Hey, guys. Welcome to the podcast. Today is a special solo episode where I'm going to talk to you guys about the 5 ways to overcome imposter syndrome. So this is something that just kinda came about. Wanted to share this with you guys and hope that it's helpful. I think you'll like it. Don't forget to follow me on LinkedIn and try to join us for MSL talk live, which is once a month. It's typically in the beginning of the month. It's on the LinkedIn platform.
It's usually on Tuesdays at 1:30 PM EST, but definitely follow on LinkedIn so you can see the announcements on exactly when they are, and we hope you can join us. And thank you as always for your support of this show. Welcome to MSL Talk with Tom Caravella, a podcast specifically designed for MSLs and all things field medical. Okay. Once again, welcome, and thank you for joining me for this special solo episode.
I was actually compelled to have this conversation because I ran into somebody recently. I just got back from the American Society of Hematology Conference and met a bunch of people, had a bunch of great conversations, and I was talking to somebody. And this topic keeps actually coming up, and it's about imposter syndrome. And so I have this conversation with this one dude, awesome guy, and and he was like, I don't know, Tom.
He goes, lately, some days I wake up and I'm like, man, why do I stink so much? And, you know, I I it it kinda resonated with me in the sense that I think, number 1, we all do that. All of us. Every single one of us. We we we're our own worst critic and our own worst enemy sometimes. And I thought, you know what? I need to I've talked about this before. This is something that I just talked to my coaching program about, and I've had a lot of conversations recently about this.
So I wanted to bring this topic to this podcast. It'll be quick. We're not gonna spend a whole lot of time, but I do wanna share the 5 ways to overcome impostor syndrome. But before I get into that, let me give you the definition at least of what I was able to find of what impostor syndrome is, just so you guys know if you're not familiar.
So impostor syndrome, I found, is the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills. So in a nutshell, anytime you doubt yourself, you doubt where you are in life and why you're there, or you doubt your ability, you are struggling with imposter syndrome. That's pretty much what it is. So just look at it as it's just a fancy word for doubt.
So anytime you doubt yourself, you wake up and there's self doubt, and you start to second guess yourself or your abilities, that's basically a form of impostor syndrome. And I wanna share a personal story with you guys. So when I first started my business a 1000000 years ago no. It was actually, like, over 20 years ago. And for those of you that don't know what I do for a living, I'm not just a podcaster.
I own and run an executive search firm, so I'm basically a recruiter, a headhunter, specifically for the pharmaceutical and biotech industries. And many years ago, I went to and exhibited at my first conference. So which was kind of a big step for me because at the time I mean, I literally I think I had one employee. We had just started out. I had never done that before. There was a it was, at the time, a big investment for me.
I think it was like $5,000, which probably cost a little more than that with travel and whatever else. But let's just let's call it 5,000, which might as well have been 50,000. Like, that was huge for me back then. And it was in Philadelphia, and I show up, and I am completely unprepared in the sense that I have no booth, no display, no fancy marketing program system departments that are helping me get ready for this. I literally, on a whim, went to this conference.
Got a booth in exhibit space or whatever, but had nothing more than literally a sign that I had made up at, like, I don't know if it was, like, you know, Staples or Kinko's or, like, sign a rama or something. So literally, there was no table cloth, no tchotchkes or giveaways. There was just me and this sign, which when I got there and I saw the magnitude of all of the other, like, there were competitors of mine that were much bigger than me that were there.
All these other companies, tech companies, and companies in the pharmaceutical space as vendors that had these really fancy nice booths with LED lights and all this other stuff. And here I am with my son. Totally embarrassed, totally outmanned, outmatched, but I was there. And I'm like, okay. I'm gonna make the best of this, see what happens. Well, it was a disaster. In in my mind, it was a disaster.
I just looked around and I was felt like everybody else was getting attention, and all the other, you know, competitors and and other people that were there were worthy of being there, and I was just embarrassed of me and my my stupid little sign. Well, as I'm wallowing in my own self loathing and looking around and ending everybody else that's doing their thing and sitting there saying to myself, well, you know, you're not good enough. You should never come here.
