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discuss Night Gallery Ron Serling's follow up to the Twilight Zone. I'm Father Malone in with me. Here in the gallery are the culture casts. Chris Statue. There Aren't anymore McBain's are you sure? Also Johnny the Projection bows Mike Away, I'm so into witchcraft on this episode. I think everyone's into witchcraft in this episode and the episode What Is Episode Season two, episode number twenty. This aired on February the sixteenth, nineteen seventy two, and was split
into two segments. Those are I'll Never Leave You Ever and there Aren't Anymore mcveains. Our opening kickoff is deep into the end zone of the moors where hounds bay and which is fly brooms, and the belief in the supernatural is as natural as breathing or not breathing. We call this item I'll Never Leave You Ever. I'll Never Leave You Ever? Written by Jack Laird from a short story by Renee Morris, and was directed by Daniel Holler. It stars
Lois Nettleton, Royal Dano and John Saxon. It also starts Peggy Weber as the Old Crone. She was also in the Different Ones, that one where Dana Andrews shot his kid into space. She was the operator who talks him into shooting his kid into space. This one's a love triangle in eighteenth century England, Wales. Who can tell Thank God a Saxon as present to sort it out. This one's about a young wife who's plotting her elderly husband's death so she can be with John Saxon, and who can blame her? What
did you think of this, Mike? I thought there were some very effective moments. I love Royal Dano or Dano. I'm not sure is he related to Paul Dano or Dano? Good question. I never love Dano. I heard somebody else Dano, and I like crept into my brain that I was doing it wrong. But I think it's Dano. I think they said that in the opening when they said tonight's guest stars, I think they said Dano. And then I want to say that Paul Dano also pronounces his name incorrectly,
You idiot, that's how you say your name. I thought there were some very effective moments. I love a good voodoo doll. Even though this is not kind of a voodoo doll, it's pretty much a voodoo doll, and all the stuff that happens with it, it is pretty freaking amazing. I really love to hear Royal Dano just screaming through half of this episode, and then yeah, it's great John Saxon comes in at the beginning, he's there, he disappears for a long long time, to the point where I
wrote in my notes was that John Saxon in this episode. But otherwise I had a good time with it. I watched it three times and it's not bad. It's just I think watching it three times might have been your second and third mistake. Yeah, again, trying to do ones due diligence here and focus on other things, I guess, but it's just weird. I don't know. I think for me, the issue was I feel like I've seen this story before in this show, and it didn't need half of the
episode to tell this story. And yeah, like you've mentioned, Mike, there are clearly some kind of fun little gags that they use the freshwood doll that can't be burned over whatever the hell's going on in half of this with
that little wooden doll. But similarly to other episode segments of this show that we've talked about, sometimes they just push the gag and push the gag and pushed the gag and they just keep going, and it's like, maybe instead of doing it that fourth and fifth time, just do it three times and then we cut ten minutes out and we can have another segment that's a little
interstitial, a little palate cleans there. But even then it's like they don't even do the palate cleansers anymore, because the palate cleansers those blackouts are now just blown up into full feature linked segments. It's like, whoa, guys, that did work? That did work? Why we deviated from it?
Because every segment now feels like it's expansive and they're telling this like whole thing with all these moving parts, like I wish for the days of Children's Zoo, and I know that's Twilight Zone, but they were using a similar format here. I did not like this one. I think this is the worst
directed episode in the entire series. The whole thing was really murky. There's a lot of silhouettes going on which do not feel as if they were planned to be that this felt familiar, Chris, not necessarily from this series, but it definitely felt like a Tales from the Crypt episode. I like that what's described as this horrible old man turns out to be just this devoted, invalid this character at the lead character like really horr horrible. Let me come
comb your hair, come over here and let me comb your hair. I hate you, you fucking piece of shit. Like whoa like? I guess maybe this has been going on for a long time. I guess is what we're supposed to believe is that she's at the end of her rope because she just has to take care of her husband till death do they part, which is what I thought the fucking term was here, and till death seems very very soon. The problem here is that he's lingering. He can't linger that
long. Why does she have to enact anything? It just doesn't make sense. John Saxon says this to her at the end, like why did you do this? You could have just waited like a week. Maybe you just take him. You push him in front of that open window. You leave the open window wide open exactly for her to get the flu, and that's it. You just go push him from wherever she ends up jumping from.
