Welcome to the mobile armored podcast show. The podcast that transforms into a didgeridoo. My name is Adam Moore alongside my co host and best friend, PJ McNerney. PJ, how's it going today?
I'm doing really well, Adam. It's pretty fascinating to me. Like we just had an incredible episode last episode with Assault on Liberty, really well put together, you know, just really like solid made sense across the board. And I think the only other episode that really matched that quality was Rotex.
Yes.
And in that follow up to Rotek's return to Oz, we basically end up with an indigenous people. And I don't know if there's a quota, because we're repeating that same pattern here. Amazing episode. And it's almost like there's something where they have to swing the pendulum back to be like, Nope, we need to make sure we're getting our quota of racism in there.
Absolutely. And I wanna reference the didgeridoo comment earlier for our listeners, you haven't noticed anything. You've received your weekly dose of madness and mayhem here on the pod, but we've actually been on hiatus for three weeks while I went off to do some on the ground investigating in Australia. And I have a couple comments to share if I may take a point of privilege here. First is I did in fact go into a mine to see what the mines looked like that Miles sent the Aboriginal people into.
I'll post some pictures on there. for what it's worth, they looked relatively safe. It was certainly slavery that he forced these people into, but the mines.
The mines were OSHA compliant is what
They were well lit and very secure. So there's that,
On the guards of those mines, did they look like people who should have been in Mad Max or the Road Warrior? Because that was a key part of the guards in that episode.
No, and this will sound even more absurd they were dressed in late 18th, early 19th century peasant garb. Because it was at a place called Sovereign Hill, which you can all Google if you want to. I think we have a handful of listeners who are in Australia and may know what I'm talking about. So those are the minds I went into. Secondly, I did have the opportunity to see an aboriginal man.
he was performing as a busker on what's called Circular Quay, which is kind of like right on the harbor there in Sydney. And I wanted to take a picture, but it just wasn't the right moment. I can't really get into it, but it just wasn't appropriate for me to step forward and take a quick selfie with the guy. and What I will say, though, is, he was not fully dressed, which was maybe part of the reason why I didn't jump in to take the selfie.
He was not fully dressed, um, he had very traditional, what I would imagine is pre European contact aboriginal garb on. and So maybe I have to take back some of the things I mentioned during the OzEffect episode. So my apologies to, to, you, wait, to you PJ, to our audience, and to the aboriginal peoples of Australia.
You've got a sample size of one. So let's be frank, that's pretty small. And he was operating as a busker. So there's a theatricality about the whole thing.
okay.
But good on you for not earning a Buddy Hawks award for snapping a shot of yourself with him.
And like flash him the peace sign or something. But anyways, I just want to let you all know that this is the type of in depth research that PJ and I do for this show, and you should expect nothing less than this amount of journalistic integrity from this very serious podcast of
very serious. I'm glad. I'm glad we're fact checking here.
hmm, absolutely. Well, we are looking at episode 15, of Mask, the Scepter of Rajim, or Raheem. I'm not quite sure exactly the correct pronunciation of it, because once again, to contradict what I just said, we do no research. But in episode 15, Venom steals a magical scepter. From an Indian city whose inhabitants hold the mask team hostage until it's returned. Tracker must work alone to get it back.
And I'd like to say that if that was what the episode really was, it had the potential to be awesome. Imagine in the first three minutes, the whole mask team gets taken hostage, and then Matt, who's used to working with his crack team of agents, has to literally work alone to save them all before they're killed. But no, because that all happens in like the final three minutes of the episode, so it's a real bait and switch,
it really is it would be great to have that episode that you're talking about. And then Matt would crack something like, wow, now I know. Like how awesome hondo is because I have to do all this stuff by myself Huh, and I'm used to handing it off to everybody else Huh?
I'm used to handing it off, but taking all the credit we'll dive in here. So we open at night And we're going over the tops of a city in India. It's unclear exactly which one it is But then we cut into a hotel room where Matt is working on his laptop And Scott is sitting in like 19th century pajamas with the, cap and everything on a rattan chair. And T Bob, who's also in the same pair of pajamas, is crawling around on the ground and like screaming and growling.
And my first question was, what bad acid trip have we entered here?
When I looked at this scene I was like David Lynch either influenced this or was influenced by this scene Because I don't know why Scott made t bob dress up I don't know why, he's having T Bob scream around. This is clearly not T Bob's idea.
I don't know what it was, man. It was just, Weird. and in fact, Scott yawns, and bemoans, telling T Bob that he doesn't sound like a real tiger. And it turns out that they're all in India, dedicating a tiger preserve. I would assume, paid by Matt's most generous contributions. And Scott complains to Matt that they've been here a week and haven't even seen a tiger yet. Matt apologizes, but he doesn't even look at Scott. He just keeps working on his computer.
and he says that the Sabia tiger is rare, unlike that snake mayhem. That's a non sequitur if I've ever heard one.
He's got mayhem on the mind all the time. But why did, Scott think that dressing up T Bob in pajamas and having him crawl around would make him into a tiger? This kid's crying out for help to a man that continuously ignores him. And just to put a little, a tiny nuance on it, the line from Scott was, We haven't seen a tiger up close yet. I'm just like, how fucking close, Scott, do you want to see a tiger?
Sounds like it would be a more you know moment at the end of an episode.
