Hey there. It's Melissa. Brunetti and welcome to the mind your own Karma podcast. Hey, their karma Cruise. So glad you're joining me for another episode of mind, your own Karma, the adoption Chronicles, and as promised I have another adoptee story for you today. Emily, Albert is a 40 year old domestic infant adoptee from Grosse Pointe, Michigan. Born outside of Chicago, Illinois. Emily identifies as multiple neurodivergent and has special interest in writing composing music.
Ting art and learning about psychology. These interest. Have each played a major role in her Evolution as a human being. And as an adopted person, learning to embrace her own identity as a creative. She recently started a Blog on sub stack called out of the fog and uses that space to articulate her experiences in relation to separation from her natural mother. And how adoption has impacted her life, here is Emily Albers, adoption story. So, we're welcoming Emily to
mind your own Karma today. Hi Emily. Hi, how are you? I'm good. Thanks for coming. Yeah, this is gonna be great conversation. So let's just jump right in and why don't you tell us why your parents adopted you what were the circumstances and fertility. So my mom Couldn't have children or she was really struggling to have children and my aunt's wasn't able to have children at all, who is older than her.
So, she, I think kind of started making the assumption that that was just going to be a problem for her as well. So she and my father, I think they were in their late 20s. When this started when they had started the whole application process for adoption. But found out that my dad was too old for Catholic Social Services. Wow. So they took an alternate, alternate route. I didn't know Catholic Services, had an age limit. They were in their 20s.
They were their late 20s. My my dad may have been in his early 30s. So. Wow, that's the story. My parents have told me. Wow. So I was reading an article that you wrote and you said that you found out that you were adopted at 4 years old. Do you remember that conversation? No, I don't recollection.
But I've asked questions all throughout the course of my life to my parents sometimes multiple times just because you know how that is with adoptee as we, those pieces of information are like gold to US. Yeah, so I think I sometimes needed to hear it more than one time and it's not that I wanted to see if the story changed its just to see how I processed it differently as an adult versus. When I may have heard that when I asked as a Teenager. Like, when did you tell me?
My mom was pregnant with my sister. So she ended up getting pregnant with two of her children. Using fertility intervention. So I asked her were you this fat when I was in your tummy? Then she was like, well, not all babies. Come through mommy's tummy and I don't obviously have any memory of like, what else happened
after that? But something that came up recently for me that I've Had to start processing was, I always thought this was funny like something that I thought was funny, but then I added the blue realized like how not funny. This isn't actually how messed up. No one explained to me that I was born and then no one clarified like the father situation. So I have a memory of arguing with my dad after 10 years old. So I think anywhere between 10 And 13 where I was like.
You have to know who my biological mother is like you had a baby with her and so it just occurred to me, I didn't know that my dad wasn't my dad until I was between 10 and 13 years old and I don't even get sunk in. And I honestly I just turned 40 and it just sunk in and I'm like, what was going on in my mind? And no wonder I was so like Moody and like weird after that conversation Interesting. Wow.
So how did you feel once you kind of you know when you when it was sinking in that you are adopted. How did that play out in your childhood? And as teenager, do you do did you see areas net Looking Backward? Option affected anything in your childhood 1000%? Yeah, well my parents also got a divorce so that was like really hard And my dad brought a woman into our lives that I don't I do not get along with.
So that was something that I think people wanted to latch onto that I was struggling with this stepmom situation. When in reality it was more about my adoption issues and like repeat abandonment and I was very moody and I started having Really bad stomach problems like stomach pain. There was a number of times that I went to the hospital because I was having abdominal pain. That was really bad.
I was accused of being a hypochondriac like a bunch of times and I'll never forget there was one nurse and I've this is something I've latched on to just to preserve my sanity. She she said no there's like abnormal bleeding. Just a little bit and she was like I don't think that we should let this go when It turned out to manifest into having endometriosis and PCOS and all of this other stuff that I would go on to struggle with.
