Getting Open with Jalyn Holmes

doing right now. Throughout the series, you will be able to hear personal experiences from players and others within the Vikings organization. We will share information about how the Vikings are working to put an emphasis on mental health and to care for those that are staff, players, coaches, everybody in the building. We will also share some of the players foundations doing a lot of work in the area

of mental health. Our first conversation is with Vikings defensive lineman Jalen Holmes, who this season will be entering his fourth year with Minnesota. He shared with me some of his personal experiences from growing up, how he kind of came to find out that anxiety was an official diagnosis for him, and the tools that he's used over the years to treat it, recover and also connect with other people who have similar experiences. Here is our conversation with

Jalen Holmes. Can you just tell us a little bit about your experience around mental health and what that's looked like in your life. I feel like at first, when I first started struggling with it, for me, I didn't know what it was. You know, you really don't get toted. You don't get that's not something to get towle at school or you know. I really never had like people tell me about like the symptoms or whatever if I'm mental. I just was experiencing and then just trying to deal

with the best way I knew how. But I feel like, you know, as time grew and I grew as a person, and I grew as a father, as I grew as a man, I started to acknowledge some of the things that was making me feel different, I guess, and I just tried to attack it. Really from there, I answer you a question, what age was that when you first started experiencing feeling different? You know? Was that in college? Was that in high school? What did that look like?

I mean, I feel like different things that happened. You know where I was from it and it's the community I grew up in me different things just seeing you know, people getting killed. Now I knew H went to, you know, the school I went to. It was a lot of different things going in there. So maybe maybe middle school, high school you started experience other things. But it never really liked hit me. But I feel like it really like got brought to my attention and I had to

I knew I had to act on it. It's when I got to the NFL. Okay, you're you're kind of speaking generally about mental health. I know you've shared specifically things on your social media about depression, and we'll get to that here in the second. But it's depression. The main piece that you are affected by it that you deal with depression, anxiety, both of those two things. I feel like it was a time where, you know, I was really going through my own depression. I don't even

know how to like put it, but definitely anxiety. It's everyday better with anxiety. It's times where you know, I can get overwhelmed and it can go enough, and it's times where I'm good and i'm and I can get things done. You know, I feel like I got to have I'm a perfectionist in a way, So certain things has to go a certain way, and you know, sometimes anxiety can have another plan for you, you know. So I feel like anxiety is the most it's the everyday

thing I still do. What have you found that's been helpful for you? Like the most helpful thing is just talking about it, you know, just having a I mean you having this conversation about it right now. I feel like a lot of people go experience anxiety and they don't even know. And I feel like me, once I decided to be vulnerable and able to talk about it with anyone or share it on a public platform, you know, it kind of made me feel good because you could

relate to it. And once you find people that can relate to the same thing you're going through, it kind of makes it a little easier, you know, Like you don't feel that as crazy, because sometimes you feel like you're going through this big anxiety battle or whatever mental health you know, battle you got going on. You think you're the only one that you're just going through it.

You feel crazy when you hear somebody else shit the same things, and it's like, oh, I'm not I'm not not crazy, I'm not tripping, And you can share those, you know, different stories you have honestly helps has football and you know, being an athlete, has that been helpful for your mental health? What's crazy is sometimes that's you know, like sometimes I can go in, I can walk into work and it's like everything that's going on in life. I can lead in the car and I can go

go working in football takes me completely from it. But sometimes football is one of the stressors that you know, heightens it. So it goes either way. And that's why I feel like, you know, as you know, trying to use my platform as an athlete to share with you know, other athletes in the NFL, college or high school, whatever. Our job can be our stressers, and it's just talking about it and communicating with others and being vulnerable and

then talking about whatever you're going through. I feel like, you know that that actually helps. So you know, what we do sometimes can also bring us down. Have things kind of gotten easier? Have you found kind of a way to balance that anxiety with your career. When I first got in to the I didn't know what it was. It was so much going on in my own head because I'm an overthinker. I overthink everything and uh, and that sometimes it is a blessed and other times, you know,

it can definitely be a curse. So when I first got to the NFL, I had no way. And I feel like as I you know, pointing out the problem that was in my life with anxiety and dealing with those things, I learned how to deal with it a little bit more. I still know on the way how to deal with it, but every day I'm getting better at it. So I'm at a point now where you know, I could recognize it and try to you know, fix

it and then go on. So I just feel like, you know, as my journey goes on, I'm just getting better with it every day, and I'm just trying to try new practices and you know, follow those different pages or you know, going to therapy and just being open about talking going to therapy as it definitely has. Are there people in your life, either in the Vikings organization or in your family or friends that have been especially

helpful and supportive for you? And how important is that? Oh? Yeah? So, you know, glad of my friends from back home, A lot of guys I played you know, football with at Ohio State. You know, we still keep a content and I have a real good friend. He's also the guyfather of my child, Tracy Sprinkle. We we both has been balanced this together in a way. And you know some days where you know our anxiety, his society can't be

going a certain way. It tell me like, bro, I'm struggling right now, like I need help, and this vice versas saying with me like I just tell him a birth today, not a good day, like I need you know, I need some help. So that's why I said, like being vulnerable has helped me a lot, because I'm not saying being vulnerable within everybody. You've obviously you gotta you know,

have that trust with people. But once you have the people that you could trust and you could talk to, be completely vulnerable with them because you know they can help. I mean, you can't do this all by yourself. And I had that, you know, that mentality where take care of my family, I take care of my son, I take care of so many different people out I have two businesses, I have people who work in the business. You gotta you gotta be the guy. Sometimes you gotta

