Vibrating Panties at Applebee's

Forever, I.

Hie. Let's talk about how we're recording right now at nighttime. This is the quiet storm after dark.

Yeah, nobody knows that we record, you know what day, what time? Nobody has any idea, And I love that we're disclosing that now.

Well, this is the this is the nighttime. The sun is well, I guess the sun is up where you're at, but it's it's nighttime here. I had done, had dinner, I had dessert. Oh how was dinner? Dinner was cute, it was cut I made some basmati rice. How is that how you say that basmati? I did that and then I made some Uh, the dog pooped. Oh my god, this is crazy. I'm sorry. I gotta get out of the poop room. Oh see, this is why you can't rescue dogs. They poop when you save them. But no,

Sorry.

Somebody made it a guest appearance on the pod. Yeah, okay, the impatus. Somebody's making a guest appearance on the pod.

Else, Oh my god, celebrity sighting.

Wow, she's mad? Never mind? Uh okay? So uh yeah? So how is your rice? Delicious? Rice is good? I don't know why people say that rice is hard to make. It's very easy for me. An expert at making rice is what I am.

You are really, you really are good at making rice, because I went to your house and you did it so easy. It didn't even seem like it's like second nature for you.

I just I feel like I watched my mother make rice every week for my entire life. I just I don't know what the hell a rice cooker is or what that how that works. People are like rice cookers are easy. It's easier for me to just put it in the little pot.

Well, I don't know if you guys are giving out gifts these holidays that are coming up, you know, even though Thanksgiving is canceled and.

So is Christmas.

But I would love for a Kwansa gift. If somebody would like to give me a rice Kwanzi gift, that would be got. That would be a city. How many days of Kwansa?

Are there? Eight? Eight days of Kwansa? Can you name them? No, I can't confirm or deny if there are eight days? Andrew, can you tell us how many days of Quanta there are?

Kwanza this year starts on set. I did not need to look this up and.

Yet and yet you're reading Yeah. I was like, okay, Andrew just knows.

Yeah, I just know Kwanza.

I mean people definitely celebrate.

Do you know anybody that actually celebrates Kwansa?

Yes?

Actually people really? Okay, I've yet to meet a single person. It starts on the twenty sixth of December and then ends the first of January, so.

Or seven days?

That's like five or six, right, I don't know.

The city was in the ballpark. I would love a rice cooker all for a Kwanza gift. Okay, Well, I don't know yet what I would like for a Kuanza gift, but let me think on it. By the end of the episode, I'll be able to tell you guys what I want as a Quanta gift. Great, okay, Andrew, what would you like as a Kuanza gift?

I would love an Amazon gift card so I don't need to spend my own money on Amazon. It will be someone else's money.

Now, how much, let's talk about how much, because you know, we got to talk about you know, price points here, how.

Much you're willing to spend. Really, there is no price too high.

I feel like fifty dollars is a good gift card starting amount it is.

I think fifty is a good amount. I think one hundred dollars is like you've bet we've been friends for a long time, or you're obsessed with the podcast and shenuinely in love with us. Wait, hold on, let's speak about people being in love.

Marie, you received a beautiful.

I'm a fan that said they loved the unofficial expert, but it seems like they only love Marie Fauston because I did not get artwork as well.

You know what's really funny? Maybe maybe this young artist, her name is Tasiana Grays. Shout out to you. Sis. Maybe this young artist only knows how to draw a bald people and she couldn't get the braids down. Sis. I don't know, I don't know.

You know, you did say that you did, you did try to, uh, you know, you try to help her out, but she said, the unofficial.

Expert, but she only took a bit drew a picture of you. So i'm her Well, I mean, Sidney, that's neither here nor there. People have done artwork of you before, and I'm not in my feelings about that at all. So I feel like, sometimes you just gotta let people get their gifts and you need to mind. Oh, sometimes you gotta let people get their gifts and you need to shut your lips. Have about dead No no, no, no no no, I disagree. People have drawn you before.

Literally is it's.

Literally it's another comedian who drew that. Just well, I am also a comedian in that comic didn't drawn me. I know if she knows you, she knows me. So let's get down the brass Tacks Beach. But yeah it was the girl is from she lives in the UK because the stand I mean she it came via DHL I think or DHS. What's the whatever the international mailman is. But that was really cool.

Yeah, I would like that for Kwansa as well. I would like smart work.

You know what I would like for Kwanza some skims. I want somebody to send me some skims lounge wear because I am not giving Kim none of my money.

So she shouldn't be supporting her business. So there's definitely a black owned business that has, you know, skims equivalent and positive or a white person listening to the podcast can go steal some skims and send them to me with the little security tags on them.

I'll figure out how to take those off.

I am not supporting anything that Marie Fouston said on this podcast today.

I'm not telling people.

To steal steal stetistically skims, not telling them to steal that.

I'm specifically asking you to steal skims. Anything you can steal from a white or beige or alabaster Anglo Sax business would be lovely. And then please support black businesses during this difficult time.

Yeah, but I would like you to genuinely go on Google search for something that is Skims equivalent.

That's a black owned business.

You can also send that that That's how you put the money back into the community.

That's just wow. Wow Wizards.

But your girl, but your girl, your fan are Marie Fauston wants Skims. So if you also want to help her out for Quanta, get her what she wants.

Listen, you know what I'm gonna do tomorrow. I'm gonna go get a po box. I'm gonna go get a po box. I don't know how you even get those or where one is found. I think at the post office. I'm gonna get a po box so that people can send me stuff because giving you guys my address is weird.

Yeah, I mean we used to give the address to the studio, but that doesn't work anymore.

So the studio is officially shut down.

Doves, you gotta stop. What happened? Y'all doing bad? What's up?

I'm doing bad? Yeah, it's fucking twenty.

Let me find out, y'all. Y'all unemployed.

The dog is also hit by the coronavirus.

Oh that's crazy. I didn't know y'all was poor.

