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Plus, they accept most insurance plans. To get started, visit plushcare.com-slaveweightloss. That's plushcare.com-slaveweightloss. BBC Sounds Music Radio Podcasts Welcome to Miss Me. This episode contains adult themes and very strong language. Hello everybody, welcome to Miss Me. Miss Me, Miss Me. This is the meaty drop. I would hope that you do miss me seeing us. We actually haven't spoken for about four days. Is that true?
Yeah, I actually felt what Danielle was like, actually haven't talked to you. Really a week? Yeah, well, I hadn't noticed. I've been quite busy, I've been writing. I was writing all last week, which was fruitful. I had a couple of good songs that I wrote. And it was Memorial Day weekend, so I had the kids for three days and had to entertain them. We did, we went, did a big picnic on Saturday, had some picnic friends in the park situation, which was lovely.
And then on Sunday, me and Marnie made a six hour bolognese, which we put milk in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Two cups of milk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you have to bubble it for like an hour until all the milk evaporates. Yeah, I've had it this. And that was delicious. And then you do the same with wine and then that evaporates and then you put the tomatoes in at the end. And then you leave it for like four and a half hours. And it was delicious.
And then yesterday I went to the studio and they went to Coney Island and it rained before they could go on any ride. So they had to turn around and came home. Just back to the bolognese quickly. Do you do that thing when you're serving it that Jesse, our friend Jesse told me, but he learned it from the sopranos, where you mixed the pasta with some sauce first, serve that then sauce on top so you don't have dry pasta with sauce on top.
I did not do that, but I did post a picture of my bolognese on Instagram. Did you know? And I actually spent quite a long time there. I posted three different stages of the bolognese with its own song. So the first one was patience by take that. The second one was hurry up and wait by stereo phonics. And then the third one was hot to go by the chapel bone. And it took me surprisingly long time to get all of those bits aligned. Anyway, I had many people respond to my pictures of my bolognese.
And quite a few said that I should be mixing my sauce in with my pasta. But the thing is, I always make way too much pasta. Right? Obviously. Does everyone do this? Like, I never get the proportions right where pasta is concerned. It's always way too much or way too little. The actual spaghetti. Yeah. So if I was to pour the sauce in the spaghetti and there was way too much spaghetti, then I can't save the sauce to freeze. You know what I mean?
Because it would all be mixed in with the spaghetti. No one wants to have defrosted actual pasta. And no, what you do is you only do it for every serving. Wow. So it's like each, you wouldn't do all of... Love when you look. And nobody got time for that. I know when I could tell for your face you just got down. Like, no, it's like what we're doing. It's not happening. But I will say, it got me thinking, because the recipe that I use was Marcella Hazan for the New York Times.
She died a long time ago, but it's still like, regarded as one of the best volunteers recipes out there. No bay leaf. And it made me think, what is a bay leaf for? I could not tell you what bay leaf tastes like, but I use it and literally all the recipes. And then people are really specific about the number of bay leaves that one uses in any recipe. And I'm just like, is it just like made up? So the thing about bay leaf says, and my mom says, because she always tells me to add onion to stuff.
And I'm like, I don't like the taste of onion. She says it doesn't give it the taste of onion. It gives it a background sweetness. So the bay leaves are a back note. It's not about particularly tasting the bay leaf. It's whatever back note they bring to the general taste of the meal. So it's like salt. Correct. Seasoning. Seasoning. I understand. Don't patronize me. Okay. About seasoning. Do not. Do not come at me. I'm not one of those white people. Okay. Jesus Christ.
I was also raised by Andy Oliver. So fucking. It's very true. Do not get their spreading vicious lies that I am into unseasoned food. Okay. Do not. I'm some unseasoned bit. Oh, I like those joggers. Where's joggers well? Why do you think I'm looking for a man that does? Because I do. I wear joggers well. I'm really into this colour scheme. What? Maroon and red. You're not trying to talk politics to us through your outfit. Are you? Makiza. I really hope not.
I think you should tell the world about your upcoming political hairstyle. Yeah. I, in the interest of impartiality, we've been told we're not really allowed to talk about general election, but I'm going to die one side of my hair, cut blue. And keep the other red in the interest of impartiality, just to respect those guidelines, so as BBC guidelines. We're going to find other ways to express our impartiality. How do you think we do that?
