Hello and welcome to episode 5 of BuzzHub's Movie Taco podcast. On this edition we go vroom vroom and review Fast and Furious 6. Is this just for Star Trek or for Fast and Furious as well? I don't know. Yeah, you don't care about Fast and Furious.
then pour your blood into your head and drink it out and then fix your head and put a red straw and be a scarecrow. Okay, fine. We say, we go where no... movie taco episode has gone before I know it's so boring and talk about Star Trek Into Darkness and we catch up with every other no I don't like it that much it's not that good there's a song by the band who sing I crash my car into a bridge, I don't care. You know that song?
I don't want to hear it. You don't know that song? I don't know. I got this feeling on a summer day when you were gone. I crashed my car into a ridge. I watched a little bird. I don't care. Fine. It's a very popular song at the moment. It sounds shit. Star Trek shit, don't buy it. Go buy Iron Man 3 or The Great Gatsby, which is actually better.
No, he doesn't. I have it on my iPad. I have them all. But The Great Gatsby has a song called No Church in the Wild by Jay-Z, Kanye West, Frank Ocean. Which, yeah, the movie looks shit, but actually it doesn't because all the critics I like have said it's good. Everyone else says it's shit. but Grace Randolph, Mark Kermode and Paul Morley all say it's a good movie and they are the critics I respect the most.
Maybe it is good. That is so cool. Kian will be like slobbering all over that when he gets here. I made my own little clicker. I took a piece of thing in there. And then you cut yourself by accident. No, no, I dipped into ink of a pen and actually wrote. Okay, back to the movie taco. And we'll also be flying off to Italy. What else would be flying? Come on. This is only like if it has a special style of riding. This is only going to be like in 10 minutes.
And we fly off to Italy to talk about Pierce Brosnan's new Danish language film, Love is All You Need, or The Bald Hairdresser, as it's known in Denmark. Please, James. Please let me do this for five minutes. I'm not talking to that. You are? But you're talking and it's disruptive. So what? So what? They can't hear me if you're talking. So you're disruptive.
They can't hear you. It's probably you downloading the thing five times. It's not. We get like 10 downloads. Oh, I have to tell you a story. So that was my story. Sorry, listeners. You didn't get to hear it. So we're going to begin today's show by talking about Fast and Furious 6. Now, at time of recording, this is not yet out in the United States. How do you like your pie? This isn't out in the United States.
So, Fast and Furious 6 is opening in the US on May the 24th on Memorial Day weekend, the same weekend as Hangover Part 3 and Epic, which is set to harm slightly its box office take. but um So, Fast and Furious 6, or Furious 6, as the director intended it to be known. You know, last was Fast 5. This was going to be Furious 6. At the beginning of the movie, it comes up as Furious 6, which I think is a way cooler title than Fast and Furious 6.
Have you actually seen any of the Fast and Furious? No, you haven't. Well, they're good. You'd like them. Especially the fifth one. The fifth one is good. You'd like it. It's really good. It's got the rock in it. He's amazing. This one is even... Is he your guy, Dwayne Johnson? Yes, he is. Why is he called The Rock now? Because he was a wrestler.
No, he wasn't. He was a wrestler in the 90s and he was known as The Rock. Now he's an actor, so he's Dwayne Johnson. He used to be, for a while, he was Dwayne The Rock Johnson, but now he's kind of dropped The Rock and he's now Dwayne Johnson. He's like one of my favorite actors. He's great. Because that's a cooler name. He's The Rock. He's just called that because that's what his nickname, even in prior movies he's done, didn't some of the directors call him The Rock? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he's a really good actor. I like him. And he's been in four things this year. He's been in G.I. Joe Retaliation, Pain and Gain, Snitch, and this new one. Snitch was directed by a guy called Rick Roman Waugh, who was probably related to me in some way. Anyway, Fast and Furious 6 comes. He's in it, Vin Diesel's in it, Paul Walker, and Michelle Rodriguez.
Michelle Rodriguez is back. Apparently she was in the earlier movies. Basically, this is even better than Fast Five. I really liked it. It is so misogynistic, so sexist. There's so many shots of, pretty much every shot of a woman in the film starts at either their cleavage or their legs and goes up and it's just really really offensive but if you ignore all that
and you ignore the terrible acting and the terrible screenplay and the terrible humor it's a really good action movie there's some amazing scenes there's one with a tank on a freeway there's one with a plane and there's a car like
comes out the front of the plane after the plane is brought to the ground by cars they're all in the trailer if you've seen the trailer you've seen the film but it's a bloody good trailer and it's a very good film i gave it four stars you can read my full review of it up on buzzhub.tk now Next up, let's talk about the partially Danish language film Love is All You Need, starring Pierce Brosnan, known in its native country as The Bald Hairdresser.
and it's about a woman, a hairdresser living in Copenhagen who is recovering from breast cancer and she comes home one day to find she's getting prepared to travel to Italy for her daughter's wedding. And then she walks in on her husband sleeping with one of his colleagues, a beautiful young blonde. So then she has to travel to Denmark, not with her husband, but with the father of her daughter's fiancé, who's played by Pierce Brosnan, who is one of Ireland's greatest exports.
