Self Love

of us together than second. Now second, just say it. Don't talk about that. Well, this is I'm your girl, Patt CV be small Angelique here a C. What does Brett? What do you mean? Like Bree T A C. My last name, her last name Italian TC. That's the last name. Yeah, I thought it was initial. So the T A C that's how you say it. But it's T I E s I oh t A C. That's we're thinking of tank oh I Like you wouldn't a an Italian last name, but d A cut with that? Who's the god mom M?

I gotta think I don't know. You have so many close friends and and you have a lot of close friends too. I know the guy Mama baby Megan, I exactly. I don't have that yet because I have so many close friends. Yeah, so think about it deep and who has the most money? All right, So we're going listen, we're gonna kick this show off. Always do a toast, So who's gonna do the toast? Free? You got it? Okay,

let me let me think. You know, I hate these moments. Guys, go ahead, I had, but I would do with mine at the end, the roundup toast. I don't know, guys, toast us. I love y'all podcast. We got so much coming, like so much, so much in store, so much in store, and I'm gonna add to that my um. I could say this at the end, okay, real quick. My dad used always tell me. Because I had a conversation with my dad recently and I was like, why did you

tell me this? Why did you tell me that? He was like, well, I told you, but in a simple way, he was like, when you any time you leave the house, I used to always tell you to think. That's all he would say. He wouldn't have no, don't do this as a boy. He wouldn't don't drink. He would just be like, think before you do something. Think, like basically, your heart and your intuition and your yourself will let you know what's right and wrong. So just think when

you make decisions. Think before you do something. Think before you speak out of character. Just think. I think, especially in moments of anger because usually those kinds of emotions um take you to a place that you don't want to be, and then you do things that you regret and it's harder to undo than to avoid. So, like in jamaicause, prevention is better than cure. So you want to prevent rather than trying to figure out and fix

it at the end. And it's dope because think before you sleep with your best friends, you know, um the thing, before you let your back down on his twin bed, Think your legs. That's that's I love your daddy for that. That is not what the that's what he was saying. It's think because if you didn't think about it, then

you know some people thinking still do it. Yeah, so think before you sleep with your best oh boy friends, homeboy, or your ex homeboy, your ex best friend homeboy, what's up your ex best friends, your ex best friends or your home girl. No, my if I had a friend. I'm saying if I had an ex boyfriends best friends. Yeah, okay, I'm saying I ain't do that. What's letting you know who the fun is? Harreek? Yeah? Want you go to school together today. We're gonna do a few topics. We're

gonna the juicy jar. Well you know, I mean, I do it. What's the name of the jar? This is the juice bar the wild' not juice by where we have all these juice jar juice jar. So we have all these scenarios in here, questions, truth um in here. So let's pick one up. I like to dig deep, dig deep. Do believe colorism is the real thing? Absolutely, absolutely absolutely. We can't ignore it. We can't ignore the facts. We're still evolving, we're still growing. Um, the world. When

I say we, I mean the world in general. And yes, I do believe colorism is. Do you think do you believe it's taught and not? That's lightly just well you know, some people think like it's just like, oh, this is how we are and don't realize like it stems from a deeper place. Yeah, taught. We're gonna say, oh you just it's yeah, yeah, you don't just come out of the wound. Even when you look at kids and you see stuff they don't. They don't see that. Yeah, and

that's that innocence. You only know that because it's instilled. There's something you're hearing. It's around your skin color. You're this you just make up and be like I don't like that. Yeah. Yeah, it's unlike crazy, especially coming from Jamaica. So we didn't see colors, and we saw classism, but we didn't care about your skin as on us in your brain you're smart, like, we didn't care what you looked like or so I really experienced that when I moved to the US. How old do you when you

moved here? I was seventeen, okay, yeah, so I went through my entire life in Jamaica and then coming to see that here, it was just a big eye open. What's your opinion on me? Baby? Go out and bring me that switch? What that switch? Think about it? Um? For me? Um? It's crazy. I mean, like like Brees said, it's you don't wake up with hating your heart. You don't wake up pointing fingers and I'm gonna do this