But I do think that the stress had manifested so badly that it was causing a lot of these issues earlier on. Yeah, yeah. How did it affect relationships like as a teenager did you date? How did that work out? Well, I was really quiet. I was also undiagnosed autistic, so, What people I think are more familiar with the term Asperger's, but that's not a thing anymore and I also have ADHD and that's what I think was presenting itself at the time.
That's all that kind of had come up aside from PTSD and Trauma from the separation issue. But I was told by other people that I was really quiet and the beginning of high school, which is strange, because I am not a quiet person like, non-compliant adoptee a just like super, you know, intense Once but I always went for the bad boys and I started drinking early and that happened after. I met my biological mother, but the relationship stuff that was the hardest for me was the stuff
that was going on at home. After the divorce. This is my belief that my brother who's just a year and a half younger than me, his biological, he was really hurt by my parents divorce, like very badly, I like drawing pictures bad, you know. And I feel like he took that out on me a lot. And so there were times where I heard, no one loves you, no one wants you, shut up, you're annoying. You're this, you're that you're fat, you're ugly, you can't play with us, you're adopted.
Well, and there's one time that is like forever burned into my brain. That I went downstairs to like the family computer. How it was back. Then late 90s or early. Is it was like, you know, the computer was in the basement and my brother had left AOL. Instant Messenger open. And there was no a message that said out with my real sisters and then he named my sister and one of her friends and left it out for me to see and I was
devastated. And I have a very toxic family system and so I recognize that my brother was in the same toxic family system as I men. But there's this recollection of my behavioral Problems, but not of that stuff. Yeah, well, that's something that's persisted. I mean, is this is never stopped since childhood the ongoing. Yeah, stop these Saga. I know. So then in that article also, you referred to your adoption as a fraudulent, baby broker adoption.
So what happened? What were the circumstances with that? So course of advertising my biological. My mother ended up when she was 19 years old. Going from North Dakota to Chicago. She was threatened. She was you know made it impossible for her to back out of anything that she had gotten herself into. It was just a really scary situation and there was an ongoing case against Easter house which is more of a law firm than an agency. That I don't think they were
licensed. When I was adopted, there was no home study and my parents handed over, what would be the equivalent now of the Thousand dollars in cash to a person representing this lawyer, see more Kurtz at the Dearborn Hyatt in Michigan, so like rate, kind of as you'd be going out of town to go chicken to Illinois. It was you know white babies for sale in the 80s was like a big deal. That's like that was the thing. Is this big?
It was like a, I see it. Everywhere was just like that people were making insane amounts of money off of marketing White. Bees to wealthier families. Wow wow. So so did you meet your biological family? Then it sounds like you did. Once you tell us about how that came about, it sounds like it happened early, like, in your teens, I was 15. And I guess to Circle back to AOL. Instant Messenger. Found my biological mom on AOL
people. Search by actually finding somebody totally separate and she It it ended up. I was just asking questions about North Dakota and it all like kind of came together and the random person I asked this question to work for my grandmother and by the end of the day I was like on the phone with them. It was the most intense thing of all things. How did you know your mom's name?
So after I was born, I think it was about six months my biological mother called my parents house and she had made friends with somebody. To get this information and my mom answered. And she just said, hi, you know, I'm I'm Dawn and I, I gave birth to Emily. And I just wanted to know if she was okay. And she told me that she was like remembers that very clearly. And remembers my mom being really nice and that she was like, I think I would have like
hurt myself. Just, if I wouldn't have known where you were and what was going on, That's how like, traumatizing, you know, the stuff for everyone. My mom remembers this. She's like, she had the softest voice and she's like, and I just commend her for doing that. That took a lot of courage and Dawn feels like that scared. My mom, and it just didn't, so yeah, I'm surprised your mom reacted, that way. I think my mom would have been, like, filling threatened. Like, are you coming back
together? Like, haha, my mom's not like Like doesn't really fit the profile from like what most adoptees who are involved in the community talk about. Hmm. And she's really kind of like she's one of the most kind people, I know. Mmm, and she's here for me forever and that's important. Yeah, I know. My mom is too. It's one of my best friends. So what about your dad? Do you do meet him? Find him. I did, and Was a rough one that didn't happen.