Do we just say like, hmm, so general election last week, announcement, that's nice, that was surprising. That was a little bit surprising. And it was very interesting how they chose that moment when it was raining to announce it all. And those people were like, Well, I've heard something today that said, why don't you just put them inside? Something else. And they said, if he had an umbrella, he'd be a loser with a brolly. I thought, yeah, we probably would have thought that would have come up.
Maybe he was just trying to appeal to people who don't have umbrellas. You never know. You never know. It all happened. And then we had Kistama put in his two pennies, forgot to say anything about migrations, so threw something in at the end. Incredible. And then today I saw someone from the lived Dems beginning a their campaign on a paddleboard and proceeding to fall over continuously. The metaphors are all over the place. I feel like, Richie Sue-nex, P.R. people really do not like him.
Like to put him outside to make that announcement when they did and drag it out, you know, for a whole day, basically, are they or aren't they? Seemed like a little bit mean. And then to follow it up with his visit to the Titanic Museum. Right. Let's have a listen to Richie, who was coming live to the country from the Titanic Museum. Prime Minister, we are just yards away from where the Titanic was built and designed. Are you captain in a sink in ship going under the selection?
So they did get sinking shipping. Well, there you go. What was that guy that was called like the spin doctor, Alistair Campbell? Yeah. He was called the spin doctor. Tony Blair's right hand man. So what you want about the Blair years? But that campaign was slick. I felt like it was the first time that a political campaign understood that it kind of had to push itself as like a brand and like use marketing and use whatever country was at exactly at that time.
And I just feel like, where's the spin doctors? Where's the glory spin doctors of the 90s who had like, who knew what they were fucking doing? I don't understand. Um, well, I think that that Alistair's got a podcast now. He's busy. Dominic Cummings got fired. Dominic Cummings got fired. So you can't do it. I think we just need somebody's to call up a PR company and say, let's get a strategy. Let's get a real strategy here. What about Gordon Brown?
Do we have the, her clip of Gordon Brown calling that lady a bigot in 2000 and what's that? Hey. So disaster. Well, I just, she never put me with that woman. Oh, everything. She just, this is all bigoted woman. I said she used to be a lady. I mean, she should be. Oh, no Mike still on trap in there. You know, yes, you have. I want to save that for the sabotage episode and listen, bitch. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's quite good for saying so. Yeah. Oh, poor old Gordon Brown. He tried his best.
It was a mess. It everything was a mess. He tried his best. I feel. I don't know if that prompt maybe worked in his favor, though, because in all likelihood, the woman that was saying whatever it was that she said to him was being bigoted and surely calling that out is a good thing. Yes, but that's it. They may have been spun to have been bad thing, but I don't know. What about Kia Starma? How do you feel about Kia Starma?
I mean, he's definitely trying, I think, to emulate that rip-hop energy that you're talking about from the Blair years. What was it called that, Kat? It was like a... It was called like cool Britannia. Cool Britannia. Can you believe it was called cool Britannia? No one like borked at that. The time was like, yeah, cool Britannia. Liam Gallagher and Pat T Kenzo, the cover of Vogue and Blazing Power and British music. But they invited them all to Downing Street, didn't he?
Or to some sort of function, but yeah, I definitely remember all of the sort of bad boys of rip-hop. Only Nolan, make Matthews went to that. Do you think if Kia Starma gets in, he'll be inviting young blood. LAUGHTER I wouldn't expect any nice... Who do you think will be in Kia Starma's victory party? Do a leaper? Rita or... Do a leaper, Rita, and possibly... Take that out. I think young blood is a good shout, quite frankly. Someone send Lily to the PR team.
Honestly, it couldn't hurt at this point. Idols. Idols. Could not. Young blood and idols. I don't know. I don't know. LAUGHTER Picking music for your campaign is tricky, tricky. You know how like you were talking about with your pastor and you were putting up on Instagram, and each section was a song that kind of spelt out what was going on. Take that, patience. I never do that with music on Instagram. I really don't like music that spells out what's going on.
