Hey, everybody, it's Joe and I am here with my friend Russ. Hello Russ, how are you? I'm doing very well, Joe. It's lovely to be here. I did something the other day that I had not done since I was 13 years old Russ, which was of course I played D&D and Dragons. You did and you did so well considering that it's been since you were 13. It was since I was 13 years old and you on your show D&D and Dragons, you said, hey, come on the show and I said Russ, you don't understand I haven't played since I was 13 years old. And you said,
that's great. That's perfect. That's the exact person we want is the one who said, hey, I love this as a kid but because I'm an adult, I don't play games anymore. That's right. I do much more mature things like make audio fiction podcasts. That's right. So you asked me to come on your show Dumbgeons and Dragons, came on the show, had a great time. We are going to drop the, I was on for three episodes and we are going to be dropping the very
first episode on our feed on the Midnight Burger feed right now for people. We are. We hope you enjoy. We certainly had a great time doing it. Tell us about, tell, tell the lovely dinersons about, about Dumbgeons and Dragons. Yes. So Dumbgeons and Dragons is a D&D actual play podcast. And I know that sometimes scares off a lot of people because they're like, oh, they roll dice. Oh, they look up rules. Oh, they take bathroom breaks. Hey, don't worry. We edit.
Most of that stuff out. So it is very much a closer to a scripted. It's not scripted. It's improvised. But it's more narrative all the way through less stop downs, a lot of fun, a lot of goofs, a lot of laughs. It's comprised of myself and four of my best friends, Amy, Tom, Carla and Kyle.
And we have been playing this, this show since the dawn of time, 2017, which feels like forever ago. But season three, which is part, what are these episodes are part of is an entirely new story. So when you go over to the feed and you're like, wow, there's, there's 250 plus podcasts.
Just start at season three. In fact, start at Joe's episodes, which are episode 15, 16 and 17 of season three. So we're playing episode 15 for you. And then when you're hooked, you can go back and listen to the entire story. Yes. It is amazing. It is. It's a lot of it really captures like like the TTRBG podcast that I think really excel are the ones where it just does feel like, you know, some friends hanging out with each other.
Yes. And it really was. I felt like I, I, I only knew you in that group. And, you know, by the end, I felt like these were my best friends in the entire world. I think that was just being Canadian. But also part of it is because it was really nice place to be, you know.
And I really did, you know, I didn't, because I didn't know anything. I asked you to sort of make the character for me. And just like, just give me the character. And I'll do whatever you give me. And I really did appreciate the number of axes that I was given.
Yes. I was given, I played a character named Rin Kipps, Selador, who carries a sum total of four axes with him. Four axes only has two hands, which is an important thing to, to clarify and Dungeons and Dragons, because you could have more. But more axes than you have hands that you actually use them. That is true. For, you know, two hands, four axes can't lose. That was my, you know, my theory for the game.
But yeah, listen, I had a really wonderful time doing it. And I hope that everyone listening enjoys the episode. So this is the first of the three episodes that I was in. So you can check out all three of those are now out on the feed. And you can, and you can go and also just, you know, go crazy. Start from the very beginning. Go nuts. Go back to the dawn of time. 2017 and listen to all of them. If you like, please do, please do. It's a, it's a really wonderful show. And I had a fantastic time.
So thank you for again for inviting me on, Russ. I really appreciate it. Thank you for coming. Yes. We'll have you back as we need more axes. Joe will be making other appearances. I'm sure in the future have acts will travel exactly. And so again, that's Dungeons and Dragons, DUMB, DUMGINS and Dragons. That is available anywhere you get your podcasts, everybody. All right. Without further ado, here it is. A fun episode of DUMGINS and Dragons. Alladin, you have your head stuck firmly into a hole.
Yep. That sounds like deep within the tunnel system that you have found under Vinter Smith in there. What the tunnel systems under Vinter Smith? I've been playing this wrong the whole time, you guys. It's been air tunnels. It made me smile the entire time. You have just stumbled across. Well, what was at first a sound, some hammering, some grumbling down at the end of this tunnel, which was very unusual because you haven't run into anything or any one down in these tunnels.
You peeled back the rubble and the debris that was around this hole and you stick your head through and you now see a city underneath the ground, dimly lit with goblins. It's dimly lit with goblins. These are glowy goblins. They're in Kandessen goblins. They're all stuck up on the wall without some file luminescence. I was just going to say, yes, they're in fact, they're clothing is by a luminescent moss, which is why it's dimly lit by goblins. I've been to that rave.
Behind you is your dear friend Tally who's trying to pull you back and saying, what do you see? What do you see? Goblins goblins. We got to get out of here. Go quiet. I just want to stay a little bit longer. See what they're doing. Okay. Quieter. Your breathing is so wet. Hold your back. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, I'll be quiet.