At the end of the episode segment, I had a real hard time figuring out what was going in that room after she so what she puts them in the bag? She sets them on fire, yes, then she throws them. Does she put them in water to put them out? He just like jumps out of the fire. It jumps out of the fire, okay, And that's it. That's right. This doll has self preservation. Yea? Is it mimicking him? Is it mimicking him too? Is if it's an avatar for him? Can he? Is he flailing around on the bed?
Well? Never know, they're not cuting between them to show us any correlation between the two. They explain no rules here with their Welsh voodoo doll. It's got to be whales. John Saxon's character's name's Yanto. That okay. So we've got a Wells voodoo doll without any clear parameters of how it's supposed to behave and and it's self preserving, which could have been interesting if like she had to chase that doll around in order to kill it, like just
trying to her husband, like a reverse on Trilogy of Terror. Yes, I was totally thinking of the Zuni fetish doll. It could have been great. Also, there's I'm jumping around, but there's an out of nowhere inner monologue late in this episode that suddenly we were in dune like we wants the doll is animate and running around. We get her inner thoughts and it's the first time ever. Okay, she goes to get the doll because she wants to kill her husband. The doll poses no danger to her, she can't.
She finds herself unable to burn the doll, which her method is to just put it on the rocks in the fireplace. She never actually puts it into the flames. And if that's hurting it, okay, I get it that. It's new woods, so it's not going to burn right away, but like, how about crack the head off of it? She doesn't try anything. She goes and throws it into a swamp. Where's the axe? Get the ax? Yeah? And then that's my thing is when she throws
it into the swamp, does the room become a swamp? Is that what's happening? Is his bedroom suddenly a swamp? Yes? I think so. But that's weird. What is going on in Wales? It's indeterminate really, Like you mentioned it, father Blalan, Like I had a hard time following what was going on because it's just poorly presented and not in an interesting way. How far does that doll need to turn its head to get a look at her? It? Does it five times? There is five separate shots
of this little doll turning its head. I will say the likeness of Royal Dana was pretty good on that tiny carving like that was definitely him. I also like the very nineteen seventies diamond lens flares part of this director's choices here in the episode. Also when she's running, when our lead is running through the forests, they use every sound effect in their animal. It's as if they just went down the line pushing the buttons on every recording. It was
maddening. Is there any suspense here and there? By the way at the end where she's looking for Yanta, is anyone in the audience convinced she's going to find him, that he's going to be standing in that forest waiting for her, and that it's not going to be her dead husband? Yeah, and I agree. They definitely were using those sheep sound effects. Quite a
bad man. Also apparently the price of if you were going to write up a receipt for the transaction, it would read death of elderly husband by black magic. Total two spring lambs. Who knew it was that easy? I love that character. The Witch character is my favorite character in the entire episode segment because she's just like, you stupid lady. Oh my god, that's a tongue action she's pushing. Then did the Princess Bride show up? That was like, was that going on? Was Billy Crystal in the bad?
It's just it was like overacted and this ostensibly everything else was meant to be serious, and it's like this weird just like I don't know which of the woods. That's a very specific trophy kind of character in this kind of stuff. And boy, it's just like right within that wheelhouse, they're not doing anything. They're not doing anything to break any molds here, like at all.
It's very rope. By the way. Okay, so I mentioned she doesn't try to destroy the doll other than fire, but she gets the doll home, she puts it into this sack and he starts. Royal Dana starts screaming from the other room that he's now blind, to show the audience the correlation between the doll and Royal Dana. Two things. When she goes into the room to check on him, his eyes are closed and he keeps saying I can't see, And all I could think was open your fucking eyes.
