Miss Mathews!

Miss Spelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.

Hello, Hello, Hello, Hi, my friend. I'm so happy to see you. How are you? I'm good? You look good?

Nah, that's a crock of shit. I hate when people say that. You know, you're like programmed to be like, I'm great, I'm good.

Oh are you not? Really? I'm man fine.

Understand as the kids would text me me, me understood, Well you don't look me.

Oh, thank you, You're welcome. You look well.

You know, it's so cold here on the East Coast, so I have like a heater underneath me and my chowaway wrapped up in a blanket over there, and I'm just dealing. I'm getting through it, you know. Yeah, I miss Palm Springs, but I live in New York now, and that's what it is.

So is the Palm Springs place gone.

I live in New York and I can't believe it. I mean understand that it happened so on accident. Well it's the I've never done anything by Tory Spelling and my dreams and my dreams.

Understood, you can keep dreaming. But I love it here, I really do. I'm so happy. What did you guys do? With that Palm Springs place. Why you want it? Friend? Just ask you for a friend. I can't believe it.

But it's the first time in since I went to Palm Springs that I haven't owned a place some pum Springs. We really just doubled down on the East Coast. We like, once I realized I lived here, I was like, okay, we're doing it. So we bought like a you know, nice apartment in the city and then a place up state. And I'm like, this is what I'm doing now, this is what I do.

I mean, I just doubled down, doubled down. Yeah, I'll tell you the whole story one day.

It happened on accident that you doubled down, that I moved here to New York. It was a total I didn't mean to, but can you tell me now?

Sure?

Yeah, so I was. I had met my so I always Let's go back to twenty twenty. January twenty twenty, I am in Port of Iarda with my friends. I wake up in the morning, I get a breakfast burrito. I eat it by the pool and there's only one other person up at the pool and I am like, who dat right?

What was in the breakfast burrito. God bless you Tori Spelling for asking that. So were friends and we like the same thing.

I was where I play stay in port of Yarda. There's like a staircase and you walk down and there's like a little breakfast place there called Salute, okay, and so I get it's green eggs and turkey bacon. Uh breakfast burrito. What that means is they blend in like spinach tea.

Kayo. There's a to ma tea on the side.

I get the green sauce on the side and avocado and all that. So I don't want to keep this jerkey bacon. You want to keep going about it?

Or sorry, what was the cheese in there? And then I'll look it.

I think it's like a cotilla because it's not me. It's like, you know, it's Mexico.

Really slow quo, Tia, Like, I don't.

Ember want to talk about sex, but I could talk about food all day long. So I honestly don't think I've ever pleased a woman as much as me saying katiha cheese pleased you right now? Yeah?

Welcome, really happy Okay.

So I met this boy and I was like head over heels, and then the world shut down. We had to like date for six months, him in New York because he lived in New York, me in La and I came to visit him and my friend was the EP of Drew's show. Did Drew Barrymore Show and she had just started it. She was alone in the studio COVID, no audience, like, just her in a camera, and he said, could you come in one day to do the news with her because she's alone. I was like, of course,

That's it, I know. Is that called kismet? Is that called synchronicity?

I don't know, but I think you have to put a saddle on life and write it. And you know, it took me took I wrote it, and it took me here. And then it took me like over three years to realize that I lived here full time and that keeping a place in California was a waste. And really, like, I guess I'm here and I got married and I'm so happy, and so I just doubled down and this is where I live now and I love it.

But it's freezing. I was just there. It is it's quite cold.

Well, you have to remember I'm a Caftan kind of homosexual, you know what I mean, Like I live like an Africa senior, which is why Palm Springs was perfect for me. And so I just lived my life where it was always eighty one degree and now it's literally seventeen degrees.

So what are you going to do? It's just the layers.

The layers aren't as fashionally appealing to me.

No, I mean they hide my lovely lady lumps, they do. But I also, what about this life? Now I have to use like a SPF with the bronzer in it, because I'm so pale and I want to be like George Hamilton.

You know what I mean? I want to be but do you yeah? I didn't? Did I toy spelling? Did I stutter? I want to be you don't lie?

