“I’m Not Trying To Make Gravy” | Preparing for Holidays

I've got all my packing pretty much done. Cool, cool, so that I can enjoy the weekend with the family and not spend all of Saturday and Sunday packing and stressed out and overwhelmed. I love it. I wanted to be really intentional about that because I'm not gonna see them for three weeks, and I didn't want the last two days, like the last weekend, to be that Yeah, that's organized. I was like, very on my shit, Oh my god, sure, I blocked out time to get the

rest of my packing done. Let me tell you something. Okay, speaking of packing, when I told Brad this afternoon that I had to I was reminded him, well, I have to record at five. He got this look, blanched, he had this look on his fees and I was like, I already packed all your recording stuff. And I was like, oh, so I started drafting an email to you and everyone else on the team and I was like, hey, so I can't record today. And then as I was writing it,

I was like, I can't do this. Her like he has to find he has to find it, like he has and he did. He figured out what box it was in, pulled it all out, set it all up, and I was like, delete email. If I have to record on that weekend, she's gonna be fuck, She'll do it. She'll be first. I would have done, and I would have been pissed. Yeah, I would have been. Yeah, there's still a tag on my sweater. I just want to so I'm getting more better at not taking the tags

off my clothes. Wow, it's a cute sweater though, thank you. It's very cute. It's like very I think it's like a Marino wool blend and it looks like vintagey like, yeah, it does. The sleeves are kind of this like belt not like it's like Dolman. I don't know what that's exactly right, but I don't you're asking the wrong person and more better. Today's pod is about one of my favorite topics in the whole Wide World and slash universe, getting ready for the holidays. The holiday season is my

favorite time of year. It's the most wonderful time of year. Some people would say some people would say that, what do you think We can't we can't afford that. No, we can't. Don't do that. Cut Okay. I do love the holidays. I really love the holidays. I also sometimes get a little too stressed about them. Ah, yes, well you're not unlike what is it like? Forty percent of people go, yeah, I think we have like a yes

here it is from the American Psychological Association. Forty one percent of people surveyed said that their stress increases during the holiday season. The APA also found that thirty six percent of people said the holidays feel like a competition. Oh no, I don't like that. I don't like that. This is specifically we're talking about, like preparing for the holidays. So I think that that's a good thing to talk about, like the feeling of getting stressed or the feeling like

it's a competition. Yeah, how can we How do you actively avoid those things? What sort of happens when that starts happening to you? When do you start prepping, like holiday prepping? Like when do you start like doing or

do you holiday prep? Do you prep at all? I do fly about the seat of my pants because no, because I've learned in the past, especially since I've had kids, there have been years where I didn't plan enough or prepare enough, and then everything was a fucking shit show the night before and I got sorry, allowed to dressed and overwhelmed, and I was and I just was like, I can't do it like this anymore. I I for me, do you mean like specifically, like food, Like what do

you when you say like everything was ready? Yes, like food not coming together or like missing things or like just it being like you know, two days before and the store doesn't have shit, they're already sold out. Everybody like was more prepared than you, And then you're like,

what the fuck is my backup plan? And then you're stressed and you're like everyone's gonna hate my Thanksgiving and regret saying yes to coming to our house, or like, you know, it's Christmas Eve and maybe we've had a lovely Christmas Eve, but now I'm wrapping fucking presence until he d never again. That was one Christmas and I was last year. I'm so mad at myself for doing it, And because then what do we do tiredesday? And how do you what do you do? Like this is a

good rap, it's a good one. You wrap them when they arrive. So when they arrived presents, where do you we hide that ship? Everywhere we have, uh, we have like a little storage place next to our garage is kind of like a room with shelving. A lot of them go in there and we lock the door. I was gonna say, how do you keep them out? The kids don't really go in there, especially in the winter because like the bikes are in there, so like it's more of a place in the summer that they go

into for like bikes and pool toys or whatever. But in the winter they kind of don't look in there. We also have cabinets in our garage that they don't really go into that we or like high cabinets up high places. And then we have those like uh closets that you see a lot in California houses where it's like the storage on top of the closet. Uh huh yeah, like the little doors. Yeah, we put we throw shit up there too because they can't reach up there, so

