(light music) Is that true? Well, I don't know. I haven't had my full cup of coffee yet. I'm usually more fresh in the morning. I'm so tired, I'm tired. Do we need to have your hormone levels checked? My family thinks that I'm really quiet. If somebody doesn't like you, okay, brush them off because you're a likable person. I think there's a lot of truth in that. You were kind of an all-American household. I grew up in a blended family. Okay, so my math was wrong. Nuclear level extroverts.
You're a really cool person. I've always struggled with that. Opposite's tracked. But you can be a perfect couple, say. (both laugh) You get tripped into a lot of things in life, luckily. Because I think that's a journey you're on your whole life. Got to be better today. Well, no duh, we're blessed. This is a good life. Some people are so good at it. So good at it. You're a terrible texter. And I am notoriously bad at that. That was a bad point. That was a bad point.
Brace the suck, it's more like a Spencer gift kind of thing. I'm all over the place, boing, boing, doo, doo. I'm the steady Eddie rower, but you kinda need both. This girl I was just met on a cruise. Get me off this ride. I had to learn to be outgoing. You and I had a completely different view of what we wanted to do. Happiness has nothing to do with how much money you have in the bank, how big your house is, what kind of car you drive. Life moments at Zigdens Ag for us.
Are we seriously considering this? There were mushrooms growing in the bathrooms. So I don't think there's long-term health repercussions. TBD maybe. Talking about finances, you know, how we looked at retirement. I have nothing if not money. You just do funny things. Has added so much love and laughter to the house. I love to talk. No words of wisdom, I'm usually pretty short on that. A lot of times we almost finish each other's. Sandwiches. You went with sandwiches. That's comedy gold.
Welcome to the Mr. and Mrs. English podcast. I'm Megan. And I'm Sean. We're here to talk about the wild ride of raising kids and growing careers, keeping life together in the middle of all the chaos. So buckle up because we're all in this crazy journey together. Test, test, test, I'm good, I think. Am I good? I think I'm good too. Is that good? I think I'm good, yep. Well, I won't keep saying testing this time. We'll jump right on into this one. As you said, feet first, last time, I think.
But welcome back everybody. This is episode three, Mr. and Mrs. and happy to have everybody here. Yeah, thanks for coming back. Hopefully you've been finding this at least mildly entertaining. I know we're having some fun doing it. Yeah, yeah, no, definitely a lot of fun. And it's just finding, gosh, I don't wanna keep saying finding the time. I know, my takeaway from last time and some of my cuts, some of our edits was trying not to completely numb the audience to the fact that we're busy.
We're busy, we're busy. Because everybody knows we're busy. We all know you're busy. So we'll try not to, I think, keep saying that over and over again. But part of this is talking about the chaos train of life. And part of that chaos is just being busy. So speaking of which, it's early in the morning right now. Because I'm leaving for Vegas this afternoon. So we're trying to fit this in. And hopefully I can do some of the editing maybe while I'm away.
Yeah, yeah, I'll definitely miss you while you're away. The next couple of weeks have quite a bit of travel for you and the kids, different time, different kids. So we'll have a little bit of a different feel for the next couple weekends. It won't be a whole lot of true, five person, English family time. It'll be a little more split up.
But hopefully we can really then enjoy and that'll give us the space to enjoy time and the little moments with maybe the smaller group of kids that we have with us. Yeah, that's a good point. I know when the youngest and I went to St. Louis last year, that was good for us because he and I, I mean, he's the youngest, I guess we spent the least amount of time together. But he's also the baby, right? And I don't know if, I don't know how all babies are.
Some last born children, the babies of the family. I don't know if they're all the most difficult. I think I've heard that maybe they are. Is that true? I don't know. I can't speak for everyone, but I've heard that on a couple. We're both, no, I'm a first, you're a second. We're both seconds. Right, no, no, no, yeah. We're really toward the beginning and the oldest on the oldest side of our family.
So, but I have heard that that last one can be a bit of a challenge because they're trying to find, I'm not a psychologist, but they're trying to find their way in the family because they never had that one-on-one time with mom. They were never her dad, you know, just, they don't know where their place is. Yeah, that was kind of my point.
