WiFi Makes You Wet

we have a podcast? The answer is yea. And I just got a notification on Facebook that we've done this podcast for four years? Now what four years ago?

us that. Yeah, actually we have to we have to meet up Marie, so we can, you know, do what we normally do for the Patreon Yeah all right, Well, I mean I was gonna come over today, but you are booked booked up. I truly think you still have enough time to come over, So just saying yeah, but you know what, I decided that I'm not going to smoke weed for the month of October. Oh my god, there's more avocado on this white sweater I got. I'm like,

I'm just gonna take it off. So I decided I'm not gonna smoke weed for the month of October for thirty days, and then found out later that there are thirty one days in October, which is like, okay, we don't turn up. We're gonna turn up on the thirty first. So thirty days no smoking, and today is the last day that I can smoke, So me and my friend are gonna hang out today and go hi. So I don't know if I'm available for the Patreon oh is it a friend that like you know who I'm talking about. Sorry,

I'm not gonna say his name on here. You know exactly what is. You've met him, You've been in his car, you've met his dog. You know him. Hey, baby, missy sweet? All right, well, make sure you do what you need to do so that we can have something to talk about when we finally do do the Patreon Okay, we can do it tomorrow. Good. Great, do you have time to Are you available tomorrow? I'm sure I'm available tomorrow or something? All right, worse comes to worse, Well, we

will figure it out. Well, we'll post it at midnight, and you guys can enjoy it for the rest of your worst things worse I pop up freaks, saw the honeys bunnies play boys. First things first, I'll eat your brain. First things first. That's all right, you're right, okay, so let's just get right into it. Bitches went away and the cats were playing mm hmm the cats your cats, No, my pussy, Your pussy was popping togethers. That's how rumors.

I know someone's good. Listen to this. They paused the episode to be like Sydney and Maurice Pussies was playing again. We need rumors, we need rumors, we need something to go viral on this fun, amazing podcast. That's the rumor that you want to start. Yes, let's let's go. Let's start from the top. So I went to La to visit you know, my love, and we turned it into a goals trip. You know, it's like, if you love me,

you gotta love my gals. So you me, I don't know if we were mentioning this this friend of ours anymore. You Me and third trist A Megas was in La and that I mean, that's how I know, like this person is amazing because they were able to house not just one but dose friends, dose friends. I mean that's just the perk of having a nice ass, big ass house. You know. I think that I don't know if I would let my friend bring her two friends to my house,

I mean, not this house that living right now. But she was very generous because I was in the house, Like I was like, you letting us drink the water, you letting us eat the fools here? Wow? And you providing transportation. She's I think she's a keeper. I'm gonna go ahead and propose to you for her. Yeah, she's she's really, you know, top tier, and I'm glad that I've met somebody during this fucking awful year night mayor of a year so terrible. But she definitely is the

light at the end of the very dark tunnel. And we come on poetry. We had a good time. You guys laughed a lot. You guys laughed, you got smoked. You guys laughed and smoked. And you heard me had sex. It was it was wonderful. I did hear Sydney have sex? How does it sound? Very I forgot about that. Yes, yes, yes, how does it sound? So? Do you remember when you heard Carolina have sex and you said that she sounds like a size two and you were like, is that Carolina?

And you were like mad close to the door and you opened it a little bit and you got in the bed with them. Remember when you told that story.

not the voice that I want to squirt to. Sorry, okay, we're squirting regularly. Come through consistency. Yeah, it was, Yes, it was hard. It was hard to like get my mind where it needed to be because I but you got there two days before. We did what. We gave you time, ample time to destroy somebody's mattress and you're saying you didn't get it in them other day. Oh we did. We did. We had a little I'm not gonna say, but we had a better kimk ray j moment and at night in Paris, It's a night in