we go for like up high places. Okay, sometimes under bed, but under bed is like always risky, tricky, yeah, risky. Yeah. Because I used to like pop the tape off the side and like slide the package out and open it, slide it back. That's how I read all of Anne of Green Gables before Christmas, Oh my god, because I opened it, split it out. I would read like during the day and then I would slide it back in,

you know. And I feel like I should ask my mom where she used to hide our Christmas presents because I could never find where my mom hid our Christmas hand you should were really fucking good at hiding our Christmas presents. Fucking pissed, yes, if she would get so fucking pissed. And now and now that I'm a parent, I'm like, I don't know if I would get mad or if I'd just be like, oh, it's such a bummer for you. It be a surprise. Yeah, I little kids.

I still believe in Santa. So they're also not really looking yet. M hmm, do you know what I mean? Like, I do know what you mean? Like, and so is this is probably makes me so sad. This is probably his last year believing in Santa.

the gifts that we do. So when the boxes arrive, uh, we might hide the box at first, but then we try to like wrap things right away smart so that that's it, just like in the box. Well, yeah, no, I get rat first. Sometimes we keep the boxes because the box is being useful for hiding things. Yeah, but I just try to wrap it and then hide it. And yeah, yeah, okay, this is good advice. You know, my mom does this thing that I work and hate, and she still does it. She is a bag person.

She loves a bag with tissues the oh, and I because of that, I grew up like our like desiring real wrapped presence with foes and ribbon and stuff. So it is it's way more fun to unwrap something, I think than to have some like tissue on the top of a bag. So but because of that, I'm like, I'm searching all Like I'm not even kidding you. I have like four or five rolls of Christmas paper in my laundry room right now that I've bought over the course of the year that are just waiting. Because I

love wrapping presents. I like, I love the like experience of it. The problem is that in the past, I, you know, I'm new to having a kid, so like I just never had as much like stuff stuff to wrap. So that's good advice about wrapping them. Kind of as they come in and then hiding them. I think I'm gonna have to hide them in the attic or something. But luckily it's pretty cold that that time. They're in California.

The thingk's gonna overheat or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and so yeah, like I said, especially like for littler things, if you just save one of those Amazon boxes and yeah, keep that get things and then put that like at the top of a closet. Thing, he just looks like an Amazon box, like yeah right, They're not gonna be like what's in there? Like yeah right, yes, that's good, that's good. I put the tree up on the if I was allowed to. I mean not that my listen,

it's a partnership, my relationship as a partnership. However, however, not unlike the way that I don't want to hear the football game on every speaker throughout the house, he doesn't want to see the Christmas tree on November first. So there's a negotiation, a compromise that takes place. Christmas tree goes up on the day after Thanksgiving. When does

yours go up? Same m Yeah yeah, this year, however, I will be away, So I have instructed my eight year old to as soon as they get home from their Thanksgiving trip, he needs to start bothering his father to get a Christmas tree. Nice? Nice? Would you guys get a real one? Yes? Wow? Does it last just last holiday season? Oh my god? I always kill my real ones? I always really, Yes, they dry the fuck out. There's well, you got a water, o girl. I have too many of these things going on, But you just

have to water. I'm like, every four I listen to me, I'm saying this, And if my husband was here right now, he'd be giving me such a like, because you have to. He's the one, He's the one that remembers to water them. I mean they do get a little dry by Christmas, but I mean it's fine. A great dry Christmas tree still like holds up all the ornaments. You know it works. Do you have a I have a fake Christmas tree because I love putting it up and not worrying about it. Yeah.

