Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. So every year I say to myself, Okay, I am not going to let Christmas sneak up on me. I'm not gonna let it happen this year. And I say I'm going to plan ahead. Yeah right, you guys knew me.
I don't plan. That would make life too easy.
So yeah, guess what, it's Christmas. Oh my gosh, it's almost Christmas. And you know what that means. Its amount of time. So it's interesting because my friend Macy said to me this year, I'm going to help you. She was helping me out while I was doing Dancing with the Stars the finale, and she said, I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna get kids to write their Christmas list, and no joke. I said to her, it's no, what are you talking about? And she goes, it's November. What are
you talking about? And I was like, oh, this is me. Why do I do this to myself?
You're right?
So she got the kids to all right Christmas list and then she said, I'm going to help you here and plan a day and I'm going to go with you. And I said, okay, that's great, and she said, when can you go like next weekend. I was like no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, we have so much time. Long story short, it's a days before Christmas. I haven't even put a huge dent into the Christmas list and I never took mac up on that.
May see if for listening, what are you doing Christmas Eve?
So Christmas time is stressful with five kids. Christmas time is stressful with any amount of kids.
You know what's doubly it's doubly award.
You know what's double stressful this year is that we do celebrate Christmas and Hanukah. And it's again I always say this, it's not about a religious thing. It's a holiday celebration thing. And while I am Jewish, always have celebrated Christmas. You know, I grew up my mom went all out for Christmas, but we all also celebrated Hanukah and all Jewish holidays.
So but this.
Year, I'm not sure what happened, but Christmas and Hanukah fall in the same day.
It literally never happens. Ritana. Is this true? Yes, that is true.
They paul exactly the same time this year.
Which.
Yeah, it's I mean, if you're a household that celebrates both. It's well, it sucks for the parents, That's all I'm gonna say, because it's you know, first of all, Christmas is about giving and giving and giving and giving until you just are completely suck dry. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. I'm not gonna candy can it here.
I'd love a Candican right now. The Cancan is espresso martini. Doesn't that sound good?
That sounds amazing.
Oh yes, with a sugar run.
I said, okay, well, I'm getting distracted by my own self typical. So you know, kids make their Christmas list, they're devastated if they don't get the things on their list. And you're like, oh, sorry, I guess Santa couldn't get you everything. My kids said to me last year, do you think next year you could get me something? And I wanted to say, like, oh, I got you everything that you got, and he's like, because Santa got me all these presents, and Mom, you didn't get me anything.
But I couldn't say anything.
I was like, oh, that's true, that's true. So Christmas gifts and then eight days to Hanka. So if you do both, you do both. That's great.
That's great, and then of course it's just a lot, and it's overwhelming. And when things get overwhelming and there's a list for me to do, I tend to focus on like number twenty on the list of top ten.
So wait, I have a question, Yeah.
Are you going to buy each child a present for each night of Hanukkah?
Fuck?
No, okay, because I was going to say, you may want to just lump that all together.
No more of a symbolic I used to listen, I'm a tired old mom. Like as my best friend Jess always says, lame Stella got the best years of my life, like bo being the fifth child, had him at forty four.
Yeah, he's a poor guy. He just gets slumped.
And the good and bad news is he doesn't know. He doesn't really really know, Euce if he watches that damn YouTube and YouTube ruins things like there's so many Yeah, so he knows, so he knows like he's supposed to get at eight days of presence. But I used to like lame Sella, Oh my gosh, the huge DIY like advent calendar I would make.
I would make cookies, cookies, cookies from scratch.
I didn't stop di wining and baking until the well was dry, and it was never dry like it was.
I was younger then too, but I just don't have it in me anymore.
So yeah, we'll put out our manora and we'll light the candles every night, and perhaps a chocolate coin every night.
Boe got excited about those.
So that's what he knows in a dradle, and maybe one small gift the first night.
That sounds good, That sounds doable. Going back to gifts, Can I talk elf on the shelf? Please?
