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In four weeks, the typical Noon user can expect to lose one to two pounds per week. Individual results may vary. BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, Podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains adult themes and very strong language as always. Welcome to the meaty drop. Welcome wherever you're parked. Welcome. Don't hurt yourself today, babe. The meat drop coming to you from the same location. First time ever. We actually are best friends. So, of Linnies and London, I actually want to see her.
And we're extremely busy. Both of us got, which is great. And so, this is the time we could teach other. And it happens to be a day that we're doing this as well. So, just, I'm in the other room. Let's be frank. We've been working together today. And so, we had to record our podcast as well. So, we've figured out how to kill two birds with one stone. And we're recording in the same location for the different ends of the room. Come on, there is the door. There is the door. It's a big glass door.
I can see you. Hi. Can you actually? Yeah. Not weird. Not weird at all. Kill's the illusion. But we are at your godmother's beautiful house. Yes. I love it here so much. It's quite handy that we're in such posh house. Because I did my first binge of AD house tours. That's architectural digest house tours. For anyone that hasn't clucked onto this incredible land of content. I was like, all I want to do is look at houses. And I was like, wait, and know there's a way to do that.
And then found that and had a really good time at Alicia Keys and Swiss Beats' house. They invite that. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. I watched Ditplows, Ranch, Farm in Jamaica, the other day, very nice house. Sort of like Brazilian architecture, very brutalist, poor, concrete situation is very nice. They're nice. I would like it. I need to like the person that's taking me around, I realized. Yeah, you might like Emma Chamberlain's house. No, I don't think so.
Oh, Dakota Johnson's got a lovely idea. No, really didn't enjoy that one. That actually felt like a set. I didn't believe she lived there. That surprises me. I didn't believe any house could be so boring in character. I'm sorry. I don't like to go to Johnson, but I remember thinking that actually I watched that one ages ago. And that's why I stopped watching. So I was like, they're not real. But Alicia Keys and Swiss Beats were there.
These are the greatest collection of African American modern art in their home. One of the biggest collections. So I was inspired culturally and socially and also architecturally and interior designry. It was ticking all those boxes for you. It was, I was like, this is great. I don't like watching YouTube on TV, but it was, it was nice to just delve into other people's homes. I wish I could do that for a job. Maybe I could do a series of through the Geekhole. No, it's not bad. Shout out.
I'd do that with you. I'd do that together. No. Oh, right. Okay. This is it. This is as far as it goes. Okay. This is enough. Good luck, bitch. In series is my vibe anyway. I think I'll do that one. That's true. That's true. Have you ever thought of doing like an interior show? Yes, I have. I've been talks with several production companies actually. Oh. I might throw my little bringing back Lloyd Grossman through the Geekhole idea of a way. Someone's done it. I think Abby Clancy does one.
Doesn't she? Yes. She's pretty nice. I haven't watched it. No, I know Abby, thanks. I call her Abby. Abs. I call her abs. It's absy. No, grimy nose, honey. I met her a few times in the noughties. I really liked her. She's so pretty and so lovely and sweet. I think she's good on TV. It's just they didn't do many houses that I wanted to see. Okay. So I'm a little bit scared of talking about what I'm going to talk about next because I think it is quite contentious.
But I get a lot of messages from people on social media telling me that I'm not using my platform correctly because I haven't commented publicly on the conflict in Israel and Palestine. And I wonder what your take on that is. If you think that it is essential for you want to use their platform to talk about their beliefs, you know, when something like this is happening in the world, you know, I believe social media to be quite a sort of shallow and vacuous space.
And it's such a serious subject matter that I don't really feel like it's the place for me to talk about what I think. I'm actually not allowed to discuss what my opinions are because we are impartial and we're on the BBC right now, but that's not really what I'm wanting to talk about. I'm talking about the demand that people have the conversation around people boycotting celebrities or boycotting brands because they are not publicly giving a stance to one side or be honest.
I'm always saying to the other day that actually a lot of maybe because of this, a lot of new people have voiced their opinions, unexpected people. I also hate Instagram for this because I think everything gets wildly confused and there is a lot of one side or the other. And what I've been doing in my life is having a lot of conversations about the war with my family and my friends and some of my family who feel directly affected by it.
I think it's interesting because I think in a lot of ways people think that social media mirrors real life in some ways. And I don't believe that I think that the two things are entirely separate. And I think that if you want to implement change in the world and put, you know, protest has always been, you know, really important and really integral in implementing change.
