¶ Intro / Opening
Hi , how are you ? This is Dr Damaris Maria Grossman and this is the Mindfully Integrative Show and I want you guys to meet a wonderful guest , michael Pereira . He is going to talk to you a little bit about his family life and things of why he kind of changed his perspective and his health and for his family and especially his son .
So I really can't wait for you guys to meet him and kind of dive into where he would
¶ Meeting Michael Pereira
like to tell you about his journey . So thank you so much for joining in on the show today .
Perfect . Thank you so much , Damaris , for having me we appreciate it .
So tell the audience a little bit about yourself and before they kind of go into what you know , why you're here and what you want to discuss , Of course .
Well , I'm Michael Pereira . I'm the founder of the Autism Voyage . I would say everything started a couple of years back . Came from corporate America , wanted to build that American dream , what we call the American dream in that moment , got married , bought a house , got pregnant with our first child , christian , and we thought that , based upon
¶ Early Signs and Denial
that lifestyle , we , you know , everything was going to go that way . But obviously life throws you a curve ball or so , and around one year old , we started seeing some symptoms that we knew that needed to be addressed , you know . And even though there was , there was some denial from our side and we would just say you know what ?
I hope it's not what we think it is , let's give it some time . Obviously , around that time we also shared this information with some family members and in some cases they would say hey , don't worry , you were the same name . You know that obviously the denial , plus listening to a possible best intention , you know , opinion could procrastinate early intervention .
In our case he was too young , one year old , it's still too young , but I think it fueled even more the denial . So , long story short , covid came , came by , was able to stay here uh , not no travel , so a lot of the symptoms we saw just reduced . I would say why ? Maybe because I'm stricter than my wife was here at home .
All the attention was on him . But when COVID released that I started traveling again , a lot of the symptoms returned , returned , I would say , full force . He wasn't good with transitions , so , hitting his head against the wall , tippy , toeing , aligning stuff , he started to say a couple of words . He just kind of almost regressed in some case .
You know all those symptoms . You know it became evident that we needed to address it and and and full forward . And that's what we did . Long story short , we were able to obviously get him diagnosed , started to obviously that phase of denial now transitioned into an acceptance phase .
We from my side try to see if I can get another employer but to do the same trouble less , but it wasn't the case and I started also . You know that through that phase between denial and acceptance I started asking myself questions okay , if , if , if he does say ever , like everybody says , he is diagnosed , what happens if I pass away ?
What happens if my wife passes away ? Even though my mom is the best grandma there is , she physically cannot take
¶ Physical Activity as a Game Changer
care of him right so yeah , what do you ? so I started asking financial advisors . Everybody just want to sell me something , just wanted to recruit me . Very frustrating , so I just developed my own . We developed our own blog to be able to just share all the topics any parent , we believe , would ask themselves .
Right and also provide . That's what we're in . I mean because I feel like so you started a blog on financial advisement or just for support and financial advisement for patients or families with autistic children .
I think it was both at the same time , but more on that . We wanted the content there because we believe that we're not I'm not salesy , I'm not pushy , so I believe , just provide value and whenever a parent wants to talk about it , see the seeds , the benefit . I'm here , but we just dabbled into topics around OK , maybe overprotecting early signs .
Obviously , now the blog has evolved a lot , but we just wanted to be a resource for families like ours .
That's amazing . And what have you found has been the most impactful ? Not for yourself , first .
First let's say that for you , with the starting the blog of course I would say um , we use a lot of different sources to create a blog , including ai , and it's helped us a lot , even me , to learn about topic technology ?
yeah , of course yeah , I would .
I would never , you know , think about and obviously , by just being there being able to write . Also , it serves like a journal , I would say , for me . Just okay , this is gathering my thoughts , being able to reflect . Oh , my God , believe in that . There's always um a way to better the improvement in the lifestyle .
And , uh , we wanted to talk about topics that are often not talked , so that's why we want to use it as a platform for that and what have you found like ?
so you started this , you know , for your son and for your family , obviously , new profession , new job . But what was it that was so important for you to discuss in this blog about what you transitioned to do for you and your family ? Because obviously you were like one , you were trying to , you know , do something financially for other families , right ?
So that was one part of the topic . And for you , what did you do for you , you do for your son , that made it different that you wanted to discuss with other people so that they felt like you , because you want to advocate for other people .
Correct . But the main thing was , damaris , that each time I would look for a blog post , it was seven years old , it was very old content . I couldn't find a place that was new and if it was updated , it was very short form content . I couldn't find a place that was new and if it was updated , it was very short form content , nothing , nothing .
A little bit more in deep dive . So I say , okay , that's the first thing , there's nothing right now . I think parents , like me , have a lot of questions . I'm a I'm a person that always asks too many questions . So I said , okay , that's the first thing .