So okay, I don't want to be orange. I want to be well done, bitten once bitten?

What was one spitten? Why I remember this? What was it? Hamilton vanfire? No?

I remember this one bit Jim Carrey's first role. I believe I remember it. Okay, I saw I saw George Halton on a plane once and he was not orange. He just looked like he had been ordered well done. And I remember thinking, that's it. It's very rare to be that well done.

That would be a sexy tanning cream line.

Well done by Ross Wains. Wait, well, you know we're idea people. I mean, but fifty fifty, let's do it.

Wait and then.

It's all titled like you could have rare that's the pail of the shade, I mean medium, Well, oh my gosh, and we put it in like cute packaging almost like okay, wait, wait, how would.

You get your steak?

How do I get a steak I served you or like butterfly, you can get it.

I'm talking packaging here, so not the plate, but like and it's not to go order, so.

It's saran wrapped it with them. It's like wrapped with like, uh.

The butcher's cut, like kind of oh butcher, butchers cut, butcher block you get one with it.

Oh my god, if anyone's listening that has any power, just just let's all make a billion dollars. I'm running it down. I mean every idea I've ever come up with someone stolen.

So well, now we own this one together.

Yeah, copyright it well done, literally well done, Like, oh my god, this is it. I know and I was just about to I just wanted to ask you about klftns in your caft hand line.

But okay, great, God think about it. Well, if we can just be live on QBC OED, we're gonna make so much money.

It was well done. The audience though, yes, well.

I think everyone's the audience for this one of those rare is yeah, because no one can stay in the sun anymore.

You can't, Like.

I just don't want you and I to have some sort of beef over this steak business.

You know what I mean. If we ever have to split the money, well, we'll.

Just put a steak in this. We'll bring it back to George Hamilton once bitten. He was a really hot vampire.

And that that's all I'm saying. I've got to google image it. Oh please do eleven eleven on my end make away.

Oh well, my wish already came true because I'm sitting here with you.

Oh my gosh, don't flatter we keep going. You need more of that these days. So is your anniversary in May?

Yeah, my wedding anniversary. Yes, wedding anniversary May May. What it's going to be May seventh, it's going to be This May will be three years since we got married. And honestly, when I tell you this, it's the best three years of my life.

It's really good.

I didn't get married until I was forty, and I think that that was smart. You know, I haven't made a lot of smart decisions, but that one was because I got to be really picky and I just met the best, best human who is so supportive and really likes me, and I really like him.

And it's good. It's really good. And you're thriving.

I feel like, not that you weren't thriving before, but I feel like when you guys got together, it's just like because it's going to be.

I think too, it was right around, and it was right around when my mom passed away, and in my life since my mom passed away, although like I'm like, of course I miss her every day and I'm so sad, and my dad died about fifteen or six years before then, But ever since my mom passed away, there has been something outside of my control that has been clearing everything in front of me, and I think it's her, I do.

Can you ask her to talk to my dad up there? Then? I can? You know?

But U yeah, I don't know that makes it brings me comfort? Do you feel that or do you?

What? Do you think what happens after when we go what happens.

I'm a very hopeful person, so I always have belief no matter what happens, and I believe in kind of everything, and I do believe that happens. Although I got to tell you my dad passed eighteen years ago and I haven't really felt him, which is really shocking to me. Maybe I was a bummer right don't you And do you do you ask like you do.

All the time? I do? I do? You know? I don't think they get they show up like that.

You know.

I'm friends with a lot of psychics that they find me. I swear like a Teresa Capudo. I didn't look for her, but she just showed up in my life and now we're friends. I love her and say, wait, oh my god, I interrupt you.

Sorry.

She was one that I was doing a show for TLC and I was like at the upfronts and she passed by, and any reality star, I'm like, oh my god, like you get an a lister, I'd be like, walk on okay.

So I'm like, oh my god, freaking out. But I'm cool about it. So I'm just like I'm just saw her.

And then she came up to me and she's like, after the upfronts, I need to talk to you, Tory Spelling, because your dad has a message for you. I was on the island medium like, hello, please.

God tell me tell me you followed up you found her. I got the message.