You stay, fold up, you know, go home. The conference pretty much was about to wrap up. It was, like, almost done. Everybody was, like, literally getting ready to wrap up their boots. I was just gonna grab my stupid sign of me. This woman walks up to the booth, walks right up to me, looked at me like as if she knew me, and she said, oh, I recognize the name of your company. She's like, I you know, I've actually spoken to Bob. Now Bob's my one employee.
And well, story short, this woman, Jennifer, at the 11th hour, at the very, very end of that conference, came up and had a conversation and said that she was going to be building out a team soon, and she was gonna consider having us do the recruiting for her to build out this team. So I get her a business card. She takes mine, and she leaves. We go our separate ways. So fast forward, I'm in the car on my way home from this conference, and I'm talking to my wife. And she's like, how did it go?
She's like, all excited. I'm like, it was the biggest waste of my time and my money. I'm an embarrassment. It's an embarrassment. I stink. I can't compete with these people. What am I doing? I don't even know what I'm doing. And just on and off. Just beating myself up. And she just kinda sat there. My wife, by the way, is like she's my biggest fan. She's this woman has picked me up off the mat more than I can say I've needed to be picked up off the mat and has been my biggest supporter.
And so she listens to me talk about how much I stink and listening to this whole impostor syndrome rant. And then finally, she just at like, lets me go, and then she said, tell me one positive thing that happened when you were there. And I'm like, yeah, man. You know what? Like, she that was brilliant.
And I didn't expect it, but I I just I said, well, at the very end, this woman came up to me and gave me your card and said she might build an up team and might wanna use my services and, you know, and and and that that might be something. She said, well, let's just focus on that. Maybe that's why you were meant to be there. Maybe that was the whole purpose for you being there. So guys, fast forward, I'm not making this up. Fast forward, I did build her a team.
I actually built several teams for that person. I still keep in touch with her to this day. She's been one of my greatest clients. I've actually play I actually placed her in her current role, and we've become colleagues, friends, clients. And from that $5,000 investment, I can't tell you the return that I got off of that. So moral of the story, all of that self loathing, all of that imposter syndrome, all of the misery I put myself through was for absolutely nothing.
That whole entire story I told myself was a bunch of lies, and there was just a bunch of untruths that I was telling myself because I was struggling with imposter syndrome, because I was looking around at everybody else, and I was judging myself based upon everything else that I saw. So I'm bringing this story to you guys, and I'm bringing this topic to you guys because there's a lot of people that I talk to now that are going through a difficult time. Maybe you're going through a layoff.
Maybe you're you're the company that you're working for was just acquired, and you're not sure what's gonna happen. Or maybe you had a bad year. Maybe this year, maybe you're an entrepreneur. Maybe you're a business owner, maybe you're in some line of work where this year was down, and it wasn't what you you didn't hit your goals, it wasn't what you expected, and you're just getting affected by the economy or whatever else. Well, we all have the tendency to wanna beat ourselves up and say, okay.
I stake. And it's all me, and it's all because of me. And that piece is what I wanna talk about today. That piece is what I wanna change. Hey, guys. I'm coming to you talking to you about this because I obviously have had a history of doing this, and I still do it. I still am way too hard on myself. Doesn't matter how much I've accomplished and what I have going on. We have this tendency to go to the negative sometimes and beat ourselves up. So we're gonna talk about how to get over that.
So let's let's look at what I'm gonna call the 5 ways to overcome imposter syndrome. And the very first thing, number 1, very first thing that you need to do is you need to give yourself some grace. Give yourself some grace. You have to understand that everybody does this. Everybody second guesses themselves sometimes. Everybody doubts themselves sometimes.