It really does,
You might get mauled by a tiger, Scott, just like T Bob did.
And the one other thing is like, if they're dedicating a tiger preserve, wouldn't you expect to see some tigers, even from afar, just to make sure you didn't cordon off an area and now people are going to use it for a drug operation.
We, in fact, never see the tiger preserve.
No, we don't.
as a heads up. Matt, still ignoring his son, says to no one in particular, According to my computer, mayhem is in the area. And the computer prints out something about the size of a receipt. I have many questions here. First of all, What exactly does the computer look for when it looks for, quote, mayhem in the area? And also, what is the computer printing out that it can't display on its screen?
Yeah, I, so I was thinking about this. A couple things. I do think that this kind of supports our theory or ongoing theory that mask actually is following up on leads like may or may not be mayhem. And again, we just see the episodes where it is. but I had this two fold thought, which is that without the internet being up and running, Mask actually needs to go to the countries to hack their cameras to do face scanning outside the law.
And the reason why Matt wants a printout as opposed to be on screen is so he can burn that piece of paper to leave no evidence behind.
But after receiving the printout and announcing that mayhem is in the area, Matt just shrugs it off. He takes off his mask watch and tells the boys it's time to go to bed. In fact, he says it's time to hit the goose feathers. And I thought Matt taking off his watch felt like how a cop takes off his badge in the interrogation room right before he's about to do something really bad. Because he like turns to Scott and T Bob for the first time.
I was like,
Takes off his watch, cracks his knuckles.
this is pretty complaining about tigers.
I'll give you a tiger.
In this scene, Scott has got like T Bob's top open like his head. I was like, what is he doing? is Scott actually capable of making modifications to T Bob? Cause it feels like the equivalent of brain surgery at that case.
that's why he's so screwed up, because a 12 year old boy is constantly tinkering with his equipment.
And then T Bob's response is Goose feathers, snakes, tigers, this isn't a hotel, it's a zoo. And then the strangest thing happens is that Matt and T Bob start laughing, but not Scott. It's the weirdest thing because Scott is just frozen still
Is Scott coming to grips with the fact that he may in fact be living in a zoo and that he is on exhibit at said zoo? Dad's always putting me in places. Am I part of some sort of touring zoo exhibit?
Witness the boy it is robot
Or he relates to zoo animals. I totally understand how they feel. I too am trapped in a cage. called my life.
and my same outfit all the time.
But, pointing out, Scott is wearing a new outfit in this scene for one of the first times we've ever seen. maybe Only the second time we've ever seen him. No wait, we've seen him in A Native American outfit, a dainty little sailor's outfit and now this. The Scrooge pajamas from A Christmas Carol. well Anyways they're all asleep, but then Matt, Scott witnesses his mask watch glowing, and in fact T Bob starts glowing too.
Matt and Scott go out on the balcony and they see a strange glowing orb on the horizon.
Yeah. Couple things. T bobb sleeping in the same bed as Scott, which is weird. wouldn't he just be like, plugged in on the side. He's snoring with his tiger noises weird. I felt like we were back in David Lynch territory at this point in time. Like I didn't think there was anything like. untoured going on, but it was just I expected some circus music to be going on in the background.
And when Matt starts to like detect it, his eyes are closed, but he says, Scott lights out Scott, I said, and then he wakes up to the glowing orb. So he immediately blames poor Scott for this. And then once he actually sees his watch, he is freaked the fuck out.
Yeah, no, he's really scared.
thought this was like the same face had when Gloria said to him, I've missed my period.
Yeah certainly I'm looking at the picture that you put in the rundown right now and I will share it with everyone on Instagram. He's scared.
And then the exchange of the balcony is awesome. Cause it's like, what is it, dad? Something very strange. Scott makes me wonder if venom had something to do with it. We're going to find out in a second, this is a common occurrence every five years. But does Matt always think that something out of the ordinary is caused by Venom? That's a really paranoid position to be in.
Anyways we cut to our good friend Slyrax. And he says, beautiful, right on time, just like you said, chief. And Miles laughs he loves his job, and he explains that it's something called the Regime Borealis. What's the Regime Borealis,
Okay, we gotta go to both a combination of science corner and Latin corner. So what is the Aurora Borealis or the Aurora Australis? The Aurora Borealis means the Northern Lights. The aurora australis is the southern lights comes from the Latin aurora for dawn borealis for northern australis for southern and the aurora in this question refers to this phenomenon where solar wind interacts with magnetosphere to produce this lighting effect. so can the aurora as such be seen from India?
Well, In fact, the aurora borealis specifically was seen for the first time in India. In 2023, so no, it does not appear here every five years now to hop over for a second to regime Borealis if you sort of combined kind of Indian and Latin here, you would mean northern regime regime is a town in India. But, we are so fucking far out of anything justifiable right now, the writers did not do any research again.
But let's just take it for a fact that the regime Borealis was real in the context of Mask. Why is it such a big deal? let's be really crass here. Like having a phenomenon like this that occurs every five years is not a surprise. It's an amazing tourism opportunity, and I would imagine Matt would have to know about it because he would probably be reading about it in the same travel magazine he did for Solaria Park.
uh, Another. Lazy move by the writers of Mask to just shrug, I don't know, Regime Borealis. So we're in this, it's Miles and Slyrax and Cliff and they're hanging out in this room watching the Borealis. And then Vanessa strolls in late and she claims that or Miles claims that she was out shopping. And Vanessa doesn't dispute the claim. And I just love that beat about Vanessa.