because how you look or the color your skin. So it's really what's taught in your home or your upbringing. So it could be your surroundings though, because sometimes you know, especially in a single parent household, the parent isn't present a lot, and so you know, the kids either at their friend's house or after school activities, so you know, you gather a lot unabsorble a lot from that type

of environment as well. We'll be right back after this swing a while in our podcast Welcome back everyone as a woman of while in our podcast where we control the mic, we were talking about some juicy information before you know it colors from is Real and you know, had a I think good conversation on it. Conversation. Yeah, so we're just gonna continue with different topics and just we have topped up the jar of surprises, the juice jar. But before we pull out another one at the juice jar,

I'm actually going to hand it down to y'all. Okay, perfect, But Beana has a topic that she wanted to say. Bless you, bless you. It's something on you, b because I had not come in here. Sneeze. You've been sneezing all day, okay, so you know, um, just you know, riding in the van, getting our day started in the morning, and you know, these topics came to my spirit and I just wanted to talk to my girls about it and just see you out. You know I feel about it.

But loving yourself first, and I say that because a man can't heal your trauma. Um And what do you guys think about that? When I say loving yourself first, I don't even think it has to do with a man. I think has with your mom, your family, your friends, whether it's a man, whoever. You know. I feel like a lot of people live for other people. Even I'm going to college for my parents. I hate hearing that I hate her, and that what is in your heart,

in your spirit. I'm not telling anybody to just drop out of college, but anything you do in your life, if you're doing it for other people, you will never be happy. And that comes with self love. Once you love yourself first, there are certain things you won't put up with. There's things you're just not gonna do. Like my grand able to Atlanta, Georgia. She was like, come on home. No, I had to leave my family to follow my dreams and put myself first, whether your grandmother,

your sister, or whatever. So loving yourself first comes with not disappointing, but you know, not living for other people. Well that's the thing. So like when you love yourself, you actually are able to learn a lot about yourself. Things you like, things you don't like. So if somebody comes into your life real quick, you know, you just know, as you said, red flags, you get to show it

real quinstantly you know yourself. You're like, Okay, I put myself in this position or I've learned this about myself. If I do this, I know it's going to end bad. So if you make that decision, anything that comes after that it's on you. So like when you go through that process of loving yourself, I think you also become

more peaceful. So when you're peaceful, you're better for other people better and you're not happy and or at peace, you're always trying to make other people happy, and energy is going to over into everything that you do and everyone that you contact with. But also if you have patterns, you're attracting the same things, it's easier to reconniver. Sure.

I mean I go about just saying like this, like I said before, shout out to my mentor for just you know, sharing her um her experience in this industry, and if she wasn't happy, then she just really felt like she couldn't be happy with just around other people and just for people because she had to like give sent to herself and it's not going good for me. And I can't show you the hundred percent me right now, so I gotta close in which we all do that

as humans. Sometimes we don't. We don't want to pick up the phone, we don't want to talk because we're not in a good place. And I think loving yourself is like one of my things I'm doing now, like just to love by our party, loving myself, loving Divana, Eric Excel, loving Pretty v love and ving loving the CEO, loving just loving the comedian, like just loving me and

just knowing me all over again. And when I say can a man heal your trauma, A lot of women you know, tend to, you know, be comfortable in that because they really feel like, well, I got daddy issues. I'm gonna run on and John because John showed me how to live. But then John beating you up, or John doing this, so John do that, or John talking down or you don't. That's not love, that's actually fear.

That's actually tormoil. That's depression, that's anxiety. You know, that's a lot that's manipulating, controlling, and they don't love themselves. They constant domino effect. If you don't heal and break those curses, like we talked about before, it's going to happen to the next generation, in the next generation, in the next generation of you know, it's just not gonna stop until you stop in your tracks and heal from your trauma. I think that it's our responsibility to, like

before we have kids and trust these things. When that baby pops out, you have no time. You have to give yourself to that being whatever you are exactly, so you have to be really you have to think twice maybe five times, and decide, you know, I might at a place in my life where if another human being mirrors my life? What life that like? What you're looking at? Because I have a girlfriend that's like, oh girl, she's just like me. I'm like, is that good? I don't know.

