Michael Doesn't Know

Alan Byrne, Louise Cannon•www.8mmnetwork.com

What's more fun than creating a show specifically for one person? Creating a show for that person and then keeping it a secret from them forever!!! Louise Cannon and Alan Beirne bring you all the media Michael would love to listen to but can't because Michael doesn't know!!

Last refreshed: July 2nd, 2025 at 5:17 PM ⓘ

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Episodes

Michael Doesn't Know - EP 9

Ladies, Am I right? A: Yes. B: Know. A: If you answered yes then congratulations you have been selected for liquification. Please remove any metalic items and step into the chum shoot to the left, to the left - don't worry the chum shoot comes prelubricated ;) B: If you answered Know then congratulations you're about to be whisked away by tall elephant-headed men in suits on the trip of a lifetime to Ge-nit-alium! Located on the outer edges of the Ejactile galaxy, Genitalium has long been the bl...

Oct 09, 2015•12 min

Michael Doesn't Know - EP 8

Episode 8: Good news, Michael doesn’t Know is now broadcasting on multiple micro wave lengths out into the cold, vast desolation of space! We hope to receive transmissions back as soon as Monday. We invite destruction, we invite love. Up here we float, up here there is no protective veil of atoms to shield our bodies from the cold touch of God. Cold, cold and dark; it goes on forever. Disclaimer: Remember telling Michael about the Michael Doesn’t Know Podcast will mean the end of the Michael Doe...

Jul 17, 2015•21 min

Michael Doesn't Know EP -7

Type type type type type......KILLLLLLL.........mumbble mumbble mumbble ...............AAAAHHHH!!! ......rustle rustle rustle rustle....rustle.......... STAAAB STAAAB STAAAAB........brumm brum brummmm beeep.......... SMASH SMASH SMASH SMAAASH SMAAAAASSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! If you empathise then congratulations you have just joined the most exclusive club on the internet - 'Michael Doesn't know podcast' The world is a nightmare but now you have a dream guide. Think of us as a Native American. Unle...

Oct 15, 2014•15 min

Michael Doesn't Know - EP 6

Welcome to hell! No you're not in Norway you're somewhere considerably warmer! "But I gave money to charity"- Sorry. "I always held the door open for other people" -Oh wow. "I love my Mommy!" - good for you champ. "I followed my dreams"- 10 points for effort. "I did my best" - no dice princess. Hope you enjoyed yourself uptop because Michael may not know but we do. Make yourselves comfortable it might only be forever but it's going to feel a lot longer. The warm charry feeling of MDK -the only p...

Aug 11, 2014•13 min

Michael Doesn't Know - EP 5

Welcome back! Where have you been? Your skin is so cold and dewy... oh hush hush now you mustn't speak of things like that. Shhh now! shhh I say! That's a good..... wait no one followed you did they? .... You know youre not supposed to play out .... how many times ..... shhhh.. did you hear that?...... wait.... wait here don't worry it's probably just a loose board.....I'll be right back... I love you ok....just wait right here....

Jul 01, 2014•11 min

Michael Doesn't Know - EP 4

Life is a bloated corpse floating on a sea of misery. If you were a fruit what fruit would you be? Answers on a stamped addressed envelope please. Hinchion fans stay tuned Denis is where you find him.

Jun 03, 2014•11 min

Michael Doesn't Know - EP 3

The only Podcast Michael doesn't know about is back -atcha like cleopatra! Whats cooler than 1997 and Mr Frosty's secret-shame love-child? Michael Doesnt Know Podcast that's what. But be under no illusions tragedy is short of breath, hefty and sweatily clambering the spiral stair of your mind! You have been warned. Look out for details on the Michael Doesn't Know hotline and how to get on the show: Few have called, many are chosen.

May 04, 2014•13 min

Michael Doesn't Know - EP 2

Greeting non-Michaels! Congratulations you have gained enough coupons to unlock MDK level 2. Ep 2 chastises the unbeliever and rewards the true of heart. Do not falter!

Apr 07, 2014•15 min

Michael Doesn't Know - EP 1

Episode 1 of the Michael Doesn't Know Podcast Remember telling Michael about the Michael Doesn’t Know Podcast will mean the end of the Michael Doesn’t Know Podcast , so if you like the Michael Doesn’t Know Podcast then don’t tell Michael, and if you don’t like the Michael Doesn’t Know Podcast then kindly fuck off! Episode 1 Alan Byrne and Louise Cannon broadcast all the media Michael would love to listen to but can’t because Michael Doesn’t Know. Episode one is full of hard hitting news items, r...

Feb 01, 2014•10 min

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