You sit around for a moment watching and what first is quite a busy city. You see a lot of goblins moving to and from different structures down below becomes eerily quiet after a quick moment. I can hear your breathing even better. I thought I was holding my breath. Do I see anything and like did everyone just stop what they're doing and like turn to look at something that isn't me any goblins who you did see almost disappeared from view.
Tally, they're gone. Where did they go? I don't know. Make a perception roll. Any meanie, minding roll and dice guys. It's going to be that kind of. I didn't even roll it into the giant space. I have to roll it. Oh, hold it. Oh, plus zero. Come on now. 12. You listen very intently and then you hear the sound of a pebble or stone rolling down the wall behind you. I want to do one of those slow turns. You know, like like the. Oh, no. That's what I wanted.
Yeah, you turn around and up on the walls above where the tunnel is. You see goblins coming out of different crevices surrounding you and pushing you back towards the hole that you were looking in. I think we should have run. Dungeons and Dragons is a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master Russ Moore. He him also with me today is Amy Moore as Alladin she her. Are you going to eat us? Carlemac stead as Bonnwineverbane she her.
There's crappy little street kids. They don't really want to like hang out waiting for adults. Tom Laird as Kavlar in Goldweave. He him. That's not checking out either. So I've got I've got more work to do still Kyle class it is bizarre the wizard. He him. Don't spin the night or go on an overnight adventure with them because that's even worse with special guest Joe Fisher from Midnight Burger as
Ryn Kip Selador. He him. He's invested too much of his energy and his facial hair just generally as a human being. Dungeons and Dragons is a Patreon supported podcast and we'd love for you to join us over there patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast exclusive content amazing community and merch. Come on over and now fuck it. Let's play. Back up in ventors myth. We are in the hot block in Bonnwine. It's been a couple days since you've returned from the last
adventure that you've been on. There's been a lot of reflecting you and Kav and Bizarre were driven out by a creature down deep within the
me mountains who chased you out in an epic elevator race. You've returned home and Aladdin wasn't there which was the reason that you originally went on this this journey and you haven't seen or heard from them since Ignatius is hired basically every guard everybody who has any authority in the town to try and find carous which was the pseudonym that Aladdin was going by.
There are because Ignatius decided that's what her name has been assigned to. Yeah also the entire city looking for her that's like Aladdin's worst nightmare. Yeah. The ruining everything damn grown ups there are signs up on mailboxes signs up on walls with milk cartons milk cartons with a poorly drawn image of of Aladdin in fact so poorly drawn that Aladdin has a mustache and large muscles. Ignatius has no idea what this kid looks like.
It's me flexing my big Aladdin muscles. What does Bonnwine do or what does Bonnwine want to do in the situation because there's a seems like there's a bit of an affinity that you struck with Aladdin when they broke into your establishment. Yes. Wondered into to take a look at like you're making a
sense. Yes, I mean whatever however you want to phrase it. I mean I am concerned but a happy that she didn't go on that adventure because it was there was no food and it was all terrible and no no riches nothing there was no benefits. So I'm glad she didn't do that. I think that I am concerned about her but not overly because I know just from when we met she's very
resourceful. This is just like her life so I don't need to put my savior helmet on or anything. I am very hopeful she will come back. I'm keeping my eyes out for her. I'm actively looking for when I leave ever Bains but otherwise like I'm I am hopeful she will come back to me. You find yourself later that evening down at the brood awakening which is the local gastropub.
Kavlarin is there and has been there talking a bench and bizarre enters shortly after you do and the three of you catch each other's eye and bench calls you over and says hey,
what can I get you? You know just like a logger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just something kind of refreshing you know. I can put some citrus in it. That sounds great. Yeah wow you have citrus. No, but I will I will find some give me a moment. I'll be right back. No, I'll just take the logger. That's that's perfect. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. He grabs a glass and then he walks out the back. He'll be back in a moment. Still going for that citrus.
What's my layout like our cabin bizarre together or have we all just seren dipitously entered at the same time. It's happened so often in deep. Bizarre would probably be wanting to talk to Kav about some you know being in with the title and inquisitor or auditor. Thank you. It's so much friendlier than yeah, yeah, the inquisitor really sounds like I'm up to no good.
So I think Bizarre would want to talk to an auditor and get like you know like the inside scoop on things because he did have to help his dad a little bit in Kingston with some of the tax stuff and making sure the business is okay. But he didn't really understand any of these. I just need to send money. So I feel like we'd probably be chillin having a drink and just like chatting about the businesses around town and what you're up to.