And I'm telling you this because over the course of the past, you know, 5 to 10 years, I've been have had the opportunity of meeting some of the most successful business people, entrepreneurs. I just have been in situations where I've had opportunities to meet people that were were very successful, some very, very wealthy. We're talking I've met billionaires, And everybody goes through this. Everybody. Doesn't matter how successful you are. Doesn't matter how much money you have.
Everybody experiences this. And the most important thing is to not let it get ahold of you and not make it a pattern. So the very first thing you need to do is give yourself a break. It's okay to have a bad day. It's okay to maybe sometimes self reflect. But if you're gonna beat yourself up every single day, you're gonna go into a downward spiral, and this is gonna get worse and worse.
So first thing is give yourself a break, give yourself some grace, stop thinking that you're the only one, and realize that this is natural, and you're gonna overcome it. So that's number 1. Number 2, and this is a really good way to turn things around in your mind, is to practice gratitude and think of things that you're grateful for.
Just like I was in that car on my way home from that conference, and my wife said to me, tell me one thing that was positive that happened over the course of the past couple days. That forced me to find something that I'm grateful for. That that that exercise of of gratitude and finding something positive changes the mindset from being negative to now positivity. John Gordon, I don't know if you guys know who John Gordon is, but I've heard him say, he's great, by the way.
If you don't know who is, follow him, you know, go get his books. You can't be blessed and stressed at the same time. Your mind, your brain actually can compute 2 of those things at the same time. You're either worried and stressed or you're positive and you're grateful. So gratitude is something that if you can start to practice and focus on, it'll pull your mind out of that negativity. And think of it this way.
It's not just what am I grateful for, but think about what do I have to look forward to? What's coming up? What am I excited about? Change your thoughts into a positive state of reflection and anticipation. And, you know, it could be anything. It could be the smallest thing. But when you're grateful and you're excited about something, you're working towards something, you're looking forward to something, it really reverses this whole self doubt, self loathing thing.
So number 2 is practice gratitude. Number 3 is you have to establish a growth mindset. And what that means is each day, you have to practice thinking positive and not negative. Like, you actually have to become a habitual, growth oriented, positive thinker. And what that means is this is guys, this is a verb. Like, this is this is the actions that you take. Meaning, you want to become habitual about your mindset. You wanna think about what you think about.
You wanna schedule times to think and practice. So, for example, we talked about gratitude. Literally, schedule time to practice gratitude. Schedule time to think about what you're looking forward to. A lot of people call it meditation. Let's just call it meditation. Some people call it prayer. Some people pray and meditate at the same time. I'm one of them. I have quiet reflection, quiet meditation time every day.
And if you if you haven't and you're interested in learning more, go to episode 86 of this podcast where I talk about my daily intention strategy, and I go all into what I do every morning to prime myself for the debt. It's the same thing. You're actually forcing yourself into a positive mindset by intentionally scheduling time to reflect on things that you're grateful for, things that you're looking forward to. You set an intention strategy, and you put your mind on the right course.
You're forcing your mind into the direction that you want it to go as opposed to letting it you know, you're talking to yourself, right, instead of listening to yourself. When you listen to yourself, that's when those thoughts of doubt and and and imposter syndrome creep in. You have to be proactive and take control of it. So number 3 is you have to develop a growth mindset, and you have to be active in pursuing that.
Number 4, and and this is this may not be something you expect, but, you know, I've heard this expression, go touch some grass. And it what that means is, like, get outside, get away from your computer, get off social media, put your phone away, and go touch some grass. It's actually an expression when people spend too much time on social media or if there's trolls or people that they tell them, you know what? Go touch some grass. Get off your computer. Enough is enough.
There's there's something really cathartic about nature, about getting away from electronics, about putting your phone away, and about just getting back to something nontechnical just for a little bit. Take a walk outside or just go get some air. Maybe go out and get do some deep breathing exercises outside.
But a lot of times when you're in a negative mindset or if you're struggling or if, you know, you feel your this this imposter syndrome coming, try to get outside and take a walk, or try to get outside and get some air and breathe. But definitely put your phone away for a few minutes. We are unfortunately, as Americans, and maybe there's people all over the world that are listening to this because this we have listeners in, like, 90 countries. Everybody's in their phone.