I'm more of like an energy kind of DJ. If I was on the Labour Party soundtracking team, I would do Kelly Osborne and Ozzy Osborne. We're going through changes. It's good. I don't hate it. Because it's such a... It's such a... I don't think anyone remembers that. Far from me and you. LAUGHTER I think a change would do you good. A change would do you good. A change. So Lily's advice to any party, no party in particular, everyone I think could do with her help, is Cheryl Crow, the early staff.
You know what, young people don't know who Cheryl Crow is, and she was like, she kind of like had a... I don't know, black energy to her. Oh, I think it's because she used to talk with Prince or something. So she kind of had like funk, but she was like maybe a Midwestern white lady. I've almost got as many monthly listeners on Spotify as Cheryl Crow. It's quite impressive, isn't it? Oh, that's good. Because Cheryl Crow is a fucking legend, man.
That's good. Right. OK, I think we've done all we can here. We've done all we can here? I think I need to reread the BBC Improciality Guidelines before I can talk any further about politics. So you let me know when you're going to die. Half your hair, red, half your head, blue. If I'd have had time to do it this week, but obviously, you know, it came out of nowhere. I was planning on doing it all along, but I haven't been able to rush myself an appointment at their hairdressers.
Richie's just threw this on you. You know, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that I can get in there before July the 4th, quite frankly. I want to talk about authority, actually, because I was working in a tennis court last week. We were doing a photo shoot that was about sport and stuff. And this guy came in and said, have you booked this court for what you're doing, which was we had like one of those tents that you're changing when you're like shooting around and about.
And then we had loads of clothes everywhere and obviously, like cameras and a crew. And he was like, and we were like, yeah, yeah, we've booked it for this. He was probably right, but his tone of asking us what we were doing and quite quickly telling us it wasn't allowed just incited this rage in me, which I know to be very familiar. Very familiar. And my auntie Debs said to me, well, it's called PDA, which is pathological demand avoidance.
And it's a person whose nervous system can be easily activated by an authoritative tone. And I know it sounds like bullshit, but I do have like a genuine nervous system reaction to it, like it rings like a rage in me. Why do you think I've had so many fights with so many cab drivers? Hard relate. Do you have a hard relate to that? Hard relate. I actually had it on the weekend. I was in the park on Saturday and my kids had gone off to go and do some roller skating.
And so I thought, I'll have a little sneaky cigarette and a cigarette and this woman came like bowling over. After I'd already put the cigarette out, I might add, and said, oh, hi. I just thought you might like to know that it's actually illegal to smoke in a public space in the city of New York. It's a public health, whatever it was. Move from me. Move from me. So you're ready? That's pissing me off. And then she basically threatened me.
It was like, I'm not saying that I might call the cops, but some of these other parents around here might also call the cops if you do it again. So I was like, uh-huh. Can you just clarify that rule in New York? No smoking in any public place. So no outside smoking. No parks, I think specifically. You can smoke on the street, but you can't smoke in the park. So I did look it up afterwards. But it was funny because I was like, obviously full of rage. And I was just like, go fuck yourself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it jobs worth. Just leave it out. Like, who cares? Like, how do you even know that fact that you're not allowed to smoke in the park? Like, what rulebook are you like reading every morning? Like, so you can go up to strangers. I was miles away from anyone, by the way. And it was just like, I wasn't smoking drugs off the smoking cigarette.
And I did, I felt this rage bubble up inside me, but I was just like, this is how I know that I'm like on a journey of growth at the moment, because I was just like, oh, thank you. I had no idea. Thank you for telling me that. And I could see it, see thing in her that I wasn't giving her the reaction that she wanted. And she was like, well, thank you. It's just, it is illegal. I was like, oh, no, you just told me. Thank you, though, because I didn't know that. I didn't know that was a rulebook.
But look at that. And look what you got from it. So actually, the dance between the perpetrator and the accuser. What if you really want to win, don't give them your rage? I do know this. And everything that, when I've gone the complete opposite direction to that, I've ended up getting kicked off trains, kicked out of cabs. But hey, Deb says, instead of calling it, this is great. This is a reframe for us people who find rage within authority.
Instead of a pathological demand avoidance, she calls it pervasive demand for autonomy. And I love that. So that's what you would have said to the lady. You would have said, do you know what? I just have a pervasive demand for autonomy within my life. So I like to do things my way. And feel free to call the cops, because I'm pretty sure they're not going to come here to ask this lady to put her cigarette out on this afternoon, on Memorial Day weekend.
