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for those who qualify. Take charge of your health and speak with a board certified physician about a weight loss plan that's right for you. Get started today at plushcare.com slash weight loss. This episode of Miss Me contains very strong language and adult themes and possibly lily murdering mosquitoes out of nowhere. Hello, I'm in Greece. Wait a minute. You're my little goodgibu and I'm your teddy bear. Together we are goodgibu, goodgibu, goodgibu. Film? Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?
Correct, correct. A slightly niche scene from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. It's still an important scene. Port part of the narrative. It's like a kinky-kinky and queen. They are quite kinky and it's when you realise that they have like a truly fucked up relationship. Dark Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Anyway, how's Greece? Greece is a total revelation. I've never been to Greece. Me neither. And I don't know why I haven't been because I'm literally never going anywhere else ever again.
What is it that's so great? It seems to be pretty empty for a star where I am and I'm not going to tell you where I am because I don't want people to know. But I'm in Greece on an island and me and the girls have been getting up every morning at like 8.30 and just going to these beaches and they've been like three other people on that whole beach. Oh my god, the dream. And the water is completely clear.
I haven't seen one jellyfish which is my like big sea nightmare. I hate jellyfish. Do you know why I hate jellyfish? I'll tell you my little trauma of jellyfish. Once upon a time I believe we're in Malta. We, you know me and my family. I think we're in New York. We weren't, yeah. Well, actually I don't think I was because I don't think I've ever been to Malta but for some reason it's saying Malta in my head.
And I swam into a swam of jellyfish and I was very little and my dad pulled me out and pissed on me in front of the whole beach without any explanation. Oh, so imagine being a small child and being in extreme pain and then your father just taking his dick out and reeing on you in front of a whole beach full of people.
As usual, thanks Keith. Well, I love that that's what you do only from the friends episode where she's like you have to, it's always like you have to pee on it and they're like, oh gross. So I don't know whether that had come out yet. Okay, well I didn't know why my dad was peeing on me but it seemed pretty unfair after I'd been stung by a large amount of horrible, horrible sea-threw fish like jelly.
Anyway, they're not here, which is great. And we love snorkeling. We've seen these like rare rainbow fish while we've been snorkeling, which has been great. We went out for a day out on the boat. There's been much sunburn, both my children are very, very sunscreen resistant. Shall we say? Have they been burnt? Do they know what it's like to be burnt? Oh no, they are burnt now. They are burnt. Oh, okay. They're currently burnt.
They, Marnie specifically, the two things she hates more than anything are being sunburned and having lots of mosquito bites. But what she also hates more than anything is sunscreen and anti-maskito repellent. She hates having like the like greasy stuff on her skin. She absolutely hates that. Quite a challenge for her being on holiday in general. So she literally just looks like a clumsy beekeeper lobster hybrid.
I'm so red. Is she dressing like clothe fully clothe covering all her body to protect herself from the sun? No. I mean, I've been obviously, I've been like following her around with the like aerosol one because it's like the least offensive. And she's just like, get up here, get up here. What am I going to do? I mean, I'm trying my best. But it's not really letting me help them. But anyway, we're having a lovely time and absolutely lovely time.
I'm so happy that you guys are there. I was meant to be talking to you from my holiday. Yes. I was meant to be an antiga. But I'm not. I'm still an acne. Just wondering where my holiday is. But it's coming. It will come. Next time I talk to you, I will be an antiga. But I had a very like London town week last week with work and including going to the Royal Academy summer exhibition. Which is like, I know, just quite fancy, isn't it? I'm quite fancy, obviously. I was quite lardy, dara for me.
You know why I went. I went because it's been going since 1769. So that just intrigues me immediately. Steeped in history. But also it's great because it's, I think it's the world's oldest open submission. So anyone can enter, there are. And it's kind of bred a lot. It's not just a party. It's important. And I had a really good time. I went with Ellie who I worked with and we sort of just went in to see all the beautiful work. But there were a lot of different people there from London.