She's like I see things and she's like even like hand movements and certain things she does, and she was like I really started working on that. You know, she wasn't even conscious of it, which is crazy and she's cute when she's too Oh, she just out and I think too is what you see when you um when

you're young. I mean I've watched getting you know, just being young people that was just abusive and just different things and you just find it to be loved Like I want to make that's aggressive, Like I want that type of talk. I want somebody to put me in check. And I and I spoke to this guy one day. My girlfriend was with me and he was just so positive. He was just telling me all the things I wanted to hear. And I was like this. I was like,

what are you? I said, oh my god, why And she's like, girl, please take your toxic as right, Like girl, like this person right the toxicity of it. So that's why I was like, you're right, you know, let me switch some things up because that's all you know, or that's all you feel like that's what love is. But I'm here to tell you, baby, that's not what love is. That's going to say something. You're gonna have headaches, the mind,

grain pills gonna run out. Girl, You're gonna be overthinking how many how many times you're gonna go to bar as a noble to read about your mind when you can hear it first, and that's by loving yourself. So that's why I want to top on, you know, go on that subject to talk about loving yourself first, that a man cannot hear your trauma. I've never dated a man to heal me. I've never I've probably dated a man to just make sure, like just love on me for a quick second, but I have never dated him

to heal me. I've never dated him to give me something because I could do it myself and I've been doing it stuff. Yeah, um, well, I think we should get into another question to say that it was a great topic. I must say I'm scared of this. I feel like they've been pretty good. Yeah, I'm waiting for one of those like wild one. I got a question that's talking about about it. Yeah, the question of the day. Would you ever date a mama's boy? So I would it? Just all right? So I read a book and it

basically I was teaching me about masculine feminine. So it's not anything about gender. It's more like traits. So masculine has like a direction um, purpose driven protection providing and sometimes you know, in the household, especially if it's a single household, you get more of one of the you know, one of the traits. So it just depends on if he's been able to build up his masculinity with a strong femininity around him. That is the determinant for everything.

In my opinion, I feel like mama boys are great. I've had the best experience. I feel like there's so much more loving and compassionate, and they like think and they're more cautious of their actions and the respectful to women and just things that you're like okay, hey, I'm okay, I want you around my family, or if I had a daughter, I could trust you in that space. Like there's such a I feel like they're so different. Mama's boys like mama's I've never dealt with the Mama's boy

that was overdid it? Mama? Now? You know? Definitely almost? But yeah, I mean I got two times that thing. I mean, it could be very much. Mamma is Mamma Dad, Mamma is Shirlett is shut d you say, you say Shirley Mama's name, this, this, this, that, And then it could be one that's like you know, like I live on the down and you know, sometimes to be your mama got to approve this. Mama got to be on a tax form. I gotta be on the house. But you have like mama did, what about me? You gotta

call your MoMA because we got an argument. Let's talk about it. Yeah, you know, mama did, so it could go both ways. Now it's cute, but sometimes it's overdoing it. Mama gotta I gotta check mom. Like man cut friend, Why don't you call me to see But what arguments? Do you call your mom like and let her know about to do? Yeah? Yeah, but it's a difference. Sometimes we get it. And it's just like when you when you form a union and it's you and him. It's

you and him here. Now if you feel like you got to go outside to get another opinion, cool, but don't have me Sureley calling my phone like I just talked to my husband. I love you. This is me and this is me and um John, don't call him. I don't this John boy. I'm just writing our names.