Yeah, well, I mean like we're not. We're recording on Zoom right now.

Why would we y'all don't have to pay rent? So y'all should be doing great that part.

Yeah, I mean, I guess we're doing well. Podcasts are having a moment right now, so they are.

They're having a long ten months more.

I mean, it's an ongoing moment. It's just won't stop, can't stop.

Can't stop, won't stop. Yes, Well, I don't know if you guys could see me bravely sitting on my living room floor right now. But the other day I came home and something did I say this on the podcast last week? Something crawled across my rug and I thought it was a mouse, and it was. It was the biggest bug I've ever seen in my life. Stop it. Oh that bug must be from Kenya. Okay, Well, another thing on the Kwanza list. I think we're we need.

Yo the bugators the exterminator.

It was the size, the length of my What the fuck was it, Marie? And it was?

It was the legs were long. It was like a pop up bug. It wasn't like flat on the floor like a roach.

It was like three d legs. And I was like, oh, this bug is in imax and so like I sprayed.

Something and like maybe that would be in like a bug's life.

It was one like, well I saw a bug's life recently. Maybe like a praying man it was. It was. It was not praying sis, I was praying. The buck was. I don't know.

It was like a big ass beetle water bug thing with like stilts.

It was a tall water bugs. It was the da Kembo mutumbo of water. I said, not in my house, and I sprayed it and then I tried to kick it, and of course it had landed on the front of my sandal and I was no, it was on the edge of my berks.

A picture, okay, if you didn't take a picture, it didn't happen like this wold time for content and here you go, this sitting out of this world wildlife. Uh, it's a it's a Connecticut a Greenwich Connecticut water bug. Aka. This this roach was a dupe. It was two stories tall. I was like, I got it. I have to move. This is the roach's house.

Now was it? Okay?

So it looked like a water It was like it was like that. It was like that big.

Sis, Why were you not screaming your fuck eye rags? I was screaming my brain.

I would have banged on my neighbor's door and be like, sir, come get your girl.

I said, did you leave your dog in my apartment? The fuck? He's like that. No, but but you know, when you see a roach or a spider or a mouse, you have to stay and see where it goes so you know where it's at. Otherwise I wasn't gonna be able to sleep that night knowing that somewhere in my house was this godzilla ass.

Buzz and there's probably more of them.

To no, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that. I'm that was once in a lifetime, in a moment, so it was.

A one one. Yeah, this bug was antisocial, but I managed to step step on it with my berts. So shout out to white people for inventing birks.

Wait, did you take a picture of the splat?

No? Because I went to go put some gloves on and then put my hand on like a tissue, because you can't. I didn't want to bare knuckle it with a napkin. I went to go get a glove and it was it was like I saw it moving and I was like, this is a ghetto.

Like but first of all, it's just like girl, you what you have to do is there's an app for that. There's an app that you can like take a picture of a bug and tell you what it is. So it's like you could see how like there's an app for that.

There's an app.

It's called Your House is Nasty app.

Wadny.

That's so funny that you're calling my house nasty.

You literally stepped in dogo right before you had Reword on this podcast.

And also you're the one familiar with this app.

Too, talk about it familiarity.

I see you're picking sides here, the founder to pick sides of two black women having a disagreement, and you're not making it better, Andrew, you're not making it better.

Stay out of it this. Andrew Sydney's an angel investor in the app. That's what you Anyway, I picked it up and I flush it down the toilet. That bug was not going in my trash.

There's somebody right now listening to this. Their fucking edges are burning off. They're upset because they're.

Like, why did you kill it?

Why they got their scrunchy and a bunk in a bunch right now?

Why did you kill you? You could be going extinct to tell it was me. I want them to know it was me. I can't. I can't stand these people.

It will It's not that I can't say, like, of course, like don't kill the bees. Don't kill the bees. The bees are dying, Like, let's preserve the bees. The bees are that's bees are the only animals that we care about. Yeah, but I'm just trying to figure out what does a fucking roach do for me? What have you done for me lately? Roach except really make it hard to have a freaking party at my house.

Oh. I mean, we can be socially distancing anyway. But the bug, the bug was in here, like he paid bills. I was like, oh, I didn't realize you were watching TV in here, but yeah it was. And it was so fast anyway, right where I'm sitting right now. So I'm very brave. I just can't believe so taking a picture of it. I can't believe you wanted me to take a picture of this nasty ass bug in my house. We're trying to erase evidence. Matter of fact, I might

Just wants you to use the eye hold on.

This is a great prompt question.

Guys, now that it's getting colder, what little critters are coming to your house as an unwanted guess?

They got your place looking like a hostel right now. They're coming in with their suitcase. Is like, I'll be here for about a one to two months.

I feel like they as the only critters that are coming into people's houses right now is like, you know dudes that are banging for shelter.

Whoa, let's talk about that now.

I mean, this is the time of year that it's like trust no bitch, like trust no one.

Everyone is out for their own good. They trying to get cooked.

They're like, yo, I want I want to have turkey for holiday. I don't have any family. They're like, I don't have electricity, so I want to have lights on. I want to have Wi Fi. I want to have cuddles. I mean, I need a comforter. Niggas don't even have duvets, right now they're lower. It's just freezing, no heater, no nothing. So like I say, like date with precaution. First of all, you shouldn't be dating anyway because we're in a pandemic.

I think this is no. You didn't wait to the new year. You didn't wait to the new year.

No, no, no, it's because I was prime time. I didn't wait around for y'all, hos. I was like, listen, we got March April, May secured by May June.

So okay, I say, now it's now you should be looking for your mate to date right now because we're getting we're coming up on peak depression season. You don't want to be alone during a dimn by yourself with your bug house, okay, But you don't want to get you sad with somebody else who's fucking sad and can't go anywhere with you, So wouldn't you else who's I

Time to try to find somebody before depression season truly kicks in. The whole the whole year is depression season. What you're talking about, We've all been going through it. I'm trying to figure out when has it let up? When has the season stopped and started over again. Depression season is winter time sis when the sun sets at two pm. Yeah, but unfortunately, based on everything with you know, our current president and the coronavirus, I mean, we've literally been hit with.

