MEN WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH US FT. PRAKHAR

Look, I think guys, standard first rate is how good you look. Like that's 70-80% of the job. So I think you guys are barely cutting it. But you're over it, right? Means if he has generational wealth, he doesn't want to pay for my nose job, then that's the pits.

Hi guys, welcome back to Moment of Silence Pod. I'm Sakshi Shivdasani. I'm Nena Bhahn. And today we have... I have to introduce myself? Yeah. Come on, do your job. My name is... This is part of our format. Hi, how are you? I don't know if you've seen me around. You see me laugh probably. Three podcasters in a room, they might have a lot of opinions.

Welcome to Bombay. Welcome to the podcast. How are you feeling? I'm feeling good. I'm very excited. I think you guys are very good at your job. I think you probably... It's a sort of myopia we ourselves have as artists. But I think you don't realize how good you guys are at your job. It's very entertaining to watch you. I like artists. Yeah, when you said artists, like suddenly I felt so good. You talk about me? Fuck, I don't look at myself like that. I'm telling you, I thought I was a creator.

Do you call yourself a creator, influencer, podcaster? I call myself a podcaster. Because I can barely do Instagram or any other platform yet. I can barely do video. Other than talking, I don't think I have a lot of video talent. So, yeah, I don't think... No, stop!

But you were saying Bombay is feeling a little hectic. Why are you feeling? Yeah, I can shit on Bombay all day. I think it's a soulless city. Largely. I think people have lost. their spirit between broken roads and money to be made and people to be fleeced. And so it's always very satisfying to the spirit to be here and watch what will happen if you come here.

That's my general opinion of Bombay. But I say it as a joke. It's not that serious. It's more stuff I talk to myself about in private. I have to say that like... Being from that side, moving to this side and giving it some time. I think it's a really like brutal city. But the more time you spend here and the more you understand the way this system works, especially in the kind of line that we are.

It's a very fruitful city. I believe you on that. But what is home like? Well, just to finish off that, I genuinely think Bombay people are way better. and i think the infrastructure i don't even want to say infrastructure just like the condition of living that i have back home is way better i like the space i enjoy the fact that it's not always honky and traffic jammed i i don't even i'm not even in central delhi i'm this uh tumor

that rests on top of Delhi. Faridabad. I know Faridabad. It's sort of like an armpit for extremely wealthy people who don't want to or cannot afford to live. In New Delhi for various reasons. So it's an interesting town. Very quiet. I really enjoy my time with my family. That's something I missed for a long time. I stayed away. I did whatever. And now that I'm back.

One of the best feelings I have is returning home to my dog. Aww. Right? It's like, oh, fuck. Thank God. So that part... i really enjoy i enjoy friends i've known for 30 years like all my life yeah my best friend lives right across the street and he's lived right across the street for 28 years so that part i really enjoy

Apart from that, it's whatever. And how do you get guests to go to Fareedabad? Because they don't even come to Andhiri. Really? I think it's a very, again, very Bombay thing. I've not had, almost never had trouble with that. Bombay guests come to Faridabad as well. When they're in Delhi, yeah. Oh, love to see it. Yeah. No, we don't even get people in Andhiri. Which is such a strange phenomenon. Yeah. Why do they want to do it in Bandra?

I don't think they want to do our boss. I'm just in the DM. Oh, they don't want to come. I've never asked them.

yeah it's an awkward truth that we're trying to make peace with yeah but it's okay well what are all your school friends up to what are the what are all the guys up to from your batch um most of them are very wealthy owners of generational businesses. Are they single? A lot of them, yeah, actually. Are you looking for a good looking guy? Yeah. Are they good looking? Yeah. Listen.

Dude, I was a really good guy, if you're looking. Can I please tell you, every time someone's like, oh, I have the perfect guy for you, and then they show me a photo, then I realize that they actually think I'm ugly. Like, you know, based on the person that they're showing me.

so I really like I'm having a decent day I'm not having a great day so don't show me now show me off camera let's just talk I can cry in peace I can cry in peace he pulled it up huh yeah no I think I think it's it's very interesting because now we're all about the age where we're getting married. So choices are like, it's no longer this infinity into which you're dating. It's like, decide for yourself now. So a lot of people are settling down. Settling down. Yes, and looking straight at me.

Is there a difference between the girls that they dated and the girls that they're settling with? Yeah. What would that be? I think guys begin to think about what it would mean to bring her home, which is very different from what it would mean to take her to a hotel room. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Like, so...

How they think what their parents will like becomes a huge factor like I've had very intense generally what women don't think guys talk about kind of emotional conversations with my friends um and particularly about relationships because i'm settling down and they'll ask me okay what do i do how do i think about it i feel like everything's working for me and for a lot of these guys

Over six feet tall, jacked, rich, well-educated. Everything's going for them. But the girls they date never stay around for more than 6, 8, 12 months. Why is that? Could be for a variety of reasons. People have complications with...

intimacy, people have complications with like forming long term trustful relationships. It's not guaranteed if you date, you'd find somebody to marry. Right? And it's not guaranteed anywhere. Like even in the West, I know a lot of people who got married three years ago now getting divorced. This is their first one.

Because that's the only out into a marriage there. You fall in love and then you do it. Here... Sometimes your parents enforce who you get married to and that causes a little more stickability. Yeah. But so a lot of these guys are asking these questions and you start to get into their heads. It's very interesting. Like I had asked one of my friends, I was like, Kamkar, make a list of qualities you want in a woman. He gave me 20 items. What are they? We want to know. Asking for some friends.

I'm fucking sad. And I'm like, this guy has come from Faridabad. I want to know because I mean, we often get told that we're unmarriable. So I'm just trying to see. Who's saying it? Who's saying it, you know? Doesn't matter, but I'm saying... In like comments or in... Oh, comments. Babe, no one has the fucking guts to say that to my face. I believe you on that. Not even my mother.

And she knows. My mom would straight say it to my feet. Not my mom. She knows her place. No, I'm kidding. I love you, mama. Yeah, so the question is... Is there some overlap in the qualities that I may have with these dream qualities that these boys six foot tall? generational wealth are looking for generational wealth the height is we're adjusting people we've made peace with a hundred crores who's fighting a hundred crores it's not a thousand but it's a hundred I would have made peace for

It's fine. 510 crores? 510 height. Oh, 510 is okay. Never compromise on the crores. Only the inches. Makes sense. Look, I think guys, standard, first rate.

is how good you look. Like that's 70-80% of the job. So I think you guys are barely cutting it. But you're over it, right? Shit. Means if he has generational wealth, he doesn't want to pay for my nose job, then that's the pits. No, no, I think the way... I think the way he'll be like, okay, whatever, I'll pay for a nose job. It's like, how many tax is a nose job? Like few, three depends on the country. So I think, yeah, looks, I think number two is legitimately.

how will they think you'd have babies or adapt to their family bro it's fine those are two different yeah i mean i'm talking about family orientation But I think guys begin to filter that which they're not thinking of before.