Afterwards, we only had a brief moment together. Maybe this is a sign I should follow it more with her.

But she said do pennies mean anything to you?

And I'm like, my my bank account, I don't know, like no, no, no, no no. And she said it's a sign. Whenever you see pennies, it's something your dad's trying to get your attention.

Well, I mean there's pennies everywhere.

Well that's so crazy, though, because I see for my dad it's upside down pennies on the ground. It can't be heads up. It's got to be upside down pennies. And I never see heads up ones. Maybe anyway, I don't know.

I don't know.

I honestly I know some things in life. I do not know what happens after life, right, but I like to hold on to it. I like to think because when I talk to Teresa and she gives me something that there's no way somebody else would know, or my friend Charlmark Golis or James Van Prague or all these Tyler Henry or all these people, it makes me feel like that validation that okay, well then maybe they're zooming around, and just that like possibility that we zoo after this

It won't matter girl, you're selling the product.

Yeah, I'm a psychic core No, I'm a little bit psychic, and I can't.

Go with that one. Are you psychic? Are you though? Do you think you are?

I'm an EmPATH, understood, very intuitive, can give anyone advice usually right.

Always have a gut instinct.

Never go with it, never go with it right, I know it's I'm trying to correct that.

Or we fight it until there's no other choice but to go with it. I've done that before. Or there's that yeah, yeah, where you just like fight it until you're in a corner and then you have to do what you knew what you had to do when it first, You know what I mean?

I do I do.

Yeah, I'm so into psychics and mediums that I like, oh my gosh, one's off the street that literally tap on your window. Well not New York but in La. Yeah, you've met the where they're like tapping there like I have a message for you. And then I'm like you do It's from somebody And I was like okay, and then all of a sudden, I'm in like a coffee shop with them, and oh, this one tells me, he goes, He tells, me.

Okay, you have to pay me.

I followed some random man into a coffee shop and okay, I don't even like coffee shops, Like it wasn't even my jam. But and he said, I'm gonna get a cup of water and I'm going.

To put what did you say.

I'm gonna write something down and I'm gonna put a few drops of water and it's gonna turn into some one drop pen on this paper. I'm gonna put a few drops of the water we're getting and it's going to turn into a message.

Okay, don't you think spirits would find an easier way to get you a message?

I'm just saying it was a little complicated.

Yeah, But and then he said, but uh, okay, I said that's great. And he said, can you give me one hundred dollars? And I said sure, And I'm not kidding. I see him like writing something and I'm just riveted, and as the producer in my head, I'm like, this is going to be a great story no matter what. So okay, let's go. Let's go and uh, I'm not kidding. He put a drop of water. I wasn't allowed to unfold that paper till we left. I ended up afterwards he was like, I need more money, and I was like,

Too, because I was like, oh my god. So from now on, here's what's going to happen.

Okay, every time someone approaches you and asks for money, for a fortune, you're gonna call me just to get.

A you know what I mean.

I'm not going to control you, but I just want to advise and and we'll we'll talk it out. That's good, we'll negotiate with the person. Maybe I'm not saying no, I don't just trust psychics who have their own TV shows on TLC. I think maybe there are people in the streets of la who might have some ability, but I don't. I want I just want to make sure that no one's going to suck you like that again.

Got it?

So can we kind of steal intel from the other side as a as a unit.

Well, we're going to start a big business together, so I have to like, have you weigh in on everything right now as a stakeholder? Oh oh, you thinking puns?

Come on? Did you know that not all people thinking puns?

Well, it's a high stake business, you know. I'm done though, I'm done, well done.

Yeah, I just it's a sign of intelligence and creativity.

So well, that's good. I have a puns are what you know?

It's what why I I think why I've been on drag race for all these years is my ability to like pun on the spot.

You know. Yep.

It only comes in handy for one job, and it's that one.

That can't be true sort of but not really any kind of Oh my goodness. So, speaking of puns, I'm gonna go back in history right now, his toy. You're not the only ones that could put your name and things like god, okay, good good. We have a text chain. You're gonna remember this from twenty twenty three.