So what about this like um group type living, you know, like village because in the village, it's like you have your elders for the advice for um, you know, just guiding you through certain situations as long as it's not too overdone, right, I totally believe in the village. But what people don't understand is we're not even that close. Right. Anything that I do in this vicinity, in this nasty anything some way it was like it was I think

it was art, then my toe and my shop. Someone like me when I'm next, She's like that bunyan against my nose. It was right here, did you come back up? Look? It was not it was never like that. It was never like that. It was never it was like, right, how about you give me to look at girls? But yeah, everything that you do in a y of people, it affect affects something that pisces now off and now is a producer, and he said something to naked Now Nick is your boss. It went down a trickle effect, and

now it affects Crystal. So you have to watch out what you do. It takes a village. Just like if I mean to talking to a boo. You got your little boo and he do something, it's going to affect me because I'm one of your close friends. It's gonna affect her mood, it's gonna affect her how her day goes and I'm with her today, so that's gonna affect me. It could even affect me if I like cross your path at the wrong time and then I get the

wrong impression. So it's like it takes a village. So everybody affects everybody, and people have to understand that you're not just living for yourself and affecting yourself, you affect everybody around you. So but I do think it takes a village to rage his child. My puppy is not with me right now, and he is at school, yes, and we're peen at a daddy house. Everything's good. I spoke n this morning, so good. Who's his daddy? Ronnie? Personal life? Do we make time for a personal life?

You don't remember, Ronnie were high school together. I don't. I don't. You got show a picture? Okay, personal life? Personal life? Do we make time for that? Well, what's your definition of personal life? Because like I feel like as an entrepreneur, your personal and business are kind of in day line, and especially because what do you take time for you? Because I have to self care is if I'm not taken care of, like, I can't do

my best. So I think that even though sometimes we think, hey, I could use this five minutes to work, But when are you going to take five minutes for yourself? Because if you burn out like that, you're replaced, So you it's better that you just maintain a consistency self love, self care, and when you have a whole village on your back, you gotta take care of your family businesses. You're gonna need that time. I just started doing that back um last year November when I had COVID, I

would take care of myself. Like after COVID, like, I was like, December, I'm gonna figure things out. January came, I was like, I took moments off, like the weekends, and I don't want to be bothered if I told my manager, if I can't do it, I'm not gonna do it. February came, I was like, okay. March came. We went to Cancoon, but it was work, so I was there relaxed. So to me, I didn't know the

importance of mental health. Um, you know how how deep that word is now, because when you hear mental health, you hear a straight jacket. Here, su what's sad? But it's crazy this But it's not all about that. It could be overthinking. It could be anxiety depression for that, like you work out, you take your meditation, Like what is it? I googled um when I had COVID, and I said, what do I do when I'm overthinking? How

can I relax my mind? Um? One? We are known as Christians, you know from me, I run to the word first, or my mom since she's my pastor. But I to think about it. I said, my mom has she's she's she's done her moments in her life. She's she's a pastor, she who she is. But what about me, the one that has to entertain people, that has to be on a hundred every day or maybe people laugh? So I need to figure out a routine during COVID.

When it happened back in March, first person I called with Charlemagne and I said, Charlotte, like I'm already thinking, I mean, dag were gonna be out of work, but not knowing, like once you're tied into other businesses like stores that's closing, then you're closed, you know, if you have to figure out how you gonna make your money. So what I came up with, I pray right and I create. So I used to pray, write my thoughts down right what I see for myself? How can I

get these goals done? And I create them? So that's yeah. So that's when I found out I could do all this ship in my house. Just because it's over for not over boat. Just because we're on the stands it right now doesn't mean I can't beat myself. So that's how I started to like get myself together mentally. But also I found the trainer pretty fit j and we was working out, but we I fell off because I got so busy again the world stout of slowly but

surely open it back up. So the workout does help, you know, Reading girls help reading writing your devotions in the morning, sometimes I go back to it. Sometimes I just look at something that I wrote down. Shout out to my assist Karashif vote and beautiful. This is a book I only read a couple of little pages, but only the woman got made you to be like. That helps too, because when you have someone that has been through what you've been through and they could write about it,

I think that's dope. So you could. I'm reading me, you know, um, So that's what helped me and healed me actually, and I'm still healing. You know, um, we do have long hollers when you when you have COVID. I was scared to go to sleep because my chest was hurting out. My chest was burning like I had to walk around my neighborhood like ten times each day. The foods that I was eating, I had to I lost a lot of weight er I got pictures in my phone. My body was saggy like it was bad.