Secondly , when we went through all this phase of denial and acceptance , we felt alone a lot of time because obviously , going through that phase , you feel judgment from family , friends , society maybe not intentional , because they may know , but we felt like that and we wanted to have this safe space , if you will , to be able to provide parents to feel OK .
Now , if Michael's went through these thoughts and I'm doing this , you know there's somebody out there that that understands .
That makes a lot of sense . What was your ? What helped your son the most and for you guys as a family to be healthier , or you know cause you went to the doctors . You've done therapy . You did that for him . Now he does . He go to school .
Yeah , yeah , he does .
He's progressed a lot , that's great you do daily activities with him to kind of be .
You know a lot , a lot we believe in in being able to provide an environment that very active . We , at one point we got to be honest . We gave him a lot of tablets , of tablets .
We gave him a lot of like tv cartoons , just because he it was so much for us that even for me to take a call , I would just put , give him my another phone and you know , just to see a way to calm him down because the energy was too much . But , uh , we noticed that it became addictive , it became his .
Even if we would take away the tablet , for example , he would get aggressive . So , um , behavior started to change and I said you know what , with my wife , we need to do something . So we , you know , opted to be able to do physical activity . Um , so a lot of things happened . Even we started walking as well . So we did as a family activity .
So what we're doing is he was a um he . We we got him into soccer at one point started to look for ways and to do that I can agree with you on that .
Like my son is little and I mean it's so much easier to you know with these screens and stuff to just okay , here you go . And they , they need to be active , they need to get their energy out , whatever , whether they're diagnosed with something or not , these kids need to be active .
They need to get their energy out . Whether they're diagnosed with something or not , these kids need to be addicted to these tablets . I know .
So I get you , I totally get you .
Yeah , Even when I was raised as a child , we were always on the street . We were always , you know here Bike riding outside . Correct , correct , correct . So we started in soccer , correct ? So , um , we started in soccer . It wasn't good for us because he has , he had elopement , which is just running away with no , no , looking back .
So when you're in the open field and there is , he has elopement , it's dangerous , right , because he just runs , uh , like for his gum , uh . So that wasn't good . Then we put him into swimming , but he saw more as a play date , didn't follow instructions , more as a party cannonball and it wasn't working . So we got him into jujitsu , being disciplined .
He wasn't sociable , he was always in the corner . Now he's starting to socialize with other kids and when they say sociable , he would say hi to anybody . But when , if it's a , if it's in a group setting , you would always see him trying to go into a corner or something . Now we see him involved , we see him discipline , we see him imitating other children .
So if everybody's in a line , he's in the line . If everybody's doing one exercise , he's doing it as well .
So for us , physical activity , especially jiu-jitsu , was a game changer for us oh , that's really interesting because I mean so he did you find that it caught like he was . He shows up , he puts his uniform on , he he gets into like a pattern and he was able to really get into it Everything .
He goes to school and each morning before going to school he's always hey jujitsu ho exercise . You see him . He's looking forward for that , and for us that's a huge blessing .
And does he do that every day or ?
Every day , every day , every day . Except weekends . Except for the weekends , yeah , that's amazing , that's amazing .
So you found something for your son to kind of really open up and grow and then you started this blog and business and being a financial advisor for other families with autistic children or special needs children . Yeah , I think that's what special needs people that may need more support than when their kids get older .
Yeah , the thing is , at the end of the day , I don't have any special product or any special sauce . You know , secret sauce it's sometimes social media sometimes exaggerates something to give you a hook . Secret sauce Sometimes social media sometimes exaggerate something to give you a hook .
My main thing was when I started looking for financial advice was I wanted to think about all scenarios , not necessarily if I pass away . So , for example , a lot of people talk about , hey , buy this term or life insurance If you pass
¶ Financial Planning for Special Needs Families
your family's a millionaire . I would say , yeah , but what if I don't pass away ? What if I get sick ? What if I get cancer , stroke , get into a car accident and I'm two years out ? A term will not do anything for me because I didn't pass away . What type of strategy can I create ?
because you have your son to take care of .
Correct . A Christian depends on me a hundred percent . I don't know until when , if something happens to me while I'm living , I need to have a strategy , something that replaces my income or gives me a lump sum , and it was very difficult to find somebody who can talk about that . I think that's very important .
I'm , I'm . I'm just saying in general . I think that you know people are becoming elderly . We're not discussing , you know , changes . The kid , you know your child , you know you've had to find a different way for him to grow a better life , but you don't know how he's . How old is he now ? He's seven , so seven .
So I mean he still has many years to you know , many years of learning , and he may do very well , may live on his own too and stuff .
But I think , like you said , having that backup plan and then being um an advocate resource for so many other families , that's important , um and then this could , um , you know I feel like there's many um individuals that could you know reach out to you that need your support and that you know business , and you know I feel like there's many individuals that
could you know reach out to you , that need your support and that you know business , and you know , on both ends Is this , you know , I think it has many opportunities for you .