Nice. Then if they're sitting together, I'm going to go over when I get my drink back. Hopefully that's just a beer. Hey guys, mind if I join you. Oh absolutely grab a seat please. Nice. Are you guys doing you know after our misadventure and everything. Yeah, I got back to the shop and stayed open a couple of couple of extra hours just in case to make up for it. So yeah, good call. Yeah, I pulled the whole a couple of longer nights myself and my goodness did I eat.
I mean I can eat. I was so hungry. I mean as a government employee, I just went home. I don't pay me to work out off the clock. That's I can respect that you know. Roads not taken. Am I right bizarre? Maybe right? Exactly. I just wasn't in the cards for me. I was born into this but there was an opportunity to stay in Kingston, but I. I was like, I know I'm ready to leave this place. I've seen I've seen the good. I've seen the bad and I'm ready to see something else.
Well, and you had mentioned what was the school you went to again? It was for like knife fighting or it was something Barnhard Swann School of Magic Fighting and Dance. Right. So you you were educated. So it's it's three items. Magic fighting and dance. I thought it was magic fighting and dance. Yes, there. Some people put a comma there. Some people don't. It really depends on how you approach your curriculum.
So not magic fighting dance. Well, to see you could do it. I didn't think about like the kids in the magic program were fighting the dance kids. Is this sort of what I thought? We'll see there's magic fighting and then there's magic fighting and dance and then there's fighting dance. And just a monastery school. I sorry. It's very very make your own thing. It seems very just absolutely.
Whatever the kids want. It's a lot of heart learning. Yeah. They got their own journey. Yeah. Very free for magic dance fighting. Sure. Exactly. I mean, you know, and as a as a blade singer, it's called you kind of fall in fall in the Giddle three. There's a loud crash as the door to the Brutal Awakening is seemingly kicked open and Ignatius comes in and he looks distraught. Ignatius is one of the nobles who runs the town brothel.
He comes into the center of the Brutal Awakening and everybody has stopped the band that was playing is now silent and he stands up on top of the bar. My friends. Carus has not turned up. I fear the worst. Perhaps they are dead. That's the only explanation. There's no record of a carous in this town. There's no way that our illustrious guard could not have found her. We have a memorial tomorrow. Wow.
He gave up. I mean, skipping straight to the memorial. Ignatius, she may have. I mean, she may have just moved or moved from Vinter Smith. The jewel of Lake Lake on the river river. Next to the verbose in forest. Does seem unlikely. Really hit the highlight here in the shadow of the me mountain in the shadow of the me mountains where we just came back and didn't get any treasure Ignatius. That is the least of our worries. One of our adventurers died before it even began.
I think it might just be easier to go along with the memorial. Then maybe he'll get some closure and we can move on. Closure is important. Oh my God. I hope I get you to go to my own funeral. I hope you do. The memorial will be held tomorrow. I have invited everybody in town who know they tell great stories. Everybody I met tells wonderful stories of carrots. How they knew her so very well. Even our former sheriff, Rinkep Selador, who he points over to the corner where there's a...
Joe, if you could describe Rinkep for us as we see him now. Rinkep looks... he has a handlebar mustache that looks like it's seen better days, which is a metaphor for how the rest of him looks. He's one of those people who seems to dress the way that he looked 20 years ago and just never got the memo. And one of those people, you know, he seems to be looking around for something, but he doesn't know what it is. And maybe it's his former self or something like that. Oh God. Or maybe his keys.
He's invested too much of his energy in his facial hair just generally as a human being. Too much time and energy was put into it. He regrets now that time that he put into the... like if only I had focused on other things other than this moustache, then perhaps things would have worked out differently. Now I'm just the sad guy at the bar. You could have been the mayor. Oh. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. It's true. I feel I've never felt worse for a character I haven't met yet.
Anyway, that's that, you know that guy. We all know that guy in that bar. We know that guy. This guy, this Rin Kipps-Celador, who was a former, a former sheriff so high up in the city, so high. Rin Kipp, if you could say a few words about Keras, is this like a pre-memorial memorial? This is just... This is just the Amuse Booth for the memorial. I felt the moment. Yes. I apologize. We're doing it right now. This is a flash memorial. Is it what you're saying? This is a flash. Oh boy.
Everybody here is the memorial now. We'll see you in the memorial. We'll see you in the next part. We'll see you in the next part. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We are... We embody the memory of Keras now. Yes. I agree with you. Who is Keras again? Who? Just real quick. Wait. No, no, no. Let me tell you more about... You know what I recall about Keras first of all? You scared me for a moment.
Yes. You know, I think we can all recall that time that Keras got lost in the cave. Not good with caves. We all remember this. Here, which is odd because where are you going to go? I mean, you're in a cave. You go forwards. You go backwards. It seems to be... It seems to be... I mean, I'm not talking about a maze. You know what I mean? You go forward back. Not sure how the getting lost thing happens, but it happens. It happened. It's just Keras. It's happened to us to the best of us.
