Jurassic park, which we will get to this summer.

Siri, this is just a taste and you guys obviously don't want any more of this. This is a terrible episode . We say that every episode though. And then it like worked out. Okay .

That's good . Yeah . Yeah. Yeah. So what is the, I want to see what the first thing you noticed about this movie and see if it's the first thing I noticed about this movie. Let me see here.

Okay. The first thing I noticed, if you notice the same thing about the act , like it really creeped me out because this is really

Okay. Because all right. And then I don't think it is

Okay. I , the first note was on the tree,

Gave me PTSD about the lion King on Sega with that unbeatable level. But the birds on the tree that your note?

No Sloan pan flute.

Okay. Yeah. There was pan flute there wasn't

The pan of flu was like, guys, I was getting like Anaconda energy. Well , the time's up million. It's a G the pan flu was like, it was like the same song from Anaconda.

It's also though, like it's in a different location. Like you don't, there's no, totally different continent. Yeah. There's not as like a pantsuit continent

Guys. If the pan flu is like a classic nineties, adventure trope, like it's like , yeah, your leg , you're going

To set playing music.

Like went in and out.

No, I thought you were lying to me. Not like lying, but I thought you were lying to me the other day when you were like, it asked me if I was playing music. My understood it.

See, I know it's weird.

That's so beautiful. Are you, are you a song? No, it's just my, my mouth pan flute. Thank you for asking Apple music.

Didn't you notice that Dylan Walsh had the same hair haircut ? Does he? Oh ,

Okay. That's literally one of my notes. I go, I go, I love Dylan's hair. And then I wrote in my notes. Ha ha ha . That's my hair. I realize what I was seeing. That's so funny. I literally was like, his hair is great. That's my hair. It's my hair. Like my hair is, so,

Which looks really good on you, but like [inaudible]

I also like , okay, so Paul actually said, why is everybody's hair? Like Steve Gutenberg's hair? All things. I have Steve Gutenberg hair. It's just like the fashion in this movie was like atrocious. I wrote, I wrote an all caps , like my third note, all caps. Why is Laura Linney dress like Paula Poundstone on like , uh , Paula Poundstone . Like she ha I feel like Laura Linney hat on like a big chunky tie and like a vast, did I imagine that outfit? Or did she wear that? Like

You imagined that's what Dylan Walsh was wearing. Like the whole time they have a question

Leading man of this film. Like it seemed to be

Very confused . No, that's a really good question. I, okay. So, all right . I'm going to go into some, I guess this is kind of serious, but like, did you notice that the black man and the woman were the only smart people in the movie and the white man was a total idiot who could get nothing done. Do you think that that was on purpose? That's a good question.

I mean, we keep picking films that have that theme.

I know, but we don't mean to do it. Like we just picked these movies because they're like, they're like nostalgic

And then they end up like, I mean, I guess like Zach , when you think about it, we pick these movies. Cause they like informed our opinions about life. So like, yeah. Like the way we feel about life is like women and black men. We should listen to them.

I know. So that's the thing like that's, if we had

For black woman in this film, it would have been a home run for me over and done over and done. But I'll take, I'll take that. Or what's his name? Ernie Hudson. Is that his name?

Okay, so guys really quick, if you haven't seen this movie, the premise of the movie is that there's this big corporate, there's this big corporation who sends people out to the jungle to get these diamonds. They send up , they send a party out, they get killed. They don't know what happened . So they have to send another party to go rescue them or get the diamonds. In the meantime, there's also a gorilla that can speak sign language. And they think that Amy Good gorilla .

Plot wrap up . Thank you so

Much. I know we've learned that we need to get, like, we need to get it down to when they get to the airport, they need a guide. So in roles , this beautiful large black man who knows everything about everything and he is not frightened of a little bomb. He's not frightened of an explosion. So he leads them through the jungle.

Do you think, by the way really quickly, was that, was that a spirit airline terminal that they were in? Yes. Cause that's how I feel. If I'm flying spirit, I flown spirit, I think twice

There's like gauges of girls going by and like bananas and like

There's bombs, exploding. People are shooting at you and you like it ,

Laser like speeding by like luggage is falling off

And you're at , they're like get on the plane and you're, and then you have to hand them like a wad of cash point. Like you don't have any fuel. And you're like, okay, I can pay for it. And they're like, all right , we'll give you, we'll give you a Sprite now. Like that's when you're feeling it in the car . And the way you leave is , is a bomb explodes into your plane and you have to evacuate with a gorilla and you're parachuting out of spirits .

No , I don't want to . No . See, I don't want to, I don't need to see

It's like prison. You have to like, keep your eyes down, like look up, like don't make eye contact with anyone. Because then

That reminds me of the school bus, the school bus, like circuit 1997.

I mean, I never took a bus.

Oh. I took a bus. I had, I had parents. No, I don't. Now that I think about it, like , and my mom didn't even work. Like

She was just too lazy

And she'd always like walk us to the school bus and like stand there with us.

I mean, my mom drove carpool and took the school bus. I think if everybody takes the school bus, it's fine. I think my school didn't even have an option to get on a bus. Like I don't think we had a school bus. Is that possible?

Remember we listened to like in my school bus, like, well , I was way too young to listen to any of this music. They'd always have like the rap station on.

