Recognizing hypomania, reducing worries and anxiety, and improving your life today

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everyone. This is Damien with the Mindful Bipolar Podcast. It is December 3rd, 2019. I hope everyone is having a good week so far and you have a good week ahead. Today is a special day for me. Today is the birthday of my oldest daughter. One of the best days of my life. I hope everyone out there is doing well. Today, in this episode, I'm going to talk about recognizing hypomania, strategies to reduce your worries, things you can do when you're feeling anxious.

And a great article I read, Four Things to Improve Your Life Today with Bipolar Disorder. So, you know, I was... Definitely, absolutely struggling for a while. I went through mania for a couple months and then fell into a depression for a little while.

It's been good for me because I have relearned the things that I need to do to keep my mood stable and to remain episode free. Things that I had been doing. For a couple of years that I just forgot to do or just wasn't doing because I was, I was hypomatic and I felt good and I thought everything I did was right and everything. that I thought was true. But, you know, it was definitely a struggle.

In this article, it's called The Essential Guide to Recognizing Hypomania, and it is on bphope.com. And the author is Cary Cantwell. She says, when I'm hypomanic, music sounds beautiful, food tastes delicious, and I believe everyone loves me. I think I'm invincible. I frequently refuse to accept. when I'm hypomanic. Yes, for sure. I convince myself and insist to others that I'm just happy, but that's an illusion, she says. Hypomania isn't an emotion, it's a chemical imbalance.

just like depression or anxiety, and the elation that accompanies it is false. It's a mirage, induced by brain chemistry that's out of whack. Yeah, I mean, when I am hypomatic, everything is beautiful. I mean, the colors look differently. The sky looks so pretty. The sun is gorgeous. And I just want to do everything and be everywhere and make friends with everyone that I meet. And it's, you know, it's fun.

While it lasts, but, you know, it never lasts. It always leads to a mania unless, you know, you start taking care of yourself and you start doing things differently. She says that hypomania, because it feels good, it's tempting to refuse treatment. It's a high that's addictive, and like all addictions, it's dangerous and unhealthy. I wish a few months ago that I would have recognized the hypomania for what it was and started making...

better decisions and started to do things differently to avoid the mania that followed. But I didn't. I stopped exercising regularly. I was not eating very well. My sleep was poor. I mean, there were nights when I didn't sleep at all, sometimes a few nights in a row. Most nights I was only sleeping maybe three or four hours. And once in a while I would sleep, you know, the 7 or 8, but those days were very few and far between. You know, hypomania never lasts. It's just a stop.

On the way to mania. And mania is scary. Kerry Cantwell says. When I'm manic. My mind races so fast. I can't think or sleep. And I make dangerous. potentially life-threatening impulsive decisions i've broken relationships and myself in the throes of mania she also says that suicidal tendencies increase when mania is thrown into the mix. Thankfully, I wasn't feeling suicidal when I was manic. I mean, I was definitely out of my mind.

crazy emotion-wise and mood-wise, but I could definitely see where that could come into play.

You know, the one thing that I was doing when I was hypomanic and manic, I did stay in contact with my psychiatrist even between my visits. to get a med change or what I could do differently that would be helpful, but I didn't always do them. And my psychiatrist would make med changes, but I wouldn't always follow them. I wouldn't always...

Take my pills. You know, that's the biggest thing. I mean, I wasn't taking my prescribed meds as prescribed every day like I had been. You know, I was like... I would take them when I wanted to or when I thought I needed them. But, you know, missing a few days, doses, you know, not good. You know, stay on your meds, everyone.

Talk to your doctor and be honest first and foremost with yourself, but also with your doctor and your therapist. I mean, our doctors and therapists are there to help us with our moods and to recognize. when we might be getting depressed or manic and to help us through those times. You know, sleep disturbances, it's such a big thing, you know. I felt like my brain was going haywire. Kerry Cantwell says that regulated sleep is one of the most important self-care techniques for bipolar disorder.

She says, sleep irregularity throws me off the deep end, and it's a vicious cycle. And that's for sure. Overconfidence, she also talks about, I mean, I was... way way overconfident I thought I was you know the be-all end-all to everyone and everything and everyone loves me and I can do this and I can be great and I'm gonna get a great job I'm gonna make this

much money, and, you know, I'm going to do all these wonderful fucking fantastic things, because I am just pretty damn good, pretty damn cool, and it's, you know, but it never lasts. It never lasts. You know, I feel like the entire world wants to hear every little thought because I'm that damn interesting. And, you know, and overconfidence, everyone.

It's a dead giveaway for hypomania. And not listening to others. You know, doing most of the talking and social situations, another sign of hypomania. when you can't even wait for someone to finish a sentence. I used to do that to my girlfriend all the time. We'd be having a conversation. I'd be cutting her off all the time, and she would not even be able to finish. And it was...

I know it was driving her freaking batshit crazy because I was manic. And another thing that she mentions is spending money that I don't have. I... absolutely overspent over those few months. Several thousand dollars on credit cards that I'm embarrassed and ashamed about that I will be paying off now for you know, in the near future. So I don't want that to happen. I can't afford for it to happen. I am still not working. I'm still living on disability.