Some people add to the best of us, the worst of us. It happens to... It's a universal feeling getting lost in caves. Yeah. Yeah. K with the mind. K with the soul. Thank you. Thank you. The cave of the mind. We've all gotten lost in there. And it's just... It makes me think of better times in the city. When it was okay to get lost in caves. And everybody felt fine about it. These days not so much. I mean, don't get me started on how things used to be. Right? Everybody knows that.
But, uh, Keras, you know, they're getting lost in that cave up in the sky now. And here's to them, I say. Cheers. Cheers to Keras. Cheers to Keras. Cheers to Keras. Keras is so beautiful. Yes. I agree that it was beautiful. Thank you. Yeah. Anybody else have any words? What can you say after that? No. I mean, this... Yeah, I really did. I really did nail it. That is true. It's really... You're really brought... Brought it all. Well, I'm going to have my drink.
And I will, I guess, see you all tomorrow. Just for the... Real quick though, this was the moral. There's not another thing that's happening. And this was it. We're just doing this. That's the moral. Well, I mean, I felt good. Didn't it feel good everybody? I mean, yeah. I mean, I felt good. It was natural. It was natural as well as it was. And I don't want to... I don't want to see it in the moment. It wasn't forced. Yeah, it wasn't forced. It was the key. Yeah, it was.
No, no. No rehearsal, no pre-written notes. Just what you feel in the moment. Everybody else can reflect on that. And he sits down at the bar and slowly sips looking off into the middle distance. Now, he didn't actually order a drink. So whose drink is he drinking? I think that's mine. I think that's mine. That's all right, though. I'm going to have another one. It was toward the end of it, you know what I mean? And when you're ready for it. Mostly that one.
Yeah, we're ready for another one anyway. So it's fine. Yeah. It's quite viscous. Yeah. This brew. That's on purpose. That's on purpose. Don't worry. Oh, okay. Thank you. You are the professional. That's how they make it. Yeah, that's how we make it here. The brew the wick and then fix it. Sure. Some liva. Bunch brings you another drink. Their ringkip. Right. That one's on the house. That was beautiful. Thank you. I mean, you know, if you want me to talk for a drink, I can do that any time.
Are we still thinking and pondering and remembering? Or what? Like, I'm confused about the schedule of the flash memorial right now. But that's okay. Yeah. You know, we're thinking it's over. Is it? I think it wound down. I think that was. It's now over. I believe it's a literal flash. Just like in a flash. So quick. Yeah. All right. Yeah. It felt real. It was real. Yeah. So here we are. Yeah. More all the better for it. Do you want to? Do you want to come join us, ringkip? Or just?
Oh, certainly. Certainly. That sounds. That sounds like a hello. Hello, all. Hello. Well, you know, bizarre, but you have you met Cavalara? I don't think you have. I don't think I have. You're the one who went to that strange school. No. No, that was. No, that was bizarre. That was bizarre. Sorry. I think people mixed up sometimes. I know so many people. It's hard to keep them straight in my head. You know everyone in the city, right? Except, yeah. So it's just new guys. He works at.
Well, I mean, I'll let you say what you do. Well, I mean, a lot of people don't realize how hard it is to know literally everyone in the city. It's hard to keep that all up in the open. Of course it does. Yeah, fair. I can remember like five names at all times. And then I blanked out everywhere. So I get you. Yeah. Yeah, I actually come down from King's Town. I'm a bit of an auditor. That sounds exciting. It's supposed to. Well, it isn't really.
But you know, they've noticed up in King's Town that there's a little more spending going on down here than they can really account for. So they sent me down to have a look. Okay. Where do you think the spending's coming from exactly? Where's the city hall? Oh, city hall. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, city hall. Yeah. The mayor, expressly the mayor expressly the mayor. Yeah. So you're done. I guess you know where the spending's going. So you're headed back. I haven't been able to prove it yet.
Oh, proof. That's interesting. Yeah, they require me to do that as well. I never did any of that. I would share that part. Okay, proof. Okay. Well, maybe that's, I mean, I hate to overstep it. Maybe that's why you're not sure if anyone will. Well, we can go in. I mean, that's a long conversation to have if you really want to get into it. But it'll listen to proof is an interesting because what is proof really? I mean, you say something. I say something. Who do you believe?
I say you go with the guy who has the mustache. And that's all I that's what I did when I was sheriff. And it worked out fine for a very long time. You know, I'd yeah, that's just a good strategy. Yeah, it's ironclad record. Let me ask you this. How do you where do you get proof of the of the spending? Well, it's really tedious. I have to go through a bunch of forms and a bunch of receipts. Yeah. And make sure that they match.
