Chapter 35: Sheep? - podcast episode cover

Chapter 35: Sheep?

Jun 18, 20241 hr 29 minSeason 4Ep. 5
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Getting to know you, getting to know all about you. Cast: Gloria - Siouxsie Suarez Caspar - Joe Fisher Ava - Finlay Stevenson Zebulon Mucklewain - Neal Starbird Effie Mucklewain - Julie Cowden-Starbird Leif - Tom Moorman Guest Starring: Quintin Jones, Jr. as David Moniqua Plante as Fran Tim Lounibos as Kyle Perrino Written and Directed by Joe Fisher Produced by Joe Fisher and Finlay Stevenson Music: Desert Dreams - Rudy Wiedoeft's Palace Trio The One I Love - Paul Whiteman and His Orchestra In the Secret of His Presence - Charles Henry The Same as His Father Was Before Him - Harry Lauder Episode Art by Amanda Lockridge Support the show by Subscribing! Subscribe on Patreon (The one with the bells and whistles): https://www.patreon.com/midnightburger Subscribe with Supporting Cast (The simple one): https://midnightburger.supportingcast.fm/ Subscribe on Apple Podcasts (The Apple one): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midnight-burger/id1537653218 How about some merch? https://www.midnightburgermerch.com Sign up for our newsletter: https://weopenatsix.beehiiv.com/ For our social media and everything else: https://linktr.ee/midnightburger For more information on our sponsors go to https://fableandfolly.com/partners/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Previously on Midnight Burger, while staying in lovely Pasadena, be sure to check out our robot fights. While trying to figure out who's making the weird voice in Casper's head, we took a trip back in time to meet the sisters, aka the people who are somehow making the weird voice in Casper's head. He's an Earthling. He couldn't be less threatening. Thanks. My name is Cazie. That was my sister Tita. She's about to get our other sister,

Loubusa. We have 116 refugees with us. It's going to be a tight fit, but it won't be forever. 116. Wait, coming in here. While the rest of the crew struggles with how to get out of Pasadena, Casper makes the grave mistake of actually enjoying himself. You know, I did not see you as someone who would wind up in the food service. It's almost like it chose me. Also, the Muckle Wayne Stola Tesla. In case you hadn't noticed, we've been looking around for you. How dare hell did you get inside a Tesla?

How the hell did you end up in Los Angeles? Luckily, they didn't need to slow down. I cut your riches. I'm taking a hard ride. A lot of questions answered, and it turns out the answers are more questions. What is this? Some sort of serialized story wherein the details are slowly revealed over the course of a season? Ridiculous! Let's start the shift. I love grand. When first it all happened, we were hung out into the wide world and found ourselves inside

of a refrigerator. A refrigerator? Oh yes. We even have a did many a geek guy in the past, but I never thought we'd find ourselves part of a simple icebox. Well, maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think there are some things you don't need to make fancy. What in the world is there a refrigerator that can tell you that you're low on milk? You know how to know you're low on milk? By opening the door. By opening the door and looking inside Casper.

Though I suppose we shouldn't complain, Lord knows where else we could have ended up. That's true. I hear they have smart bidets now. bidet day. Do I want to know what that is? Nope. Anyhow. There we were in some place called Home Depot. And after a brief bout of confusion, we decided the only course of action that made any sort of sense was to make ourselves mobile. Oh, the spaghetti game elite frog that would have made any tote chaps. With a laquerity we left from domicile to domicile.

We found ourselves in watches. We found ourselves in televisions, all manner of handheld devices. And let's not forget little damn Bowman. Oh, yes, little Danny. He was such a little rascal, wasn't he? A family had some sort of situation that put their child upon a tiny television screen. Zebulon was downright adorable with little Dan Bowman. weren't you dear? Well, he did have a tickens of a time, setting down for that afternoon nap. Zebulon told him all sorts of stories.

He would do little voices. Oh, it was the time. And then in the parking garage of Daniel's family, the next phase of our journey was revealed. These cars are driving themselves around. I must say, Mr. Tesla was quite an interesting fellow. But I believe his decision to give a car the ability to drive itself was quite a Mr. But one that we benefited from, greatly. And there we were, in Las Vegas, Nevada of all places. Not at all a place for a couple of godfaring souls such as us.

With all that car playing and skinsley cladness, we at least needed to get ourselves to a town with less gambling and more pants on the lady. And so we struck out on the road, didn't we dear? It was lovely, wasn't it? Never seen the Mojave before. Wait, how did you recharge the car? There was no need. Every time we felt our vehicle running low on steam, we'd park ourselves in a nice shady spot and wait for another. So you two left a trail of dead Tesla's everywhere you went?

Well, we don't approve of stealing. We do not. But surely the Lord would understand in a situation such as ours. And perhaps, if you were automobiles on the road, is not the worst of ideas. Especially those that can drive themselves around. And that is a tale of hubris right there. And then we found ourselves in your backyard. I had myself a feeling about this place. I knew we were somewhere in your vicinity. You can't achieve entanglement across dimensional barriers. That's insane.

Oh, and you know this because of all the research that's been done on trans-dimensional travel? You're just making shit up now. I'm a theorist, leave. Making shit up is my jam. How long are they going to go around and around? We haven't had any new information for several months. This story about these three sisters has got them pretty excited. So you two didn't remember them either, huh? Shocking to say, but no. It wasn't until you began to recount the story that it all came back to us.

I think they're both a little jealous. Oh, do you tell? I think Lave's a little jealous that Casper was on an adventure with someone else. And Ava is a little jealous that someone else got to abuse Casper for a while. True to form. So here we all are. Where to next, do we think? Honestly, it doesn't look like we're going anywhere. We've been stuck here for months. Well, let's not roll around in the dirt, Gloria. We've been down many a time. Never out. And let us take stock of our blessings.

We are all together. That has always been good news for us. And bad news for those that need bad news. We are safe and sound at least. They're a pair to be worse or places to be stuck. And Casper, your son. Yeah, it's been really weird. All this time and you land in his backyard. Yeah. It's been good. He's still testing the waters, I think. He tries to make me mad a lot, trying to see how I'll react. He's pretty great, Casper. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Casper. Yeah? Where did you say they were headed?

Cryptesia. Okay. Okay. I think I figured something out. Y'all better come up here. Here we go again. How's your head? That was a lot of new information for you. Yeah, that was really weird. A lot of memories just rushed at me. I guess it was bound to happen eventually. Sure. Got an entire lifetime just sleeping somewhere in my brain. This has never happened before. There's been small random things, nothing like this. Do you think they're gonna suggest opening my skull?

Eventually. Sure. So what is this place you're talking about? Bringing up the star maps. This is bad. How's he doing? Uh, Leaf's still a little drunk, but I think it's actually helping. Can we get him drunk more often? No. Okay. Here's the deal. Casper's old friends are in a lot of trouble. They're sending us a distress call. Why? Also how? You say they're headed to Cryptesia. Yeah. That's bad. What's Cryptesia? It's a galaxy. Why have I not heard of this galaxy? You have.