Cyny that's the title. Remember you said that, Yeah, it was good. And then uh, you know, my friend was very comfortable at this person's house and you know, praise be plays be friendship. Well that's the thing. There's two different types of people when they come to your house, right, there's the type of person who shows up and they're like, oh, we're shoes off, okay, cool, let me take them off. Oh may I may I have a glass of wine. And then there's the person that shows up. They don't

take their shoes off. They maybe they throw their dirty coat on your beer, even though the bed is nowhere near that. She didn't have a coat though, so she wasn't throwing her road anything. They opened the fridge and they start touching things and tasting things. To take a body of sandwich, put it down. They'll put their finger in your fish chink and be like what a fish like? Different types of house guests. And I want to say that I'm the first one and our third is the

second one. Now and Sydney, you right there in the middle. You're and middle of those two types of people that come to your own No, I mean no, I will. I'm gonna put this one out here. I don't care if the friend is listening. Uh So my friend was in a very small revealing like one the Lips was waving to everyone. The Lips went out in the balcony to get some air. Listen. I heard one friend have sex and saw my other friend having sex with the

close she ha. So that's the type of intimacy that I experienced on his birthday, tche And so she was like, you know, walking around and I was like, girl, you're real comfortable in here, Like look what the fuck you're wearing? And I was like, I need you to put some clothes on, and she was like, y'all lesbians. I thought it was different. It was like if any thing she has, she's yeah, she's gay, but she has eyes she can see. So when you said that, it was like funny to me,

but you were legit being serious. Dead ass didn't want her. Coach Lips like, yeah, put your robe on, bitch, put it on. And then she went and put on the tiniest, like the shortest, sluttiest rope. It was a very pretty silk, but it was who it was cropped it was like, you remember the half baby fat jackets from back in the day, That's exactly what was. And my friend is hot. My friend's hot. So I was like, yeah, yeah, cover up, Okay, you're cute, bitch like there. But her mindset was I'm

amongst women. We we do less in fitting rooms and dressed. I'm sorry, this is not a planet fitness. We are not in the fitting room, honey. We are in someone's space. And you know, I don't want I don't want Mike. I don't want to be thinking about you while we're trying to do stuff. Because, yeah, Aramiga was giving us Ebonine Place Club Andrew, I don't know if you know that reference that might be to I mean, I love the Players Club is a classic film from the night.

My friend has a very sexy body, and I was like, I'm going to be thinking about this now, cover up. Where are you thinking about your friend the next time you were having sex while your other friend me was thinking about you. I was just thinking about the fucking WiFi. I was like, does she have the WiFi? What do I what do I need to get for her for her to not knock on this door? Yo, Sidney was fully having sex. And our friend was like, is that when I say I saw her hand on the door handle?

She was she wasggling. Is that the titles? Is that the title? What's the WiFi? What's the WiFi? Maybe?

and let's talk about that. They were let's talk about the scam, the scandal, So the Mexican scandalos he They were like, oh, the the chef is this much money per for this group of people, plus the price of ingredients. So we were like, ah, that's okay. We splurged a little bit. We'll be rich. We'll do some real housewives of we gotta work type things, and he was like the groceries was one hundred dollars, one hundred and four dollars.

We were like me, Anda, Me, Me and a Mina looked at each other because Amina was in'to lum with us and a Mina looked at each other and we were like, I spend. If I'm spending one hundred dollars on groceries, I'm eating for like three years. Like that's enough food for me to eat for several weeks. Mind you, let me tell you the menu. It was like pasta with chicken in it, the fahidas with chicken with the same chicken, and then a salad and there was guac and chip. Yeah.

chef and she wasn't taking requests, not at all. She was you know, she was buying her groceries, you know, on sale with coupons. So yeah, it was pasta with chicken chicken fijedas. There was two bottles of wine that they were like, oh, the wine is going to be inexpensive in Mexico. Comes back to the house. It was like it was one hundred and four dollars and we

were like, we paid it obviously clearly. But every time we had them come cook for us, the ingredients was one hundred dollars again, and it was like, well, where are y'all shopping? Okay? Is there a Walgreens here? And being the inspector gadgets of black women in comedy, we were like, let's go to the store. Let's let's get some groceries. Well, actually, the reason we went to the stores because we didn't have any food in the house and we were hungry. Right, don't mess up the story. Marine.

