Brooke Shields

a little dose my Jersey hears. I also have man hands, so anything anything that makes them look I love your hands. They're beautiful. Palm of basketball. Yeah, totally. A friend of mine said he saw my hands, it goes Christ he goes last time I saw hands that big. They had a Super Bowl ring on him. Hello, I'm Mini driver.

Welcome to Many Questions Season two. I've always loved Prut's question that it was originally an nineteenth century harleg game where players would ask each other thirty five questions aim at revealing the other player's true nature. It's just the scientific method really. In asking different people the same set of questions, you can make observations about which truths appeared

to be universal. I love this discipline, and it made me wonder, what if these questions were just the jumping off point, what greater depths would be revealed if I asked these questions as conversation starters with thought leaders and trailblazers across all these different disciplines. So I adapted prus questionnaire and I wrote my own seven questions that I personally think a pertinent to a person's story. They are when and where were you happiest? What is the quality

you like least about yourself? What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you most like answered? What person, place, or experience has shaped you the most? What would be your last meal? And can you tell me something in your life that's grown out of a personal disaster? And I've gathered a group of really arkable people, ones that I am honored and humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You may not hear their

answers to all seven of these questions. We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to their experience or the most surprising, or created the most fertile ground to connect my guest today is actor, author, entrepreneur, and model Brookshields. Brooke evolved from Child's superstar to Princeton alum to having a successful career in TV, and I don't think many people have negotiated four decades of being in the spotlight

with such grace and humor. It was an absolute pleasure to have this conversation, and I'm really happy to share her insightful answers to my big questions. I do want to point out in the first minute or so of the third question of the episode, Brook discusses a friend of hers who took their own life. So take care while listening, and please feel free to give a had if you so choose, When and why were you happiest. I have to say that I remember one specific moment.

I had just gotten married to Chris. I had gone to New York to do cabaret and nine eleven happened and he couldn't get to me. I obviously couldn't get out of New York. And it was this very fraught period of time, and we were the first show to go back, and everything was just fraught and scary and sad. And when my run ended, I went back to Los Angeles and we went to someone's house in Malibu and the weather was perfect, and I walked down to the

beach and I just started dancing, just free dancing. My husband was my new husband. My mom wasn't either in jail or in the hospital, and I was I wasn't getting a phone call like that. That's I lived in that. You know, Oh my god, at any moment, something's going to happen. She had been was in a facility where she was taken care of, so I didn't have to

worry about her. And I just started dancing up and down like an idiot on the beach, and I just remember thinking, this is freedom, this is happy, and it's funny because I don't particularly love l a and you know, I didn't have a job normally that makes me panic, and I had just finished a job and I was so depleted physically and emotionally. But to just be able to feel the breeze and have my feet in the water and just dance down the beach, it was I

just remember thinking, Wow, this is a gift. Remember this, because this is what peaceful feels like. Oh my gosh, how that's quite. I'm just going back to a sentence that you said that, you know, I was feeling good. My mom wasn't in jail, and she was taken care of. Like just the thought that you know that that's a barometer for a person in their life is quite intense. Well, that she she wasn't on the side of the road. She wasn't she hadn't just had a stroke. She hadn't.

It was like everything in my life had been gauged around her being alive, and the responsibility that was mine in my mind to keep her alive. I mean the irony of also that is my version of finding peace and joy has to have come from nine eleven. That's what I was just, that was it. That was My next question was is happiness predicated on this idea that really hard things have to have happened before you can feel that freedom and allow yourself to feel happy. Earn it?

It's like I have to have earned it. Where that come from is so so deep. It's probably the alcoholic mother. It's a child actress from such a young age. And what I did was I crafted things that I knew would be there for me in spite of being an actress or famous or a celebrity or whatever whatever, And I knew that I needed to go to university. I knew that I needed to find my husband that was grounded, that we could build a life that had healthy children.