100%. It was great. I think it does continue to prove out like this notion that she's a very bored dilettante, but also what the fuck does miles want her to do? like right now, like we've seen her take pictures of the rain forest and the creeping terror and help miles in the control room on the world trade center. I feel like she liked Gloria is like really underutilized in terms of her capabilities.
Moving on, it's the next morning. Scott has T Bob's head completely disassembled, and he's doing work on him, and T Bob is moaning gibberish. And it turns out his power is drained out. The light show they saw last night we learn, happens to be the same day every five years. And Matt surmises that there's radiation out there, which, something Matt has a lot of experience with. There's a lot of radioactive stuff out here.
Matt tells Scott to stay behind with T Bob while he goes off to get a guide and go investigate.
Yeah uh, few things. Scott has sufficient knowledge to fix T Bob. I think we're reinforcing this fact. So the kid's a lot brighter than we've given him credit for.
Well, he's capable of opening up T Bob, and pulling out a bunch of wires, and pressing buttons. Is he capable of fixing him? Have we seen that T Bob is in good shape, ever? I'm gonna put a question mark there, buddy.
T Bob is at least in the same shape he was At the end of the episode as he was at the beginning. So maybe Scott follows the Hippocratic oath of to do no harm or to do no more harm than he's already done.
Okay.
And the glowing is actually happening somewhere near the tiger preserve. So Scott actually gets excited because he gets to see tigers and basically Matt says him no Scott I'm gonna dash your dreams again. You stay here and fix t bob and I just felt so sorry for Scott Is he gonna be confined forever to being left alone in hotels?
Because we saw it with Solaria Park where he was in a foreign country and left alone in a hotel He's frequently left in foreign countries with just no friends Just some randos and also, did they just put a tiger reserve near a radioactive source? Did they not check the area they were putting this thing in? It feels a little slipshod to me.
Sounds like the plot for another episode where, radioactive tigers mutate into some sort of monster that Miles uses to Knock down trees in search of a hidden vault
I would like it if somehow like Miles wants to use the massive amount of manure coming out of those tigers to seed, land, create giant beanstalks. Because he has to reach a city in the clouds.
I love it. We cut to Matt who is wearing a very upscale indiana jones style costume and he's got a couple of local guides, taking him through the jungle Fortunately, they're Not half naked but close to, and they're walking through the jungle, Matt asks, Are you sure this is the right way? And I think this is first of all an example of Matt's racism. He's a white man with no idea about anything in India. And he's questioning the local guide.
But also, adding to that, there's a second guide who's walking behind Matt, who is carrying Matt's laptop like, on his head. Matt's just walking along in his dandy little outfit. He's got one guy in front of him, and another dude behind him carrying his laptop on his head. Dude! Matt! What are you doing?
It's so true on every level. he Doesn't know anything about the area. Because he clearly didn't read up on the tourist event that happens every five years in the place where he's putting a tiger reserve. Yet he still thinks he knows better. Also, he packed that outfit for this trip. And he clearly wants to show off because that v neck, if you see the shot it goes down.
He's got the top three buttons Undone
Check me out, everybody. And uh, I kind of wondered if Matt demanded that the local carry his laptop on his head because he wants the quote unquote authentic experience.
No matter what this is definitely a nominee for the Buddy Hawks award a Very strong
Very strong.
and we're only a few minutes into the episode so the guides say We follow the path of the Lost Ones Those who enter that part of the jungle never return. Very strong accent, slightly broken English. Once again, nice work, Masked Writers, on that one. We learn that the legend tells of an ancient lost city and the Scepter of Rajim. And suddenly, the guides disappear and Venom shows up. Switchblade flies overhead and fires on Matt.
Yeah. I like it how when Matt's back is turned, the guys are basically like, Fuck this dude. He's been nothing but a racist son of a bitch. Let's ditch him and his stuff, cause it's just left there. But Matt's reaction was like, Lost cities, lost guides, what's next? And so, he's continuing to believe that the guides are lost. He is not letting up on this one point.
What kind of research do you think Matt's doing out there in this tiger preserve?
So he's funded a tiger reserve near a part of the jungle where people never return. So what exactly is Matt up to here? Like, Is he like taking advantage of that for running human experimentation? Oh, I know that this is, someplace where people disappear on a regular basis. What a great cover story.
look, Matt's into unusual situations, as we know. Switchblade, says to no one in particular, Somewhere in this jungle is a lost city, and in it, the Scepter of Regime. And with it All the riches in the world will be mine. Can you explain, Miles? Suddenly, Switchblade's weapons stop working, and Piranha seems to be in the same situation.
I loved it that Miles wants to kill a person who saw the light show the night before and just came out. And I really kept questioning, why are there not huge crowds of people doing the same? Like this is, again, it's a tourist
Yeah, and in that case, the mass murder that Miles would have to commit to take out everyone who had seen the light show the previous night.
He's just not thinking ahead.
Not one of Miles strong suits. Matt uh, puts the laptop on the ground, opens it up and says, Emergency, condition read. And it is, the agent selection scene. First up, Bruce Sato. Bruce is pitching to a very advanced robot batter and catcher. He throws a pitch, the robot hits it, The mask watch goes off, and Bruce runs away dropping the glove. And the ball lands in the glove. Kinda cute little moment there.