When you're in your phone, sometimes it puts you in a worse place. We'll talk about that a little bit more. So maybe put your phone down, maybe go out and touch some grass, go out and take a walk, go out and breathe the fresh air, and that'll definitely help you. So number 4 is is to go out and touch some grass, flick your phone away. Number 5, don't compare yourself to others. I call this comparisonitis. I didn't make that up. I heard it from somewhere. Some somebody had said that.
I think it's kinda funny, but a lot of people struggle and suffer with comparison items. And there's an ex an actual a quote, not an expression, but a quote. Comparison is the thief of joy. I actually thought that was biblical, but it's not biblical. It was something that Teddy Roosevelt said at one point in time. And this is so true. And I could tell you that one of the things that I went through when I was at that conference is comparisonitis.
One of the the probably the main reason I went into that downward spiral at that conference is I just kept looking around at everyone else. What how many people were at the booth? You know, they were laughing. Why are they all over there having a good time? How come they're not at my booth? And you you start to compare yourself to others. You envy others, and you wind up in a situation where you just start beating yourself up because you don't have what others have.
And it I'm talking about a business scenario. This could be anything. This is, again, this whole social media thing puts, even worse emphasis on this sort of thing because people put up all of these images and all this fakeness and there's all this this pageantry that goes on where you're seeing all this fictitious stuff. And it's especially damaging for younger folks, but all of us look and are like, wow.
I wish I had this or I wish I had that or look at how great that is and look at how great this is. When you compare yourself to others, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. So this is probably the most important, I think, of all of these five things. I think that comparisonitis is probably the most important thing. And I heard this quote. It's not what you are that holds you back. It's what you think you are not. It's not what you are that holds you back.
It's what you think you are not. And I just feel like we need to run our own race. What is it that you want for your life? What race are you running? Stop worrying about what everybody else is doing and what everybody else has going on. You got a lot going on. You got a lot to be grateful for. Focus on that. Think about that because that is what matters, not what anybody else is doing. Doesn't matter what anybody else is doing. Who cares? And just understand that I'm with you on this.
I'm I'm actually doing this podcast for all of you, but I'm doing it for myself because I need to be reminded of this. I'm actually doing this because I need to remind myself as well. So this is something that let's help each other out. Let's make a commitment to do better at this. Let's try to practice some of these best practices and tips to help pull us out of this. Because I gotta tell you guys, I'm rooting for you. You know that. You know, I love doing these podcasts.
I love helping you guys. I love seeing I just came back from this conference, and I gotta tell you, I was so excited to see all the people that are are fans of this show, that are regular listeners to this show that came up to me and introduced themselves and took pictures, and we hung out a little bit. And it makes all of this really worth it because I know that it's helping, and I know that there are people that are getting a lot out of this.
So I wanna thank all of you for the support that you give me, and I'm grateful. Let's practice gratitude right now. I'm really grateful that I have this platform, but I'm even more grateful that I'm able to help you guys and that we're able to do this together. And if you're down on yourself right now, you're going through a tough time, just know I'm rooting for you. And I believe in you, and I think that you have a huge, huge year coming up.
We're at the end of the year, starting a new year, and I think it's gonna be your best year ever. So I'm hoping that this was helpful. If it was helpful, please share it with your friends or coworkers or and this isn't just I know that this is an MSL podcast, but this really this is for anyone, not just MSLs, not just people in the pharmaceutical industry. So anyone you think get value out of this, please share it with them. And, again, appreciate you guys. Love you guys.
Hope you have a great rest of your year and a great year next year. Thanks again for listening. Thank you so much for listening to the show, and if you enjoyed it, please subscribe so that you don't miss an episode in the future, and feel free to leave a rating or a review or a comment. Thanks again, and we look forward to seeing you soon.