I Dated 40 Guys to Tease My Ex

Do I look good guys? Anything stuck in my teeth? Just let me know in the comments. I really don't trust my assistant. She hates me. See, I was telling a friend one day that my assistant smells like chicken and I think she overheard. But seriously, I hear every time she comes close. Wait, if she sees this, she'll start spitting in my food. Director, please cut this part out, okay?

Hi, I'm Cece, and I'm a model and Insta-blogger from New York. Now, I know many of you are expecting Ramen to do a part two. And don't get me wrong, I love her. But let me tell you how I'm better than that noodle-loving rapper. She never even told you her real name or where she's from. But I'm an open book. I have no problem disclosing that my full name is Cecilia and... Wait, I'm getting a phone call from the dragon. I mean, my mother. This can't be good. Be right back.

Okay, where was I? Yeah, basically, Ramen's busy and her animator got sick and can't do more parts for now. But MSA can't disappoint you, so I stepped up. Now my story will take this lovely animator, and I chose him because he makes his character shake.

Like this, see? See, I have a bit of a history with shaking. I love Rihanna and her song, Shine Bright Like a Diamond. But when I was little, I used to hear it as, shake your body like a demon. And I wondered, why would somebody shake their body like a demon? Who's even seen a demon shaking? But, you know, I'm just an easygoing girl. I didn't question anything and just continued with my life. The reason why I was a relaxed, easygoing kid was because my parents were jerks.

You know, like jerks to the point where you just give up and live your life because you have no other option. I was born in a family of French aristocrats who had moved to the US a long time ago. But my parents still acted like they had sticks up their butts. I lived in a large, dull mansion where everything was beige, beige, and, you guessed it, beige. Any attempts to add color were frowned upon.

And then they had all these rules. Keep your voice low, but don't mumble. Sit straight and no elbows on the table. Don't show your teeth when you laugh. You're not a donkey. That's the soup spoon. That's the dessert spoon. Your ancestors must be rolling in their graves saying you eat meat with a fish fork. Jeez, weirdos.

Don't you have anything better to do than watching me all day? And wait, let me show you what someone looks like when they laugh without their teeth. I look like a psychopath, right? Even mom's cat Vivian was a judgmental snob and probably a spy.

Once I was playing in the garden and I picked a booger from my nose and stuck it to a sunflower. Come on, it's normal. Kids do this stuff. I know you've done it too. Don't act so cool. And I turned around to find Vivian looking at me like this. So, yeah. I've always been a misfit in this sophisticated family. And it's not that I'm not girly. Actually, I adore fashion. And I always had a magazine tucked in the middle of the literary masterpieces I was forced to read.

But I just hadn't grown up to be the classy lady my parents had hoped for. Once in ninth grade, I was shopping at the supermarket with a friend because she wanted to cook something for her boyfriend. Ugh, barf. Boys were all the craze with the girls in ninth grade.

I was the only one cool enough not to lose my mind over some boy. I got bored, so I jumped into my friend's shopping cart and told her to run down the aisle with me. We were both laughing like crazy when suddenly she tripped and let the cart go. and I went whizzing straight into a pile of watermelons. When I opened my eyes, I was sure I'd gone to heaven, because an angel was looking down at me, halo and all. Hey, are you okay? I don't know. Am I dead?

I really hope not. You have to pay for all those watermelons. And then he smiled. Okay, so I was about to lose my mind over some boy, so sue me. His name was Danny, he was two years older, and he worked there part-time as a sales assistant. Our connection was instant and he asked me out right away. Also, I did pay for the watermelons, but I learned later that the store policy didn't require people to pay for accidents. I think Danny kept the money for himself. And yeah, I didn't question it.

Because I'm someone who's been shaking her body like a demon for years and never even questioned that. Anyway, a week later, we were officially together. And you know those first days when you're so in love? The sky is bluer, the grass is greener, the air smells like lavender. My stupid 15-year-old brain was telling me that I'd met my soulmate. We liked the same everything, and I could just be myself around him.

My parents didn't approve because he wasn't our class. But I couldn't give a hoot. Danny was perfect. So I really can't pinpoint exactly why or when things began going downhill and the lavender started to rot. Maybe because he started going to university and got too busy. Or maybe because someone gave me a modeling offer in the city after seeing my blog.