Oh, well my mom had Howard stern on while we picked up like middle schoolers . So Wayne's a lot about me or my mom. I was horrified though. Like I hated it. It would be like the most disgusting raunchy. And it's like this really nice girl named Lauren that lives down the street. I'm like, I'm so sorry. And it's like, yeah , she's got some big mommy milkers she's really? And then like, I mean, it was just a morning show that tells some people like to start their morning with big mommy milkers.

I just am not ready for that.

I just need , I need to wake up like softly.

I can't listen to speaking. So I went through like this, I went through like this thing where I had a car that , um, it was like before, like Bluetooth was every, in every car. So I had a car that I could plug my phone into and listen to music. But the Jack like broke off into the hole . So like, I couldn't use it. I had to listen to the radio, like until I got a new car Sloan , let me tell you, like I would drive to work. And it was like a 45 minute commute listening to the radio.

So I would go to the word burger . Every moment is Zack listening to radio DJs I'm really freaked out right now because I listened to the radio today for the first time in, I don't even know

How long cause Rex had taken my phone and I was just like, I just wanted to drown out the sound of it playing like on my phone. And I put on the radio

Why it was so bad and I Oh , bad.

It's so it's like, it's like, you're sitting in traffic and then traffic is coming out of the speakers .

I know it's like so much it's

I know it's so bad. It's like a song 87 minutes of commercials. Then you have to listen to like some dumb DJ .

You start a podcast,

Honestly, the captive audience of three people, how they got here. Okay .

And they always have to be, I know, I'm sorry. I haven't. I was going to say we haven't spoken in a long time. We literally all day, every day

I go to sleep and Zack Xaxis is the last voice I hear. And it's the first voice I hear in the morning when I attack her.

Yeah. But my phone's on it's on do not disturb. So you never wake me up. Rex

Calls that moon mode, which I is really cute.

It is moon mode. That's sweet. Okay. So, Oh my God. All right. So what I want to say about, no, you go, sorry. You go. I was just going to say what I think about Laura Dern is who? And I love Laura Dern. Like don't get me wrong. She is no Ellie. Sattler from Jurassic park. Okay . Wait ,

Are you trying to talk about Laura during , or are you trying to talk about Laura Linney and you're calling her?

Oh my God. I mentioned . Okay. So what I mean ? Okay. I love Laura Dern anyway. Yes. Laura Linney. Laura Linney. I love Laura Linney too. Like I love Laura Linney and like anything she's in love her, but she's no Laura Dern. Like she's no, if we're going to pick a Laura, I would pick Laura Dern.

I'm with you. I've met. I would maybe pick like Laura Bush.

Oh, you want to hear something? I don't know if my friends are going to want me to tell this, but like, whatever, I'm not going to say , I'm not going to say their names. My friends and I like talk about, we read , like we refer to our like pubic hair and like terms of Bush family members. So like, like we rank . So like at any given moment. So the order is like the worst possible leader . Bush could be as a George HW, Bush word as Barbara, like next Barbara is next.

Okay. Laura Bush is like good but not great.

Yeah. And then the best year Bush can be is , um , Jenna Hagar .

It's like a pretty solid ranking. Yeah . I feel like Jenna probably gets bikini waxes, but doesn't have laser. I agree. I did laser and it didn't take,

She's like too old fashioned for that, but also wants to be clean. Yeah.

I met her because my sister was on the today show Al Roker, Jenna Hagar , Bush Hoda, Cod B . Wow. What's the other one? Savannah Guthrie. They all came to my sister's old business and I was there and I got, I got a hug from Hoda. And let me tell you, it was like,

It was like a hugger it's as good

As you think it would be. It's it's that good? Al Roker came in a fedora and a Hawaiian shirt. I was surprised. Not surprised. I'm not surprised he was not, he was not nice. He was just in a bad mood. He wasn't very nice. Jenna was really nice. She got her dad. Her dad did not love him. I'm leaving it in. I said what? I said, I stand by it.

You would never have said that if you were in the Illuminati.

I mean, cause I'm in the Illuminati. I can say it because I actually do know who did nine 11. I was invited to be a member of the Illuminati last night at 5:09 AM by someone with a Gmail address. So, Oh , you guys

Are good audio . So you guys are talking to a member of the Illuminati. It was from Illuminati boy@gmail.com. Yeah. So it's like, I'm kind of in Victoria. Now what you saw earlier, Zach , the lightening was actually like, tonight's my initiation ceremony. And if you're not, I light , I will be I'm new to these clothes. Okay. Well anyways, you have clothes . The Longo is crazy.

You're wearing so many layers. Like when I don't know every I know, but you're supposed to be covered because of bugs and like stuff like that. It's just like, I would , I wouldn't be like, I'd rather have a tick on me than being khakis and a vest. And I feel like people are always jumping into water, like fully clothed with boots on. And it's like, what are you doing with boots on? And it's water that like, you wouldn't ever just randomly jump into it .

And like Bush did it and now we're getting into anti-vax stuff. So this has actually become a Q and a on podcast.

I am not an anti-vaxxer, but let me tell you why Allah . I was in the , I was in the throws of these reactions and I was like, why did I get this vaccine? But you still get the vaccine, still get the vaccine. It is what it is like you're going to , not, everyone is going to have reactions. Secondly, my sister got the same vaccine at the same time, in the same place that I did. And she had no reaction just like your body. Yeah . Yeah. It's just like, whatever.

48

Hours. No, guys, I woke up, I woke up uncontrollably, shaking. Like my body was, I had no control of my body. I peed all over the bathroom. I don't even know how you did that. Okay. I'll get detailed . But like, I was shaking so much that my penis was like , it was like moving. And then I thought to myself, okay, grab it because I was like, I need to grab it and aim it. But then my hand was shaking so badly that it didn't help at all.