He, because he's finding his way and he's doing things his own way, the first two are fairly easy and the baby, the third, he does like to learn things kind of the hard way sometimes and that's just kind of, but because of that, I feel like I'm on him quite a bit more. You know, we talked a little bit about good cop, bad cop last week and he knows me as bad cop, for sure. I mean, I'm dad first, but I'm bad cop second.
And it's nice to have those opportunities because when we went to St. Louis, we got some fun, you know, bonding time and I'm looking forward to this week and it'll be four days, you know, he'll have fun with his soccer friends and I'll be able to hang out with the soccer parents, which is always fun too.
But it's always, but it'll be nice to have someone on one time and hopefully grow those, grow that relationship and make some of those lasting memories for it because I feel like with him, I do search to try to make that connection sometimes. He's still young. And he is.
I think for him specifically, because of that birth order, he craves that time, that one-on-one time with us, whether, or I guess that'd be two-on-one time, but one-on-one time with either a single parent or both of us, cause he just doesn't have that. Whereas it's much more natural with our oldest because he had that. And then our middle child, so I think birth order does have to do with this. I think personality probably plays into it as well.
Our middle child, I don't feel like she cares to have that one-on-one time with us. I think she's just like, whatever, I want to be with my friends. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's right. Now that she's older, right? I mean, that's really kind of blossomed in the last year for sure. And it was building its way over the last couple of years, but she is a social butterfly, which is not how I grew up. It's not how you grew up either. I mean, I think we both, we both, you're a self-stated extrovert.
I am, yep. And I am definitely a self-stated introvert. And I think we both fit both the definitions. It's not that we're trying to fit ourselves into a box that we want to be. And I think she's developing into an extrovert. Yes. Early on, right? I guess my point there was you're an extrovert now, but when you were her age, you were more introverted. At least you didn't have that social group.
Right. Well, I think part of it too is the different roles that we play and the different aspects of our life, right? I remember when we were first dating, because you know me as an extrovert, I love to talk. So I guess podcasts makes sense, right? But I told you early on, I'm like, my family thinks that I'm really quiet. Because I'm one of five kids, I have some very gregarious siblings, and I was not that way. And so I think they always saw me as probably an introvert.
Yeah. So I think she's an extrovert, you know? Whereas our oldest is maybe a little bit different, I think he's probably more of an extrovert outside of our family, but inside of our family, he's a lot more quiet, reserved. You bring up scales, right? There's scales of levels of introverts and extroverts and whatnot. And I always smile when you talk about your family, because you are an extrovert, for sure.
But when I think of your family, I think of them as nuclear level extroverts, to some degree. But that being said, that was interesting. When we were in Hawaii this year, we went out there with her family, with your family to celebrate, what, 60th? 50th wedding anniversary. 50th, I should have got that right. But 50th wedding anniversary for your parents. And one of your older brother, who is like, and I've told the story about him a million times, like he is just off the walls.
Fergarious is the best words you can say. But I've always told the story about him, that he'll come down in the morning, and he'll tell a 10 minute funniest story you've ever heard, you know, about making toast. Yeah. You know, I mean, he can just go. And he's hilarious. But he told me in Hawaii, that he considers himself an introvert. And so, that blew my mind. Because I am 100% an introvert. I hate the limelight. I don't like being in front of people.
If I'm at a party, I'm happy to be a wallflower. And that is not this guy. So again, different levels, you know, on a scale of where these people come in. And I think it's interesting just to see, you know, our children start growing into that. And you know, people that watch this, that have children too. I mean, that's, we always say it's the honor of our lives. It's a pleasure, you know, to watch them grow up. And you know, it is neat to see that. It really is.
I think as, maybe when they're babies, we spend so much time taking care of them. And now, as we move into this, you know, kind of pre-teen, early teen years, we're starting to see who they truly are. And it is the pleasure of our lives to see and be able to say, I truly like who you're becoming. Yeah, yeah. You're a really cool person. Yeah, yeah. I know you said that about our middle daughter, that she's cool, you know, compared to how you viewed yourself when you were in seventh grade, right?
And I mean, she's got way more confidence, probably than I have now, honestly. Me too. You know, I think confidence is something that a lot of people struggle with. And I know through my life, I've always struggled with that for different reasons here or there. Not that I'm not a confident person, I've got plenty of confidence, but there are places where everybody struggles with that. And I'm sure she does too, but I just love that she's starting life out at a high level of confidence.