You're saying, oh, you're saying that we was on the case. You're saying we were harry at the spy. So we went to the grocercy store. Okay, go ahead, go ahead, sys my bad. So we went there. They want alcohol, they want snacks, they want food. We get salmon. Like we going on, wait a minute, holding we get to the supermart. First of all, we had the driver waiting for like half an hour. Out that man done with us. We're like, oh my god, he's gonna charge us ninety

eight dollars. So he we we get there, He's like, We're like, we're gonna we need thirty minutes. Sydney starts full on grocery shopping her own car by herself in Mexico, and I was like, well, what's that over there? She's she's collecting things for the group, and then we're gonna consolidate. No, Sydney's buying red Bull, she's buying cheesy Cheeto, she's buying no Waters, she's buying Sydney think I had. She's buying Gushers,

she's buying Dunker Niggas. She's buying all this stuff. And I'm looking at her cart like, babe, we're only gonna be here for three days. But you know, I was like, well, maybe she's prepping for a silken cook. I don't know what was happening. Right. We were at the supermarket for like an hour and we get all this stuff. We did not eat. We got ice cream, we got snacks, we got cereal, milk, all this and it was like, why did we get so much cheese? So much? AnyWho?

I do my little cart, they do they cart right their car? What did your car come up to? Like seventy seven dollars? I don't know, but yeah it was. The total was like a little bit for four people, five people. He had been telling us that the groceries were one hundred dollars for us to cook the one meal that he was my car, my car. I had a raizor, I had body washed, I had like mad I had stuff for Marie's birthday party. I had plates and forks and balloons and all this shit. My thing

came up to like sixty something dollars. I was like, there's no way, sir, there's no way. You got one meal and it costs one hundred dollars. You lying sack of shit, right, you gonna lie to us in this pandemic black women at that you're gonna try to hustle black women doing it on my birthday? Girl in this time? Is you're gonna try to disrespect me in this time? And when we say the ingredients were one hundred dollars.

We still had to pay him for the cooking meal, which was another I don't know, one hundred dollars or whatever. But so so this dude came back and we were or when we got back from the supermarket, we messaged the Airbnb lady, our contact, and we were like, we need receipts moving forward, us receipts. We need receipts of

everything that he's buying for us. And I guess he was upset about that because he showed up the next day with attitooed with a capital no all cap attitude walk talk at walk, and so he lets Marie know, like how much because we're like, it's Marie's birthday. Let's let's have a nice fucking dinner. Let's have a Yeah. Because he was he was like, oh, we can do He's like we can grill, I could do steak, I

could do lobster. I could do this. And you know, Sidney her lobster and my friend is very wealthy in her heart, and she was like, lobsters, let's do it right, we get them.

one dollars for seven lobsters, which I'm slack. I feel like that sounds good. I've never put no can someone anybody's paid for one lobster before? How much does it cost? Well, what's one sixty one divided by seven, because that's how much east lobster was?

like looking at us and they were like goog. But we didn't even need all the shrimp. No, we didn't. So and then there was a salad whatever the case may be. Dinner was like over three hundred and something dollars and it was really good. Thank my friend, my good friend, my colleague, good sister paid for those lots. Yes, I did what I could. I was like, happy birthday, baby, I love you, kissed me on the mouth now did not And it was it was a beautiful, beautiful day.

I mean we were in the pool, people were drinking smoking. We actually started the day oh because we me and Sydney were like completely content with going down to Mexico, laying out by the pool, not interacting with really anybody and just like working on our tans and learning how to swim. Amina and her sister were like we got to do something. What's the plan? And we were like, no plan. They found this thing. We went and rode ATVs through the jungle. That's what we did. I forgot.

And now we went to a monkey sank sanctuary and we we like went into like a snow taste. We like went into a cave and like pitch black cold water. Remember, like it was like a whole day. It was a whole day and a really sexy that was more money, more money, just yeah, but the ATVs were fun. No, it was worth it. It was It was definitely worth it. Andrew, have you ever been on an a an all terrain vehicle?

she was. She was actually doing the most and I really really and I was behind her and all of the dust was all over me because she was going to full speed ahead ghost be racer go. But you know what, I think that whenever I travel to another country, if they have ATV tours available, I'm gonna do. Yeah, Like that's how much I enjoyed doing it. Yeah, it was wonderful. We had a great time. The mosquitoes were terrorists.