It was a great opportunity for me to enter the fashion world, and I was sure we could make long distance work. Yeah, except that even short distance wasn't working for us now. We were just arguing and getting on each other's nerves all the time. See this picture of Danny?

Yeah, that's him as a loser kid. But do you see that annoying half-smile? He would smirk just like that when he thought he was right, which was, like, always. Who wouldn't get annoyed? There were so many little things. Like, why did he tell so many jokes?

Why did he touch his ear so often? Why did he sneeze like a raccoon? Sneeze like a man, man! But things really escalated when we were out for dinner once, and he started eating my fries. Why didn't you just order your own fries? Because I didn't want fries. Then why are you eating my fries? I just took a few. You've eaten half the plate! You can't share fries with your boyfriend? This is not about the fries. This is about you.

You lied when you said you didn't want any, then you ate mine, and now I'm the bad guy? Cece, you're acting crazy. Oh, you want fries? Here, have all of them. The next day,

We broke up after three years together. And you know the worst part about dating your best friend? When it's all over, you lose your best friend too. But don't worry about me, guys. I took the breakup like a champ. Anyway, I took up the modeling offer and moved to Manhattan right after high school. My parents were very disappointed at my career choices. Surprise, surprise. But I needed to get away from this place, and I just hadn't gone back since. But now...

I had just received an invite to a high school reunion. Maybe it was a good excuse to go home. And Danny had moved away, not that it mattered. Yeah, what could go wrong? Oh, Cece, you dumb, silly duck. I didn't realize I'd missed my parents so much till I saw them. Even they seemed kinda happy. Cecilia, what's the matter? Has the dirty city air destroyed your corneas? No, Mom. Something just went into my eye.

I asked the chef to make your favorite dessert, a strawberry tart. That's your favorite, Dad. I'm allergic to strawberries, but I appreciate the thought. And man, oh man, did I appreciate my bed. Why had I left this life again? Hard to recall the moment. I was having a great time at the reunion with my old friends when I spotted a stunning brunette in a red dress.

You know, the kind of dress that only a very confident girl can pull off and you instantly feel imperfect in every way just by looking at her? Hey, that girl wasn't in our batch, right? Cece, that's Regina. What? No, I remember Regina. Duh. She had braces, thick glasses, and she was cute, but kind of fat. You know, like plump. Yep, same Regina. She got a major glow up. Also, there's something you should know.

Just then, a tall guy in a suit walked up to Regina and kissed her. Danny? Oh my god, I'm not ready for this. I gotta go before he sees me. But as I turned, I tripped over my own feet and crashed into a photo booth. Caption for next Instapost. How to be a complete moron in front of your ex and his gorgeous girlfriend. Why do our meetings always start with you on the floor? Don't stare at my butt, you pervert. What? I swear, I wasn't. Ugh. Get up, you weirdo.

Gosh, he was even cuter than I remembered. You didn't even go to our high school, man. Why are you here? I'm here with, um, Regina. Cece, you look gorgeous as ever. Always the most popular girl in school? You, you look great too. Thanks, babe. Listen, I wouldn't have invited Danny if I knew you were coming, given your history. This must be awkward.

Oh, please. That was a million years ago. I've dated like 400 boys since then. It's all cool. We're cool. Except watching them together was setting my insides on fire. Listen, guys, I'm not unreasonable. Of course I didn't think Danny would stay single forever. Even though it would have been great if he did till I got married and had my first child. Whatever, I can't control that. But why her? She's...

She's prettier than me. He wasn't supposed to upgrade. Animator, show me the ugliest shot you got of her. No, not this one. She still looks too pretty. Not this either. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty. Okay, Animator, you failed. Can someone else volunteer? Yes. The music guy. Love your music, by the way. Oh yeah, this picture. Look, look at her face. It's made according to Da Vinci's golden ratio, man. And that dark hair, that swan-like neck, her perfect skin.

And those long, long legs. And no, I'm not gay. I mean, I don't think so. But if I was, she'd totally be my type. Cecilia, who are you talking to? And I heard gay. Are you gay?

