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BBC Sounds Music Radio Podcasts This episode of Miss Me contains some very strong language, some adult themes and some strong, strong sexual references. There aren't everyone's strata. Okay. Welcome to a slightly less exciting episode of Listen Bitch. Sorry. Hey, now... Why is it not exciting? Well, I mean, we still have Billy's theme. Yes. Of course. That's quite exciting. To me a little bit, it's a Billy Eilish theme. So I guess that's a mix. That's quite heady.
But we're quite boring bitches. Sexually? The theme is... King. King. I could not be in more of a vanilla phase of my life if I tried. Oh, God, you know what that means? We're going to have to heart back to some stories of your... I think you are. I'm going to leave it to you this week. Well, to bring the King. Yeah. I feel like we've had quite a lot of, you know, an opening into my sexual prowess at the past on this show. And I don't think we know a lot about yours.
That's bullshit. I talked about never having anal sex. I thought that was quite revelation. Thank you very much. Having never... Okay, so let's talk about some of the things that you have done. We'll get into it over the course of this show. Yeah. Some of the King. I've never done anal sex. Wow. That must have been so brave. So brave. You can be really brave. I put that out there. By the way, you can just call me Lily Vanillee for this.
I beg you, audience, you bring the King so that we don't have to first question please for today. This is bitch. Hi, my name is Nancy. I'm from Florida in the US. And love the podcast. My question was, do either of you have a King that you will not admit? And if you do, can either of you guess the other ones? Whoa. I don't know if this is a kink. Shall I start? Of course, this is exhausted. I'm exhausted already by this topic. What by having to be truthful or think about your kinky shit?
No, I'm just trying to think of when I've been remote. I had one relationship where I kind of liked asphyxiation a little bit. But that was quite... I just like to be strangled a bit. Yeah, yeah. I think that comes under here. I think that comes under this title. I don't know. I think that's quite tame in this day and age. It'sphyxiation. No. I'm not saying it's all fun and games because it isn't. Sometimes it ends in complete disaster. But some people like it.
I don't. I just have a little sex chair. I was going to draw that. Sex chair? Okay, please do pray tell. I need to know about the sex chair. Obviously. It's actually a sex stool. Oh my god. Okay. I can get it if you want. No, that one. Tell us about your sex stool, Mickey. What happens on the sex stool? Oh, fuck. I really can't believe I'm talking about this. I really like going sex on the chair. Wait, so he's on the chair and you're on top. Yeah. Correct.
And does it about that that you like? Is it the feeling or is it like... Is it the look of it from the app? Is it like... What is it? I guess it's the feeling. I guess it's the positioning of the dip when he's sitting on the chair. No. No. There's enough. How is that enough? What are we meant to talk about? I can't use listen to Miss Me, Lily. So I think they've all probably had sex too. It's okay. On a chair. I bet as well. Yeah. Sex stools that count. Good. Move on. Next question.
Not overjoking. Next question, please. Hi, Mickey, it's Ron Lilly. Fabio here. I wanted to know if you've ever been kinkshamed by anyone or if you've been the one to kinkshame. Loving the podcast, by the way. Laters. Fabio, yes, yes. Laters. Hey Fabio! Thanks again and touch Fab. Well, I hope I didn't shame you about this fixation just now. A little bit. But, you know, whatever somebody used to be shamed for everything. No, no, no, but not here. No shame here.
Not in the kink chat of Listen Bitch. Have I ever kinkshamed anyone? No, I don't think so. I'm quite into normalising everything that people have ashamed about and themselves. I had a whole album called No Shame. Correct. And actually, I was talking to David about this last night. You know, during the breakdown of my last marriage, I was very, very promiscuous and experimental and I engaged in... Well, I had sex with female prostitutes. Sex workers. Sorry, sex workers.
It was quite a kinky period, yes. And I wrote about it in my book, A, because I felt like... I sort of lived in a state of perpetual fear in that period of time because I've always felt like I was about to be sort of gotchaed by the tabloids. And so, I knew that this thing existed and that I'd been behaving this way. And I thought, you know, that was going to be revealed. So, I thought to sort of, you know, take a little bit of the power back, I would reveal it myself in my book.
And I did that for two reasons. One, to like, you know, try and reclaim a little bit of the power where that conversation was concerned, but also because, you know, I think that lots of other people have done the same thing. And I think that when they hear someone like me talk about their own experiences in a like non-shameful sort of matter-of-fact way, then it makes people feel better about themselves. So, I'm always, you know, wanting to do that.