Lots of different writers, actors, singers, wonderful people. And, oh god, I just fucked up. And it's been sitting with me all week. I basically, I said the wrong thing to someone I really wanted to say something that was intelligent and smart. And I knew what I wanted to say. I said he smith as well. I'm all the people. It was a decent. So I was a bit star struck. I've been listening to her this cultural life, her interview on this cultural life. That brilliant BBC show that you did.
And I've been listening to her to go to sleep, Lily. She's been like my lullaby. And she was talking about her brilliant new book, The Fraud. She talks about Northwest London, obviously places we know very well, Kilburn, Willston, Kenzal Rise. But she talks about them in like the 18th century. So they're their villages and they're a field. And it's just for me that is like so exciting to me. What did our area look like 200 years ago? This might not get you like it gets me, but this revved me up.
And that's what I wanted to talk to her about, the history of London. And how what we see if we look a little deeper, everything we see tells a different story. But no, I just panicked and said to her, I've been listening to this cultural life. And she went, okay. And then I said, I thought was really interesting what you said about aging, which is not what I thought was interesting.
And then I sort of had this quite face value, slightly shallow conversation with Zadie Smith about aging that I didn't want to have. And she sort of, she glazed over. And I really wanted to be like, no, no, Zadie were very much equals. Very much thinkers. I want to talk about historical references in Britain, but I fucked up. No, I know. It was embarrassing. But the art was good. It was lovely to be at the Royal Academy again, because I love old buildings.
So I was very much looking at the architecture of the Royal Academy. It's such an extraordinary building, don't you think? Yeah. I went to that event a couple of times, haven't been for a while. It's quite a bought something there once. Oh, that's classy. Yeah. That's who I wanted to be. I can't remember the name of the guy, but basically the picture that I bought was like of three different views from bridges in London.
Oh. It was just like an etching, like a drawing, but it was quite big and it lives downstairs in the basement in my house. I really love it. You decide what art you're going to buy, because people say that it's just like a feeling, right? Like, I know what I like everywhere. Food, music, film, people, stories. I know what I like. But with art, I'm like, I don't really know what I'm meant to be looking for. But then I like, see old Francis Bacon. I'm like, yeah, this I like.
Basket at this I like. Rembrandt. This I like. I think you just buy what you want to see on your walls. That's the only ever a metric that I've gone by. What do I want to look at? Yeah. If you feel drawn to something and you can afford it, then you know, buy it. I actually bought these two paintings for not very much money. I think in about 2009 at Freeze Art Fair by this artist called Shara Hughes, who's now become...
Yes. ...really successful in her art cells for like millions and millions and millions. And I frequently get messages DMs from people on Instagram from Art Dealer's and stuff saying, can I buy your Shara Hughes's for like a quite extortion at amounts of money? And I bought them for really not a lot, like 15 years ago. So that's quite a thrilling part of buying art to be part of kind of like the journey in the history of an artist. Because everything's a risk, right?
It's like, this makes me feel good, but I don't know what journey this artist will have. And then suddenly they blow up. Yeah, but I've never sold a piece of art either. Like everything that I've ever bought is something that I've, you know, wanted to keep. And, you know, I've never even really been interested in asking people how much they are offering. Like, I like the pieces of art. I mean, I'm not saying, like, listen, maybe we'll come a point in my life where I need to start selling things.
Yeah, it's keep where you have to live off it. And we can have that conversation. But right now, I'm okay, and I like my investments. But they're not really investments. They're just like things that I've bought for my house. Yeah. I think that getting involved in buying art is great. And I don't think necessarily just because you want to turn a profit.
Or, you know, I don't think that when you go and look at things, you should be thinking about, you know, are you going to make money on this in the long term? I think that it should be about what you want to see on your walls. And I think it's a truly enjoyable thing to get involved with, yeah. Yeah, I wanted to basket. And I was like, well, that's not going to fucking happen. And then Lauren was like, my off-friend Lauren Jones is a wonderful art curator. And she was like, just get a print.