Oh , wacky inflatable tube, man with a wacky and peanuts is .

It was horrible. So then it stopped after a half hour, but then like the high fever kicked in. And so your body, I know. So like your testicles are supposed to be at a certain temperature. They're supposed to be less degree is in your body. So the hotter you get the further away from your body, they get long balls. So I could fit a lot more leeches the last 48 hours than normal. And as you got

Older, your balls get even saggier right .

I think that that's just college.

So every year to Mark, like the anniversary of our podcast, we'll see if you can fit an extra leech on your ,

Okay, so guys, we're not talking about this in vain. We're not talking about this in vain. The , so in Anaconda , they referenced Anaconda. They referenced leeches on a man scrotum, which is what has sparked the scrotum talk . Since then. And in this movie, Dylan, Walsh's character wakes up with a leech . We don't know if it's on his scrotum or on his Dick, but it's in that area. And he panics, he wakes up with a leech on his private parts and he has to burn it off with a cigar.

Unless he wants to see it.

Yeah. I guess like if he wanted fine, but like, I would never just be like, look at this

For show big Dick energy, Ernie Hudson. My

What I'm saying, although I will say like, unless you like, no for it, like, unless he's like the kind of guy who's like, everyone's Dick is smaller than mine, so he's not judgmental . You know what I mean? He's like, okay .

Or he's just like, he's like a , is he a scientist? Is he a , a professor

Venturer? I think, I think he knows that

Ernie, Ernie, Dylan , Dylan.

He's a primatologist. Okay.

Again, is that a doctor?

I think you just maybe go to school to learn about monkeys and then what monkey,

This is the name of this episode is definitely called monkey

Monthly around. Hey, we're the monkeys guys. I just think it's so weird though . Like in to nineties adventure films, they're going to talk about leeches on with them .

It's kind of weirdly, and I totally forgot about that. I also know that this

A leach off of your V would you, if you had a leech on your vagina, would you burn it off with a cigar? Because I would rather use my fingers to peel it off, then bring fire to my penis.

I mean, I am at , uh , I'm at , uh , uh , Bush senior level right now. If I, if I brought fire towards it, the whole thing, it would be a forest clearing. So I feel like, I feel like AI wouldn't even know leach was there and B I, I should've put fire to it. It's very flammable.

I just feel like it would be better just to rip it off. Yeah . I don't know. I just, yeah, I think you should just rip it off. Yeah. So I don't know. I wouldn't, I wouldn't bring fire to my privates

Maybe. Cause Dylan's a primatologist. He's just like so used to, I don't know, bodies, gorilla body. So he like, didn't think about like showing off his body, like a body of scientific studies .

It's fine. You shouldn't yeah. Show it. If you need to show it , show it, show it. We also guys got a smoking and drinking monkey. Now this movie to me, like, it's not that it tries to be serious, but like, there's not a lot of comedy in this movie. Obviously. Like they try to make it, they wanted it to be like a respected film, which like, whatever. But there are, but like Amy, the monkey does bits.

Amy, good gorilla Amy. You're doing it like really sexy.

I have a problem where I can't, I can't have any sexy yelling. I can't say like anything. Like my friends get mad at me because like I, everything I say comes out like inappropriate. Like , like my friend's daughter will ask me a question. I'll be like, go ask daddy. And there'll be like , like, don't say that. They're like, don't say it. Like, I'm like, no, I just told her to go ask daddy. And they're like, yeah, but the way you said daddy, and I'm like, it's not my fault.

I'd like, you could just say like, go ask your dad. But you're like whispering like, Nope. That made me feel more uncomfortable to be honest

Because once the word dad is bro it's yeah. I don't know. Yeah. It's hard for me to not be, to not sound inappropriate . I think I've just gone my whole life being inappropriate that nobody can take you seriously.

Just more of a, like a higher, like, less like a gorilla wants to you more. A realist just learning to speak is like more of where the voice comes.

I know I'm bringing it ,

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it back for you, Amy. And that's not what he's taught her to do.

You were calling me out about this. Cause like, this is something that I need to learn. You know,

You just have sent me really sexy voice notes all day and Paul's just like kind of overheard them and been like, why does that keep saying like Sloan crying? Like I don't, I don't know what to say.

Amy

Moise daddy, by the way, I was filming a Ted talk video today. This is going to be a sad conversation that I have with myself right now. But I was a tech talk video where I was like watching, watching the mummy video that I made of Brendan and Rachel together. And I'm like reacting to my, what, what am I saying right now? Why am I admitting any of this? I didn't even end up posting it on this , telling you the backstory of a video that will never see the light of day.

Isn't it. So freeing to tell a really embarrassing story.

Yeah. It's like, I can't, I need to

Know and stop laughing.

I just there's some times where like I'm doing things and like, I just like , um, I think as I have ADHD, I just like do them and I don't really think about like the societal implication and then like in the aftermath of it, I'm like, that was probably a weird thing I did. And then like,

No, there's something, there's something to be said about us being in the middle of like gen Z and like bloomers , because like there's a lot like where like a Mo like, you know, like moms will say things like, Oh, you know, it would be a good idea. And you, and like, you would get famous.

Um , because I can be famous from this video.