Until my later 30s. I took a DNA test because my biological mom didn't. She didn't know who he was. She actually had his last name incorrect. I mean, they were teenagers. So it's not to me. That's not like that weird. But so I get the DNA test back and I was actually more just wondering about my Heritage and I knew all this stuff about My biological mother's side but nothing about the other side. Kind of with a genetic mirroring piece. It's like, I think I wanted to
see what cultural situation. I was coming from just so I could see myself better. Yeah, that's, you know, I was grasping for straws with like, I don't know if you've experienced this but like I thought I was weird looking and like, different strange-looking person like, for my entire life and I didn't know how to explain In that. But my face just did not sit right with me forever. I was just like, what is got like, you have?
Such a strange, look, I thought it was I didn't look like anyone in my community, and then I realized it was like my family. And that, yeah, I'm taller than everyone. My bone structures larger than everyone my Smiles. Someone a little bit similar we all have dark hair and dark eyes, so it kind of fits in but that was kind of a crisis for me. So that's why I took the test.
I ended up being linked to To the Chesley family, which isn't my biological father's family because my grandfather was adopted, so, it was like that double adoption situation. Mmm. And so, it made things a little bit tricky. But there's my cousin Kimberly. She is this major, you know, genealogy fanatic.
So she had put together this massive family tree and we were like, okay, we have to figure out like where you fed and so we're trying it. And I'm like I think it could be this guy and she's like it can't be because in around when you were born he was in jail and I was like okay there's like nobody else that this could be on this test.
Like literally I'm like and his brother was dead before they were just the two boys and so I was like a has to be hemmed if his brother passed away in 81 and you know I'm having this conversation out loud and like not knowing any things going on and then finally actually A couple of years later, somebody took a test and I matched with his mother's side so it became clear that that was my father and I was like somebody totally
different. No, it was the guy that I was talking about where they were like, couldn't be him. He was in jail and I was like okay. Uh and so I then came to find out that he killed his brother Matt then. It was all the court documents. I guess it's manslaughter people in the family, don't see it that way. I don't know what to believe because I've heard some stories from him that are pretty traumatizing. Yeah, that was really hard learning. That was really hard and
something. Also that just hit me recently. As I keep saying he killed his brother, not my uncle, like I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, maybe to other people
outside of our community. They would Like, well, you know, not really because urine family or whatever, but it's hard for me to always wrap my mind around the relationship of these people and he actually still, I don't think he sees me, I think he sees me as his kid and that I'm not a part of that family which is fine by me. Hmm in that situation. So that was rough. Yeah, so how I mean that is your dad, was he in jail? When you're, I mean, I happen
like right before or what? No, he was because there was cocaine and alcohol involved. He was in a rehab facility and that's where he met my biological mother and they hooked up in her car. Okay, then there's me. Yeah. So what relationship do you have with your biological family? Now my biological mom, I don't know if this what her to hear this but she feels like a big sister to me. Mmm, totally get that.
I was adopted by Boomers and she's a gen Gen X. I almost said, Jen see, she's Jen acts and my parents are boomers and so is my grandma. So my grandma was like Teen Mom. She was kind of too. So it's this weird shift. We're like my grandmother is closer in age to my dad, My adoptive father then. Then my biological mom. So she and I are both. I mean, it's creepy. I'm one of those situations where it's just like, whoa. Like I'm like her mini me. Well yeah, that's a weird.
Especially like what you're saying you grow up, not having anything mirrored like that and then you it's like looking in the mirror. I believe it. Prevented me from discovering crucial parts of my identity. Not knowing a lot about what was going on with her, because she and I are so similar and have so many, similar undone, seas and interests and just all of this stuff. So, I feel like, I'm like a late Discovery person.