They ate up my ass, my legs. They gave us a bucks spray that literally was Capri Sun for them. I think the buzzspray was mosquito like. It was like mosquito gs. Because the mosquitos, the Mexican mosquitoes were so aggressive. I felt like I was at like a like a frat party or something like. It felt real like dude, leave me alone, I have a man. The mosquitos were like literally on Sydney's a Smiths, Miss Smiths, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, excuse me, excuse me, gentlemen, a A. It was what

time is it? It was showtime, dinner time, dinner time? It was. It was then, you know, we saw the monkeys. I had like twenty minutes into the tour. I said, I'm going back. I can't. I can't do this. I can do Sydney opted out. I said bye. Yeah, because after we rode the ATVs and we like took a

deep dive into these like caves and stuff. Then it was like a zoo and we were walking through the jungle looking at like flamingos and parrots from Rio and Sydney and Zadier were like, no, it's too many mosquitoes. Were going back to this, I said, I guess this is where I'm going to check out. Goodbye. And you know Marie and I mean, they're like what we pay her money? I was like the money is. I didn't even say anything about the money. Me and my sister.

All of you guys wanted to go back to the car, and me and my sister were like, well, the pesels have already been sent via Venmo. Yeah, so we're gonna sit here. Also, they were like, we're gonna go wait in the van. But they were like the van is not here. Yeah, you gotta wait for the driver and when he gets here, then you can go. And it was like, well, if I'm gonna be here, I might as well finish this tour and look at these lemurs

or whatever. Oh my god, I want a lemur. I was like, this is why I see why people have these like exotic animals in their home. There the fucking lemurs were so cute. You said, you want a lemur? Sidney, have you learned nothing from that Oprah episode where that lady had a chimpane Yeah, no, I don't remember, but I'm just saying, and the chimpanzee ripped her face off. I don't think the lemur would do that.

have a lovely night. We stay up late. I mean, my friend is dancing, laughing, having I mean, I've been with her for most of her birthdays as are like, as we've been friends, and this was probably the best time I would visibly see my friend having And it was wonderful to see, and we still had one more day to go, and I was like, if this is the like this is the second day, I can't imagine what this third day is going to be like. So we stay up late. It was it was really good.

We're listening to music. I'm just I just want to hug my friend to death. Everybody's naked. Everybody, well, first of all, me and Amina and Sydney, I think got naked immediately. We did. And then my sister was there and amina sister was there, and they both were taking a sweet ass. They're both taking their sweet fitness times, both of them personal trainers. Beautiful bodies, both of them, amazing bodies, both of them Like can I go in with my robe? It was like, now put your titties

in this water. Now. That was that was the that's what we get that on shirt. I was like, I want to see some ariolas right fucking now. They showed to ariolas they sow the laby is it's great, it's beautiful, it's it was Sydney. It probably has so many videos of our naked bodies in the pool, and she refuses to send them to us because she likes to quote save things in her phone for our birthdays to post on Instagram and the girls any who is a great night.

We finally go to bed at like I don't know, like two three o'clock one morning, who knows what time it was, Like, my sweet beautiful face of mine closes my great eyes, and at six am, my stomach is like, welcome to the jungle, the screaming. My stomach is screaming. The stomach said, oh, you know in the Michael Jackson song where like it starts with and then he goes or whatever, he like screams, That's what Sydney's butthole was doing.

the same time. This is going on until ten fucking am okay, throwing up, pooping. I'm running to the next bathroom like across the way to like throw up, then coming back to poop because I don't want to be in the same place. I don't want to get cross contamination. I'm miserable. You don't want to get Then they can people can hear me like shitting out my soul. It's just it was awful. And then I was like, I'm not going to the beach. I'm not doing it. And

something in my brain was like, I'm in Mexico. You have to go to the beach. This is your last day. We are you gonna stay in the households on right. Meanwhile, back at their enche me and mean, they are upstairs eating shroom chocolates just like you know, just a little piece. This is gonna make the day, Like really cute. My sister took a half. Sydney's coming to the beach. We're excited. Shrooms hit us in the van on the way to the beach. These pitchers are laughing their asses off and