I know where I was before you even bring it up. I know where I was. I remember everything.

Because our brains think like that. You're seeing the picture right now. You were laughing. I was laughing.

We were catching up because we hadn't talked in a while and you had gotten married, and we were talking all things.

You were in New York.

And I said, oh my gosh, I was congratulating you.

Guys.

You know it was a year late, but it was like I was congratulating you. And I said, and to date in life, you are the only human I have ever offered to have your baby.

You did? You did over text?

Over text, I said, I got you know what. I said, You guys look so happy. I'm so glad you're married. And I said, I love being pregnant. And I said I would only do this for you, and I offered to be your saragate And I said we should call this Saragate Tory.

Yeah, because we were we were saying, if you did it, we should definitely make a TV show out of it, right, uh yeah?

But then I did go back and say, well, no, not just for TV, Like, I actually love being pregnant.

And why can I ask why you offered it to me? And I'm just like, and I mean this insincerity, not joking, but why did you offer it to me?

That's a really good question, because I've met a lot of humans in my lifetime and you were genuinely one of the kindest humans. And it's real, it's authentic, and I always hope that I'm a very kind person, and I hope that it'll be paid forward one day. So I always believe in and I think you're funny as fuck. So and you're a producer, you create everything. And I was just but I would do it off TV too, And I don't know, but I.

Would say when I'm honored, I really am honored that you offered. And I was honored that day too. I was in the back of a car. We were driving, I remember where, but we was in the back of a car, and I remember saying to my husband, Tory Spiller just offered to have a baby for us, you know, And he looked at me, like, what now, what are

Let's play it out? Okay, let's play this out.

Well, I remember telling you at the time, I think I'm like in perimenopause or something. So I don't know about my eggs right now. I might only have a few good eggs left. You did mention that, and I said, but women can carry a baby not using their own eggs. And we had talked about some woman that had her daughter's baby who couldn't carry and she was seventy. So I said, I love being pregnant, and I would do this.

Yeah, And so we would go find an egg and I would fertilize it. You know, I'd have to do what I do, do my thing, and then we would you would get it done.

I get I do it. I do what you got to do.

I would then put the fertilized a I would have a professional put the fertilized egg plant it into toy.

Spelling right, like a turkey baster like, and then you can really shake one like maybe a malachite top.

You would get pregnant. You would start to show. We would communicate. You know, we probably have a legal document. You know, I'd still want you in little baby Chardonnay's life, you know, That's what I'd name her or him. And so I would raise Chardenay twins. Well, there'd be Rose Matthews and Chardonay Mathews. Okay, and so we would we wouldn't co parent, but you would certainly, I mean holidays, anytime you wanted to visit.

You know, I'm wondering how we would alert the press? Oh oh okay.

So like remember Melissa Ethridge and they were like, oh, who was her the child? And she wouldn't talk with the fathers, wouldn't talk about it. And then it turns out it was.

Famous musician yes, yes, blanking on his name.

Yes, Crosby, David Crosby, all of a sudden, like and let's say it would make news toorry spellings pregnant, wud make news? Right, I'm not making news because I did.

I did what I did with the egg.

Member, you're making news, okay, okay's all of a sudden, They're like, what's going on? What's going on? And then you announce who's the father. There's a press conference, Tory Tory. We have a press conference. Of course, we have a press conference.

Tory Tory. Or do we go on your show? Nope?

Press conference the exclusive Okay, okay, yeah, I mean we could do it. I think press conference first and then a sit down interview okay, perfect, yes, yes, yes, they question who's the father? You reveal? I understand what we do. We hold a press conference. Mary Povich comes out, stop it. Yes, do you know how much covers we get?

Thank you? I'm talking.

We're in the corner of People magazine at this point, the corner of the cover.

Do we like make them think? Gets someone else? Like, can you you are not the father?

Yes?

Okay, I think we get Maybe it's like two other two celebrity men and me up there, and it's almost like I'm the throwaway, like huh huh, right, and then one of them goes away. I think maybe you know, and then it's a reveal or maybe there's maybe there's just like we're in a booth with a question mark thing in front of us, and that lifts up and reveals me as the father.