Yes. Versus having to start out at a low level and learn to build that. Similar to, I always say, I always tell you too, I had to learn to be outgoing. I was very quiet and we can tell those stories of, when you first took me to your Christmas parties, back in Chicago when I was still, I mean, early thirties maybe. Right. You'd introduce me to somebody and it would be, you said you would count it in the back of your head. How long?
It was 30 seconds probably, where it was like, okay, he's good for 30 seconds and then he bolts and I'm stuck now carrying on a conversation with the person. Yeah, it was like, hi, I'm Sean, great to meet you. So that's really all I'm interested in talking about because I'm out of things to say. Yep, yep. I'm out.
(blows kiss) But over the years, that has really changed and I think you do a lot of self-reflection and something that I love about you and I think I should learn from you is the amount of self-reflection and just progressing and pushing yourself to get out of your comfort zone. You do that much better than I do and that is why you've grown into a person who, I think most people in our lives would be like, you're telling me Sean's an introvert?
I don't see that because you've learned to be an extrovert in the appropriate situations. Yeah, yeah. And that's one thing that as we raise kids, like our oldest, he's much more like me.
Although I do see at times him being much more outgoing than maybe I was, but he said something to me and maybe I said it to him too, but I do remember being a child and I grew up in a different kind of household, but I remember telling my parents like, you guys think I'm just this quiet person that's always mad, you know? And I was like, I'm not. At school, I've got friends. I've got great friends at school. I'm actually happy. I laugh with them.
It's only when I come home to this environment that it's not like that. And so I love that he's kind of said that to me, you know, to somebody like, you know, dad, I'm not always quiet. I'm not always tired. You know, it's always, how was school? Good, we've already said that. And it's like, what's the other thing he says to me? How are you? I'm so tired. I'm tired, I'm tired. He's always tired. Always.
Honestly, there's been times when it was like, do we need to have your like hormone levels checked or something? Because wow. It's the phase. And he's got how many, how many 16 soccer practices a week or something like that? It's something like, I think he spends like 16 hours a week training for soccer. Yeah, because he's got school soccer in the morning, which we get up for at 5.30 in the morning. He's dropped off sometimes at 6.30 for varsity soccer, or JVA.
And then he's got club soccer at night. Yep, for another hour and a half. So, I mean, most days of the week, he's, okay, so my math was wrong, but it's pretty close, I guess. Three hours a day of training, minimum. Minimum, with soccer games in the league. And so he has a right to be tired. Yes, he does. Yes, so. But he does tell me while he's at school, with his friends, he's like, I'm happy. I have fun, you know, I do laugh at people. I talk all the time. Yeah, and I think he does.
And he's someone that I think we talk about, like, does he struggle with confidence? And, you know, but then I see glimpses of him. We went to a homecoming football game, you know, for our high school here. And it was, we did not see him except from a distance, and he was a social butterfly. It really was, I mean, he was sitting with this group of friends, and this group of friends. And so that was so cool to see him in his element. Yeah. And just enjoying that time. Yeah, yeah.
It is, and, you know, part of me wanted to parent him at some point through this process and being like, hey, and I have said it to him, like, buddy, everybody else is nervous too, you know. Have confidence, go out there. If you, just be one of the confidence ones, because everybody else is nervous, everybody else is worried about this and that. And in the end, it doesn't even matter. I mean, like, if somebody doesn't like you, okay, brush them off, you know.
There's a lot of people that will like you. Because you're a likeable person. But I don't know, I guess I'm kind of finding that everything we taught them, we've said this before too, everything that we've taught them that they know, we taught them by the time they were three years old. Right. You know, and, you know, to the point of our youngest, they got to learn things on their own.
And that's hard for a parent, and I'll stop talking here in a second, but it's hard for a parent like me, especially who, as someone who grew up in a household that, you know, we had some difficulties in. And I'm not trying to harp on that right now, but the point being is, I learned a lot of things by, you know, the hard way too, right? The school of hard knocks. And I want to pass that along to them, you know, but I don't, maybe they don't need it.
Maybe they've already, everybody's got to learn it their way. I think there's a lot of truth in that. And I think that we do have some kids that like to learn the hard way. And then I was very different. I never pushed those boundaries. And so I just kind of always stayed in the lines. And so I think trying to balance that out, and then it's harder for me to say, hey, do it this way or don't do it this way. Cause I just kind of always didn't push those boundaries.