I'm fucking pissed. They are cackling like hyenas on crack. They're having the best their life. Amina could not stop laughing, and I'm hanging on. I'm hanging on to the side of the door because I'm like, I'm gonna throw up again. I'm gonna throw up, I'm gonna poop, and mind you, I have full on nerve wearing a song bikini a song bikini with diarrhea. That that is, honestly, if that's the title, I'm gonna say that in your eulogesis. I'm

I'm I'm putting that in your obituary. My friend was you know, a star and he got winner and blah blah blah blah blah. Also very Brave were a song once she had diarrhea was yeah, I mean I had sandy shitty ass title of the pod, and no, we're not calling it that Sandy, all right? But maybe the song was keeping Things eaten plug It was like, no, it was not. And so Amina and Marie and Lou are having the best time of their life. Zadia is like, chill mode, we get out, we get to the beach.

It's beautiful. I'm looking at everything. I was like, I'm so glad I came. And then uh, I was like, I'm miserable. I want to go back and I couldn't, and I lay on this beanie bag because there's not enough chairs or beds for all of us. So I'm laying on the beanie bed and I'm like, I gotta dig a hole next to the to the bed so I can throw up. But no, the servers are watching. They're they're watching me dig this holder Like what is she about to do? They're like, she's making sand castles

over there. I said, well, you.

you threw up. No, sorry, hold on, I didn't want to be sick so we could be hand in hand. But then we wouldn't have been hand in hand anyway, because you were on mushrooms. I would have held your hand on mushrooms. Yeah, I was thinking about taking a ship in the ocean. I was like, well, but then I went to the bathroom and I took I took my panties off, I took my bikini off. I'm like, basically, Ni,

you know, you have to poop real bad. When you have to strip butt naked, you got to really get like a comfortable stance together when you're like, no, I need I need freedom to move. I had to wash my bottoms out, washing them out, so I had nobody was in the bathroom, no bottoms on, scrubbing, scrubbing. Yeah, it was bad.

could with poop poop. I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink, and the waiter kept coming back to or want anything. I was like, no, I'm like, he fully thinks I'm on heroin because I'm like laid out, like passed out, on my back. Yeah, and and then a mina and then our shrooms wear off, so we take more because this is good chocolate and because it's like it's chocolate with the mushrooms like baked into it. We're like what. Amina gets paranoid and she's like, these people are watching us.

She was like, make sure you take your stuff with you everywhere you go. I'm like, girl, this is the ocean. I'm not taking my stuff into the ocean. And she's like, well, I'll watch everything. And she's like being super paranoid. And I'm talking to her and she's like, you're talking too loud. These people they work here and they're watching us and they're not real customers. And I we're gonna pay. They don't think we're gonna pay. I was like, yeah, you're rude.

In my hig. I'm gonna go to the throwing the diarrhea. So I go back to City's bed and and we were supposed to get like the masseuse was supposed to come give us massages that day, and we were like, it was such a good day at the beach. We were like, let's just like this is where we're supposed to be. And then the check comes and I had already decided I was gonna pay for my friends, and so I put my card down. So put my card down, and then I was like waiting for them to bring

it back to me. So I had left my friends and I'm standing by myself and I'm looking out into the ocean, and I'm thinking about what my mom was doing when she was my age, and what my grandma was doing when she was my age, and I was like, what a beautiful moment. I should take a picture, and I this stranger danger came up and I was like, can you take a photo? And she did, and when she walked away, I was looking at it and I started crying, just like full tears streaming down my face,

but like I wasn't sad. I was like happy dude, right, but like because it wasn't like it was like just like the tears just couldn't stop coming out of my eyes. And all the Mexican waiters are coming up to me and they're like, Senora, you good, and I'm like I'm fine. And I was standing there crying, looking at this photo of myself, and I was like, I should go stay

with my friends. I shouldn't be crying by myself. But then the other half of me was like, but I also didn't want my friends to see me cry, and it was I know it, but I don't want to be standing here by myself. I know Marie for six years and I saw one thug tear come down when I relapsed and we were in Starbucks, and I was just like, crying, that's checking her, forget. While I was crying in Mexico, I was thinking about Sidney crying in

