Hey, it's Rachel Cook, your Modern Metaphor. I'm the founder of Lead Above Noise, where we help leaders activate performance without sacrificing humanity. This month we're diving deep into burnout, what's really causing it, how we're failing to fix it, and what we can finally start to do differently to change the tide. This is part two of a four part series, and today we're talking about the impossible job that we have handed managers and why it's time to rewrite the role.
Before we dig in, if you've already seen burnout happening on your team or you're feeling it in your own bones, head over to lead above noise.com/burnout. You'll find tools, workshops, and ways to bring this conversation into your organization in a way that actually sticks. So I'm getting ready to ship my first kiddo off to college in a few months, which has me tripping down memory lane.
You know, looking at old pics, it's funny, but in so many of the shots, when my girls were tiny, you know what wasn't tiny? The bag I used to carry with me, you know, the one full of diapers and snacks and toys and sweaters because it was my job to protect them from all the forms of discomfort, the hunger, the cold, the boredom. Today though, I don't even carry a bag Most days. I've got Apple Pay and a Chapstick in my pocket and I'm good to go and I feel lighter. I move easier through the world.
It's not my job anymore to carry all their stuff. They're big kids. They can manage their needs and I trust that they'll ask for my help when they need it. Which brings us to you, managers, people, leaders, because I'm talking to leaders every day who are carrying loads, both too heavy and frankly not theirs to carry. Every day I hear leaders say things like, yeah, I haven't told my team about this yet. It's just gonna cause anxiety, or, I know I need to give that feedback.
We're just such a nice culture and I'm afraid it won't land well. Or I know my team wants to know, I just haven't worked through all the details yet. And managers, when you think holding all of this is your job, like on top of your actual job, it's just too much. No Wonder Manager burnout is at an all time high. These days. You are expected to be strategy and empathy and productivity, clarity, inspiration, communication, accountability.
You get it all while meeting deadlines and chasing KPIs and never dropping a ball, and we've gotta do a reset because this approach is not serving anybody. So today, let's talk about four beliefs that I see managers carrying that are making the job not just hard but unsustainable and actually inhibiting results and productivity beliefs that feel like part of the job but aren't. Let's start with belief number one that I am seeing managers hold, which is it is my job to keep my team happy.
Listen, happiness is a nice aspiration. It just isn't your responsibility. No one's happiness but your own is. But when you hold yourself accountable to this, you start softening the truth. You avoid hard conversations and you water down updates and try to shield people from disappointment. You become the emotional buffer between your team and reality. It feels generous, protective, and kind. But over time, this gentle editing creates confusion and whiplash.
It causes delays in information or action. It actually strips your team of opportunities to prepare for or to correct things, and it puts you in the exhausting position of constantly managing everyone's emotions on top of your actual work. Your team doesn't need you to shield them from discomfort. They need you to lead them through it with honesty and respect.
So if you've been hesitating to deliver an update because you're worried it'll disappoint people, or you've been over apologizing for a decision that is outside of your control, ask yourself, am I protecting them or am I just carrying something that was never mine? To carry lead with care, but also with clarity? Let adults have adult reactions. It's not cold. It's a way to build trust. Belief number two is it's my job to build the plan. This one sneaks up quietly.
A project or a change kicks off and something needs to be implemented. And so you start piecing together a strategy. You wanna be prepared and show leadership. You wanna think through all the details, dot your i's and cross your T's before starting to communicate with your team. So you stay up late, you build the plan, you communicate it, and then they have questions, feedback, concerns, and suddenly the plan needs to be revised.
Or you realize you missed details or opportunities to make it stronger. You meant well, you wanted to figure out for them, but really you should figure it out with them. They have ideas that you don't. They have a vantage point that you don't. They can spot risks. They know what frustrates customers. They know which tools don't work together. All of their inputs are critical.
Baking them in not only makes your plan stronger, more comprehensive, but it leaves them feeling invested in the plan that they helped you to craft. It's heavy and hard to build a plan alone. It drains your energy and leaves too much of theirs on the table. Your job isn't to show up with all the answers, but to co-create a path with your team to define the why and shape the how together.
So if you're sitting in a plan or a decision that you built alone, ask yourself who should have been in the room sooner? And what is one upcoming project where I can invite co-creation and not just consultation? Belief number three is it's my job to have the answers. I still talk to too many leaders who really believe their authority comes from their team's, confidence in them having the answers. I can't get up there and shrug my shoulders.
Someone recently said to me, and I get it, confidence feels like leadership, but confidence doesn't have to always equate to knowing. And when you pretend to know you cut off inquiry, you kill momentum and burn yourself out trying to maintain a front. You don't need to know everything. You need to lead the process of finding out. So try. Here's what we know right now. Here's what we're still figuring out. Here's how we'll make a decision when the time comes.
This brand of transparency builds trust. It invites your team into the problem solving process, and it takes some of the pressure off your shoulders. So next time you feel anxious when asked something you can't answer, pause and try. Let's figure this out together. 'cause that's leadership too. And belief number four, it is my job to deliver certainty. This one is so human. People crave certainty, stability, but craving it doesn't entitle us to it because these days certainty is in short supply.
It is just our reality feeling. The need to apologize for that or even correct it is exhausting you. Your job isn't to predict the future. It's to help your team make sense of the signals around them and to build resilience so they're ready for whatever comes. That means saying, here's what's true now, and here's what's still evolving, and here's how we'll decide as things start to shift. This transparency gives your teams what they really need. It's not guarantees, but guidance.
Not perfect answers, but clarity around what's known, what's not, and what is coming next. These beliefs are heavy and most of us didn't choose them. We kind of inherited them from managers who modeled them for us, from systems that reward emotional buffering over clarity. But when we name them, we can start to set them down. You do not have to carry what was never yours.
And if you're ready to take this further, if you want support helping your team navigate burnout without sacrificing clarity or accountability, reach out to me. Shoot me an email at Rachel at Lead Above Noise or visit lead above noise.com/burnout. For more tools, insights, and information. Join me next week for episode three in this series where we will explore what it actually looks like to lead in a way that supports sustainability without sacrificing results.
Because fixing burnout isn't about doing less. It's about leading differently. Until then, thanks so much for listening and have a successful week. Modern Mentor is a quick and Dirty Tips podcast. It's audio engineered by Dan Fand. Our director of podcasts is Brandon Getches. Our podcast and advertising operations specialist is Morgan Christensen. Our digital operations specialist is Holly Hutchings. Our marketing and publicity associate is Davina Tomlin.
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