I When I was a kid, I had these. We had this set of Christmas lights. If anybody could help me find these Christmas lights, I would be so grateful. They had a little box attached to them, and it was music that would play oh, like different Christmas songs, but just like a few bars of each Christmas song and then it would switch to the next and the lights would flash to the Christmas songs Breakin loved them

when I was a kid. I would like spend I'm not even kidding you, probably like I could spend a good hour like looking at the tree, looking at the ornaments, like hanging them in a certain way, like making sure like the light was coming out through the back of them. Like I just fucking obsessed about the tree for Christmas. And I'm still the same way. Like I love I

love putting the ornaments on it. I love taking everything out of their little boxes and rappers like I have all sorts of I have way too many for one tree. I have two trees now I might have a third tree maybe at some point. I have the Christmas leg lamp. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, yes, yes, oh yeah, I have that lamp. Oh my god. It lives in a permanent spot in our house now, in the basement. Because last year I was like, yeah, no, I really love the slamp. Can we just leave it out all

year round? Yeah? But I was like Charlotte's leaving in the basement. I decorate as much as I can with real greenery. But this year I bought these like really pretty I think they're Dutch because we're in Canada, so there's like all sorts of cool new stuff to bring with. And we bought these really pretty paper chains that I'm gonna make with my sister and hang those everywhere so we don't get meals everywhere. So we're gonna do that like watching Christmas movies, like you know, just like with

a little glu stick or whatever. We get it out of the way. What about do you usually host Thanksgiving or do you Hell, the idea of cooking for more than myself and bread and maybe rads is so incredibly like hell no, like no, why would I ever reject anyone to this. This is not this is not my forte. Like I'm not gonna do it to prove something to myself,

you know what I mean? Like Matietuca, she lives in Sun Valley and my cousins live in Lacrecenta Andantros and stuff, and so we got Thetuka's house every year for Thanksgiving, and sometimes we have the traditional stuff and sometimes we have more like Bolivian food. Yeah, same at Christmas, Like Christmas is usually like Bolivian food, like there's a lot of yeah, same Christmas. Eve was always like yeah, I mean we've talked about it, No chu wanna just being

like very a big deal in our culture. But yeah, growing up, Thanksgiving was hilarious because my parents didn't you know, my parents came when they were teenagers, so they didn't grow up obviously with Thanksgiving, and so they every year it was just sort of like, uh, we're going here this year. It was so made up for like other

people's houses and stuff, wherever they were, wherever they were invited. Yeah, and then I think we basically asked to We hosted a few times, but every year it was just I didn't grow up with Thanksgiving feeling like a big deal holiday at all, because every year my parents were just like, I don't know, yeah, we're going They invited us, so we're gonna we're gonna go over here, and I'd be like, who's that and they'd be like, you know, there's some friends,

you know, so he goes in through my mie, you know, Like all right, yeah, oh god, that was actually really now that you say it, that that I just connected something for myself. I think I try to make the holidays really fun and nice and calm on my house because I hated when I was a kid being dragged to parties and stuff that I didn't know anybody, and I'd be like upstairs looking for a book and kind of stressed out because I didn't know any of the kids. And I have a hard I had a hard time

making friends when I was a kid. So now I make the party come to me. Yeah, we have an annual holiday party. Have you been to it yet? I think every time we're here, I'm out here. It's really not saying one this year, so no problem. But we usually have like and we Brad and I plan for it, Like we have a plan of like what we're gonna do for food, you're gonna we have like a signature drink. We usually hire someone to help help with the bartending

we have. You know, I go out and like go crazy for paper goods and I have like themed paper goods. And last year we had VS Tacos come and do catering for like two hours. I think we had Tacos in our front yard. It was pretty awesome, Like and I got that idea actually from Joela Trulio's holiday party a couple of years back. When you go, yeah, Taco Truck, they throw great holiday parties too. There's always say so

much free parties. Yes, they really, some people are just My mom was a gifted hostess too, and I definitely picked up some stuff from her. I do like hosting, but I feel like I get more stressed out about it that my mom did. Like she just was good at it, you know, and she'll and I do like hosting Thanksgiving. I like hosting Christmas. I like doing the cooking so long as I am on top of my prep. The prep is everything, the prep no long as I make notes and lists and I buy my shit on time.