Starbucks because I was like, and I cried once a year. Famously, she sheds one tier a year around twenty third and I went and I was crying, and they were like laughing at me. I wasn't laughing. I thought it was beautiful you were Sydney didn't laugh. It was clear that you were thankful, and it was such a sincere moment and it just made me love you more. I was like, it's good that I never get to see you cry because I saw this the one time that you did. And I was like, oh, my friend, right, I feel

like my sister. The last time my sister saw me cry was in like early twos, so she was about I started crying a little bit. She teared up. She was having a very emotional moment on the shore of the beach because I kept we would every time I left her, she would just sit on the shore and like she would like ponder her life with her muscles and stuff. So she was going through it as well.

But I was also crying, I think a little bit because I had no idea how much I swiped out at this speech club because because it was in Paesels and I want to say it said five thousands or some crap, there was a comma in it, and I was like, yead damn, like tears. And also we've never really seen Marie pay for things, so that was another moment where I was like, is she going through it? Also, not my ministry pulling my car off. I'm consuming, no, ma'am, no no. But I mean, like you guys spent all

this money. Y'all came down there to celebrate with me. It was like, Eh, you can't take this money with you when you leave, you know. Also, I think I'm gonna be able to write it off. Trump only paid seven hundred and fifty to two cents in Texas last year, so I think I'm gonna be able to do the same. It was. It was so nice and you know, I was still sick and I don't know. It just made our friendship stronger. And but you're I'm glad you came.

If you had been at the household day you, it wouldn't have been a pleasant It would have been a less pleasant day for you. I think it would if we all left and we were like we had it amazing time, you would be you would not be happy about that friend. So it was worth it. It was worth being poo poop pants in my thong bikini for my best friend's birthday. How many times do you think you pooped that day? Oh? A good? A good twelve.

And it was just and there definitely when I was on the beanie bed and I mean it was making me laugh. I was just it was coming out. Yes, you were shouting a little bit.

If we would have had a straight man with money on the fucking trip, that would have really made my day. Honestly, that's for next year, next trip. We need a man with like, uh, what are these things called a monocle? A monocle in a pocket watch and mister peanut man, yeah.

I was gonna be in Mexico. This is the trip with something happens to my sister or whatever, and like thinking like that is not good for you, because you miss out on living your life, you know. And honestly, I didn't tell my mama was going to Mexico because I didn't want her to be like you, traveling internationally during a pandemic. And when I told her that I was in La, she was so cool about it. I was like, oh, she would not have cared. I still

didn't tell her that I went to Mexico. But now I feel like too much time has passed, so much time, it's like, so you're just withholding information like this, I'm just never gonna tell her, like what Like if I didn't tell her while I was there, and I didn't tell her before I left, I'm not gonna tell her why. I know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't. Hey, remember when I spoke to you on my birthday, I was actually headed to Mexico. Like no, actually I was in Mexico

when I spoke to her, So it was wonderful. And it's it just shows you, like you gotta live your life, you know. This is this is trying times, and I also want to say, listen, don't be reckless and just traveling and not being safe and not wearing your mask and not taking precautious don't. I'm not promoting that, but I'm due promote. If you are a black woman, this

is self care. You gotta take a little trip with a couple friends and just unwine, you know, because fuck, Like just the debates last night and we got like thirty seven more days left until the election. It's just like, goly, this is this is gonna rock our world just a little bit. I mean, the world is literally burning on like around us. Oh sorry, Oh, there was an earthquake in La when we were there too. There was an earthquake.