Elf on the shelf? Is just there's so many things now, Like I mean, there's like, oh gosh, elf on a shelf. There's minch on a bench. There's a fairy on the prairie, I don't know, like Snoop dog on the roof, Snoop on the stoop, we got that one. There's so many
and they see them and they want them. And you know, I always say, I'm guilty mom, guilty working mom, and so I'm like, oh, okay, because the honest thing is is I'm such a big kid at heart that my eyes are like the cartoon character, like like Tom and Tom Jerry, Like my eyes light up too, and I'm like, oh my god, what a great idea, what a great new tradition. Yes, yes, until I have to do the work and I'm like no, no, why did I do
this to myself? But anyway, so elfa on the Shelf this year the teenagers, I was like, hey, guys, I'm going to hand some of the nights over to you. So we do this thing and we go through the house and take turns, so it'll be you know, I'll do one night and then after dinner I'll dis quietly run by Stella and be like, tag, you're it, and she's.
Like no, I'm like, yeah, yeah, you're it, and she's like, oh no why.
And then Liam will do it one night, Patty'll do it one night, Finn I'll do it one night. Which is a little sad to me that four out of my five kids don't believe in elf on the Shelf anymore. I won't even talk Santa with them because I don't even want to hear it. I don't even want to hear it. Like, as far as I'm concerned, he's as real as it comes, Like it's I don't want to hear it.
We're just pushing through. We just celebrate as if he does exist. But let's face it.
You know, at this point, Bo's the only one that's really like, oh my gosh. Anyway, So I like to do very like creative things with elf on the shelves. I always say, our elves are kind of naughty, and we have you met me. They have a little bit of a you know, naughty body, dirty, dark sense of humor. They're mischievous, rebellious, they're me in an elf Zah.
Finn did this one.
Finn joined in on the fun down one morning and the elves were all gathered around the stove and they had a skillet not on, and reindeer was in the skillet and he wrote a note.
How do you like your reindeer rare, medium or well done? Wow? I said, no, no, no, no.
When it comes to elves and reindeers, we're vegan. It's funny when girls versus boys do it, because Stella and Hattie.
Do do the elves.
And it's like very creative and very artsy, and you know, they're doing bath bombs and they're like doing cute things and they're taking like you know, they're cooking and making things and stop up baking and like it's cute, like cutesy like stuff, and then the boys do it and they're like sex love, rock and roll, no minus love. Anyway, it's a better It's better than my elves that caught the last year, so because that was a little more heartbreaking when their skins started to catch on fire. It
was like very triggering. It was like Benny Hannah for me all over again. But we had to get niw Wolves and they've made it through, so can't wait for them to be gone.
Anyway.
It's very confusing Christmas dinner because it's Tonica dinner as well, so if you celebrate both. Oh, I can't even say what I'm about to say. We we typically have a Christmas ham.
Wow. It would.
Only because it's you know me, I'm really big on tradition. Growing up, we always had turkey for Thanksgiving my mom would have and then for Christmas we would have turkey and ham.
So I just grew up with that tradition.
I know, I know, but it's Hanica. So it's like, can't have a ham? Like do you have a ham? Do you have a brisket? Like, I'm not sure what to do?
You know, you could do some potato pancakes and call it today.
Definitely some potato pancakes.
But it's like, yeah, okay, so yeah, I told Stella and she was like she always helps me, you know, cook and do everything. And she was like, mom, no, we can't have a ham. And I was like, I know, but you guys love Hi bait tam for Christmas. She's like, I know, but it's it's Christmas.
Christmas cu, Christmas cut, Christmacha, Christmas cut. What is that?
I like, Christmacha.
Christmacha, It's Christmacha. Yeah. So anyway, it'll be interesting to see what happens.
Ham and Lacus a great Hanaka tradition.
So you know what you know when that big like stuff a bird and a bird and a bird was back was in like back in the day. I remember I made a turn duncan turn duck in one year?
What is that?
Like?
You put a duck in a turkey.
You're going to be so mad right now? You put a duck in a you put a duck in a chicken in a turkey.
Yeah, that's not working for me on any level.
I know. So maybe this year I have a turkey. I have a turkey.
I stuff it was get filter fish with the slab of ham perfect right across the top of it.