Months upon months of sadness. So this is true. I'm not gonnague with you about that. Everybody everybody is sad right now. But I think that you still got to find things that you know. You gotta find the light at the end of the tunne, friend, And maybe the light at the end of the tunnel is cooking for your friends, or maybe the light is I don't know,

Okay, Oh and that's great the fact that you just said, when you said a keyword friends, let's focus on friendship because friendship is going to be there.

You know, you were bringing in and out.

We got these people that you're like, oh, I want a date, but you know who's there, your friends. Your friends are going to be picking up when you know you want to do some ratchet hood rat shit. They're picking up FaceTime calls at three am. You know they're getting you kwansa gifts, they're getting you sometimes.

Okay, but sometimes you FaceTime your friend and your friend is in the bathroom douchhe in, they booty, which is enter.

You're welcome, You're welcome, you're well for you facetiming while you you're welcome.

Sometimes your friend is nasty. Sis. It takes a village to douche ass.

Okay, so it doesn't it Sometimes it's one chat's it takes one community situation, It takes one one bulb.

I want you to take that back. I'm not taking that back. Did you take it back? Oh? I had to throw it away. Sis, I had to throw it away. I couldn't put it back. You do you throw it away? It's a one time. I've never douched my booty, but I'll think about it. Also.

Also, wait, another another thing for the for the listeners. Don't take on someone else's, you know, issues, because we all have our own issues. And that's the issue with dating, is that like once you really get invested and it's like, oh my god, we're in this together, and it's like, man, I only got enough rope for myself.

So well, you can't pour from an empty cup? How about that? Poor enough? You're if you're pouring all of your positive energy and all your light into somebody else's cup, who is filling your cup? Sis?

Yeah? Could you gotta you know, unless unless your cup is a brit and it's oval, you know, it's a Britter filter and you know, you put stuff in, it comes out and it's restored, then you're good. But unfortunately we're not unlimited with that stuff. So I say, protect your energy, guys, right, this is not this is not olive garden. No, unlimited breadsticks and salad.

Here new ma'am. But uh, what else did I want to talk? Oh? I went and got a I got a COVID test today, and it was so different than the last COVID test I got at City MD. They shoved the thing literally onto your cerebellum. They scrape your brain fluid. But yeah, and they and your eyes water and your fingers like involuntary. Like it's like you start to do it.

Smell well, it smells like you're about to have like a nose bleed, you know, you know that smell.

It does feel it feels like your period is coming, and it feels like you're about to your nose is about to bleed. But today she just like dabbed it in my nose for like five seconds, like right way down here, and I was like, oh, this must be how they do it for people who have insurance. Nude No.

I but I think that some of the tests are right, and I think some of the tests are like the test adjacent.

To be honest, I don't think all the tests are right. Well, that's when I got my test today. They were like, this test is ninety eight point five percent effective. This is a good test. And I was like, so what the other tests? What are the other tests? They kind of wrong.

Yeah, I'm in LA and I went to Dodgers Stadium and it was so easy except I didn't put it.

Up my nose.

It was only in my mouth and I was using a swab all up in my mouth.

And then I dropped in. I know you like that name gross. Actually I'm holding back from oral.

No.

Wait, so was doctor stadium full? Uh?

No, people were driving in and driving out. It was so quick, fast, fast fast fast. Internet lines are so the lines are so long in Brooklyn. Yeah, and there was no line for you.

No, because I was. It was I went in like for a job, so they I went into the office to take it right, and it was just the employees down there waiting to take their test too. I said, yeah, I work here, so that's beautiful. Mm hmmm. It was nice, And I mean it would have been nicer if they provided some type of cookie or juice after the test, but I guess that's only for when you donate blood or whatever.

Yeah, or a really thorough papsmerror.

Have you ever donated blood? Friend? Uh? Not voluntarily.

I've lost I've lost some blood, but not because I was trying to give it to somebody.

So that's weird, have you. No, I've never donated blood. I feel like I needed to be in my body.

Yeah, I'm already pretty anemic, and I feel like I have all these issues that I don't know what they are, and I just don't want to pass that on.

To anybody else. Nobody needs that. Nobody else needs that drama. Andrew, you seem like somebody who might donate some blood. You ever know, He's not allowed. He's a gay man.

I'm a man.

Gay men aren't allowed to donate blood. No, man, it is the most homophobic thing.

Oh I'm I'm not. I'm not vocally like like angry about it because I hate getting blood to begin with.

But so, but like when you were in high school, were you out?

I was out my senior year.

I worked blood drives inhigh school, and people were don't donating.

The weird the weirdest thing in my high school. They only made you like. They made it like almost required of the honor students to give blood, like to be part of the National Honor Society. You also gave blood.

I don't know what, So I gotta be smarter than everybody, and I got to donate my blood exactly.

Yeah, that's your reward.

They said, we don't want none of that detention blood. Give us some of that honorall nerd blood.

Yeah, we want We don't want blood from people who are showing up late and not doing their assignments. We want them extra credit niggas. Come on through, extra credit niggas.

They said, I'm sorry you your GPA is what a two point five? If you don't get you a dumbest. We don't take bloods from We don't take blood from people who get D minuses. No, thank you, they said, you in the Bokses program. Nah, we don't want that. That that that deribe all. I was in the National Honor Society, but I also have never donated blood in my entire life. Okay, so I didn't. I feel like maybe I had heard a whisper of that, but I didn't know that. Gay people like, what if you don't

Oh no, no, no, Like it's like you need to fill out a form and it says like have you had sex with another man since like the year, Like nineteen ninety or something.