So I need to monitor my spending at all times. Not eating enough, you know, I already talked about that. My nutritional... Nutritional needs definitely suffered. External stimuli, you know, I was hypersensitive to external stimuli. You know, the colors look brighter, the smells are more pungent. You know, even faint noises were deafening, and noises bother me even more than they normally do.

I would even turn music down a lot because everything was too loud. It was too stimulating. And my irritability, oh my God, my irritability was out the door crazy. It led to bipolar anger and a couple incidents at my girlfriend's house that I wish had not happened. I broke her phone and her iPad at one point because I was manic. And I got into an argument with her son and pushed him. And he got stitches when I was manic. None of these things are good.

You know, I'm thankful that she and I are still together, but I know that she was at a point at least a few times where she was ready to give up. I don't know what I would do without her. I mean, my girlfriend is a big reason why I'm here doing these podcasts and living a good life because she has made me a better person. So I am lucky and grateful. You know, the most important thing to remember is that the lack of self-awareness that we...

that we all have with bipolar disorder, it necessitates outside observation and communication. So stay in touch with your doctor and your therapist. and with the ones you love who understand the illness and can help you navigate your way through these episodes. Hypomania, it can be curtailed. and recover from much more easily than full-blown mania. That's for sure. Once you're mad, it's like all bets are off. If I would have done things...

in the throes of the hypomania, like take my medicine or take more medicine or the different meds that my doc prescribed. If I would have started exercising more or monitoring my sleep better. eating better, you know, none of these, the mania would not have happened. You know, but I, you know, I have so many regrets I just, I can't live with those regrets. I have to move forward and know that I can be stable for a long while again and be positive and optimistic about my future.

Another article that I read is called Seven Strategies to Reduce Your Worries, and this is on the psychcentral.com blog. The author is Margarita. Tartakovsky. She says that we need to identify what we can and can't control. That worry... convinces us that obsessing about a situation is somehow productive. Maybe we realize it's not, but in the moment, it's tough to pull ourselves out of the what-if storm.

We need to refocus on gratitude. And that's something that I have been doing a lot recently, focusing on my gratitude. I've been using... The Shine app, I just started to use it. I got a trial going and it's been helping me with my gratitude and with my moods. You check in, you talk about what's going on with you, what you... what you plan to do for the day. They give you readings on different subjects, and they also give you meditations that you can listen to.

They're helpful. I mean, I still use the Headspace app for meditation, which I've been doing again every day now. But the meditations on the Shine app are also very helpful. In this article, she says that we need to appreciate beautiful things. The scars on your heart that show you have cared for something deeply and will again.

The sounds of the world around you. The body that carries you through each day. The fresh start you woke up with in the morning. The bed you get to come home to each night. The moment of awareness you get to experience right now in the sky. She also says to use the reminders to start a notebook with two columns. The first column, you jot down your current worry. In the second column, you note how it will be okay. And remember that even if your worry does come true, you will get through it.

You know, my worries and my anxieties have been tremendously bad, you know, over the past few months. I'm still taking the hydroxyzine. I've been taking even more of it. I've been hoping that my doc would prescribe me something stronger that would help with my anxiety and my worries, but... So far, he has not done that. I used to take Clopin and Ativan and Xanax, and I was addicted to all of them. And they're so hard, those pills, to get off. So I'm making do.

with the hydroxyzine and I have been exercising almost every day again each week and I have been meditating every day and I've been trying to stay productive. One of the things that I've been doing to stay productive, a little while ago, I ended up getting transcripts of all the podcast episodes I've done, and I've been... working on those transcripts and making them into an e-book that I'm hoping to finish sometime soon and make available to everyone through my website.

initially and maybe eventually through Amazon. In the article about worries, she also mentions that we need to pinpoint unhelpful actions. Our behavior can bolster worry or transform minor thoughts into major meltdowns. So we need to reflect on what tends to exacerbate our anxiety. Anything from drinking three cups of coffee or scrolling through social media to watching a depressing show.

She also suggests thinking about a past scenario where your worry quickly went from 0 to 100. What accelerated that freak out? She also mentions to thank your worry. It's just worry is often posed as the enemy. But that doesn't mean that you let that worry run your life. It means you're taking a more compassionate stance.

For example, she says, you might write, Thank you for your input, Worry, but I choose to believe this position will work itself out in its own time. She also says to draw your worries. That's one thing I've never done. Even if it's sketching stick figures and shapes. The benefit, she says, resides in using a different way to express what's swirling inside. So maybe I will do that. The last thing she talks about is meditation. You know, I...

I absolutely, positively believe in meditation. It has absolutely helped me in my life since I started doing it a couple years ago. She says meditation is powerful. for calming overactive thoughts and refocusing your mind on the present moment. You know, and I would say that's definitely true. You know, your chest expands when you're breathing in and out, filling it with relaxation. You notice your muscles loosening. You exhale through your mouth and visualize hope. What does it look like?