Yeah. That's you were like, you're like, you know, it'd be wicked funny if I did this video and then you did it

Trust cringey . It's like, really just like I would go famous and people would be like, is this the cringiness video? The most crucial video? She's

So brave . Curvy

Films, cringy video sweating a lot. I was definitely , I kind of want to redo the video now that my hair looks good. Cause it wasn't keeping up .

That's really good. Thank you . Okay. So back to the movie briefly, so briefly, do you guys, okay, so men though Monroe is this movie's artifact .

Oh my God. That's so accurate. Isn't that accurate? Who would Brendon play?

So Brendan is like Dylan Wall. She's like supposed to be like the hunky dumb guy, even though I wouldn't say Dylan's like hunky, it's just like, he's the dumb white guy.

That's what I couldn't understand in this movie. I'm like, are they trying to make me like , like, like,

No. So don't you think that if you reverse the genders of Laura Linney and Dylan Walsh, like if you gave Laura Linney the role of Dylan Walsh and vice versa, that would have been way more nineties acceptable. Like that would have been, we wouldn't have questioned that at all in the nineties.

I'm kind of surprised that like, she was such a gun-wielding laser, laser wielding. I don't know how to

She was, she was like such a badass when she kicked out, when she kicked open that door, loaded up those flare guns and shot that miss a lot of the air. I was like, I was like, horny. Like that was like, so she had Monroe , this like dual flare , like how did they shoot? Then he only needed to see her do it one time before he was like, yeah, I'm doing that. I've got that chill . It looks really good. Okay . Yeah. And honestly like that scene of them doing it is like so hot.

Mean, it's Tim Curry. Anything's possible.

And then they stop because then he like looks at him and like, yeah, keep , what were you, what are you going to say?

Yeah . Like I imagine a movie would say that like in the nineties.

Well, I think that I know, well , he didn't say it, but in my mind I was like, I think that that's what they were alluding him to say.

That's really crazy, up.

True. I know. Well, because this character was kind of up. What was his character? Kareem Shannara .

Herkimer Homolka formerly of Romania free now of the chains of chow chess school, traveling the world. Doing good. So why didn't I do

Or whatever the. Like why did he need that accent? I don't know. Weirdest . He was like formerly Serbian or something. So I think what happened is they took Tim Curry on just to be Tim Curry. And Tim Carter was like, what's his backstory ? And they were like, no, he doesn't really have one. And they were like, no. And Tim Carney was like, no, like where is he from? Who is he doing? What's he doing? And they were like, no, he's just, he's like a bad guy, like whatever. And he was like, yeah.

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

Species list ? And then sorts out

Reading these monkeys. Like it was my, I was like, you . Or Linnie . I laughed so hard because that scene is like, it's like right when , um, movie effects started getting, like, I wouldn't say pretty good, but like, they were like, definitely good for that time. Well, I always use this as a reference, but Jurassic park came out in 92 and like, we use like, mainly like animatronics, but those not all the time.

I have sensor operated machine pistols on tripods out there. And I , it comes within 40 feet. Get ready for the 4th of July.

That line was so practiced. She packs on her mirror for weeks. Oh my gosh. He says it to this day. Probably I wouldn't you every 4th of July, if you're Laura Linney, you would say that every year, 4th of July, she's like, I've got machine men . Pistol. Yeah, I'm gonna , I'm gonna win . If we get famous one day, Zach , I'm going to get Laura Linney to call you on the 4th of July and say that to you.

So I don't know if you should like, but do you, do you

Like , okay , I

Think you said, like you're getting laid.

I said that, but when I asked him

To make love to each other,

I think that if they're safe and like they're educated, I think that they should make the right decisions based on their own selves. That's fair. But like not my child, my children can't

I would not like my child, my child to either to be ,

Yeah . Unless it's like same sex. Cause I just don't want anyone to get pregnant at that age. That's fair enough. Yeah.

That was literally a beautiful music video. And it was, I don't know why, why did they have to spend the night there? Because they couldn't get out for like a different camp, but like isn't any camp better than the camp outside of like the temple of the crazy monkeys.

I , yeah. So that's why also did Dylan and Walsh never have facial hair, this , so they were in the jungle without any resources for like a week. And he had a clean shaven face the entire time.

Interesting, Zach , that is good. Continuity question

Women in every movie though, like a woman can literally, you can find like, there there'll be a movie about like indigenous people of like a rainforest who have never seen any. And they have smooth arm pits, smooth way ,

Um, like return to blue, blue lagoon or whatever. And it's like, have leg hair. You don't have hair. You don't have Barbara Bush level puss hair.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

I shaved my legs at seven they're stubbly . Yeah, of course. Like, are you like,

I know I haven't done it. Stop . What nationality are you? Eastern? European Jew. Oh, we've talked about this. Yeah.

Like every like kind of like hairy European thing. You could be joining me and like, just like, yeah , like it's like a coarse hair and like a wide and like, like very good for like balancing like children, like doing the plow on the farm. Like I have the, the lower my , Oh my God. I have callous man hands. And then the lower half of my body is like

So thick. So I can like really just like strap things onto my back and like get to work. Like I have a very strong, like my center of gravity is very low and I'm very hunched and I have very wide hips and everything's like really padded and I'm always sweating. I have a mustache.

I do.

This is going to end with me saying, you know, who loves your mom ?