I want to do that with my music and I want to do that with, you know, to me, that's what art is, that's what creativity is. It's helping people come to terms with their own behaviour and behaviour that society sometimes looks down on. But, you know, we're all just human, right? We're creating art today with this in which. So, I suppose it's our service to be as open as possible to help people. I don't believe in shaming anyone really. Yeah, no, I don't think I've kinkshamed.
But, maybe not many people have divulged their kinks with me enough for me to have a chance to shame them. Kinks can be quite a secret thing. But I would never, the answer is I would bloody never do what you want in the bedroom or the kitchen or the sextile. Wherever you want to have a good time. It's up to you. I wonder if I kinkshamed my husband because he often quite, you know, asks for things and I'm like, no, no, it's not happening. That is a kinkshame. I'm not like you piece of shit.
How dare you ask me to do that. I'm just like, mm, headache. It's a little headache. I'll just put it for the headache. Maybe not tonight. A little tapy tap. Little. What, a little bit of hitting. Look, it's banking. I mean, I'm not adverse to that. It's not really something that we do, but I don't like spanking. I don't like spanking. It trickens me to wear my grandma used to hit me with the buttons. Okay. All people got licks from their grandparents, right? All parents in a black community.
In the black community we say licks. And my grandma used to give me licks and I used to get them so much more than Phoebe and Theo my cousins. Because I'm allowed, mouth and always go and travel more. And when she came from me with that spoon, I was like, oh, shit, here we go. So no, I'm not into spanking. A bit trickering for me. Maybe you should lean into it, keep a little wooden spoon by the sextal. And make a whole area. Yeah. A little.
You know, to move from a sextal to a sort of sext corner. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, it's a little mckita. Really face the obvious. And reclaim them, you know. Re-claim that spanking. Bring that wooden spoon in, babes. At the end of the term of doing this, me who knows how long we'll do this, we might be 60 when we're still doing this. But I'll be engaging in anal sex. Have a wooden spoon by the sextal. I was going to really change my life, my sext life. Let's move on.
Would you like to ask for the next question? Yes, please can we have another question? Ruby from London. Hi. I love you guys. Quick story. I was once making out with this guy. I was just going to say, whatever, just met him. And he whips out this sudden, like, kink for teeth. And he got off on, like, when you know when you're making out with someone, your teeth accidentally clashed together, which I don't know about you, but I fucking ate it. I wasn't down with it.
I mean, I went along with it because it was just mad. And it was just like an insane experience. But anyway, my question is have you guys ever started to get with someone and then they've just whipped out this kink like off the bat, like, surprise? And you've been like, oh no, this is not, I'm not for this. Oh God. Thank you, Ruby. By the way, is that his kink or is he just like a shit kisser? Well, yeah, because at which point did she realise that it was a kink?
Did he say, like, I've just really liked teeth, by the way? I think he would have verbally said, by the way, come here and make sure in this kissing. Give me your teeth, babe. I'll keep knocking each other because I'm really into that. I mean, like, no. Oh, God. I can't just, I can't talk about this. Why do you find it so hard to talk about? Do you feel like you're going to be judged? No, I feel like I'm about to, like, shame some person that I've slept with.
And this is what they liked, and it's like I'm telling the world, and they, if they've heard or they've gone, friend of them, mother. No, babe, that's being an artist. You're an artist, babe. Like, you know, give yourself the freedom. Shout out, you know who you are. I like to finish, oh fucksake. In my face. Wow. Okay. And I hated that. And I found it really aggressive. And I wondered why a lot. And I didn't kink shame him. I didn't stay with him very long.
Well, I realized this was like quite a constant thing. But I just, I really wondered what it, what, like, when someone has a kink, there's always a reason, right? That's just domination. Yes, exactly. And then I think I was too young to sort of really allow myself to know that it was, of course, about dominating me. But it just, it started to infuriate me, actually. And I think that would be a huge no. I would be like, that is not happening.
How many times would you let that wouldn't happen the first time? I'd like to take that away from my face. Okay. I was with him for a month. Should have said something earlier as well. You'll take your stinky willy out of my face. And no, this doesn't make you more powerful than me, weak little shit. Yeah, that's what I should have said. Have I ever, I mean, someone that I stepped with once pulled out a wig and then a matching butt plug with the ponytail hair of the wig. You're up for it?
No, no, no, no. No, no, a butt plug, sure. That's not a good sign, everyone. If I do what you want. But why would a butt plug had like a ponytail attached to it in the same colour that the wig was? I understand. It's the creepiest thing I've ever heard. But who's wearing the wig? It was all for me, yeah, it would have been for me. I was like, that's not happening. But I like the, I like, you know, I like to match my tops and my tails.