It's okay to be the crazy one before, but now that I'm getting more serious, I want somebody who I can think to raise a family with, who'll talk properly to my parents and so on, especially the generational wealth kind. Their wealth is guaranteed through their parents, so they don't want to piss them off.

That's a huge object of control in their heads. I do feel like there is some sort of trade-off. Like you can get like the generational wealth kind with who doesn't really have to go to office every day. You can take trips with them. That's most of them. Yeah, but you also... know that at the end of it, he can't advocate for you with his parents. For themselves also. I feel like in India, the prenup should be between father and son.

and not between husband and wife like i should be guaranteed this much wealth from your business so i'm not dependent on your manipulation to what i do with the rest of my life as a father i would not be okay with it as a son i would be like

Let's fucking go. You know there's no prenups in India at all. I know there are no prenups in India. You think I don't know the system is flawed? Dude, you really know a lot about all of this, man. It's very boring. Sir, you need to do a little bit. But, yeah. Okay, wait, wait.

Sorry, sorry. So they want to not go with the crazy one in your words. So do they not get bored with the safer bet? I mean, what are you trying to do? Have them be your entertainment? I mean, if you're in a relationship. No, I think I can speak for myself. My life is very entertaining work-wise. I want to go home not to entertainment. I want to go home to chill, to relax. Yeah.

I want to go home too boring. Like, I don't want my dad to do something new today when I go home. I want him to be the same guy I met last week when I left Delhi. You met your dad last week. Yeah. Shut up ya. It's a dumb joke. So wait, one sec, one sec. So what does a boring like marriage relationship look like? What are those qualities? So you come home, your wife is just staring at the woman.

One of her wrists is like this and you don't know if it's lit or not. She's so bored. She's tearing into the ass. You want to tell me what are the qualities that say that you're boring? That differentiate you from being entertaining? That differentiate you from being crazy?

Okay, I mean, I can speak about it again in my... Because we started this conversation about the qualities my friends listed out, right? And so I was going over those items. We failed all three. I think you made the cut on the first one. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. But whatever. One out of three is not a good score. I know that much math. So let's move on from that. It's fine. No Farida boys. Farida bath boys for us. About...

About what is entertaining and what is boring and what is crazy, I think like I think any whimsigality is untrustworthy after a certain point, right? Like if she's sending you hot and cold. yeah so like you know it's the same for girls i bet like if you're very hot and cold you don't know if i can rely on this one yeah um

I think that entertaining, frankly, guys, when they're in love, they just find the dumbest thing entertaining about their women. Like, it doesn't have to be anything grand or whatever. Like, I don't need jokes, particularly even cloud painting for nine hours and not taking a break. I'm like...

That's so cute. That's so amusing. You literally stared at a wall for nine hours. You had a brush in your hand, but you literally stared at a wall for nine hours. I cannot sit for 20 minutes. So it becomes very weird. how and what you start finding interesting about the other person as you get more into them. So entertainment is a function of liking somebody, not the other way around.

And do you feel like there's a difference between you and your friends back home because you had that experience of coming back? Most of these guys also will go abroad for a couple of years now. Okay.

Because all this money, what are you going to do with it? Yeah. You have to burn it in some Manchester University, some Leeds, this, that. But I wonder, like, any way when you move from school to college, there is a little bit of your first bubble bursting in terms of what you thought was normal. Yeah.

uh like you would have had a really big one did you have any kind of uh experience what college did you go to i went in bombay uni so i've never left the city have you left a pin code i have yeah three thanks for asking she's traveled so much traveled in the suburbs no but i will say like most of the guys i've dated have not lived in india and that that is like it ends up

being something I gravitate towards because I can't do like the hectic generational wealth type because see the thing is my job is online so even if I go to someone's house and I'm like very sweet very nice they have footage of me talking about nip slips on the internet so i i know that comes with that kind of thing so i need like a person who can advocate for me like and it's like oh this is her work this is what she does because tomorrow some my own bed

if they tell me like don't do this job I'll be like nice talking to you someone else's parents I'll be like oh sorry who gave you permission yeah I know what you mean yeah no and this um I'm realizing is a slight issue I've known somebody not from my city

who was in love with somebody else. And there was some obstacle to the effect of the girl liking to drink. and he couldn't advocate in front of his family and that just ended that relationship it was like many years of them dating and they were on course to get married it was just this one block that happens a lot like at least i'm sure you also know a lot of people that have been together for years and

And then finally, when it comes the time to get married, it's like, oh yeah, by the way, you'll have to live with my parents and they don't eat non-veg and they don't like drinking. Yeah, there's an asterisk. You cannot wear swimsuits. You cannot wear clothes that you wore the entire time you're in a relationship. drinking is suddenly illegal for women to do and my thing is like if you knew your parents were like that why did you keep me here we could time pass

Right, or if you should have been able to fight. Yeah, one of the two, like pick a battle. And frankly, I think you should scandalize your parents so hard that everything else then falls under the normal category. You know, but I see, so I think that women...

Just by being born, women are scandalizing their parents every day because your interactions, whether you like them or not, the minute you hit school, you hit puberty, you're sexualized. So that whether you want to scandalize, you don't want to scandalize, you are suddenly an object. As a guy also, raising a daughter is very tricky. Like, I don't want to really think about where my sister is or where my daughter is in that father-daughter, but like…

How do you not? So I'm just saying in that situation, like when boys also scandalize their parents, like boys could be drunk driving, doing really... Stupid, irresponsible, illegal things. But the moral weight of that still falls on. My son's crazy. Now, you have to find a very simple girl. You can keep him.

in some kind of reign and control. Why is it still on her? No, it's actually on sex. The only thing that will fix a bad boy is good sex. That's what your dad's trying to say. I thought you meant like sex as in gender. I was like, yeah. Are you saying sex and gender are the same thing? No. Means I'm not smart enough for that conversation. Okay, okay. I don't know what the edits of this podcast are. No, it's okay. So, what does a Farida baddie look like? I don't know if there are any, frankly.

Did you think of this before? Right now. I amuse my own selves. She comes home at 5pm. She has no other option. Does she want to stay alive? I would love to be a Farida man, whatever that means. The sun is on this side. I should rush home. When the sun hits Tughlaqabad fort, it's time to run back. When the metro is midday, you need to go home. When you can't hear the shooting range shoot anymore. Yeah, dude. I mean, yeah, I don't think there are any Farida baddies.