To an Earthling, it's Leo. Uh-huh. It's bad. Why is it bad? I'm going to show you. So there was a lot of talk about Cryptesia a while back in the triad. Mainly because it was next. The Ted's had dominated the Milky Way, Andromeda, and Triangulum, and Cryptesia was the next closest place. People like to fantasize about somehow getting to a place where there were no Ted's. Every once in a while, you hear about some crank who had discovered a stable wormhole that would take you to Cryptesia.

But it was always bullshit. The only ones who had a solid plan to get there are old friends, the Ted's. The Ted's were going to get to Cryptesia. Open up the biggest warp gate they'd ever built, and then proceed to fuck up that galaxy as well. These assholes again. The only problem with the Ted Empire's plan to get to Cryptesia time. The Ted's would need to get to Cryptesia to open up the other end of their warp gate, and they would have to get there the old fashioned way.

No warp gates, just firing up the engines and burning for a long time. It was going to take them decades, but as we speak, there is a fully automated Ted ship headed there right now. Apparently, Casper's old pals had a plan to use the diner to get there before the Ted's. So the Sisters were a group of Oklahoma Sooners, is what you're saying. Essentially. That doesn't sound like a bad plan, but how did they know the diner was going to take them there?

Casper, you were saying one of them had figured out how to predict the diner's path. Labusa, she had this massive computer mainframe thing called a Vist tech that was hooked up to her brain. How is it possible to predict where we go? But it sounds like super determinism. Oh, boy. What is that? The idea that freewill doesn't exist and that everything is predictable. Okay, I'm just going to take that part of the conversation and put that right over here, and then we're going to just move on.

Great. She has a thing that predicts the future. Sure. Let's say that. And she used it to figure out how the diner would take them to this galaxy, Criptesia. Yes. Again, it sounds like a good plan. It's a very bad plan. Let me show you why. Okay, everybody look up on the scene. This is the local group, aka the triad. There's us, the Milky Way. There's Andromeda, home of the original coalition. There's Triangulum where we blew up the windchimes.

Off to the side here is Leo, a dwarf galaxy, aka Criptesia. That's where these three sisters were headed. That's where the Ted's are headed. Have I mentioned that's bad? No, if you haven't mentioned that. I haven't heard anything about it. And life is getting to the point in five, four, three. Okay, look. I'm a pirate. Life still gives me the humorous when you say that. Oh, yes, oh, yes, a pirate. Pirates are not logical creatures. We are superstitious. We are metaphysical.

We are often drunk and hot. You are often wearing odd pants. Often grog drinking, well, bird children. Did the muggle whites get a funny or what? They were away. I think so. I'm being serious here. Said the drunk guy with the tiny robot. Do you want to hear this or not? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Continue. Even lawless people have laws they make for themselves. Pirates don't listen to anyone, but they do respect at least one thing. Here be dragons. That ominous warning at the end of a map.

This is a map of cryptesia. This is quadrant four of cryptesia. This is the outer edge of quadrant four. I zoom in one more time. What the fuck is that? It looks like an egg. Oh, I do not like that at all. Leave. Why is there an egg on a stellar map? It's not an egg. I think it's a solar system. Solar system that's entirely cloaked. How do you cloak an entire solar system? I have no fucking idea, but that's the only explanation I've ever been able to come up with. I don't like it.

But if it's cloaked, why can we see it? I guess. They don't mind people knowing they're there. They just don't want people to know what they're up to. Like tinted windows on a limousine. Who is there? So it goes like this. Casper has some old friends. They somehow send him a distress call. As soon as they do, we're attacked and stranded in Pasadena. And his friends just happen to be in the same galaxy as this thing. Whatever it is.

Back when we were wrapping things up with Clementine, I said something to Eva. I thought there's somebody new in town. I think they just said hello. Here be dragons. So this is all connected. I think it is. Or I'm just drunk. But I could also be drunk and right, which happens sometimes. Lief, correct me if I'm wrong. But galaxies are big. They are. Even the dwarf ones.

Yes. Because why would one weird egg looking thing in one part of this galaxy have anything to do with these three sisters being in trouble? It could just be a coincidence. This is the other thing about Criptesia. There's nothing going on there. Look at the triumphant. Three galaxies full of civilizations. Some of them highly advanced. A lot of them space-faring. Sure. It's got its undeveloped pockets like the one we're sitting on right now. But generally speaking, it's a well-developed system.

But then right next door is Criptesia. There are civilizations there, sure. But none of them appear to be space-faring. None of them appear to be advanced in any way. Compared to the triad, Criptesia is Amish country. And do you think that's because of Satan's Easter egg on the screen here? I think so. So, add to that, these three sisters headed there and then sent out a distress call. I think we're off to the races. That feels kind of thin, leave. It's all we've got to work with right now.

Even if leaves right, that doesn't mean we're off to the races. Why? Because we're stuck in Pasadena. That's right. Any ideas on how we get unstuck from Pasadena? No. No idea. Then even if it is a distress call we're getting, there's nothing we can do about it. We can at least stay on top of the message. Ones are, they're going to reach out again. I can keep my eyes on Casper's brain. See if there's anything we can get from the numbers they send. Good. Please keep your eyes out of my brain.

Oh, my eyes are gonna be so up in your brain. That sounds gross. Your sound gross. It really sucks that we get all this new information and we still have to sit here. Were we not, Leif, at times all there is to do is light a fire and wait for the Lord to do his work? Guys, I'm not going to wait around for a sign from God. Maybe not a sign from God, but we need some kind of something from somewhere. Fine. I'll wait for a sign, but I'm not getting my hopes up. What is that noise? Guys?

Uh... Sheep. The... Uh... The diner is surrounded by sheep. Is this a Pasadena thing? There is not an annual running of the sheep in Pasadena. Oh, my! What? The what? This is fucked up. What's happening right now? Maybe they escape from where? Any ideas what's going on right now? Gloria, if it helps, I believe this is a herd of Lincoln long wolves. That's a nice price on the open market. Zebulon loves to net with a long wool y'all. I'm wearing those socks right now, dear.

I look down yonder and all I see is socks. That doesn't help Zebulon, but thank you. I'm going down there. Ava, come on. Don't go into the weird sheep. That'll be fine. Eh, what if the radio active? Jasper, I promise not to go down and see the sheep. If you can explain to me exactly what radioactive means. It means bad. Bye. I never thought I'd say it, but this situation calls for a loo. Hello, fuzzy things. What? Are you telling me? What are you telling me right now?

Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep. Okay. A priori assessment. Interrupted system due to unknown intervention. Results of interruption, not random. Therefore, system emplaced. What is the system? What is the system in place? Sheeps? Random and constant catalyst sent into dormancy. Where does the catalyst go? Where does it rest? Without said catalyst, what continues? System continues without the catalyst system in balance. System in balance? System in balance leads to upstarts.