And for myself, like, you know, how I am now is nowhere close to how I was when I was still in the fog. Yeah, well, I like you were saying, even those little nuances like you were talking about, Uncle and you don't call
him your uncle. It's just those little things that are huge to us and you know, like you don't realize it till you know that you were doing that because things that other people just kind of take for granted and we have to struggle with with the relationship with her birth mother, I kind of felt the same way. I felt like my birth mother was like a cool aunt or a cousin or, you know, something like that. Because we were so much alike. We looked alike. We had like this.
The same inflections and our voice or like even movements and stuff even the way we laughed. Yeah. We kind of laughed the same, you know. So it was kind of like that was kind of like having a best friend relative though. You know. Yeah to me. I totally get it. Yeah. So what about your dad are? You're still in contact with him and well um exact off a little she kind of freaks me out and he believes like all of this crazy
stuff. That's Happens in his life with, you know, his brother and his family that Lake Jesus has saved everybody. So I'm like, you know, I'm not going to criticize your belief system but he tries to impress that on me quite a bit. Mmm. Yeah. And I wrote in my journal, which I didn't see until recently, from my first trip that I said, from my first visit with him, did he care more about me or like, Like converting me or saving me or jamming, the Bible
down my throat. Do you know what I mean? And, yeah, it was really hard. Yeah, trip was rough Montana. So you did say, though, in that article, that your biological father made, you feel seen? Yes. What did you mean by that? I have a lot of issues, physical mental health, all of that stuff.
And To see where it's coming from and to just be able to freely, talk about invisible illness and not have people say, I don't get it or judge you like, I've been judged my entire life was like, actually very incredible experience and it made me stop wondering, like, where is this coming from? Why is this happening to me? You know, the mystery medical history? Mmm, I was going to the doctor 8
billion times. Something was always wrong with me. Always trying some new experimental stuff, always, you know. Mixing it up with medication or, you know, whatever and doctors being like, what the hell. And then I end up learning a lot from him, observing him. Then him actually, he'd sees told me some stuff about the physical, but I've observed mental health issues in him that I don't think he's aware things that were passed down to you. Maybe, I think he copes with
mental illness with a religion. So, I think he thinks You know mental health episodes are like the devil trying to take him down or I don't know it's hard for me because I'm very into psychology because I felt like I had to be out at a young age so I can clearly see things but I also don't want to make like harmful assumptions and you know label has him as anything that he may not be right. How is your relationship with your adoptive siblings? Then, did that ever happen?
Y'all are so I don't know about the adoptive siblings situation. Oh, the adoptive siblings. Sorry like we did. I talk about my biological siblings. No, I'm estranged. And it's been that way for about two and a half years. It's the most painful thing I've ever gone through in my entire life. Their nieces and nephew involved. No one's interested in communicating and I'm talking about like there's just no family communication.
There's like a ton of gaslighting going on There's a ton of you know, just assumptions being made and people not being kind or compassionate and it's honestly been one of the most soul-crushing experiences I've ever had. But the space that I have had has helped me see so much that I've needed to see about myself and my family. So I hope that we can reconcile one day. That would be the dream. Yeah. So you guys don't do holidays like at your parents all together.
Oh no, they Dead behind my back, my dad. And I went to my dad's office and saw were like, the Detroit Athletic Club is this huge, like, kind of family deal every year for us for the holidays, and there's a portrait every year. And I walked into my dad's office to have coffee with him. And there was all of the, the two new babies that I don't even know. Like, all of these people, my family in this portrait and I just was like, oh my God, like you couldn't even tell me that.
That was going on. Wow, how hurtful I would understand? Well, and it's because I'm the I'm the one that I initiated the estrangement I believe my siblings like to believe that this is they're doing, but it happened. When I found out that I didn't know my actual birthday. My biological mom was like, you know something I haven't told you your whole life.
Because I was like worried it was just going to really hurt you and this is during the pandemic and I just collapsed, I had my first major depressive episode and the way back up here, how did you not know much about what happened with the birthday thing? Okay, the birthday thing is is it's not unbelievable. I talk to a family lawyer in Cook County in Illinois, which is where this occurred, the baby broker had the girls give birth At a hospital.