I think they're all extinct or they move to Bombay or Bangalore or some shit. And then they come back home with a set symbiosis. No! I think...

I don't know what happens to them really. Yeah. What do you do in Faridabad for fun? Yeah. Yeah. Gedi. Nah, nah. I think with small cities, with very rebel-y people... The houses are palaces and you build an ecosystem around it. So one of my very close friends has a private theater that's 60 people, maybe more, some vintage video games. You can, he uses it as a cigar club.

Nice. So it just becomes a perfect, all guys get together, hang out there every evening. You get a lot of time to do sports and whatever. So you have your hobbies that you can channel into. But there's no other place per se to spend your money. So we're never distracted by eating out.

There's never really a question of, oh, let's go eat out. None of that's really happening. And as a matter of fact, what do you girls do in Bombay to have fun? We do Pilates, we get matcha, we...

There's a lot of bombing lots of things. That stuff is overlapping with every city. You can shop, you can go like... cafe hopping you can go drinking you can walk on the road at like 11 30 at night sure that's so entertaining it's like such a high level concept i have just about figured it out like the first time we were hanging out she was like okay gotta go

the sun is setting and I was like babe you don't her mind opened yeah I get it it was amazing but even in New York I mean six seven years after three or four years I don't want another club you know you just flatten out and you start thinking i never thought i'd be done with traveling the world and going to cool parties yeah but it just happens very quickly

I'm slowly falling into the mind of what Bunny and Ye Jawani Hai Diwani was. I can't even differentiate. It's all Randeel Kapoor movies are coming of age. I don't know what he was. But that Bunny's entire thing of like, I want to travel somewhere all the time is basically a digital no.

mad and I think that's such a boring way to travel like I do agree with having like a base somewhere yeah and then like just going short trips and back home that's a European fantasy because you can live in Europe and do all these cities in two hours Nowhere else can you really do that. And how long have you been on the road? I come back from everywhere in five days. Five days. Have you done longer trips? Two weeks. I know you went to Mexico, that took like...

That was three days and that was four days travel. Yeah, that's right. But it gets, I've done a lot of backpacking and I've traveled alone for... more days than I can count and it just it also flattens out very quickly yeah I think backpacking hot take I think it's just something that men do to sound interesting it's possible I was also 19 okay yeah but uh no it's also when you're broke Because, I mean, if I'm traveling from New York to...

Colombia and I have to spend eight days. I definitely don't have $5,000 to burn for this. So you have to do it in like $800. You have to stay in $12 hostels and you go through it and you realize it's whatever.

Yeah. You want to say something? No. I was going to say that when you were dating abroad, what were like fundamental differences that you felt between like... women here, women there, or certain conventions that you may have had that kind of broke or became concrete? Hmm. So I dated... Twice. And they're two very different people in that. One of them was more white, more like, you know, your Caucasian American fellow. This one's Mexican. And Mexicans are practically Indians who drink.

That's really the large difference. Indians with tequila is Mexicans. So with her, culturally, it's very similar. Family court, this kind of stuff, you know, like we are very on the liberal urban side as Indians. But it's the average everywhere else in any metropolitan city, right? So you relate to them on that level, no problem, no issues. I also have not dated an Indian girl since I was 19.

Oh. So it's very hard for me to draw a parallel because at 18 years of age, your dating life is very different. Your expectations are very different. So I don't know what a standard Indian date looks like.

at this point. I've been on some dates in the middle. So you bring your parents, they bring their parents. Right, yeah, right. No, that was never going to happen with my family. I scandalized them way too much for them to ever consider getting a raise. Bad culture. Yeah. But okay, what about your friends?

I mean, I'm sure you guys chat. Like, did the experiences seem very different? Yeah, sure. I mean, in any relationship. With her, with Cloud, the unique thing was that she was getting out of many years of... towing the line, getting good grades, going to a good school, getting a good job. She'd finally arrived in New York. I was getting out of my bad boy era where like, scandalize your parents, go travel everywhere, have your raves and parties and travel the world solo.

I was getting into a more let's stabilize and work era and she was getting into a let's explore and see what the world is. Let me be more courageous about it. So it was very interesting watching another person flower. Like that's I think. such an understated, beautiful aspect about my relationship. I saw her first art show and I saw her be the star of a room and to see it from a distance, something that guys like us can be very used to because, you know, we are...

whatever famous in that way. But I'm watching from a side. And people coming up to her congratulating her. She's selling her paintings. I remember when it was a dream. I remember when she bought her first canvas and painted it in my house. I remember deciding on that apartment because it was big enough for her to paint and me to do content. And for that arc to now be... I think she's doing a huge show in Mexico City in August or September and then some in Delhi. That was insane. Because...

I'm a very courageous guy, decently provided for. My father's an overachiever, mother's an overachiever, brother's an overachiever. At best, I am the dark horse in the family and I'm doing well for myself too. Nobody's ever surprised when we do well. I was never considering that my life is hard. But then you see her life shape up like this.

I see it with some of my friends. As a matter of fact, this t-shirt I'm wearing is one of my friends who's built this up from scratch to a multi-corrobed business in a few years. That part I have such a kick out of. I think that's the kind of relationship that a lot of us really...

don't have active examples for in this country. It's that true sense of companionship where both people are bringing power to the relationship and then when you have that as a foundation you can really leap and go so far.

great example in my parents. Yeah. Imagine having that and then I realized the number is like 80%. 80% of my friends don't have their parents who are compatible. And my father defended my mother with so much vigor and my mother defended my father with so much vigor that it was very natural for me to have this kind of great relationship.

All the girls I've ever dated have been great relationships. Some of them ended and it's their fault, obviously. But they've been great relations. I was just thinking, I was just wondering whose fault was it? Thank you for clarifying. Do you sometimes...

Do you feel like when you see your friends and some of them maybe not being able to advocate for their partners in front of their families just by virtue of the business family setup, do you feel like a little bit of a failure in that friendship? Think about it like this, 30 years down the line, when they look back, it won't even be a thing they remember, generally speaking.

Okay. And neither will the girl whose heart got broken or vice versa, guy whose heart got broken. No, I'm saying even if they're married, there are many times that like, in that setup specifically also, that there is a... very heavy expectation on the woman. She does make a big transformation into a wife role. Wife, daughter-in-law, like now part of this family. It's a huge movement. Farida baddie. Farida baddie. Come home by 4.30. It's afternoon.

and you know maybe you knew these knew these women as they were before they got married and now you see a different side of them oh yeah and you see that they're partners are not being able to advocate for them. Do you feel like should I help my friend make his wife less oppressed? If I were to give honest opinion to my friends, I'd be like move out.