Perfect. Get filter fish, like the nastiest Jewish food ever created. Fair that concur I.
Don't know one Jewish human that likes it, or non Jewish human or human or you know what. You know, you know it's bad when you get it, because it's tradition. You're like, oh, we have the gift filter fish, and everyone's like, I don't want to filled of fish. And then you try to and then you're like oh and you feel bad. So you're like the dog want it, and the dogs like fuck no.
And then you're like, okay, well it's fish.
I'm sure the cattle eat it. And the cat just like turns and like put this tail up button your.
Face and like walks off.
You're like, okay, they shouldn't make this anymore. I'm sorry. So as far as Christmas presents, I think I have missed my mark for Amazon Prime.
Yeah, not think. I know.
I checked last night, and that just means I'm gonna have to do what I do every year, and this is a tradition.
I go on Christmas Eve and shop. Who does that? Apparently a lot of.
People because the mall is packed, It's like packed, and then I have to wrap all night. Do you guys have a solution like I feel? No, I can't have a solution. So when the kids were younger, I did a Santa's bag. I would say I was a lot smarter than and it would be Santa's gifts in the big, you know.
Red velvet bag embroidered with their names on it.
First two children got Lucky Lucky have our gifts that we would wrap, but the majority would be from Santa. I'm sorry, I'm keeping my voice down. My kids are in the other room. It's just bo anyway. And then I went to no Santa bag because I lost it somewhere.
In storage obviously, and then start wrapping all the gifts.
And Deane used to help me wrap all the gifts, but obviously now I'm a single mom, separate households. So Stella wrapped all the gifts with me, and it's just poor thing she shops the gifts with me. So last year, I'm not kidding, Stella didn't get a Christmas present at all.
Why because I waited the last minute and then I was doing it all alone. She had to help me.
She felt bad because it was like, oh, this is you know, I have to help and I want the siblings all. Her big thing is she doesn't want our lives to impact especially.
Well, so she is really.
Driven on that, like this is tradition, this is what we've always done.
We're gonna do it. I'll do it with you.
I don't care about my gift. I don't want a gift. Let's go, Let's make sure bo has everything, Let's wrap it. It's gonna be great, and we're gonna do this in surprise the when Santa came home in the stocking and cooked dinner. And it's just she stresses a lot about it, which I love her for that, but because she knows I've always stressed about it and just wanted them to ultimately have an amazing Christmas and feel.
Love and joy.
But it's just so it's Christmas has gotten so out of hand. It's not about love and joy anymore. It's like kids, little kids now are just like, oh, I get a present, What do I get? What do I get? And it's just so different that it's taken the love and joy out of it for us adults who love the holidays, and it's taken it out of the joy for my six year old. So anyway, last year, we were shopping down to the wire. I remember I had my friend babysitting the kids at the house. Stella was
out with me. We did a mad dash to that mall. Oh my gosh.
We got most of the stuff and then I was just like, this.
Is awkward, Stella, I color buggy, buggy, I don't know what to do, like, I know your I have your list, which was small, and I said, but I feel weird. Do I stop now and say go look the other way and let me run in here and get it for you. And she's like, no, Mom, we got to get this done. Just go I don't need We'll deal with me later. Well, we didn't deal with her later.
She stayed a all night with me wrapping gifts. I think she and I finally went to bed at like four in the morning, and then of course like bows up at like seven, like let's open gifts. And it we was like.
We pulled it off.
I mean, if I hadn't had her, I would not have pulled it off successfully.
And we did.
And it's just and she was like I think Kattie and Finn still believe, but I don't know. So, and the house we were in at the time was an Airbnb and their rooms are right.
Over where we were.
Like we literally had gifts sitting outside and we were like trying to pull them in. And then we got like this little car for Bo. And I'm sorry, I hate being like male female, like it's a boy's job, but I don't know how.
To put a car together, like it's.