You know what I mean? I don't know.

I will workshop anyway. I haven't said no to this idea yet. We just talked about it. It's two years later. Does the offer still stand?

Yes?

And this is kind of crazy because wow, you're paying for everything, right.

Of course I'm the father. I'm very traditional like that.

Okay, good, okay, good, Yeah, I know you could, but I'm the father.

I want to do that. You know that we've negotiated.

That because people will hear this and be like, like all the Instagram Graham comments, I get it's how can you afford to pay for five kids?

Da da da da dah like.

And I'm like, are you still reading pressed like about me being homeless and RV cool?

I know, I try not to worry about it, but it do you really read the comments? Do you read the comments?

I really try not to, but sometimes I have to because I have to turn them off.

Because when I post pictures of my children.

And some of them are teenes and have access to Instagram and their own Instagram, I see the most horrific things written and the mama bearon.

Me deletes those. I'll leave other stuff out, like.

You know, fine, you can call me Wendy Williams all day long, Like fine, I'll leave that in. But like you write about my children and their looks or their weight, and I'm like, no.

No, I'm I don't even know how you do that. I mean, I'm a one human being with the chihuahua. And I go through and I see I read all the comments and some are not nice and whatever. But if somebody said something about my family, I would just lose my mind and I can't even be imagine being a parent.

You know, will you do that for Chardonnay and Rose? What turn the comments off if they make snarky remarks or just fight back in the comment section? That would be fun. Yes, yeah, yes, of course, of course. So yeah, I.

Loved being pregnant because one it just I felt great. I actually felt better.

Pregnant than I do in life not pregnant.

I had energy, I everything felt good, and I felt so happy, and I got to be honest, I missed this part of it. Humans treat you kinder when you're pregnant, and it's really sad.

I mean, well, I mean that's a big statement. I'm just shocked that you, Like, I can't imagine.

What would I mean?

I think it'd be cool the first time, be like, oh my god, like let's look like look what I could do. This is insane, Like there's something in me that I'm kicking away.

It's so cool when you see them movie and you're like, yes.

I loved it.

And the baby nurse who became like a second mother to me. Her name is Patsy, and she reminded me of my nanny growing up, and I call her my East Coast mother, and she was there for all my babies, and I because the way I was raised, I was like, I am not having a nanny. I am doing all this myself. And then my friend said, you'll want a baby nurse, like at least to help you've never done this before, like to help you. It feels like a very la bougie thing. So I was like, no, she

Basically by coastal like lives with us, just because she's family to me. But she's very intuitive. You would love her. I wonder if the second you said Patsy, I fell in love with her.

I feel like you've met her at something World of Wonder, maybe the table book. Okay, Oh my god. She's a goddess Mother of Earth. She is very intuitive. She had taken care of hundreds of babies. She had six children of her own, who, unfortunately in their birth order, the first three died untimely.

Oh my god.

And the third one died very close to me being pregnant and having Liam, my first baby, and when I heard, I said, oh my gosh, please like she won't and she said something just told me I would have canceled with anyone else and it wasn't because you were Torri smelling. Something spoke to me and said this, this family is going to be something to you. Go to them. Sorry, I'm gonna get emotional. This is your interview, not mine.

He's sleeping with his arms so wide open. Mark my words. One day there's another baby, Ross Matthews. Here we go. Oh my it's a sign Patsy. Oh god. Okay, well then let's do this. Let's go fine. I'll talk to my husband about it later, but yeah, he'll be fine. Yeah, let's get on a zoom, the three of us.

Yeah, I mean no, but no, no, that's where I am right now.

No, think I'm picking up what you're staking down. I hear you. I understand.

I mean also insane because I mean as much as I like, I know you, but like you're you. Do you know what I used to watch you when I grew up in a little farmtown. I would watch you even on even as Violet. I would say, I'm going to know her, I ain't going to know her, and now I.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, did you ever were there things that you were certain of and now she'd had my baby? Were there things that you were certain of as a kid that you just knew to be true and it turned out you were right? Clarify mm hm, So I would like I was in a farmtown, I was a gay cartoon human okay, that didn't fit in anywhere, didn't anything like

But I just knew.