I was like, oh, right, yeah. And now I've got baskets crowned above my bed, bitch. When I go to New York, I'm going for our friend Phoebe's art show at the sculptor's gallery in Queens in New York. And I was like, oh, God, the hell's the art seem like in New York? I feel like that's going to be like quite serious, kind of uptight, a lot of money, and a little intimidating. You know, I think if I was stepping into the YBA glory art days of your in the kind of earlier, well, no, that's early 90s.
Was the YBAs early 90s? You know, the young British artists, actually, they're kind of intertwined through our family, some of them, Damien Hurst and Matt Colescher and Sarah Lucas, Tracy Eman, Angus Fairhurst. Yeah. And I watched this great, I watched this brilliant documentary. It's so badly named called The Bad Girls and Boys of the British Art Scene for Channel 4. And your dad narrates it, actually. And it was really interesting seeing kind of what the art world looked like before.
They bulldozed through. And the kind of, just the fact that they just had instinct and put things into action. I guess they, a lot of them ended up becoming multi-multimillionaires, but at the core of it, was a very kind of grassroots old school sensibility of like, let's just make our shit and then build galleries and put them out and do parties our way. Like quite punk, I suppose. I wish I was in my 20s for the YBA time. They knew how to party. That's all right. Our parents did it for us.
That's true. They were there for us. I'll never forget waking up at a boarding school that I went to on a Sunday and walking into the dining room and there being the Sunday papers. And I guess one of them was like it must be, I think it was like the Telegraph magazine or something. And there was just a picture of my dad and Damien Hurst. And I think Alex James, all with their dicks out with a couple of sheep on the cover. I was like, that's cool. That is cool.
A bee weekend for you at boarding school. Did you think, oh, I want to go and be with them and all the ruckus and all the crazy shit they're getting up to? No. Oh, it's just like, it's going to be nice to do me. Don't know who that is. Father, who? No, not mine. And I think the headline was like, you know, I only sucked his dick to prove I wasn't gay. Oh, it's more fun. Cool. You know what? It is lucky that we're even here and rounded human beings. Those crazy fuckers that raised us.
Oh, it's Council of Cut Funding just more and more. It's just a steady decline since sort of 2017. It's just been going down and down, which is worrying for sure. Terrifying, actually. Yeah. You feel it everywhere. It's very, very middle class.
I mean, essentially, I think that in order to be able to thrive and to put the time in in the art, or, you know, in music, you know, when I sort of started out, and I come from a pretty middle class background, I was able to support myself where people from more working class backgrounds were not able to. So, you know, I'd still have to put the costs for like rehearsal rooms and session players and studio time, whatever.
And all those things are that there are bills that the artist will need to put. I'm like, mincing my words here, but essentially, the art is full of a bunch of rich kids whose parents are paying for them to live their lives. Anyway, but with festivals, I think what's going on is the politics of seeping through to the summer we're going to have. Well, I think that like enter chicari, we're about to pull out from download festival on account of Barclay Card being a sponsor for any live nation.
Live event. Yes. So, a lot of artists are taking a stand because of Barclay's bank and their links with companies that deal arms to Israel. I think live nation own like 50% or something of all of the live venues in America. I don't know what the statistic is for the rest of the world, but you know, live nation are a huge company that turnover about 1.5 billion dollars a year. So, I don't think that they're, you know, I think they're going to be okay.
Yes. That's not to say that there aren't much smaller festivals, you know, non-live nation-backed festivals that are going under up and down the country in England. But I think that's more because of inflation and Brexit and the cost of living and also funding. Yes. The cost of everything has gone up.
So, artists are not able to be able to afford to turn up at these festivals and play them, which means that the promoters are struggling to find people to book, which means it's harder to sell tickets. Which is why we have the same people playing at all festivals. It's like Coldplay, head landing glass and breed is already such a snore of ill fine. But actually the fact that they played Radio One's big weekend a couple of weeks ago, it's like, oh, this is even less special now.