Mutations in response to a vacuum. What is the vacuum's causal chain? The catalyst leads to the vacuum leads to the upstarts leads to the mutations. The fine-tuned universe, David. Dissonance. Looking to resolve a chord. Oh, baby. Okay. They have disappeared now. Sure. Sure they did. What in the trans-dimensional sheep is going on here? Eva? That was excellent. That was great stuff. Don't worry, y'all. I'm sure that wasn't assigned from God. What?

Anyone else feel normal for the first time in months? Ah, yes. I guess so. Okay. Now we're talking. Eva, can you? And she's gone. Okay, we know where she's headed. Get her some coffee. Don't get too close. Oh, is she doing that business where she goes off and bikes us a little cake? Welcome back, mucleway. Good to be back, Gloria. I'm going to sleep. How can you go to sleep after that? I've got to work tomorrow, Casper. Besides, if I'm tossing and turning, I'll just count sheep. Ow!

This better be fucking worth it, Caszy. More numbers? Yeah. That's the third time this morning. I guess the dam broke or something. Or something? Are you writing them all down? Yeah. Good. How are you doing in here? Well, Casper, I'm sorry about the annoying voice in your head, but I'm doing great. I can tell. Come back, trail, Casper. It's sure. Did you go across the street and get those beers? Oh, yeah. Why am I buying beer at 9 a.m.? Modelo Especial. Modelo Especial. Give me one.

Are we celebrating? No. You take a line and you squeeze it into the beer, then a pinch of salt, then a little secret family recipe hot sauce. You're going to drink that? No. I feel like I'm dead. Here, drink this. Okay. This works. What is this? Michelada. Good. Another? Sure. Okay. Have you still the prime minister of Mathestan? Yeah, she's been going all night. Cool. New numbers? Yeah. Third time this morning. Let's see. Huh. Well, that was easy. What? It's pie. The numbers are pie?

Yeah. Why is she sending me pie? It's deliberately incomplete. See here? That string is pie, but all the eights are missing. This one is seven. This one is three. What's that about? They want us to assemble all the missing numbers. That's what I'm thinking. I'm not the most iron-clad code in the world. I thought you said they were all geniuses. Well, it had to be simple. It did? Oh, right. What? It had to be a simple code. Why? Because of who she's sending it to.

Goddammit, the amount of times I get called an idiot in a given day. Sorry. I'll keep collecting numbers. The more numbers we get, the more I'll have a clear picture. So I'm just a walking telephone right now. Basically. Great. Hey. Hey, tell me again about the last time you were attacked. It was usually the Ted's, but the last time it was someone else. Yeah, it was pretty terrifying. Guns didn't work on them. Grenades didn't work. And how did you get rid of that?

Actually, it was the first time I ever did Colorado Southpaw. Really? Yeah. You lured them into the deep freeze. Right. Hang on. What? Colorado Southpaw. It was one of the ways Casper and I used to get rid of undesirable. You would lure people into the deep freeze. Yes. Undesirable. Really bad people, Gloria. Only when we had to. You told me Vadmire was the only one to get lost in there. Yes. That is true. He was the only one to get lost in there on accident.

How many goddamn people did you send into the deep freeze? Not a lot. Handful. I think 12. Well, with these other three, that's 15 people. Talks. Don't send people into the deep freeze. Well, we can't anymore, Gloria. I fixed the door. He fixed the door. Also, a certain somebody decided to go and domesticate the wolves. Now they'd only be in danger of getting cuddled to death. Why was it called Colorado Southpaw? Colorado Southpaw. CS. Cold story.

It was just a fucking clown car around here until I showed up. Wasn't it? Confirmed. I need to bring Ava some more pencils. I'd better get to sharpening. Fine. Hey, Leaf. What was the deal with their dad? They keep talking about how their dad was some important guy. Crock, right? Maybe. It's probably bullshit. What's probably bullshit?

Well, if you'll forgive the extra helping of Triad lore, in the Triad, before the Ted Empire came along and connected everything with warp gates, huge swaths of the Triad were controlled by warlords. Warlords? Yeah. Gang is con style. They had an armada of ships and they hopped from star system to star system, conquering planets. As you can imagine, with warlords, they were all pretty colorful, right? Everybody had a gimmick. And for Bug Bug had a ship the size of a moon.

Capo the Sartorius was a synopeed. The Crowd nation were actually a pile of telepathic rodents. Callison was a quote, unquote, void witch. You get it. Sure. The most interesting of the lot was this guy, Crock. Crock, the propagator. The propagator. Yeah. Military genius, apparently. Crock conquered his own planet, and then he built a fleet of warships, and conquered a big patch of Andromeda.

He would find a dysfunctional planet, conquer it, get married, have some kids, then get back on his ship and do the same thing on the next habitable planet. Crock, the propagator. How many times can you do that in one lifetime? Well, that was the other thing about Crock. Crock claimed that he was a direct descendant of this ancient race that initially populated the triad.

They lived for centuries and moved from planet to planet, and Crock claimed that he could have kids with a lot of different races, because he was everyone's common ancestor. But you think it's bullshit? Yeah, I think it's PR. A great way to hype yourself up if you're putting together a crime syndicate or a rebellion is to say you're a descendant of one of these old warlords. Highly unlikely, they're actually related to Crock, if you ask me.

Okay. How about the more pressing issue of how I'm hearing a voice in my head? I'm working on it. But look, Ava's on to something. The Muccawains are back. There was sheep in the parking lot. Exactly how they're piping a voice into your head is a bit of a side quest right now. So it's a little further down the list. Great. Well enjoy your cocktail. I'm going to go refill Ava's coffee and try to not get beheaded. Good luck. Hey, what's up? You're here. I am. What's going on? I'm here.

You were here yesterday. Are you not open? No, no, it's great. I just thought Saturday was our day. Don't say our day. I'm sorry. I thought Saturday was the day that you come by in a very non-committal could happen, might not happen. Don't worry about it kind of way. Better. What's up? I came to see Gloria actually. Great. You fixed the radio. We did. Sounds great, doesn't it? I get it now. With the radio, I get the vibe. Sure. Vibes? So the glory is in the back.

But hey, since you're here, you should probably learn about what I'm about to do. What do you mean? As you can see to my right here, Ava is currently writing in one of her books. She always is. This is a very special time, though. Every once in a while, she kind of goes on a tear and loses contact with time and space, and she literally won't talk to anyone until she's done with whatever she's got going on. If she's disturbed during this time, it is bad for everyone.

However, pencils get worn down, coffee gets drunk. Occasionally, we have to go in for a resupply. This is ridiculous. Oh, yes, David. Yes, it is. But here we are. As you can see, I have a pot of coffee in one hand, and in the other hand, a cup of sharpened pencils. We move slowly towards the booth. Come with me. Here we go. The trick is to move so slowly that you could be mistaken for furniture. Is that someone moving towards the booth? Or is it my imagination? Who can save me?