It's not like I wanted to be It's like I knew it and or like I wanted to be on a talk show one day, I want to do like Regis and Kathy Lee. And it's not that I wanted to. I just was like I remember people would offer me drugs and I'd be like, I better not because when I'm a talk show host one day, it could be a picture and it might you know what I mean. Like I just and it wasn't even being like a joke, you know, So I just knew. And I one of the things is like I saw you and I knew

Which is maybe why you're like why me, And I'm like, I don't know, since you just know we met, Like I've just always felt connected to you. And I don't bother you a lot, really don't. But I think about you a lot.

But you never bothered me once, and you which you should reach out more often than I will too. But what if, toy, what if I got to pass life, you and I were husband and wife.

I bet you are a great husband. No, you be my husband.

I don't know how men can go down on women. It would never be my jam.

No.

You know I did it once and once that's okay. My best friend he did it once too, I know.

I also, like, I don't love mushrooms, but I try it. You know, you gotta know you gotta try things to know what you don't like.

I've never tried hallucinogenic drugs. I'm scared of being out of control. Like I'm scared. Well, I'm such like a creator like anything and everything. I'm like and this could happen and that could happen. So I'm like, on drugs, I am fearful of what my brain would create.

Yeah, I've never done that.

Like I see people do ayahuasca and think Chelsea Handler invited me to do ayahuasca once and I was like, I don't wanna. I don't wanna ayahuasca. Okay, so I didn't. Yeah, I'm not into that. It's funny that I won't do that. But I did face the other dragon.

You know what I mean?

I went I went down on the push.

Yeah. Now I just say, no one was it like? It's fine? It was you know what perfectly wonderful coft was it? Did she take care of it?

Was it?

Yes?

Yes, it was beautiful, beautiful. It just wasn't my cup of tea.

I'm sorry, but I don't think the bush should ever come back like it's just it's not a thing.

I think God blessed. If you love a full bush and that's your thing, you should do it.

Yeah.

I am sort of with you that, you know. No, I think we know better. Once you know better, you do better, you know. And not a place to bushes as well.

Hmmm.

So if I guess if I was your husband in a past life, well you wouldn't be pleased often I guess I disagree.

Yeah, I take care of you. I think if you were if I was your wife, I think you would be a wonderful lover. Okay, is this the weirdest interview I've ever done? It's weird.

Nope, I I.

Am not a very confident person. I know I am very smart, I know I'm very funny.

Yes, do you know I'm a good lover? Oh see, I know I'm not. I am not. You would not be satisfied.

Promise that can't be true.

It's true. I'm sure it's true. I don't know what I'm doing. My elbows are in the way. Everything's in the way. Everything, I don't know what I'm doing. God bless, But he loves you anyway beyond. He's so good and he's so so good, Tori. You haven't met him yet in person.

I don't think I've ever met him in person, which I would know you would love me first meet you. I was trying to think when we first met.

So I was tracking it back too. I remember you were on Hello Ross my show on.

E mm hmm, yes, which to this day, I still talk about that vibrating massage chair.

It was great.

It was the nicest dressing room out of any talk show to date that I've ever done. Like, damn, you dress a dressing room like no other.

Well, I'll tell you the truth is but Drew, Drew's great. But I will say like those dressing rooms on Hello Ross. Were we piggybacked on Chelsea lately? So I got to use those because we had production in the same area when.

She was old.

It was it was really Chelsea's. But I saw chairs too.

Yeah, yeah, they Oh my god, and I think I think not, I think, I always know. I know.

I reached out to someone afterwards to be like, can you ask him where he gets those?

Because I actually knew and I had a discount person. I wish I would have gotten that because I got one from my house and I got like, you know, twenty percent off or something like that.

Oh it's good. I still think about it. Okay, So what was the first time we met? So when was it? Because I'm going back to the.

World of Wonder, it wasn't. It wasn't an outfest toy.

This kills me that I got awards.

Wait, hold on, Oh, this is going to drive me up the wall. And we're the same humans, so I know.

It's going to drive me.