So oh wow, okay, that's automatic. We need to get Kim Kardashian on this case cuz she solves it all that feels wrong.

I mean people have been We've talked about it for many many years. They that is the one thing that they not go on.

Let up on. They're like, you all have AIDS.

I don't care if it says it's negative. You have AIDS. We don't want your blood. That's so crazy.

Your blood has the potential to have AIDS.

No, thank you, that is pretty rial. Yeah, but you know, it's just like sperm banks. It's like you can only be five to nine or wait, what you can It's not just like sperm banks.

But in order to wait, you can only donate sperm if you are five nine. En up, that's yeah, that is that true. I feel like I feel like short men have so much sperm to give.

See new their sperm shoots as much as their heights.

So listen, if you're under five to nine, you put on some time cruise wedges and you go donate that, jeez, because you deserve to be a father to somebody that you'll never meet. How about that? No, I just to give them.

What are you doing this for?

How? Who did this help? Marie? Short? Short people who wanted and cups short people? Who are you?

No, I'm gonna who are you showing up?

Strong? Got new for that? Cis?

That's that's not helping any of your good.

Sister and and Sydney are talking about like showing up for gay men. You're talking about showing up for men underneath the five nine. Yeah, it's weird, not the same.

Well, there are gay men under five nine.

Yeah, and I don't care about them.

But wait, you can't wait sperm if you're a gay man though, right, Yeah, yeah.

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't. I don't know. Don't fact check me on that, I believe.

Yeah, I mean, Andrew, what are you talking? Andrew? You knew so much about Kwanza you don't know nothing about?

Yeah, I naturally knew so much about kwanse.

Yes, Sidney, what are some of the other requirements for donating sperm? Because I feel like you.

In it now, the unofficial sperm expert.

Enough, I know that I know that you have to be you know, five nine and above.

Interesting and yet all men do not have tall babies. No, some babies still won't be sure.

I think they're saying that men under five nine are kind of like stunted, like they're like like a defect baby.

I think that's what kidding.

Yea under five nine is a handicap, and I'm joking.

Shorter than five nine is the new cliff List.

So I'm so sorry, but Sidney, what are you doing in your pants right now?

Smelling?

Yeah?

No, it was not like put it in your pants smell not. I forgot that you guys could see Yo, Sydney. After all this time, you forgot how zoom work. God.

Wow, the comedy just keeps coming and coming and coming. No, okay, is that what you do over there with your hands and your pants is coming and coming and coming.

I'm actually very tired of Come. I'm up. I don't want anymore. I'm all set.

Okay, So, speaking of come, what's the update on the neighbors. Yes, I'm just you know, just being really quiet and respectful. I mean, I put the note on Twitter, and you know, it was fifty to fifty, but most of the people were like, these people are nice neighbors and you're just you're just being an asshole.

And blah blah blah blah blah. Oh and or people are in your DM saying that No, they were writing it under the comments.

Because I made a joke and I posted it and I was like, this is racist and homophobic someone telling us to be quiet. But that's that's the joke. But obviously people don't get that, and they're just like at a time, like that's you can't be joking and calling people racists and homophubs.

I'm like, shut, you are the problem, not me being wowed. You're the problem. They said, you the problems is. They said it's you, not damn.

But I will say I'm gonna go on record again if two black lesbian women are being allowed, let them okay, just let them, just let it, just let it rock.

I don't know, I'll call the cops on some chance. If I'm in my house, if I'm in my house trying to touch myself, I'm trying to have hot nightcap, I'm trying to watch my my love Craft season finale, and it's two lesbians upstairs being loud. I'd been like, yeah, it's two niggas being loud. I think I think they got dual rags on and there's put something up there. I need you to consent a unit to please.

I can't believe you would make that kind of joke considering how terrible the police are.

But do you booz do?

But you boo yes, yes, yes, but I mean I don't live with the police.

I'm living with two loud lesbians. Hey, can you send the car police?

That's uh, that's so weird considering you know, black women are disappearing left and right.

You bring back our girls knowing that black women are disappearing.

You're keeping your volume all the way up so we know that you're still here.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

During the day too. That was the that was the part.

No, no, no, no, no. It was that we got the note because of the nighttime.

So it was of the nighttime. Okay, not justifying.

It, but thank you, just just throwing honestly, Sydney. I think you know, I'm not going to say no names or put no fingers, but I think maybe some people are jealous that you're having sex regularly in the middle of the day. Yes, but I mean, sis live your truth. You just put the pillow on your face.

That's all all I'm going to say is if you are taking a nine inch fat cock.

You would be screaming too. Oh did you say the word cock? You said the word, Oh my god, nine inch. Let me let us show us, show us.

The penis absolutely not show up already have already, you know, the person already said let's let's tone it down.

What does the person know that you just said the word on the podcast? That was a joke. I'm a comedian. Jeez. We'll just just turn your laptop a little bit so we can see it, because I know it's right on the night stand.

That's why you're putting your hands in your pants.

And oh you know, here's another thing that I want for Kwanza Christmas this year. I want a pair of remote control vibrating panties. That's fun. That's what I want. I don't have anybody at the moment to press the button for me, but damn says, wow, you.

Do What have they made of? How? What does that? How does it work?

So there's I don't know what the sign behind it is, what the magic is? The wonder of Disney in the panties, But there's something you put the panties on and there's something in it that like vibrates and then your lover or your dad, I don't know, whoever has the remote, and while you're like walking up the sidewalk, they hate it and it's like this and you're like, yeah, I would hate for you to rely on me to hit the buzzer because either you would be waiting all night for me.

To hit the buzzer because I forget, or I'll be having too much fun.

But I mean, if if I was responsible, it would be like at the bottom of my person I'd have to throw my purse down and then I might leave it out and I might leave it in an uber, you know what I mean. But I think that's a fun gift to get a loved one this year for Kwanza. So every kiss begins with Kwanza. Yeah. So yeah, I got your friend. I'll take care of you.