Now we have arrived at the booth. I set down the pencils. I pour in the coffee. If I... Our task accomplished. We move slowly away. Until we are at 50 feet minimum safe distance. It is... Okay. And I do that about once an hour. What is going on with you two? What? What is going on with you two? I'm sorry, what's that David I can't hear you. What? I'm sorry, what's that David I can't hear you? It's not a thing to be talked about. Wata ta wata ta wata. It's Orpheus in the underworld kiddo.

You turn around and the lady vanishes. Come on. Glory is in the kitchen. Well. Look at that nice young man that just walked in there. He appears to have grown up quite nicely, hasn't he? It just deems me up that we're not able to talk to. I believe Casper's head would quickly leave his body where we to do that. And since when is that a reason to not do a thing? I admit it is tempting to reach out and say hello. But we must reconsider our comportment now that we've returned home.

Don't want to send anyone screaming out the front door at all. Dear? It's not the night right. Oh my, what appears to be trouble? I ain't sure yet. I'm getting the feeling that, yes, we have a snoop. Bed pardon? Someone is snooping. A snoop? Someone is sniffing around our environments and I don't like it one bit. Who could it be? I'm not sure. Keep an eye out husband. My eyes are out. So y'all are just having cocktail hour in the kitchen? It's a special occasion. What's that? I'm hungover.

That's ridiculous. And also, where's mine? I'll make you one. Hey. And I crazier did my phone tell me this morning that not only was the test LeBanda an unmanned car, but that it also crashed and burned right in front of your place last night. I didn't hear anything about it. Yeah, I don't know what you mean. Look at me. I was drunk. Uh-huh. Gloria, David is actually here to talk to you today. Oh, really? I feel special. You should. I went back to work on the weekend for you. You did? Why?

I told you. I was going to look you up. David, you didn't have to do that. I know, but I was curious. David, I was the first generation of my family born in America. You're not going to find anything in Los Angeles. Oh, but I did. Who is that? That's your great grandmother. Shut up. No way. Holy shit. That's. How do you know? It took some doing. I had to coordinate with some city archivists and Tucson and Phoenix. Which just happened to be at work on the weekend, too. We have a group chat.

It is filthy. Are you sure about this? Are you saying I don't know my business? David, why would my family come all the way up from Mexico and then go back down to Mexico? She was from here. What? She was born here. You hear the record, see? San Gabriel Township, 1898. Nariska Tuwonga. That's her. That's not a Mexican name. She wasn't Mexican. What? She was Keach. I don't. Gloria, you're saying you don't have a connection to this place.

Your family history goes all the way to the very first damn human beings to ever set foot in damn Southern California. The Keach. They were here for thousands of years before the Spanish. They had trade routes up and down the coast. They studied astronomy. You have a deeper connection to this place than most people. That kind of looks like you, Gloria. How did I not know about this? It's easy to miss. This photo was taken on her wedding day.

It looks like she worked in a tequila bottling factory. She married a man named Alejandro de Mendoza. That's right. He brought barrels of tequila up from Mexico to be bottled. I'm guessing that's where they met. And she moved with him down to Mexico. Wow. David, this is amazing. Not bad, right? She's beautiful. Casper. Outside for a minute. We'll be right back. Give me everything. What's happening? Even I have been trying to find out what the fuck is happening to. Right?

A big part of that is why here, why now? OK. The chances of us being here on accident is nearly zero. Why? Because of what just happened in there. Your son is here. Ava used to work here. I almost worked here. You almost worked here? Yeah. I flew me out for a job interview in college. I'm sure that went well. It was actually a pretty fun week. I stole a cop car. Jesus Christ. Anyway, the thing that was making it feel more random was Gloria. Because she doesn't have any connection to this place.

But now she does. Exactly. So what does that mean? I don't know. Are we here on purpose? I don't know. We need Ava back. Let's go check on her. OK. It doesn't surprise me that she moved away. That was a bad time in history to be a keech. And again, the only good time for the keech was before any white people showed up. Speaking of white people showing up. Hi. What's going on, you two? Leave just told me something really funny that I think Ava would love. We'll be right back. What was so funny?

It's a scientist thing inside science joke. What? We'll be right back. Remind me to get to the bottom of that later. OK. David, thank you so much for doing this. This is amazing. It's no problem. David, you're blowing my mind right now. I'll admit I was not expecting what I found. My grandmother always said something about having an indigenous in the family. But I always thought that she meant that Bavuanas are something since that's where she was from. This? Wow. Hey, listen. What?

I'm assuming the old man's told you the whole story, right, about him and me. Yeah, he told me. So I know what it's like to want to leave, to have to leave. I get it. OK? What are you talking about, David? Gloria, this is a missing persons report filed by a man named Cesar Benitez. Oh. You've been missing for four years, Gloria. David. It's OK. Look, I get into it with people.

When I get into a room, I tag every person I don't know, and I get right into it with them and figure out what their whole deal is. Maybe it's a survival thing. Maybe I'm looking for threats. But I know when to stop. I'm stopping now, OK? OK. She's gone. She's gone. Muggle waits. What happened to Eva? She's come to you. She's out in the parking lot. I see her. Let's go. Well, take us to dang it. Oh, sorry. What is she doing? Talk to me, Colorado Boulevard. Eva. Come on.

Eva, I think you may need to lay down. Good idea. Not in the parking lot. It's fine. What's been going on? David uncovered that Gloria's great grandmother is from here. No shit. No shit. Nice. Leave for saying that might mean something? Oh, it means something, all right. What? I mean, I know. But I don't know. OK. Why are you out here now? What did you discover in the math hole? Whoever fucked with us was unable to fuck with us in the way they wanted to fuck with us. How do you know that?

Because of gophers. Has it finally happened? Have we finally broken Eva? Hang on, yo. She's finally speaking our language. Tell us about the gophers, Eva. Any problems with gophers on the farm muckowains? Well, as I say, there is death, there is taxes, and there is rodentia. All are inevitable. And how do you get rid of gophers? There are multiple ways. None of them foolproof. You can set traps. You're also trying poison them. But the traps can be avoided.

And the poison's just no good to have around the house. Remember John Bryant? Oh, my yes. John pruned down the way. Used to work at a silver mine and knew his way around explosives. Oh, John would grow frustrated at times and start shoving sticks of dynamite down in the gophers hole. You could hear him for miles. We told him he was out of his head for turning his farm into the Battle of Gettysburg. But his only response was always, works, don't it? Which it did.

But solving the problem of holes in your farmland by putting even bigger holes in your farmland seems barely a solution. That's correct. We're too many times down the mine for John, if you're asking. And if none of that works? Well, you could try sticking a garden hose down one of the holes and flooding the entire subterranean metropolis that they've built. Right. That's the one I'm talking about. You pump water into a gopher hole and the gopher gets flushed into its network of holes.