And I just personally think that if you are posting things on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook and you are, you know, taking that off as your box, your activism box, you might be less likely to turn up a process. I think that like people power is essentially what is powerful and is what makes governments pay attention. If there are millions of people taking to the streets for protest, the government have to think about increasing the police numbers on the streets.
There's lots of sort of things in terms of infrastructure that has to be changed. You know, means that the government has to take notice. Mark Zuckerberg doesn't have to do anything if we're all just saying, shouting at each other on Instagram. And in fact, he's making money off of it because he's shooting advertising at you, you know, putting a flag as what your beliefs are and what products you're likely to buy into as a result. So I just find it really difficult.
You know, of course, of course I have my opinions. Not going to share them here because they're my opinions and I want to keep them in my head and I'll share them with the people that I want to share them with in my time. That doesn't mean that I'm not writing letters to MPs. It doesn't mean that I'm not donating to charities. I'm just not doing it publicly right now.
And to be honest, the amount of shit that I'm getting for not speaking up, imagine the amount of shit that I would be getting if I did. And I have children. I've got children and I really do worry about my safety and their safety, frankly, I really don't appreciate. It feels really, really intimidating the amount of threatening language that's used in conjunction with this particular issue. Of course, I'm aware that people are suffering. Of course, I'm aware that people are dying.
Of course, I'm aware of what's going on. The fact that I'm not talking about it on Instagram doesn't mean that I don't care. No, I completely understand that. I also think that it is important to see for me to see some of the imagery that I saw last week. And if people weren't posting so vigorously and continuously, I might not have seen some of the stuff that I've seen, but it did just make me feel more helpless. But that's kind of how war can make you feel.
I think that social media is great for awareness. I don't think it's great for implementing change. So yes, exactly. That's why I just worry that social media takes away discussion, all sort of like people in rooms trying to actually implement change. I feel like we have to be together to do that, like touching each other, looking each other in the eyes, rather than, as you said, okay, done, all done. Yeah, all done with that one. I've done my bit. I've posted three times today.
That's what happened with Black Lives Matter. I'm sorry, but Jesus fucking Christ, that black square got so misused. That was the, it just became this ticking box black square and everyone was, there was something people that was so proud of themselves for posting that within six weeks, but to all who cares. I'd like to say that I didn't post the black square. Good. I mean, again, it was about awareness, but I just, there were a hefty amount of people that I knew were posting it.
Who didn't give a shit? It's just, I use social media for like, you know, self promotion and like vacuous, like rubbish, like narcissistic stuff. I'm not on social media crying about like my relationship troubles or do you know what I mean? Like anything that's like serious or has me dead. It's not happening on social media. Anything that's fucking real will not be over there. Yeah. So you've had quite a lot of that, have you? Oh my gosh, so much. So much.
People, I'm unfollowing you because you haven't said anything about Palestine. Yeah. Okay. Fine. Should you work Trump being guilty? Yes. On 30. Four counts. 34 counts. 34 counts. How can you imagine an actual bellon? I know of a president. Is there a possibility that he could still be president? Absolutely. Yeah. Really strong possibility. What's the tone in America like now? I mean, it's only just happened, but how does it feel over there knowing that he could still run?
I mean, as somebody that has a podcast on a BBC, it feels like a fact. It feels like a fact of life. And something that, you know, is just reality. Oh, wait. Did you hear about Donald Trump farting in court? No. Oh my god, fantastic. Apparently, like, the people that were working for the defence tried to like file the emotion of it being like a toxic work environment because he was farting so much. I couldn't focus. I couldn't concentrate. Not just a... Oh my god, I'm embarrassing.
Just continue. No, continue farting. No, continue farting. Trump was trumping. That's a sign of bad health. Okay. I don't think that's the first sign. It is. It's a sign of having bad insights. Well, like he looks so good on the outside. You never know. He's really masking it. Well. I feel like he knows about to have a nervous breakdown. Luckily, he's so bloody gorgeous. It doesn't matter. It would be even if he continues to fart. What a summer it's going to be. A summer of politics.
We should get some whistles. Dishy, Rishy and Grumpy Trumpy. Who said that? Don't you know? No, that was just me. I just came up with that. But quite like a second. Dishy, Rishy and Grumpy Trumpy. That was so. Has anyone in the world said Dishy, Rishy? Starmer drama. Dishy, Rishy, Grumpy Trumpy. Biden's right. Biden's right. If you will, if you will ask us to be impartial, we will just arrive. Oh, and Nigel Farage is standing for parliament now. Excuse me. No, it's not just Starmer drama.