It's funny, because I mean, you maybe do or don't know this about me. But like in our 20s, when I was like, you know, being photographed a lot and followed by photographers, like I refused to go to nightclubs, because I was so terrified of that interaction with security. Because especially when you're well known, there are certain people that really like to show you that they are in a position of power over you. And so people would like to make problems for me just because they could.
And it made them feel extra powerful to be able to put someone like me in their place. And so I just refused to go to places where there would be the possibility of any interaction with any kind of authority. Yeah, yeah. Because I couldn't deal with the humiliation, especially when camera phones sort of started coming around.
Because it was like, I was not going to be stood outside a club with some security card getting in my face just because he could and then people whipping their phones out and it being all over the day, we mail and you know, Lily Allen couldn't get into a club. But do you get as bad as me? Like do you get really raging and shout back? And like, well, like Phoebe along the years has just been like, just drop it. And I'm like, I can't, I actually physically can't drop it.
And that's why we're on the street now trying to find another cab and we've been kicked out of yet another Uber. And I also, it's like a real duality where I like really respect and love people and don't want to show any disrespect to anyone in any job of any kind. But I just, just please don't show any authority near me. Yes. It's something I really need to work on. I do feel that rage, but it doesn't really happen to me that much. How do you deal with your rage, Lil?
Just turn it into self-loathing. No. I internalise it. I internalise it. LAUGHTER Um, I go to the gym and I thought, yeah, I save things up for like, you know, leg day. Oh my god. I deal with my rage in sport. And there is something about, because the great thing about sport, which is where I still want to try and get a racket in your hand sometime this year, is that you get to hit something, actually, with a ball, with a racket, watch. And then your mind leaves the rage and is in the game.
It's a great place. That's why people get it out in the court. Speaking of security guards, have you seen the stuff from Cannes this week? There's been this one female security guard who's been like berating and hassling women of colour as they've been walking up the steps having their photograph taken. I think Kelly Rowland was one of the ladies in question. And Maciel Taveiras, who's a Dominican actress and you know, is a K-pop singer, a man actress.
And all three of them were like being manhandled by this woman while they were just trying to stand on the stairs and have their photo taken. So there's an implication of racism? There is an implication of racism on the internet of saying that, you know, there may have been other instances where she was hassling white women or men and people just didn't, you know, write about it or take pictures of it. But I don't know. I did see one with the woman with the white cape.
Sorry, I was too busy looking at the outfits. It can, I have to be honest. And then you told me to do this one. Yes. Then you said, did you see that woman? The bodyguard, what she was doing. So I had a look and I just thought, she just seems like a Aggie jobs was. Again, I would absolutely like that she took the leg. You would have lost your eye. I'd be like, let me take my photo on the stairs. Well, that's what Kerry Rowland did. She was just like, don't talk to me like that.
Do not talk to me like that. Fair enough. Like, yeah, don't, don't manhandle me. I'm just here having my, I've been invited here to have my presumably to have my photo taken on this carpet. So can you let me have my photo taken, please, rude? But that's the first thing I realised that I say in these moments of altercation. Just don't, please don't talk to me like that. And that is the, that is the first thing you're not allowed to say.
And that's what I hate that the idea is that I can torture however I want. Why? Yeah. The police as well. I always fight with the police, obviously. Oh, the police. I cannot, I cannot. He was really young. And you know, my step-dad Garfield runs like parties and some of them have had like, you know, I've gone into connection with the police sometimes. Okay. And my dad is so good with the police. Garfield just charm, charm offensive. By the end, they're like laughing with him and drinking tea.
And he's like, because I don't need like pick your battles, McGeeer. And I'm like, yeah, aren't you pissed off that they're here and trying to shut us down, did he? But that's not going to get me anywhere. Yeah, there is something in there. So befriend it. But also, I imagine that Garfield as a man of colour with big long dredds and walking through the areas that he's grown up in, he's been stopped and searched by the police quite a lot.
And so I imagine he's come up with a way of interacting with them that, you know, he can, has had to learn how to survive in that environment. Absolutely. When Black Lives Matter was occurring and for just first opening into the world and everyone was focused on it, Garfield and a lot of other men that I knew that were Black men of that age got really, really quiet, really quiet. My friend Phoebe said her dad did too.