In his hometown, in Skokie, I not in Chicago where they were living which I think is so sketchy. So I talk to this lawyer and I was telling him the whole situation and he was like the 80s were like, you know, a hot mess and just, there wasn't the internet that technology was different, people could change that, you know, documentation of things was just not as closely monitored. And so it's possible that they tried to close the gap on her to
not be able to To change her. Mind by changing my birthday by a few days, but also birth moms are really traumatized in their trauma can cause Amnesia. So, I don't even know what's true. And it has been really disruptive every year. It's like, I feel like my brain goes completely sideways around my birthday. There's no hospital records to look up. I've tried the Just like, it seems like every place that any of us seem to look have like either at a flutter burned down
or like, you know. Yeah. So it's just like what the hell insurance rates must be insane at this point. Then for agencies, if you're all burning down and flooding, I know, I just am trying to let it go and just with the birthday that I know just to, like, keep it moving because I problems. Otherwise. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So you we brought up the biological siblings for a second. So how many biological siblings do you have? And so, are you in contact with
them? Yeah, one brother and I have more than that, but he's the only one I'm in touch with and he is the nicest human being, and he is in North Dakota with my biological mom and my other brother from her as kind of out of the picture. And then there's Not really a clear understanding with my biological father, he believes that he had a daughter before me, but I don't know. There's also a boy. I guess it's really scared that situation is really. I don't know how to explain it.
It could literally be a movie situation is like it's scary. It's like Off the Grid. Like weird people praying over me in tongues when I'm visiting kind of crap. My gosh, so, like, you know, they grew up in this, this town of less than 1,000 people all in. It just doesn't seem like their social structure or rules were as composed as how they were all over the place. I don't honestly, what, I don't know.
It's real it with him. So you didn't come up with anything in your DNA about that side as far as siblings. Hmm, so let's talk about the fog and you said that you came out of the fog. But, you know, it kind of sounds like it's layers. There's layers of fog that you're coming out of and still coming out of. So you want to talk about that for a second? Yes the kind of precipitating event in my mind, it seems to
change. Sometimes, I don't know if that would resonate with people but I think the more I learn in the more I come The fog, the more I realize I was starting to come out of the fog maybe earlier than I thought. I had this event. I was leaving North Dakota and I was going to my boyfriend's house at the time in Salt Lake and I pulled into his driveway. And I called my sister to tell her that I found out my biological father, like, killed his brother and I was devastated.
And she goes, why can't you just be grateful for what you have Emily. And I was like, I lost it. And this poor guy that I was seeing our holiday is just we're not fun. It was like, because it was just what I was searching for my biological father. I was doing all this stuff so it was just becoming clear to me just how like screwed up. Things were mmm. And that my biological mother called me and was like, I heard you were looking for your biological father.
And what do you know? And she like knew about this and it Like then I realized I wasn't totally told everything and then everything just started to get strange. And then I left the relationship that I was in and we were we went, we went to the ring store and we were like talking about getting married and having children and I had had a laparoscopic whatever Blake's laparoscopy. I had the whole thing with endometriosis and stuff so I can
have a kid. I remember that and then he was like we can't do that until you move back. Back to Salt Lake and you're here permanently and I was like, okay. And so I went back and it was just evident to me that I didn't know what was going on in my life. I had no idea like all of these things just kept popping into my brain. It was scary. It was just regulating I had undiagnosed mental health issues. I had premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which I was trying to.