Beautiful. What makes me, what makes me, what makes me important is that I'm strong. I'm saying

Also I want to talk about something else. Um, who the? All right . I have a story to go along with this, but who the brings? So they find , um, Laura Lenny's ex fiance is Hershey rapper . Yeah . So there's one thing that's like not a good consistency to bring, to like a hot jungle. And it's like chocolate, especially like milk, cheap, milk chocolate . Let me tell you, I had a little mini KiCad in my purse today and it already remit.

And I did mushrooms and I put a tarantula on my face.

Okay. That's I don't like that. Yeah . I don't, I don't need to see that.

I'm gonna send you a picture of it. So like, I do have arachnophobia, but I don't have fear of controlled spiders, if that makes any sense. Oh, I do. Like, I don't have a fear of like the Smiths

In Washington. Would you let them put a , what are you looking at? Like that tranche . A spider .

Hold on this cat.

Oh my God. Okay. Holding. Okay. So Buster's out. Um , okay. So I, have you ever been to the Smithsonian museum in Washington, DC?

Yeah. I was born in Bethesda, Maryland.

Oh my God. I love the , I love Bethesda.

I'm so sorry. Buster's bag. I have to let him in. I'm not kidding. Hold on. He wasn't there. The door was just shaking. So sorry. Okay. Yeah. So I've been, I've been there. I love Bethesda. I moved out of Bethesda when I was three. I don't remember it. I went to the Smithsonian at high school. None of those things are connected. Anything of value? Not at all, but like, do they have a room where you can put spiders on you? I don't remember that.

There's like a bug room or they put like cockroaches on you.

I don't think I would let , uh , I don't want a cockroach and that's all. Why were the ones ? I just don't like,

I know what this means, but I typed when the wild gorillas are like dumb to Amy.

I wrote Tim. I wrote Tim Curry. Eats your from behind. No,

You also texted that.

Okay. Well, my next note is I'm not a pound of sugar. I'm a primatologist. And then I don't know why this tickled me. It's like no end. But Laura, when Laura Linney goes to skydive, she throws her hair up in a scrunchie . Like I'm going to wash her scrunchie . She went into sport mode and put hair back skydive . Everybody on that plane was so comfortable with just having to like random jumping. They were like,

Well, except for Dylan Wall . Oh no, it was um, well, Karrie needed to be pushed out. Yeah. And

Then Ernie was like, I've got no problem. And I'll carry your gorilla on pills. Your gorillas on the gorilla spent a lot of time on pills and

The smoking drinking pills,

Like, should I pick up drug problem?

She was like, she was like a gorilla .

She's like

Jamie and needs a coffee

Hung over Amy. Oh my God, Amy. I can't even,

You guys haven't seen this movie, then you're not understanding the Amy guerrilla stuff. It's she can speak sign language. And they put a machine on her that translates.

We didn't address that

Dress that, so she wears a backpack and an arm like thing. And when she does sign language, it says what she's saying. So it's like, Amy, good gorilla. Did I say that last section?

Really ? Kind of, it sounded like scary though. That time she just can tell like really simple phrases. So like her phrases, she calls Laura Linney ugly,

Which is so funny. Yeah,

No ugly .

Yeah. She's like

Ugly , ugly, ugly.

She's like desperate

Life, life. It was really weird that like the phrases that she learned or just like , like, I feel like Dylan was like kind of up for just like showing her, like, things are either beautiful or ugly.

Can you like, what was the thing where, and he was like, yeah, she is an ugly woman. Like, it was like, they were actually dating. And he was like, no, yeah, she's totally ugly. I would never have sex with her. Like,

It was like a weird Oedipal relationship though, because like, then, then Amy comes to his rescue at the end as his mom. And he's like, thank God for maternal instinct. Yeah.

This voice was so awesome though.

I want to listen to a calm app where he like, read me to sleep or like tells me, like I did bad in school and I have to be punished or just like,

Okay. I think we're always going to get to that level. So I , I think that like Ernie and Laura Linney could have been the whole movie, like yeah. As like a bad-ass adventure duo. Like, do you remember when the rock and um, what's his name? Sean. William Scott did the rundown.

No , I must've missed that class.

You see the rundown ? No Sloan . You have to watch the rundown. It's the last adventure film. It's like the last adventure film that was ever made the rundown. So Sean William Scott is a spoiled rich kid who gets lost in the jungle and needs rescuing. So his rich parents hire the rock, a mercenary to go get him from the jungle.

That sounds actually really good. I want to know it

Is. It's funny and it's adventurous and it's good.

Let me , okay. Let me ask you this. Why do white people love to go on adventures like this? Like why do white people pay money to do things like go into the jungle, go on Safari, go whitewater, rafting, climb Everest. What is,

I'll tell you because of white people don't go through anything. Scary. I'm I'm obviously, obviously people go through the scary things, but you know what I'm saying? Um, I beg to differ because one time I watched a horror movie and my dad snuck into the basement and turned the power off. And that was

Really mean.

My dad and my dad tormented me as, as a child. That's really scary. He, his goal in life was to stop my heart.

Maybe one day he'll succeed. There he is right behind you.

He would be because he just, I can see his apartment building from my deck. Now he moved there a week ago and I can see his apartment building from my deck.

If you are walking around naked and your dad had binoculars, like he could see .

Yeah. Yup . I went, when we were moving him in, I looked out of his window to see if he could see me. And he can, luckily there it's spring and the trees are like blooming. So it's like any minute he won't be able to see me because of a tree. But like,

Like you can't even hide. You can't be like all like , um , going to bed, like you'd have to turn on your lights off.

