Ep 74: Self Esteem

Loud and Quiet presents Midnight Chats.

Evening listeners, Greg here with a special one off episode of Midnight Chats. At the moment, we are actually in the middle of taking a bit of a break over the summer. As Stu mentioned in the final episode of series seven that was the one with Georgia, we're taking this time to record a bunch of new chats, the stuff that will form Series eight that will begin at the end of the summer, sort of late August, early September something like that. We'll let you know when we'll

Wow, so many people are here and it's packed.

In, isn't it. Rebecca, how are you doing?

I'm great?

How are you I'm good? I'm good. You've got quite a prestigious few days lined up around this. Yesterday you did be six Music Roundtable, so yes, today is the Great Escape, which is a big deal as we know. And later in the weekend you're doing the Telly.

Aren't you the National Telly? My favorite thing to do in the world.

Yeah, tell me what you do.

I'm on Sunday Brunch.

Excellent, they're looking forward to it.

Well, it's the main music show one can get on, and it's a cooking show.

Or Andrew Maher, isn't it.

Yeah, hope, hopefully we can do the double But are you looking forward to it?

Yeah? I love all that hair make up Telly very bright last time I met Michael Ball, So yeah, I really love you know, like things that properly or the cool musicians think is lain I love it? Or loads I love a sponsored gig.

The more corporate, the bet.

Yeah, I don't know why I do, but I do.

Sorry to not give you any free sort of merchandise as part of this way, We'll try and find something there. So Sunday Brunch. Then I had a quick look and you're on with some people from Made in Chelsea.

Yeah, two blondes annoyingly so I think I'm worried about my representation. I think I'm going to fade into the background a bit. I'm not very excited about any of the guests.

If I'm honest, disappointed No Michael Ball in.

The no Ball, but it'll still be funny. And being there as self esteems feels.

Quite kind of a big deal. I feel kind of proud about it.

So you've done it before, obviously, And what was the experience like?

Very difficult because when I was in the in Slow club, no one else liked that kind of thing, so it was quite hard. And I'm a desperate people pleaser, so I was just like, I felt really responsible that everyone hated that they were on the Telly, whereas I was having a nice time. So this time might be fun because my band role as daft as me, so we'll all be enjoying it.

I mean, I'm assuming a lot of people listening to this will know what a new Bunches is an early morning cooking stroke entertainment show on Channel four and it's hosted by Tim Lovejoy and celebrity chef Simon Rimmer.

Yeah, one of my favorite memories of the last one. Sorry, mel I tweeted, We're on Sunday Brunch to Nap Today with Tim love Geryman Simon rim Job and Mel was like, could you take that tweet down please? But I became buddies with Simon Rimmer after he's dead. Nice, he's been to my Manchester shows.

Yeah, I've always felt like he of that duo es off him.

Yeah, Tim love Joe comes up on solebrity Tinder and has never swiped yes on me because obviously I say yes to all the celebrities because it's funny.

I'm not going to bring that up.

Have they been on any celebrity dates?

I mean said, I couldn't tell you not off that app though I'm deleting that up.

It's rubbish.

Disappointed. So when you go on these things something like Sunday Brunch, do you you're going to perform on Sunday? Oh yeah, do you get to do any cooking?

Well we were trying to get them to let me cook, but I'm not famous enough. I'm like bottom of the wrong and that line up Lewis Capaldi got to but hey, maybe next help.

Them to no jealousy here.

I just realized how much my like I may call this music and I'm like, ah, and I'm so like, I'm very serious about all that. But then still I gauge it by whether or not, like I'm cooking an omelet, I'm telling you or not, that still is success more than like any of my really hard work.

That's fine.

Can you make me one promise if on Sunday they presume me there's a bit where they say Jamie from Maiding Chelsea has made you a steak tutar or some snails or something and you have to try it, will you call them out if it's not very nice? Because most people just the default answer just go there's a sort of pause, isn't there and they go, oh, that is delicious.

I have a feeling I would probably say if I don't like it, I'm to lose.

At this point, I.

Don't think, but yeah, I as with this, like I don't really prep I just think, oh, just just take

In music that they can think of.

Sometimes I thought, And so now I just go, I give everything a seven and say everyone has a right to my music.

And also once heard someone slagging a slow.

Club song off on it and I, instead of having any confidence or self esteem hond was like out, so yeah, I just sa same with the TV, just keep it or very kind of nice.