And I think there's a lot of trauma in the way Black men have been treated by the police for years and years and I don't think that we even know how bad some of the shit that they've been through has been consistently, I think is the consistency, complete consistency.
And actually, even as you were talking about your interactions with people of authority, I did think for a second, I bet that because of the colour of your skin, you've run into more situations where people have tried to assert their control and authority over you than I have. Definitely in TV and work in my 20s. Absolutely. Absolutely. And that's the last lighting, it does happen, it's real. Fuck everyone. Can we call to action on this one?
No way, because we're still talking about can and I do quickly talk about standing evasions because I don't know, I often read about, you know, Kevin Costner's new thing that he's got with, Sienna Miller, out, received a seven minute standing evasion. And I often read like things that have really long standing evasions in Venice as well. In fact, all of the film festivals, but I just wonder like, when do they start the clock and like, who would you, what happens?
How does it like, dies down and someone's like, stop, are we all agreed? But was that six and a half? Yeah, six and a half? No, seven, it was seven, seven minutes. That's a valid point because when people are like winning things at award ceremonies, everyone claps. And if they're too far back, the clapping dies down a bit and only if you're lucky, the audience, someone's like, obviously we start clapping as they get back up to the stage.
And that's usually that process is about three minutes, maybe four. So to actually sit and clap in an audience for over seven minutes is a strange thing to do. It does never be me. Good never be. We know how much I hate holding things and generally doing things with my hands, clapping this for seven minutes. Also, oh, yeah, the gym, Jesus Christ, that seems like an exercise. I also did that weird thing once.
Maybe it was at your play, but at a play where we were clapping and I thought, it's not clapping weird. And then the minute I thought about it being weird, it was fucking weird. I was like, what are we all doing? I'm like, what? It's a different thing. It's a different thing. But doing the impression of a seal. No, but like clapping is strange. It's strange thing to do. So no, I don't think I can sit and do that for ten minutes. What is your standing evasion for evasion? Sorry, barometer.
Like, what, how good does something have to be for you to be like, okay, I'm going to stand up. That was great. I'm going to stand up. I stood up for you, pillow man. Well, obviously, but that's different because I'm your friend, so you have to do this. You have to stand up. I mean, we did get standing evations. That's probably 95% of the time. But let me ask you this, how do you feel when you don't get it? Does it make you hate yourself and think that the show is weird? I'm lifted.
Yeah, I come off and I'm like, fuck them. The men's people would be like, it was very hot tonight. It was very hot and the air conditioning. Thank you, that's very sweet. Yeah, conditioning was bit faulty. Or like, people have been in the pub since three o'clock and the afternoon. They're very tired, very tired. I mean, you'll be like, yeah, you're right. You're right. I'll see you. You're going to get a surgery. That's a good point. That's a good point. Fair point.
I'll give you an example of that. Sometimes all it takes is like, if somebody in the first three rows, four rows stands up and generally the whole place will go up. So I always just like, why don't we just plant someone in the third row? I'll just go outside and just like pay some, I'd buy those two seats for the whole run and I will pay those two people to stand up and then guaranteed like, you better believe we're getting a standing ovation every show. Invest in the need. Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it. Oh, I thought like maybe I could put like a notice on the back of each chair and the first few rows and just be like, please stand up. Please. I like, I stood up for you and I do it again. Great. I'm going to break. Oh, right. Yeah, okay. We'll go to a break if you want, babe. Have you wanted? Yeah, I think we should have a break. Sure. Let's do it. I had an English friend over last week. We were writing and we got into a lift.
I went to go buy a guitar last week and the guitar shop was on the fifth floor of the building. We got in the lift and he looked at the, you know, the buttons on the lift with much confusion. And he was like, what I don't understand because there's no G for ground here in America. One is ground floor. No. Yes. So what's first floor? Two. So always one behind. Yeah. It's completely mental. I don't understand it as a concept. It's like relentlessly positive.