He called me yesterday. And he was like, did you look out your window today? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, I walked by your house because between like, so you ha like there's a grocery store really close to here. So he just walks to the grocery store and he was like, I walked by your house to go to the grocery store. And I was like, okay, okay. Oh my God. I know he could be I'm on the second floor though. So he couldn't get here, but it's ,

And how's that person standing behind you in the window.

Don't do that. You told me that I had flashlights behind me once ,

Either way someone messaged me and they said, I thought those were flashlights.

So things .

Yeah. They look like little badge slits. I see. Now that they're later , they're doing their vineyard, vine collectable , soy sauce cup. I got it.

Creative co-op and microwave safe day balls

On your window.

I don't need to be judged.

Really cute. I figured out what they were after. They weren't flashlights, but they just looked like rounds with slits in the middle. So wish that they were so I can get you one if you need one. So I hate camping. I've never really been and I never want to go.

I totally agree. Okay. So I don't totally agree, but if we could, if I could go camping, like I know, I agree, but there's remember. I talked about like me wanting to be in places that I don't actually want to be. That's

The same energy. Like, I like the idea of camping and wearing cool sweaters and like being boots and like, what are bean boots? Like boots made out of LLB and they're LL bean every everywhere . Yeah. They're duck boots that everyone wears. I'd be more interested . I'd be more interested in speaking English. And I love outdoor . Like I love being outdoors. No , I like being outdoors, but I like being out there on my terms. And then coming back home. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing.

Wandering the woods, like try to like, feel like with tribes and then come back home. I like the thought of like being in a , like

Camping next to a gorilla in like canvas, like I'm wearing like all canvas to protect from like the elements makes me feel uncomfortable. She threw up those pop tents. Like I didn't have that. Like I wasn't given that from Santa a lot . Like when I was eight, she threw it into the air and it expanded. And everyone was like, Ooh, Whoa. It was like, I literally had one of those Lauren when he had every single gadget that sharper image sold in 1990, whenever this movie was made, like, it was crazy.

Just the whole Monica , stop eating my Sesame cake. Stop hating my Sesame cake,

Eating my Sesame cake. Am I going to get in trouble for that? I just did it right after you stop eating my Sesame cake. The, that man pronounces like a Nancy . That doesn't mean cake Sesame cake. Nope. I'm not doing it. I don't think that's offensive. Right? I don't think so. But a wheeling says stop eating. My Sesame cake had the cadence and humor of ACE Ventura. And that's, I would kind of like to do the second one. I want to do the second one.

Or like at red lent lists board on Twitter said I, Oh , the Jurassic park franchise and apology. It is in fact very realistic. The rich would reopen a park in spite of it consistently resulting in mass death.

Isn't a drastic park movie that I don't like. I'm with you. They're all. They're all watchable. Obviously the third one is bad. It's really bad. But yeah, it's really bad. It's still like, it's still watchable and William H Macy. Yeah. William H Macy. Like I don't ever believe him. I don't want to look at him to be honest. Like, I don't want to , I, I love like I loved the British version of shameless. Okay . So I wanted to watch the American version, but I can't watch William H Macy.

What's your favorite Laura Linney role?

I , I really like her in love actually. Yeah. I really like ,

Oh yeah, yeah . Yeah. What

Else is she? I'm going to look up Laura Linney movies . Laura Linney.

So does, do you watch like PBS at all?

No. I'm like I have so ,

Okay. So I don't and I watch PBS a lot and she is the PBS like person to say I'm Laura Linney and you're watching masterpiece. And she does like a really good job at it.

I feel like , Oh, hello. We're so stupid. She's one of our favorite movies. Moth man. Prophecies of course.

Oh, I loved her in that movie because she's like a top topless . She's a lesbian top cop.

Really good in that. She was like, actually like been in a lot of movies, but none that I want to like talk about,

I think that we should do moth man prophecies at some point.

Well, we can do it for, I mean, our October is filling up fast.

Well, September we can do eight movies between September 1st and October 31st. Okay . Maybe not

Every, every episode of our podcast is us talking about October movies and how Tobar so you guys good stuff is coming. If you just hang on and you just like ,

It's like when we're like the first 17 episodes sock , but like once you get past those, you're going to be, it's going to be a really good. Yeah.

Do you want to know a show that like I have to constantly and my, my friend Rocky doesn't listen to this podcast, which is like, honestly rude, but my, none of my friends like Rocky. Yeah. That's really nice of you to say is really pretty.

I was like, is that not her that I saw?

She's beautiful. She thinks she's not pretty. She's so stupid. Are you serious? Yeah. She like , literally thinks she's ugly. It's like, she's so stupid,

But that's her right? Like on Instagram, like that's her picture. Oh , she's really pretty. Yeah .

I know. She looks like Jen Aniston. She's gorgeous.

Can you text her right now in Holly? That we're talking about it ?

Yeah. I'll tell her. She has never seen an interview with a vampire and I really want her to go with the vampire. No. Yeah. Well, she I've asked her for the last three birthdays. I've said for my birthday present, will you come to my house and watch an interview with a vampire with me? And she always says she will. And then she doesn't. So I'm going to make her this time.

Do I think that she really needs to, because that movie I watched them for the first time, it was like late in my life. And I was like ,

I was thinking in my mid twenties, me too. And I was sold .

Why the? Didn't I watch that movie before. So good Christian Slater in that movie.

You love Christian Slater though.