If you were cooking on Sunday bunch, what would you be making?

Beans on tests? Probably? I do love they said.

They asked me in the research chat, what's your favorite food? And all I could think of as beans on test.

I am quite the cook.

Actually I do like a fish tacko with a quackam only all that sort of thing. When I lived alone, I cooked a lot and that's a form of procrastination. But now I'm in London again and I'm living with people and I'm really busy.

It's just a discounted it. So at the end of the day, at the moment, so as you.

Mentioned, you're kind of quite keen on doing stuff like that. The more it seems like, the more surreal, the more up for it. I mean, those things are probably a little bit sort of strange on they almost becomes a weird experience at a TV studio, you're with some people from the reality TV show. It's just a different field to the whole thing. It's not it's not your average

I think so.

I think because I was in like an indie band for so long and so much of that was about it's sort of I think like as a teenager, I was like, cool, I'm doing those finger things for the podcast listeners. And something happened when and I realized I'm really tired of doing that, and I actually really liked Telly and especially like UK Telly and I like just no pretense and things like some ne brunch.

It's just not cool, and that's what I like about it.

It's just being confident, I guess, or yourself or I don't know.

It's a good question. I don't know why I love it.

And also it's like I've been doing this for so long and still.

There's like members of my family that are like, when are you going to go on Next Factor?

Like I do really appreciate these barometers of like success that that makes sense to people.

That don't understand that I've sort of I've done all right music.

Same with Glastonbury, Like playing that is really like finally having an actual set of Glastonbury's really help the understanding in the wider family and friends, people from school, you know, yeah, do.

You need it properly?

Then? Yeah, I don't know why. That's still it's like one thing that still bothers me.

But with the TV stuff, is there any shows that are still out there that you would absolutely have to do? Are you not going to stop until you are like a Judge or X Factor?

It would be brilliant bothers me.

Yeah, I'd love to do it all, but I'm aware that I'm like not famous enough right, But as soon as if I slightly. Was I clean up on them more eight out of ten cats? Yes, I'd love to do Jiles Holland That's another annoying milestone, isn't it. But years have been like maybe they really like you, and then it didn't happen, So psychologically I have to let go of that kind of thing. And he's not on air at the minute, which has really helped because I'm like, oh, like, I'll get on it anyway.

It's not a failure if it's not on air.

Surely that's on the cards, though they need.

To make you think that.

But this is my whole career has always felt a bit like not quite so. But I'm making my peace with that now as a mature woman in the industry. I'm proud of what I do. I would like to be making it on.

What I'm telling you, though at some point maybe this Sunday, you never know.

Maybe.

So this is the great escape for people again that maybe aren't sure of what that is. If you're listening, if you're not here. It's a new bands festival. Basically, people come to check out the hot new things you've been to the greatest shape before, presumably as part in your kind of old life as you put it with

It's been so weird and I don't think I realized that that would be happening. So the first few we did, like a new band's night at the Night and Day Cafe in Manchester, which is one of the first places outside of Sheffield. Me and Charles played and I was like, what's in in there? And with my new band we're all like dressed up and I was like, oh, it's

I was like, I hate all of you.

And then I realized, no, You've got to suck all this up because I'm like, it's not an ego. I haven't got big ego. It's more like my life had just that that wasn't it anymore. So I was just really shocked. I was like, why are all these boys here? Why? Yeah, So it was quite really funny for me to realize I've gone back to the start.

And I struggled with it at.

First and thought I'm too old or I feel really worried that I've gone back in time and what if it don't work?

What if it don't work?

But I've enjoyed it, it turns out, because it's going back to being like I sort of used to feel like this is really early slow club days, Like when we do like open mics, I'd be like, I know it will be like at least interesting on that bill. I mean, this won't come across well on the radio, but I do think I just know, like we'll be really good on these new band things.

So I've enjoyed the like, yeah, you wait till we get on feeling.

With competitiveness of it a little bit, which is bad.

But and also like I've just done it for so long that I don't feel the anxieties and the stresses that knew like I did when I first started. So it's just a joy to perform now in no matter where it is.

Really before we.

Talk a bit about compliments please, which is the DeBie Amley release theory this year? In my research for Chatting to Today, I watched the Slow Club documentary came out at the end of last year.

How to get that?