Like with a million pieces of plastic and screws. And Stella is really good at that though, so she and that's what Dean used to do. So like Stella was up all night putting this like motorized car for Bo to get in and drive, putting it together all night, and I was just like, I'm so sorry, baby. So anyway, this year I would love to tie you on this
and finish this off grade and strong. But this year I said to her, okay, I need your Christmas list, and she said, well, it's just like a few things on it, like I just want like a couple of T shirts and like it was like nothing like literally three things of like each thing was like, you know, a ten dollars, like a piece of clothes, Like I want that a pair of socks, fuzzy socks, and I said, well,
what do you want? She goes, you know what I want and I was like, well, you're not getting the vintage Bronco and she's like, I don't want anything for Christmas. I would like to start a fund and so, and I'm going to work really hard. And when she's sixteen, she has got her learners permit, but she has six months till she gets you know, takes the driving test and can drive a car. And we have one vehicle, so you know, between pickups in all five kids, I
assume we will need a second mode of transportation. And she really wants to work hard and put money towards that and work for her own car. And she wants to kind of restore because she's really good at stuff like that, at building and redoing and repurposing. And she wants her dream car, which ironically is my dream car because I meant to antique cars as well, is a vintage Bronco, but not like the fancy ones, are not
like the totally redone ones that cost so much. She wants to take like a real, like junkie one and literally work on it and restore it with her own money. So yeah, she just said all she wants me to do is start contributing to her Bronco fund. But how do I not give her something on Christmas?
Like I don't make a nice contribution, open the account and put some money in there.
Oh what, sorry you lost me an opening account and you lost me a get up money.
Sorry. Oh and Finn, Finn wants gift cards. I was like, who does that?
He's like V box or b blocks whatever roadblocks, b bucks the gaming cards you know, or he wants like a gift card, Amazon gift card. I'm like, that takes all the fun out of it. And there's so many practical parents out there. My ex would say, great, like this is. But I love the gift of giving and being creative. Well I used to do. I used to love it so much.
Allegedly I love it.
But when I have the time, I love to really like hone in on what people like and make them or give them something that's not just the ordinary, but something they'd.
Be like, oh, wow, I told you I like a B and C like a.
Year or two years ago, and you remember that and then you like brought it back around.
I love that stuff.
So for me to like put a gift card in a box and wrap it would.
Be so easy, but feels not very joyous. He'll be joyous.
Yeah, it's practical. Yeah, So they're at that age anyway. So that's Christmas, that's Hanukah, that's elf on a shelf, and that's the holidays. And the thing is like they rip through the stuff so fast. Oh, rapping if anyone has an idea on wrapping this year, because honestly, for Stell and I to stay up like all night to four am rapping little tiny like you know, Bo wants.
A little like Ruk's cube.
He wants a you know, he's really into those, so he likes different ones and and to match box cars, like to wrap mutual thing. It's just like mundane and just like, oh so what do I do with it?
That's why there's gift bags. They make gift bags in every size and you can buy them in bulk at like TJMX, but that's no fun. It's better to torture yourself.
Yeah.
Part of the joy of giving.
And here's the thing that happens every year. It does that We're like, okay, we're.
Gonna put the tree up, and then we're like, we're gonna decorate the tree and we're gonna lug all of our it used to be you know, Christmas decorations out of storage and get them to our house. We no longer have storage, so find it in the garage, get it inside, and.
It's sat there.
So now it's like days before Christmas. They can choose your battles. Do I put up the decorations. I'm not gonna lie. There's a Christmas tree sitting down there and the lights are twinkling and it's like nobody's home. There's no ornaments, so it's like, oh god, real life here. Yeah, but do we put the ornaments up?
At this point with two days left?
I say yes?
You say yes, you're a Christmas ere though, right, it's never too late.
That's a fun activity for Christmas Eve. While you're making your ham in your turkey and your chicken in your gefilta fish meal, the kids can be decorating the tree.
Have you met my kids? Yeah?
Are they going to decorate the tree. That's like saying, hey, guys, trash is sitting there. Are you gonna take it out? They don't, So then I eventually take it out so I could just add this to my piling list of do I sound like the Grinch? Oh my god, Oh my god, I'm not. I love Christmas so much. Last year was a big one. It was right after Diana and I split and we had had black mold and we were kind of.
Everything had blown.