I'm also we've had this conversation before, but I was like, you know, every secret, Sanna, I get Marie every secrets and what does who does Marie get some other friend?

And so I'm I'm calling you.

I give good Christmas gifts. Yeah, and I'm calling you out, bitch. I think we need to have a secret Santa with just us oh, because you want me to get you a Christmas Yeah, Kwanta gaft, bitch, I want a quantaa Christmas? What else is on the Kwanza list that I want?

I don't know how you want to quana and a Christmas gift? I'm not getting two gifts? Sis, the nerve, you pick one, friend, the nerve.

I was complaining to Marie about that, how she doesn't give me gifts, and then she started scanning the room of the.

Gifts that I've gotten her. She's like, look at that gift you got me over there, so you bed light right there? You got me? You got me things? Sidney, what else would you like to get? Okay? So, Secret Sannah? What's the limit? How much money are we spending for Secret cent of this year? Let's talk about that? Hm? Hm, Andrew, what's your fifty dollars? Fifty dollars?

What the limit? I feel like it should be. I don't know, make a big go on hundred.

Oh big dollar big. I like like, Andrew.

Okay, wait, what if we did what if we did the three of us the secret Sanna?

Nah, bitch, you got but you got me, you know what I mean? I got ery No, no, we're not doing that.

Well, we just get each other the vibrating panties and then do it during the recording.

Oh wear or we'll.

Both wear our vibrating panties at the same time and each of each other's remote How about like.

A little battle.

Yeah, I think that that would be fun for everybody involved.

Okay, let me see how much vibrating panties costs remote control remote panties panties Amazon long distance? Okay, remote panties long distance. Oh okay, they're like seventeen dollars or thirty nine dollars Nasis.

You gotta really go all out. You don't want to be going fast like fabric ass panties.

And then it's gonna shock me. Yeah, it's gonna a minute.

They have to be fabric panties. What kind of panties you think I'm having? Some men, but like cheane fabric. The fabric is cheap, like it might catch on fire.

Sis, Sidney Savage fanty don't have vibrating panties, So rihanna get it together, bitch, get some vibrating panties on there. Thank you so much. Well, I mean the reviews on Adam and Eve dot com not that good. Let me go on long distance fun with bluetooth. We can get them with bluetooth. Oh, now that so you can like play music out of it like a to do.

People in your building can connect.

Yeah you could. Yeah, you could air drop stuff to the pantings. All right, I'm gonna do some real research on it later.

But well that's what you want. You want some vibrating panties for real, because I better have because I want to get the remote on the weekends.

No, I don't want to. I don't. I feel like a lover, a loved one. Somebody are sure banging has to get those for you, or you got to get them for them. That's like a sex gift.

What are serious that gets you yet to do?

It's like we talk all this, Okay, here's here's here's the we're gonna get them for each other, and then we're gonna go to Applebee's for half priced appetized.

From you wait, vibrating panties at Applebee's.

That's the title, Thank you, vibrating panties and Applebee's. Or or we have to get the vibrating panties and then we have to wear them for sid can cook yo, but that should be for OnlyFans only. That should be on all that would be everyone shot it out. I think that would be a great episode for Sid can cook. Yeah, I'm taking a I'm taking a hiatus. I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna I'm not gonna call it Thanksgiving because I want Thanksgiving to be canceled this year.

I mean, we've had enough.

We realized that Sopher Columbus was trash and we destroyed the Native Americans, So like, why do we keep celebrating this. Your grandmother cannot cook. I'm tired of seeing all this stupid food on this day. And I'm supposed to like that and be like, yeah, your mother can throw down.

She can't. She can't.

I don't care what part of the South she's from. The turkey look dry. No, you said you don't care what part of the South she's from. She's probably not from the South that the chicken is dry. She's probably from some one of the states that ain't got no lakes. I also, I feel like I take.

For granted the fact that my mother is a good cook, because a lot of people's moms can't cook. No, And that had never occurred to me. I think I thought it was a requirement that in order to have children you had to be able to cook.

Nor the requirement is just you have a uterus. That's the requirement to have kids.

That's all. You need, a uterus that works. If you can't cook, you should lose your reproductive system.

No, that's not fair Marie that I'm going to rebuke you on that, bitch, because that would mean me and we're not doing that.

Ohsis, Sid can cook, You're gonna do it.

With the baby when I have one, probably, sure, you know.

Andw Andrew can your mom cook?

No? I felt personally attacked by that exactly.

So what would you guys eat? What would you guys eat after school for dinner?

It would just be a lot of like macari and cheese out of the box, you know.

Yeah, God, a lot of y'all, a lot of y'all are eating a Boston Market on Thanksgiving and it shows, it shows, and so I just like, just cancel it. Just we're done, no more.

No, I am shocked. Moment of silence for all the people whose momas can't cook. Mama, you know, love you, you know that love mom. So a lot of a lot of Hamburger helper listeners on the on the pod tonight.

I don't know, but I mean, if you guys want to write in the comments what your mom is like best at in terms of cooking, I would love cidny.

Let's talk about the comments. You haven't posted on the unofficial expert page and literally since nineteen ninety one, since before games. That's a lie. You are done. The last person who posted on that page is me, and that was I mean, you asked me to do that, and I was like, oh, I guess, and then you just never went back.

Wait, I have a I have a comment about this. I didn't think this would finally come up. But in the last post that you made, you said the link in the bio would be coming soon. And why did you just add it to what is even mean?

Andrew? I can't believe you are close to because.

It's like you took the time out obviously to create this post, but you didn't have the time to.

Do but because because on our in our comment, I mean, the link is like link tree and we gotta added to the link tree and then a bit bitch it's coming soon anyway, It's still we still have time it's still coming soon. Relative Yeah, it's so good.

Andrew, you are fucking patty. You are petty Patty misterson Park, Andrew, you are mayonnaise. That's what you want, Petty Mick Feerson, You're so confused.