What possibilities are you expelling into the universe as you breathe out now? It's a very good thing. I highly recommend meditation to everyone. Another article that I read, I'm not sure where this one came from. It may be from Psych Central, but it talks about four things you can do when feeling anxious. And the first one is grounding. And that's one thing I never used to do. I had a friend of mine on this podcast a while ago, Becky, and she talked about grounding. I think it helps her.

with her anxiety. And, you know, it says, when you become anxious, you look for a way to ground your anxious and emotional self in the... immediate physical reality. The article says to touch objects close to you. Some people prefer touching wooden objects or rocks. You may even carry something with you that has a special

significance for you. And that last one is what I've been doing now for the past couple weeks. I have a couple rocks. I got them from my girlfriend. I carry them around in my pocket. I hold them in my hand when I'm feeling anxious, when I feel like I need to, you know, be back to my physical reality. And, you know, maybe it's minor, but it has been helping. And I have been feeling... a little bit less anxious. Breathing, you know, breathing is a big one.

That's the biggest thing with meditation is working on our breathing and concentrating and focusing on our breathing. In this article it says to think of yourself as a person on the shore. and your breath as waves arising from the belly of the ocean you notice the waves gently crashing against the shore over and over again like variations in the breathing rhythm Sometimes the waves are bigger and stronger, sometimes smoother and gentler, and like breath, the waves are always there.

Another thing the article mentions is to analyze when you're feeling anxious. Write down what is happening, how you're feeling. And what your automatic thoughts are. I have them all the time. The automatic thoughts. The automatic pilot. And then analyze your automatic thoughts. Is there any evidence to the contrary?

Is it possible that you are thinking this way because your friend rejected you or because you didn't do this or failed to do that? Could thinking this way make it more difficult for you to find friends? So, you know, all good things. And the last thing she mentions is acceptance. Many people working toward accomplishing important goals also experience occasional episodes of anxiety and depression. However, they do not let these episodes stop them.

You have to remind yourself of your goal. Tell yourself that you are doing something positive. Or for all of us, that what we've been through, what we've gotten through, and that we're still here. And we don't let uncomfortable sensations or unpleasant feelings stop us from living the life that we value. You know, we could all, wherever we are, go home and stay in bed all day. But we are out there challenging ourselves and becoming the heroes of our stories.

The last article that I'm going to talk about, it's called Bipolar and Life, Four Things to Improve Your Life Today. This was on the bphope.com site. The first one is to connect with other people. I definitely have a tendency to isolate myself with this illness much more than I ever used to. I was definitely a more outgoing, gregarious social person. But connecting with other people, you know.

Having friends or talking to loved ones or even co-workers, you know, absolutely good. In the article, they mention peer support groups, you know. allowing individuals and families to learn from others who have been in their situations how to best monitor and manage symptoms. Peer support is something I still have my hopes on to do one day. I missed the deadline for the training this month, but I definitely think that would be good for me to help others.

what I've learned the second thing in the article is to take care of your body you know beneficial changes from regular exercise that's That's for damn sure. It says just 15 to 20 minutes of physical activity will stimulate the production of brain chemicals that make you feel happier, more energetic.

And increase your sleep quality. You know, all good things that all of us need. And I went for a walk this morning before I did this podcast. And it was freaking cold outside. But I pushed myself. Because I know... that the benefits are so good for me. The third thing, they talk about care for your thoughts, that thoughts influence moods.

We need to recognize the role that our negative thoughts play in causing us stress and the settings in which that tends to occur. Then we need to cut those thoughts off at the pass. as soon as they start to form knowledge is power and it heals self-knowledge plus action introduces one of the most effective players which is us in our recovery. The last thing they talk about in this article is to keep track of how you're doing, you know, a chart or graph.

on paper to monitor your daily moods. There are many smartphone apps. I use the Mood Notes app, which is very helpful, but even sometimes if I'm not... Using that app, I just write in the notes app or I just write it on paper, you know, things that I'm feeling or things I want to talk to my doc or to my girlfriend about that are going to be helpful to me.

You know keep track of our exercise our weight alcohol intake, you know other variables everything You know that's important to us So, you know, it's the last month of the year and, you know, I hope everyone has had a really good year so far that it's been a... a great 2019 for you, or at least a better 2019 than 2018 was. And here's hope for all of us that the next year is an even better one. And I just want to also say, please, please, please, if anyone wants to reach out to me,

to email me at any time with any questions or comments or just to talk about what's going on in your life. Please feel free to do that. You can reach me at 6... s-i-x dot s-t-e-l strings at gmail.com and I will more than likely get back to you in a day or two. And I'm always happy. I am always happy to get emails from my listeners. And there have been several. And, you know, we've talked, exchanged emails back and forth.

I hope it's been helpful to the people who have reached out to me because it has been helpful to me. I welcome it and thank everyone who has already emailed me. I hope everyone has a good Tuesday today and a good December 3rd. I'm going to call my daughter later to talk to her and wish her happy birthday. It just reminds me of...

you know, great times, you know, it's 24 years ago when she was born, you know, one of the best days of my life. I hope everyone has a great day. Thank you very much for listening and I will be back in a little while. Thank you.