Live close by but don't live together. You're actively complicating your life. You're underestimating how tricky the saas bahu dynamic is no matter how good the saas or the bahu is. Don't put them in the same house. And don't be in the same house with your father if you can't fight your father. Because then you're just actively oppressing your own self.

Literally. It's just two oppressed people. Exactly. And I think the boat is already missed by the time the decision comes. So the minute my father says, hey, you are not allowed to do this at 30 or 29 in my case. Yeah, it was 10 years ago, I should have scandalized him.

10 years ago, I should have pushed the boundary, made sure the rules are renegotiated. And for a lot of these guys, because I've known them all my life, I've been telling them. They won't believe my father. Let him find out. It's okay. So that we get along and understand he's an adult who makes his own choice. He's not going to be... I can suggest him at best.

Right. And all those things. So that dynamic has to be preset. It's very hard at 30. It's almost shocking. Like it blindsides me each time. Whenever I see my guy friends out and about. And I've seen them for ages and they're these great people and they're super like funny personality. And the minute I see them with their fathers. Oh, you're so right. Bro. It's embarrassing to watch. I was like, who is this person? This guy has become a little shell of himself.

I'm like, wait, we are all adults. Like, how did we, how did you miss the boat on? Metaphorical castration. Yeah. Yeah. It's, we have two lives. I don't know about girls, but guys, or at least I can speak for myself, I have two distinct lives. One at home. and one outside. And outside is this one guy who's now on the internet and whatever. My father saw a little bit of it and so kind of made peace with it. But even until now I'm married, I'm expecting real...

Illusion toh tab tootega. Yeah, but then you're allowed. At your wedding, you're allowed to do everything. Parents just shut their eyes. Even maini sagai pe, I was like, pio sab. so that my family knows what to expect at Shadi. Yeah. And it had to happen slowly. My mother was a huge help because she insisted every day go fight with your father. When I would have conflict, she'd be like, go fight with him. What are you telling me?

And so I started fighting with my father and he started realizing Prakkar's growing into his own adult and so on and so forth. But it happens because you want to play safe. Yeah. And when I was moving to America... This uncle who used to work for my father sat me down. I was visiting my dad in my office. He said, now that you are doing what you're going to do, your father will learn from you. Remember that.

Now it's your job to take him into the future. And that really helped because another uncle was saying this to me. Break the mold your fathers produced and now take him beyond that. And I took that as like encouragement. Smartest uncle ever. Right? What a great advice. Yeah.

I love that it's just like the uncles talking amongst each other and it's just like I think guys don't realize that their fathers are so much like them with their friends. Yeah. I've seen my dad hang out with my friends. It's like me with my friends. So you can relate on that level. A father is so sick of playing the role of this...

perfect, non-edgy, I don't want to say bhenchod in front of my kid kind of character because he doesn't want to influence his boy or girl. Also, he calls you a bhenchod. No, it's someone else. My dad told me to say bhenchod to someone else.

I would be so upset if my dad said that to my brother. Well, you gotta visit Faridawar, dude. I would love to. Make a tour. One house tour to another. It's actually, it's so... It's kind of weird for other people when they come to Faridabad. For instance, Apoor, he showed up and I mean, I don't know. Is our manager. They have the same manager. And Klau is Prakar's fiancé for anybody. Congratulations. Congratulations.

So, he came for 15 years, we've hung out in Delhi for a lot, but he's never been to Faridabad until like a few months ago. And when he came, I was like, he shits on Faridabad all the time, I understand. I was taking him around and I started showing him the houses that people have. And it makes no sense. It's literally palaces.

Yeah. I know people who have two swimming pools in their house because one is not enough. But do they have a pickleball coat? Yeah. I actually have friends who have pickleball coats in their own house. Okay, I'm sold. Means what's that? Friend's height? I don't know.

I think 5 something. Never mind. Say no more. How tall are you? I'm 5'8. So I need 5'10 and above. Yeah. I have no problem. 5'10 plus insult. You do 5'4? Yeah. You have no problem with the shorter guy? No. Do you have a problem with the shorter guy? Not really. Have you ever dated a shorter guy? Yeah. Yeah. Five, six I've dated. My own height? Yeah. Your own height, but shorter than you.

I don't know, I should love too. I can't just find some shorty on the road. No, but have you ever gone out on a date with somebody who was shorter than you?

No one asked. Maybe he was intimidated. I was just... So basically I was watching some interview or something. And there was this girl. She was like... Like she's never been... asked out on a date okay like in 10-15 years or something and everyone wasn't believing her then I started thinking and no one has ever asked me out on a date I can count on my fingers it's a hack like guys should guys should

walk up to girls and ask them out on dates yeah I mean don't ask me now but like I'm just like now that I've given it away but I'm just like is that not a thing like do guys not ask women out on dates is that yeah it's actually true um and that's why indians have a huge culture shock when they go across the atlantic or even in europe because

Well, you can't just play friendly for three months on text and hope to land a date, which is what strategy A for most guys in India is. You have a cute smile. How was your day? Like, I mean... it was actually no one even asked me how my day was she's down bad I'm so down bad how's your dating profile stuff happening no I stopped using

any dating app like i stopped like six seven months ago i just was not interested because um just like it's kind of weird because i'm not famous but in bombay people would know what i do at nice peripherally and i by naked going into these days no they'd make a story out of matching with you yeah yeah but you know i wasn't dating guys that like

know how to talk that much like i wasn't like if i was in like a rebound phase or whatever but uh tell me more no i'm done i'm done with that phase and i just haven't dated in like six seven months but it's not like i haven't used a dating app and no one has asked me out also but then i was like it's fine i'm just now i'm a non-sexual non-dating non-romantic being like

That's so wholesome. No, I'm just saying, but not out of choice. I would just like to be so clear. But don't ask me out. It means the guy I like should ask me out, but I don't like any guy. So, don't be sure. You're ruining your chances. If there was some guy who was going to walk up after this, he's like, I don't know what signals these are. No, it's okay. I'm not, oh no. Oh no. One guy won't ask me. I'm fucked up. It's over for me.

Yeah, no, I don't think Indian guys are generally socialized to learn how to talk to girls IRL. And that causes them a lot of... Is there a sign that they would like from us? Even if I tell them the sign, even if I tell them the sign. They would still not respond. I think girls also don't understand just how scary it is for guys to just walk up and say hello. Girls just don't understand, guys. No, I'm not bad. It's scary.