I do love Christian Slater. I don't, that's like a weird thing for me because I think, but I mean,

Christian, Slater's another person. I think. I know he looks so good even right now, but it's only because he like moved into a house in Miami where I knew the previous owners . So I feel like I didn't know him, but I don't. Can we get him on the show? Yeah, we actually, you guys, we do have like some exciting celebrities , um , coming onto the show, like actual, famous people coming onto the show. So, well, Zach , we have some celebs. Like we have, we have some, I mean, we've had Ian.

So beastiality . And then, so what about, how about the PRI? I remember watching the people like chanting and the tribes circle. I remember being scared, like as a kid.

Yeah. Like, honestly, I feel like this is the sort of movie that wakes up and screams. Okay. I wrote in my notes, I was like, if I was only partially dead and I woke up and that was happening around me, I would be like, I really up in this life because this is where I've ended up. I had died. I know what's happening to me. Staring at me. Amy's death. Stare, Amy killed a man. Killed Amy, killed . The guy was high. I don't know what happened. I like, Oh my God. I was so pulled out.

Homicide,

Amy loose cannon Amy Cannon . Also, this is like another thing in all nineties movies, like is lava faster, slow. Well,

If you watch the movie volcano, it's slow.

If you watch Congo, it's fast. It's

Acid is . I think that if you

Gorilla , you are obligated to dive in.

I think lava is slow to be honest with you, like in real life, but they needed it to be rushing quickly to get out of here. They're also at the top of the garage , like the gorilla, there are the top of the volcano. So I think that there's a difference in speed. Yeah. It's a heavy flow. So also did you, so I have like a big question, like what happened? And I want like your opinion, like what happened to the adventure film? Where are they? Why don't we have them now?

I think we talked about this on like episode one. I think what happened was every movie started starring the rock. And while I think the rock is a very fun dynamic person and persona, it's like he's too in the know of how he is. So there's, there's kind of like, not like a rough charm to him, like leading men in adventure films .

Don't think the rock is like remotely attractive.

I'm with you on that. I know that's like not a popular opinion. Like I would love to be his friend. I think he does .

No, I wouldn't say he's like the rock ugly. Like I don't think that, like, I think, I think he's like a handsome guy gross. Yeah. I don't think he, like , I think he's a handsome guy. Like it is what it is, but I don't think he's like ugly. I just don't find him to be like a sexual person. Yeah .

I don't like I find him about as sexy as Laura Linney. Like

Yeah. They're attractive, but they're not like

Something about like , yeah. I think that they, I think the adventure films became too polished. And then what took over is like the fast and furious franchise. Like it became about like cars. I know you love that. Paul also loves them so much.

I would love to talk to Paul about it. If we do a podcast about Fasten period would want to be on, it

Will be guest star because he loves those films so much. When my grandma died,

All the ways would do the car screech when it , you know,

When my grandma was dying from Alzheimer's sorry. When my grandma was dying from Alzheimer's in , um, South Carolina, I was visiting with her. I mean, she was like literally on her death bed dying. And she was, it was bad. And I knew it was the last time I was going to see her. And so I like, yeah ,

It's making this more. Every sentence you say is making it more and more depressing.

I didn't even tell you about the color of her hands, which all will haunt me for the rest of my life. Anyway. So as I was leaving, I was like, that was the last time, like I'm never going to see , I'm never going to see Gabby again. And she was like my favorite person ever of all time. And I get in my car and I did turn on the radio. Cause it was all I had in the car and I turned the radio on and

It's been, I don't know . Oh, that's tough.

And I started driving and it was like,

Yeah. And I was sobbing. I don't blame you the windows down, like

In South Paul Walker.

No, I saw Gabby just like driving by me and her, like in like a sick way , brew STI.

She just like kicked us into third and like peeled out and to heaven.

The thing is, is like, when I, I don't know how many times you've seen fast and furious seven, but eight meat . No, seriously. I watch it all the time. And that end of that movie, I am like, I sobbed like a baby when I watched the jury quarantine when I was in a deep depression.

I mean, I can't, I can't, I can't deal with it. I can't look at his daughter's Instagram without crying. Like

It's anything I know. And he was so handsome

And he was so handsome. He was so. And he would have gotten like Paul Newman better with age.

Oh my God. He would have been our actions.

I think, I think he really, I think he really, he really would have he, he, okay. So that's what happens at action guide with Paul Walker. I mean we case case closed podcast,

What would you think? Like he would, okay. I could talk about Paul. I have goosebumps. Cause I love Paul Walker so much, but like

I just have like that song blaring in my head right now.

Nobody. What's the name of that kid that sings it.

I don't , I only know like, was Khalifa's name. I don't know any of it . I don't know any other names of any person.

It's that guy anyway. Um, I, okay. Do you have whatever? I don't even know if this is

Well , we'll figure out how to podcast at sun .

Something that I find interesting, which I don't think anyone else will . So I probably shouldn't even like go into this, but like, do you ever, like, were you ever in like an English class where they like cold where they talked about why books were published at certain times? Because of like, you know, like political climate

Here were the pamphlets that were produced and above . Yeah .

Like, yeah. And they were like, or like during the cold war, like Russians were always bad guys on television. And like, that's why like during, like after nine 11, the only bad guys you ever saw on TV were Muslim. And I feel like during the nineties we were, the country is being run by like a fun sax playing blow job , getting like pervy bro guy. And I think that's why all the movies were like fun adventure films.

