Tales from the Darkside S04 E11&12 (Love Hungry, The Deal)

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Welcome back to Midnight Viewing, the horror anthology podcast, where this season we're taking a look at George Abramero's nineteen eighties series Tales from the Dark Side. Sharing the Midnight view with me are the projection Booths, Mike.

White, I Sure I Am Hungry?

And the culture cast Chris Stature Love Hungry. Tonight, we're taking a look at the next two episodes of season four, the final season of Tales from the Dark Sign. Those are Love Hungry and the Deal Love Hungry Season four, episode eleven, originally aired on February twenty first, nineteen eighty eight. Written by John Stissick from a short story by Roberts Ganaway, directed by John Stisick, starring Sharon Madden, Larry Gelman, and a bunch of fruit.

This is the story.

This is the story of a telemarketer struggling with her weight and she tries the latest fad diet. What did you think of this, Chris?

Oh, dear, wow, fat people can't stop eating?

Well, are you fat?

You know?

As a fat per it? Really? Fat people really are monds.

That's true. That's true. All they should be shunned and ridicule.

Yes, yeah, exactly, Mike, you read my mind.

Man, I think the thing for me that has always been so low hanging fruit, no pun in, especially with this goddamn joke of it is when you have a fat person, they're fat by Hollywood standards. First off, like Sharon Madden.

She is a normal midwesterner exactly like I see women like her every day, every secondly.

It once again does come back to and Mike, you always mentioned this. I hate when characters portrayed drunk. I hate when characters are written as fat because.

It's just I can't eat and nothing else.

All I do is consume what the fuck you want to give people that are overweight a complex.

You're doing a good job doing it because.

That that kind of horseshit that Monica on friends.

Fat people can't control them all.

Don't you a fat suit?

I do?

I do.

It's the last vestige of minstrelery.

Yeah, I will say Brendan Fraser, he didn't have to go gain three hundred pounds to do the whale, and they get it.

The suit weigh just as much as fine.

Whatever all of that to say, don't care for these kinds of stories because they are very Again, no low hanging fruit, and they are very one note and they are very unimagined. And the payoff for this episode is idiotic, I think, is the nice way of putting it. It is so childish that the conclusion to the episode could have been undone by a pair of scissors.

Wow, she died because she was an idiot. That's what the episode is telling me.

And I find it hard to get behind a character that is this dumb, a episode that is expecting me to believe a character can be this And it just seems like everybody but Larry Gelman was having a good time, or like everybody but he was the only one having a good time Larry Gelman because he seems to be knowing what the assignment was, which is being this kind of lovelorn more But I could not abide this episode. I cannot sanction as Tom fool What about you, Mike?

Well, apparently anybody that loves her is going to be good enough for her, even though it's Larry Gelman. I mean, I love Larry Gelman. I've loved him since I was a little kid and we'd see him show up and everything from the Monkeys to Bob Newhart all the way through so many great roles, Barney Miller's Barney Millers, Yes, exactly love when this guy shows up, she is just like, Oh, this guy likes me. But she doesn't seem to care about that. She's just so centered on the wist trying

Yeah, they made the California raisins look like a real oh my god, like real feet of stop motion animation.

These were like this was sock puppets in fruit.

For Yeah it was. This wasn't good and it would have been done so much quicker, and had they even it took me the longest time to even see the pincushion, the tomato pin cushion, and then I'm like, oh, she must sew, and then suddenly she sewing her mouth shut. I'm like, oh, okay, had I seen a little bit more of that bee, that would have been good had she been a seamstress rather than a telemarketer. And come on, guys, we just saw a telemarketer last episode. What's she gonna do? Now?

Would you tell us? Did you like this episode?

I loved it.

It is my favorite episode of all time.

My round, morons and food.

Chalatan's fourth of you.

You claim to like horror anthology, you become Kelsey Grammar.

Apparently I invite you both to have sex with yourselves. Listen, here's my take on the episode. Glad I had never I this is one of the very few Talness in the dark Side episodes that managed to elude me until now. So this is a first watch for me as well.

And she's like, who is this?

I'm like, okay, is this the central mystery here? And is it her plants? Because clearly they could go that way now the plants are just another fucking thing to show that she's a spinster or like an old maid here because her weight is keeping her from getting out there in the world.

We just saw a woman talking to everything in her house, like four or five episodes ago, just coming in and talking with everything and those things. Fine, there was that guy across the way, remember that, and him calling her and like, hey, let's go off for a date and her just freaking the fuck out. Yeah. I kept thinking like, okay, yeah, those plants are going to start talking back anytime now.

And let's talk about these the fruit here, the rubber like they went down to I don't know, just like like a KB toy store maybe or an Fao Schwartz and they just grabbed a couple of rubber fruit and then they pasted eyes onto them, cut mouths into them. Hey, talking fruit. And I love that each of them have their own personalities, the professor character and the tough guy banana, and like the sort of the dame pair, or the best one I think was the was the roast beef and the refrigerator.

Hey, you got a problem with me, I'll give you some indigestion.