That it was not on the West Coast. There were sort of these markers, but actual just relief and joy just always seemed that it would only it could only be possible after drama, trauma, lots of pain, lots of hard work. And that's from my own psyche, you know, interesting like I think that's why I asked this question, because I think it is such a tub in an

interesting wit area, this notion of happiness. When I'm happy, there is a period of enormous anxiety because I am absolutely certain that something bad has to happen because I'm happy and I can't last. But so maybe all we can do is literally know that about ourselves. I don't know, I've been well. I feel like I've been working on that particular thing, like my whole life, I think, so

I think I have to. I mean, that's why I sort of had this other checklist, so that I could at least say like, no, no, no, no, that's you're happy there. Yeah, you love your children, children love you. I I feel like there's going to be a price to pay, yeah, for being happy, and then it's inevitable that it can't last. I think that's trauma. I really think that has all the hallmarks of trauma, just in the therapy I've done, all the books that I've read.

The idea that there must be payment for it comes from a young person's mind of going these bad things happened because I was happy, or the norm is the hard things happening. But I do think it's associated with trauma.

I mean, I remember that every time I would have a a plan that we were excited about, I never believed it was really going to happen because it would change because I'd get a job, and so I sort of lived in this sort of like just be at the ready all the time because you're just going to have to spring into action in some way. And you know, that's also I think the trauma of living with an alcoholic mother is that you never know really what you're going to get, what you're going to get, and how

long the good part is going to last. You know, I used to say, I wrote this in my book. I said, you know, I remember saying to my mom once I wish I just only knew you in the mornings, because in the morning hours she was peppy and up and we would get our coffee and our role with butter and we laughed. I mean, and by the time three o'clock came, I knew. I'd look at I'd look at the way her lipstick looked, and I thought, oh God, okay, it's already hitting the sauce. So let's see, let's see

what's let's see what's going to unfold. And I think you're always living at the ready and doing to the movie like Pretty Baby. When I was was just trauma. Even as a child, I knew that you were going to have to somehow survive that beginning. I knew that you were going to make it out the other side. I remember just being so impressed knowing you and knowing just how warm and generous and interesting and interested you

are in life. When I think about the impact of that, your image in advertising and in the movies, like it was so kind of it was so iconic and distant, but I never forget. It's so funny. I really always from I always remember when you went to school. I always remember hearing that and really feeling like there's something else beyond being appreciated for how beautiful or but how marketable or how big a movie star someone is. That there is this there's this other world, and it felt

it felt important to remember that. I mean, I think I knew that I in order for me to be whole and to survive, but really survive, like thrive na survive, you know. I remember thinking this will be the one thing that can't be taken away from you. I thought I was going to be heralded and welcomed back into this industry, that I was not only an actress, but I was now in an religion actor, I was a scholar.

And that clearly was not the way it happened. But I remember thinking, if I don't cultivate my intellect and have it be a tool for me, I'm not sure I'm emotionally prepared to continue in the spotlight in this world. I needed something that was just mine. And of course the whole industry took it as a threat. I was, all of a sudden threatening to them exactly. Yeah, so that's what is interesting. What is the quality that you

like least about yourself? Oh that my insecurities surrounding my talent still pop up that I still pine for recognition, for actual talent. It's still a journey that I have to go through to not compare myself and say, but do they think you're talented? I'm in these meetings, I'm a CEO, I'm I'm all of this, I'm my phrase children. I have to remind myself daily that I am good enough. Do you think there's two things going on, which is sort of the external impact of it and the way

that you're so think about it. I think it is most definitely too prompt. I think that from a very early age, I was so constantly criticized. Oh my god, I thought you were going to say. I was so constantly told how great I was, and it was on such a public level, and everything had a disclaimer, not but she's pretty, But it was always sort of, well, she's not a vocal powerhouse. If I was singing work, she's no somebody. And then they'll pick the person who

just won the Academy Award or somebody. And you know, every time I had an interview, you could feel the tone. And I was so young, and then later on I read all of it and I was so raked over the coals for for not being talented that it was. It was always sort of like, she doesn't have to be because she can just look that way. And that's also why I wanted to go to university, is because I thought I'm so much more than all of this.