It's a barrage of Farage. Unstoppable. Yeah, you're right. Fucking album. This is your new role. This is your new job. Barrage of Farage. Starmer drama. Biden's right. Grumpy Trump. Dishy, Rishy. Dishy, Rishy. We need two more for the Seven Dwarfs. Guess what we're going to do? We're going to take a break. I think we're in a great place. We've just started rhyming politicians' names with their new vibe. No one's doing that. We're turning to take a mail. Daily mail headline writers.
Join me after the break for more Starmer drama. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those owners to your contracts, they said what the fuck are you talking about? You insane Hollywood ass. So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month.
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Maybe it's because I'm 40 and you're not 40 yet, but there is something about now where you go, if I was going to completely change what I want to do in the world, it probably be now. And I was thinking, what could I do? Like, how, how much could I change? Well, I don't know if it is now. I feel like because I did have this thought when I was probably just turning 30 and I thought I'd quite like to maybe go into architecture or the legal profession or medicine.
Then I thought, by the time I graduate, I'll be 40. So maybe even later, then it just seemed like a bit long. A bit long. A bit long to land the actual skills of being a lawyer. I would really enjoy it. I'd love to be a lawyer. That's what I mean. I think I'm going to start some courses. I actually think I'd be quite a good policeman. What? Yeah, I don't want to be like, you know, just like a Bobby. Like, I'd like to be like a detective, you know? Oh, well, of course.
Yes. Yes. I think I'm a good detective. A good detective. I'm very suspicious of being a very intention. You're just suspicious enough. But also, you like the hunt of like, you always try to solve things and find out like the background of why something's happening, how it's happened, I think. I mean, I do watch quite a lot of the sexive series and I've always like, I mean, David, because he, you know, David is like my husband as an actor.
So he reads a lot of scripts and he understands like plot and writing in that sense. But he's not very good at guessing why like bits of information have been planted somewhere whereas I can always tell and was like, mm-hmm. Okay. This is David. He's like, no, that's too obvious. I'm like, okay, watch, watch, babe. And I'm always fucking right. Always right. It's that detective reading you. I don't think I could be a very good detective.
You know, obviously, I'm trying to write this thing about a detective and I started doing all the research and I was like, I don't think I can write this because it's too gory. My cousin Sasha was like, you have to get dark and you have to go into crime and think about, you know, why people commit crimes and think, and I was like, I can't do that. This scares the shit out of me. Well, not only that, you have to really understand the legal process, which is very complicated. Oh my god.
And in terms of, you know, like how, you know, police and detective divulge information to victims of crimes because when victims stand up in court and have to give their evidence and evidence isn't allowed to be like compromised in any way. So it's the way in which like information is shared is very, very important and it's not a straightforward. You learn all that. Like, I don't know when I was stalked when I had my stalking case. Right. Yeah. Because there were things that they knew.
They weren't allowed to tell me because I had to feel witness. So when I came off of the, off of the witness stand and I went into a room and they said, oh, now that you've given evidence and it can't be contaminated, we can tell you that he said that he wanted to put a knife through your face. Right. And I was like, wow. So you had that information when you decided that you didn't think that it should be stalking and that it should be a robbery. Interesting. So, yeah.
So you sort of sort of saw what you're told and what else there is to know. Yeah. Exactly. You'd be great because you've had so much darkness. I think you wouldn't be scared of a little bit more. No. Bring it on. Bring on the darkness. Bring on the foggy darkness. You know that my great grandfather was a detective in Antigua. Shut up. Yeah. He was a brilliant detective. I mean, I should really see this way. I should write him. Yeah. Write a story about him.
He was like revered and he was a black man, obviously. He was from John Manica and then they brought him over to Antigua because he was so good. My uncle John is a brilliant storyteller and he's 92 and he still here to tell us all these stories. And I listen. And my great grandfather was always very celebrated for the way he could solve anything. He had this like genius mind. Right. And that's trickled down to me. But I was thinking a lot about. Yeah. Yes, it has. Oh, got a stop here.
She's a genius. You think I could crack that case? You think I could crack that case? Yeah. I'm wondering if I really needed a case solving. I don't know if I'd be coming to DI Keats. But maybe. Who would you call? Who are you going to call? Phoebe. Do not say Phoebe. She's a God detective mind. It's funny. It's funny to talk about ancestral vocations, I guess, is what we're talking about. My granddad on, well, both sides of my family, my mum's dad worked in Doc Yards in Port Smith.