Are you sure it wasn't Hello Ross because that was probably two thousand and fourteen. Nope, Nope, it was at Lisa Rena's Belgray in Sherman Oaks.

Look, yeah, it was That's where it was.

Oh my god, I would have spent I have so much to do today, as do you. I'm sure five kids that would have been nothing. The priority would have been figuring this out.

So thankfully I know what I was wearing. I remember you told me where to go to dinner. You told me to go to Firefly. I remember it now perfectly, and that's the first time I went to Firefly. Wait.

Wait, did you say a date? Was this in like two thousand? I could I promise you I could google it right now? Nine or ten? May I googled? You mind?

This is going to have real big numbers in date persons. So if I don't get this, it's going to send me over the edge.

Wait are you OCD? No, it was in twenty ten.

They were shooting Harry Loves Lisa Belgray Party episode.

There it is. Yeah, I can find pictures too. I'm remembering. I found a picture. See right now, what am I wearing? I can't see what I'm wearing. I see the layout. You're wearing black. You're wearing black.

You have a side pony, beautiful, a low side pony to the side you werein black. I'm wearing a jacket. That is a peacoat that I got at H and M. I remember it, and I know I was wearing that because.

I had my store right across the street from Belgray. It was called Inventory, I remember, next to Sweet Butter.

Yeah.

You know what if social media had been like the way it is now, I think there was only like my Space or something. I'm just kidding, but there was a store would have done great. It's just wrong time.

Bring it back. Yeah, brick and mortar, anyone do that?

Oh it is a little still little house on the prairie now, right, little Olsen's mercantile to have a brick and mortar.

So unfortunately, I know we have to go soon. You just brought up mercantile, which is going to lead me back to my favorite word in life.

Go Marcan. Okay, that's your favorite word in life. I'm Amrcan girl.

Okay, okay, we got to discuss this one too. One of my passion projects in life is to do mrcin colon the Rise and Fall of a pussy Wig scene.

I have no notes.

I just think you should do that, and.

Having to like a mockumentary, and it was keep in mind I have had this idea since before kids.

So I was in my heyday, I was in my early thirties.

I was like, okay, and I was going to bring on my celebrity friends. I was going to go into QBC and I was going to pitch it and we were going to film it. Just say we're filming Tori's reality show and just to see the reactions of how people.

Because I was like at the time, I was that's a great idea. Kitten would carry this like bedazzled mercin Can.

We just tell people to market in case we don't know so American and do you want to why don't you be it?

Why? I'd love you to explain it. So it is almost like and.

It brings us back to a beautiful, full bush conversation that we were just sort of having. It's a full circle moment. It's imagine if your pubic area were bald and you wished for it not to be in a hurry, much like a tow pay, you.

Could get a pubic to pay. That's exactly what it is. Now.

That sounds much more magical, yeah and idyllic than the real story.

I'm going to get it wrong.

The time period I always like to say Marie Antoinette times, but I think it was a bit of a different time era. But prostitutes to make money, ladies of the night whatever they were called.

Back then.

There was such an outbreak of whatever was all and rampant down there. The sores they had they would want to cover so much like women would put on a wig. They would make these pussy wigs to kind of on to cover their sores. I know you can look it up. It's not pretty, but they're actually magical if you think about it. And anyway, I just pictured like myself for like Paris Hilton, just like totally naked modeling, like all these different color Mercans and like now I'm fifty one.

I don't know if it really works.

I mean I do love that, you know, the history of markin I also love how that Mercans sounds, how like you know, someone from the South would say American.

You know. I like that.

I think I think it. I think it's a good idea for a documentary. Honestly, Tori, I love your brain. Really really this is something that people I was not surprised, but I am impressed with how you think it's a producer like you really are able to identify something very You're very weird.

I'm so weird.

I don't think people know how weird you are, and I think I really would encourage you to lean into that. Yes, you should definitely make what's the title of your Merkan documentary?

Well, it was going to be markin The Rise and Fall of a pussy Wig, but it could just be marking.

I know it should not.

You should absolutely, you should follow your gut instinct.

