59. Research and Rattles: How to Overcome PhD Procrastination After Maternity Leave

Here we're changing the overwhelmed juggle struggle narrative around what it means to be a mama on an academic journey to one of empowerment , fulfillment and purposeful success . So how do we successfully navigate these journeys ? Well , first we need the space to embrace this unique blend .

Let's begin by saying yes to creating a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside , because that's when we truly become purposefully whole .

So get ready for the most non-traditional , unconventional and revolutionary approach to PhD motherhood , because one thing I have learned over my many years of experience on this journey is that if you want something different , you have to do something different .

You want something different , you have to do something different , but you must be brave enough to think differently first . So , mama , are you in Fabulous ? Let's begin . These are our journeys of becoming . Hey mama , welcome back to the podcast .

In today's episode , I want to talk about one of the biggest elephants that we all have to face on this PhD mama journey . Right , and that is procrastination and you know what I feel like it hits its peak right at that point where you are returning from maternity leave , getting back into the groove of the PhD .

I feel like that's when it's at its worst right , and that's when the juggle struggle feels at its worst , because you are still very much in a recovery state . You are still developing those early bonds with your little one . Depending on where you are in the world , your maternity leave could be as little as three months or as much as 12 months or more .

As a mama of three I have had during my phd . I had two of our sons one I had before my phd , and each of my maternity leaves with each of the boys was around a year .

So there there was a year gap between my PhD and going on maternity leave and then coming back to the PhD , and one of the things that I really did struggle with at times was getting back into the groove of PhD life , because that definitely had its challenges , you know , especially when it came to dealing with procrastination .

So in today's episode I'm going to share some tips that have helped me to overcome the urge to put things off and help me to stay on track as a new mama , or as a mama of a new baby , you know , to stay on track as a new mama doing a PhD .

So the first thing that I did when I was facing the walls of procrastination was identify the roots of the procrastination . So was I feeling like I wanted to put things off because I was feeling overwhelmed , trying to balance all of my new mama duties with , you know , my PhD responsibilities ?

Was it the lack of motivation or energy because I was actually sleep deprived ? Was it the fear of not being able to meet my pre-maternity productivity levels ? Was I feeling guilty about time spent away from my child as I returned to work ? Or was I finding it difficult to refocus after the extended break ?

Or maybe I was beginning to wallow in my self-doubt and imposter syndrome was starting to get the better of me ? These are all very legitimate contributors to procrastination and honestly , I struggle with all of the above . You know I felt the overwhelm trying to balance everything . I went through periods where I didn't feel motivated because I was so exhausted .

I was so exhausted . I was breastfeeding . I was obviously having other children to look after as well . You know , one of our sons was born in the midst of the pandemic . So then there was the homeschooling . There was all of that going on and it was really , really hard .

Also , I felt like I developed such a reputation of producing high quality work that I felt , oh my goodness , how am I going to be able to keep up that , how am I going to be able to produce work of that quality when I am so exhausted ? And , of course , I felt so much guilt about being away from our son when I was returning to work .

Obviously , our children attended nurseries . That was our choice of childcare and you know , just the thought of someone else bonding with my child , someone else , you know , cuddling him , and he was upset it really filled me with so much guilt . And also the fact that , like I said , I'd had a one year break .

So imagine parking everything for a year and then having to return to that and pick up all the pieces . And , by the way , I didn't work on my PhD during my maternity leave . I really didn't . I really enjoyed my maternity leaves . I enjoyed the time off .

I had a long period of recovery post-delivery because I had cesarean sections , but I was able to really just ground myself in the present , enjoy the little moments and enjoy watching my baby bond with his siblings . You know , just watching them grow and become . You know the little personalities that they are . You know I really enjoyed all those little moments .

I especially loved doing baby groups and other things . Unfortunately , I couldn't do this with our youngest because that was during COVID and of course we couldn't do any of those things at that time . But with my middle son we were able to do so many little baby groups and things and it was just such a lovely experience .

And I remember feeling like I just paid so much attention to the simple things like the seasons changing , and just watching how my son responded to those things , like you know , just enjoying getting to know him , getting to know the routines , really just adapting to the new routines , because obviously , you know , becoming a mom of one and then a mom of two and

then a mom of three , it looks different each time . And so there was all those things . And then there was the self-doubt , the imposter syndrome , right , feeling like you don't even belong there anymore . You don't even belong on the PhD anymore , right , those thoughts do creep in . Can you do this ? Should you even be doing this ? Are you just an imposter ?

And I talked about self-doubt in episode 56 because you know , when you are juggling lots of hats as a new mama or as a mama with a new baby , it's so easy to fall into that trap and that vicious cycle of self-doubt , self-doubt and then not making any progress , and then not making any progress , and then more self-doubt , and then even less progress , and then

more self-doubt , and the cycle goes on and on and on . So if you want to know more about how I manage self-doubt , please do check out episode 56 . It's called Breaking the Self-Doubt Cycle Practical Strategies for Scholarly M mamas . So once you've finished listening to this episode , hop on over to episode 56 .

