"The TALL Expert" with Leclerc Andre

Hey, Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast with Sydney Marie.

Oh guys, hey gang, Hey doing.

How you doing, Marie?

I'm doing really well.

Actually, you know what, you know what people ask you how you do it and you just say that, but you know you got no money.

Oh yeah, you defin don't have any food fresh out of snack. I just looked three times, you know. The third time You're like, maybe I'll see something that I didn't see before. It was like nope, same old cheese, just mad space in that.

But you know what, we could get some cheesecake after this.

Actually, I mean I have cheesecake in the fridge.

I mean I brought you a milkshake, so I obviously I'm bringing something to the table.

Yeah, diabetes, shut up.

I'm doing great as well. I mean I went to the dentist again this morning.

Twice and you haven't been in like ten years.

Yeah, well, I have to I have sessions, so.

Damn dude, Like that's how bad.

Yeah, well, they gave me the whole lineup of things that I have to do and I have to replace nine fillings.

Yeah I have to re said that on the podcast.

Well I don't care.

Hey, I have the white fillings just in case, just so I want to know, I don't have that metal shit in my mouth.

I got the what is it, resin? I have resin filling.

It's good, all right.

Yeah, so I gotta do that. I gotta have a real canal. I gotta get a cap, I gotta get a deep cleaning. It's gonna come me like five thousand dollars.

I like, how you think that's hilarious. You don't think that's funny.

I was like, it's gonna go to be four thousand dollars, actually five.

But I went back and remember last show, I said that the girl who was giving me X rays has a hickey.

It's a birthmark. So I felt, are you you birthmark? Shame time I didn't. It looked like a damn hickey.

Damn.

So I just want to say, she probably a virgin. She probably never even seen a dick or vagina. Oh no, no, she was leaving right after. She's like, I've got another an appointment. Anyway, she didn't have a hickey, and or she told you it was a birthmark, and you believed her this time because you're dumb. Hickeys go away.

Maybe it's a different hickey.

Shut up, Marie, do it. When's the last time you had a hickey?

How old am I?

How old are you? That's a good motherfucking question.

Divided by nineteen ninety three?

Have you ever had a hickey before? Yes, Sidney, I'm a millennial. I feel like I feel like Canlen Keller had hickeys? Okay, I feel like everybody in the history of next has had a hickey.

Stevie Wonder probably got hickey right now. Actually that's kind of Gross's come on, who.

Is sucking on Stevie Wonder's neck? Somebody who has to move that one dread to the side.

Yo, somebody that's moving at one thin left.

Let me tell you, when you die, there's could be mad people like, yes it was time.

It was time for her to die.

Listen, When I die, I want you to come in with like the baby girl T shirts and all that, like the airbrushed face stuff.

And then I want you guys to just like, you know, roast the dead. Baddy just want to be a rope.

I'm like, that's the way they chose.

No, when I die, I want to be buried in corn roads. You have I no you're gonna.

Have irisins underneath that, like you gonna have a wig on top and you can.

I want straight up corn roads and then like maybe like a little but at the bottom, you know what I mean, because that's classic. Well I won't be at that, because I won't be at that funeral. Just let you know, because that's Haitian.

No you go there.

I want to make sure they put a blue eyeshot on you and a nice and a nice caty. I want you to have a nice cat eye. Oh yeah, I gotta have a cat I want to die otherwise the caska gotta be closed. And when I die, I just want to make sure you give me a bang. That's all I ask. And a bang like a no, no, no, I want like a Chinese bang.

I want like a blunt, very blunt, like okay, all right, make sure you take care of it, but I don't have to.

Do it myself.

Can it be a clip on bangs? Like a like a synthetic bang? Was it gonna be human hair? Is what I'm asking?

Would you give your mother a clip on bang? My mom doesn't do bangs. My mom has Senegalese twists. Anyway, Maria what the hell were your expert in? That's what you start with you, because I'm still thinking about what all things I killed this week? I'm an expert in wearing white jeans. Okay, deity, Okay, First of all, where are these genes from? First of all, I got the knees out.

You do, and it's cloudy af outside.

Well, Alexa is a damn lie, That's what it is. She told me it was going to be like Sonny and seventy five.

She lied. You know, when people tell you what the weather is going to be, you can look outside and see what it is, right Like, you don't have any windows in that terrible apartment.

Anyways, I have white jeans on, and I have a white bodysuit as well. I was about to kill it today on a Thursday.

They wasn't.