If I put in an earpiece from a company that arrived unbidden from people who knew who I was and where I lived and everything about me, and when I sat down to eat, and anytime people cut into or bit into food, the food screamed, I would my next order of business is removing the ear piece. I don't care if it's stuck in there, quote unquote, I certainly am not going to put on the glasses from the same company, the same mystery weight loss company, because those

What is she supposed to eat for everyone?

I guess is it just because they hate fat people too?

Yeah, but so I guess they want them to all starve because or turn them into savages, Like we're look, at a certain point she was gonna eat. I don't care if she fucking had the things food was getting in her. This is mental and by like all the transitions in this episode are super weird. Like at a certain point, the fruit sing her to sleep and she just falls asleep at the thing. It's like watching a children's production of something like it's I don't know what's happening.

Oh it's amazing. The story got made. I'll tell you that much.

I will give this one thing. When they and when they're in the Mexican restaurant, she passes out the way she that was awesome, like that, that looked great. But that scene points to another thing. When I was saying about the sort of the portrayal of fat people, if if look, I used to be three hundred and fucking forty pounds too before gluten free fucking kicked me down. So I know full well the shame about going out with somebody for the first time and not wanting to

Full and go, oh, what's gonna do?

That's I don't know, No, I'm with you, yeah, as.

Yeah, this was written by thin people and directed by thin people.

That's what I have to say.

Correct, yeah, as a fat person. It is not directed by someone who's so yeah.

All of these fat sort of episodes, these very special episodes, always come from someone who isn't or they came from fucking Louis c K who is a fat man, and then wrote the most model and treacly, fucking bullshit episode that people were praising for anyway, they did it on taxi. I had to fucking deal with it there too. Couldn't believe I had to deal with it here on dark side.

Oh yeah, yeah, they're fantastic. They're really really good.

Right, the best. I have never had a worse What.

Tom Dash is an aspiring screenwriter. He'll do anything to sell a script. Scratch that, he'll do anything to have creative control. Scratch that, he'll do anything to run a studio. Mike, what you think of this one?

He didn't even sign a contract. I mean, he just said, oh, I do anything to do this. I'm like, and then Alan Garfield's oh okay, yeah sure, And then the next day of the phone's bringing I'm.

Like, that's consent, Mike.

Is that that? Because no means just come on. I think that I'm Ron Glass in Sherman Helmsley. I would sell my soul to solve this problem, like some thing like that you have to say, rather than I do anything to sell this script. And yeah, what a waste of falent with this one. I was so thrilled when I was, Oh, Bradley Whitford, isn't this Oh this is great? Alan Garfield and he's playing multiple roles. Oh this is going to be so great. Man oh man, oh man,

Would you think, Chris, I'll make this joke now, because I don't think I've talked about him and anything else.

Can you guys hear him?

No? Nope?

Okay, cool? Never mind.

Then, what a disappointment that this isn't the lead singer of Aerosmith, though I'm sure if or not the lead singer, but one of the members of Aerosmith, because even if he had been in it, this is the fly in the ointment, as it were, or the exception that proves a rule. This is the first bad one of these. It's really disappointing how not good this episode is because this feels like a relatively safe bet a devil character

What the fuck? Wait?

Is sell it to the devil? Is on my soul to the devil by accident. It's playing very unfair, and that's the problem that I have with the rules of the episode because nothing I'm saying you need to follow the rules strictly. But if you're gonna do something interesting with them, do something interesting with them, don't just ignore

Just it, which is a shame because I really like him. He's a good actor. Father Blane, what about you?

Are you saying the Devil isn't playing fans in this episode?

What are you going to do?

I'm the devil?

Hey, Hey, Lucifer, Loucifer.

Here's what I'll say in favor of the episode. Obviously, the performance is good.

I'm smiting here.

A jolly devil is at Alan Garfield's portrayal of the Devil. Early on just giggly and fun and then this all great. I was won over by that. He does sign a contract. Actually, Mike, I know because I've wrote it in my notes, because the effect was actually good. Where as soon as it was signed, the ink started smoking on the page. It was clearly a physical effect. So he did after the fact. That was the second thing.

That was the second thing that he asked for, not the first thing, right, the first thing.

He first thing.

The first thing was graddess. That was just to show that he could get it. And then he was like and then he was like, yo, man, I'm the devil, and now we're gonna have to sign a contract for the rest and he's like, okay, cool.

So I think the.

Devil came up to me and was like, Yo, man, I'm the devil. I'd be like, you seem pretty cool.

That would be a tactic the devil to employ because no one would believe him, and you'd sign up, and then he's got your soul.

Yo man, I'm the devil.

So Bobby on the phone must be Bobby de Niro, right, the actor that he's trying to get the whole time.

Yeah, yeah, I assume.

So one of those things again.

Yeah, I was like, okay, speaking of.

The Alan Colter of it all and the Sopranos. In that episode of The Sopranos d Girl where they were doing the same thing where it's well Quinton and Paul and it's like, are you talking about like Quentin Tarantino and Paul Thomas Anderson.