I never tried to get in trouble. But I was like, oh, my parents, you know, I never, maybe a little bit of background. I never even had a curfew. Cause my parents were like, "I know you would never push it anyway. So I don't even have to tell you when to be home." So it's probably gives our kids a nice balance because we both had different personalities growing up and how we learned things.
And I think that's just a big part of our success is because we're so similar kind of where we reached our final kind of destinations when we matured as adults, but our upbringings and our life's path and journey to get to that point were very different. You know, you were kind of an all American household. You know, I grew up in a blended family. And, but through all that, we've been able to pick and choose kind of how we, what worked and what didn't work, right? When we raise our kids.
And I'm sure people listening have similar, you know, I think that's how people kind of are attracted to each other. You have to have those similarities, but you also, I don't think people are attracted to their exact self, right? Opposite to tract. Right, right. Well, and I think for us, we talked about it in the last podcast about how we have a really competitive family.
That our children come by their competitive nature, honestly, because both of us are competitive, you know, but you have to have someone, you have to have that balance of, okay, I'm the one who's gonna concede here because you're digging in or, you know, you have to have that balance. And I think part of that is because of the upbringing that we had, it definitely shapes who we are. And then it kind of molds you as a couple. It's no one's a perfect person, but you can be a perfect couple.
Yeah. For each other, I guess I should say. (both laughing) You can be a perfect couple for each other. That's funny, it hit us both at the same time, but you can be a perfect couple like us. Like us. You know. All American couple. No, no, no, we have as many challenges as just as anyone else. You have the angel voices and the light from heaven. That's hilarious. I haven't had my full cup of coffee yet for the record.
Yeah, no, we're sipping on coffee for this morning, the one because we're early and you've got a one-on-one with your boss later today. I do. In an hour or so. So we gotta make sure we get this in kind of before work hours. Right, right. It's actually, I'm usually more fresh in the morning. And so usually it's a better time for speaking on a podcast or speaking in general. Well, it's funny, we're kind of just talking about self-reflection and all that kind of stuff.
And I think it's fun to hear stories on this show, and I gotta get better at just kind of sharing a story instead of preaching, you know, because personal anecdotes are always interesting to people. Sometimes, if you're an interesting person, and I'm not, so we'll just stop it there. But my point being, you know, is that I'm doing this morning show podcast, which is fun. But one of my favorite parts of it is I'm reading these self-help books, right?
And it's for personal growth and just kind of growing as a person. Because I think that's a journey you're on your whole life. And I've been on that, you kind of mentioned that earlier, I've kind of been on that my whole life of getting through adolescence in a difficult home. And then, you know, I lost my basketball scholarship. Then I was in a total downward spiral. So there was a long time I was just trying to figure out who the heck I was and where I was going.
And these books, I know you've been listening to it too, they've actually been helpful in the kind of self-reflection of where am I going? And even at my age now, how can I still improve? Right, right. And I love that you do that because it actually helps me think about it differently. I used the analogy, we were having some conversations a couple months ago and I was like, I just, for me personally, and this is right, wrong, or otherwise, I kind of just go with the flow, right?
I've tripped into, for lack of a better word, I've tripped into what I like to do. I tripped into a lot of things in life, luckily, right? Whereas I think you've had to self-reflect and be much more purposeful about the steps that you were taking. Yeah, yeah, I think that's true. And you talked about it earlier.
I mean, people that know me really well know that, you know, I've been to counseling earlier in my life and I actually went to counseling, you know, probably within the last 10 years, you know? Not because I was ready to jump off a bridge and I'm not trying to make light of that, but because, you know, there's long-standing things that I just felt like I was holding and that were a negative seed inside of me, right? That I wanted to just deal with, right?
And I wanted to unpack that with somebody where, you know, I felt like I could just get it out of me, you know? And so I brought this up because I just, I found it to be interesting reading this book. Right now we're doing Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. And, you know, I do say it's, we're halfway through the second part of it. So we're halfway through the book almost. And a lot of his principles are so simple, right? It's like, don't criticize other people.