So you know , procrastination sometimes I find this is just my experience I find that when I feel like a task is going to be really difficult and there is going to be a pain , a discomfort , you know , associated with doing that task , is when I will put it off .

So if something feels really unachievable , unattainable , I don't want to face it because I don't want to experience that feeling of not being able to get it done . And so I think when you are on a PhD journey and the work is so intense and there's so much to do , there's so many deadlines , there's so many of those things coming back to that .

After a period of immense transition physical transition , emotional transition , mental transition Just your entire positionality just changes . Right , your family has now grown , you're adapting to a new life and just dealing with that transition . Then you know that you've got to go back to something that's going to be really hard , it's going to be really stressful .

It's really easy to say you know what , I don't want to do this , I can just put that off until the very last minute where I no longer have to . You know I don't longer have that choice and I have to do it , but until then I'm just gonna put it off and put it off and put it off .

So what are some of the strategies that I use to help me overcome that procrastination ? So the first thing is to start small . You cannot go from zero to hero right . Remember you're dealing with a huge transition here . So start small . Don't jump right back in a hundred percent . Set modest , achievable , daily , weekly goals at first .

Take baby steps as you give yourself the grace to readjust , readapt and settle into the new routine . Of course we know that once you go back to work and the little one is in some kind of daycare or nursery or whatever and they're interacting with the world in a much more tangible way . They will bring home the books .

There were times when I felt like I was literally sick for months and months on end , because every time I would , you know , recover from something , my son will bring something out home , and then we're all sick again , and then you've got other kids in the house . Everybody's sick and it's just this vicious cycle of sickness after sickness , after sickness .

And the expectation that we are supposed to perform at this high standard through all of that is just unbelievable . Because , honestly , I don't know how I got through those long periods of sickness .

I remember each of the boys having conjunctivitis , chicken pox , hand , foot and mouth all these things like back to back to back , and obviously the colds and the flus . It was a constant runny nose . It was relentless and what I really had to remind myself during those times was Michelle , this is going to pass . This is not forever , this is temporary .

It won't always be like this . Just try and give yourself grace and so again , starting small , trying to give yourself the grace . Don't jump back in 100% . Maybe you can start back , maybe you can negotiate with your supervisor to have a gradual return , rather than just kind of you know nothing to everything .

Maybe have a gradual return , maybe , if you are full time , best thing you can do to get through this period ,

to navigate this period , because that will allow you to begin to get back into the flow of things so that procrastination is no longer leading the way but you are actually making progress , you're actually getting back on the saddle and getting closer and closer to your goals .

The second thing that helps me in terms of overcoming the procrastination was to get really clear on my priorities and my plan .

So making a prioritized to-do list and time blocking your calendar allows you to check things off and that gives you the motivation because you're building some momentum right , so that allows you to keep going to gradually build back up your productivity . Prioritizing and planning can help you do that . The third thing was focusing on one thing at a time .

Oh , this is the hardest thing , because when you're juggling lots of hats , it's very tempting to just want to multitask , want to focus on everything at once , and it just doesn't allow you to make your highest contribution in any of those areas .

And so really isolating your tasks , trying to align those with the correct level of energy and motivation and productivity . So by that I mean when you are at your highest peak in terms of productivity . That's when you do the more difficult tasks .

So if you're a morning person , you try and see if there's a way you can get your hardest work done in the morning . The tasks you don't want to do , the things that you don't , that you're putting off , that you're procrastinating on , put those in your morning time block right . The things that are , you know , require a bit less brain power .

You can put those for later on in the day . If you are a morning person , obviously the reverse is true as well . If you're more of a night owl , then you come alive in the night . You can work at your peak productivity .

Then put your heaviest tasks for that time period so that you're able to reduce the barrier to taking action right , and then it allows you to give your tasks your full attention .

So turning off distractions , really just allowing yourself to have some focused time , will allow you to get tasks done and that will help you to build some motivation so that you reduce the temptation to procrastinate .

The fourth thing I did was to take breaks , periodically , step away and recharge because , don't forget , you're coming from a state of well , while you're on maternity leave , probably not being in much of a routine . If you have older kids , you probably are still operating in some kind of routine .

So , even when I was nursing a newborn baby , we still had , you know , school , we still had to get the other boys sorted and so there was still some kind of routine . We weren't having , like you know , pajama days or anything .

But if this is your first baby , you may be coming back from a period of where you've actually had very little structure in your day and so , you know , maybe the day's been focused completely around baby's routine .