I saw that and I was like, it's not coming anytime soon.

You are Giselle knows. Andrew, you sent us flyers for last week.

And what did I do? I posted in my Stories? I did.

Yeah, Sidney, that's not where you were supposed to post it. You're supposed to post it on the unofficial expert page. Don't act like you deserve a cookie. You didn't do what you were supposed to do. You an't even posted on the unofficial Expert stories. This is what I'm talking about.

She's like, Andrew, you said us flyers for the page, and I put it on my story. Girl by Marie didn't even promote the podcast.

Okay, Marie, I don't know. Maybe I'm just I am being really shady tonight. But Marie, you were the one that asked for the promotional pictures and then Sidney was the one that posted them. So why did you?

Because Andrew the last person who posted on the page again, I repeat, is me? So the next post was supposed to be Sydney inside, and Sydney is locked into.

The Unofficial Expert on her phone. I'm not locked in because I log out of both of them and I rarely in it. Guys.

I just want to let you know that we were very diligent about the Unofficial Expert at one point in the career, and.

You know, we got busy. We're a little busy.

And for Kwansa, I would just love I would love that that old energy back.

Is.

I just want the link to be on the bio. That's all I want.

Link in the bio.

Is that Quanta the link in the bios.

I'm gonna put the link in the bio.

People have been waiting a while.

I'm were crying. You know, it's really hard to maintain two pages during the pandem, you know, Like I feel like even the stuff that I'm putting on my page is like completely different than what I thought my Instagram was going to be. Now I'm like holistic and I'm I'm I'm I'm black goop. So that's what I do know, but I don't know. I guess all I want for Kwansa is you know, an unpaid intern for Kwansa this year is somebody to just do it for us, but

I feel like the days were shorter and I didn't have enough time to do that I was supposed to do. And then the week was over and everything that I was supposed to do on a Friday just couldn't. It just didn't make it in the schedule. I was like, I'll start over next week.

You know, No, I don't know what you're talking about, not at all. Nobody knows what you're talking about. Also, why did it get so dark over there? Since there's no lights on over here?

We're just this is, you know, just dealing with daylight, the daylight that's out there, but it's the.

Sun is going down, so the sun is still a But Andrew, doesn't it look mad dark in here? Now? It looks lighter now I can touch myself. You can't see it.

Prostitution. I'm disgusting, and you love it. What would you do without me?

I would probably have a functioning social media page. Without you, wow with the link in the bio.

I'm the one who started the link tree for unofficial expert, So then technically you're the one who's supposed to put the link in the bio because I don't even know what the third is.

I don't know what our link tree password is. So Andrew, there you have it. The reason why the link is not in the bio is because Sydney Elizabeth Washington there the Live Tell. Okay, so, what's one thing that you did this week for like a self care, feel good thing that you did for yourself this week for Andrew? No, everybody, I'm asking the room. Well, Andrew can go first.

Well I saw Bad Hair, which I really liked.

But wow, okay, Andrew, what did you like about Bad Hair?

I thought it was like campy. I thought it was fun. It was like there were like parts that was like genuinely like grossed out by which was it was good. It was a good horror film. I mean it wasn't like Jordan Peele level, but like it was fun. It was good.

Okay, So how many out of out of ten? How many what rating would you give it?

I would say I would say I'd give it a a seven.

Point five seven. That's that's pretty high, Sydney. What what did you not like about the movie?

I'm gonna watch my words, but I think that you know the movie. I can have the appreciation for the horror aspect, but I will say that black women's hair is just not in at a point in society.

Where it can be u satirized.

I don't think that it can be used in such a material yet where you can make it look like the hair is bad. When for ages people were saying that our natural hair is bad or weaves are bad. Like it's just you know, the movie was written by a black person.

Yes, it's a white person. Didn't write bad hair.

No, no, no, no, but let's not let's not get it fucked up that First of all, it was a black man.

So a bald black man. I'm looking at his Yeah, so his edges right now.

Yeah, just because you are black, that doesn't mean that you can encompass all the black experiences and you can't speak on behalf of black women.

Okay. I mean I feel like you're trying to get real deep when it doesn't need to be that deep. Sis, just say.

You didn't like the movie or say that you didn't like the weaves, or say you didn't like who was.

Cast for no, no, no, no no no. For you to be like, I don't.

Think black women's hair can be surprise, girl, what are you talking about?

Did you see the movie People with Bad Hair before, and we make fun of their hair, whether they're black, white, yellow, green. You've seen the movie.

I have not seen the movie, Chris since So when you watch the movie, you didn't get back to us.

You're saying no, but you're saying you don't think that we should be making fun of black women's hair. That's what you're saying. I don't have to see the movie to hear what you're saying.

No, no, no, it's it wasn't about making fun of black women's hair. It's the movie is actually what bad hair like The hair is takes on this monster and kills people.

Oop spoiler alert Sorry guys. Damn See this is why I can't do movie reviews.

The trailer.

That's true, it is in the trailer.

But I just don't think we're at the point where we can say that.

But they weren't. They weren't saying that the natural hair was.

But it was. It was that when she was so Sydney, you feel personally attacked because your weave is badding. No, no, no, no, no.

The girl everybody at the office was giving her hard time because her hair wasn't done, her natural hair wasn't quote quote done.

Even though it was done, they kept.

Saying, like it it doesn't fit in with the office, it doesn't fit in with the look that we have going on here. And then she gets a weave and everybody's like, oh my god, this is a meaning.

But in reality, then the weaves.

Starts killing people. And by the end of.

It was regular.

It wasn't even like this outstanding, lavish, like beautiful lace front.

It was just it was just regular. It was a regular weave. And then the and then the weaves starts killing people. Yes, I think that's the point of the movie, since you're saying that they're making fun of black women's hair and seven, if anything, it's proven that natural hair is good hair and weave is bad hair.