You know, they did this math. They did the survey on what is the biggest fear a guy has. And the biggest fear a guy generally has is being rejected by a good looking girl. It's bigger than death. It's bigger than bears. It's bigger than speaking on stage. So it is the most scary because it's sexual rejection. It's rejection of your genes, something you can do nothing about. But rejection is not personal. Yeah, well, it really doesn't work like that. I mean, for guys, it's a very scary thought.

I had to learn how to do this so I know what a guy goes through in their head. I had a lot of friends. who we all decide to be like we have to learn this like come on yeah i'm not going to be like scared about it yeah um and so i know a lot of guys account on how scary it is to just go say hello i just find that like i'm just so

confused. Why? Because I was like, why? We're like fucking Katy Perry's going to space and we're still figuring out how to go on a date. It's not easy, dude. It's really not easy. Like guys, and also girls like to make a game out of it. Because they'll ask you questions. For instance, if somebody were to walk up to you and say hello, they would know in the first three seconds how interested you are and you'd generally not be interested.

If I'm not interested, I won't be interested. But in that three second one, he's counted to God. Like he's gone from one to God very quickly. And that when that expression hits from you, you've not said it, you're still being nice, but he knows you've rejected him. It hits some part.

in the back of your head. So give yourself a massage in a corner, leave. See, this is exactly what I mean. No, I don't get it. I know, guys, I'm scared. If ever someone asks me, I'm going to go, I'm telling you, I have... I've been like a pick me my whole life, dude. If somebody, even if I had to reject someone and they came up to me and they spooked me just by virtue of like how much I've pandered to men, there's no way I would, it would take me at least 15 minutes to pull out.

At least say, sir, I'm really sorry. My hand is promised in marriage. Otherwise, Tuesday, we would be at Hoots. No, it's still, I mean... Can my husband come? I still think it's a scary proposition but I think I should learn how to do it because dating apps are worse tell our audience how to do it I mean I think the lowest common way of doing it

So, there's indirect and direct. Indirect, you can start by asking for directions, for instance. Yeah. Like, you could do this in New York City. Excuse me, aapke dil ka address. None of those, by the way, if guys don't know this, none of those pickup lines should be tried. Try. No, please try on me. Try. some cheesy pick-up night that's like wow did you just fall are you hurt noted okay what are some green flags in women how can we be better

Damn, you guys are really trying to be better, huh? I like that about you. Why 3-4 years in therapy? Have you ever quit therapy? Have you ever been like, okay, it's okay. My therapist was doing too much. I was like, I can't. I was like, I'm giving you money to talk to yourself, okay? When the jokes dried up. It was no longer funny.

No, because it's a very important question to ask people who do therapy, have you ever quit it? In that, have you ever gotten to the end of it? And most people haven't. I mean, end means then six months later I came back. Sure, but at least there was a time in your life where you were like, maybe I don't need to talk to someone.

I never need to talk to someone. I just need friends. Therefore, I put a microphone in front of my face. I just wanted to talk to someone. Please, someone just hear me. Wait a second. You do podcasting because you like attention. I'm okay with attention. What do you like? What do you do podcasting for? I think it's the only thing I can see myself doing right now. I think I'm very picky. And I cannot see myself doing most things.

I get bored very quickly. This is something that's new every day. I like the fact that I get to build a business. Think about how I want to move these pieces. It's also very cutting edge. Like there's no playbook, which makes it very, very fun. But what would stop you from putting someone else in front of a mic and then you be the producer? You're still around the same content. No, because it's my strength. I think I'm very good at this.

It's a very pragmatic choice and also very accidental in that I fell into it. I didn't think I'd be here. It was just one accident after the other. And I was like, fuck, let's do this. But I don't really have a kick out of fame. A little bit, but not too much. You can't just fall into podcasting. It takes so much effort. No, it doesn't. The setting up of the organization takes a lot of effort. Yeah.

To keep it going. I mean, say, so many podcasts came up in the last year, right? Everyone was like, I like this thing. I think I'm good at it. Let me put myself here. But you know that... 5-10 episodes later, your finances are drying up, the organization is testing, the amount of content, the cuts of content that you have to put up, like that race is so hardcore. It's not the easy job. No, it's not. But the alternative is worse for me.

which is like i don't want to end up in a position where i'm completely like when i first started i started because i didn't want to do my family stuff. I didn't want to work around my father and risk more fighting. And then it stopped being the case. But then something else became the case. I did it because I love watching Joe Rogan myself. I was alone in New York for a long period of time and I would listen to him. So it was accidental in that way.

Only in 2023 towards the end, 24 towards the beginning, I was like, I'll do this by design. I know how to play this. I wrote enough documents. I understand how YouTube as a platform works. Instagram as a platform works. Now I want to see if I can. Spotify. A little bit. Can I say my hot take? Yeah.

This is my hot take. You know, when a group of friends are sitting together in a room and they're cracking jokes and they have that realization. I was like, no, don't start a podcast. Wrong motivation. Because you think you're fucking interesting. You're not. So much for self-esteem. No, I'm saying you're missing out on the fact that the podcasting is not about like the mic setup in front of you. It's about the audience on the other side. first, always, forever. And you have to like...

Are you saying no? I'm saying hi. And you have to cater first and only to them. It's not about how interesting you are to yourself or how many jokes you crack with your friends. And most of the things you say to your friends you'll probably never say on the internet if you meant something. One of the surest ways of telling who's relevant and who's not is how little can someone speak. Yeah. It's a very weird inverse rule.

about public popularity in India, but the lesser you're allowed to speak means that is how much more you're relevant. I speak a lot. Maybe you guys will break the mold. And I mean this, I'm not joking. No, so I'll tell you when we speak a lot, we speak in this room, we speak a lot. But that's because it's between you and I and we're trying to overcompensate for...

the silence, etc. No, no, I'll give you an example. Say something about politics. Say anything political. Yeah, I can't speak about it. Yeah, because... this game be there. It do be like that. It do be like that sometimes. It do be like that and nobody wants it. Like the right conversation in India is not cancel culture, it's self-censorship. That's the real investment.

That's true. But I do think the self-censorship is because of the cancel culture. See, it means it's getting serious. No, I'm still not used to wearing these. So I take them off. I can't see anymore. Sorry, you can take them. It's okay. Why do boys think women are nags? I love that whenever some male guest comes on the podcast, then I think, I need to know. I'm going to ask questions. I can't ask my therapist straight up.