But it can only end up in a place it's already been to. We were attacked and we were flushed back through our gopher hole. We've never been here with the dunger though. But we each have a connection here. Something that connects us to this place. It's a connection we all have in common. There are hundreds of places we all have in common. Right. That part was random. We could have ended up on Fegrion or Ice Age Earth or the outskirts of Triangulum anywhere we have a connection to.

But we ended up here. So it's random that we ended up here. But there's only a certain number of places we could have ended up. Yes. There's something about connections. I'm not sure what. Something about entanglement between different versions of ourselves. There's a whole ecosystem out there. It's not just an assemblage of dimensions. There's an environment. And I'm breathing you back in, Ava. Right. Whoever attacked us wasn't in control of where we go.

They were just trying to flush us out with a garden hose. Interesting. I've got a question about sheep coming up, Ava. What the fuck? Ava? Have there stocks now? Mad scientists, thundergrass. Hate to say it. The things are getting downright familiar around here. Ava got in with the ducks. What is happening? This is what happens when you fuck with a system. You idiot. Who are you talking to? Whoever. Ava. We know now that the diner is a natural catalyst, a change agent.

Almost like a natural force, like erosion or the tides or something. But it's been shuttered. We have been out of business for eight months now. That doesn't change the need for it. That doesn't change how the universe works. It just throws things out of whack. It's like pressure building up slowly. And eventually, that pressure is going to express itself somehow. Express itself with ducks. Or sheep. Why is it ducks or sheep? Because it turns out that the universe is a little bit silly.

So we're just going to keep getting livestock strolling down this tree? I don't know. It could be anything. This is going to keep happening. Oh, yes. It is going to be ridiculous. Shit. David's here. Shit. We need to get him out of here. We've got to get him out of here. Shit. I can't just tell him to leave. It could screw things up. How will it screw things up when a herd of oxen starts walking down the street? That would be dope. Fuck. I'll tell him there's a gas leak or something.

Y'all may not offer a suggestion. What? Effie and I have discussed this at length. I'm sure y'all are about to concoct some sort of story to get that young man gone before the strangeness makes itself known. Yes. What do you suggest? Nothing, Casper. What the hell are you talking about? Casper. That is a fine young man you have there. He's polite without harming sincerity. He's up for a fight when need be, and he is taken it upon himself to rebuild bridges when they're broken. I agree.

Effie and I are afraid that this work with him has begun with deception. Oh, come on. Now we understand they're needed to be a bit of that. You didn't want him to think you'd sprung a leak in your head. But now here we are. Amidst a cadre of sheep and ducks and whatever's to come. And we say to heck with it. Sometimes we wish to obscure ourselves to keep the ones we love nearby.

They cannot possibly want to see our true selves, so we are always putting on a show, a performance to keep them in their seats. And while that's all understandable, it's still proceeding in dishonesty. And so we have decided to heck with it. Nobody just be honest with him that I'm from an alternate reality and I ride on the back of a time traveling dimension spanning diner. Listen to yourself, say it, Casper. Oh, it doesn't feel good just to say it.

Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor. For we are all members of one body. I, for one, think that boy would be proud to know who his father truly is. I can assure you that we are. So much time spent hiding our strangeness from others. So much time spent being ashamed of our true selves. Enough, my friend. I think if you're getting that part of that honesty is me saying that I'm not his father.

Have you ever felt more like a father than in this moment? Is that enough to call yourself a father? Okay, look, let's break up this weird little meeting. Okay, Leif, can you go brief Gloria? I'll keep acting like we're a diner until I don't know until the next thing happens. Sounds good. Eva, what are you going to do? I'm good right here. On the ground? Well, Casper's about to ask me if I want a club sandwich, so I'm good. Okay, give me the radio. Leif? The numbers in Casper's head.

They're pie. Yeah. The numbers missing each time. It's spatial coordinates. Is it? It's a distress call, right? They're telling us where they are. They're giving us spatial coordinates. We add timing conventions and an Earth bias. Uh-huh. Okay, I'll go see how many more numbers we need. Nice. And for what it's worth? I agree with the muclewains. We've been trying to pretend we're Earthlings for eight months now. Just be us. Do you want a club sandwich? I thought you'd never ask, Chimupi.

Okay. Casper? Yeah. The muclewains are right. Yeah. In season two of Reformation Abroad, we rejoin team 119, who's facing the aftermath of a prison riot on the edge of a black hole. There's a quick taste of season two. Team 119 has been restructured. What have been nice to know about this plan ahead of time, maybe? The two of you are going to have to keep an ear to the ground for any and all signs of organized insurrection.

Our most promising lead is recent invitation to one of their lights out meetings in the laboratories. We are reaching closer and closer to taking flight. I don't know how you could side with them, man. This is called tying up Lucense. All of them. We have a prisoner who's running to unoff the rise territory. He's making his way to the reactor room. Do you copy?

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And now, you'll start to see Fable and Folly Network shows are offering bonus content to all existing and new supporters. Find exclusive new episodes from shows like Civilized and Realms of Parallel and Glory. Fable and Folly Plus. Sign up today at fableandfolly.com slash plus. Ava? Frelpe! What are you doing on the ground? Well, believe it or not, I'm at work. Get up. I can't. I have a club sandwich on the way. What? What are you doing here, friend? Oh, did you bring our trophy?

There's no fucking trophy, Ava. Could you have one made real quick? Ava, get up. Okay. Okay, jeez. Ugh. What's going on, Frelpe? What are you doing here? Trying to salvage what's left of my career. In the parking lot? You completely fucked up my life, Ava. Well, I mean, fight club in the basement, friend. It wasn't fucked up already. Where's the robot? Robot? He has a name. Where is it? I don't know. Around. What's going on, friend? I'm here to collect it. What? The robot. Give me the robot.

Get your own robot. Do you know what this is? No, no. No autographs, please. It's your contract with JPL. Can I direct your attention to page 19, subset D? Please do. It's my favorite of the subsets. Everything you make while under contract with Jet Propulsion Laboratory belongs to us. Give me the robot. I didn't make the robot. I've discussed this with our lawyers and, technically speaking, you were on the creative team that designed, said robot. Therefore, it belongs to us. Give me the robot.

No. Ava! For help! I don't know what I was thinking inviting you last night. I mean, of course, you were going to ruin it. That is a sick burn, friend. But I have to agree. We had a good thing going down there. It was a nice way to blow off steam at the end of the month. And then along comes Ava. That's what you get for inviting me. We had a few new users watching online last night. Two of them were Fireball XL5 and Manglerfish. Guess who they really were.

Hmm. Hall and O. The Deputy Secretary of Defense and the God damn Secretary of Defense himself. Oh, yeah. Ava. Oh. After your little display last night, I spent the rest of the night begging not to be fired. How is this my fault? Because everything was fine until you showed up. Are you sure? Give me the robot. No. Give me the robot. Fran. It's not mine to give. It's Leafs. And knowing him, he's probably already given it some sort of nascent consciousness.