I could have seen them in Luton a few weeks ago. No, but I'm not even talking about those festivals. I'm talking about festivals that, you know, I like for 5,000 people bands that you and I will, you know, will never have heard of. But they've served a purpose because, you know, where are the bands that, you know, are supposed to end up at Glastonbury or are supposed to end up at Radio One's big weekend.
They have to start somewhere and if one of these festivals start to go under, then, you know, where's their platform? Because also small music venues up and down the country are going under left-right and centre as well. So, there's not very many places for people to start out their careers anymore. And develop and evolve. And also, I mean, with record companies, they give you one chance, one chance only. So it's like, it's all a bit one chance alone out there.
Like, there is no time to become what anyone could be because the environment is just kind of against it. I mean, does it feel starkly different to when, I mean, I remember, you, I felt like you did quite a lot of small gigs and small festivals. Actually, maybe it went straight to V Festival. Do you know what's funny, actually? You say that because just today, somebody posted a picture of me 18 years ago to the day, playing at T-For on the beach and shot top.
And they also posted a screenshot of one of my MySplays blogs at the time, which is where I talk about me being really nervous because it was only my seventh ever gig. And my way of dealing with my nerves at that particular junction in my life was to drink. And so it was, I think, 11 o'clock in the morning and I was absolutely hammered and I got sent home by my management at 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And you came to my festival in Western Superman and got pissed before your gig. You'll slot at 11 a.m. God. But yes, it answered your question. It was different for me. I never had to do the sort of like... The round. In the music business, you call them the sort of toilet tours. But because my music had sort of become big on the internet before I'd learnt my craft in that sense, I'd made a record but I hadn't played anything live.
My first ever gigs were my residences that I did at the Notting Hill Arts Club. Now I think about it. Yeah, you didn't do the rounds like others. But now the internet is supposed to crowd it for someone to use just the internet to stand out in that way. Yes. And I think, you know, those were the sort of like the internet and its infancy when actually, you know, it hadn't been sort of corrupted.
It wasn't like real estate in those days like it is now. Like now I think that you basically buy up space on the internet and on social media. And so most of the real estate is bought up by major label artists that we are, you know, just inundated with like endless bits of content. This is what you said that you said that record companies often they are sort of running those fan accounts of artists. I don't know if that's official. But oh, all right. That's just a theory.
I suspect that a lot of the fan accounts that repost, you know, bits of content from some of your favourites are actually run by either record companies or marketing companies. That's all right. That's like when Andrew from Wams Mum ran his fan club. The Wams fan club. It's been like that. No, it's absolutely nothing like that. It's nice and innocent.
It's not innocent. Because I think that what happens is, you know, you see posts all over the internet from what looks like, you know, genuine fan accounts. So it makes you believe that there is these huge fandoms for your artists that you're supporting, but actually it's quite manufactured. And it takes up all of the space. There's only a certain amount of space on the internet, right? So yeah, or is it endless? I don't know.
Actually, I think it's like space. I'm being bitten to shit right my skater. I'm going to say sorry for going so deep when you're on your holiday. You probably just wanted to talk about like Aga Do and holiday dances and favourite things to eat by the beach. I was like, no, let's talk about art. You're right, Keats. I really wanted to talk about Aga Do today. That was my main. Are you one of those hotels that has entertainment? No, I'm not at a hotel. I'm at an Airbnb.
Oh, I like a hotel more than an Airbnb. I love the entertainment section. My mum loves a buffet. As you know, as you know, she lives and breathes the buffet. If she's not at the buffet, what's she doing, Lily? Talking about the buffet. When she might return, when she might get next. Or what she wishes she'd ate last night at the buffet. You probably needed a bit of a buffet every holiday after that one. Okay, should we have a little break? You're on holiday. Fucking break.
All right, so now, like Harry Wilde starring Jane Seymour. I can't believe it, I'm hearing. It's brilliant. Visit acorn.tv for a third-day free trial with promo code BBC24. Hey, everyone. I'm Craig Robinson, co-host of The Ways to Win Podcast. Alongside my good friend, John Calapari, I've been on the go recently. Phoenix, Kansas City, Chicago. If you're like me and have a home but aren't always at home, you have an Airbnb. Posting your home or a spare room is a very practical side hustle.