Up, right, and we were just kind of surviving, surviving Christmas and while we were together, which is really all that matters, and there's so much love and the kids are frigging resilient.
My kids are resilient. They take after me.
I did say to them, you guys, this is a moment. This is a moment, and we're going through it. But we're together through it, and next year it's going to be calm next year. Anyway, here cut to a year later, and we're still just trying to survive Christmas, surviving the holidays, like getting through it.
And it's like wow, and Bo said.
Mom, you haven't taken me to any of the places because another this is another like a thing where the lights are, where the Christmas lights are. We haven't gone to a Christmas activity like one of those. And I was like, I was like, but we made it to the Christmas tree lot we did made it. I used to cut down my own damn tree.
That's a lie to make my kids cut down the tree, and I videotaped it, but no, I did. I did.
And now I'm like, oh my gosh, it used to be a fake tree, girl, Like I wasn't faking it.
There's no shame in a fake tree. No, they're great, they're awesome. And gift bags and anything that simplifies the holiday process, there is no shame in that.
So it's just the tradition is a real hard thing for me to let go of, especially we tried to create something for your kids and then things are different and you don't want them to feel like, oh my gosh, look what happened. Our lives fell apart, our parents divorced, and then even our Christmas wasn't the same, like on some level. So I'm still kind of making up. So we got to follow a tradition. Gotta follow tradition. I know I need to let it go, but or find
a happy medium. Twenty twenty five Christmas, it's going to be the one. I'm not going to be surviving twenty twenty five Christmas. I'm gonna be diving into twenty twenty five Christmas starting in September.
There, I said that or I could make this real easy.
Guys, hey, the hoard at heart here, I could just not take anything down, and by next Christmas I will be winning because I'll be.
So far ahead.
You know the people like when you go like fourth of July and suddenly you go to like a store and it's like, already they have Halloween, and then like the day after Halloween, already they have Christmas. So the day after Halloween, I'll be like, okay, focus here, we'll pick one room and we'll decorate for Halloween, and then everything.
Else in the house. I'll just leave Christmas.
So by the time we get to November first, I'm like, Christmas is on perfect.
It's a thought.
So you guys, whatever you do, try not distress.
Don't stress. It's just Christmas.
You know what I am gonna miss though, you know what's given me a lot of solace during this last month of stress. Or Christmas movies like Bow and Bo is funny. Bo loves Christmas movies, but not just Christmas movies, like of course, you know, we went through all the new ones that came out this year and he watched it like Red One and like and he loves Spirited with you know Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell. But we go through all of them and then we go to
the like you know, Old School one. So he watches Home Alone and Elf and like, you know, Christmas Story, like all the ones I grew up with and everything. And then once that's all done, I'm not kidding this, like creative seven year old, genius, little man, old soul. He will go through and watch all the Hallmark movies and I'm like, what seven year old is interested in a Hallmark movie? And he's like, oh mom, and he oh. This kid talks through everything and I'm like, oh my god, stop.
But I can't make him stop because he's so smart. He will be like, oh, you understand what's happening here. She's sad on Christmas, but he has come into her life and by the end of the movie they're going to be together and she's no longer going to be sad. I'm like, how does he know this? And I'm like, I mean, it's a Hallmark movie. You know you can figure it out, but not at seven. But there's no like fun like Christmas elves. And it's not like Grinch,
and it's not like fun. It's just like you know, the Hallmark romance, Like middle aged women like me watch it and cry like a seven year old. He's like, but you know, in all fairness, he ran out of others.
But he'll watch it.
Anything Christmas, he will watch That's all I'm saying. So I'll be sad when those are done. But anyway, whatever you do for the holidays, don't stress or stress too much. Try to enjoy yourselves because we're always told to live in the present.
Get at the presence. Oh how am I gonna wrap those damn presents?
But you know what the good news is, guys, next time we talk, ugh talk, I'll talk.
You'll listen. It's like therapy for me.
It'll be twenty twenty five and twenty twenty five.
It's gonna be the one. It's gonna be the one. You guys, don't you say that every year? Oh yeah, I'm pulling for twenty twenty five. Happy Holidays,