And do you like the jerk? The jerk? Yeah movie Martin? Yes, uh huh so and now I'm blinking.

He comes up with this idea, invests in this company and it's kind of like someone gets blind because of it or something, and it is undercorrect. It's been like twenty years since I've seen it, Okay, so it's a little bit of the jerk kind of inspired that, you know. The murkin Like the Rise and Fall, we make Mrkans magical again and celebrities are wearing them and they're everywhere.

I like sign a way. Yeah, yeah right.

It's a great idea, and I look forward to think how much money we've made so far. Right, the Steak SPF, the Butcher Block Brand SPF. Noah, well done. The Markan documentary, Yeah, walkrytok documentary. There's two versions, Our Children.

Our Children Together.

And I would like to leave on saying I can't wait to see your children's book. Okay, thank you so much for that segue, beautifully done. Yes, we do have a children's book coming out.

Okay, we do.

Well, yes, you really want to hear you really won to hear about it? Okay in April, Yeah, huh, April fifteenth. It is This is such a well I just love that this is where the conversation's going. But I will tell you about the children's book. It is cute.

I don't have children yet, but my husband is an educator.

He's an educational leader, and he's super smart, like he has his doctorate and all this stuff. You know, he knows how children think, how they learn, how they process, Like his job is like picking curriculum for children to learn, that's part of it. And I'm a storyteller, and so you know, one day.

We were talking.

We were like a we were somewhere and we were talking about, Oh, that'd be a cute children's book because we'd just gotten married, and we were so impressed by our nephews. His two nephews who are now my nephews, were our ring bearers. They were like at the time, I think eight and ten, and they they took it so seriously their responsibility and they were so proud of themselves. And so my agent heard us talking about it, was like you got to write that down. And I was like, oh,

Well, I am psyched to read it. My seven year old would totally be into it.

So I'm going to send you one. Okay, I wasn't fishing for a friend, I know, but I'm thank you. I'll text you my address right now, the mother of my children, Toy. Of course, I'm gonna say, well, thank you, I love you.

We covered so much today, Toy. Let me tell you something I told you. I put a saddle on life and write it and I really feel like I did that today. I'm going to sing my praises really quickly because I will go anywhere with you, and I feel like we went a lot of places today.

We really did. This was really fun. It really was fun. You're good at this. It's really fun.

And yeah, you talking about like things aligning and people coming into your life and meeting and I feel like this is like full circle.

Agree? Did did I tell you this?

I don't know if I told Drew this? That my alias? If we don't know what that is that you come up with a name. If you are a I can't even refer to myself as a celebrity.

If you are, I don't know. I want either.

But yes, an alias. And no I'm not talking the old TV show with Jennifer Garner. Oh god, I love her and her fake cooking show.

But uh, Drew's name is in my alias. Oh so and you use it when you go and you just the okay, all right? Oh god, it is some weirdo. Go and find me now, No, I hope. So do you know what? I used one of a person in high school that I didn't like. What if they were actually checking into the hotel?

You know what?

It would make me happy because I do it as a power move. It's like I never liked you. I don't like you. You weren't nice, and so now you're the name I use. And it's almost like it's like I made them my bitch.

Thank you.

She's clapping. Tori's clapping, well played, thank you. Think I have someone in mine. I'm gonna make my new alias. I just I think find power where you can find it, you know what I mean. It doesn't hurt anybody.

It just makes me happy.

My alias is just about happiness. And I used to love Drew so much.

That, yeah, I love it. You came on the show and we had so much one will you come back? Please come back with us and have fun.

I love too.

We're in season five right now, season six coming up. We're so happy and you know what that vibe but that show is like it's just like it's amazing.

Yeah, so come have fun.

And then the next time in New York, can I take you to dinner and we'll talk about parenting and what our plans are?

Of course?

Yeah, And I think now I'm not a big drinker, but I think I should stop drinking wine now, just just prepare my body.

Yeah. Yeah, And I think then we'll have one glass of start name or his age, just to kick it off, and then after that nothing well.

In honor of the children, of course, I'll ask your children. I love you, Tori, I love you, Russ Matthews. Thank you, thank you so much.

Bye.