And then mayhem ensues. It's basically Mamma Mia without the songs with a bit more class. It's funny in some parts. It's depressing in others. It's pretty bad. But I liked watching it. I gave it three stars. And you can read all about it on buzzhub.tk right now.
Okay. Not now. It's time. What if they listen to this while doing their homework and they're not allowed to go? What if they listen to this on the computer? Well, what if they're not? Well, what if they're not, then they can write it down and go back later. Well, what if they don't have a computer, but they've managed to get this out of French?
Well, then they won't look it up, will they? No. They don't have to. I've said enough about the film. They don't need to read my review. If they want to, they can. If they want to, you said, if you want to, look it up. Yeah, if you want to, look it up. If you don't want to, don't look it up. You said, look it up, like, look it up, bitch, you know? Okay, you don't have to look it up.
Speaking of which, there's a great bit in Fast and Furious 6 where Tyrese Gibson's character, I think his name is Roman, yeah, he's in his private jet and then it shows the outside of his jet and it's got, it's Roman, bitches! But written on the side. Anyway, fast. Now it's time to beam me up, Jimmy. I don't feel like it. Oh, in the transporter. Oh, my God, Klingons. Spoiler alert. Yeah.
There's Klingons in the movie. That's not a spoiler. They're in the trailer, as far as I know. But, anyway. So, I will now give my spoiler-free review of Star Trek. And then I will spoil it all for you, but I will go and sit over there where you can't hear me.
Star Trek Into Darkness. This is, of course, J.J. Abrams' second Star Trek movie. He's going off next to make Star Wars Episode VII. Do not spoil it for... I'm not going to spoil... I don't know what got there. I'm not going to spoil it for you, okay? Just let me talk about it. I don't want to spoil it for them. I'm not going to spoil it for them. I'll warn them first.
No, that doesn't mean... It does if I go, spoiler alert, if you haven't seen it, turn it off right now. They'll go, okay, I'll turn it off. Why wouldn't they? Because what if they wanted to hear it? Don't do it. Then they can hear it if they want to. Don't do it. Fine, I won't do it. You should wait until everyone has seen it. They should have all seen it by now. It's been out for two weeks.
True. Two weeks. Actually no it hasn't. It's only been out for a week and it's been out for two weeks. And people have a life. Yeah. Fine. I know. You know what? No one listens to this anyway. True. Except for you. Except for me. I haven't done it with a single episode. You have not done it with a single episode?
Well, you should go download my X Factor Buzz podcast because that's very popular right now. I don't care about the buzz. Yeah, neither do I. It's shit. Anyway, it's Star Trek. This is J.J. Ames' second film. So basically, let's do spoiler-free review for a while. So at the beginning, Kirk, Spock, Ahura, Scotty, all those lovely people from the Enterprise are on a mission, on a planet. and then they suddenly accidentally reveal their ship to the natives
And this causes many problems for Kirk and Spock back home because they are responsible for this mistake. This is not spoiler. This is in the trailer. It's in the first three minutes of the movie. It's not spoilers. No one knows. No one knows. Everyone's seen their bloody...
Yeah, they've seen the trailer, but they don't know that they were nations. If you don't want to know one single thing about Star Trek, I would recommend that you do not listen to this. If you do not want to know one single thing about Iron Man, I recommend that you... more with the pop.
Star Trek The Darkness is brilliant. It's the best film I've seen all year. It's better than Iron Man. It's better than Fast and Furious. It's better than Oblivion. It's better than G.I. Joe. It's better than all of those movies. It's the best thing I've seen all year. It's better than Oblivion. I gave it five stars on BuzzUp. Five stars. It's probably the best thing I've seen since... It's the best thing I've seen since...
I'm going to say it's the best thing I've seen since, yes, The Miserable, Django Unchained. Actually, I saw The Miserable before Django Unchained. Best thing I've seen since Django Unchained. And I don't give many movies five stars. Last year I only gave five movies five stars. Ted, Moonrise Kingdom, The Avengers. Les Miserables and Django Unchained. And this is five stars. It's fantastic. There's so much. I really enjoyed watching it.
You haven't seen Moonrise Kingdom and you haven't seen Django Unchained and you probably haven't seen Le Miserable. You wouldn't like Le Miserable but you would love Django Unchained and you would not like Moonrise Kingdom. You would love Django Unchained though.
What's Django Unchained? Django Unchained is Quentin Tarantino who made Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction. It's a western and there's like these guys going around killing slave traders and the slave traders kill the black people and then the black people kill them back.
and Leonardo DiCaprio's in it, playing this evil guy who lives in a big mansion. Well, I don't think we're Leonardo DiCaprio in here. It's obviously going to go something weird. Yeah, it's excellent, though. It's got Jamie Foxx and Christoph Waltz from Inglourious Basterds in it. Yeah, it's brilliant. Um, but anyway, um...