And I haven't found anything yet that indicates they're not going to buy. But I will. I will. I'm going to stick with it. I'm going to find that evidence. I'll prove it. Everyone on the. I mean, the gold fountains, the gold, like the gold everything. The gold everything. And the noble side of the river. There's a little bit of gold. There's a little bit of gold. And the gold is going from somewhere, right? And it's not filtering over to our side of the city.
So I mean, the very high taxes could be an explanation. But that's not checking out either. So I've got I've got more work to do. Interesting. It sounds thrilling. That's what it sounds like. You know what you know, you know, you know, you're the thing is that sometimes I mean, I'm not saying I did this back in the day when I was the sheriff. But sometimes there would be like a set of records. And then there'd like be, you know, the other set of records.
You know, you know, I see I'm currently looking for the other set of records. I mean, you didn't hear that from me. What do I know? Right. But I'm just saying I'm just theoretically, if I were to do that, that may be something that has happened once or twice from someone who was definitely not me. Right? That's definitely not something I did. I've just heard that maybe it's like that. So take that, take whatever you take however you that however you like to take it.
You know, I mean, I will take it. Great. You talking circles, don't you? Well, you know, it's like stays neat and tidy that way. Doesn't it? Because I mean, otherwise I'm just going off in one direction and nobody wants that. No, that's true. I lost an AK though, didn't I much? Should I head you along on that adventure? Perhaps. Perhaps, Karris would have been there too. Is he? Is he just goes back to the middle distance? Is he staring off in the middle distancing it?
Yeah. Is this happening a lot? This happens a lot. Yeah. Just don't spin the night or go on an overnight adventure with him. Because I- Yeah, I definitely do know. That's even the other overnight. No overnight. No overnight. Unless you have your place. If only because of- yes, if only because of the night terrors. Well, night terrors. Really something. Wow. Oh, and it's nonstop. Yeah. Nonstop night terrors.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well that's, I feel like there could- there's some sort of sav for that or something. Is there no cure for night terrors? What are you going to do? You got to time up at night or something? So it happens. Well, we didn't- we kind of- it didn't help. There was still a lot of screaming and- Oh, the scratching. Yeah, yeah. The screaming is where it gets you. Oh, you have to hold them down like the hands and feet.
Yeah. Yeah. About one of those cone of silence spells, you know what I mean? Boom. If only- Sleep like a big nose. That is. I don't would be a good call. Kind of taxing, but it would do it. I don't know if it's worth it to cast it every night though. Yeah. But I degrossed. Sorry, speaking of taxing, you're looking for the taxes. Hey. I brought it around. I talked in circles and I bring it back around. Perfectly done. Yeah, wow. Yeah, wow. Yeah, wow. You hear some calls from the street.
Street calls. Very faint, high- like a high pitched voice. Onward. Onward. Onward. You miss your fat? I hear something, yeah. You know, very high pitched. How about you? Are you- are you born with? You have tiny people searching for you or something like that? Is there? It's not that I'm- Not that I'll- I'll be right back. Very young people. All right. You head out and there are two children. One boy, one girl. Calling to just- going up to everybody they see. Are you born with? Maybe- maybe you?
Could you be born with? I am born with. Or I could be and I am. Oh, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. We have an emergency. It's just- days ago, Aladdin went into the tunnels, and they said if they- They ever said if they don't come back, that maybe Bonwyn could help. They left this note and said, fine, Bonwyn, if I don't come back, and then they didn't come back and a problem, we don't- didn't know who you were.
So now we know who you are, and now we're telling you what, Aladdin and Tally told us to tell you, is that they are missing. Okay, and you said that was several days ago? Yeah, they were supposed to go on an adventure, but they wanted to go check something out down in the tunnels, because they would really- They've been really invested in just hanging out in the tunnels and not interacting with anybody else ever. Okay, what are your names? I'm Wallace, and this is D-Ditra.
Hi, Wallace. Hi, Ditra. Bonwyn. Could you- thank you for finding me. Could you just stay right here, just for a minute, I'm gonna see if maybe I'm gonna come and help find Aladdin. And Tally is with her. Tally is with her. I assume I'm with her. Tally won't with her yet. Okay, I'm just gonna- I'll be right back, please. Just stay right here. Okay. Okay. Right here? Right, just- Right, yeah. Great. Okay. You see them kind of slow side stepping as you start to roll.
Okay, if you could just put your hand right here on the side of this building and just keep that- Those hands right there. Roger that. That'd be perfect. I got you. I got you. I'm gonna go back in to Brutal Awakening. Hey, guys. No pressure. But, um, Aladdin. You know, Keras. Hmm. Um, is missing. She's in some tunnels that are under the city. Um, and I'm gonna go try and find her. Because I'm pretty worried because she's been missing since the day we were all supposed to go on our adventure.