That's what it sounds like. No, you got you just gotta see it, Marie. Then when you see it, you'll see what I'm talking about.

Like Sidney, I feel like I don't know if I want to take movie advice from you, because you said that you watched the whole season of Emily and and I couldn't even make it through the first episode. So well, no, no, no, I said that the movie was bad.

I just because I enjoyed it doesn't mean that it's a good show. I personally just enjoyed. Like how tone deaf the show was.

I love it, I didn't like it, and I actually I don't. If you haven't seen it, please don't watch it. I don't want it to get the clicks and the views on Netflix because we don't need any more of that. Like the movie, the show is like peak White Bridge too. Oh yeah, absolutely. It was speak French. Here's my beret. I'm in France, and it was like.

And then I'm gonna have an Eiffel Tower key chain, and it's like, sis, that's like going to New York and wearing I Love New York sweatshirt.

But you know what's crazy is that is that's peak American right there? Is it was hidden, it was on the nose. It was on the nose too. Well, how about that? Okay, So the guy who wrote Bad Hair also wrote Dear White People, I don't know if that ads or subtracts anything in your mind. Love Dear White People. Loved it, loved that show. Did you? What was your thoughts? I I did not see the movie Dear White People People the sion. No, it was a movie. First. It was a movie, and he wrote the movie, and I

It's like, if you like someone, then you're liking that then you're following them just off the basis that you like them, But in real life that's not what it is like. People that you don't like have a story too, and annoying people are usually the lead that, like the end of story Sarah Jessica Parker and Sex and the City bad, just annoying, selfish.

Yes, a bitch, that's that's something that we know now watching the series as a adults. When we were watching Sex in the City, I don't know, five years even ago, it was like, oh, okay, she got you a little wardrobe up where she worked that she can afford these manolos, and she lives alone and she ain't got no ros and she's asked me her friends for money. Well, well, well look who just reposted something on the Unofficial Expert Stories literally seven minutes ago. I gotta go linking bio.

Everybody else got guests, and shit, we over here just putting it together on our own. Okaya, we wourn't our hearts out.

Because we didn't want guests. And then when we still having guests, yes, when we stop having guests, I was like, well, I don't feel like posting on the pit. It's just gonna be us again yea, and again and again and it's like we don't have enough, like new pictures of ourselves too. Yes, but last week we had a whole d nasty and we had a whole Andrew did that beautiful Mariah Carey flyer for us?

You do?

What did you do? Babe Sydney? Excuse me? What did you do? Yes? When Andrew sent us the photo for the podcast page, I we posted it in the stories.

My page that has more followers, just throwing it out there, tagged him.

What you didn't post it on the on the unofficial expert page is where I'm back to Sydney. I'll do that tomorrow.

All right, Well, let's just agree to disagree on how the page is being run the tires.

Who wants to post on the unofficiation expert page? How about that?

No?

I thought we got to end this episode because I can't hear, and we having technical difficulties and we need to put the link in the bio in the bi. I don't get the bio Marine get it together. She'd have to be the title as well, linking the bio. Oh my god, I can't stop screaming at this. Andrew, the fact that you pull that out of your ass to come from marine. I think every day for the rest of the week, we post stumping on the un official expert page. Okay, i'm bit, let's go.

I think Sydney's gone.

Hello. Oh she froze. Yeah, and my microphone is malfunctioning.

Wow. Oh wait, now she's back.

I'm back. I'm here. The devil is always working.

He thought I was frozen, but it was just I'm in the dark.

Oh so why didn't you say anything?

I did.

Like fifteen sends it was a friend.

Well, you know, she's on West Coast Town, so of course. Look at the palm trees in the back, just blowing in the wind.

Okay, well, you know, this felt very fun and dramatic, and it definitely feels like you're at a kitchen table with us, just keeking over a couple of hot gossip.

That's what somebody said in the in the review. I don't know why, but in my head, Sidney's new boo is young.

M Okay, no personal comments. Please guys, just leave, leave the reviews and keep it moving. Thank you the comments, keep personal reviews, keep to yourself.

Thank you, five stars. You're welcome. Please keep the personal comments, and please keep painting us and drawing us and keep sketching us, like sketching us like you can draw your French girls, Sidney and Marie. It's actually an official expert. I'm fine with you. You just do one of us per per post. That's I'm actually cool with that, because if you do both of us, then we're gonna want to post it on the unofficial expert page and put your

I think no, I think that they should send it to the unofficial expert page. So they're like that page does get some action ultimately.

Than you. Yeah, wow, thank you.

It's been real dry over there.

And you're welcome. Mac in a pot. Okay, all right, well, we'll bring some moisture to the page this month. We will.

We're gonna know this is what we're doing because soon this is yep, this is this is gonna be on Friday, but we did it on a Monday, so we're just gonna keep it going for the week.

Yeah we are. I'm gonna post a picture of me with natural hair and then a picture of me with a bad weave. Please don't not Actually I don't. I don't, Sydney, you don't even care about that page. Don't do that. Don't do that right now?

Okay, Well, God bless happy Kwansa canceling Thanksgiving, and uh, don't forget to vote. Okay, yes, do that.

I love that we're talking about Thanksgiving and Kwansa even though this day, this episode comes out the day before Halloween.

Because we are not we're not acknowledging Halloween. Because people need to stop ordering costumes for bezos and you know, do you need to stay in the house and stop giving candy to kids.

It's all bad sending. You're saying all these things from not in your house.

So I think I think I think Scooty Scutiny is going to have a problem with this whole episode me.

Maybe I want Scutney to be a guest Please please.

Pull up, Hey, Scootney, send us your a veil so we can have you come do the podcast. That's crazy that we haven't seen Scutiney. Scutney hasn't come back, come back, scooty and make a review or at least like at us and something. Geez, I think we're friends. Now, stop Scutney. Scotney's been messaging us on the unofficial expert instagram Sindy, are you? Are you checking the messages on that thing?

They?