Take an interest in other people, you know? Right now he's talking about just simply smiling at people and, you know, just, but ultimately he's talking about just being a good person. And honestly, for me, it's like, it's this person I wake up every morning thinking that I know I should be. And then immediately something might derail that good mood or those good intentions of the day.
And it sets me off a little bit onto a different pathway, you know, for a time being until I can either steer back or maybe it puts me, you know, on the wrong pathway for a while during that day.
So I'll keep talking if you wanted to, I didn't know if you wanted to jump in there or not, but my point being here a little bit is it's interesting because even at our age, and when I think I've got it together to some degree, I'm still not preaching this book, but I'm still, you know, doing this book review. And I'm going, oh my gosh, I don't do that. I haven't done that. Have I really been, have I taken that real interest in other people?
Because so much during this time of our lives, we're self-focused. We're building a family, you're building a career. And that's what you're doing. And it's tough to find time to fit other things in there. And some of this was, you know, taking interest in other people.
And I've talked for about 30 minutes straight now, I feel like, but I know there's people in my life that I haven't, people that I do care about even, that I probably just haven't slowed down enough and taken that genuine interest in them. So I really, I just really feel the journey of life is constant and that growth is constant. And that's exciting. And that's part of what this podcast is about too. And I'm right there with you.
I think the inertia of the time of life that is in front of us right now, it kind of just takes you and you focus on, and you almost get into fight or flight mode of like, I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this. And if you're not prioritizing friendships and other things, just genuinely taking an interest in slowing down for a moment and investing time, and people like that's a trap that you can fall into. I know I've fallen into it.
And so I've been a listener of Now Morning Serial. I've listened to every episode and every single one, I take away those nuggets and I'm like, I got to be better today. And it's what I love about the book that you're unpacking is that it is so digestible and it's so relatable. And if you can just take little bits and incorporate it, I think it'll really help nourish those relationships that maybe you haven't been good at.
Yeah, well, it's funny, because I often think to myself that the title of the book is "How to Win Friends and Influence People," but it could also be, well, no duh, you know what I mean? Like, it's so simple at times, but those simple things we just sometimes skip over because we're selfish or we're just in that moment. And I'm just going from one thing to the next. I know there's times I'm sitting on the sideline or I'm walking to the car or when I'm around, I'm four days ahead, right?
I'm thinking about what was I supposed to be doing? What do I need to do? How do I plan? What do I do with these extra 15 minutes here? And we talked about it a little bit last week that, part of the, or maybe it was two weeks ago, talking about New Year's resolution is slowing down and just enjoying that moment. One example, yesterday, I'm walking out, taking the trash out, and I've been just going, going, going, trying to catch up, I feel like a little bit here.
And I literally was walking out, taking the trash out, and just for a moment, heard the birds, felt a little bit of the sun on the skin, even though it was colder, but that crisp air, just clean air, for one moment I did just go like, you know what? We're blessed. This is a good life. You need to do that more often, I think. I think so. You specifically? Well, no, me specifically. Us in general, people in general. I do think me specifically.
Because you're so just, no. So in my own world, I'm so selfish. And maybe this is, apologies, and I'm sorry to people who are listening who maybe we haven't been, or invested the time, that we should have. So maybe it's an apology to the listeners, and knowing that we're working on it, and we're trying to get better. Yeah, and I will not walk that back at all. You're right on that. But I would just add that it wasn't, nothing, none of it would have been intentional, right? Correct.
Because there are some people, and one of the things I was gonna say when you were saying it, talking through this, was that some people are so good at it. So good at it.
Just, you know, send in a text here or there, and it's like, you know, I've reminded you at times, we have good friends that, you know, just moved to Colorado Springs, and we were becoming good friends with them, and they just moved to Colorado Springs, and they're great people that I'd love to have a further relationship with, you know, carry that on, and I know she texts you sometimes, and you are historically-- Terrible at it. Yeah, you're a terrible texter.
I mean, anybody that, some people will text me, and they're like, "Hey, do you know if Megan got it?" I'm like, "I'm sure she got it." But how long has it been? Has it been over 18 days? Because if it's been over 18 days, she probably hasn't got back to you. But we've talked through, like, hey, if we want to really invest in these relationships, we have to take the time just to send a text, even, and that's the bare minimum. That's the bare minimum, and I am notoriously bad at that.