And my dad's dad was a submariner. But there's a lot of naval shit going on in my family. Submariner, can you imagine? What period of time are we talking? The 30s. Long periods of time. I guess like late 60s. I mean, that is my idea of absolute hell. Like months, not only at sea, but I hate the sea. Not a little, little lone fact about me. Hates the sea. Interesting, considering so many family ancestral paths were naval. Yeah. And would spend months and months like underwater in a submarine.
So what's trickled down to you for two hours from the people before us? Well, I think maybe from like naval, like always like being on the go. And I mean, I think as I would do love my home, but I'm also like quite happy to lay my head anywhere, you know? I can pretty much sleep anywhere. I love to travel. I don't really like being in one place for too long, like me on my toes. No magic, even. Yes. You can be quite no magic.
And then on the other side, because also the reason I've been thinking about this obviously is because I have my Scottish family and my life. Yeah. Basically my sister got in touch with me probably about nine years ago and on Instagram and said, I'm your sister, do you want to meet up? And I was like, yeah, absolutely. And then we got very close. And then that led to me and my diet getting touched again. And that sort of went on for a few years.
But then I decided to go meet everyone in Scotland. And now I have this big Scottish family. And now all this ancestry that I'm really interested about. Because the way they talk about it, we were kings. We were kings. And I got given a book the other day, which was like the history of the Bailey Tartan. And it was like, these are your people. I haven't read it yet. I'm the first page. And I was like, whoa, like, so deep.
And I was just thinking like, what does it do for a life to know more and more? Like, can you go back even more? Do you know what was going on in like the 18th century in your family? No. Oh, you want to know? No, don't really care. In who you are and where you're from. I just feel like I've been on my own. I'm trying to forge my own path into the future. I don't really need to like look back. Yeah, but hello, you only know where you're going if you look at where you've come from.
Well, how do you write that out? Someone said it. Yeah, probably Oprah. Cool. I've been asked to do one a couple of those like TV shows like, who do you think you are and that stuff? And I don't know what I just, I don't know. I think I'm a bit scared of it. Yeah, and there it is. It's okay. Just a little bit scared. Yeah. All right, bye. I'll do it on my own. Do you want to talk about crafts instead? When will you let me talk about crafts? What is happening with crafts? Is it on?
Okay, first, let me show you what I found out about the relationship between man and animal. Okay. Caveman, right? I found out that the animal has been opened up, discarded animal heads to gobble up the fatty nutritious energy rich brains. In addition, animals bone marrow, also fatty and energy rich, was likely an important food source for scavengers. Researchers theorize that these additions to the diet fueled the evolution of modern humans. Without animals, we wouldn't be who we are.
Wow. So like, we are animals. They are in us in the evolution of us because when you have a dog, people are constantly talking about, oh, but they've been domesticated. Yeah, but they've been domesticated to do that. And I was like, what, so what we're saying is these were wild, crazy animals and we made them, we continue to breed them to be lap dogs and cute and love us.
I'm actually asking, you know, in the 70s, people used to walk up and down the king's road with body states, they're not lackeys, you're right. Besides they startedably becoming smaller. They've grown up Pred火. They've grown up, obviously, megabonds, they're not stilts, they're not stilts. I can't believe, I can't pull them down, I can only fall on it.
But maybe very tiny, there's golf trees and doggo Color tiles and dogs differently, but sometimes they get dug out to hunt OBJECND, might want to jump after a 30 second break. What? They were like, do you have a ginger tommorow cat? She's like, yeah, they were like, he's in class nine. They were like, what? Still the answer took off here. He's like, cat had followed the kid to school. But why did you get a cat? Because obviously that
doesn't, she, she ain't going outside. So that doesn't take you out into the world. What do you get from her inside? You look cozy up. You have a little cozy up, a little shmoujnum. I can get, I've tried to talk about this in public before and I've got in trouble. I got a cat because my daughter really wanted a cat. But the benefits of having a cat is that she makes sure that there are no vermin in my house, which is a big problem in New York.
Yeah, that's not bad thing. Did you get in trouble saying that? Yes, people don't like the idea that you get a cat to serve a purpose rather than to provide it with a, you know, stability enough. See, I feel like in the 80s, so 70s everyone's going over cheaters and leopards. And then I feel like in the 80s, maybe people
had cats for a use, you know, a lot of poverty, a lot of vermin. And then in the 90s is when it became this thing about, look at my lovely accessory and also love me, love me, love me, love me, right? I'm asking. I don't have the fucking answers, Nikita. I'm the same age as you, actually, I'm a younger. But I wasn't around in the 80s studying the relationship between human and animal domesticated animals. That wasn't me. Was that not you?