It's got a secret email, didn't I? It's been screened at a couple of places, isn't it. It's going to be shown in a few different places for people to see possibly later this year, scored down most Brilliant Friends and essentially it's a kind of hour long movie documentary that explores or charts sort of the final Slow Club tour, doesn't it? And the fair to say, the kind of last chapter of that band kind of things As you were yourself and Charles were kind of like that project

I wish I could quite remember how it was born, but basically Peers Dennis, who made it, it's like a close friend of both Charles and I, and he'd made a few videos for us, and I don't I think I think it was me. I was like, we should have someone come on on this last tour, not because I particularly thought it was going to be the last

And letting go of something.

Rather than like about being on tour, which I think it's far more interesting to watch. The whole thing is extremely emotional for me, as you can imagine, because Charles and I didn't talk much to each other, but for some reason, both in this film talk to the filmmaker every step of the way. We both were like independent, independently watching it and okaying it. So the whole time I was like, well, if he's okay with it, I'm okay with it. And it's just like this is such

I don't know if Charles said the same SOS.

I was like, oh god, I'm like having this like Tracy esque, like yeah, it doesn't even.

Real me and.

And I don't think he would be comfortable with that angle. So for a while I was like, oh shit, but it is. It's as a piece of art. I'm like, it's really cool and brave and stuff, and I'm glad it exists. They screened it and then we had a Q and A and we were both there and that was one of the worst experiences of my life because there's so much tension, and some prick in the audience asked a question about that was sort of very kind to me and not very kind to Charles, and it

A Wallyly no joking jog joke.

Which is the sort of microcosm of the whole band. Really, it's like, we don't we haven't worked. Our relationship has been tough because we don't talk, and instead of that we both go harbord aller And it was just yeah, it's on YouTube, and I sort of hate watched it the other day and thought, oh god, well, my hair looks really nice.

I just have my roots done, so that was good.

Use the words honest and poignan, and it is both those things. It's kind of the opposite of, you know, these incredibly stylized tool documentaries that people put out to kind of present the best versions of themselves, like if you go on if you watched like a well, a big, like a multi million bound pop stars kind of documentary, sometimes you're just kind of like, well, I'm not really

Yeah, it was. Well. I first saw it.

Peers was sort of because he's Peers is really sensitive and he and I are really close, so I knew that he would and he took it all really seriously and he sort of made sure me seeing it for the first time, I was like at his flat and

The outside like.

We were a cool band who can film venues. It's like life must be great.

What a dream?

And it like for me, that wasn't the dream and it certainly wasn't the dream anymore, and I hadn't felt really frustrated because I did not know how to go to the next level. And I had been made to feel for a long time that that was a really like shitty quality about me, that I was ambitious and that was not the point, and that made me not

Of these big exciting benchmarks. They might not happen to me.

But at least, like day and day out, I could be surrounded by like minded people. I could be at least if I'm playing like Cardiff Barfly. Yeah again, and it stinks there's no dressing room, but at least I can be on the stage dancing now and in an outfit I've designed and we're all caked in makeup and we're all having a great time, and it's all I'm making my own little arena shows. Just more that genuinely was like, I just need to change what it's like day to day so it's not so because it would

So self esteem then yeah, go on. Then yeah, when it sounds like obviously we got to hear the Debi album earlier this year, but it sounds like the seeds of that kind of nucleus of that would have gone back quite away. I mean that the documentary we've just been talking about is around the period or twenty sixteen, something like that, a few years ago. Maybe Yeah, yeah, I think these ambitions you were talking about, and like the desire to want to do something that was more

I think like, if you ask me honestly, I was like eighteen, what do I want to do? It would have been this.

But I was in Sheffield and I was like the indie girl at school and and like I said earlier, like addled with this like obsession with being cool.

And also what was like available.

To me was like being in bands with boys with guitars in town like this kind of thing. And also pop music back then was still like it's it's become the most exciting genre and it doesn't between Indian pop doesn't exist anymore. And I do think like those lines are just blurred and gone and wheel of Ariana Grande and that's fine now, But back then, like I just kept it hidden how much I loved Destiny's Child and stuff. And I'm annoyingly quite like like I can write on

Bright eyes and stuff like that till in the wall.

Actually they helped because they were at least in like daft clothes and dancing a bit.