So , when you are returning to your PhD , you want to build in some structure and as part of that structure , it's building in your breaks periodically taking a break , going for a walk , doing breathing exercises , getting some fresh air to help you get back into your natural state of flow .

And once you get back into that state of flow , believe me , mama , it's a wrap , because you're able to operate from a state of flow and ease and not a state of overwhelm and frustration and disillusionment . Honestly , mama , this is such a game changer . The fifth thing I did was to not be too hard on myself .

Honestly , you are dealing with a major life change . Not only did you just have a whole baby right , but now you're adding back in a PhD to that work , to that , you're adding back in those plates .

And so you know , when I look at like professional jugglers , I'm always really fascinated by how they will start off maybe one or two balls and then they're able to just kind of add in another one , add in another two , and suddenly they're juggling like six balls and you think , oh , how on earth did they do that right ?

But honestly , do you not think that they have had many times where they've dropped a couple of balls ? Of course they have right .

So don't be too hard on yourself , because now you are actually adding in those extra balls , you're adding in those extra plates and suddenly going from just having to manage baby to now having to add a PhD and work back into the mix of all of that , and that's a lot .

So really , just adjusting your expectations right and celebrating those small wins , you are not going to work at the same level of productivity as you were before you had this baby . You're just not going to do it , and so giving yourself that grace and saying , look , I am going to adjust my expectations . Maybe before I could sit four or five hours to work .

Maybe I can't do that now , that's OK , this is my new reality , right ? So accepting that and celebrating those little wins along the way will help you to not want to avoid the task as much as you are now . The sixth thing was that you need to build yourself a support system .

If you've got family nearby we did not , unfortunately but if you have got that , enlist their help and support . Obviously , your friends as well . If you have baby groups in your area , check those out . Connect with other mamas who are in the same stage of motherhood as you so that you can share the experience right .

Obviously , you've got support from your academic advisors and supervisors as well and also know that you don't have to do everything alone . You don't even have to navigate this journey alone . One of the things that I really struggled with was when I was doing my PhD and having my kids at the same time .

I really struggled with finding other mamas who understood this journey , who understood how hard it was to combine motherhood and PhD life , and that's the reason why I started Scholarly Mamas . That's the motivation behind the community , and that's there for mamas like you .

It's there for mamas who really want to connect , really want to build a supportive community for themselves . That's why we've created this , because not everybody's going to get this journey . Not everybody's going to get what it's like to do a journey . Not everybody's going to get what it's like to do a PhD .

Not everybody's going to get what it's like to be a new mama , and so combining those two things is even more rare , and so build yourself a support system by connecting with other mamas who get this journey , who understand what this is like . Right , stop doing this alone and find your people Okay .

The seventh thing that I did , the seventh and final thing that I will share today , is to remember your why . Why are you on this journey ? I remember every single time I felt like , oh , I don't want to face this PhD , I really am so sick of it . Now I would remember my why . My why was so , so , so deep .

Right , I was doing this for myself , I was doing this for my kids , I was doing this for so many reasons , and I needed to reconnect with those . Reconnect with my passion and my purpose for pursuing this PhD and that really helped to motivate me through the challenges .

But also it really reminded me when I was tempted to procrastinate , when I was tempted to put things off . It helped me to remember why I started this in the first place and it gave me that motivation to face it again , to come back to it , to get back into the groove of PhD life .

So I hope that these tips have provided you with some insights into how you can readjust academic life after having a baby . But just know that you're not alone in this battle against procrastination . Honestly , we all deal with it . We all deal with procrastination and you know just , I guess .

Be patient , be patient with yourself , give yourself grace , prioritize your self-care right . You are dealing with a lot . You're juggling lots of balls . Make sure you look after yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it , because , yeah , we are a resilient bunch of scholarly mamas , but even the most resilient people , they need help too .

So don't frown upon the help that is available to you . Seek support and just embrace the journey . Embrace a journey . Everybody deals with procrastination at some point on this journey , but there are ways that you can overcome that there are ways that you can even embrace it right and let it work for you . Let it be a reminder to look after yourself .

But also , let your why motivate you to keep going . Let your why motivate you to get back in that driver's seat . Finish that PhD so that you can make yourself proud , that you can make your kids proud , that you can win where it matters , because when you win where it matters , everyone wins . Well , that's it for today , mama .

I hope you enjoyed the episode and until next time , as always , I'm sending you lots of love and lots of gratitude . Take care , mama . Bye for now . Thank you for tuning in to the Mrs Mummy PhD podcast . I hope you've enjoyed the episode and if you did and you want in on this movement , please head over to mrsmummyphdcom or scholarlymamascom .

If you want to do your PhD well , without sacrificing yourself or those you love dearest , then you need your hands on my free training called the PhD with Purpose webinar . When you join us inside Scholarly Mama's Explore , you'll get access to this free training and so much more . Remember , mama , these are our journeys of becoming .