You know my homeboy coms like Yo VI, you lost a lot of weight. But my scheme was so pretty because I was detoxing myself. But I was I was detoxing my life too. I was de talking things that I was in taking the talking and friends that I don't talk to anymore, and I I should hang up the phone with him, while am I having conflisceed with you? And you're not even give me nothing positive or just things that I'm not gonna do. Once I get out the space, God had to sit me down to know

me all over again. So what I did I did was prey. Writing and creating and just working out was the biggest thing for me. And then I, like I said, I slowly, I slowed down with that because now we're back working, but I have to put that back in my routine because it's helpful working recently. Yeah, Simon is she doesn't got a whole brand off be simone fit,

So it's so it's more than I always say. It's in my captions and on the smone fit page because you you know, you understand body shaming when you're trying to change your body. Why you ain't skinny yet? Why are you? Damn you've been working out for three months. The mind, it's about your mind, discipline, consistency. Once you master those things, commitment. If you can't control what you're putting into your mouth, to me, that's a problem and

I'm still struggling with that. Over eating, binge eating, indulging in unhealthy food. Once you control your mind and you master that, the body will follow. I'm not worried about changing my body overnight. I'm worried about being consistent and diligent in a routine that I haven't done for thirty years, so slowly changing. I think fitness has changed my life tremendously, tremendously to be a little chubby, chubby really definitely over

eating too much because there's like no stop are you hungry? Yeah, okay, come cultural. When you don't eat, its fool about to throw up. She it's disrespectful if you don't take food from my grandma. It's like she cook just randomly hoping people come over so she can feed you. And then if you don't take it, she's like, oh, you want to to go plate, Okay, I could put in the container. You could take it and you can have later. It's like, yeah, okay, no problem, let me just take. I was just I

was asize eight in college. I mean we think it was the freshman What do you know? I'm asized for Really, I do anything to be eight. I was a size for What's I mean? It fluctuates weekly. One week, if I eat healthy, I'm super slim and just things are just sidding up the next week if I'm running around tripping. Is you know, so, Brie, what do you do? Oh? I'm obsessed with working out? Really well, I'm eating her body? Can you just show your do you you have a

good diet to I do? But I've noticed that I feel sick when I eat bad. Like I grew up, my mom's nutrition is my dad is an athlete, so like I grew up super healthy and for me, I honestly feel like ship when I start eating like that or drinking or like prying. Um. But like working out is the number one thing for my mental I know, I cry, am. I work out a lot. Literally, I connect that workout with I'm going through in my life. I cry. I'm like, if I can make it through this,

I can make it through everything else. Pushing through you know Famost it's like this. I relate that to so much in my life. Yeah. I did that too. When she had a pretty fit, um, she's so so so so dope. I did um. We worked out like seven o'clock in the morning. She's like, I'm gonna do this for you because you want changeing, you want this to be seen, and I want to see you win. And I understand you do it. And I was like, okay, jee,

I'm gonna get up. So we was doing We was laying down, breathe and b I could probably relate or Crystal like. We were laying out and what's the thing on me? Had to put your legs in it and you lift your leg up. Yeah yeah, yeah, the legs And I was like, oh my, but she put mad weights on me. She's like, you better live up the seventy. I'm like you at your alone for a second. Yeah, I'm like day one. Yeah. She was like, you can

do it. She said you could do it. And I was thinking about everything that I every every person that try to say gonna do be ship, do this, all that stuff. I was like, I could do it. I could do it. So I could relate to that because I was staying in my mind I could do it. I could do it. And then when I was like like, okay, what was it she said, she tapped me. She said, I get up, Let's do it again. It's weekend, this weekend.

So that's how it is with training. Though they're like being gonna push through this, You're gonna up when while they now get hard, you're gonna give up when you gotta push that baby out. You don't give up when this turmoil on your relationship, and then you're not giving up on this. So it fitness correlates so much with mental health in your everyday life. And that's what they had it on Google. Work out really to make sure

your mentor is good and you balance um. But it's please work out, you release all these endorphints, Like people don't understand that this is like a real thing that we go through and like my body is a machine. Just feel good, No, it's you're really releasing endorphins like this is what helps so much with depression, your confidence stuff. And then d C spoke about that on stage today we talked about the mind and everything, just how that's