With that in mind slightly kind of different tangent of a question, but with things like writing for other people, like writing pop writing camps and things like that, or collaborating with like would you collaborate with like an EDM DJ and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, if Calvin Harris give you a call, you do it.

I would love that.

There was a I had an electro boyfriend right in two thousand and like nine ten, and it was before Calvin Harris was a big deal. And when he don't me, we were like who can I go out with? Who can I go out there? That's like beat him or like Calvin Harris. It never happened. Yeah, I love all that. I mean, I've got a bit of a feeling that I need to keep self esteem sonically, like exactly what is in my mind? But I've got nothing to lose, so I could go and feature or on other things.

Definitely.

That doesn't feel like unachievable anyway, right, Well, I hope not.

I want that Little.

Mikes notoriously listen to our podcast, So there you go. Yeah, exactly.

Well, I said to the label quite a few times, I don't know if it happened. Can we make sure my record gets to I don't know if it ever did.

But no, I love all that.

In Solcub I sort of couldn't explore writing for other people because if someone wanted to write with club, it was two of us and it's like, oh, we never sort of did it because it was just like another thing to sort of not agree on. So now I'm a solo artist, opportunities are coming up where I can say, yeah, I'm doing loads of theater things because I love all that, and it's like really changed everything.

That's great?

Is it put you off ever being not necessarily in that band, but a band again.

I don't think I want to not be the boss man again.

Been to the top of the tree.

Unless like I could do a project like a collaboration, one off thing with like you know Rihanna. Sure, but I hope. I'm hoping I can be boss Man forever. Also, there's a I'd love to do backing vocals for either Rod Stewart or Peter Gabriel, so that they're the two gigs.

I'll give it all up for.

Do you like Rod Stewart?

Why has something come out about.

Him since we've been on air. No, I just I don't.

I don't really like rodt it for some reason. I just really I can find by Rod Stewart. I don't know why Baby Jane and I saw. I used to thought I've seen him live a.

Bit and how many times you've been seeing life.

I feel like I've been like twice two like arenas, I don't know taking.

A parent or a grandparent.

It was with it like an ex's auntie. So maybe it's that.

But no, there's melodically some of the Rod stew at work is quite exquisite. It's more Peter Gabriel's my main one because when I was a little girl, my dad. There's this there is this like filmed concert of his. I think it's called Brave New World or something like that, And it was this tour that he did with like props and staging and it's more.

Really theatrical, and it's like tree grew out of this the.

Stage and they dance and stuff and they've all got like hands free mics and so like eight year old me just used to be like, put the Peter Gabriel video on again and there's a girl in it who had like long black dress and Doc Martins and she sings other girl bits and that it's one of my first memories of like I want to do that.

Like so its mini dream of.

Doing that gig wondery if he if he stays alive and not canceled, if.

Money was no object, what would your stadium stage show look like?

Just huge and constantly interesting and something new happening a lot is it's more about that, Like I think you can get like a backdrop that's like wow, but it's the moving keeping it going.

And would you come out on one of those rises in the middle of the stadium, in the middle of the crowd.

Yeah, I'm more interested in flying in. I would like that.

I love all that daft stuff and the gig's boring, is my point. Like, so, I mean I've played enough of it and I've been bored. So I don't know about you guys, but so even in my little low budget world I'm in trying to make that happen. Now, I'm like, just keep it moving and interesting, even if that's like my live show properly puts people off and some people don't want that, but I'm just pleasing myself now.

It's it sounds quite liberating any more fulfilling.

Yeah, it's great and I want to like put an up really like you can. My point is always, like I live like a I'm like Henry the Eighth, right, I just like eat a lot what I want and like I do what I want, kids who I want, and I just I want the live show to feel like that. There's like no reason not to do everything you want until I don't know, you have kids and you're married or you've got responsibilities.

So compliments please with the debut album. Just tell me a little bit about the sort of beginnings of that. You were living in London and then you moved to Margate and to start working on that material or what was the experience of living in Margate, Like.

Well, I it was great. It was I just had to leave for the sake of my heart blood pressure.

I think.

I don't know, I was too exciting.

No, I don't know why I did it. I went.

I'd always been in London because Charles's wife is in London, so he'd always sort of lived there, and I'd been like flat to flat to flat, trying to sort of survive financially. So every time we went on tour for a while or like the money was like petering out.

I'd have to move back to my parents.