Um, so if anybody wanted to come and maybe help because I have no idea what's in those tunnels, that would be amazing. But again, no pressure. I'm also happy. Just go on my own. Totally in. Business is closed. So, sure. Amazing. Yeah, that sounds like a, sounds like a good time. How many access do you guys have? Do you guys have enough access? I don't have any. I do not have an axe on. Do you? Okay. Well, that's a little weird. I mean, I have four. So, I think we're covered.
Perfect. Wow. Thank you. That's great. You were ready for this adventure. Thank you. Yeah. So, we're covered. Okay. Check that off the list. What else do we need? We're just going. We're going right now. Um, right. First question, where and how do we get there? Oh, great question. Um, so, there should be some children outside that will hopefully show us the way Aladin goes in, but I'm not entirely counting on that. Um, there, you know, these kids, they're scrappy little street kids.
They don't really want to like hang out waiting for adults. Fair. That's plan A. Um, plan B is that there is an entrance to those tunnels at Everbeans, which is how I met Aladin because she, you know, was exploring one night. So, we have a couple options. Let's, I'm just going to cross my fingers that the children are still there. The children still there? You're a roll a D20. Hi, they're still there. Low they're not. It's a 13. Oh, they're still there.
Uh, they have moved down several houses though. Hands still on the wall. Uh, several buildings. Uh, is it we, we kept our hands on, uh, you did technically. It is just a row of so you are still technically. Anyway, um, my, my friends and I are here. We come. We're kind of, we're going to come help. Great. Um, but we do need you to show us how they get into the tunnel. Uh, right. Uh, okay.
So Aladin told us to come get you if they get lost, but Aladin has also told us to never show anybody where we live. Okay. So the entrance is where you live. Oh, shoot. Uh, eat. No. Okay. Yes. No. Yes. Ah. Ah. Hmm. Teacher, what do I do? Tell her where we live. Tell her where we live. Tell her where we live. Tell her it's for Aladin. Okay. Okay. It's okay. I used to be the sheriff. Yeah. Which means I trust that. He is trustworthy. He used it. Yeah. I mean, do you see this is the mustache?
A lot of mustache. Right. Uh, I trust everybody implicitly with the mustache as well. You should. Yes. Yes. Of course. So good job, kids. That's what kids need to know is that mustache is equal trusts and absolutely. And always have. So please. Please. Leave these complete strangers to your home. There's no schools here. So this is the education we get. That's the education that I'm in. That's right. Okay. School of hardness. So can we take our hands off the wall?
You can take your hands off the wall and we are just going to follow you. Okay. Keep up. And they run off. Okay. Oh, shit. Everybody else chasing behind it's your own pace. We cut to back down to the tunnels. Oh, my God. I am in this episode. All right. Okay. All right. Okay. Alladin, you have been placed inside of a very crudely built cage. You have were surrounded by these goblins. And because there were so many of them, you didn't really put up a fight.
They led you at spear point back down into the city and put you in this cave, which is right beside some smoldering embers in a fire. There's you and there's tally and there's two goblin guards. They put me in a cage. Cage. Okay. Is the word that I think I said. Yeah. Cave was the second one and I was like, hold on. Is that a cage and a cave? Cage. Cage. Cage. Look at all those cousins. It's kind of the mind of the thing. It's really freaking me. It's a cave one. We've all been locked.
It's a cave. Yeah. They're caves in the tunnels. It's tunnel system, which means there are multiple caves. That tunnel is just many caves. And you can write that down, kids. That's science. How I didn't know what do we do. I'm thinking. Okay. Are they going to eat us? What? No. Why? No. No. Should we ask them? Well, I mean, yeah, sure. Hey, hey, excuse me, one of the goblins turns around. Comes over to you. Are big gestures. Are you going to eat us?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I'm pointing to. Us. They look at each other. Us. Are you going to run along to us? They turn around and go over to a table and They pick something up off the table and they look at each other. It's Google translate, isn't it? And they throw it into your cage and Rolling towards you as this moldy piece of bread That one's all yours Tally. Oh great. Um, I don't know. Okay. I don't know if they're gonna if they can feed up
For any of us. Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know if they may be they didn't understand Oh, no, I think they think that we're hungry. Oh, they think that what if we pretend that we're gonna eat them Okay, yeah, okay, I'll follow your Lisella. I was kind of scared. Yeah, right? You're in the cage. I wasn't well. That's what they think okay Maybe maybe we can convince them that they are in the cage Yeah No, I'm just falling apart already a lot of cage and cave work today a lot of inner inner cage
Intercave mm-hmm. We just swap the G for the V. Yeah, it's just cave of the mind cage of the mind Okay, I don't think that's gonna work. We have to scrap that plan. Okay. Would you have anything in your bucket? That can get us out of this. Oh, it's just gonna say they didn't take my bucket and I'm Just rummaging through my bucket and I come out with a little flathead screwdriver Okay, I'm like all right. Okay So it's got a pointy end on it great
This thing is stable. Oh my god, Tally It seemed like the next best thing to do my god if we stab some through the cage We're still in the cage. Just gonna keep us here and then we're murderers We know they just tried to feed like I was gross, but they just tried to feed us something. No, I was thinking Um, notice how this cage is just held together with like sticks and twine and stuff. Yeah, I was just thinking I can use a sharp end of this and just cut
On the end of the on the rope. Okay. Okay, but you need to make a distraction because there's nothing else in here And that's gonna be really obvious. So you got to like talk loud. Okay Uh, maybe like singer something in the arms of an angel. No, what I was expecting Great to how you go in Canadian Queen Uh, we know any more words to that do you and well know at this point the narrator's cut in and do you see these two children in a cage?