Yeah , even for long-term care , like , for example , a lot of people say , hey , how do you want to ? How do you see yourself in 20 years of retirement in a , in a beach , with a car ? I say I don't know . I don't know , I get it .
You know , it's very difficult for me to see myself that way if I'm still planning now because I don't know what's going to happen .
So something that I wanted to talk about at that point is long term care , because if I'm 80 and Christians , I don't know 30 something , 40 , and I need care and he may not be able to support me , assisting living facilities , nursing homes are becoming very expensive . So we need to think about , hey , if your son or daughter may not be able to support you .
I'm from Puerto Rico . In Puerto Rico you see a lot of families living together , grandparents , everybody in the same home . But here in the States there's again living facilities , nursing homes , and they are becoming very expensive . So you need to have that conversation about , hey , what if post-retirement ?
How can you start now having those conversations , because you don't know if you might need help on those later years .
That is like so I mean it's . It's something we don't always think about , right , and the fact that our health , it's it's lifespan . So here we're trying to . You know , you're trying to grow your child to be the healthiest that he can be , so they be the most optimal , but then you're also have to additionally think about your long-term .
Yeah , which is not talked about .
Like two , two aspects of this . It's one you're trying to financially help individuals . Think about both of that so one to grow your son to be healthy and happy . And then one now , how do you live ? As cause , you probably want to make sure you're living as long and healthy as possible too .
Yeah .
But you know then , but also you're also thinking of it . Well , what if something ? You always want to have the what if right .
The just .
I don't think people are in the what if stage . To be truthful , I mean . I'm , you know , just in my health alone . I was grateful to have that . You know , just be like okay , I want to my long span , lifespan . I want to change and have a different perspective . So you're not only trying to get yourself healthy for your family ask you for questions .
What do you think is the major advice that you give them , like or question what's the first question people usually ask you when , when they're reaching out to you ?
where do I start ? Um ? And at the end of the day , I only do insurance planning . I don't do any type of investments .
But my suggestions though I feel like I think people need insurance , so 100 because you're building a foundation right , the plan B .
If something were to happen , you're covered . But I would say the majority asks where do I start ? And I would just say , gaining clarity , like you want to know what's coming in , what's going out . I've had conversations with families that when they really dig in , they have two accounts of Netflix . They have to .
You know it's just digging in your current state , because if you already know what you have today , where you are , it's going to be very , very easy to make an informed decision as of where do you want to go . So it's just understanding your current state . If you have any type of coverage , if you have an employer coverage , how much is that ?
Just understanding what's coming in as an income , what's going out , how are your expenses . You need to understand it regardless , because sometimes there's a lot of expenses that go into a credit card . You're not thinking about it , you're not monitoring it . You know it's just gaining clarity . That's the first thing I would suggest . And secondly , not procrastinate .
You know there's a lot of people who think that they have time and as time passes by , obviously the risk is higher , the price gets higher , right ?
Oh , that's true , To put into these insurance plans so that they're more prepared . Have you found that there's a certain time frame , like you recommend , people starting when , as soon as they know that they may have a disabled child or a special needs child ? Or just do it because you're just trying to plan ?
Yeah , I would say , at least start with a conversation with a professional . It doesn't mean that you need to commit Just by having a conversation with me , doesn't mean that you're going into the call thinking that you're going to get invoiced or , you know , into an agreement .
You know , at the end of the day , it's having those conversations because , for example , the other day I talked with someone oh , I already have a policy . I said , perfect . Now one question . It means you're proactive . That's amazing . Does that policy also consider you're a guardian ? He's like what do you mean ?
Well , if you pass away and that guardian needs to assume
¶ Balancing Family Life and Progress
responsibility for your child , they may need to leave work and become a caregiver . Does that policy consider an income for that future guardian , just in case ? And that type of conversation . We're not talking about product , we're talking about scenarios , we're talking about what ifs .
And that's the type of conversation when I say everything starts with the conversations to be able to talk about all these scenarios , to be able to just , you know , bulletproof whatever you're trying to do .
I mean , it's not only important to understand the future stuff , but I wanted to ask you kind of a deep dive in the sense of for your health . When you were kind of going into these insurance policies and you're looking into , like what do I do , were you really like , oh my God , I could die tomorrow .
Or you were like , okay , what can I do to make sure I live like until like I'm 90 ? Or were you just like , okay , I got it .
I got to just no , my , my , my thought process at that moment was thinking the worst , Like oh my God , what am I going to do if I pass away tomorrow on an airplane because I was traveling ? What happens to my wife ? Because her health was at that moment was kind of , I would say , sensitive . Okay , and you know , we thought about the worst .