We were trying to escalate getting married to have kids, so I could My uterus removed and many are trees removed. So I could have some mental health relief and it was a mess, it became totally chaotic. So, looking back, you know, I've apologized to Andrew and I it's a very sore subject for me that relationship because I feel like that was like the only time that I was prepared to have children with someone to get married to somebody and I can't have children now and I don't have
any. So, it's hard to look back on because I made all of these choices after that to, you know, to figure out who I am in, to work through my trauma, instead of staying in that relationship and in some ways, I feel like I sabotage everything with him because I thought he would leave me if he, like continued to Experience that chaos and I felt like he deserved better and I may not have said things at the
time. That would lead him to believe that, but that is how I felt and it was heart breaking, it was gut-wrenching. Leaving that house, was so sad and it did not go down. Well, ultimately but so things after that, just started to kind of unfold and I started learning more about the truth about my adoption and some really messed up things that went on And I was listening actually to think that that was my coming out of the fog and that there were maybe a
couple of other events. I was like, all right, I'm out of the fog like I know what's going on. I'm going to be writing in my blog and like talking about adoption and then I go and listen to your podcast just to like get familiar with the whole thing. And Greg Gentry said, foster care about being an observational period. I didn't know.
That and it came crashing down. Like I have literally been a mess for days over this and it was like, I started realizing that was the one piece that I didn't know why was I in foster care for three and a half weeks, like why was I there if my parents wanted me so bad and they were waiting for me and I had been delivered and they knew about me. Why didn't they just come get me?
Yeah, and so I heard that And I can't believe and again, not something people outside of the adopted Community would understand why that's a big deal to feel like a commodity like that is disgusting Comet izing and I therapy last night and I told my therapist and she was like, you know, this like one abandonment after another is like, of course, going to cause attachment problems. So then my mom tells me. Well, now this makes sense like you.
To be so wild. When I would try to put you down for naps and as a child, like I was not having it like I was not okay with her, putting me down for naps and I was like, I probably thought you were going to leave me and then it clicked? Yes. I think last night or maybe a little before I was like, wait a second.
Like I can't take naps. Like I cannot, I tried and I have, like, I can fall Asleep sometimes, but like, in terms of being like a person who can just close their eyes and take a nap or like right, you know, it's a chore for me. I have like electricity going through my body. It feels like when I try to take naps and there have been times that I've woke up having nightmares and dreams about my mom dying and is this really that connected like is that
possible? And you know, I'm reading a lot right now in a book club about epigenetics and it's just like stuffs So intense, I don't think people if we aren't even aware of how Insidious and awful this trauma was, we can't remember what happened. Yeah. How are you supposed to heal from this? And of course, people are just going to minimize it because they don't know what to say. Hmm, exactly.
Yeah. Super uncomfortable subject and people just don't want to have these hard conversations, or They think it's unnecessary and just like, why can't you just move on? You know what I mean? That's like, I have to answer this so you can. Thank. I'm a downer crazy nightmare all you want, but I have to get to the other end of this myself, right? Yeah. So true. So you said that your adoptive parents are on the adoption Journey with you.
What do you mean by that? They have really my mom has like, kind of created a space for me where I can talk about anything that's adoption. Dated staying with my dad and nobody is saying that didn't happen to you. No one's saying this isn't real. No one is saying B, note, whatever. I think they feel bad because they didn't believe me about like a ton of things for a long time. And I was becoming obvious that
I have these problems. So they're just trying to help me get through this as much as they can. And my adopted father lost his mother when he was an infant. And I was like, you realize like you have the Primal wound, also, his brother's adopted and all of a sudden it was like, probably because I made it about him, he cared, but it was like a lot of things. Yeah, what helps you cope with your physical and mental struggles. What's worked for you? Because I always see like,
therapy and stuff works. But then a lot of people seek other more non-traditional therapies to that seemed to help adoptee trauma. So what it helps you? What have you found myofascial release. Massage is really helpful for me. My God. That's so painful, right? Died. Having that done, I love it. It. I sweat, it's hurt so bad.
I found an adoptee myofascial release specialist in Cody Wyoming when I was living there briefly and we had the best sessions ever and she was like I can see like you had some birthing trauma around your neck and I'm like oh you have to go with John F Barnes trained myofascial release specialist. They're the ones that can like tap your energy into like moving around your body. Instead of being trapped, he's kind of like the Godfather of that bracket.
Yeah. I didn't, I did not feel any release, like I was tightening more and I even told her because I can handle pain. Like I'm you know, and I had to like cry Uncle. I was like, that's really hurting. And she's like, well, you can cast if you want to. I'm like, no, I'm telling you to stop but you're like my, I'm just saying. Don't do it anymore. I'm gonna punch you right now. So and I so that helped you. And what else?