My question is, couldn't Bruce put those robot skills to use in somehow stopping an evil terrorist organization?
Yeah, I agree. It seems like a great opportunity for sort of a Terminator type robot to just go after Venom. And instead, Bruce is in the process of trying to put the MLB out of business. Because why pay humans when you can just have robots play the game?
effective than T Bob is. Next up is Alex Sector, the other half of the codependent team. He's presumably in his pet shop and he's trying to catch a spider with a box trap. The alarm goes off, he runs off, and the spider gets caught under the box, presumably to die of starvation. Under said box.
I uh, this, it's a tarantula looking, it's not quite a tarantula, but it looks that way, like a brown tarantula. And my alternative theory is that spider is actually very deadly. And one of his assistants is going to come along thinking that they're cleaning up the room and it's going to get bitten by said spider who is so hungry, having been under that box for so long. Yeah.
No matter what it is, it will not be a new experience for Alex.
Another body to clean up.
Next on the team is Brad Turner. okay. This is weird. He's playing acoustic guitar to a group of teenagers, mostly girls, it appears. And there's a record. player playing behind him while he's doing this. So my only guess is that he's not really playing. He's pretending to play along while the record plays. And this is all he's got now since his band broke up. Just pretending to play guitar for a small group of teenage
It is such a sad scene across the board. Like, why is he hanging out with a bunch of teenage girls? What happened to Matt backing him and his band? And the only thought I had, because they have this one shot at the end, is they're all, except one, holding guitars.
And Like I was like, oh, maybe he's teaching them the guitar But there's one girl in the middle that looks really for Lauren so I wasn't sure if it was like her birthday and Brad is the washed up star was like her birthday gift and how he's run off I don't know. It was like it was pretty disturbing in a lot of ways
I will say during every moment of the scene, the kids do not look happy.
No, they do not
They look bored or grim or forlorn throughout. But that's our team, The three agents, Brad, Alex, and Bruce enter the radiation chamber of death and get their masks. We cut to the jungle, and we've got Thunderhawk, Condor, and Rhino, and they are rolling through a narrow road. We come to a three way split in the road, which is yet another mask staple, right? There's three branches to go off into, and Matt gives orders, you go this way, you go that way, and they take off.
And then Brad sings, and I'll get to Scotland before you. He is high as a kite.
he really is. And I also have to believe that there's some exchange somewhere that happens like this, where Alex goes to Matt and says, Matt, we have to talk about Brad's drug problem. He is always high. And Matt's response is like, look, Condor is easily our most dangerous mass vehicle. It's an open air, small helicopter where Brad can easily get shot at or just fall off. Or even have his hands cut off if he raises them in victory. if he needs to be high when flying, so be it.
because he is putting his life on the line constantly. And could die for so many different reasons.
We never know when we're gonna lose them. Let's let them die happy. It's the least we can do. We cut to Vanessa and Cliff there in Jackhammer. They are scanning for intruders, and they detect Matt and company. Cliff says, Mayhem doesn't want anyone in this area, except us. Let's get him. And Vanessa says, I thought all the natives were scared of this area. It'll be fun scaring them.
Yeah, once again, I think the tourism board locally should be fired. And, but if you look at Vanessa's face, she is it's such a sadistic look. She is ready to fuck some shit up. Even just thinking that they're natives, like this is really disturbing at this point in time. Cause it'll be fun scaring them. I think she means it'll be fun balling them.
She is in fact a bored dilettante, but she is a bored, psychopathic dilettante. Anyways, I digress. Back to the subject at hand. Matt encounters Jackhammer. He opens fire. the blast? Seems to ricochet off of a tree and it hits Brad? Matt then transforms into jet mode and he catches Condor on his roof and then lands. The whole thing seems totally pointless, right?
Yeah, I did not get this beat at all Venom hasn't done jack shit. But, now one of the mask vehicles is taken out?
Why would the writer. put that in there because it doesn't like it doesn't pay off Later on the episode It's just there to show that Matt is incompetent, Yeah, I don't know we've got Piranha and Jackhammer and they are headed towards Thunderhawk from opposite directions Thunderhawk takes off into the sky and the venom vehicles collide sending a Slyrax, the human ragdoll, flying very high into the sky and crashing into the trunk of a giant palm tree. he's dead, right?
I'll say this much. I'm almost believing that we need to start creating the Slyrax Ragdoll of Death Award. For the number of times we have seen Slyrax die. So I will say the lasers not firing on piranha might indicate something interesting because the vehicles are all still moving. So we can probably assume they're all gas powered, but the radiation is affecting the other systems. So stuff like lasers can't.
And it almost holds it together except I will point out Camaro can't fly and you would need something way fucking stronger than a gas engine to make it fly. So that is the one bit I've got a problem with here
that the one bit you've got a problem with here? The only thing that troubles you? Uh, uh, We focus now on Rhino and Switchblade is coming after Rhino. Switchblade fires its lasers and sends, you guessed it, rocks falling down. To stop Rhino. We've seen this now in almost every Mask episode At some point, a Venom vehicle fires against a canyon wall and send boulders flying down. Bruce tries to use Lifter, but it doesn't work.