I was like, yoa the weekend is coming up. Let me show you all to prelude to the weekend, the prolong.

The pre regular. Yo.

Let me show these holes how you went to a dentists all in all at eight am, nigga, I was there all everybody was looking like yo, what?

First of all, I wasn't even open. I got there at seven point thirty. Why was you so early to you really a mad tea? Yeah, any sessions just in case they needed to extract some shit. I was like, let me get there early. So anyway, I get there and it's nothing but poor people in the lobby because they can't go to the dentist office.

Yet we had to wait until like eight ten.

So I'm in there and I'm telling you, the dustiest, the oldest men were just like googling my like looking at like my body, like it was the best body they ever seen.

I was like, these niggas got glaucoma. They can't see. They think I have an ass like they was looking at because I was like standing. I couldn't sit because I just pointed out at the dentist. You're trying to get them feelings. I was arching out back. I was arching out buck you.

He says, gonna cost five thousand dollars.

You're trying to get some old cor man I wanna spend his medicaid. Listen when I tell you, I let my Metro card fall in front of me and I just dipped it low and.

Pick it up slow. You bending.

You're doing the most in these white jeans and so then finally I put my jacket down and I sat down because I was like, I gotta sit. I'm gonna be here for a while. And a guy was eating a bagel next to me.

The dude that the dentist was eating a bagel was eating a Bold because he's messy, that's Bold. This dude took the other half of the bagel and he's like, you want it. I was like, that ass, this ass is fat enough to get not the whole bagel, but the aff of it.

Was it butter of cream cheese?

Nope, it was dry as if it was nothing on the bagel, nothing on that. He was giving me a dry ass. That's why he gave it to you, because he was like, this wasn't a mistake. I shouldn't be here right here, shut up bitch.

Anyway, So yeah, people were looking at me left and right. I was getting mad compliments in the NYU Dentistry and even even one of the student aids was like those are cute.

I was like, thank you everything. Listen, a seventeen year old girl told you that your pants were cute, and then she cleaned your teeth, like are those being wet seal?

Are they all those wet seal Oh those Charlotte Ruth.

I want to tell you right now, your flies down open, oh wow exposed.

Well, our guests don't need to know you.

That will.

Well that's why I think they took one hundred dollars off my bill. No, they took one hundred dollars off. But they was like, Yo, we're gonna make all of the money for the year in his mouth, Yo, one hundred dollars comp what that what that mouth do?

Yeah?

That mouth need to go to the dentist. That's what was going on.

So, yeah, I wore the white jeans, got half a bagel, ab say, I didn't eat it, but I didn't want to be rude.

He was an older guy.

You know.

You know when your uncles give you something, you just take it.

No, some people, he really creepy uncle in his face.

You know when your uncle give you something, you just take it and then you know, hide for like thirty years and be like uncle Raymond touched me. Wow, you know what, we just gonna shift gears and talk about me for a minute. Because Sydney's dealing with some left time some left time movie stuff right now, and that is I just want to say on the record, my uncle's never touched me.

They just looked. They didn't even there was nothing. They just watched.

Yo, they would listen, there was nothing to look at. They always put me on some extra extra large white d's. I didn't even get pajamas they put me in. It went down to the flow. I had a shirt dress on for pajamas.

I mean, you don't want to do that as a kid, though. See you didn't have you walking around but ass naked. No, no, why would they do that?

That's what I'm saying.

Anyway, Citney, thank you for eating up so much time up top. Luckily for you, I wasn't really an expert at much this week. I was an expert at networking. And what that means is I would go to a show, kill it and then tell people to listen to the podcast. Oh there it is. Hopefully all those lovely white women are listening right now. There it is Amber, Alison, Katie Rosa's a bunch of people that I met the other

Listen bitched carts two cards. First of all, I've spent my heart on money. If you don't put it on the train, I dere'serve more than.

They fell out of my purse and I didn't want to miss my step, so I left them on the ground.

So next time, I'm gonna be better next So.

You are good at networking, I'll see you out here at these clubs or whatever, just taking drinks for free and not saying thank you, and be like, yeah, it comes to the show.

That's that's not true.

I always say thank you when somebody short or ugly does be a drink.

I thank you. You want my phone number so.

We can be friends, and then I'll give them the number, and then the last digit will be wrong. Oh you know what, I probably shouldn't say that, because I gave the dude the information of the podcast.

Yeah, and remember the guy last week that I gave the business card to and.