Writing I have a sub stack blog. That's called out of the fog and it is pretty depressing but it's where I like to make my mental connections about all of this stuff and I love to write so that I am getting back into composing. What I would call Contemporary classical music, which I started doing when I was very young cool. And my Arts which is like my just life wine. And I've made a couple of pieces that are about adoption that.
I think you can really tell that they are probably everything is but you can see in a couple of my pieces, I think what I'm doing and it's also conscious. I'm like a an artist that really is more about the process and about the outcome. So I just don't ever go into anything with a plan. Commissions are really hard for me and that's what I do for my job. So I often take like end up running through like way too many supplies and too much
canvas to like get to the point. But you know, people saying, I like this color and I like this color and I'm like, yeah, start the painting. And I'm like, that's not what it is in its best interest, doing it? Yeah. I used to make wedding cakes in the same thing. Like they say, I want this met, and then you start putting it together near like. That's not gonna look good now. And stop doing it too much. Stress is like, I can't make that look good.
You know you're not going to be happy with it. I was thinking about doing a show at some point with adoptee kind of artwork. Yeah, that would be cool. Yeah, just to show, I mean, the stuffs dark, it's like my biological mother tells me that my Works disturbing all the time, but that's me and I can't, I can't take that away from myself. If I want to do stuff that might be disturbing to other people or look disturbing to other people than. So yeah, I'm done living for others. It's over.
Yeah. So do you sell like Prince of these sir? Can we see them somewhere? Do you have them? Yeah. On Instagram at Emily. Albert art and then I don't have my Etsy store open right now where I did have a couple of prints. They were more like I had a Ruth Bader. Tribute print kind of fell, pretty big in 2020 and so I just use that platform for for sales for that but I'm working on a website slowly, but surely.
And I think I need to get through the commission's that I have before I can start making art for me again, and to start, you know, opening that kind of thing up. And, but my Instagram for right now is probably just the best way to look at what I'm doing. I'm also on Facebook at Emily Albert art. Is anything for sale? Everything's for sale, that's not listed as a commission, I'll sell whatever. And okay, I really believe my art is meant to just art in general.
Is meant to be shared and that's I don't need to hoard my own art even though I love some of it. There people do experience that too. And what about your blog is that public? Yeah, anyone can read that. It's will put all those links in the show notes. Make sure you get those to me so we can put them in there. So you say you are a Neurodivergent adoptee and I've never heard of that before. Can you tell me what that is? Well, it's multiplying neurodivergent, is the term and
multiple neurodiversity. 'S although I don't think that really makes sense because you're just neurodiverse, which I noticed a lot of adoptees identify as neurodivergent or neurodiverse. Whichever term you choose to use but multiple neurodivergent means that I have a number of things going on 80 HD autism. I have bipolar, which is a new diagnosis and hilarious that it was a shock to me and nobody else then I have OCD and complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
And so, those are some major neurodiversity, zits, some pretty challenging things to live with. I'm a highly sensitive person. And so, Medications don't really work for me. So I'm on very low dose medications and I have to work at self-regulating and being Mindful and it's like everyday is a chore to get through with this kind of brain but I'm not giving up. Hope, I recently recently started taking Lithium which changed my life and I'm on a very low dose but it is lithium
sobriety and artwork. I always liked. Those are the things. Is that are really getting me through right now. Yeah, and how important is it for you to have that support system? Not only like the adopt be support system, but even outside of adoptees, it sounds like you have some friends that are there through thick and thin. So, how important is that for
you? Well, for somebody like me who has I hate how stigmatized mental health problems are and how stigmatized trauma is. I have a really solid Eyelid like group there, it's actually less of a group and some of them are friends with each other, but I have quite a few girlfriends and guy friends and Michigan where I am, and I'm very open about what goes on, in my life, just to be clear, like, this is who I am and this is what's going on. If you want to stick around, stick around.