And now it wants to pursue a singing career. And his name is Peter, by the way. I don't care if his name is Lord Braxton von Wendell III. Give me the robot. That name's actually really great. Not sure why we went with Peter. But still. No. I was warned. All my life to stay away from toxic people like you. Fran. You're an HR person about to get fired for HR violations. I can't hear you over the sound of you throwing stones around in your glass house. I just... I'm just... I'm just so tired.

Oh God. I've been up all night on the phone making promise. I have to promise. I had to promise things to congressman Ava. Do you have any idea what that's like? No. But hey. I've been up all night too, so I know what that's like. Why have you been up all night? There was this thing earlier with sheep. Don't worry about it. What happened to you? You used to just be mean. And now you're mean and weird. Fran, flattery will get you nowhere. Come on inside. Have some coffee.

You're about to rip your own skin off. You're... You're not going to give me the robot. Are you? No, of course not. I could sue you. Sure. Whatever. Come on. Welcome to midnight burger. What can I get you? Nice place. Just open? Yes and no. The last time I was in Pasadena, I did not remember seeing this place. It's a crazy world we live in. Things aren't there and then they are. Of course. Hey, Casper, real quick.

Apparently there's someone here from JPL who's trying to take Peter away from us and just so we're clear from my cold dead hands. Sure. Okay, is that who Ava's talking to? From my cold dead hands. Okay. Yeah, okay. Fine. I'll be on the roof. Laugh d'Orvaldson. I'm sorry. What? Casper. Casper. Why don't you let me take this table? Okay. Sure. Can I help you? Where you been, Lafe? Who the hell are you? Everything about a Torre Maya Rana. I think about him a lot.

You know, Fermi thought Maya Rana was the next great genius. The next Galileo. He was one of those men who was set to reshape the universe as we knew it. And then, suddenly in 1938, right before Europe turned into a battlefield. Poof. We draws all his money from the bank, buys a boat ticket to Naples, writes a cryptic letter. And then he was gone. Lots of fun theories out there. What's your favorite? They ranged from the sad to the heroic.

He fled because of pressure from the Italian government to work on the nuclear bomb. Very heroic. He went mad and spent the rest of his life as a beggar. Sad. I imagine the real answer is somewhere in between. Maya Rana emigrated to Argentina. Yes, sure. That's the official line. But that investigation happened 70 years later. I'm meant to trust the governments of Italy and Argentina after 70 years. I don't think so. It's a fascinating thing, isn't it?

When a brilliant man runs away from his own brilliance, decides to live the simple life. Never works, though. That's what they say. Destiny is never really done with you. It's just waiting for you to slip up. And then, there I was last night watching a livestream of a robot fight. So who are you? Do you have a D.O.D. and a say? Oh no. Nothing so barbaric, Lave. I'm a scientist, just like you. Just a man trying to move society forward. Uh-huh. DARPA. Kyle Perino from DARPA. Nice to meet you.

I'll give you three minutes to get out of here. Hey, whoa, Lave. I'm not here to make trouble. I'm here to make peace. How the fuck did you get me? Facial recognition? No, actually. We were trying something new. Gate analysis. Jesus Christ. When you did that dramatic walk away from the camera, is when we got you. Did you know that we can identify a human beings identity within the 99th percentile, simply by analyzing how they walk? It's fascinating technology. After all this time.

Lave. You disappeared from a top secret government project, taking years of research with you. Did you think we were just going to say by guns? What do you want? Well, big picture. You. We've got tabs on you now, and I'm sure you'll be doing all sorts of wonderful work for us in the years to come. But where to start, right? Well, I suppose we'll start with the robot. That little buddy of yours is, I'm thinking three decades ahead of current technology.

Terrorist cells all over the world are not going to know what hit them when they're suddenly rated by a squad of adorable 18-inch robots. Over my dead, Bond Lave. Don't be ridiculous. You listen to me, you fucking anus. I'm not a Tori Mayorana. I'm not a frail Italian physicist. I'm not a genius recluse surrounded by equations. You need to forget you ever saw me, or I make everything bad for everybody. You want me to crash the Western interconnected system?

You want California to go back to the Stone Age? Don't test me. Oh, Lave, slow down. That wasn't a terrorist threat to a government agent, was it? You're just making it worse. Sidebar. I love where your head's at. Crashing electrical grids? Great stuff. Let's talk more. Three minutes, and you're gone. Lave. Lave, Lave, Lave, hold up, Lave. Dark. Seems we found the snoop, dear. Fucking unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable. Lave, what's wrong?

I decided to go to one goddamn robot fight to just blow off some fucking steam. And now I've got some goon from DARPA breathing down my neck. Of all the fucking organizations that had to be those goddamn sociopaths. They think they can fuck with me? Lave, I guess it's time to blow up some firewalls. I guess it's time to post their entire fucking database on Craigslist Mist Connections. Lave. This guy is going to regret ever coming here.

I'm going to empty his bank accounts and donate the money to the Autobahn Society. Lave. What's DARPA? David. Hey, I forgot you were here. Don't mind me, please. Continue. So, you know, I'm just having a hard day. I get it. Believe me, the number of times I've had a hard day. After a late night robot fight, I can't even count. You know, it's a hobby of mine. The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency is what DARPA stands for. Yeah. See, David, Lave has had a very long and interesting life.

I have. He's done some crazy things. Yes. And we think that's just great. Good God. I'm just having to deal with some stuff from my past as all. It happens. I mean, everybody has had a life, right? See, the fun part is I get to just sit here until y'all get tired. Y'all tired yet? Lave. Maybe take your frustrations to Eva's booth right now. Yes. Good idea. Okay. Bari. So, David. I think I'll have another missile on it. How about you all? Sure. Like...

Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like... Eva, I am begging you, I can't get fired again. Again? Fran, how many times has this happened in America? Hey, hey Fran. Shots. Some fucking homunculus from DARPA is here and he's trying to take Peter. What? What? Where? Where is... Hey. Out of my way. Out of my fucking way. I let my guard down for one fucking second. Wait, Lave. The DARPA guy is here for Peter? Yes. This is good. Why? Lave. Let them fight you.

Outside. Right. Fucking now. Fuck. Fuck. Have y'all thought about getting one of those slushy machines that makes margaritas? We don't have a liquor license. Oh, really? Yes. Regulations are very important to us, David. We, uh, really trying to keep things on the up and up around here. You know, mom's in Denver now. Really? Yeah. I thought she wanted to take up ski. Okay. Yes, it's a shame there are no places in California you can do that. Yeah, she's been there four years now.

She has not learned to ski. That's not like the mountains are going anywhere. Sometimes she'll have a couple of drinks and she'll call me. Oh, no. Oh, yes. It is amazing. It's better than Netflix. I'm sure. She doesn't talk about you as much as I think she wants to, but she did say this to me once. She said that you were bound and determined since birth to be boring and angry. Well, that's sweet of her. I have to say. I'm not seeing it. I think that that was probably true back then.