Not literally, but, you know, I do like to match my eyeliner with my trainers, say. But like, not the wig with the butt plug. In the same way. Feel just that. Look at what a kinkunderstander you are. Yeah, I get it, you know. I'm a matchy, matchy girl myself, but I'm not in this particular instance. Can I get Billie Eilish's phone number so I can just be like, like, so much dating us to this place?
I think we've discussed this on another show, but my sister told me once well, her friend Terry, I think it was, told me that she ended up going back to some guy's house and he pulled out a prom dress and trainers and was like, I'm a really big Lilliala and Fann, can you dress up as her? So, Lillie, you actually have been a kink. I am a kink, yeah. You are a kink, bitch. You shit. God, look at kink, look at kink, unravelling my soul. Moment by moment. Let's get another question.
Let's see how deeper, can we go deeper? Probably. Hey, girlies. My name's Laura. I live in East London. I'm going to do my best not to find girl right now, because I absolutely love this podcast, but I know you guys said that you wanted us to keep these voices short, so I'm not going to get into that. So, my question is about kinks that maybe you thought you would never like or never try that ended up loving them? For instance, I always said that I would never use the word daddy in the bedroom.
It kind of freaked me out. I didn't know why people would want to love their dad in the bedroom, but then I quickly learned once using it. That's not the point. And it's quite hot, and I quite like it. But yeah, do you have any kinks that you would not try or any kinks that you have tried and not expected to like them? Okay, love you, bye. Laura, we are. You live in East London, so do I. So, let's share our kinks, and then if you see me in the street, tell me it's you.
We'll know that we've shared something together. Daddy, I cannot. I cannot with daddy. I also really get baby talk. No. These things. I think anything infantilising and parental. I find that. For me, it just makes me, it doesn't turn me on. Really, baby talk? Baby talk. No fucking way. I could never be me. But yeah, I might shut out daddy once or twice, so. Happy before. Yeah. Oh, ladies. Oh, yeah.
Considering what we've said earlier about how you've got daddy issues and that you're always looking for a big hairy daddy, I guess it's just an extension of that. If anything, it's just like immersing yourself in the role. Yeah. Oh my god, I really hope my husband doesn't listen to the show because he's going to just be like, where? Where is this person that's like doing all these sexy things? Yeah, where's this kinky bitch? She has.
Oh, it's like why lying to everyone that pretending that you're this liberated? David would love this. David would love this kinky bitch. So why do you think the kinky bitch has gone? Where did she go? I think the alcohol had quite a lot to do with the kink for me. I don't think before I got together with David, I don't think I'd ever had sex not drunk, actually. Cheese. No. Cheese. It's maybe like morning sex, you know, but still a bit drunk. Definitely, huh? But we call that hungover high sex.
Yeah. Come from sex, cozy. Love it. Oh. It's not a kink, but I love morning sex. Cozy sex. Yeah. Cozy morning sex is great. Is that kink? No. Whips and chains. Kink. Cozy morning sex. Not kink. Got it. Isn't chains kink. Holly, I'm a Jason sex. Is not a kink. That's just... Yeah, but what about Holly, I'm a Kink Traming now. That's just weird. All right. Let's have another question. Let's keep this kinky train moving. All aboard the kink train. Hi, both. Love the podcast.
It's Daniel from Clapton in Hackney. On your subject of kinks, I'm no kink shamer, and I know Lily wants to get straight to the point in terms of the question. So no story, but have you ever felt like a kink being in the public eye, like you both are, do you feel like anyone has treated you like a kink interested to know your thoughts? Well, go on, neighbor. You sounds quite fit, by the way. Yeah, he's ugly, sickle.
No. But, yes, quickly with the questions, of course, it's actually really nice having these succinct to the point questions, but I need the stories as well. So if you could just like fit that in as well, that'd be great for me. When it comes to, what was the question because I did have an answer? Do you feel like a kink?
Yes. When I was a kid, when I was really young, there was this thing called upskirt, and they would get stills of you from the TV show that you were on or whatever, or if it was literally on stage, and take a still of your knickers. I was at 17, and then they would put it on this website called upskirt. There was one year where it was literally just me on the pop wall, so I would just up my skirt. That's still very much a thing, just by the way. Is it? Yeah, very much so.
But there's not like websites dedicated to it, they're just paparazzi shots. It's still very much a thing, but it's actually illegal now to upskirt somebody in England. Well, there you go. There you go. I always get, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable and bit terrified. Always get boys, goes to me. Oh my god, we used to all watch you in prison. We loved you, and I'd be like, I just, I'm like, ray piss and like cereal killers sitting around watching TV.
