005 - The School for Scandal- The Relapse of Lady Teazle

The Relapse of Lady Teazle from Mister Punch's Dramatic Sequels by Sinton Hankin. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. The School for Scandal, The School for Scandal ends. It will be remembered with the reconciliation of Sir Peter and Lady Teazle, the complete exposure of Joseph Surface, and the rehabilitation of Charles. Perhaps

Too Lady Teazle, Lady Teazle, I'll not bear.

It, Sir Peter. Sir Peter, you've told me that a hundred times. This habit of repeating yourself is most distressing. Tis a sure sign of old age owns madam?

Will you never be tired of flinging my age in my face?

Blood? Sir Peter, tis you that fling it in mine? How often have you said to me when an old bachelor marries a young wife?

And if I have, Lady Diezel, you needn't repeat it after me, for you live only to plague me. And yet it twas but six months ago you've vowed never to cross me again. Yes, madam, six months ago, when I found you concealed behind a screen in mister Servius's library, you promise that if I would forgive you, your future conduct should prove the sincerity of your repentance. I forgave you, madam, and this is my reward.

And I might blame Sir Peter for your ill humors? Must I always be making concessions to please you? I have given up all routes and assemblies. Attend no balls nor quadrilles, talk no scandal, never ogle nor flirt. I go no more to my lady Sneerwell's though I vou has was a most delightful house to visit, such fashion and elegance, such wit, such delicate malice.

Just so, madam, this is what I complain of all the while you are longing to return to these follies. You are not happy when you are alone with me.

Great Heaven, Sir Peter, you must not ask miracles. What woman of fashion is ever happy alone with her husband?

There it is, Lady Teezel. You think only of fashion, and yet when I married you.

Oo oh, Lord, Sir Peter, why will you always be returning to that painful subject?

Vastly painful, no doubt, madam, since it prevents you from marrying mister surfers behind whose screen I've found you?

Ooh ooh, mister surface. But twas charlesy used to suspect, and.

Now tis Joseph Zounds, Madam, is a man never to be allowed to change his mind. I say it is Joseph. Joseph.

Joseph entered Joseph's surface. Sir Peter and Lady Teazel are obviously disconcerted at this inopportune arrival, and say nothing. Joseph has greatly changed in appeeringants in the six months which have elapsed between the play and the sequel. He has lost his sleekness and his air of conscious virtue, and looks like a careless, good humored man about time, obviously enjoying their discomfort.

Sir Peter, your servant, Lady Teesel, your most obedient bows profoundly.

To what, mister Surfers, do we owe the honor of this visit?

Blandly correcting him.

Pleasure, said Peter, I should honor, Sir. I came at the invitation of Sir Oliver, who is staying in your house. He desired to see me.

Viciously to Sir Peter, if.

This gentleman's business is with Sir Oliver, perhaps he will explain why he is intruded in this.

Room with pleasure. My attention was arrested by the sound of voices raised in dispute. I heard my name mentioned loudly more than once, and recognizing one of the voices as that of Lady Teesell.

With a low bow, I thought.

It better interposed to defend my character.

At once, stamping her foot insolent.

Ha ha ha ha, very good efaith Misteres Surfers. I could almost find it in my heart to forgive you for your injuries towards me When you talk like.

That injuries, Sir Peter, I never did you an injury. That affair of the screen was the mirest misunderstanding. I had no desire at all to capture the affections of Lady teesl On the contrart would have been highly inconvenient for me. It was your Ward, Maria that I wished to win monster Unhappily, Lady Teesel mistook the nature of my attentions, and I, knowing.

Her temper, bowing to Lady teezl.

Feared to undeceive her lest she should use her influence to prejudice me in the eyes of your ward. That, Sir Peter, is the true explanation of the situation in which you found Lady teesle On that unlucky.

With suppressed fury.

Pray, Sir Peter, do you propose to continue to permit this gentleman to speak of me in this way?

Certainly, Madam, everything that mister Servus has said seems to me to bear the stamp of truth.