I guess affected by the same radiation cloud or whatever And so to avoid certain death, Bruce And Alex run to hide in a cave, and then Miles, guess what, shoots the canyon again, causing boulders to fall down block the entrance to the cave, trapping Bruce and Alex.
Those missiles actually were originally aimed at Rhino itself. I don't think he was trying to hit the boulders. But, obviously it worked, because that's the only thing that seems to work for Venom. Also Bruce's got this little line of this isn't my idea of rock and roll and it was like, it's not a satirism. It just seems like silly, but lifter not working does help reinforce that shared energy source idea
Which I think confirms what we've thought all along, which is that the masks are heavily irradiated and brain cancer is coming. well. My friend Alex and Bruce trapped in a cave. They're probably gonna die. What's gonna happen?
don't know. I don't know.
We will find out after these messages
Mask will be right back, and so will Venom. Now back to math.
and we're back when we left you Bruce and Alex were trapped in a cave certain to die and now switchblade turns its attention on Matt and Brad But can't take them out because he's out of missiles.
Yeah, I actually thought this was like a really nice adherence to the logic they've established. I mean, There's a lot of illogic in this episode, but at least they're trying to maintain some degree where like the concept of the lasers are all powered by that radiation are affected, but you can still launch a missile doesn't have like this radioactive source that powers it.
Well, Matt and Brad, they discover that there's a small crawl space into the cave. And so they go in to find Bruce and Alex. And instead of finding them, They actually find the entrance to an ancient city. The tunnel they're crawling in has a bunch of low level radiation. But I assume it can't be worse than what they're wearing on their heads.
Yeah. It's pretty funny because as they're moving through it, they hit the part that is obviously like man made and Brad's comments are, wow, the walls are smooth as marble. And Matt's like, almost as if they were polished by human hands.
They're clearly man made.
They are. Yes. Yeah.
you think that this structure just happened to be formed by like a ancient volcanic eruption Well, outside the cave entrance the mask vehicles are there and they're abandoned. And venomous tracing their radiation signatures.
So the way they, they're going to get in is they try using stiletto, but that's not working because again, like they're they're adhering to their own rules,
Can I stop you there for a second? why is stiletto the right power to use to break a giant cave in?
I don't.
whip would be good. I'd assume anything Miles has would be good. Stiletto just seems like it would bounce off all the rocks.
Vanessa is the one who actually has a bomb with her that she bought on a little quote unquote shopping trip. So I take it that her earlier shopping trip wasn't for local goods. It was, she was meeting with arms dealers.
Again, she is a bored psychopathic dilettante.
Yeah.
She's like the Joker. She's a woman of simple, with simple pleasures. Matt and Brad keep walking down this hallway, and they, Discover the ancient lost city of Rajim. And they kind of appear to be at the top of a temple. And near the top of this temple is a giant statue of a Hindu goddess. A very curvy Hindu goddess. Did you catch that?
I did. I did. That goddess was rather buxom. I'll just state it that way. It was just like, wow, okay. I don't know if that was an instruction from the writers to the animators. Please make this as buxom as possible. But my, I was like, wow, like this was what was on TV.
name of the city?
I, he's making this shit up. The scepter is the scepter of regime, but I don't think that was like the city name or I don't know if that was established. I think he's just like, I'm Matt. I know what I'm talking about. He's like, it's not even gonna bother to find out the name or ask either.
It turns out there's a whole ancient civilization living in this city, and it's filled with people, and very smart tigers, actually. Uh, the tigers don't eat them, but they guide them to actually encounter Alex and Bruce, who are also being guided by tigers. Bruce says You have found a lost city that was never really lost. Brad says, come on, Bruce, translate. And I think it's actually pretty clear, Brad. You're just being a jerk. That's not a sadoism.
And I think this is Brad's first real foray into the Buddy Hawks award. at least as a nomination and Bruce is being really clear here and Brad, it feels like he's just being a dick and like choosing not to understand
Alex, by the way, says, The people of this city choose to lose themselves here. This is a massive leap of logic. So I'm gonna go ahead and nominate this for the Leap of Logic Award for this episode.
Yeah. a couple of things, it was so weird how they're walking around in masks and outfits that seem like they're aliens. No one in the city is freaked out. They're just going about their business. Did they expect the tigers to just take care of any unwanted guests? Alex's comment, I took two different ways. The people of the city chose to lose themselves here. Sounded awfully close to someone saying, These people have chosen to be savages. And notably, Alex is British.
Um, the other Way I thought he was trying to say it to Brad was, These people choose to lose themselves here. Like you choose to lose yourselves in drugs, Brad.
Yeah. Maybe I could see a version of this episode that ends with Brad deciding to stay there. know what, man, this is great.
Funny you say that, because Alex makes a comment that this society has existed for hundreds of years. Here, they can enjoy peace and serenity without intrusion from the outside world. And Brad's response is, you mean all these people that disappeared came here? Not exactly my idea of a vacation. He's really shitting on these folks.
Totally. Bruce does bust out with another sadoism here. The Plight of modern man is controlled by the touch of his past. And Brad responds, there he goes again. What's that mean? I don't know. That's the second Buddy Hawks award nomination for Brad within 30
Yeah, that's Brad's
Heh, heh, heh.
and Dusty aren't around, so Brad's like working overtime here.