I can't spend therapy money on this question. This is a free meeting. How much do you pay for therapy? I pay quite a bit. Really? Yeah. And is it worth it? Yeah. Have you done a ROI analysis that if I paid 5 lakh rupees, it would be worth it? I'm standing right now. therapy so would you say you were a 2 on 10 before and now you're a 5 on 10 or like what's the moment I agree but in a different context I can't commodify my

All the roadies live in Andiri, sweetie. And it's a tough one. She's like an eight. But like, if you go to Parail, I can't say. She who is sitting right here. With the chashma, we're saying you look like a 10 on straight tape. What's the question? 2 on 10, 5 on 10 therapy. I can't commodify like that. I can tell. Yeah, if I was zero before, I'm on 10 now. Damn, that's great. That's fucking cool. What's the multiple between zero and 10? Means? Like how many times have you improved?

I've improved 100, 200. I was a simulation before. I'm a human now. Damn. It's like best world. Yeah, fully. This AI has feelings. Did you go for therapy? I have in the past. Not for a few years. So are you healed? yeah oh yeah i mean i did about six months in 2018 and then one day i was like i'm okay And that was a very interesting light bulb moment because when I went in, I didn't think I'd be okay. And then the second time I did right before my only depressive episode hit.

or maybe they were the same I don't remember it's been 5-7 years but yeah that's the only time I've done it I think the only okay thing is that okay I feel like I'm qualified and capable to handle my problems now. It doesn't mean that you're infallible or it doesn't mean that you're suddenly strong 100% of the time. You have the tools to deal with what life throws at you. Why don't men go to therapy, man? I begged so many people. Because it's not their style.

So what is their style? Working out is better. Then they hit people on the road. Sure, anger is a different problem than sadness. Which one are we talking about here? No, I'm saying sad. Like men going to therapy is not just for being sad. It has to be with like you need tools to deal with the world.

Like working out short gives you gains. It doesn't make you... No, no. That's what I'm talking about. There's a huge difference. It can give you confidence. It can give you self-worth, right? Is that... No, no. So I... My hypothesis is that the way... women deal with mental complications is very different from how guys deal with mental complications. Sure. But I mean, I am...

There was a certain point where talking about it was important so I could hear myself. Yeah. But that's not generally what my mental affliction is today. Yeah. Right? And a session of... You know how guys say break open a cold one or whatever, that whole beer analogy. And video games is far more precious. Like, if my friend has a breakup, he does not need to talk to me about it. He'll come over, we'll sit down.

I'll be like, Katwalia, we'll both laugh about it. And in that moment, so much is processed. Right but women do the same thing except we also find that one hour between like whatever activity is to go and actually process the feeling rather than like I think like the Katwali and all is funny. But you can only do that like when you're...

Like processing it also rather than suppressing it. No, there's two parts to it. Yeah. So first, I am not convinced every feeling needs to be processed. And I'm not convinced either of you have processed all the feelings of all the major things that happen in your life. And number two.

You have to understand from a guy's position, most situations put him to a test of action, not to a test of processing. I don't even see the action. That's a separate problem altogether. But the answer is again, not necessarily therapy. That's exactly why. And this is a question asked, everybody who goes to therapy, when do you think will you be done with it?

Because I cannot make this a constant loop where I pay somebody to talk to me and barely be interested hour over hour every week with no end game in mind. And that's also why for guys decidedly after 10 years. And guys have tried. I've tried. I know all my friends. Most of them have gone to therapy. It's not worked.

Okay, so just to preface, I do think that you can go into it with an end goal. You can, I agree. And I'm saying whatever works for you. Whether sitting with your friends over beer works for you. going to the gym works for you but they and I'm not even saying this has to do with another person but you in your own life to survive need to have some kind of emotional grip over yourself toolkit your tool cannot be a brick

You're doing yourself a disservice. You cannot punch the wall and expect it to solve your problems. You cannot drink your problems away. You cannot drive your problems away. Sure, I agree. And so in some places... And I can think of many men in my life who should have talked about it. And I'm saying even more because like...

Patriarch is not going anywhere. You will inadvertently have so much weight of the world on you. You'll have your parents on you. You'll feel all these things in a much bigger way than we as women can feel. Even more reason why you need the most stable foundation to be able to deal with your life. It's never about like, oh, it's a breakup. It's okay. No, so I think one part of it I agree with. That there is going to be the weight of the world on you.

and you have to learn how to deal with it. And therefore you need a stable mind, which goes back to my point about working out and why that's helpful or meditation or why that's more helpful. I also think the way men like to, I think it's a more isolated act for men. I think lifting is not about the muscle I put on. It's about defeating that inner, I don't want to do it today.

All this inner sort of leakages that my monologue has. Lifting is always about the gains. I would like to. It can be. When does that feeling, whatever you achieve from working out. Is an example. Whatever. When does that transfer to the other relationships in your life? Like when I do therapy, it makes a direct reflection to my relationships. Like for example, if I'm in anxious attachment style, I will be less anxious, I'll be less burdened.

burdensome on my partner by saying, do you love me six times a day? How do you know that? Can you measure that you've become less anxious and less... She says it only three times a day. So you can measure it. Of course you can measure it. And how long did it... take for you to go from six to three, for instance, in this example? I mean, honestly, it's an ongoing thing. You get better at the reaction. But when does it get to zero?

I think it gets to zero in a couple of years. It depends again. It's not it's person to person specific. And you see how that promise is not enticing to a guy at all. Because for me, if you were to come and tell me, listen, your anxiety needs solution. And I were to be like, so how long do you think this will...

solve this in and you tell me it depends maybe five years I'm like I'd much rather be anxious or no I'd much rather get drunk and I'm not saying it's a healthier out solution to the problem but I think in this whole discourse about patriarchy or for that matter therapy, I think girls miss or women miss the fact that the urgency of action in a guy's life is so paramount that waiting is also acting.

by omission honestly that feels sorry that feels so contradictory to action and I think a lot of women can say it feels so contradictory because you're constantly waiting on your partner to do certain things and if they were so much about the action then

the action would be done and I believe you like I don't know what place you are speaking about this from because it seems like you have a certain context and a certain imagination and I cannot share that but I'm not saying guys take the healthy route I'm saying that predisposition is towards

methods that they know kind of work for them i will say if the gym is a guy's escape then they need to do a clapping push-up with me on their back like that is pretty much i'm so sorry you know what you either a reaction like that or you Fucking lift me like that. I think my hot take is guys or like whatever, the way they fix themselves is the MCL type solution to a leakage. Okay. Means when are the facts? Like why?

You can still see the water kind of draining through the wall. The seepage is still there. Sure, maybe sometimes. Maybe a lot of times. But my hot take is that I am okay to hear you tell me about therapy if it actually worked for you. It did.