See that's the thing that the phone is so helpful for. The notes app is a lifesaver, like making yourself notes, making yourself a list where like you check things off. Sharing the list I think is really helpful too, because then you know, I started doing that a lot lately. Yeah, you're not double buying, You're not like everybody knows what's going on. You know, Oh, what are you getting robs

for Christmas? Like, well, she's already getting these things, so like keys, don't buy her anymore stuff like that, like she doesn't need it or whatever, you know, Like, uh, I think the notes apps are so helpful. I think also keeping in mind like when things need to happen, like before a party. I'm really yeah about planning because like so many days before you need to have like all of the you know, all of the food purchased

and space made in the fridge. So like what are you gonna do first, Well, you got to clean out the fridge because like you're gonna need space for the trays and stuff. You need to pull out the trays. You need to like, you know, as long as you're like like you said, as long as you're on top. I'll write a schedule for myself too. Yeah, like the timing of things when they need to go in the oven. I need to write that so hard out because otherwise

I will get distracted. I could cut off and then I put alarms on my phone to make it better. That's the thing that's like that is that to me would be very stressful because what I want to have happening when I have people over is I want to have a drink in my hand and my little slippyes on and no makeup on and I want to just be like hanging out. I don't want to be thinking

about food I have with Thanksgiving. I feel like Thanksgiving food is pretty easy because I mean, once the oven goes in and just the turkey goes in the oven, it just is there. It's just there, and there's a lot of shit you can make, like the day before. That's what I try to do. I try to do a lot of shit the day before where it's like finishing in the oven. So I'm not cooking on Thanksgiving, like I'm maybe making a quick thing or I'm also or like I'm not trying to make gravy. I'm ordering

fucking gravy. I'm not making cranberry sauce. I'm like an ordering cranberry sauce and making dessert somebody bringing dessert or I'm ordering delicious dessert. Like I hear this, So I like try to simplify it because I do want I my mom could host and cook and do all the things and like still have a good time. I cannot. I have to. I can't be like working too much

while there's a hang going on. Yeah, Like I want to be able to hang and like I'm also gotten better about Like last Thanksgiving, my friend my friend's Ricky, and Monica came over. Monica's grew a great cook, so I knew in my head. I was like, when Monica gets here, she's going to finish the green beans for me while I check on these things in the oven. And that's exactly as soon as she showed up. She

was like, what do you need me to do? And I was like, I need you to finish the green beans and she was like great, and she like read the recipe and she finished it and it was like and then it was also fun to like be in the kitchen with her cooking, like because then that was a hang so, oh that's cool. I try to like prepare for those things too, like who can be my helpers? That that's really cute that I can hang out with.

And also like I'm not doing all this year yeah yeah, yeah, myself and trying to like be a martyr at my thea's house. She's like doing it all and she doesn't want any help. That's how my mom is, so it's kind of like you can't really And also the way her kitchen is shaped, it's very like there's a clear

captain of the ship, you know. Yeah, and so you can't really like get in there and get in the mix really, right, So you sort of have all the time in the world in your hands, which is like kind of nice but also kind of stressful because yeah, then it's like you don't have an activity other than like eating cheese and ruining whatever, you know, appetite you

had for the turkey. Right, although this year, I feel like I want to try to bring some games or something for the kids to play because like they get bored. You know. Yes, that would be last year, Yes, that I didn't have enough activities for my kids, and I also there weren't any other kids for them to play with. Ye, so so they were like they were like this is this sucks? And also a Thanksgiving, did your family like

have the TV on the football game? No? Okay, so that's what's happening in my thea's house, And that's really hard because it's the only big TV in the big center of the room. So like the kids can't like watch a movie or something like that. You know, it's like the adult males have commandeered the sorry to put everybody in a box like this, But that's what's happening at my Thea's house. Yes, and like everyone's watching the TV. All the guys are watching sports and like the kids

are bored out of their bourgs. So maybe one of my goals this year now that we're talking about it, is to prep some games and stuff for them to have like activities while the cooking is going on, so that they're also like not under foot and being like, yeah, you know what I mean exactly. Yeah, I did the

same thing. Like a couple of new board games. Board games, yeah, would be good or like new something like new and fun like or even like a craft sometimes is great, like yeah, you know or that have you seen that? It's it's a drinking game. Obviously you can't play the drinking game part with the kids, but it's like those little no, I'm just kidding. People do it at Christmas. I've seen tiktoks. Guys. I did take TikTok off my phone again, Okay they did. I did not update. Yeah