Maybe it's that thing of like that we talked about in one of our first shows where it's like, you know, you talk about something and people are just like encouraging. Maybe that like applies to what you think that ground floor feels negative. Well, just like starting at nothing, right? Like zero. We're at zero. Whereas in America, you're already at one. You start one. Start from one. Yeah. We're already there, babe. Don't worry. It's very American. Start from the bottom. You start from one.
Mix it. So then it caught me thinking about, you know, things that are different in America and England and the other thing I was thinking. Can you tell me that was meant to be like the main basis of this block. When we first started. So let's go back to that. Yeah. What's the difference is? Grid systems, the streets, right? I like designed here in a grid. So everything is like measured in blocks. So you say like, you know, or something's like five blocks from here.
That doesn't mean that it's five blocks in one direction. It can mean like two blocks straight. Three blocks left. That's five blocks, right? It's cool. It's actually like easier to get around. It seems logical. Logical. Well designed. As opposed to where you going? Romans didn't know what the fuck they were doing. It's all about the grid system. Well, the thing is though, you're going to Well Street in E5 is a riddle. Yeah. To be honest, if you've just got somewhere.
I think Americans find it really confusing as well. Just build this over here, a little wiggly road, some cobbles, year oldy. Like, well, yeah, it's kind of mental. A little wiggly road down here. I mean, I love it. I do love that about our city, but there is no reasoning. I think Americans do live in the land of logic. But they also live in the land of modernity in the way that we don't. When we're in Texas, they're like, this building is so old. It's like 1940s. I was like, oh, bless you.
That's a old thing. So sweet. The other thing that they do here is they speak in direction. So like, quite often I'll be going to meet David, my husband somewhere, and he'll be like, where are you? And I'm like, I'm at Broadway La Fiat station. He's like, on the south side of the North side. And I'm like, what do you think I'm carrying a fucking compass with me? Like, I don't understand. Hang on. Let me get my son dialed out, shall I? Like, what are you talking about? And what direction I'm in?
Why would that be? Why does he need to know? Because that's how they figure out their way around. So it would be like, you know, you'll get off of a train station and it'll be like, you know, 49th Street, West Side, 49th Street, South Side, North. You know, everything's in directions. Like, on a compass. And with the other thing that we don't do in London, but we do do in New York, is that eat pizza by the slice. Can you give me a reason as to why that doesn't happen?
No. And me and Mum were talking about it the other day. What is wrong with everyone, everyone that owns a pizza place? Just do it by the slice. Because hang on. I'm, I, my parents work in hospitality. I'm not just pulling this out of my ass. You would sell more pizza. Absolutely. And you would be one of a kind because no one does it here. But, but also the point has been proven that it's really successful in other places. So, yeah. One slice pizza, voodoo-rays in Doulston, used to do that.
Get your shit together, London. Why is pizza in a slice so much better? Well, I never finish a pizza and a slice you always want more. There you go. There you go. That's probably it. You're welcome, pizza Express. Yeah. One last thing that Americans do that English people don't is pronounce Craig Craig. And, and as English people, I think we all only found that out when Craigslist came out and was like, isn't it Craig? And also Graham. Graham is Graham. Graham. Graham.
And also, it's like no explanation is given. However, whenever like an American has to look at an Irish name like Shavon or Sorsher. Like every chat show that Sorsher, what's her face goes on. They're always like, how do I tell me exactly how do you say your name? It's like, what do I talk about Graham? Or Craig or Sayophan? So, how do you say your name? Shaman. For time I did not know that Sio Panna was Shavon for time I did not know that. You did not. No way. The heater.
I was reading this book. You thought Shavon was Sio Panna. For time, but luckily I was only reading a book. So it was only me and my head that was saying it. Oh, yeah. No, I've done that. I did that with the word ocean, Ockian, for years in my head. I could not get read the word ocean as ocean. It was always Ockian. Primary school, right? Yeah. Obviously. I thought this was a recent issue. Like Jesus Christ. Yeah. And also epitome. Yeah. No. No. Yeah. No. Yes. I do have one more.
It's a, no, not Macaveli. And I've always known how to say Macaveli in a good few. Good for you. That's the good thing about me. It is a tough one. I think I said it once and it really impressed someone. I was like, that's a good one. Cute that in my armour. Quite Macaveli in it, you. No, I need to talk about not Macaveli. But I want to talk about men. Must we? It's see that reaction says everything that about my notes today. Family friend Jordan Stevens.