the whole computer. We remember everything. We were sided back in our head when the brain mind say go this way, we say go this way to brain. I go right, it's good over here. Yeah. So for me, um, I definitely um give a lot of my balance to nature. Yeah. So like in the mornings, a lot of plants, So I wake up early and I take care of my plant. It helps me to like because you know sometimes you wake up early in the morning, first thing you do is go into your phone. Um, then you start listening

to music, then you start doing all that stuff. I start my day focusing on like nature, balancing, grounding myself so I can attack the day, like how I need to start finish how you start? But how do you start your day? And what is your routine and how are you going to balance your life? Your life? Just a woman while in that podcast, and we'll be right back at this point. Al Right, guys, welcome back to the Women while our podcast where we control the mic.

We're going to get into some what is it love kill? Carlos Changey said, Mary's said, that's my p I hate that word. D SK just hate the word why I hate the word pussy? D I c K. So Penis Yeah, like peep, little peep. I could say, buddy, how's your can say? Like in Jamaica and referring Toms, Penis is a buddy. Yeah, And it was all, um, what's the other one for pompom the cat cat the nookie? Yeah, the cookie? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, it's like one girl,

that rapper girl. They'd be on the shade room. I like her. Actually she's so fu Okay, so we're gonna do Maryhill. I don't know that. So who would you name? People? Who would you would you? Mary? Who would you kill? Okay? Okay, so Dancy wait wait damn okay, go ahead, Washington back in the Malcolm X days, um T and ice Cube no not naking lord? Um a little dirk, A little dirk? Is that the Okay? So which one you would you she's not start T and ice Cube. I think I

would marry huh happened? Oh sorry? Um, I think I would marry Denzel. I would suck T I and Kile who's ask you? Yeah? He is so cute to me. Ice Cube, you are good. When he said come back to my show, I was like, covid happened? But when you come like me know all right? I think I think to know more Denzel for the fun. Mary. As far as like how I've seen the whole family, I would say, Will Smith, that was not even option. I'm just saying, and then started option. You cannot do that.

It's t I. I didn't even know this game three man, I listed said Will Smith, okay, okay, and Jesus Christ would be my husband. Okay. So as you said, um, Denzel Washington, TI, ice Cube, Mary Kue, Okay, So Denzel and I Cube in that order, Denzel, t I and I marry T I kill ice Cube. Yeah, everybody's killing Cube. Whoever asked I gotta do it? Oh no, that's not how the game play. That's my rules. I went first, Mary, Kay,

I would definitely, Um, I would marry Denzel. M I would have said, because I don't like the word f ice cube, but I will kill you. That's mine too. I'm thinking about it like when you're married, you have sex, so I should have probably thought about So here's here's mine. So I have sex with Wait, I'm not saying f Marky. I'm not saying the f work. I mean just say okay, I just say f work f um. But you don't listen.

Are you saying? You know? I'm saying Lebron James, Okay, um, Trey Songs, M and um Steve Harvey that it's so hard. It's like I'm just saying killed Steve, Mary, Lebron James. I'm so sorry. Savannah, you follow me. I love you so much. But out of these three, it seems like the because I would have married Train, nor would Yeah, I would just do it to Tray. Yeah, I love you, Savanna. This is hypothetical. Yeah what you think? Um? That would sleep with Trey Songs? I would marry Lebron. Yeah? What

about you know? Because I ask the question the game I just did a girl, I'm saying, you make it the names now. Oh okay, so we're out that game com te talk, tea talk and dad talk. What about you now like, no, well you already know what time it is? Is the Woman of Walden. What the well you already know what time it is. It's the Woman of Walnut podcast. And I'm your girl, pretty TV Crystal And to leave here t a c. This is road call and he another cup. Hey, as you're gonna do it?

Yeah yeah, um the croat is you and I that's a unity because I think, like as we spoke about earlier, you know, it takes a village and that has to do with unity and exactly. You know, I believe no money is an island. Like as as much as you are a provider, you can't do it by yourself. Unity, you know. And I see why who was at aquiality girl, I was gonna sit all right, we all we all see it. Bye bye s