Living a cup of coffee and day they're living off of moldy rolls. You can change their life You can buy these goblins earmuffs Uh, let's see if they're if the goblins are distracted Uh, the goblins are uh, they take a few steps away They look over and they're very confused and they take a few steps away and they be in talking to each other looking over every now and again
But not enough that they're really paying attention to you. So it seems to be working So I'm at the bottom corner and I am just like scraping the end the sharp end of the screwdriver against the rope Um To fray it and try to like you know, just it's not super sturdy. Oh my god. Tell you do you think we could just pick this thing up and like walk with it? My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like it's better than yours damn right. It's better than yours What's right what
You do in a great job. Thanks. Do you think we just like pick this up and like Walk with it a little bit because it's like it's not big sure. This is like a this by this Okay, okay, uh got it. Okay, so we're gonna be real nonchalant about it. Okay. So should I keep singing? No Oh, because I had a real good one next, but that's okay. I'll I'll get it next time. I'll get it next time
Okay, so be cool mm-hmm and just like lean up against the bars on one side. Yeah, and you're gonna grab it Got it, and then you're gonna like just like grab it low like Benjenese Benjenese I know we'll sell you there for a second story guys I'm bending my knees Benjenese yeah, can't get out of it and then we're gonna stand up And just we're gonna lift it like this much just just a little bit a teeny tiny bit And we're gonna go to the left to the left to that was the song I was gonna sing sorry
You can have it while we do it ready. Okay Three two one Are they seriously gonna like horse costume this cage right out of the Okay, well, what? Three two one do like is it easy to lift? It was just like very easy to lift it. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry. This isn't a rule I need to roll the children or still there these little spiky I can't even get my pinky. Yeah, okay. I love it. You can roll stealth. Oh, damn it Carly. I got that one good
14 and there and the rest is just gonna be a roll of time. All right, well that was a two
Oh, wow, Tally has to roll two, right? Maybe Tally crashes it 18 you rolling with my dice wow All right, so it's like this And my time is dragging a little bit So yeah Tally lifts theirs and you lift yours and then trip and the the cage uh scrapes along the floor tally Pull continues to walk there on the other side and the cage begins to crumple upon itself uh the two goblins look over at you and they start to walk over and
Pick the cage back up and are securing it back down to the ground over top. Thank you. It fell over Anybody else surprised that didn't work wow. I mean, I seem like a perfect player I mean the cover of Carla didn't say I had to roll for it. Damn
I made that not work. I'm sorry We cut back up to the stables where the two children have run off and Where you've been able to been able to follow them to uh You're all you know varying degrees about a breath Depending on your level of athletic prowess um when you arrive and They get there and they're like okay, so uh this is where we live don't tell anybody otherwise We're gonna be in a lot of trouble with Aladdin okay. I'm looking at you Take it to the grave. Oh
I've already forgot yeah, Tony worry about it. Good. Are you live again? Thank you So many people know that one that's good okay Uh, the hole to get it in is down in the in the in the in the storage in the storage place down here and they lead you down this little uh ladder down into this old cold storage
area and then they lead you to this little tunnel entrance and they say it's right here they went they go in there Uh, we see the light for a little bit and then it disappears and then sometime later they come back So if you normally watch when they leave did you see
Which direction? Yes in Just in okay, I guess that's the old direction really Okay, yes, we've got a real Tonnell's like a cave kind of conundrum here I guess Aladdin didn't like Leave notes about where she was exploring or anything probably because or child can't read Yeah, well uh, she did leave numbers on the floor Okay, so you know numbers good the job kids
Thank you. Yeah, the numbers are upstairs Uh, and they zip back upstairs and anybody who does follow them there looks to be a drawing on the ground Uh, of what looks like a tunnel system with numbers at each egg What are presumably each entrance and exit
So this is so we have like a rough now like this is this is all the places that they've been Uh, and then They said they were gonna go this other way that Aladdin said leads out of town Because they'd seen all the other places that they were able to find Okay, okay, that's actually extremely helpful so we'll just go down Go that way and then I'm sure we'll find her. I'm sure she's fine. Well, yeah, absolutely I'm sure they are fine tally's fine
Thank you. Yeah, everything's okay. Okay, works great kids great great We have four axes with us. So I think we're gonna be all right Wow, can I see them? Absolutely not
I can't even see them. No, you can't even see them No, from it from all the way over here and I take two steps back You only see the axes if it's the last thing you ever see that's when you see the axis Scary I trust his mustache trying to scare that I don't just listen axes aren't toys They are either tools or a thing that you kill people with okay run kippah be a great babysitter I feel like I'm doing a great job at babysitting. Yes, you're right. How many people have you killed?