Man. Then the other thing is so now the wife has figured out that what happens to the doll happens to him, and her immediate reaction is I'll put this in the fire. Jesus Christ. It's the most cold blooded thing ever. She does not get the come up and she deserves in the end of this, she should have burned right. Oh my god, I feel terrible saying that. But something, something, something that would have been deserving of the way she treated her like invalid husband. Yeah, man, I
don't know. John Saxon to the rescue, please, He's just not given enough to do. It looked like he looked I was a David Banner. He looked like watch You Magiggie from the last episode, the Bruce Bixby character with an equally terrible looking fake. I would rather watch that a thousand times and watch this again. Our next painting tell us the story of a young man whose major in school is philosophy, but whose extracurriculum labor is take him
into the area of black magic. And for this you don't get a degree. But the commencement ceremony is a guess. See for yourself, as we offer you. There aren't any more mcbains. There aren't any morm mcbains. This one was written by Alvin T. Sappinsley from a short story called by One, by Two and by Three by Stephen Hall, and this one was directed by John Newland. It stars Joel Gray, Howard Duff, Daryl Larson,
Barry Higgins and Luke. We're gonna have company. Look, we've had a slew of mugging, mealy mouth face pulling, really bad actors playing delivery men this season. But here's Mark Hamill to save the day and redeem it because it's a really fun scene and he's good in it. This is the story. This is the story of grad students and ancient family secrets that finds Joel Gray and leishing a demon that stubbornly won't go away until all of his friends are dead. They tend to do that, which I think of this
one, Chris. I love the line see you Francis such a great fucking line. What's your name Francis Princess? Yeah, Luke, I mean Mark Hamill. Look, Joel Gray is great, but Mark Hamill in that scene looking mighty good too. Again, like just like babyfaced Mark Hamill, Like I don't know that that kind of weird Memento in time aside, these rev Avenge episodes all feel of a piece, right. This feels like that the one where the guy's head is in the wall at the end. It's the
same thing of just don't you see where this is going? Don't you get it? At This kind of feels of a piece of all these. Be careful what you wished for, because the monster you unleash may come back to just kill you instead. What year? What is this supposed to be set in? Because at first I was thinking that they were going to do the old twenty three skedoo and have some like raccoon skin coats and like little pennants and stuff, and then it seems to be jolly old England. Then it
seems to be back in the twenty set. I'm like, when is this? It's so overwritten and the dialogue is so from a book and not rewritten for human mouths. So I had to write this line down. The object of my mild regard lives not to see the dawn. It's a character named mister Standish in this story. Okay, that's you Joel Gray, who's doing
his best Billy Moomeey impersonation. He looks like Billy Moomey in this for some reason, really did Joel Gray. I love the guy, but he just was He was just mugging and chewing the scenery, like pretty much everybody in this episode. I didn't get that his two friends were dying because he unleashed the demon. I thought it would just be his enemy's aka his uncle. And his uncle comes in, He's just don't get a degree in wizardry, and I'm like, wait, they offered that that was so weird. I
this episode did not hold together for me. I loved it. I thought it was great. Wait really, oh totally, I really. I had a good time with this one, beginning then starting with the painting Tom Writ's painting that magician looking fellow. If you were to PLoP a cog in front of that guy, you're ninety percent of the way towards the industrial light and magic original logo. I thought. I think I like stories like this. I think is as far as the revenge in Night Gallery, this one goes
right back to Portifoy with the cemetery. It's the same story except except Roddy mcdowald is the hero of this one. I think stories like this and like lot two forty nine from Tales from the Dark Side for teaching me the value of lesson that if your college roommates starts chanting in an arcane language, you should leave town. Because it seems to happen a lot. Here's a trope that or is this a trope? I'm wondering, drinking jovially to your disinheritance?
Is that a thing? I feel like I see it a lot. This story feels very similar to something that we watch with the Twilight Zone and eighty five stuff. This whole what was it Like We're gonna get together and we're gonna do evil or something, and it was just a bunch of like college yahoos and they're just yeah, they're toasting to how well yeah, yes, and then they're like the ghosts starts showing up right of the Yeah, the ones that aren't able to be there anymore. Yeah, it did.