Star Trek in Darkness, I loved it. There's some great action scenes, there's great characterization. Looks beautiful. Benedict Cumberbatch is fantastic in it as a character who changes identity halfway through, but you'll probably already know that because they spoiled it online.
And it's just really great fun. So, you know, Star Trek Into Darkness, best film of the year so far. I'd say it's going to be one of the best films of the year by the end of the year. I mean, Man of Steel might be even better, but we'll have to wait and see. And finally, we claw our way to Iron Man 3.
I think everyone here has seen Iron Man 3. So do you want to spoil it? Will we spoil it? Spoiler alert. We've already talked about it. The Jimmy and Luke show loads. So maybe Dean will talk about it. Because we've talked about it already. So if you haven't seen Iron Man 3, come on. I mean, of course they've seen Iron Man 3. It's made $1.9 billion. Everyone's seen Iron Man 3. If you haven't seen Iron Man 3 yet, fuck off.
If you have, let's talk. James, big spoiler. Pepper dies at the end. Oh, God, that's a spoiler. Yeah. She doesn't actually die. She goes back. I know. Have you watched it? Yeah. And then, uh... My favorite part is, you know, when he's like, the prodigal sun, the suit comes in. Honestly, I... You loved it. You want to fucking see it. I watched it a second time last week, and I liked it, but then I saw Star Trek, and now I don't care anymore.
I'm sure you won't. I don't care anymore. I really don't care about Iron Man 3 anymore. Star Trek Into Darkness is just so much better. Because after seeing Star Trek, I actually considered going back and giving Iron Man 3 5 stars just to be nice, but I thought, nah, it's not that good, it doesn't deserve it. Although there is a full DVD rip-up on... the cinema the Iron Man DVD yeah so I don't have anything to say about Iron Man 3 if you do then go ahead
Okay. Kian thinks that Thor is like Conan the Barbarian and all of them. Oh, in Fair City last night there was a bunch of Thor stuff. No, no, no. No, it was funny. What happened to your lad? Did they find the tea? No, he threw it in the biohazard bin in the hospital. So they're never going to find it. But no, no, no. There was a bit out of Thor. So Dermot and Joe, who were...
Dermot and Joe wanted to have sex, but they didn't want their son Ben to find out about it. So then Ben had to go be minded by Orla. And Orla was like, we have some DVDs. And Ben goes, what DVDs? She goes, Thor. And the parents are like, oh, you don't mind money. She goes, oh, well, what's the harm in watching Thor for a few hours? that was funny Johnny you missed my reviews of Fast 6 and Furious 6 and Star Trek Into Darkness
Really, I don't think that's a bad thing. It is. Star Trek in the Darkness is the best movie of the year. Five stars. Yeah, that's... Fast and Furious 6 is the best movie of the Fast and Furious movie. Four stars. That's... That's yours. That's your opinion. My opinion is always right. Everyone knows that. No, no, no, no. You put... I put... this.
Yeah, Miserable. Like a fucking musical. Yeah, a fucking musical. Jesus Christ. Oh, God. Musicals. You saw Johnny. Musical is the greatest genre in the cinematic. world and if you don't like musicals then you're a fool. That's all I can say. There's no reason why you shouldn't like musicals unless you're a rampant homophobe or an idiot. So you're one or the other. Let's hope it's the second one.
Musicals are amazing. That's like halfway to my fuzzy bear impression. Does that sound like fuzzy bear? Actually, it's been a long time since I heard Fozzie Bear. Oh, it's Miss Piggy. Can you hear this? I'm Miss Piggy. And then there's Kermit. In Fair City, there's this woman who sounds exactly like Fair City.
Fair City? You just said in Fair City. There's someone in Fair City who sounds just like Fair City. Oh yeah, she sounds just like Miss Piggy. And her husband's name is Dermis, which rhymes with Kermis. It's really weird.
Ah, ah, ah, irony. It's definitely delivered. They were like, yeah, cheers, cheers. Here's Piggy. Let's call her husband Dermot because it runs your carpet, yeah. I've said it twice now. Ironic irony. All right, well, that's all for our... episode here This is the last proper episode of the movie tackle for this kind of season
I may do some solo episodes over the summer reviewing Man of Steel, Despicable Me 2, The Wolverine, The Lone Ranger, those kind of movies, but for now this is the end of our ensemble ones. We'll be back in September.
in September talking about we'll be back in September talking about everything we've seen over the summer thank you for listening make sure to download the Jimmy and Luke show and the Buzzroom and visit buzzhub.tk over the summer every week for all of my film reviews there'll be at least
one or two every week of all the big releases. It's going to be great. And listen to other podcasts. Make sure to listen to The Jimmy Luke Show and The Buzzroom. Thank you. Goodbye. James, say goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.