Were you guys having sex on the earth. She was giving me a massage, but it would have been perfect if we were having with her fingers or with her face. No, she had a she had like a massage, gun massage gun. Okay, bang bang. Yeah. It was. It was like eleven forty five at night, and I was tired, so I was like laying in bed and I felt the building shake and I was like, oh, oh my god, should I stand in the door, like I hope this building doesn't fall on top of me. But yeah, I've never felt

an earthquake before, and I have. I have been in an iconic earthquake. It was like like nineteen ninety or whatever. I was in Oakland, California. It was like a huge, huge, or maybe it was eighty nine, I don't know, nineteen ninety. Yeah, you remember the earthquake. Yeah. Oh, it knocked everything down, like cars got stuck on the Golden gate Bridge, streets were toe up to the flow up. It was really bad. A lot of damage was done during that earthquake. So yeah,

it's so crazy. I've been in a real earthquake before. So oh that was nothing I felt was fair. Yeah, that was like it felt someone brushed, like somebody. No it didn't, Sydney. You not going downplay my first earthquake like that. I mean, I guess technically I was in an earthquake. There was one that hit the East Coast a couple of years ago, and I was at my mom's house and I remember I tripped up the stairs.

I was running up the stairs and I tripped, and then it came out later that there was an earthquake.

got food poisoning? Friend, I'll tell you one thing. I didn't get food poisoning in this the age I am right now. It fucking hit different. It hit different. I thought I thought I was like, I'm gonna die on this beach. I'm just gonna I'm gonna fall asleep and not wake up again because I was hurting. And it's just like I was eating the lobster and I knew it was bad. I was like, I shouldn't be eating this is not good. Like the last time I took I swallowed it, I almost threw it up because it

was just not it was not good. Well maybe.

a racket. Like all the people that she recommended, we used all of her friends that she's connected with, We use them for the trip because we were like, oh yeah, we need a car, We're going to use the taxi service. We need a chef, We're gonna use your chef. So you know, it's just people that she's cool with that want to make money off of tourists in Mexico. And we were like eh, and it's like, it's assume it was nice. I don't know what you'd think is going

on here, But we're not. We're not rich. But we showed up like we were. No, we did not. We're wearing leggings. Who's wearing like leggings? Me? I don't know. I would do it all again too. I would do all of it all over. We just didn't need a chef, that's it. I mean, we didn't need a chef that was charging us one hundred dollars for groceries. But we only use him for two days, So there's that. We cooked ourselves some of the days, We went out to

eat some of the days. One night we went into town and we had our little masks on, and when me and my sister got out of the car, there was another black girl with us, and I was like, oh, she must work here, and she's at the table talking to us, and she's this that I'm from Houston, Texas. Blah blah blah. We're like, oh, that's cool, that's what's up. I'm like, can you get us some menus? She's like, I don't work here. I'm like, well, why are you?

Marie was sitting at Marie for her. That was Marie's version of being a terrible white man. I mean, assuming that she was the waitress, you bum bitch, she was. Andrew As I leave my house with four of my friends, with my four loved ones, I get to this restaurant. There's six people now, and she's standing up and she's talking to us. I see somebody bought over a sixth chair. I'm like, well, there's no what she's about to sit down.

She must be getting ready to serve us. I'm like, oh, I'm like, hey, sis, can I get can you get some menu? You? She just she was trying to promote a party. She's trying to she was happy to see black girls in Mexico. That's what why she was talking to her. I missed the beginning of the conversation.

And I also, I can't get kidnapped in Mexico. My mom and dad didn't even know I was in Mexico. Imagine you see, you got to call my mom and be like, ay ah, Marie got taken and there's a ransom. My dad is hanging up on you. He's gonna be like, this got taken in Brooklyn. You're gonna be like no, we actually flew down to loom. My dad is gonna be like, no, my daughter is in Brooklyn. Sto. Yeah, not true, he's not. He's not coming to pick me up.