I wasn't thinking about , okay , I want longevity , I wanted I was thinking about the worst and start doing a diet and start changing because I want first , I want to be present , but I want to also be healthy and and that's where we started doing some changes but at that point we thought about the worst , which I assume .
But then in a way it impacted you to transform and to pivot in I mean , I'm not saying business , but to pivot into this blog . It's an advocacy plus business , you know it's not just one , it's not really full . I mean , yes , there is an advisement there , but then there's the point of giving people information that they need .
I mean that's why I started my podcast . I mean to give just the passion project , for you know people to learn and more information on a different way of thinking and health and you know , integrating your conventional and your you know holistic thoughts . So get it . I get where you're coming from and wherever that turns for you .
Um , what , um , if you could you know , before we go , today you know , what insight or tip would you like to leave the audience ? One about yourself in this journey , and to one that you've that's helped you with you and your , your , uh , your son with you and your , your , uh , your son .
Yeah , I would .
There's a couple um , I would say um it it's hard to be able to function while being exhausted and um , I think it's good for parents to understand in this podcast that they're not alone , that a lot of the thoughts that may be going through their mind or frustrations , you know we all go through it and that's why one of the thoughts that may be going through
their mind or frustrations , you know we all go through it and that's why one of the reasons why we developed the blog is to , you know , just share awareness that there's always a community that they could build . In our case , obviously , your circle becomes smaller , but just try to build that circle that suits you . Always try to .
You know , in our case , we didn't want to go into the victim mentality , so we just said OK , there's a quote by a coach that would say hey , it's not your fault , it's not your fault . Ok , it's not your fault , but it's your problem . In our case , fault . Okay , it's not your fault , but it's your problem .
In our case , we would just say it's not our fault , but it's our responsibility and let's try to make us as positive as possible to be able to not only provide the support he needs , but for our own mental health , to understand that this is a process . We are not , we just try to adapt activity to be able to help us .
There's nothing that I don't you cannot go wrong by doing activity right , like , for example , in our case . That's why we inclined towards putting in jiu-jitsu , walking every morning , eating healthier . We didn't want to go inclined towards the medical part of you know , just bombarding everybody , even ourselves , with pills or anything . Just , we don't agree with that .
Anything can change . But as of the moment , we're 100% convinced that what we're doing is what we believe is the right way , which is providing a good environment , healthy environment and everything we're doing and we're seeing the results . So that's why and we're not looking for perfection , we're just looking for progress for all of us .
So I would say that oh , that's great , I mean , I think it's . I mean , like you said , it is progress , right , it's a work in . I think it's . I mean , like you said it's it's , it is progress , right , it's a work in progress .
It's a little bit , little by little , and then your , your insights in one day could help someone else for another time , you know , whether it's financially or just , you know , getting them to get through the day . You know , with their , their little one or their older one could even just be an adult and they're just finding out .
Hey , I have other options out there .
Yeah , and for example , in our case we have a little one , amanda . She's three and you know she's taking speech now she hasn't been diagnosed . But you can see also that there's factors that you're going to see along the way when you have a child that has autism or any other diagnosis and a child that doesn't .
And in our case , for example , we're trying to balance out how we raise them to be able to include everybody the same way , trying to not show any type of not be more empathetic with Christian and not Amanda or vice versa . We're trying to remain equal .
But at the same time we see stuff like , for example , amanda's in speech now , because Christian at one point was nonverbal . He started talking but not conversational . Obviously that goes into her too , because she doesn't have anybody to talk to . So her delays , we believe , come from that . So again , but but we're okay with that .
Yeah , I mean , once you put her in more schooling and work , you know more social events , and it's not a little . You know it doesn't mean it's a different child . Yeah , correct .
So we're not worried Again . We're just pacing ourselves with what we need to do and just provide , be a support system for them . So , no , that's important and I think we need to do and just provide , be a support system for them .
so no , that's it's important and I think people need to . You know , keep an open mind right 100 yeah , I really appreciate you being on the show . I mean , is there anything else you'd like to leave the audience before you go ?
no , no thank you ?
how can they reach you first ? What's your blog ?
Perfect .
Yeah , it's wwwtheautismvoyagecom and I'll put that on the in the show notes . Okay .
Yeah , they're going to see the blogs , they're going . They're going to be able to subscribe to our newsletter , which goes out weekly providing practical tips for parents , and , yeah , everything's there .
So , by all means , and then also the one for your financial resources
¶ Connecting with The Autism Voyage
. Of what website is that ?
Well , it's there . It's there , Okay , our services . Yeah , there's a tab that says our services and you can see everything there .
Oh , perfect , okay , All right , so I'll have that in the show notes for everyone too , and I greatly appreciate you being on and thank you so much for your time .
No , thank you .
And thank you guys for joining in to the Mindfully Integrative Show and make sure you make it a mindful one every day .