So you see, Sir Peter, you never had any real cause of jealousy towards me. My conduct was foolish, I admit, but it was never criminal.

Joseph, I believe you. Six months ago I thought you were guilty of the basest treachery towards me. But a year of marriage with Lady Teesell has convinced me that in her relations with you, as in her relations with me, it is always Lady Tegel who is in the wrong.

They shake hands warmly.

I will not stay here to be insulted in this manner. I will go straight to Lady Sneerwell's and tear both your characters to tatters.

Exit in a violent passion.

Oohs fury. But when an old bachelor marries a.

Young wife, come, come, sir Peter, no sentiments?

What you say that, my dear Joseph, this is indeed a reformation. Had it been Charles, now, I should not have been surprised.

It gad, Sir Peter. In the matter of sentiments. Charles, for a long time had a most under advantage of me for having no character to lose. He had no need of sentiments to support it. But now I have a little character as he, and we start fair. Now I am a free man. I say what I think, do what I please. Scandal has done its worst with me, and I no longer fear it. Whereas when I had a character for morality to maintain, all my time was

Digging him in the.

Ribs Ah, Joseph, you're a sad dog. But here comes your uncle, Sir Oliver. I'll leave him with you.

Exit. Enter Sir Oliver, reading a sheaf of legal documents, reading.

Eighty one hundred and twenty two hundred and twenty three hundred pounds. Gad, the dog will ruin me.

Sir Oliver.

Your servant looking up?

Hey?

Is that you nephew? Yes, I remember I sent for you.

You're busy this morning, uncle. I'll wait upon you another day.

No, No, Joseph, stay and hear what I have to tell you. I sent for you to say that I have decided to pardon your past misconduct and restore you to favor. Six months of Charles's society have convinced me of the folly of adopting a reprobate.

I thought they would.

Uncle, Your brother's extravagances pass all bounds. Here are four writs which were served upon him but yesterday, and the fellow has the assurance to send them on to me.

Jase laughs heartily.

Sounds nephew, don't stand chuckling there. And his character has not reformed one whit in spite of his promises. His flirtations with my lady Sneerwell and others are so excessive that Maria has quite thrown him over and the engagement is broken off. Add to this that I have paid his debts three times only to find him contracting fresh liabilities. And you may judge that my patience is exhausted.

But these are old stories. Uncle. You knew that Charles was vicious and extravagant when you made him your air. He's done nothing fresh to offend you.

On the contrary, he has done something which has hurt me deeply.

How absorry Uncle when he knows that he has depended wholly on your bounty.

Wait till you hear the whole story. A week ago, your brother came to me for money to meet some gambling debt. I refused him. Whereupon he returned to his house, had it an auctioneer, and sold everything that it contained.

And did you play little premium a second time? Uncle?

Certainly not, sir, on this occasion, I left the rogue to settle matters for himself.

But I see no great harm in this. Why should not Charles sell his furniture?

Deuce take his furniture? He sold my picture?

What the ill looking little fellow over the city? Yes, ha, ha delicious? Sell this uncle's portrait? Can I like his spirit?

You seem vastly entertained, nephew, I confess.

The humor of this situation appeals.

To me happily. For you, I am less, easily amused. No, No, Charles is a heartless scoundrel, and I'll disown him.

No, Uncle, he's no worse than other young men.

But he sold my picture. He was pressed for money, but he sold my picture.

He meant no harm.

I'll be bound, But he sold my picture.

Enter, Sir Peter, hurriedly, looking pale, and disordered, My.

Dear Sir Peter, you are ill.

You've had bad news, Sir Peter, old friend, what is it?

Ugh?

Ugh Oh, Lady Tisel stops choked with passion, not dead.

Dead, hell and furies. If it were only that, no run away with your profligate nephew, Charles impossible. Is this certain Hi really solom driving together in a postchaise towards Richmond, not ten minutes ago?

Then I'll disown him. Joseph, you are my heir, but see that you behave yourself, or I'll disinherit you too, and leave my money to a missionary society.

Curtain end of the Relapse of Lady Teasel.