Alex explains that the radiation grows over time, and then explodes into the Regime Borealis every five years. How does he know this?
He's just making shit up again, like I don't think Alex's has any knowledge. He's just trying to make sure that people think he's smart.
Alex also reveals that the Scepter of Regime neutralizes any radiation it touches. Yet another just giant leap of logic.
Yeah. There was definitely a WTF on that point in time I know they show it like going over some fruit, but unless Alex was actually told and he didn't cite his sources, like by the people who do speak English in the city, unless he's told by them, how it works, like he is just making one thing up after another.
we can keep on going down this path a little bit, Because of what Alex says, Matt realizes that this is why Venom wants it. And it's like, okay, stop. Miles said the Scepter of Rajim would give him all the riches of the world. my question in this moment was, how does a magic wand that neutralizes radiation actually achieve that?
And then A few moments later, we cut to Miles, and he explains that he can use it to neutralize the radioactive elements in the security systems that guard the world's greatest riches? Okay. I'm sure there's other ways, though, like a mask that fires acid or a missile. Miles finally explains that all computer surveillance equipment will be useless against me. now, I think it's time to turn to Science Corner.
Yeah. Okay. Let's touch base on this. We're been butchering the word radiation for this entire time, but most surveillance equipment, if you think about it, operates on some form of low frequency, Radiation. And what do I mean by that? Visible light, infrared light, there is a set of radiation that does operate on radioactive material, which is smoke detectors. So smoke detectors have a tiny bit of radioactive material that interacts with the carbon in the smoke.
And that's what causes them to go off. So my question is Miles's plan to neutralize All smoke detectors so that Cliff can just use torch to set shit on fire. Because like, it seems really out there and petty, but also kind of in the wheelhouse we've seen for miles. Adam, do you know what would be an amazing use of something that could fucking remove radioactive radiation? This is now, Miles, it's not a multi billion dollar idea. It's a multi trillion dollar opportunity.
What's a great and non carbon producing way to do it? Of actually generating energy nuclear fission, but what's the problem with nuclear fission, Adam?
Leftover nuclear material?
So if you actually had something that could remove that radiation from that material, then basically you could just build As many nuclear fission reactors as you wanted to and solve the world's energy problems like so if this was the idea of how he gets all the world's riches like that would be amazing but it's not he wants to set fire to shit after taking out the smoke detectors
Leaving a billion to trillion dollars on the table Well, Sly racks, he sneaks in, he steals the scepter, and he is chased by half naked guards. Well, Here's trope again. Good job, writers. While he's running away, He tips over, like a medium sized potted plant, both guards trip over it. They're like the Keystone Cops of the ancient world. Meanwhile, Matt and the gang are trying to figure out how they're going to get out of the city.
Because the locals told Alex that they won't let them out for fear of divulging their secret location. And Matt actually says, Who's gonna stop us from leaving? Whoa! Whoa, buddy!
fuck this shit, I'm out of here.
He's like, they're gonna stop me from getting out of here? I'd like to see them try.
Now reminder, Matt, spectrum laser isn't working. You can't just blast your way out of here.
Yeah, but the guy is like, built. He is jacked. He could probably beat up a lot of people.
before he's stabbed or he's mauled by a tiger though. So I really liked this exchange because Brad's like, what if we took off our masks to show how friendly we are? And Alex's response is, no, I told them we would respect their privacy if they respected ours.
But are they really afraid of this ancient civilization that never leaves their underground city from divulging the identities of mask agents?
If they're hidden they wouldn't even know the name Matt Tracker from Adam Sandler at that point in time, like
yeah, I was actually surprised that no one ran up to him and said, Mr. Tracker, thank goodness you're here.
It's true, we've seen that time and time again
suddenly, one of the half naked guards runs up to the mask team and says in broken English, once again, well done mask writers, Help! Masked man stole scepter! Come on, guys. they go and they chase Sly, but they are stopped by the fat leader of the civilization, who says that only Matt can go. And if he doesn't return, he'll kill Brad, Alex, and Bruce. escalated quickly. But also, does Matt really care?
I got the logic from the leader though, because masked people stole this thing, there are other masked people here, I can't differentiate between the two of you, so I guess you'll die if you don't return it. Now Matt says say to him only my friends and I can return the scepter to you unless it's a book of power, in which case we're going to take it and analyze it for ourselves.
Right. So I would not put money on Matt returning the scepter.
Yeah.
He's like, I have a device in my hand that neutralizes radiation versus a pet shop owner, a failed musician, and a toy designer.
What's interesting is like, this part right here, which is gonna last only about two minutes, and we're nearly at the end of the episode. It's, it is the essence of the tagline of the episode, which means that everything else was just the buildup to these minutes.
I would love to see an episode where Matt, and not only just Matt, but Matt without any of his powers. Because what we learn next is that Matt's weapons aren't working, and so he's got to go up against Venom, whose powers are working, like the vehicles work once again because Miles has the scepter. Wouldn't you love to see like a kind of Rambo first blood, like down and dirty type episode where Matt's got to figure out some way to defeat Venom on his own without any abilities? That's cool.
That's a great episode of Mask.
It would be a very cool episode. Maybe the writers pitched it and then they realized, this is actually less believable than the episode we have to write. like if This was another Mask Agent, then maybe, but like Matt has proven to be so incompetent that I don't think the audience would buy it.