So what you're saying is Bush did nine 11 and ended action adventure and killed Paul Walker and killed Paul Walker. Okay. I mean, it honestly all makes sense when now it's all coming together. Yeah, we did it. Okay guys, while we solved another case on, sorry, I don't do not stand by the opinions of your co-host of this podcast.

I'm sorry that sometimes we choose a movie that like, doesn't really like, you know ,

He was good. It's just like this , this , this night got off to a weird start. Cause my kid wouldn't stop and crying.

Yeah. I think that we got through what we needed to . I've said I was spoken about all of my notes.

I mean, I'll take one last look. I told you guys about Tim Curry

And you didn't get any more, so you didn't get any questions?

No , I just got like thoughts.

I did say poor Richard, poor Richard who like died. He was the first one to get killed by the monkeys.

Yeah. Um, I wrote, okay, this movie is like legit. Good. I don't think I meant that.

So, but the theory , so here's we talked about like remakes of movies and like reboots. And normally I don't like that. Like normally I get upset about reboots, but this is a movie that I actually think would fare well with a reboot. If it was done properly,

The rock would be in it. He would play.

No, he wouldn't play. He would play Ernie and hopefully just be CGI. Was there someone in an Amy suit? Yes, they were all, they were all little people in monkeys.

That's so not. Okay. Yeah .

I know. That's why I couldn't. There was a point where like one of them was like grabbing one and you could clearly tell it was a person in the monkey suit. And I was like, this is weird. This is like, what are those people who are sexually attracted to people and animals suits called furries ? Yeah. It was like that. It was like a , no me .

You're not a furry . I guess I last don't really is movies. Like this make me realize how fast I die in an intense adventure situation. I would be dead so fast. Like I can't. Yeah .

If the hippopotamus, if that hippopotamus opened its mouth to me, I would make a very stupid decision of some kind and just be like, off. Like, I'd be dead.

I would, I would be, I would be like, do you guys have any , um , lava pit that I can jump into? Cause I would like to

Like, I'll just jump right? Cause you'd probably die immediately. Right?

I would, I still have asked , like I would, I don't, like I said, I have no upper body strength. I'm not agile. I only have like strong Hungarian legs. If they needed me to pull stuff to safety ,

It's strong. I have wicked strong legs. And there was a six month period where I could do like 10 pull-ups 10 at a time. It was a six month . But yeah, I had beat. Yeah. I was never done one pull-up . I was like 26 and I was going to the gym twice a day.

I was bulimic and going to the gym twice a day. I still couldn't do a pull-up cause I would just go to the gym to throw up. So

I'm not laughing. I don't, I w I'm sorry, you guys, I have some , like,

I can make fun of it to myself,

But the thing is, is like every time you say something that's like off color , like I laugh hysterically, but like I'm not laughing at the topic. It's okay. It's okay. I'm laughing at the timing. It's fine. Does anyone? I think that one's loaded . I finished the Manny series. I think that we should do a show about the nanny

Zack , you know, I already said I'd pay you to do it.

I think we'll , I think we're going to do it. I had a lot of extra time in the last 48 hours. So I think I just, I think I like skyrocketed ahead of you.

You did. I'm the not you're on season six. I'm still on season.

I just started season three, episode one. Okay.

We're going to do the nanny, but like, I think this is like a good place to just say

Goodbye. Yeah. Forever. It's a good, this is a good place to say goodbye. Amy, hang out a sea crest.

See crest out. See crest out. What is dumb line. All right , doc. Where can people

At Zack Mellon on Instagram and on Apple music. And what do you do now? I have a letter box. No. And

What did I, what assignment? Oh,

Oh. And at the mummy dearest podcast on Instagram, Zach is running the account now running the account. Thank you so much for saying that it's so fun getting it has yeah. It gets you on the attraction . Yeah. Like it gets a lot of like , um, interaction. Like

I know that you have taken over and you have just made it so good. I , I knew you. I knew you could. And I knew you would. That's why I was like, it's your turn. It's your time.

You're doing a great toll is 4 million followers by June.

Please guys like actually follow it because it's super interesting. And Zach posts like literally posts , photos of celebrities from the nineties I've never seen. And

So like good. I just don't know if anyone understands, like the depth, like I hunt for photos that no one has ever seen.

Like , we could have one of those accounts where people like , literally come because we have

The content like development. Yeah. Like you're that level of good shot. Oh

I'm not kidding you. I've never seen that picture of Roseburg and Heath ledger. Like I couldn't even believe it.

It's such a hot picture. I was like, they were on their way to see they were on their way to see goddess

A hundred thousand percent. They were

Here . You guys were going to be able to find you

Find me crying in the shower or on Instagram at I am Sloan steel or at, Oh my erotica. That's O H my erotica. And you'll never find me on letterbox, even if it's

I'm so sorry. You find me on face , on my face. Do you have to make it my Facebook? So don't even look,

You guys can find me on my live journal. Integral

On tumbler. If I'm in tumbler at Zack's history with Doppler, I loved tumbler. Yeah. Okay. Oh guys. Also thank you so much for the reviews this week. Yeah .

Keep them coming. It fuels us. We need them and download them. Download this episode or throw this episode in the trash. We'll see.

We will see you next week with special guests and people .

Hi , you guys. I'm I'm out.

Bye. Thanks for listening to the mummy DEROS podcast. See you next time. And remember you don't read from the book of the dead [inaudible] Oh , shoot my friend . I'll tell you . Stop eating my Sesame cake.