If you live in a big-game town, you can Airbnb your place for fans to stay in. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com slash post. Welcome back to Miss Me. Lily's on holiday and I'm not. But I do have something to bring something to the table. Make me feel a bit juicy and fresh. So I've got a big bowl of fresh cherries, little. Oh my god, I bought some cherries. I've got cherries downstairs. It's rough cherries. People forget.
I thought it would be rude to bring them downstairs because I thought you'd get jealous. But little did I know you had your own bowl of cherries. I know how to fucking party, okay? And how do I have a good time? Well, I've actually got some white peaches for us. So... Now you're talking a white peach and the greasian sun is not the same as a cherry and hack me. I'm on my side. So I need to talk about something.
Everyone in the family says that I'm approved and approved with like talking about that after listening to last week's podcast or just generally. I guess last week's podcast was like an exam for a cemented up for everybody. Yeah. But like when you talk about such sexual stuff in front of my mum and dad and I'm like, Lilia and the PS you're on in uncle as well. And they're all like, oh, everyone's like, Kate's got just like, get over it. We can talk about blow jobs like, come on.
And then me and my mum do a show called Gogglebox together and we did Gogglebox last week. And the fuckers made us watch Bridgerton. Okay. Now, Bridgerton sex scenes are a particular energy of all of their own. They're long, they're labored and they're somewhat ludicrous. Yeah, I know. By the way, I watched Bridgerton while I was here in Greece and I was funny that you talk about the sex scenes because there's a sex scene with Nicola Cofflin and whoever that guy is that she has sex within it.
And I was freeze-framing it because I was like, there's absolutely no way that the dick could be in the vagina. Like there's sort of like the positioning was just like, there's just no way. And let's see, had like the most monstrously sized penis like a no-hat man. Cofflin. There's absolutely no way that that penis is anywhere near her vagina right now. So you're talking about Colin and Penelope on the shades launch. Okay, so this is the set, you know this is said sex scene. It is long.
And she's also like losing her virginity and I found it. I was like, I can't believe, I actually saw it. I just have to stop you because I can't believe that it is the Bridgerton sex scenes that have made you feel uncomfortable out of all of the sex scenes you've probably ever had to watch. No, no, no, there would be worse. I know worse. I know ones I could never watch with my mom. But this in the grand scheme of things wasn't easy because it is a long one and she's losing her virginity.
So my approach was like, you're a 40 year old woman. You could do this. No, I can't. I didn't really. No, I can't. My mom was like, you've gone red. I went completely red. Then I had to hide behind him, hello. And when it finished, finally, this like 10 minute sex scene, when it finished, my mom went, yeah, I didn't like that. I don't want to do that with the only one. I was like, I fucking told you. It's uncomfortable. We shouldn't watch sex scenes with our parents.
No, I think you need to talk to your therapist about this. No, see, no, I knew you'd come for me and that's why I've got this. I'm not shaming you. I'm not shaming you. I just think that like there is some, you know, you're embarrassed by sex. So please, you're saying this proves my point so well. I'm not embarrassed by sex. I don't want to watch sex scenes with my mother. But to be honest, you're right, because I was thinking I don't really know many people. I would want to watch sex scenes.
Probably my cousins, I wouldn't care. And probably you, I wouldn't care. But there are some people like a parent you don't really do it with. But I happen to watch the Google box back. And of course, it's not just us watching this sex scene. It's a lot of other people. No household could handle it. Let me just say that on the mic. Not one household could handle this. And there were parents and children, two boys from diversities.
They were like, actually feel like really, really, I feel like they looked so uncomfortable. They couldn't breathe. Fern cotton and got one. Got the giggles so badly. I think got left the room. No one could handle this. So this isn't just me. No one can handle sex scenes with their friends if they really think about it. I wonder if it is a British thing. Yes, very much so. I think that in America, people can handle watching sex scenes with their family.