But well, show me show me yeah because it would have ended if it did right so and I'm saying that this discourse gets very complicated because you can blame either side right like guys will sit together yeah yeah no no I'm just saying because it's a very sensitive

in the guy-girl dynamic. I'm not... Yeah, yeah. No, I'm saying like in the sense that we're not even like... So... you know how like relationships straight relationships roll the arm I felt like she was trying to do that too no I was to like make it easier but I'm saying like in the sense that there is always like there's these gendered thing

that come up pretty often for most people and we're not saying like you are the spokesperson for all men like you're in a happy healthy relationship and we're very happy for you we're just asking like because you probably have more inside unfiltered interactions with men right so we're like what's going on with those guys

Meaning, have you spoken to my ex and asked him what his problem is? I did, actually. He texted me on the way. He was like, why are you doing this? My observation, and it's not a you versus us or men versus women thing. It's that it's really sad because in... a new world where there is so much vocabulary available that our parents didn't have and our grandparents didn't have where there's so much space to cause correct we're actually becoming even more isolated as genders

Let me do you one better and make it something that I think will hit men. I think you guys are missing out on all the beauty of life because you're so grey inside from not processing your shit. I think that's really the whole thing is that you don't see joy the way you used to when you were kids because it's fucking jaded you. Life's made it you scarred so much and I completely understand it was not easy.

I get it. But it scarred you so much, you've forgotten what it feels like to feel joy. And you can't let that be. And we get into phases like that. I've been in year-long phases like that. But getting out of it, man, that's what it's about. Like, it just, I'm glad I had the courage to walk on. and so yeah do you do you have to say crazy that was amazing to watch so coordinated you guys are such a charm same manager

Very reflective of our predisposition here. I was going to say Naina and I often speak and I think that... relationships only work if the guy is more in love with the girl than the girl is with the guy. Do you know guys think the complete opposite in this? I know. Like the manosphere advice is a relationship will only work if she loves you more than you love her. I guess a relationship with us will only work. No, it's one second. No, for most women. Most women think that because, you know...

It just makes sense because women will do a lot of stuff out of duty and love but guys don't have a sense of duty. You're dating shitty men.

No, I'm not. I'm actually dating damn nice men. But they don't have a sense of duty? No, I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about generally. I'm very happy being single as fuck. If anything, guys are propelled out of... duty so much more that they can't even tell what they... I think the problem is they don't know what they like because they've been doing duty for so long.

That's insecurity. That's fear. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But I think most guys do have that insecurity. Because no one has cut. But one guy is going to kill us. You are also saying, what guys, this and that. It's the same reaction. I don't know. My friends. do you have any questions but you actually genuinely mother swear believe it wasn't your friend's fault Yeah, I'd fucking kill for them. But that's not the point. It doesn't matter. But guys don't tell each other. After.

We had to take a little break. I wanted to come back with a strong question. Why is body count such an issue? You were asking about green flags and red flags. And I'm going to give the most autistic explanation for this, which is that if you were to treat dating as a marketplace with supply and demand graphs, and you were to evaluate...

whether the prospect I'm interested in is high value or low value. And if the only available signal is from the past, because I'm only meeting you now, I've heard 10 words from you and that's about it. It would sound or seem like having a high body count for a woman means she's very promiscuous, which does not... Wouldn't it mean more... Like she's better at talking to people? But you see, this is... Did you come across this debate recently? I don't know if you guys use X, but...

There was this guy who's standing and then there's a picture of him with lesser body fat. He's more ribbed. And there was a pole around it. Which one's more attractive? Right? And the way this guy structured his pole was...

before is more attractive male, after is more attractive male, before is more attractive female and after is more attractive female, which means he was trying to ascertain what males prefer and what females prefer of these two pictures. And women would prefer the guy to be less ribbed. by a lot like 90-10% distribution and this got a whole debate going about

Which one is more attractive? Are women lying? Are women saying, guys, be fat. It's okay when they prefer guys who are much more ribbed. And it's actually what's happening is this is a guy's idea of what a good looking guy looks like when he's super ribbed like a sausage, you know, every...

ab is showing and so on. A woman's idea of what a good looking guy has much more to do with behavior than looks. If he's relaxed in the way he's standing, if he's smiling a little bit, if he's not very tense and flexy, right? Like that's... probably much more attractive to a woman than necessarily a very jacked sausage looking guy. There is a reverse phenomena for this where women think heavy makeup is attractive and guys will be like, Oh, I just like your smile when you're not wearing a makeup.

And I think what's happening there is guys are not lying. They genuinely don't care for how much makeup is on your face. But women care for how much makeup is on... her competitors face. And so women play their own game. It's a woman's idea of what a better looking woman is. Very often when women get cosmetic treatments, guys will be like, that's not attractive to me.

The fake breasts generally not attractive to guys, right? But it's a woman's idea of what a good looking woman is. And it is the same case where it's a woman's idea of what a better man is if he is more experienced. No, I want a virgin. You want a virgin? I'm joking. No, I'm saying like, I think the, I don't think I care about body count, whether it's in men or women. I think only insecure men actually care about body count.

Yeah, I think you could give men their due. It's not really all that much of insecurity. If you were talking about a driver situation, if the guy is a pickpocket in the past, you're a little worried if he's going to be a pickpocket in the future. that's really it okay so it's

is that if the past indicates that you've been promiscuous. If you and I were on a date and you told me you cheated on your ex with some other guy. So I have to, I'm not going to ask you, but did you cheat on any of the 20 guys you hooked up with? I'm just going to be like... 20 and she's 24 so six years and 20 and I'll do the math whatever is okay by me I'll be like oh this is too much but does body count you I feel like if body count comes up on the first date then that's because of

insecurity. It's possible. Yeah. It's possible. I mean, I don't care about body count on the first date. You're just getting to know this person. Like cheating should come much before. Like, you know, it's not like I know this person has hooked up with 20 people. Maybe they have cheated on their partners. I'm thinking like, oh, they have cheated on their partners. I don't care if they've dated 100 people for one day or like cheated on one partner. I have a question. If...

How many girls do you know have forgiven their boyfriends or husbands for sexually cheating on them? None of them. A bunch. Right? And would it be worse if you found your boyfriend... buying flowers and emotionally being available for someone else as opposed to physically hooking up. It's all the same. It's all the same. It's the same. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. Means if he smiles at another girl, I'm like...