I was like that was sort of looking likely again, and for a long time, there's no need for me to be in London. So I got a really like annoyed relationship with it, and I'd gone back up north and then got like a tax rebate, and it was a sort of situation where I was like, oh, good bye this flat in Margate when everyone's doing it, and my manager at the time was there and he'd bought like quite a few properties and it was all cool and up and coming, and I thought I'd be a painter,

I'm going to do this.

It took ages, and I like ruined my new manager's life. I've been like, when like, can we put this out?

Can we do this? It's like no, you have to build it. And took ages.

So I get a record deal and didn't know if that would happen, and so I was just going completely coco and local in Margate, which is not the place to feel like that because there's too many like dafh things you can do there. So it's just a sort of odd time. But thank god, it all sort of came together. It made sense because we had started working with a producer there and it turned out like he was the one that I wanted to make their record with.

From, it was a good good place to be.

But I mean back up quickly because we were doing loads of press and stuff, and now I'm back into the London life and it's the first time I lived in London, and it's for me, like and it serves me. And therefore I'm not angry about how much it costs because I'm like, this is great. Every day I'm busy doing exciting stuff and the album's cool.

Compliments please, did you feel like have people got it and people understood it in the way you wanted.

The album or the title or both?

I suppose start with the title. Has anybody giving you any nice compliments about compliments? Please? Of course they have the best ones.

No, I can't.

I thought it was really funny to call it that, and I think hopefully if you know, you know kind of thing that's like, you're the same with loads of my things I think are funny, Like if you don't get it, it's harmless, but if you do, it's like.

Like, that's funny. Yeah, we had no idea what would happen. I knew.

I was really proud of it, and I loved it, and I loved how sort of long. It was an epic and it flowed and I got all the different bits of the spoken words stuff, and aesthetically it was all coming together, and so I was just like I just for the first time in my life maybe was going to bed going like I know I've done enough, and there's like no stone left on turned with this

Really proud of them all and I love them all, but.

There's things on it that were compromises that I wouldn't have ideally had on it, and that is sort of opens up a weird little cavern in you.

Where the bad stuff can get in. I was like I felt a bit bulletproof of it.

So the fact that people really liked it, I was like half really relieved and half like, yeah, ORMs, which is bad, but I don't care.

And it's brought along some great opportunities obviously Sunday brunch.

Big brunch opportunity coming up, Yes.

Brunch opportunity. Other things that are coming up this year. You already mentioned Glastonbury. You're looking forward to that.

Yeah, I'm doing four sets at it because I've got a camp okay, and I just thought it's best for if the more gigs are play the less like totally totally wasted.

I'll get so if you've done the sort of full because Glastonbury is one of those ones where you just got to embrace it and sort of do the Glastonberer experience.

Right, Yeah, well I've never I've only been once.

I sang in the moon Landings band and so they did parks, they did Twelve Midday and my only memory is a pint of red wine before I went on. So that wasn't a nice experience it turned out.

So yeah, I'm gonna have fun. And then it's same again, like it's.

Going with like five of my besties now, so it's everything's a different experience because if I'm.

Not lonely, I'm like, it's it's a fun vibe. So far asked me this in a year and I'll be like.

I hate this, but I'm doing loads of festivals and this is another cool thing. Every year it would be like, how are we getting any festival slots? And we'd get a few, we'd get a handful every year, but they'd be like, you just release the.

Album at the wrong time. I'm sorry.

I'd be like, I don't know what that means and the fat I'm dead busy and I releasing the album in March is a bad time for festivals. But I'm like, I always knew that was bullshit, So I'm really proud that I've got a very got loads.

I've got loads on.

Yeah, excellent. You do some shows with Florence the Machine.

Yeah?

Is that Florence's a fan of yours? Presly?

Well, yeah it was.

It was really cool thing happened where she put my album on our Instagram story and I got like twenty text messages off people and we just did DM doing something that's really kind of thank you. It's funny though, because I was on the radio one thing and Jackson was like, this must be a dream come true, and I'm like, I think I'm older than that, and it was like she must be a big inspiration. It was like I was doing it like seven years before she

Do you know what I'm saying?