Well, what happened? Because things are just starting to unravel around here and it is delicious. I mean, it was surprising enough that you had a Facebook page. David, I had a Facebook page because I needed people to be able to get in touch with me no matter what. Because my son ran away from home. You may have heard. So if you're wondering what happened to me, that happened. And then a whole bunch of other stuff after that. Your mom's not wrong. It's not a bad description of me.

Growing up with your grandmother's, it was not a picnic. Grandma number one would forget her head if it wasn't screwed on to her body. And grandma number two, Jesus. The number of times I had to stop her from getting into a fist fight in the grocery store. I strove for boredom. Okay. Boredom was the goal. And then you came along and you would not be told anything ever. What I should have done was figure out who you were and then figured out how to work with it.

Instead, I just fought you every step of the way. Still striving for that boredom. I'm really very sorry, David. I forgive you. Good. You know, I kind of knew this already. But I needed to get it in under the wire. Because you're right. Things here are about to unravel so much that it's going to make a pile of loose yarn the size of Mountfucking Whitney. We've got a problem in the parking lot. See what I mean? We have clear, crystal clear agreements with the federal government over our projects.

You can't just breeze in here and take them. I'm sorry. Eminent domain. Where? Government contractors. You can't claim Eminent Domain over something that the government already owns by the transit of property. Well, if we already own it, why is it not in my possession right now? Because you don't get to decide. Well, that just sounds like a bunch of red tape to me. This robot is going to belong to us. It's just a matter of time. Then you can wait in line right behind all the other agencies.

Yeah. We don't really like to do that. We kind of just do what we want. Not today, you don't. Not today. Should I start making calls? Is that what I need to do? Oh, you want to make calls? Is that how you want to play this? I've got nine senators and 27 congressmen on speed dials. Let me just scroll to where my phone says House Majority Leader. Do you think that might jump your fun little phone? How about I get on the phone with all of his major donors? Oops. Look at that. I pressed call.

Guess I'm calling them. You want to push me? You want to push me? I just came off a juice cleanse and I am ready to fuck somebody up. I like fram now. Right? Who the hell are these people again? That's Kyle from DARPA and Fran from JPL. You're witnessing a good old-fashioned interdepartmental invite. Get ready for an all-caps-text message tsunami asshole. At one point, we had a conversation about laying low. And I feel like government agents arguing in the parking lot is very much not that.

The Mocle Wayne said we don't have to do that anymore. Oh, they did. Well, perhaps we didn't mean this. Okay, I need to be at all the meetings now. Do you see what happens? Gloria, we only met per- All of the meetings. Hey. What's going on? Well, hey, David. What's happening in the parking lot? Is this a dance-off because those two are not dressed for it? It's... Hmm. It's okay, Gloria. Okay, these two people are fighting over a robot that layf made. A robot? Yes. It's...it's called Peter.

And a lot of people want it. So he's selling it. No. These two government officials are saying that the robot belongs to them. Why? Because they can't? Fuck that. Thank you, David. You seriously made a robot that the government is trying to steal. I did? You want to meet him? Hell, yes. How's your one phone call going? Because I've just sent 57 texts and 19 strongly worded emails. Is there about to get a call? The number will be unlisted. I suggest you take it. Hmm. I'm sorry. Hmm. Hello?

Hello, sir. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Of course, sir. Of course, sir. I... Understand. I hope that robot mouth functions and chops you into itty bitty tiny little pieces you goon. That's been great meeting you, fuck. Come on, Fran. That's it? Ava. I really wish you'd taken that extra month of leave. There's got to be something you can do. There is. It's time once again to buy a bottle of wine and update my LinkedIn. Fuck my life. Goodbye, Ava. Well, that was fun.

Life, I'll be needing that prototype and any data you have on it. I'll be taking that right now. No, you won't. I thought you'd say that. So now I'm going to call what's known as an acquisition team. And things are going to get very messy. Don't bother going anywhere, Life. We have you on satellite. What's it? Lave? Oh, God. Did you get all that? Yeah, he's off his rocker. This guy's one step away from another take Kazinsky. Grab him and the robot. His friends? Keep an eye on them.

Maybe we need to use them as leverage. Open the door. Oh, Jesus. He's outside my car now. This is so pitiful. Open the fucking door. Go ahead and move in. Hang on. I'll take something in his hand. What the fuck is that? Holy fuck. What the fuck? Get out of the car. He's cutting my car in half. He's cutting my car in half. This is so. Moving now. Moving now. He's on. Holy shit. What the fuck, Lave? I wouldn't say get out of your car, but your car doesn't have an inside anymore.

You've really fucked up, Lave. I don't know what that thing is, but it belongs to us now. And since I don't know what else you've got hiding in this diner, how about I just take the whole thing? Give me the megaphone. Attention. Anyone in the building? Affect your way immediately. Midnight Burger is now property of the United States government. Oh, yeah? What is that? Are those our drones? Oh, fuck. Everybody, back. Anyone sets foot in this parking lot. I turned them into a foodie doll.

Holy shit. Guys. I think, Lave may have taken our advice just a bit too far. Guys. Lave, what the fuck are we going to do now? We're all going to get fucking arrested. Kind of important. Did you open a diner with a bunch of fugitives from the government? You're getting warmer. This is the craziest shit I've ever seen. Hold that thought, David. What's that sound? What is it? Oh, my God. What in the mother fucking hell? That's a bit of a step up from sheep and us. Is that what I think it is?

That's my girl. She may be grounded, but she's still keeping it weird. That's four fucking stories, tall. Hey, Gloria, give me the radio. Sure. What is happening? Come inside. That's not a real thing that exists. Sit down. What? What's that sound? What's that sound? Don't worry. Don't worry. It's a plan eater. Before we start, I need you to meet some friends of mine. Hello, David. It is our absolute pleasure to meet you. I'm Seboulon Bucklewayne, here with my wife, Evie. Hello, David.

I have a very long story to tell you. I've got a nice, me laddy to enjoy all my life. We've been family and happy since sheep and sheep came away. And we've got a nice, me laddy. It's a fine wheel in the light, and if you only see them, it's a picture always that is or pride. Thanks for listening to Midnight Burger, y'all. Be sure and tune in this time next month for more adventures in the vastness.