And that used to really freak me out that they all kind of, Do you know what? It's funny you say that because do you remember our friend Simon? Yeah, yes. He was in prison for quite a long time at the beginning of my career. He would tell me that, yeah, there was pictures of me up on the walls in prison, like everywhere. Like, yeah. Prison pin up. Yeah, it's a bit unnerving. No, I quite like it. Maybe that's my kink. I've forgotten about it. I'm gonna put it in the bank bank.
Thanks for the reminder. I'm the opposite. I'd rather, my profile was a little less in jail in jails around the country, but I'm sure it is. It was very much a T-fall thing. Because I think they let them all watch TV, let maybe in, make to watch a lot of TV at the weekend. I don't know. Recently, I have been posting stuff on my Instagram. I guess maybe just because we've been working and doing photo shoots and stuff. And there's been a few instances where my feet have been out.
I've been getting quite a lot of messages from people asking me for foot content for money. And not there yet, but I'm not also saying no, like, you know, why not? But, and I spoke to, I have a lady that comes and does my nails shout out Harriet Westmoreland and Millie who does my feet from York and they come down to London sometimes and do my hands and my feet for me. And they informed me that I have five stars on wiki feet, which is quite rare.
But yes, that my feet are rated quite highly on the internet. What's the fuck is wiki feet? What do you think it is? A wicket-peed year about your feet. Same as the people's feet. Same as the people's feet. And everyone's rated. So you either have one star if you've got shit feet or if you've got beautiful feet like me or dogs. Do you know what? They call that feet dogs here in America. No way. Yeah, because my kids always say it.
They're like, if like, Marnie's feet and they're, I thought she's like, get your dogs away from me or stinky dogs away from me. It's like an American thing. That's insane. Because if your feet were really beautiful, they're all like yours, like mommy. Nice. It wouldn't really make sense to call them dogs. Maybe it's not puppies. So what kind of money we're talking? Because I watch Kardashians this week and Chloe Kardashian got offered a million for something to do with her feet.
I mean, she, Harriet, my the nail lady, she said that I could make a lot of money from foot selling footwear on my own fans. And I'm like, not no. Not no. Like, would you leave Miss Me to just do foot content for only fans? Yeah. Good. Good to know where we stand, team. Team, we get that. But we'll be back with more questions about Kink after this short break. Do with this short break what you will. Yeah, get Kinky if you want. Get Kinky with it.
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Let's have another question about Kink. No. Kinky, kinky, kinky, kinky, kinky, kinky, Lala, dipsy, pale, pale. I don't know if we shouldn't like mix Kink and the Teddy Tubby's all though. Kinky. Although. Big Kink, big Kink. Hi, Makita and Lily. My name's Amy and I'm from New Exeter in Devon. So girls at work, I work at a spa and they girls at work. We have on a complications looked up websites for sending pictures of feet to make a bit of extra money.
People, men probably who have the sessions with feet pay for photos. We also did actually look up one for sending a dirty pants. I mean, it's a bit too gross for me, but just wondered if you've ever looked at anything like that. For making a bit of extra cash. Oh, look, Dino has just sent me my wiki feet profile. Five stars. Beautiful feet. Beautiful feet, they say. Dino, can you find out if I even have a wiki feet page? I'm assuming I don't. Oh, Makita, I'm really sorry to tell you.
You've got three stars. Okay, feet. Oh my god. Oh my god. Do you know what wiki feet? I really don't need that shit right now. I can't believe it. Yeah, you've got okay feet, babes. It's okay. What about the other day I put in the group that someone had sent British singer actress Lily, or first of all, the person that sent me the message, she said, I looked up the Chloe top that you mentioned in this interview that we did and it had Lily Allen's style.
So I looked, anyway, long story short, someone is selling a picture of your boob for £6.21 on eBay. And then she sent me the link to the thing and there's a photo. So this British singer slash actress, Lily Allen, almost free, nice boob photo. £6.21. Wow. Almost free is in how much it is to purchase. Almost free. Yeah, only six, just literally just the postage and packaging.
But also, I would like to add that I am actually pregnant in the picture and I think that you could probably put an extra couple of pounds on for that because that's the king, isn't it? Like pregnant ladies boobs. Of sure it is. You've got better titty pictures than that out there in the world. I like the one with your bunny ears. Tell me about it. Right? Like come on, that's free. What about me like actually on the cover of TQ with my tits? Yeah, there's some actual official shit out there.
