Episode 009 – 10 Tips for Emotional Regulation

Summary:

In Episode 009, Joseph lists the 10 tips for emotional regulation. Every day is filled with its stressors and we’re left with the question—how do we respond? Do we let our emotions guide or lead our response or do we have control over our emotions? Emotional dysregulation—like getting upset—is a very common occurrence for all of us. In this podcast, Joseph will give us a more rounded view of how to perceive our emotions and the ways in which we can better regulate them—for your benefit and for the benefit of your relationships, too.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

• 00:01 – Introduction to Mind Your Mind Podcast
• 00:28 – Today’s topic: 10 Tips for Emotional Regulation
• 00:55 – There are different levels of emotional dysregulation
• 01:13 – “Emotions come and go, but they feel so strong”
• 01:23 – Emotion comes from the root “motion” which means movement, they are there to guide us, push us, and motivate us to action
• 01:48 – Be aware that emotion comes from the amygdala – the body’s alarm system
• 02:30 – We can slow emotions down in order to decipher what’s worth reacting to and what needs to be controlled better
• 02:50 – “Emotions are a temporary state of mind, don’t let them permanently destroy you” – Anonymous
• 03:00 – 10 Ways to Keep Yourself Emotionally Regulated

o03:11 – Want to print out this list? Go toMind Your Mind

o03:34 – #1 Buy time and take a break

o04:38 – #2 Identify your needs

o05:07 – #3 Call out what’s going on

o05:35 – #4 Break it down

o06:14 – #5 Distract yourself

o06:37 – #6 Choose the higher road

o07:29 – #7 GIVE in regards to relationships—be Gentle, Interested, Validate, be Easy

o08:13 – #8 DEAR MAN—which describes how to be objective in difficult times—Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce & Mindful, Associate, Negotiate (Dr. Marsha Linehan)

o09:24 – #9 Accept yourself while rising to the challenge

o09:54 – #10 Seek outside help

• 10:26 – The more time you have, the more you calm down
• 10:35 – Quarantine the issue – don’t exaggerate it
• 10:51 – Learn from your past mistakes and past successes
• 11:25 – Send your questions toMind Your Mind
• 11:33 – Question from Brittany in UK, “Joe, I find myself having extreme mood swings daily and feel out of control to manage them. Will therapy help me?”– Joseph believes in therapy. When you’re working with a therapist, ask them about their past experience. Identify the behaviors that you’re doing that are getting in the way and causing the mood swings. Discuss what’s at stake that will encourage you to make a change.
• 12:41 – End of this week’s podcast!

3 Key Points:

1. Our emotions are a part of us and act as signals to us, but they can, with training,be regulated and not become out of control.
2. You DON’T have to react in the heat of the moment and emotion – give yourself time to process.
3. Our past successes and failures are our greatest teachers – if there are triggers in a relationship that cause dysregulated emotions, STOP that behavior and do what works.

Resources

• Calming the Emotional Storm - book with solid tips and skillshttps://www.amazon.com/Calming-Emotional-Storm-Dialectical-Behavior/dp/1608820874/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491445932&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=calmiung+the+emotonal+storm
• DBT Skills Workbook - Joseph’s favorite book on emotional regulation.https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1491445922&sr=8-3&keywords=dbt+skills