And so this isn't like a, "Shawn needs to get better." It's an, "I need to get better," so-- I'm not pointing the finger at you right now, either. That was not my intent. No, it's just a good, like, I think there's probably some people maybe listening who feel the same way, like, "Yeah, I'm not very good." So, know that that's been my New Year's resolution, and so I'm usually really good in January.
Maybe if you text me, like, do it in January, because I'll probably get a response back, but-- Every 12 months? Every 12 months, I-- January's a really good month to text me. Yeah, yeah, it's a great month to text me. If you text me in July, maybe I'm a little slower in my responses. You might be on vacation, then. It's true, it's true. It's the one month we get off of soccer, generally. Generally, yeah. Oh, July's a great month.
Yeah. That's, I think all that to say is, you know, I think we also impose a lot of extra things on our lives. As we were celebrating our daughter's birthday, it dawned on me that it was four years ago that we moved out of our house, and we embarked on a journey to build a new house, only about 200 yards from where we had been living for eight years. And just the additional job that we added onto us as we were building the house.
All of the interesting stories we've had over the last four years and the journey that we went on. So some of the busyness is self-imposed. A lot of it is. A lot of it is. First off, I can't believe that's been four years since we moved out of that neighborhood and embarked on this, but you're right. You're exactly right. You make a really good point there, as usual. I need to have a ticker on how many times I say you make a good point, but-- Might start going negative after a while.
That was a bad point. That was a bad point. Just going down, that's hilarious. We do, a lot of it's self-inflicted. And I know it's on my part, because I think if I were to be an alien that's watching you and I and our relationships and our lives and how our paths, you know, our life's journey go, it's, you're just kind of steady, Eddie, you know. Oh yeah. I'm going, you know, just rowing in a straight path, you know, in smooth waters.
And if they look at me, I'm probably on a jet ski, just going side to side here and there. And you know, I fell off the jet ski, I'm getting back on it, you know, I'm all over the place. You know, like Pong. And a lot of that, to your point, is self-imposed because of just me, you know. I got this entrepreneurial thing where I've done all these businesses. You know, I added them up, I've had 12 different companies that I've started. That's awesome. And some of them have been great.
Some of them have not. But every one of them has taken time. And that's a self-imposed, you know, suck of time that I don't have to do other things with. Right. I work with someone and his phrase that he uses a lot is embrace the suck. Gotta make that t-shirt. I don't know where that might be sold. It's more like a Spencer gift kind of a thing. That's right, that's right. Although-- It's a little bit borderline.
Although there's a guy in our soccer team that's really good at making t-shirts, maybe he'll hear that. Oh yeah. Who gift one to us. Oh yeah, that would, yeah. Although I do have a t-shirt making machine now that's been up in the box in the laundry room for four months now. And so yeah, it's about finding the time. I was just gonna say, that's another time thing that I have in just another one of those barrel tangents, like I wanna make t-shirts. I wanna put these things on her.
We will get there. But apparently for me, it's the difference between, I've been good about sending texts, but not about making t-shirts. Yeah. So I think hopefully we can still balance it all. I think, I don't know, I almost feel like some of those more self-imposed things and the trajectory that some of those self-imposed projects that we take on, they do help shape your life and they add color.
I think, yeah, I'm the steady Eddie Rohrer and you're the whitewater rafting person, but you kinda need both in your life. Like I think, at least our kids would think we were really boring if I was the one completely in charge of our lives. And I think you were the one completely in charge of our lives, they're like, get me off this ride. So I think because we have both, we've been able to add a whole bunch of color, a whole bunch of great experiences to our life.
Yeah, and you kinda started that with, four years ago we decided to take this tangent, right? And do this thing and at that point in time, when we met, I was trying to go to grad school for architecture, because I absolutely love residential architecture. If I could go back and be a builder or be an architect, I probably would do it. But that was at the University of Kansas and you were in Minnesota and in hindsight, I think I made the right decision.
I left Kansas to go be with this girl I was just met on a cruise. And that's another story we can get into at another time. But I say all that to say, that's one of those things inside of me that I always wanted to build a house. It's just something I wanted to get to if we ever had the financial capability of doing it in a custom house, right? Like we built our Pulte house when we were in Chicago and that was our first home. But it was a spec home, not a spec home, but it was a Pulte home.