I'm sure you get that for a score for anyone's looking. Last question for listen bitch. Hi guys, my name's Lotte and I'm 23 years old. So about six or seven months ago, I briefly started seeing a man who was a lot older than me. And his kink was very much like control and dominance. And I was like very experimental. I was like, let's just see where this goes. And I was having a bit of fun with it. So, you know, at work, he would ask me to send photos and if I didn't, I'd get a punishment.
And like after a while, it started getting quite uncomfortable for me to the point where if I kind of said no, and of course, it wouldn't matter to him because it was like a part of his kink that he was like in control of the situation. I got out of that situation quite quickly, but I didn't know if you guys had experienced something like that where somebody had a kink and they used it against your power or anything like that. Thank you for sharing that story. I'm happy you got out of that.
I think I just think generally no is an important word in the bedroom. And if it's not heard, it's not easy though. Not everyone is able to say no. I'm not like a big noir. And I think that also, like what I said earlier about me not really having sex without alcohol. It was quite a lot of times when I was like doing things that I didn't necessarily want to be doing, but as I said, I'm a people pleaser and I don't want to, I feel like a deep rooted fear of abandonment.
So I feel like if I don't play the game, then I'm going to get abandoned and rejected. And I think a lot of men really are attracted to that, you know, women that they feel that they can dominate. But yes, really, really thin line between kink and rape. That's right. I'm sorry, but how else can we say that? I agree. I also, I feel like I allow that a lot more in my relationships, but not in the sex part. I have a fear of someone running away and rejecting me.
And so I don't want to fuck up in the relationship. And so I allow a lot of things to happen in the relationship. But I've, I, I, I feel differently in bed, which is quite nice. I'm literally the complete opposite. It is actually switched, isn't it? It's like mirrored for you in the relationship. You are, you kind of don't take shit. You are, you can be quite dominant and you, you know, in the bedroom, it seems that would be slightly different. Slightly different.
Two different Torians in one world. Again, David's going to listen to this and be like, what? What wife? Who? What are you talking about? Who are you? Ponytail on bitch. Who are you? Bring that ponytail butt plug to bed tonight. Let's bring that ponytail back, babe. But yes, I'm happy, dear listener, that you got out of that. Well done. I know what you mean by sometimes it's hard to say no, but also it's sometimes hard to leave things. So well done for just leaving. Right.
Well, this has been great. It's been lovely to see you. Yeah, I'm really glad that we've got that one over and done with. And I remember it. Never felt so exposed in my life. Okay, can we see the stool? Can you bring the stool of shame? Did you call it the stool of shame? If you're calling the stool of shame, you can't see it. No, you were like that you were ashamed of it. So I was like, I want you to embrace it. I'm not ashamed of my sex stool, but I do think I should be able to do it.
Okay, show us the sex stool. I do think I should keep something so myself in my life. No, I'm actually not. Okay, the sex stool. Oh my god. Look at that ductist stool. Wait, look at that. Just got to dust it off. Come, stay. Just got to dust it off. Come, stay. I just got to dust it off because it's a little bit rusted. Okay. Been in the bag, holding magazines at the moment. No, it's a really beautiful old stool. Okay, nice. Yeah, lovely. It's like wooden with like a nice velvet gold.
No, it's not a pea stool. It's a set stool, Dino. It's a sex stool. I'll tell you. So yeah, there it is. I can't believe you made me do that. And because of that, you have to pick the theme for next week's Listen Bitch. Oh, fuck, fuck, sake. I'll show you my sex stool. You set the theme. That's how it works over here at Mismean Towers. Okay, next week's theme for Listen Bitch is... Endings. Ah, I like it. I like it. I think we need something sort of gentle and classic after that.
Fucking kink like that. So let's see where endings take us. I'm hoping it takes us to sort of children's story time. I'm thinking like it's coming up towards the end of term, like end of term, end of a job, end of a relationship, end of a book. Happy endings. Rear ending. You know, everything. She's incredible. The number is 08,000. How do I still not know it? Are you doing it? 08,030, 40, 90, 08,030, 40, 90. She'll be back next week and so will I. Lily, I'll call you tomorrow. Love you, bye.
Bye. Thanks for listening to Mismean with Lily Allen and a Mahita Oliver. This is a Percephonic of production for BBC Sounds. If you're affected by anything in this episode and you want more support, you can go to bbc.co.uk forward slash action line. It's a smear, spreadings for old trade center of its big, big explosion of place. People who knew me, a story about lies. You used a terrorist attack to run away from your mess and fake your own death. And love. Are you proposing to me?
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