If you don't then get the fuck out of my like. Yeah. And so I have friends that are in no community and are just awesome friends that I have. And Would drop anything to have breakfast with me if I'm feeling down or whatever. Because a lot of people I think can relate to either a family member having an issue that they love. Or if they have issues that they're unaware of, and they just feel like it's relatable, I don't know. But this recovery Community has
very quickly become a 7:00 a.m. meeting is for me. I have to do it that puts my brain right on track, I have a sponsor who has said to me, you're going to have to fire me. In order for me to leave you, well she's very aware of my like abandonment sensitivities and she is never once minimized the the traumas or anything or like she doesn't say stuff like. But if you think about it this way or what do you know, she's
really like girl. This is some heavy shit like and but she's in, she just but in a good way, you know what I mean? Who says that to adoptees, we don't hear that like, Don't sympathize with it, they don't. That's all you have to say, really. It's all you have to say is damn, that sucks. I mean, yeah, I didn't, I've never thought of it that way or whatever, but people get so uncomfortable and they just shut down but that's cool. It is cool to have friends like that McGee.
So lastly, what would you tell struggling adoptees, what do you want them to know? Well, I think I said in that article that I wrote, like if I can do this, You can do this too. I have a lot of problems and I'm not minimizing anyone else's issues. I'm just saying that. If you have issues and you're struggling, there is a way through. It is, just very complicated abstract and in not going to be clear to you, how you're going to make your way through.
But the one day at a time mentality has become crucial for me acceptance that, you know, this is one of the steps is acceptance and admitting powerlessness. Over something. And just as much as I'm powerless over drugs and alcohol, I am powerless over my Primal wound. And so if I can submit to that and just accept, what's happening and not fight or resist, experiencing emotions in a healthy way, things do get
easier. These episodes of being just struggling and going through just these painful things, it will resolve life gets better. If you feel stuck, I love doing this. I Journal. And I write down a list of things that I've done for the day and I'm like, well you can't lie to your Journal, so then I make myself do them and that is been a way to push through some of the mental paralysis. That I think you can have when
you're severely. Traumatized also does to stay connected with other people even if you feel a resistance to it, I know that the adoptee community triggered me at first really badly, I really struggled with that and then I'm trying to just put myself into situations more where because I was the only adoptee I'd ever heard. I probably, you know what I mean? I didn't want it.
I was like this is all this shit in my time coming out like no. And then I wanted to say all the things other people said to me, that we are toxic to these people. I was just bad at first, so I like that got a hard time, but getting involved in staying connected and talking to people like yourself. It may have friends. Yeah, we have to educate the world. Is there anything else that you wanted to cover? That I didn't ask no I just appreciate the conversation.
It's helpful to me and it helps me on my journey like I said to talk to other adopted people and to connect with new people which hopefully I will after this comes out and yeah, just thank you. What a great conversation I had with the Molly and I am so glad to have met her. She is such a great soul. Cole. And I want to thank her again for coming on. Mind your own Karma and helping educate the world about adoption. You know, mental illness is a huge thing in the adoptee community.
And so many of us have gone undiagnosed and it is important to get diagnosed only because it helps you understand you. And you can use that as a superpower. It's really a gift. It's part of your essence. Part of who you are and it's part of what you were put on this planet to do so, seek professional help and testing if you feel that you might have a psychiatric disability. Thank you. Emily for opening up and being so honest about your multiplying neuro Divergence.
Now if you don't know Emily and you aren't friends with her on any social media platforms. I have her links in the show notes and you have to check out her art. I can't even explain it. It's so inspiring and hauntingly beautiful. So, go find her and check her out and friend her on Instagram and Facebook. Lastly, if you are ready to tell your adoption story on mind your own Karma, you can email me at mind your own Karma at
gmail.com. If you want to know more about me in the podcast, you can go to my website, mind your own Karma.com, as always. Take what you need and leave, what you don't And always remember to mind your own Karma. I'll see you next time. And always remember to mind your own Karma. I'll see you next time.