Wait? No, their messages.

Let's see Wait what did Scutney say? Did Scotney actually message you?

I don't know. I'm not again dogged into the unofficial expert page.

Sorry, okay, true, I'm.

Like, you gotta check the message requests and the actual messages that we get. Someone wroach.

October ninth, Nora Rickman. Heyboo, guys. So I'm a college senior in engineering and already have a full time job secure flex and it's a white woman. A wow, And I want to know your best advice on starting a podcast. I've always wanted to start one and one and one would love some advice from professionals. Hmm, Marie, you want to hand that or I'll hand it over to you.

This you want to answer that? Sure? What's your name? Norma? Yeah, Norah. Here's my advice about starting a podcast. Start the podcast and then don't start a separate page on Instagram for it, because then you gotta come. You gotta control chime. So from my heart to your heart, I'm gonna tell you right now, engineering sweetie Boo boo, keep everything on your main Instagram page.

With this information. This is this is gold.

Okay, hold on, there's somebody else. Somebody else wrote something. Okay, mm hm they yeah last week this was October October seventeen and fourth, No, this is October seventeenth.

I got it. Okay, last week's episode was everything. I laughed so hard I had to replay it after a bad date I had, just because I knew it would work. Love you ladies. Okay, what episode came out before the seventeenth Let me look.

That was before the d nasty episode. I forget what we talked about.

Yeah, I forgot Dusty, Dusty Denim, Dead Tooth. Yeah yeah, okay, can I here's an update on Dusty Denim and Dead Tooth. The person that I was dating listened to the episode and said, I'm not allowed to wear those sneakers when I'm not with him. So that's the update on Dusty dmims and Dead Tooth. He said, those shoes are not allowed to leave the house if I'm not with you. I like that. That sounded really hot.

Said Okay, so someone wrote us on Friday News Coosa, you guys should check out micro needling. It's way better than botox and affordable, but most of all, it's just so much better. I personally do it, and my pores are seriously gone and the line smooth out then having a stiff face. Okay, we're gonna go to your page and see your face up.

Oh oh okay, No, she looks good. But I think I want to know your age because I really just can't tell you. Just look you just I think she's Latin?

Is it?

Is it a beige?

Oh?

Okay, Latin X or Native American? I'm I'm not for sure. I make it if American. Okay. Wait, somebody sent me a message on Friday about botox as well. Okay, they said, tell your friends thinking about botox that they need to try Derma Roller. It truly changed my life.

I use zero point twenty five millimeters to start and research a treatment that works best for your skin goals, but the little roller works cists the best thing that has changed my life.

This quarantine is ten dollars on Amazon. Spend your coin on the chemical treatment. Ah A works for me.

Yeah, But I think the problem is is that, uh, the issue with the derma is like you gotta do it really, really like clean because you're putting holes in your face, and then you got to make sure the instrument is clean, and you got to make sure you're cleaning your flate face because I've seen a lot of pictures of people who've done it and got really infected.

Ew. You canet infect it all right, that's nasty. Okay, okay, wait, I have another one. Oh. This is Ray Raynaldough. I remember him. I remember him.

Hey, ladies and Andrew, my name is Ronaldo. I've been listening to the pod since day one with PD and seeing the Ladies live at Karma before that. Anyway, longtime listener, first time caller, you get the gist. I was just reaching out, uh to you all, because I was listening to a recent episode with d Nasty and Marie mentioned needing a carpenter.

Well, that's exactly what I do.

All custom pieces made out of real wood and always an aspect of art added in as well.

Beds, tables, desk dressers, et cetera. Check out my page.

I can pretty much make anything out of wood and would love to create a real work of art for Marie or any of you who are looking. Okay, thank you for your time, keep doing what you do on the pod, Sydney and Cook and Marie's Instagram videos which I love.

Okay in parentheses, wow, okay, cool, Okay, Well, I forgot what I said I needed built. But uh, I'm also trying not to spend any more money on my house. I'm gonna get some wall hooks and a shoe and then that's it. I'm not spending no more money. Oh and some frames and maybe like three more plants, but that's it. I'm not spending no more money after that. But thank you so much, Ray, I do remember you.

So I really feel like that's that's probably one of your guests.

Probably sounds like a deflection right there, and the hoosers.

I'm gonna follow back, and then I am going to repost.

Thank gorgeous. I love this for us. Okay, Well, my laptop is about to die, and I do need to watch the season finale of Lovecraft, so I'm gonna do that. No, I haven't done that. Please don't ruin it for me. I know you love a spoiler. And it was good to see you guys today. I mean, Sydney is fully in the dark now. I turned my lights off to hold on to me. No, let me turn my light off too, and off. Please turn your lights off as well. Back, Yes,

This is a fully visual medium.

This podcast, I think it's following me nine inches.

I'm gonna write a new movie. It's gonna be called Bad Dick, also a horror. It's about a dick that comes out of nowhere and brings nothing to the table except chaos. It's a dick that doesn't make you come Bad Dick. Okay, Well, guys, always a pledge.

We're gonna record again later in the week so we don't have to worry about recording next week for election day or whatever. And I'm excited to see your faces again. Yeah, okay, cool? Rate comment, subscribe, leave leave comments under the most recent photo on The Unofficial Expert.

Yes please and send send us Arta.

Hope there will be a link by the time this episode comes out.

I don't know, and we got a way for Sydney to give me the password to the link tree girl. Bye, okay, all right, well bye friends, Love you forever. This has been a Forever Dog production. The Unofficial Expert is executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. Senior producer Tracy Soren, Produced by Andrew mc cover art by Sandy Hoenigg. To listen to this podcast ad free, sign up for Foreverdog Plus at Foreverdogpodcasts dot com slash plus.

Check out video clips of our podcasts on YouTube at YouTube dot com slash Foreverdog Team, and make sure to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook at Foreverdog Team to keep up with all the latest Foreverdog news.