The opportunity it's not that it's like, oh my god, wow, I'm like this, but it does feel brilliant. I don't think i'd be excited bout anything apart from Peter Gabriel, but no, I'm really in and I'm so excited. It's so kind of and she's been so like she tweeted the album link. I'm like, that is like, we can't pay for that. You're kind of like press thank you, Like this is huge, and I don't understand people being that kind to me and lessening when I have sex

I feel like it might go down.

Well yeah, going back to that point of being like welcoming any new opportunity, like it's gonna be a big stage, it's going to be thirty thou people, it's gonna be good.

Slow Club did a month and Sun's toler in America, which still is one of my favorite. Well, same again, We're like, but then by the end of every gig, I'd be like, ah, will will like having the time of my life because I was like.

I love popular stuff, it's brilliant.

So I'm hoping, you know, do some stuff with self esteem in America.

Well, I hope, sir, I've been I asked you that. My manager swiftly not that question this morning on the train. I'm trying to get it to come out there. We were told that single solo females don't work, So females don't work in America at the moment.

A parently that's not true, is it.

I mean, look at Aura, she goes to the met.

You need to just prove there's another like hypothesis music industry, like if you need to just bust I hope.

So I'd love to.

But also, Sow Club went a lot, and we did all those mad huge tours, ten hour drives to not even a gig two a days in and then ten more hours to the next king. And I did that real like punk like back of the Van American tour quite a few times.

So I'm not.

Desperate to do that. I would love to go and play and see what happens and eat the food out there, really nice food everywhere, even though like Tgo Fridays is nice, you know what their crap restaurants is like deliced. But that's not the point. I would like the album to come out there, if anyone's listening.

When you hear that stuff, though, when somebody comes back to you and says, oh, female Solar artists don't work here at the moment, do you obviously that's completely rubbish, Like does it does it make you angry? Do you just kind of like have you heard that so many times you just kind of like, ah, oh well, or like just how does that make you feel?

It just feels stupid and a lot sort of laughable, And I like telling people that that's what I've been told and it just spares me on a bit to be But then I do have this like real fear that there's how do I say it, Like, no matter how much like I can defy like what people expect of me or what people expect women, there is still this like impenetrable like white men at the top of

Come on.

It's like, also, I don't know, I have to let go of a lot of that because it makes me too angry, and the idea of success is I've got to let go of that as well. It's just more like I have to bring it back to me and what am I enjoying and to people like what I'm doing enough for me to be able to do it.

Yeah, so we'll go from there.

But I go through phases of like I'm going to smash this down and change this, and then I go, nah, no mind.

It sounds like we talked a little bit about just like how it's been a change of sort of pace, change of experience doing self esteem compared to what you've done in the past already as this to a certain extent, but the idea that you're happy you're doing it like it feels, you know, has it just been something that's been more satisfying to like take this bath, And as you said before, it maybe it did feel like a risk.

Yeah, I think it's It's truly changed my life, just being able to prove that I could, like I'm good enough from my ideas are good enough alone, And like there was a ton of like personal mental health shit that I'm like so much of that I think was because it I didn't realize how unhealthy not expressing myself truly was for me. So even like it started because

But I don't know how I did it. I think I just persevered.

And RuPaul's drag Race, like, honestly, watching that made me go like, this is Almos just so daft and all these people just work so hard and there's no right or wrong with with a lot of it, and that really helped. I was just like I realized I was living my life worrying about what it was like this metaphorical table and the people sat around that table. I was so worried what they'd think about what and how I knew what they'd say about me and how they'd

And that's years of trying, really hard to let go of that chronic.

Embarrassment of myself, and there's still plenty of it, so don't worry.

But it's a happy place. And then and the thing about.

The show and being able to know, like like tonight, I'll come off stage and I'll have broke us wet and I'll feel like I performed and I will be in the moment, and then really cool things happen where I just want, I do, really want to just go home after gigs now, Whereas before I'd be like, let's get as drunk as possible because I need and socialized, desperately socializing after gigs because I don't think I felt represented on the stage. And now I'm like, I've done

Yeah, straight out.

I really wanted a limo the album release day and I really wanted to and we did talk about it, but it didn't end up happening.

Should arrive tonight, since we're buy the seaside, you should arrive by a speedboat. Yes, you do that once.

That's the thing you can do that. It's my Henry the Eighth theory. It's like, within reason, you can just do anything you want. And in the day I could save up for a Limo. After tonight, I'm not going to do there. We'll save it for I'm doing Brixton Electric in October, so that's a Limo one in it.

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