lean on someone else. And you know, I'm blessed to have no friends and I can do that. Do you think that there's a stigma around mental illness, either in the general society or within athletics. Yes, uh, well not post those you know, reposts that people will are you okay? Or like do I and it's like I'm actually having a good day, Like I'm just sharing everymas because you

just never know who made need to see that. I just feel like sometimes when you talk about it, people think, like will be crazy or sick or you know, you could be suicide, and and that's not it. I feel like everybody struggles with mental health in some way. It's just who willing to talking about it and who's not. I feel like, especially within the NFL, within this past year or two, teams and organizations have been working on breaking that stigma, right And you have guys like Dak Prescott,

you know, like talked about his experience with depression. What impact do you think it has when you're having these athletes who are on these big platforms be vulnerable and share that they struggle with these things too. It's a huge impact. And it's definitely especially being a you know, an African American athlete with our community like that's not talked about it at all. You know, a lot of

conversation with my dad about this. He was at dentialized night and we were just talking about being vulnerable and no general roles and masculinity all those different things where you know, those are not conversations that's had. So when you got Da Presscott and like myself talking about the kids who who's watching every movie? They watched everything? Do they try to dress like us? They try to memic us on the field everything right now? What they trying

to memic you? Being vulnerable talking about you know, the mental things that should go through that that only helps them and it helps them to be more advanced at an early age. Just about looking at that pressure. Do you think that talking about it, going to therapy, I'm learning more information about mental illness and about anxiety. Do you think that's helped you become a better family man, become a better dad to your son? Yeah? It has.

It definitely has made me more gentle. I just feel like I've never been a real super like I'm with my son man, that's like my best friend, you know. So it's just now like certain words or certain things can be said and you know everybody's not gonna take it a week you meant to, you know, say it. So it's just I feel like learning these things and

just seeing him grow. He just got his first haircut a cow weeks ago, and it's just like, you know, it's just saying encouraging words to him all the time, just doing different things to build those small building blocks to add up to where he can be strong basically, not just physically. You and I kind of started talking because I saw, like you said that you had posted some things on your social media and I could tell because you were posting those things that that was something

that you were comfortable about. Why is it important for you to share your story publicly? I just feel like, you know, I have a real mixed feelings about social media anyway, but I feel like the good about it is you can you can get information not doing right. So I just feel like, you know, if I could just share as much helpful information and I can help one person, you know, it just helps people just be

more comfortable. And that's what I want. I want to normalize talking about mental health and not seeming like you're crazy. You know, like crazy and mental health get put together too much, and that's not it. Because if that's the case all of us are crazy because we all deal with so I just I just want to normalize the conversation. You said everybody probably deals with mental illness to some degree, right,

some people more than others. But this past year has been especially I think hard, probably for everybody at different levels. But you have the racial injustice that's going on, you have the pandemic and people losing loved ones or people just trying, you know, being isolated. How much more important do you think, just during this year is it to connect with others to talk about mental health and how important that is? This is? I mean, we're in the pandemic,

you know, like it's traumatic for everyone. I mean kids is going to school online. I didn't start going to school lots. I got to college and a lot of people struggle with that. You got kids doing that too. So I just feel like, you know, this pandemic has shown a lot a lot of a lot of bad and also a lot of good. I feel like, you know, for me, especially doing this pandemic, I tried to focus on myself because it's just challenging, especially you know, with

COVID there's so many new things. It's always have to stand your toes. It could be one way this week the makes way, it's completely different, and it's for your mental health. That's you know, that's taxing. So you gotta you gotta pay attention to that. And you know, I feel like this pandemic has definitely shown a lot. And then you're talking about anxiety. You know there's different types

of anxiety. Um are there you know, kind of specific triggers for you or is it more of a generalized anxiety that you kind of can kind of crop up at any time. I just I just feel like a lot of athletes correlate to this. You know, in a sense, you are the person that everybody goes to because you know the image that people think the NFL comes with the money, all all that different things. Right, Sometimes you

forget to take care of you. And a lot of times when I'm gay, planning and practicing, rehabbing, family, are everything coming at you one time? You know, you try to attack everything at one time and then you look up overwhelmed. And then it's been times where I've been so overwhelmed I break down. I don't know what from my phone off, I got an attitude with everybody. I'm

I'm just and then snap back out of it. And I never knew what that was, and I thought about it, you know, went to therapy, and my difference like that's because I do you know, like this job is so it could be one way one week and another way the next. You know how the NFL seas that can be an emotional roller coaster within itself. So just trying to stay on everywhere close and keeping itself together it's

probably the most taxing part of it. I just I just feel like, you know, you gotta deal with those things because you know, we are a lot of us are you know, the heads of our family, and you can't get to take care of yourself because you're taking care of so many other people. What are maybe some other things in your daily life that you can do, you know, is it is it getting away from social media, as it playing with your son? Is it watching tv? What does self care look like for you? Self care

for me? Was you know the first one of the best things I did, and I did this a lot about the year, was I would delete Instagram all week and now I would get back on Instagram maybe like Friday, like on my way traveling while I had nothing to do. Definitely getting rid of social media was a big helper

for me. Um reading, uh, playing with my son, just pay it to the things that really matter, and just just learning more about you know, anxiety and different things like that, just talking about like a conversations, were having lunch right here, or you know, building my businesses, just keeping myself busy, just keeping myself away from you know things. And also I just started meditating too, so that's that's

actually a good deal as well. So you know, I feel like just doing what you love and just finding peace with yourself. And it could be whatever it is. It can be right, it could be something that's just relaxed comment you can just think your way through some things and not even think at all, just be still. Our thanks to Jayleen Holmes for sitting down and sharing those thoughts and experiences with us. We look forward to sharing additional stories and features with you as part of

our Getting Open series. New features will drop weekly on Viking's digital platforms.