Not that we're not open-minded people, but no grandchildren then? Not right now, guys! I went down a social media rabbit hole stalking Regina and Danny. I wanted to be happy for him, really, but he didn't seem like himself anymore. He was always dressed in fancy suits and hanging out with fake-looking rich people like he was trying too hard to fit in. But it wasn't any of my business. He'd moved on, and so had I. Till I found out my parents were hosting a Christmas party,

And Regina's parents were invited, so she and Danny would be coming too. Ugh! I needed a distraction. So I decided to work on a new blog post. How to get a date over the holidays so you're not the only single loser at Christmas. Okay, lovely followers.

and, of course, everyone watching this video, here are some of Cece's tried and tested tips. Number one. Walk up to a guy in a grocery store and compliment his ugly sweater that his mom obviously knit for him. Guys love it when you compliment their moms. Number two. stand behind a cute guy at a coffee shop, eavesdrop on his order, and then say, oh, you have such good taste. I'll have what he's having. Making a guy feel special over nothing is a sure way to win him over. Number three.

When you're walking outside, take one shoe off and start limping. A gentleman is bound to stop and offer you a ride home. Great conversation starter. As I was testing out number three, a car pulled up next to me. It was freaking Danny. Hey, Cece. You okay? Oh, yeah. I just broke my heel. Hop in. I'll drive you home. I couldn't tell him what I was actually doing. Obvi. We drove away in awkward silence. And then he turned on the radio. You want to hear about...

I love Ramen Lee Min Ho! Happy to hear that. Regina hates my songs. And after that, we just reconnected like old times. Talking to him felt so right and easy and comfortable. I actually felt disappointed when we arrived at my place. And suddenly, it was crystal clear to me. I wanted Danny back! Look, guys, I can feel some of you judging me already. But Regina's known him for, what, a few months? She'd get over him.

Danny and I were together for three years. And yeah, it didn't end well, but we've grown up now. Plus, whose side are you on anyway? This is my story. Root for me. The Christmas dinner was the perfect opportunity for my first move. I switched around the place cards to make sure I sat next to Regina to talk down Danny. So, you must have heard Danny's embarrassing singing by now.

Gosh, I've never met someone so off-key. But it's cute. Okay, but have you heard him sneeze? Like a raccoon, yeah. I tell him he should just let it out. What about the way he snorts like a pig when he laughs? I sometimes do that too. He has terrible taste in music. Oh yeah, I'm trying to change that by introducing him to classical stuff. Also, the worst taste in food. Why eat Mexican when you could have sushi and caviar? Yeah, Mexican?

Yuck. Danny and I love Mexican food. Who doesn't? This girl's a psycho. But you know, that's just small stuff. He's pretty great overall. No one's perfect, right? Right. I'm gonna go sit with my date for a while. Yeah, it was just some random dude Ted at the bus stop I'd bribed to act like my date. The second course of action was trying to make Danny jealous. Regina was all over him, touching his hair and laughing.

So I ran my fingers through Ted's hair, too. Ow, you're hurting me. Ow. I tried feeding him cheesecake next. No way, girl. Get your own slice. You can't have mine. I don't share food. And then he just disappeared after dinner. Luckily, Regina's feet were hurting, so Danny asked me to dance instead. Ugh, why did he have to be so lovely and charming and a gentleman? Why couldn't he be ugly and gross and a jerk? Ugh! And when the music stopped...

Several people were pointing to something above us. Mistletoe. Everyone cheered us on to kiss, and Danny gave me a gentle peck on the lips. He walked off while my head was spinning like a ballerina. And as I watched him and Regina leave the party, She waved to me with a warm smile. Wait, wait, wait. What? I just kissed your boyfriend and you're smiling at me? This girl was faker than my nails. And for some reason, she wanted to keep me close.

Two days later, she arranged a big picnic for our whole batch and invited me too. Yeah, check out her fancy handwritten note because she's too fancy to send a text. Dearest Cece. You are cordially invited to Regina's annual charity picnic gala. All we require is your presents and generous donations. The rest has been taken care of by us. Hope you'll join us for a fun-filled day.

XOXOXO, Regina. Well, two can write a note. Dear Regina, yeah, I'll come. I'm busy, but I'll come. Cece, it was a huge event and there were a bunch of games. And somehow for each of them... She partnered me and Danny. I didn't know what she was up to, but I felt like she was watching me. Well, I didn't mind. I was happy for Regina to see how totally in sync Danny and I were. Man, we could finish each other's sentences.