for the following the TikTok journey. It is back off the phone. People are so mean about it. They're like, did you take TikTok? Like, clearly I put it back on. If I'm uploading a video. Okay, clearly it's on my let's try to use critical thinking. Come on. So people will take these like muffin pans or cupcake pans and fill them with a little rap, tiny little wrapped presence and then stick like a number on them. I think

that's how it's played. But then you take a ping pong poll and you try to bounce it into the cup, into the muffin pan cup, and then whatever's in there you get to open, and that's your gift. Sometimes it's like a dollar bill. Sometimes it's like, oh, I love that's like a little toy or a keychain or something like something little and small, or like a piece of candy or something. And yeah, and like people will miss and then they have to take another turn or whatever.

But I thought that would be cute. The ones that I've seen is like involving the whole family and then if you miss, you have to take a drink, right, which I thought was very clever as well. But may I'll do that for the whole family so that they can all play together, and then the guys that are watching the football game will feel like losers. I like this plan. Yeah, I like this plan. And if you want to have something for like when they miss you could do something like you have to run a lap

or something. You have to run a lap, you have to do a silly dance or oh I like the dance. Yeah, oh I love the silly dance. You have to make up a song about me, yeah, using the words beautiful, talented, and smart and not in that order. Go Kid's seven eight. Oh I love I love that. That's really fun. That's really fun. Yeah. I feel like the magic of the

holidays is like individual specific to everyone. But I think the thing that makes me feel like the connection to home and like hunkering down and feeling like we're all together. You know, this has been a big one for me because we've traveled for some Christmases and I just came to the realization where I was like, no one is going to work as hard as I am to make the holidays magical for my kids. Yeah, Like it's important to me. I want to do it. I want them

to have it. I want them to have those memories. And that just happens the most when we have Christmas at home and there is It's just something about waking up in your house on Christmas morning when you're a kid, and the idea that you know, Sanna was in your house the night was before, and like all that magic that is just hard to replicate when you're not in your house. Yeah, yeah, I can see that. I feel like, I don't know that I spent a lot of Christmases

away from home when I was little. I definitely have as an adult a lot me too. Yeah, that's been my experience as a kid. No, it certainly has been. You know, for example, the last four months, I've been on this job and I've been here, and although we're so lucky to be all together in this lovely house that we rented, it's not our home. Yeah. And that mattress isn't my mattress, and that bed's not my bed.

And you know, the other day, Roz said, I can't wait to go home to my room with all my pictures on the wall, and I was like, oh, yeah, her pictures, like all the things that I hung up for her when she was a baby. You know, she like, yeah,

mbers them and loves them. And there's something about I think, decorating your own home and I don't know, like the history of Christmas and stuff although we could probably do it more better on that, But there's something about like being home and that the time and the weather changing and the sort of the wheel of the year being on this part of like it's cold and the days are shorter, and you know, the sun's not up as long, and you want to be inside, you want to hunker down,

you want to like, you know, get that and hold onto that, you know what I mean, like and hold on to it, honestly, because like there's there were times when there wasn't that much abundance during that part of the year, the year you were eating stuff that like you'd saved from the harvest and you hoped it got you through to the spring. Name your top three holiday movies. Top three go go ooh, ooh ooh, like just holiday or holiday, any holiday movie that you're you're top three.

Like if I was like, can only watch three this season and you can watch them on repeat, you can only watch three? I mean Nightmare four Christmas is a big one in our house, and I have grown to really you love it. I love it and Axel loves it. Oh my gosh, I used to be love actually, but that film has not dated really problematic but I will say I do enjoy watching it. I used to watch it every Christmas. I know, I don't I still do,

I watch it. I do love it. There are parts, there's some really great parts in it.

freaking good. It's like the perfect story. What I want in my career is to do a Christmas movie like Elf that becomes this like iconic that is on my back. Plasic film like that would be a dream come true. Christmas vacation, another iconic Christmas vacation either it's okay, yeah, it's all right. And then a Christmas story. Christmas story forgot. I can never get into a Christmas story be completely honest, girl,