It was a semi-custom. Semi-custom, that's right. But this was a full custom house, ground up. We drew squares and rectangles and whatever else it might be. Yep. So we started on this journey and it was something that I always wanted to do obviously, but that journey of what I thought was just gonna be a straight, steady Eddie rowing turned out to be way more chaotic than we thought it would be, right? And it's added a lot of color.
And now we're in a beautiful home and we're making more memories here because you did not want to leave that house. I did not. I think this was the first time in, well at the time it was about 15 years of being together where you and I had a completely different view of what we wanted to do. And so this was usually, I mean, I'd say, we're usually on the same path, 100%. We have the same decorating ideas, design ideas. We have so much in common that usually these types of things are easy.
Even major career moves, we've moved a lot in our relationship and it was always 100%. If we were to independently say our answer, we would have said the same answer, right? This was one where we weren't. And so we ended up after a lot of discussion saying, okay, we're getting a lot of discussion. Maybe a couple of tears on my part. Sorry. Oh no, no, that's not. That's not on you. But we ended up embarking on this journey and I don't regret it at all, at all.
And I just, I told you, I was like, it's gonna take time for me. We're gonna need to be in this house and make it a home. And we're absolutely there. We love it. But it was a little bit turbulent there. You had to handle most of it because you're so good at the design aspect and I was completely overwhelmed. Yeah, well, that was part of our discussion. I mean, A, you didn't wanna leave the house that we'd been in for eight years and our children had kind of grown up in, right?
Our youngest was a year old when we moved in there and he was eight years old when we left it. So it was kind of the house that they knew. And I don't know that they wanted to either because part of the story here is, and people that don't know, we sold that house in order to buy the lot and we ended up renting a house directly across the street where we live now. And that house was about a quarter of the size of the house that we moved out of. Oh yeah. And about 100 years older. Uh-huh.
And it didn't, all the doors didn't close and all the windows didn't shut tight. And that was an experience to get everybody like, hey guys, I remember walking through that place going like, I think we could make this work. Like I'm trying to sell it, but in my back of my mind, I'm like, are we seriously considering this? Yeah, and I think it was, we both came back to, we can make anything work for a short amount of time.
And it was honestly the best, it was the best thing because we could be right across the street from the house we were building. And it was probably a good learning experience for our kids who, we are blessed. We'll go back to the statement you said toward the beginning, we are blessed and our children had never had to share a bathroom. Like I grew up sharing a bathroom with four siblings. Like, I don't know, that was just how I grew up.
Our kids were a little bit pampered in the fact that they had always had their own bathroom. Well, now they had to share. And they actually had to share a bathroom where the shower didn't quite work. So they kind of had to take what we call bowers, which is the shower and a bath at the same time because the water didn't come out of the faucet very well. So it was always very strange for them. But they had to really be like, oh gosh, we don't have as much as we used to.
But I think they learned a lot through it. I think they were like, it doesn't matter. I'm no less happy. We have great memories. We laugh a lot. Yeah, no, it was a great experience, even for me, but for our kids for sure, to your point that happiness isn't based on material things. Happiness has nothing to do with how much money you have in the bank, how big your house is, what kind of car you drive.
You can be happy in this house that was literally falling apart as we lived in it, because we brought the happiness home. Home literally was where we were. Yes. Right? And we ended up being fine there. Do we love it? No. And if that was a long-term solution for us, would we have had to replace windows and doors and all that? Yes. Maybe improve the ventilation in the bathroom because quick side note, yes, there were mushrooms growing in the bathrooms. As disgusting as that sounds.
Black mold in our bathroom. Black mold, yeah. It was only a year and a half, so I don't think there's long-term health repercussions, but-- TBD maybe. TBD. We have some amazing memories. I think about Christmas morning, there was no less joy in that time because of where we were living. Now, it was chaotic because we were also building the house. But there was a whole bunch of anticipation too. So it wasn't all bad, but it definitely, that was one of those life moments that Zigdans egged for us.
Yeah, it definitely was. It definitely was. But you're right, in the end, it was great. Home is here now, and there's a lot more to talk about on that subject. We don't have time to go into it on this show, but talking about finances and planning for that and how we looked at retirement with that and building this house. So more to come on that one probably over some future episodes here. But ultimately, I think, as you said, we kind of have settled in to our own routine here now.