He was in a bank called Rizal Kicks on his teenager. He's done just so many different things since, but he's always been a writer. But this is his first memoir. And it's called avoidance, drugs, heartbreak and dogs. ADHD. Hmm. Which I also did not clock. I'm doing someone show. It's really interesting. Lil, you'd love it. He basically talks about a particular period of time, literally about six months in his life. And he's changed everyone's names to the point where there was one chick.
It was like, is this me? Is this me? That's me. I tell you the story, but I was like, hmm, she's called Jerry. And he said, I kind of got the impression that Jerry liked it when I slept with her mates. And I was like, hmm, that's me. But always hooked him up with my friends. Just because he's so handsome and fantastic. So he's such a great guy to go by with. This is Jordan and everyone fancy him. I don't know why you would, why he'd call you Jerry though.
That would be not the name that I gave to you. I guess this is far from McEater as possible. Hmm. It's not going to call me Melissa or like anything close to McEater. I thought Jerry was pretty good. I had no idea it was me. I know somebody that got renamed in a book called Pam. Someone that we know, who was referenced in a book when they changed her name to Pam. That was the thing that she found the most offensive for Pam. What a slide.
I think you imagine if I wrote a book about us and I called you like, Pam. You know, I see right through you. I see right through you by the way, but no, I'm Jerry in this book. Anyway, it's not about me. It's just me. It's about Jordan in this book. He talks about a period of time. I won't tell the story because I genuinely would love everyone to read it. But what he talks about is men having space to be masculine, but also men having space to be feminine.
And what do you think about the masculine side of you and the feminine side of you? Do you think about that ever? Because I thought my masculine side was like, my drive and my ambition. I was like, well, why isn't that my feminine side? No, I don't misgender my emotions. OK. What am I doing? I don't know. I don't know if I gender certain parts of my personality as being masculine or feminine.
But I do think, you know, part of the problem with the patriarchy is men not being able to discuss things or look at things from a certain standpoint. I often get into like heated arguments with David because I'll talk to him about something that I see as being misogynistic or, you know, patriarchy or kind of construct and his knee-juck reaction is defense. And I'm just like, you know that this is wrong.
So why can't we just have a conversation where you like the starting point of the conversation is like, you're right. That is out of order. But we did have a big argument the other day and then I texted because we get into arguments about the patriarchy. Wait a lot. Really? Yeah. We do. Usually if we're in a different time zone and I've just woken up and then I'm a little bit grumpy. Well, you get straight onto the patriarchy.
No, but we'll talk about something or he'll mention something and I'll always relate it to misogynistic. So he'll say, like, you know, I was talking to so and so and we said this and I was like, well, interesting. You didn't pull him up on that. And he'll be like, what? And we're like, what? It just seems like really misogynistic of him and it seemed like a good opportunity for you to say something when you didn't. So you're misogynist. He's like, I wasn't even like healthy.
Can you just fuck off? Exactly. He said he was really happy on Sunday because I texted him and I'd said, I'm really sorry if I was grumpy this morning. I'm very tired and the patriarchy isn't your fault. Oh. And then I followed it up with all your fault. Some of it is. Some of it is your fault. Some of it is. Some of it is. Some of it is. On that note, shall we say goodbye and see you next week? I think I've exposed myself enough. We've been vulnerable enough today.
But yeah, you're not sick of me then. No. I genuinely thought, oh, God, she's sick of me, podcast. Face time. I'm sick of the sight of me. No, I'm not sick of the sight of you. Just busy. Just busy. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makisa Oliver. This is a Percephonic production for BBC Sounds. This cultural life from BBC Radio 4, leading artists, discuss their creative influences and experiences. Some girls showed it to us tattooed on a rom.
And I was like, oh, my God, no. Stop tattooing yourselves, guys. With great comedy, I think you have to look for the soul. I felt very invisible in childhood. And so I think in adulthood, I was always trying to prove my worth. I'm John Wilson. My guests include Lily Allen, Andrew Scott, Zady Smith and many more. Listen to this cultural life on BBC Sounds. Millions of people have lost weight with personalized plans for a moon, like Evan, who can't stand balance and still lost 50 pounds.
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