We kept meeting for the next few days for some event or the other. But the problem was, I was really falling for Danny all over again. Why did I ever let him go? And how could I know if he felt anything for me now? One evening, I was feeling bummed and sitting at my favorite spot when someone joined me. Didn't think I'd find anyone here. Want me to leave? You should have asked that before making yourself comfortable. I have food. You can stay. As we sat there eating crisps...

Danny suddenly spoke. Why didn't you come home earlier, Cece? Maybe because I didn't want to return till I'd proved I could make it on my own? It's nice being back, though. Even my parents are a little chilled out now. I got Dad to do a TikTok with me. Can you imagine?

Hardly. You know, I always felt like your parents didn't think I was good enough for you. But this time they were nice. Maybe because I've made something of myself now. I'm sorry they made you feel that way, but I never cared about that stuff. You know that, right? Of course. You were always so different. He brushed away a strand of hair from my face and moved closer. Suddenly, his phone rang and we jumped apart. He mumbled that he had to go and quickly left. Once I was sure he was gone...

I broke out into a happy dance. Now I knew he felt something for me. I just had to make him feel enough to break up with stupid Regina. The next day, I was at the mall when I went to a changing room, and I heard two girls talking in the next stall. No, not this dress.

We're announcing my engagement at the New Year's party tomorrow. I need something special. What the what? Is Danny excited? Of course he is. Daddy just offered him a position in his firm. And I'm out of his league in every way. He's... Very lucky. Are you gonna invite Cece, too? I don't know why you've been inviting her everywhere. To show her what she's lost. Have you forgotten what Cece was like in high school? She never even noticed me, like I was invisible. Well...

She's looking at me now. And no, she's not invited. I'll just let Dani tell her. I never ignored Regina on purpose. She just seemed like one of those shy kids who wanted to be left alone. I had no idea she felt so bitter. And it didn't sound like she loved Danny. Just saw him as someone she could control because she thought she was better than him. I had to tell him, right? But he was getting engaged. He must have thought it through. What was I going to do anyway?

crash Regina's New Year's party and object to the engagement? That sounds stupid. Okay, now let's just fast forward to the part where I burst into Regina's New Year's party and yelled, I object to this engagement. Regina doesn't really love you, Dani. Danny grabbed my arm and led me out angrily. Cece, what the heck? Danny, don't get engaged to Regina. She's all wrong for you. Who are you to decide that? I just know that.

She thinks she's out of your league and she's doing you some favor by being your girlfriend. Regina loves me. Not as you really are. Look in the mirror, man. I've seen you wear nothing but suits these past 10 days. She's changing you so you fit into her pretentious world. You don't know what you're talking about. Okay, fine. Then don't get engaged to her because I love you. What? Yeah, there. I said it. I love you. Like, I'd give up the last slice of cheesecake for you or whatever. So...

Pick me. Choose me. Love me. Did you just steal Meredith's speech from Grey's Anatomy? Oh, shoot. I'd forgotten we'd seen that show together. Trust him to remember something like that. For those who don't know about it… Here's the speech. Choose me. Love me. OK, so I'm using her words, but I feel the same way. You're just playing games, Cece. You didn't look back once after leaving.

And now you suddenly want me? No. You just hate the thought of me with someone else. We didn't work out before, and we wouldn't now. This felt worse than our breakup. And for those of you who are on Team Regina, you must be enjoying this. Did you suck? I couldn't stay any longer. So I packed my bags the next day and hugged my parents goodbye. I'll send you TikToks every day. I'll be looking forward to that, Dad. Don't take so long to visit again, Cece. I won't, Mom. Wait.

You didn't call me Cecilia. Must have slipped my tongue. Is there something in your eye again? Yeah, I think so. Anyway, I'll come visit soon. Bye! Next day, as my self-pity continued, the doorbell rang, and I was shocked to find Danny outside. What are you doing here? I couldn't get engaged to Regina. You were right about everything, and she's not the one for me.

I'm choosing you. Look, man, that speech was just embarrassing. I take it back. I choose you anyway. You said we won't work. We have to at least try and find out. Because I love you too, Cece. And we argued happily ever after. If you like my story and want to hear more of this style, comment CCRShakingMCMC.