That's insane that it would be a cultural thing. I think it's to do with intimacy and vulnerability. And we just don't do it in England. God, what is it? We can't. But then on the flip side, all I can think about, someone said this on Google, what's the two boys from diversity said, it's really weird now I've seen it, thinking that my mum loves this. Love's Bridgerton goes, oh, I'm going to go home, get a bottle of wine and watch Bridgerton.
It's like, so we're all happy to watch a bit of soft porn on our jays. No one wants to watch it as a group. So maybe it's a conversation between porn and Bridgerton because I don't really like porn. I like sex scenes in films. I was listening back to our podcast last week and you were talking about being in a relationship and sex as being two entirely different things. Yes, you were like, I'm this way in the relationship and then I'm this way in sex. Yes. Sex is part of the relationship.
Yes. But you separate the two things. I did. And I think that that's quite a British thing for us to do because in America, I feel like people are having conversations about sex and about intimacy quite openly with each other without shame and without embarrassment. And when I heard you talking to us, that's interesting because I definitely have conversations with Americans where relationships sex it all comes under the same umbrella. Oh, I forgot. I just want to think about that.
Why do I separate the two? No, I don't think it's you. I think it's culture. I think it's British culture. Yeah. I mean, we had to watch this sex scene. You've had to, I mean, you haven't had to do a sex scene but you've definitely had to do intimate scenes on camera. Yeah, I had to snog Kyle and I had to be in bed with him when we were doing Dreamland. We had an intimacy coordinator. Now, how does that actually work?
A lady, because, okay, before I imagine it was a room with not too many boundaries and there's like, sound many, you know, sound which is why they watch you do it. I don't know. But now there's someone going, right, there's actually something quite difficult happening here and we have to respect that and be aware of that. Yeah, I don't know how helpful I found it personally. I kind of would have been, would have just preferred to have just like thrown myself in the deep end and let it happen.
But the idea that it all had to be so choreographed and I mean, different intimacy coordinators are different and actually we had a couple of different ones and the second one I found much easier to deal with than the first one.
But what I found difficult was you had to like, ask the person's permission if they were okay with you putting your hand somewhere before you did it and I just couldn't, I'd be like, Kyle, are you happy with me to put my hand on your, it was just like, I couldn't understand like the format, it was just like a bit of a mind bog. I was just like, can we just let Snog? Can we just get it on with it? Yeah, it's like, you're making it weird. Yeah. Making it weird.
This extra, this third party that seems to be in the intimate part of it. And they're like, that's great intimacy. You're like, thanks. We needed to be judged on how good and believable I am at being intimate. How well I snog. As if I'm not judging myself on this every minute of every day anyway. Thanks for bringing it up, Lorna. I really needed, was a complete stranger to come into the room and tell me whether I'm doing it well or not. That wasn't very good.
You weren't being very good at being intimate. That would crush me. It's just an intimacy for us to say, I've done it. Okay. I wasn't trying to be intimate. I was trying to create awkwardness. Actually, I just wanted it to be, it is an awkward moment. So, some mind field, it's a mind field. I don't know how actors do it. I commend every bloody actor and Bridgerton because those sex scenes are lengthy. So, I imagine they take days to get on camera. So, thank you.
Thank you for your service, Nicola and the guy that plays Colin. Thank you very much. Well, enjoy your holiday darling. I'm so sorry, I won't take up any more of your time darling. Okay, bye, babes. Bye, honey bun. Thanks for that. That was great. I guess I'll see you on Monday for Listen Bitch. We are going to be talking about endings. I might get a bit sad. Is that all right? It's okay. Fine by me. Yeah. I don't like endings. Don't even like this ending right now.
I don't even want to say bye to you. Yeah! Bye, honey. Hang up. Hang up. Hang up. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Miki Taroleva. This is a Persephoneica production for BBC Sounds. The life of a celeb can be a right-old rollercoaster. Sometimes you saw in sky high upwards. And sometimes you fall face first and flat into the tabloids. Famously. Famously. Get listening to Famously and experience the exhilarating highs and dizzying lows of your favourite stars.
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