Yeah, because I think guys care about sexual promiscuity a lot more and women care about emotional promiscuity a lot more than guys care about emotional promiscuity. So you're telling me... If your friends were seeing people or like you were seeing someone and they got flowers from someone or they gave someone flowers, you'd be like, it's fine, whatever. If my wife was to give...

her old friend from school flowers because they met in... I won't think twice about it. Whatever, it's flowers. Fuck, right? But if I saw them even remotely with their hands too near, that... would begin the loop of insecurity. I think for girls, if you saw me give flowers... to someone else, if Klaus saw it, she'd be like, what the fuck is happening right here? I mean, depends on the context also. Yeah, I think emotional cheating is a bigger deal for women than it is for men.

That's what I'm trying to say. And sexual cheating is a way bigger deal for men than it is for women. Men rarely ever forgive if a woman... has been sexually, you know, she's cheated. But women, overwhelmingly, like, it's a joke. She'll fight, she'll throw a tantrum, and then eventually she'll be like, you know what, I'll take him back. And it's just the dumbest thing you can do. But that happens.

To all the women watching this is literally how men talk about y'all when y'all take someone back after cheating. It's not worth it. It's my worst fail, you know? I get it. Yeah, it's not worth it. If I'm ever giving advice to my family, I'm like, why are you letting this happen? Unless you have under exceptional guarantee that this was a one-off thing and he made a mistake.

Maybe I can begin having this conversation because a lot of people are also married at that point. But it doesn't matter. Yeah, but divorce is also not very simple. Means fucking someone else is also not very... No, but there is... But you can be pragmatic and there's lesser of two evils sometimes. So I'm giving them the due here when I'm talking about it at a large level. I'm saying like, sure, what happens and...

What should, like, I'm saying like if someone watching this is like watching this and be like, yeah, okay, I understand that I'm not able to leave. I'm saying like you're always able to leave in most situations. No, no, you have to be very realistic about it, Sakshi. How? I don't think so. Have you sat through a divorce? Have you heard someone go through a divorce?

damn like for women particularly their fathers will refuse to accept them because they're like I didn't plan for this amount of money I'm not saying like obviously it's a huge thing in the country but like I'm not discounting that it's very hard for people to leave but then I'm saying like to

kind of sit here and be like in this very privileged room to sit and be like it's very hard when for us it's not hard and maybe sometimes our experiences give courage to women in similar situations where they know that at the end of the day if they if they see someone like me, I'm not going to be like, yeah, babe, stick it out. No, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you have to learn to be, because I have seen divorces where,

she cannot take her child back because she has no money. You know what I'm talking about. It gets very complicated. I'm not saying I don't understand that. I'm just saying like that's not because like, oh, women don't care about promiscuity. No, they do.

yeah i'm saying that's because they don't have a choice yeah which is worse okay that's what i'm saying yeah i think i have an observation and i want your like uh i want your help with this so i find that a lot like whenever i've been with somebody they have been able to suss out who are the weird men around me who are trying to hit on you and you don't see it and i don't see yeah and over time i found like

Actually, men are a little bit manipulative when they're trying to like come on to you with their agendas and stuff. What are those qualities? They'll be over-friendly. Like what do you see when you see a guy with bad intentions around your partner and what does your partner not see? I think there's data on this. What do you see?

I'll tell you. So they did math on this to find out how many guys consider their relationships with their female friends platonic and how many females consider their relationship. And it's like 80% females think... platonic and guys are like at 40 or something. So it's twice. And one of the strategies for men in trying to date is to pretend to be friendly until that moment arrives. And this is known in some kind of puffer fishes.

puffer fishes are big fishes if I remember this correctly and the females are smaller so some male fishes that are smaller will pretend to be female join the crew eventually show their true colors impregnate and get the fuck out and so this is the human version of that where I'm your friend how are you doing like are you okay did you eat this kind of nonsense and this is only to wait for that moment where you're vulnerable enough to probably you know

So it's a strategy. It's a weak strategy. No guy should ever do it. And what women are not seeing is they're taking the men for their word. How dare we as women take a man for his word? Are you supposed to be a detective? No, I think you should take most... Like if you and I met under a context where we are single and if I were... Okay, not you and I. Maybe say you.

both people met under a context where you're single and if I was your friend, I tell you treat everything as leading up to that point in his head unless you know for sure otherwise. but if men can tell other men's intentions so well then how come like when their friends are being creepy it's like

I never saw anything. What? He's a molester? What? I got an answer for that. But yeah, men can smell that around their partners and other girls also. Like you always know he's hitting on you. You just don't see it yet. And sometimes girls have this too. Like, I'll be like, this girl was hitting on you. You didn't see it. I'll be like, yeah, I didn't, I didn't realize. Really? But it's just a fucking smile.

I'm not reading into that smile. I'm not reading into the fact that she's saying, oh, but haha, whatever. She can spot it. So it's both ways. So the thing is that... No one can stop anybody from hitting on anyone. It's not illegal. But a lot of, you know, sometimes the tendency is, I face it a lot.

Like in the past in many relationships where the guy is like somehow holding me responsible for what somebody else's actions are. And I'm like, what can I do in this situation? Yeah. It's not my fault. My ass is so fat. Yeah, it's not my fault. My ass is so fat. yeah I think that's stupid because you're not solving a problem you're creating one more yeah and if you think you can be the like the chowkidar of your relationship and when you're sleeping

There's like opportunity for failure. And I think guys are not realizing they're also slightly beginning to push away their partner at that point. By trying to hold her in, you're just making it less attractive. Yeah. The glue becomes weaker. No, but if you're in that...

place of insecurity then one would argue maybe you should move to greener pastures like go to a like leave this relationship you shouldn't your relationship should bring you peace if it's not bringing you peace yeah or maybe just have a real-esque conversation with yourself and with her yeah like really talk out your insecurity go through it um get reassurance if there is some and if you cannot guys also treat it such that insecurity is a base state of existence

You're always in your head imagining something you don't want to imagine. That's on you. I'm not even placing moral blame. Look at who's enjoying life more. She doesn't know. She's doing her theme. She's probably out there making cupcakes, bro. But in your head, you're like, so it's fucking on you, bro. Why is that just pure fact? It is. So you're making your life worse. And you know, girls have a version of that too. I'm sure. Yeah, of course. Both sexes are fucked. And that is the...

I think that's the realest thing that's been said. Wow, we're so deep. Guys, I think we're good at this. Yeah, crazy.

Great time to be alive and what a great discussion. Thank you. That we have to unfortunately end because we all have a meeting to get to. All of us together. We have a thing. Yeah, we have a thing guys. Guys, by the way, if you like this shirt, check out my... orni on instagram if you like this t-shirt and this top check out studio picante on instagram damn damn you're promoters of clothes and my socks are from kaba

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