As I mentioned Matt does have to go up against Venom without any of his abilities. A great Thunderhawk and Switchblade battle takes place. And Matt's kinda talking to himself There's gotta be a way to use Venom's weapons against them. and there's actually a great maneuver he pulls here. He flies headed straight down to the ground towards Piranha and Jackhammer who are shooting up at him.
Meanwhile, Switchblade is following Matt in this kind of suicide dive, and Switchblade is shooting down at him. then Matt hits the brakes in like a Top Gun moment, kind Drops below Switchblade, causing, the Venom vehicles to fire on each other damaging them. That is actually a super cool maneuver.
It really was amazingly cool. It was smart. yeah, I almost thought it was wasted on this episode, but it was a great idea. Like I give full props to Matt on this one.
Miles drops the scepter, falls out of Switchblade, and Matt catches the scepter in Thunderhawk. Uh, Vanessa asks Miles if they're going back to the Lost City, but Miles says no, and his excuse is, I never liked cats who weren't housebroken. That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard from Venom, Or frankly, any terrorist organization ever. Basically, I don't like tigers. So I don't want to go back and try to get the scepter back.
mean, He's like, I don't like house broken cats, but I'm not also willing to murder all of them to get the scepter. Like, you know, cause yeah, they never actually encounter a tiger. They probably see him from afar, but there's nothing to say. Miles couldn't just Viper every single one of those tigers to death.
exactly. Matt returns the scepter to the fat man who rules the city. And the ruler says the masked ones are free to leave our city.
the men who took it won't dare to return. And I'm like. Why do you know this, Matt? Are you just that confident in Miles laziness? You know him so well that it's, it'll be fine.
Yeah well, and also, when Matt comes back, they're basically standing in the exact same location as when he left them.
Surrounded by tigers. I had this question. Were they not allowed to sit down? What if they needed to go to the bathroom? It just seems like super uncomfortable. It's
I bet their suits are like astronaut suits, where you can just go to You can have pee in them. Matt's not good with bathroom breaks. Matt, can we stop somewhere, as we're driving across the country? Can we stop at this rest facility? Nope. You know what your suit's for.
The last thing Matt says to the ruler is the secret of the city of regime is safe with us. I had a question can he promise that about the local tourist board?
Well, We are back at the hotel, and Matt, Scott, and T Bob are packing up. Scott doesn't want to go, because he hasn't seen a tiger yet.
And Matt's like, not tigers. And it's like this funny ha fourth wall breaking moment. But God, man this is what you probably promised Scott in the first place, when you brought him here. It just felt wrong. Scott's like, dad, I've been in this hotel room the entire time, except for the dedication ceremony. And there's no AC, it's been hot. Can we please go somewhere else? Nope. Going home.
So yeah, let's tell the story of this episode from Scott's standpoint. T Bob pretend to be a tiger. They go to sleep. Something weird happens at night. Bright lights happen. Matt realizes it's venom. Can I come with you, dad? Nope. See you later. Scott sits in a hotel room with T Bob. who knows how long. Tick tock, Tick tock. Dad busts the door open. Alright, we're going home. Like, that's Scott's POV of the episode. That's so sad.
We never talked about the travel time from Denver to India. Which would probably be like 18
so, that's So true, right? Cause Matt's in the jungle, waiting for Matt to show up. He's just sitting there for 18 hours, in the jungle. Oh.
Meanwhile, Scott and T Pop are still in that hotel room. Alone.
Do they have room service?
I hope to God they do.
But that's it. We cut to the more you know episode. We're back at the mansion. So fortunately everyone made it home safe. Scott and T Bob are playing tennis. Scott is wearing his third outfit of the episode. Which is a record. For Scott.
Yeah. Yeah.
outfit. and again, maybe this is just because of how you and I were raised PJ, but this assumes that kids in the mid eighties understand tennis, a sport, which is typically played by wealthy white people at private clubs or mansion properties. I was not exposed to tennis much When I was 10 years old, baseball, for sure, dad would take me out when I saw him would take me out to the triple a Boston Red Sox affiliate while he knocked back a bunch of beers and I had peanuts.
But tennis was not big on my radar back then. We can
Nor mine.
But. They stopped playing tennis. T Bob is tired. says, let's get you a cool drink from the tool shed. BJ, you have some property out there in Colorado. I'm not, I can't remember if you have a shed or not, but let's pretend you do. Where would you keep your cool drinks?
I'll tell you where I keep my cool drinks. I will also tell you what I keep in the tool shed.
Uh
Okay. I keep cool drinks in the refrigerator in my garage. What do I keep in my tool shed? outdoor tools and pesticides, maybe some fertilizer.
So Scott runs into this tool shed on the tracker property, and he randomly hands T Bob some glass bottle. And without a single question, T Bob begins pouring the, seems like a purple liquid, into like the spout on the top of his head. And Matt runs in and yells, Scott, wait, that bottle isn't marked. And Scott says, poison and household cleaners could kill someone. And did you notice he's smiling? I have to believe that he knew 100 percent that it was poison that he gave to T Bob.
trying to figure this one out. like, I agree. Why is Scott going to the tool shed for a drink? Only logical answer I had. Does Matt distill liquor in there? Like, and, And so therefore he has other stuff. But what is it that T Bob drank? Because it is, it's either purple or blue. I couldn't tell. It's Which could be coolant, which is dangerous for humans, but would make sense for this poor beleaguered robot.