But nobody got kidnapped. Only one person got diarrhea. And we had our own pool and it was a mirror in front of the pool, and you know, it was just like a sexy grown ass trip that also had mushrooms in it. Yeah, and I have videos of you know, people's pussies, so if you want to see them, just DM me, you know, for for a pretty penny or a pretty penny. I can send it to you on What's at Sydney has the Lady of footage and you know hashtag never forget Now. I want to take more

trips with these people and others. I just want to like experience, you know, the world and stuff, but also ride more ATVs in more jungles. Yeah. So, Sydney, your birthday is in February. What would you think, potentially you gon want to do for your birthday? I don't know. If I still have a girlfriend at the time, I'll see we're Wow, we're gonna we start, We're gonna start and end in a whole relationship before the second of February. I don't know. I mean, I think she's the one.

I think we're gonna get married. So wow, I hope. So you're gonna get You're gonna get married on February. The birthday gift is going to be the wedding. No, but she did, she did ask. She's like, well, how long do you think you know we should wait until like getting engaged. I was like, obviously, when we have more wait? She asked you that question already. Yeah, oh, y'all are different.

me and leave the past, yes, Sydney. Imagine you guys get engaged in and the minister or the officiant is like, are there any objections speaking now? Or for your peace? And then I stand up and I go I object, Sydney, I've been in love with you since nineteen. I will strangle you. I will strangle you or I'll be like, okay, well then you have to marry me right now. We have to do it. If you're in love with us, we're getting married today. I'm not leaving this place without

a fucking real way without a wife. Yeah, come on, Porscha Dora, that's me, porsiad Ashy, that's me. Yeah, I wouldn't do that, but you know, you just gotta let me know what's season. You think y'all gonna get married, so I could figure out what type of suit I want to wear. Yeah, because you're gonna be my best man. So my best man, I'm we get straight back corn rows down to my Please don't for the straight X.

Don't do that. But she really likes you really proved yourself during the trip, so she she really enjoys again because I'm the type of guests that shows up and takes my shoes off at the door. I'm not I'm not wearing a unitard with my cooch, lips out, screaming about hogging down. My friend was so high and was like snack snacks, snacker snacker ruse and was like, oh, She's like, I'm gonna go to the store and she's like, well,

bring back some butter peek in on. I scream. He was like, okay, since I didn't know if you wanted anything. I didn't ask, but okay, And then she gets to the store and there's no butter pekad I because that's so specific, and she's like, yeah, I'm gonna call her, just because, like, you know, I don't want her to think that I didn't want to get it. And she was like, well, I guess you could give me some vanilla.

Then it was like, what right, Like, I'm going to the store to pick up my things and you you asked for ice cream, and now I'm being courteous to let you know they don't have what you want, but you still asking for I don't know, some people really like ice cream. Yeah, but honestly, this person is the funniest person and I would never go anywhere without her. Best trip. Yeah, we laughed so hard. Girl's Trip and there was no fight, no fight. Nobody got into a fight,

isn't that crazy. Nobody got kidnapped, nobody got roofeed, nobody got into a fight. And I came so and you came. Well the second time I couldn't the second day when the WiFi was being iced, so I came then. But the second time, oh, the wife WiFi makes you wet that's the title. Why if I makes you wet? I did not come on the trip, but I did get a ride home when I got back. Okay, so you came after, and wow, what a time to be alive. It was like, did you miss me? Yes? You did.

I literally had I love that literally had sand from the beach in every single nook and cranny of my body. And I left his bed more sandy than when I left my when I actually left the beach. So soon, mommy. But yeah, like, I'm ready to take more trips with you guys. I want to I want to go to the Mediterranean. I want to go to the south of France. I want to go to Africa. I want to eat weird things in Tokyo and hang out with hip hop Asians.

I want to do all those things with my friends. Okay, well, you know we just got one thing that stopping us in is fucking Corona. So y'all need to put your mask on. They need to get a vaccine so we can fucking live our best travel nor lives. Yeah that's what I want. So, Andrew, did you decide what you're doing for your birthday yet?

New York. No Flat attendants called me, sir, so just one short year ago, Irene, who will never forget ever on the United Flat, said sir and Sacks and she is dead to me.

not with me. All Right, y'all know to drill, you know, subscribe, whatever, comment, do all those things tell people to listen to the podcast. It's been four years. Wow, that's I don't believe. I need to check my receipts. Four years going too much time. Anyway, this is gonna be the last episode of the podcast because it's been four years and.