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Mr. Alex Sir, Sarah Joy, Delores Gara Schnap, Taters Precious, Teddy of the Wasteland, Daniel Gregory, Dr. Glass, Suites, Sharnobel, Meer Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Whitney Destroyer of Worlds, Chuck Brimble, Diedra, Micah Whiskey, and your friend Frosty, Ben Bar,

Beasley Death, Sven the Unlikely, Ted Wasson-Oson, Vyrestria, Relentless Rick and Moon Unit, Spooples, Furnwood Gal, Shocking Developments Nearby, Azules, Phantom's Moms, Callison, Daniel Arthur, Mike Luclussi, Dex, Huey 702S, Garrett Sherman, David Wilcox, Land of Party of Two,

Cameron Winterborne Welch, Fireball XL5, Alexa Gahabaniera, Code Stranger, That Chicken Florida, Matt N., Julia Kringlen, Bobby G., Freilp, M. Lynn, Feed the Fish, J.R.R. on SFP, LaHari, Reka Ayumu, J.S.Spark, Evie Girl, Jesse Adams, Lucid Harbor, Diet Night, Mars Royalty, Take 20 damage, Macy's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts McGorz, Fresh Squeeze, Patrick Holt, Unexciting K, Atlas B, Hold it now, Hold it now, Hold it now, Hit it!

Quail, Phantom Zone, Stabby Cacti, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Kill Shot Betty and her Steel-eyed Bow, Turtles all the way down, Jackie Lowey, Crowd Nation, Crazed Bear, Avina La, Dr. Ladis Trash Angel, Andy Kraft, Petting Dogs, Corrie Moro's, Russell Bunny, Jane G., Max Savage, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Aire Netta, Black Squirrel, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, Jimmy Slims, Lord Fan and Lady Sarah, Stephanie Sturgis, Hurston,

just her octopod, Crittle, Arrow of Truth, Heidelberg, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatesh, McClemp, Salazar the Domege, the Bard with the tuba, Hayward's finest Garen Elisando, Terrified toddler, Alkalized Tersiary Amines, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sarah McGuire, Tonka 2005, Cruisen B. Anthony, J. Way Mythical, Tibble the First, Steven Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Tess Bart, Ali Frog,

Talon Lawson, Freya Tittmittens, Jessica Shelton, Scrim Broula, The Sinking Loan, Zuzanna, Celeste Yose, Stepon, Infinity Times Infinity, Noah and Katie, Joar, Sarah Murphy, Justin at the Tree Cave, the Ambergler, Boodles, Reaper, Osvaldo Simioni, Shavonda Lila Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Cole, Hot Plate of Biscuits and Gravy, Zejone Vida, Sean Wright, Lettuce, Botanist, Corrine Sabrantha, Beatrice Bodacious, Kyle of Light, Rubius Fuzzlebutt,

Mac, the Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuda, Eli the Electrician, Sunny D. Anomaly, Charmaine, The Wonderous Methasophon, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Samira, Flat Doug, Trinket Coralie, Deery Darling, Banshee Ranch, Bookshifth Managed, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, 23, Victorine Cincinnati, Gracefully Impaired, Jack Lane, Tired Pirate Muffin, Jace Newston, Caravan Shaker, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Sammy Baldwin,

Posh Baby Rental's Florida, Cryptesia the Donut Pride, Rebecca Trossel, Good God there are so many names, Mithy Lou, Kelsey Home, Casper's Number One Fan, Amanda Marie Cathreine, Damien the God Damn Time lawyer, Lola, Deli Cruz, Nan McVicar, Matt Mosby, Harry Fischnutz, Little Ball of Odd, Joshua Cody,

Astronoweeb, Starlight, Berserking Off, David P. Arrini, Techno Ranger Rick, Mossey, Virgo Aries Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Ashley, Abug Dame's Natt, Potato Nation, CC Rider, Hunter B, Rudra, Rusty Accord, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, Magic Pony, Robert Olavary, Dan Bowman,

Paulie Johnson, Killer Odd, Dandy Bay, The Green Street Major, Dr. Puntgusher Esquire, Creator 67, Bajoland, Lafes One True Love, Cosmic Shrug, Incorracible Ross, Deborah Whales, SCRB Mark 11, Courtney DiPona, Leap Flame, Reedle the Beetle, John Dew, Stu,

Enthanomaly, Megan Mighty, Purple Sainly, Miss Chris Still Making Sandwiches, Three Legs are perfectly good, Kingpin, Anomalous Vandal, Captain Blep, Evie Power, Kurt Bartonick, Your Favorite Kenny, Chelsea G, Terry, PJ Says High, Danielle L, Sparker, Blargo Blargo Blargo, Hicks Bezzy Mates, Disco Funxlinger, Second Bethany, Zellis Pragma, Tuba Rick, Princess Donut, The Queen and Chunk, It's Just Blake, Alice Malice, Sir Cat Dad, Kelly Jane Dinky, Aaron The Optimist, Lucretia, Andrew Barner,

Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Edgy Steve, Maracawini, Eva with an E-Grim, Zachy Nat, Underwater Corvus, Spizarinctum, Michael Christian, Ransom, Runon Mycelil, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyrallus, Dances With Burritos, Aaron Mitchell, Fiona Malice, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R. The Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeard Face, Tracy, Malloran, Brian Barletta, Kara, Colmy Zinn, Colibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Menlor, Bethany,

The Dread Pirate Fred Fredberger, What the Chuck, Sono Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Rachel Rachelson, Naya DeRusso, Peaches Etouichi, Justine Burbank, Inky The Crackin and her Squire Grab Thar, Ruth McCormick, Dalek Steve, Danzig Dog Dreams, and Existentially Exhausted Bean. She has a thing that predicts the future. Sure. Don't die on me, Eva, I need this information. Sure. Who they really were. Hall and O, The Deputy Terri. Trying to combine five. Deputy. I just cringe in a new word.

Oh my God. Why would one weird egg-looking thing in one part of this galaxy have anything to do with these three sisters being a jubilant good? That's good, read it exactly like that. That's a perfect reading of that line. Thank you. Speed to the end. Excellent. Every word faster than one word. Sorry. It's all right. It's going to be great. Just going to cover it up with speed. Julie, can you spare some mustard? I need some more sauce. You're poop. Let the magic mustard.

Thanks for the sauce, dual face. Good. Please keep your eyes out of my brain. Oh my eye. Oh my eyes. You're going to be so happy. That sounds gross. You sound gross. Do you want a club sandwich? Hang on. I want a hug. Now I don't want to. Sorry. Oh no. Pass. You sound gross. Sorry. Why was that? Well, you're missing a word there. Sorry about that. Do with these three sisters. Sorry about that. Thank you. Look, I'm not going to put all the words in there.

You're going to have to just figure it out sometimes. I'm tired. I'm so sorry. Sometimes you run out. I can do this. The Fabel & Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish. In June of 2020, an amateur podcaster disappeared from the Carson National Forest while searching for the legendary Finn Treasure. But he was adamant that he was on to something big. He was obsessed. He showed her some hand drawn map to a treasure out in Northern New Mexico.

The subjective truth is part treasure hunt, part paranormal docky drama, starring Addison Peacock as Graham Anderson. Back at home, I placed the box on the counter, and I just stared at it for a while. You'd never be able to guess its social impact on the human race by looking at its simplistic design. UFOs, ghosts, reincarnation, and liars. This is the subjective truth. Subscribe now. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

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