No, that wasn't me. So, I'm literally carrying out a survey of the UK aged five. Why do you have a catch? But no, but I just mean like it's, I didn't have dogs when I was a kid. We got scout when I was 30. So I'm quite new to the idea of having like a dog in the family and now a dog of my own. And it's just, just wonderful. I wish I did it earlier. And it crafts. So how do I get in to crafts? Because it's not every year, right? Are you going to
try and enter Zedi into craft? She's ready. Wait a second. But I don't think you can because she's not pure bread. Is she? What's her certificates? Look at her. How dare you? How dare you? She's two cockers in one. Yeah, but have you got the paperwork? No, then she can't be in crafts. Well, I'll get the paperwork. They were very lovely. No, it doesn't work
like that, babes. Do you mean that? I'll find out if she's pure, pure breed. And if she is, if she was pure breed, you would know about it and you would have been given those papers as soon as you got the dog. Like it's a serious thing. It's not the kind of thing where you just like go find the best certificate. So wait, only pure breeds are in crafts. Yes, that's the whole point of it. Oh God. I don't know whether that's an institution I want
to get behind. It's quite colonial. It's a bit colonial. Only pure breeds. So my Zedi not good enough here. My Zedi not good enough. She's so obedient, though. And because she's a cockerspan, your show, it's in her to be a bit like obedient and showy offy. Not precocious. She's just like obedient and can do a mean little trick. But anyway, okay. We'll be put her into some other show that aren't crafts alternative crafts. Yeah. I met
her mum. She was a cockerspan, you'll call Penny. I didn't meet the dad, but the way Zedi looks, I don't think there's anything else going on in her. Good luck. See what we're bowling up to the crafts lady and being like, her mum's called Penny. She comes from a lovely family. She's a cockerspan, your show. I promise. I met her mum. She's called Penny. As of 2016, the English cockerspan, your has been the most successful breeder crafts.
Boom. Oh my God. We're going to be champions. That's not even what yours is. Yours are cockerspan your show. Either. Is that not different? English cockerspan, your as me. Okay. Oh my God. That's a good sign. Warded best in show seven times. Zedi, get ready for glory. Okay. That's enough dog chat. All right. So Trump crafts. I think I'm here today. On that note, I'll see you guys on Monday for a listen bit. Oh no, I'll see you on Monday. I'll see you.
Will you? No. I'm not sure. Better bring it. You better bring it on Monday. This on the pitch. I always bring it. We are talking about ghosts on this week's This and Bitch. We are talking about ghosts. Yes. Can I just say on the subject of Listen Bitch, I know that I asked for voice notes and I'm very grateful for people responding and for sending in there. Well, not always questions. And that is the little bit of beef that I have and
what my new demand is that please try and limit the length of your questions. I'm not really interested in stories because I can't really respond to a story. But I can respond to a question. Oh, don't cut off stories. I like the stories. A little mix of both is a perfect little combination. Okay. You can send Makita your story. You send me a question. Okay. And we're having a cap of one minute. Okay. So you can set your little stopwatches.
In fact, you don't have to because it tells you when you're doing the voice. Now, how many seconds you're on. So can I just say don't take this personally world. She's like this with me. I feel scared to send more than usually 15 second voice notes. And I always start with I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's an voice note, but exactly. And I'm actually going to cut you off there. We're going to end the show. Okay. You've got power. Love you.
Yeah. I can't wait till Monday. It's going to be a good year. It is. Thanks for listening to Miss me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephone Acquired production for BBC Sounds. Let's take a journey back to 2003. Canadian teen sensation Avril Lavigne was topping the charts and turning the music industry upside down. Boss, what if I told you that the Avril Lavigne we know and love might not be the same Avril? What?
It Avril died. Was she replaced by a doppelganger? I'm a shewamaknadi and I'm doing a deep dive into an notorious internet conspiracy. Who replaced Avril Lavigne? Listen on BBC Sounds. Whether you're a morning person or a bedtime procrastinator, everyone deserves a mattress that works for their style. And you'll find the best mattress for you at Ashley. The new Temporadop Collection at Ashley brings you one of a kind body-conforming technology, making
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