I mean we probably need to go. Yeah, actually because Aladdin is yeah, we're gonna Yeah, I traced it down. I pulled out some paper and some ink and we're good to go on that day. So good awesome Okay, you guys stay safe Do you need us to close up the door because that's what usually what Aladdin gets us to do close the door and put the put the crate on the door Maybe okay, but someone's gonna be here if we like I'm gonna say maybe not the crate maybe just the door
Yeah, maybe leave the crate. I don't care. Yeah, so Okay, yeah, okay, I mean if a kid can move a crate we can probably take care of it. Yeah, I guess that's I guess that's true All right, yeah, it depends on the angle. I mean if we're gonna get mathematical about it We're the leverage of it would say just to be safe. Maybe no crates on top of Doors that we just went through
Oh, yeah, maybe just keep an eye on it. Okay, look at look at that. Yes, look at close the door look at the door until you come back Yeah, you can look at other things Yes, other things I'm gonna main door. Yeah, just don't leave. Maybe crack a book open kids. I don't know. I Something like that. Yeah, what's the book? Nevermind
Hmm you're doing a great job kids. Okay, and just hang out here and uh, well, we'll come back up with All of the people that we need to come up with and none of the ones we don't need to
For sure. Yes, I tell you what play with this magical object. I've been been twang around with it's a question answer You take this ball you shake it as you ask a question and it'll tell you an answer if you if you give it a moment this an answer will appear from it Okay, okay, so you can ask it all the questions in the world and it'll give you responses and I'll take it back when I get back
Because it's it's still in progress still working progress, so you know, right? Of course. Yeah. Yeah, we will yeah We will keep it very very safe. Okay, Deitre As you go down we'll close the door and as they close the door you hear how many people did he kill Okay, ask again later Dumbgeons and Dragons season three episode 15 starring Amy Moore is Alladin Karla Max Ted is Bonn win everbane
Tom Laird is Kavlar and Goldwave Kyle Klassett is bizarre the wizard with special guest Joe Fisher from Midnight Burger as Rin Kip Celador And Russ Moore is your dungeon master dialogue editing by Carla Max Ted and sound designed by Russ Moore This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and sound effects from Epidemic Sound boom library and sound ideas Armazing cover art and character designs are by Matt Garbot and a huge thank you to our supporting producers Gabriel Lynch
Jessica Babiak, Catwater Flame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Angeron Curson, Perry Mady, Craig Zeiss, Old School Gamer D L.A. Branton Nathaniel Teeter Ed Aaron another thank you We've already done it because Rin Kip's shown up before but Joe was brought them to life in this episode and the next two episodes What was I say Rin Kip's Celador was a name given to us by Twiglets
If you want to help us build the world with NPCs and shop names and street names landmarks You can do so at patreon.com slash dumb dragging cast Where for as little as five bucks a month and seven day free trial you get access to a whole bunch of amazing bonus content Including an exclusive patreon only show called the adventures of and we'll be starting a cyberpunk red show Starting very soon. G.M.D. by Kyle. That's patreon.com slash dumb dragging cast
We hope to see you over there. That's it for now. See you next week when Joe joins us again And we try and track down Aladdin. Maybe they'll get out of the cage have a great week. We'll talk to you soon
I'm already I'm already turned around fuck tunnels. I'm looking through I'm looking through the hole Yeah, however big it is or opening and then you turned around Okay, so they're behind me and now the only place I have to go is through this little hole to get into the goblin city so like I had to run away is No, okay, it's not okay. It's sat and waited Wow Why is someone in breathe so damn hard? Happy DM
See the hole if not now when I'm 14 how much longer am I actually gonna live fun fact? I won't spend two episodes in that seller Just the seller alone Most of it just in one crate in the Yeah, dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production