Yeah, and I think we have, hopefully now that that big project, and even, I think that was maybe a learning from both of us, is that we kind of thought once you build a house, it's kind of done and you're good, but no, actually, there was a lot more there that kind of took time even after we were in the house. So I feel like now that we've been in for a year and a half, we're really settling in.
We're settling into a new norm, new routines, and hopefully we can really put being, winning friends and influencing people at the top of our list again. That would be my hope. Yeah, that's right. That was a really good way to bring that all the way back. I mean, no duh, right? No duh. We always have a highlight where we repeat each other on some one thing. I know, but I think that speaks to just, we do think a lot, I don't know if there's other couples, but out there that do this.
A lot of times, I mean, we make, whether it's a sarcastic comment, or we just know what each other's thinking by a look. Well, it's like a lot of times we almost finish each other's-- Sandwiches. Yep. (laughing) I was wondering, I really was wondering what you were gonna say, because I knew you'd pick up on the sentences thing, but I didn't know if you'd go with sentences, and you chose not to, you went with sandwiches. Well, you know what? Which is great, no, that was fantastic.
That's comedy gold right there. Yeah, no. Press. I am nothing if not funny. (laughing) The irony there, I'm actually not a standup Canadian. I did not get that gift. Neither one of us are by any means, but I would say the kids would say, when I'm not bad cop, I think my sarcasm within the household is probably the one that wins out the day versus-- Yes. You often say, and I do feel bad. You always say, you guys are laughing at me.
Oh yeah, I don't know if that's just the mom role to play in the house, but honestly, I truly am probably the butt of most of the jokes. I think there's a parent in every household that's like that, right? And it has nothing to do with the fact that, I mean, you're incredibly intelligent, you're sophisticated, all that kind of stuff. So there's no making fun of you. You just do funny things, you know?
And anybody that's been around, well, maybe you don't do them at soccer practices and at the PTA meetings or whatnot, but at the home, you're silly in a way, and sometimes you just do funny things and it's-- Yeah, yeah, and I'm probably trying to be funny, and then it doesn't come across as funny. It more comes across as like, you're just kind of a loser, mom, it's okay. Oh, well, we don't wanna end on that low note there.
You're not a loser, no, it's just-- I think we try to have, I think our family looks for a lot of opportunities just to be light and laugh and find the sarcasm and the funny and things. Yes, we do, and our-- And you make it easy. And I make it easy, so I mean, I am-- So you're contributing to the happiness of our house. Right, right. And I'm sure most of it's an act anyways. I'm sure it is, uh-huh, wink, wink.
And I think our daughter picks up on that, and I know we were talking about her earlier, and we were talking about confidence and how a lot of people, we, you know, have struggled with confidence, and one of the things, I don't think she struggles with confidence, and part of that is because she has your sarcastic sense of humor. She's hilarious.
She is so funny, and she can be so self-deprecating, but yet not in a way that she's ever putting herself, truly putting herself down, she's just willing to put herself out there to be lighthearted and funny. And so between the two of you, oh my goodness, you guys can keep us rolling for days. Well, the Paris voice, Paris is our dog. Is our puppy.
Is our puppy, our miniature dog sound, and she, I think a lot of people do this, because we heard some other families do this too, but we just have basically a cartoon voice for her, and she narrates our lives, and she narrates her life, and she's self-deprecating, and she's mostly an idiot.
You know, is how we kind of character, her core character is maybe, I would say, but she adds, she's a lot of love by herself, but that character and persona that we've invented over the last year and a half with her has added so much love and laughter to the house, I think it's so funny.
Yep. But, anywho, well, I know we gotta run to an actual work day, I gotta run and catch a flight, taking, you know, so we'll see the soccer parents out there in Vegas here in a few hours, but you know, you wanna sign off, any words of wisdom? Yeah, no words of wisdom, I'm usually pretty short on that, but I am excited to come back, I think our next podcast will probably be unpacking some trips to Las Vegas. Yeah, well, I can't talk, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, so.
Okay, so I guess I'll have to carry the next podcast. Yeah, so I, no Vegas, no Vegas stories out of me. (laughing) All right, well, thanks for tuning in, and we can't wait to see you back next week. Okay, see ya. See ya. Have a fantastic week. (upbeat music)