When I was invited two purely do comedy, that was the first time that I ever really understood where my talent was unique. And it was so natural to me. I mean, you know, comedic actresses are not as sort of brilliantly praised the way drama is. And and that's you know, it's fine. That is not something I covet doing. The purity and comedy to me is just is where

I find a great deal of joy. There was a movie on the other night and it was a comedy with two women, and my kids were watching it, and I had loved the movie, and I started going down the rabbit hole saying, my kids don't know that I can do that, And all of a sudden, this was like this insecurity just wafted over me, and I thought, Okay, you have got to get your ship together. I don't know why you're doing this, but I think you're right. I think a lot of that comes from trauma from childhood.

This profession being an actor is there were just so many schisms in it, like faulted people make really good actors. It's like we're trying to fill a bit of a void. And it's not enough that you think you're good. It's not enough that one can sort of self generate. You have to have other people also during the kool aid.

Like I said in my book, I said, it's not you know, you're not expected to win the lottery once you're expected to win it over and over again, and then you're also punished when you don't win the fucking lottery. Even though I didn't have the same experience of you, I was not a child actor or model or icon, but that same feeling of whereas the next job, if no one's hiring me, your self worth can be around your feet if you let it. It's endemic in this

in this industry as well. I mean, it's funny because I used to to say, I mean I would I went to the Academy Awards when I was a baby. That was just nirvana to me, and I coveted it. I coveted it, covered it, covered it, and finally my therapist said she's like why and I said, you know why, because of other opportunity And that's all it was about for me. Really, someone would probably want you to do another movie, and you feel like, yes, do another reacy

that that never goes that that never goes away. I mean, I'm sure there are people for whom it does. I don't think Tilda Swinton is worrying about like her next No. I think it's very hard to carve it out there, like if you've got to make a living. I don't know. I've spoken to more actors who feel this way, and then I think there are these these creature like bird like anomalies who who can who can kind of apparently conjure it out of nowhere. I've always had to be basically,

I've always been a brand, you know. I've always been right nurturing something so that we could pay our mortgage, or if you did this movie, we got a car. Everything was basically transactional. So there was never a plan to to concentrate on craft. You know. My mother, I mean, she wasn't a manager. She just she was like like, as long as they're talking about you keep your right and that was okay. Because I got very rewarded for it. I was liked and I went to a good school.

So to me, it was just how do you make a living just being you? Yeah, that's that's that's exactly, That's exactly it. That has always been my approach as well. What question would you most like answered? Oh, the ones that we've loved to have died, Where where do they go? Where are they? I lost my best friend. He was

sort of just like an extension of me. And when you lose someone like that, so so young, and he took his own life and I can't reconcile it to this day, you know, and it's you know, twenty years ago, and those are the answers I would just love to know, you know, and have it be beautiful. I just want to know that they're okay. I mean, you know what I mean, like, yeah, I want to know that he doesn't regret his decision. I never was afraid of death

until recently. For some odd reason, I had a youthful attitude about it. Just live every day with gratitude, I

really do, and I I can find joy. I mean, you know, it was spiking and there was a little boy with a nanny I think, and their dog and she was walking him too a playdate or something like that, and he stopped and he said hi, and he must have been like five six, and I could tell that the nanny was trying to shuffle him away, but he was very forward and wanted to engage and talk with me, and of course I stopped and I engaged with him, and I said, look to look at this color of

this bike. It's yellow, and isn't it a pretty color? Yellow? And he's like, we're going to Frenchie's house or something like that, and I said, oh, that's wonderful. I said, you just have the best time. I don't know his name, I didn't know anybody that we're all strangers, and he said, you have nice like time, and I was like, I just thanked him, and I went on my way and I started crying. I was like like a blubbering idiot

because it was so pure. I find such joy, and then in recent times I've started to fear losing it. Everything is moving so quickly and you just start thinking, oh God, I'm gonna I'm gonna die one day, you know. And I didn't plan for this, and I'm bugging on yeah, facing my mortality when I really just want to be having interactions with small, pure little kids. Have spy time, have nice by time, don't die have The irony would have been I got hit by a truck, right, that's

all right? Turned away. The nanny would have been the only person who could recount the story. Oh my god, she would have moved on in your life, what person, place, or experience most altered it. I had a very bad accident just over a year ago. I was in hospital for a month and I got a staph infection and a blood clos and nobody could visit me because it

was COVID. I think it was the most alone I'd ever felt, and I was really scared, and I realized that I just was so much more of a fighter and a survivor than I probably ever really gave myself credit for. And it's when I decided full on to start my own company and sort of create this movement for women over forty and really sort of harness that energy to make a difference for women. It just felt like, Okay, he didn't die, so what are you gonna do now?