And water would actually be bad for T Bob, and he would short circuit, and then finally, like, why is T Bob just putting random fluid into itself?
I know. But Matt's response to all this by the way, is always keep poisons and household cleaners labeled.
But he has this like knowing wink it's like what the fuck is up with that
He's smiling, Scott's smiling, T Bob is falling apart, having poured poison into him. But if Matt is so concerned about household cleaners
Why aren't they labeled? Or are they like at a rich friend's house and like it makes it worse cuz Scott's like let's just go to the toolshed That's where I find drinks at home
it's a good message, but absolutely poorly executed on every level. Except if you truly believe that Scott is trying to poison T Bob to make an example out of him. Cause it's like, T Bob, you should read the labels! Before you drink things that are handed to you,
but I trusted you, Scott. Well, You shouldn't.
That's it for episode 15. We have some uh, notables in this episode, one of which being the most number of costume changes for both Matt and Scott. Because Matt is also wearing like a tennis outfit
Yeah.
during the more, you know. So
of the Year Award.
let's talk about the awards. Indeed. Yeah. So Matt's father of the Year award. pj, what do you got?
I mean, this is close. I think we're seeing this one trope. That, for me, is a close one, but like Just the blaming Scott for the mysterious lights just seems like such a sad commentary I again the close one is like for me leaving Scott alone in the hotel in a city for a long time in a foreign land yet again But just like I don't know blaming Scott felt like edged out for me, how about you?
for the hotel, because if you think about the amount of time Scott is left alone in the hotel, it's more than 24 hours. It's easily, that's like, gotta go chase Venom, see you later, and easily a whole day goes by.
Just with the flight time from Denver to wherever in India they are, which you said is an easy 18 hours, go ahead and add all the time for the battles and the finding of the city and all that stuff like that, it's easily 24 hours, if not more, and I find that is just abandonment at the highest level.
Honestly, it is a worthy one, and I can't really dispute it because it's chronic. It's not like it's a one off thing. We see this with Matt constantly.
Buddy Hawks Award nominees, who have you got?
I'll tell you my runner's up. Alex, for his whitesplaining of the city,
Yeah.
he's either making shit up, or he's relaying what he's been told by some inhabitant of the city. That's still a runner up. Matt for his treatment of the locals which was pretty bad. I kinda gotta give it to Brad Turner for his like, repeated, desire to not understand Bruce. Bruce was super fucking clear, and Brad was just like, not having it.
I am going to agree with you, I think the runners up are outstanding nominees, in the grandest of mask fashion but I do want to give it to Brad only because he hasn't actually been nominated before and I would like to give him some laurels. So I agree.
He's a repeat offender though in this episode and that's something I don't know if we've seen a lot of before but regardless, mean we do have a quadruple reinforcement of the Writer's Lifetime Achievement Award in the Buddy Hawks Award.
Oh yeah, I mean, this goes without saying. I mean, in every episode going forward, it's just, writers dominate this category. And uh, They can take pride or shame from it. Whichever they would like. From this award. Now, you want to propose the Slyrax Ragdoll Achievement Award?
Yeah, I don't know. It's not something I think any of us expected, but just the number of times when it's clear that Slyrock should have died, whether it's like him being tossed around with Lifter early on, or being tossed out of the water due to a depth charge, or crashing and flying through the air, like these are all times he should have died or be in traction. And I wonder if maybe he did, and Miles just replaced him with a clone. But SlyRax gets the shit kicked out of him frequently.
I approve of this award and I want to see if other characters will ever get a nomination but that is it for this episode of the Mobile Armored Podcast Show. Hey, I want to say a quick hello to all the listeners in good old Providence, Rhode Island. Who have suddenly found this podcast and have Taking it over because now we have more listeners from Providence than from anywhere else in the world. For those who are interested, Providence, number one, Dublin, number two.
That's where our major listener bases are. And of course, like Colorado and all over the country and the world, really, Los Angeles, Arizona, places like that, but Providence out of nowhere. There's like so many people who are just discovering the beauty of the mobile armor podcast show. So that's our hometown and so a. Hello and a what up to all our friends back in Providence.
We really would like to create a rivalry between Providence and Dublin at this point in time. So if you can pump those numbers up, that'd be awesome. Take pride for your city about
Yeah,
one
come on Dublin.
ha
You're gonna let Providence, Rhode Island take you on? Anyways, we love what we do. We just love laughing with each other every week. But uh, we do do it for all of you listeners, so thank you, of course for listening. Keep the comments coming. We've got a fun guest host to announce next week, so stay tuned for that. But next week's episode Episode 16 is The Golden Goddess.
Venom steals golden relics from ancient temples in Singapore, using a special gas that liquefies gold and smuggling it by pumping it secretly through a pipeline. That's not convoluted at all.
I wonder if Venom's just like, ah, what's near India? Singapore, let's just stay in this hemisphere.
There is? Good. Cause that's where 99 percent of my schemes begin.
there's ancient temples and caves, we're in.
Well, uh, This podcast has to transform and head back to HQ. I am Adam Moore.
And I am PJ Buh bye.
The mobile armored podcast show is written, produced and edited. Bye Adam Moore. And PJ McNerney.