I love it too much. I'm sorry here, you sorry, listen, and not everything's for everyone, you know, some people have tastes and some people don't. Ah, it's just so sweet to me. It's so sweet. And I loved when I was especially like as an adult, but even when I was a kid, the parts where he would have those like imaginary stories that he was telling himself, like his little imagination would go oh, and they would like cut to his like internal you know, monologue or story or

you know, his little film. H oh. I just loved, I loved, loved. The only thing that bothered me about that movie as a kid. Side note was the mom's hairstyle. I was like, what is going on with your hair? It's like this perm. It's a very very eighties perm, okay, and it looks so anachronistic and it bothered the fuck out of me when I was a kid. And then I read as an adult that she insisted that they

not do anything. She like brought her own hair person and wanted her hair the same way that she always wears it. Oh girl, and that's why it looks like that, and that's why it bothered me. Is that crazy? Isn't that crazy? Do you know what? Uh? Actually thought of another one that I loved just so much as a child, that I would look for and watch every year. What were those stop motion Rudolph, Rudolph and Frosty movies? Fucking obsessed with those animated Frosty one fucked me up? Oh yeah,

that one is a little that one. Sad man. There's so many like sad Christmas movies for kids, like I know, usually involving snowmen like melt and don't get away and don't come back. They're fucking sad. I also love watching the Harry Potter movies at Christmas time. I love watching Harry Potter Christmas movie. I do too, because they always celebrate Christmas in them. Yeah, this is such a big deal in particularly London, I feel like, but probably all yeah,

all of I mean all the UK, I guess believe. Yeah. I think that's the visuals that like put that particular specific sort of English visual of Christmas. There's a pleasant yeah, old cuddliness, the walking this, all the bows, like there's just certain little things that are yeah, really beautiful. I've been shopping online trying to find a giant bow to put on the front of our house because I've seen them. I've seen other people do it, and I'm like, that is such a great idea. I love that idea so

much so, but I haven't found anything good. I decorate the inside of our house so much for Christmas, Like it's just everywhere that I'm pretty sure David's probably relieved that I'm not going to be here this year to do it. Yah, yeah, he might. He might be to decorate this year for Christmas. Oh, speaking celebrating, Brad just brought me a little glass of prosecco to toast the end of the time here. Nice, thank you baby. That

is so sweet. It's really funny when he does something that he's like kind of proud of, Like when he walks away, he kind of like swaggers. He's got like a little a little thank you. It's very It's quite attractive to me. That is attractive right to Canada celebrating. Here's to Canada's your show, cheers, do you start on yours? It's gonna be really fun and exciting. Thanks girl, I'm excited, nervous and all the things you feel before you start

a show. Yeah, well you feel those things afterwards. Too, which is really weird. I know, yeah, because then you're like, well, people gonna see it. It looks as good as it felt, all the real fury and matches up to the visuals. Oh what don't I don't know. Hopefully they can edit around it. Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be great. No, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be so great, more better. Oh yay. Happy, happy beginning of the holiday seas, happy

beginning of the holiday season. Make your lists, make your use your notes app, make your listen, check it twice. Okay, can your list and check it twice? Space things out, don't leave everything for the last minute. Play you can do it. You can do it. Got this, We've all got to do it. I find yes, I can enjoy the holiday season as long as I stay on my ship and stick to the list and stick to the operation. See to the list, and so you know, if the

list fails you, there's always next year. There's always next year. Yeah. Okay, guys, keep hitting us up with your questions and leave us some voice notes and tell us what you want to get more better at. Because I feel like I'm ready for the holiday season. I'm ready to like start prepping. I feel I feel pretty good about it on the side too. I know to It's gonna be good. We'll see you next time, See you next time. Bye bye.

More Bet Doude, you have something you'd like to be more better at that you want us to talk about in a future episode. Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried one of our tips and tricks? Suit us your thoughts and ideas at More Better pod at email dot com and include a voice note if you want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better with Stephanie Melissa is a production from WV Sound and iHeart Media's Mikultura podcast network, hosted by me Staffie

Beatriz and Melissa Kumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid, Leo Clem, and Sophie Spencer Zabos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Clem at WV Sound. This episode was edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and Hello Boy. Our cover art is by Vincent Remis and photography by David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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