I think this would have worked better if it had been set in the time period that that was setting, or if the other two characters were characters, because it's Joel Gray, his uncle, and then two guys who were just kind of replaceable. I'm like, after a while, there was one the one guy, the donny most looking guy. I was just like, wait, is he Mark Hamill? No, that's not Mark. And then Mark Hamill shows up and I was like, Okay, that's cool. And then
the guy shows up again. I'm like, some Mark Hamill, No that's not Mark Hamill. I believe that guy's name is Daryl Larson, and I liked him a lot. That whole chase sequence. It had problems because he would get chased into an inescapable position and then they would just cut to the exterior and he would just walk out and then find his way to another inescapable position. That was lame, but the chase itself that this hell hound chasing
him with the glowing right eyes. They did something really cool, which is the lights wouldn't go off when the dog was chasing. They would dim slowly, and I thought that was really effective. In fact, I think the entire chase was actually guinely scary, particularly when it has him cornered in the basement and it breaks the window and suddenly it has human, not human but basically human hands and it rips those bars open. I thought that was really
terrifying. Agreed one hundred percent. That's the most effective part of the episode segment for me is that scene because I did not expect it to have hands, and all of a sudden it has hands. And it's again like that the amorphous creature presents opportunities to do interesting things, and they were just like, oh, now it's a hulking mass that could rip this bar open. And then later it's I guess like a monster, human monster or something.
Yeah, they don't explain why it doesn't kill him at that moment, because this is the force that Joel Gray has unleashed and it's killing everyone dear to him, now his family, and he calls them early on, but he says, I called it back at the last minute. Oh well, that was very convenient that you called them back right at the moment when he was about to come into that room. How about a visual effect to or a sound effect to clew us in that the monster has been recalled instead of just
the guy waking up the next day. Anyway, that's that's nippicking, I guess. I did like when they find the uncle's corpse. It was two characters who are already involved in the show. Remember the Broach episode with Sondra Locke where they suddenly have these two wacky English old men who find look at what we have come? No, that thing, like, what the hell was that? This felt much more mechanic, so made me appreciate it a little bit more. This was a mediocre episode overall. Oh, how dare
you? This was fun? Hell I'm talking about like the episode. Oh, I'm talking about the episode overall, both segments together. Yeah, this segment's better than the first one. I think. If I'm going to do a hell Hound, I wanted to be Tom Scarett. You can't always get him, is the thing? All Right, We're gonna play a preview of our next episode and we'll be right back to wrap things up. Now, this one here, unabashed and unashamed, I submit to you as a dandy.
It dees into an ancient funeral rite having to do with a personage called a sin eater, one who attends awake and partakes of the funeral food, and in the process digests all the transgressions of the deceased, so that he departs the earth a much cleaner and sweeter little item, proving that we've become a bit more sophisticated in our tribal rites, but we are much the poorer
for our twentieth century chromium intellect. You might agree with me after you've seen Sins of the Fathers offered to you now an item having to do with labor and management. An employment office where is offered a collection of potential employees whose skills are unique for in addition to their loyalty, industriousness, punctuality, and impeccable cleanliness, they also run at least one hundred thousand miles without a lube and an oil change. It's no wonder we call this when you can't get
help like that anymore? That's right. On the next midnight viewing, we'll be taking a look at season two, episode twenty one that's broken into two segments, the Sins of the father and you Can't get help like that anymore Midnight Viewing. The Night Gallery podcast is a proud member of the weirding Way Media group and the theme song was composed by h B. I want to thank you all for joining us before we sign off, Chris Dashio, where
can people find you other than the aforementioned weirding Way? What are you working on? Lots of stuff with both of y'all. We're going to be starting a new project here pretty quick, but did a culture cast and all the other things. Barney Miller, Colombo, weirding Way Media. Yeah yeah,
Mike, what about you? Anywhere else you can be found. I was just about to read a wonderful review that I got today for a little podcast that I do called The Projection Boosh, and I thought you guys might appreciate this. Let's see here. This is real, folks. We don't know this ahead of time. This is gonna be a legit reaction, and I'm expecting something good. The Projection Booth Podcast, Raiders, story meetings. Whoever plays George Lucas needs settled down. The editing needs to be better. You
can hear two sentences by the same person overlapping two stars. Settle down. I would love for the person who wrote that comment to read thirty pages of George Lucas talking and then kindly from me to you, go fuck yourself. As for me, you can find me at the I do a show called The Noise John Ki's It's a music podcast I do with HP, the aforementioned HP and Mondo, Heather's Heather and Drain. And you find some of the
visual stuff I do over at Fathermalone dot com. Well that's it. The gallery is now closed.