Okay, Yeah.

Alan Colter directed a lot of the early episodes of The Sopranos, a lot of the big ones, he directed to College and Isabella, and a whole lot of season two, so we've been watching a lot of Alan Colter's stuff. He also directed Hollywood Land.

Speaking of things not knowing its own rules. This guy is an aspiring screenwriter in Hollywood. He says he's been there for ten years, and he doesn't understand that even if he were to make it as a screenwriter in Hollywood, then he's still on the lowest rung on the fucking ladder that they're just going to do whatever they want with his screenplay. That's a surprise to him at some point.

Which is where's Richard had him when you need him to tear this episode? Then?

Really really the other insanity of that, and then he's like, I want creative control. So let's make you a studio head. That's not what a studio head does. They don't write the scripts and then put the deal together, and then out of the fucking blue we get a third character, or a fourth rather, which is his girlfriend who we've

There any other roles in that movie?

And if not, you're running a studio. Give her her own vehicle. Why is this thing doesn't understand its own self? This was written by people working in Hollywood. What's happening?

Allegedly?

Allegedly, No, they definitely do.

I mean again, like they don't understand the rules of Hollywood. They don't understand the rules of making a rule with the devil, a deal with the devil, a deal with the devil, to the point where the name but the episode is the deal, as in the deal that Bradley Wood for makes with the devil.

I know a guy personally in Pittsburgh who can make blood like you can taste this baby.

That's a vinie. I'm assuming that they were mentioning there, right.

Oh yeah, that's the only reference I really enjoyed.

Yeah, I think we missed a living Dead reference on that last one.

Wasn't the Night of the Eating Dead?

Honestly, Alan Garfield just reminds me of.

You're talking about Max wolf Of, owner of the Saturn Theater.

That's right, and it's crazy.

The guy plays Zodiac in Twisty the Clown.

Are you talking about John carol Lynch, John.

Ca he was. You can't prove that, right, I was.

I wouldn't tell you that's right, right, Sorry, sorry, Arthur Lee. I'm Arthur Lee Allen.

Yes please, yeah, no, it was my father. My father wrote and I'm gonna a whole book all about it.

Right, every year somebody's dad has been the zodiacullar. It's very strange than usual. He just has that energy John Carro Lynch energy, John Caro Lynch can when he was playing Twisty to Clown, he had that whimsy but kind of fear and terror about him, and you know the devil.

He is the devil still.

He's just presenting himself in human because his real form is too horrifying to interpret with our eyes. That's isn't that what they always say?

The cherry on the cake. And this particular fucking episode is at the end, when they finally go to the credits, they do this terrible synth score version. It's not even the version, it's a faux version of Hooray for Hollywood. So it's one of these vaguely you go, is.

That lay for Hollywood?

And it's like just on a profit five, it's the worst sounding thing ever. It's just Hey, just to remind you that this was one of the worst episodes you've ever seen, Let's play.

You out whoa one of the worst?

Yeah, it's the worst of the make a Deal with the Devil episode.

That's a given.

But again, like, if you know what you can really high bar.

Right, but if you make a bad deal with the Devil episode, that's the worst episode of your series.

Like it's so.

When you do this poorly and you when you fuck up the specific things that this episode fucks up so badly, like you don't even understand and you don't even understand the concept of making a deal with the devil, Like when it's one of those things where when you watch like those cooking shows and someone's they make something that's not what they're asked to make, but they try to pass it off anyways, and the judges like, this is disqualified just on the grounds of this isn't at all

I know it was an episode and not a Devil episode, but this reminded me a lot of Let the games begin, Where was Earl Hinman or Hindman in that hotel room and it was David Growe and James Jane Summer Hayes. Oh, whoever leaves with him gets his soul, you know that whole thing. Yeah, that was horrible. This is worse though, I think this to your point, this is the worst make a Deal with the Devil episode we've seen so.

Far well, and all of them have been good. That's the other problem. Give you're the only bad one, then like you're.

Fucked as it is, because this is the first this is the first genuinely bad one.

We've seen I vote no, don't watch this one.

How about bringing that back? I like it?

On the next episode of Midnight Viewing, We'll be taking a look the next two episodes of season four. Those are The Apprentice and The Cutty Black Sow. Midnight Viewing is a proud member of a weird and away media group. Our theme song was composed by HP with an assist by Donald Rubinstein. Until next time? What are you working on? Where can people find it?

Mike White? Everything that I work on is available at Weirdingwaymedia dot com. It's the network for all good How about you Chris?

As one of the people who is part of that network, I can agree. Weirdingway Media is the place that you can go to listen to all the podcasts you should be listened, including this one, including The Projection Booth, including

What about you?

As for me, Patreon dot com, slash followm alone. If you want to subscribe, you get shows early and commercial free and such and such, and you know stuff like that. We've got a lot of stuff coming out. I don't know when this episode is airing, so I'm not gonna specifically call out anything, but go to all those places and if you want to hear, if you want to talk to me at all, follow Alone seven to one at gmail dot com. Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight, everybody.

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