I mean, I'm so sorry that you were hurt. It's so interesting how to look at that, like when you've had a kind of near death experience, and yet out of that comes this clarity and this decision and this strength and this idea of what this next chapter is going to be. I think only thing that I could do was learn how to walk. And I had to

learn how to walk again, which was so bizarre. I had to tell my brain to tell my leg to keep to move and and I thought, Okay, you're gonna walk faster than anybody has ever walked with this injury. You know. I made them give me p T twice a day. And it was funny because people, lots of people were like, why do you think it happened? You know, were you moving to my life? Did you need to find more gratitude? I was like, no, sh it happens.

It was an accident. The accident itself didn't come from the universe to slow me down in my pursuits or whatever. It just happened. But how I responded to it was going to be the defining factor. It was just an important time. I mean, I remember one other when I lost my first child. I lost a lot of my my youthfulness. That next day, like by that next day. I remember thinking, oh, you're an adult. Now you're you're different. How old we when that happened. I was thirty one,

and you know, I immediately went to my fault. Of course, it had to be my fault, and it was really important for me to learn that it's actually an unviable pregnancy, that is nature taking care of that for you. I didn't take too many yoga classes or I didn't didn't do anything wrong. You know, it wasn't a fault of mine, and that was kind of that. I grew up a lot from that um. But this last, this last sort of experience just sort of brought me into my next chapter.

I I mean, I think that actually answers one of my other questions is in your life, can you tell me about something that has grown out of a personal disaster? And I think that that would be the loss. Yeah, well both actually well also when I lost that first baby, I had had a very very invasive surgery years earlier and actually couldn't even get pregnant naturally, had to do IVF and that baby was implanted through my belly button. Actually it's odd I could argue I was still a virgin.

I guess but so that was the pregnancy that took and then I lost that pregnancy. But in the loss of it, it actually changed my physical being in a way. I had a lot of scar tissue, and the miscarriage was sort of so violent that it actually created space so that I was able to then get pregnant naturally. You know, that was definitely a change in a gift. So you don't always know the reason for things that quickly.

That's really really amazing. I've talked about it a little bit on here, that I was told I couldn't have children, like flat out when I was eighteen, so just it was never it was never something I thought was going to happen. So when I when I got pregnant, it was so interesting, like wondering whether it was the psychosomatic idea of you know, this old patrician doctor who had said you're never gonna get pregnant, or whether there was something physiological as I grew old, or just your things

move around and change. I mean, you had something, you had an actual you know, surgery which which helped it. But I wondered so much about that. We just put a lot of emotional judgment on on all these things. That happen in life. But it's really just life, life thing. It is just life. We always want to find meaning and yeah, the poetry in it and and sometimes it's just it just is. You know, I think it just is. I think life just life's and you you kind touched

whatever meaning you choose to all of it. It's amazing to me, Like all these things that have happened to you, I think you've been blessed with a really big life, big hands, big life, Brook grabbing it in, grabbing, grab onto it like a bed, really iconic Koala. You can hear more from Brooke on her podcast Now What with Brookshields from My Heart Radio, Brook interviews guests about the

most pivitual moments in their life. Previous guests include Patton Oswald and Gina Davis, with new episodes released every Tuesday. Also be sure to check out Beginning is Now, which is a global community Brook started for women over forty to celebrate strength, wisdom, optimism, and humor in each other. Find out more at the Beginning is now dot com. Many Questions is hosted and written by me Mini Driver, supervising producer Aaron Kaufman, producer Morgan Lavoy Research Assistant Marissa Brown.

Original music Sorry Baby by Minni Driver, Additional music by Aaron Kaufman. Executive produced by me Mini Driver. Special thanks to Jim Nikolay, Will Pearson, Addison No Day, Lisa Castella and Nick Oppenheim at w kPr, de La Pescador, Kate Driver and Jason Weinberg, and for constantly solicited tech support Henry Driver,