Then he ended up hitting you up and then saying, hey, it was nice to meeting you. Put on my DMS and was like so nice to meet you. Oh I saw you at checkers and I was like, no, you didn't because I don't go there, and he was.

Like, uh, you know what it was your You had locks, you.

Were slim, and I was like, no, you're on Instagram.

You see that. I didn't have a single photo with locks. And he was like, oh, you.

Know it was your homegirl on the couch and I was like, you knew it wasn't me and he was like no, I really honestly did not know. Like he doesn't know how Instagram photos were. Did he slide in your dams? I haven't even checked, but I feel like shit that, like he'd hit me up. I gave him a business card. He's like, you know what, I feel like I'm not gonna win with this one. With the Lauren hill Lock Photlock's bitch, I'm gonna hit that. Uh that natural hair queen of Marie Boo.

I was like blocked.

I hope he's listening to the podcast.

Thank you Rock Sheet shout out to Jarnell. Hey, Darnell Uh.

I feel like our guest today is somebody who probably does not get curved and ever like her. I can't see why somebody would, but I mean, your ankles are out and I really don't respect. How long can you have you introduce this person before you go in on his uh his long angles. Yes, our expert today is he's a comedian.

He's uh, he's just an all like.

He's a film you're a filmmaker too, right, he's you got those amateur pornos, the world star pornos.

Yes, he's a photographer.

He's a he's a great dude. His name is uh oh, and he is our tall experts. Yes, this is give it up for the clerk, Andre.

Yeah, you hear that void. Change that fucking voice. Man, don't give me that podcast, give me a real ship.

That's his real voice.

This is my room autumn voice.

Yo.

Is everybody moist listening.

For you ladies?

Moist voice?

Yeah, let's talk about.

I think y'all just heard yourselves for so long that hearing the man?

Wow?

Wow?

Did he say that we're dry? That the push black cob webs? Is that what you're saying?

Spoken like a tall so clerk, let's just go.

We're just gonna critique the outfit from head to toe tode head. You have won a Sperry boat shoe socks or no socks, no socks, socks, okay, like a dainty ballet. So you do have some black friends because you got.

I thought you didn't have one socks, that's how little of them. Wow.

Okay, let me see your feet. Take it out.

You're really about to show you.

Let me see your toes.

Let me see it. They're good. They're beautiful.

Wow.

Wow, like I've never seen the light skins. My god. Wow beautiful.

Yo.

Your toes look like fingers, like a nice hand.

Wow.

Because anybody sucked your toes before, because I wouldn't, But like, they're beautiful. I just want to shake your foot right now, like.

So much foot torn in here right now?

Yo, let me hold on, Sidney, don't you take it out for the rest of the Yo.

Sidney's creepy one does the feet? She all right? Well we lost Sidney.

Listen, you can you can make some good money on a seeking arrangements. My man, there's somebody who would want to do some crazy things in them feet.

And you ain't got no corns on a pinch.

Wow.

That mean you wear shoes your size? What Sidney? Let me You can't even we can't even get away from his feet. He's wearing a distressed uh bleated.

Wash Yeah no, that's not acid like bleached.

Uh.

This is arts and craft jeans you got going on here?

No, it's like like a cropped pant. What size pants do you wear? Like, what's the I don't know how men's pans wear work, but like.

What thirty four?

Thirty four, thirty thirty four? I feel like that sounds I feel like it seems small. No, like a thirty four in like your waist and the length is the same length.

It's not. That's not how it works.

I think that that's how it worked.

But yeah, my end scene is thirty four or thirty six. If I can find him at thirty six, it's hard to find you.

Hear that, ladies, if you can find at thirty.

Clerk, how told are you?

I'm six six?

That lady six six six?

Yeah?

It six six? Like what what I mean?

We probably should have googled some people who are also sixty six, But Michael Jordan's six I was going to That was one of my freaking questions, all right, said, moving on, who else is six six?

Uh? I don't know Michael Jordan. You just stopped at Michael Jordan.

You're like, I'm all fit, wait, ch quill on you like he's like seven twelve?

Really is the seventh foot yeah.

How did anybody have sex with him?

Uh?

You know, I'm really desperately. Just please don't crush me when you're done. Okay, that's cool. So but does it Do you play basketball?

Or did you play basketball? I wasn't particularly good.

I mean I could see that you feel like you look, you know, like you you don't want any scratches on your body.

I just wasn't trying to get corns on my feet.

I know you, honestly, And I could tell like you don't even play rugby or anything, no lacrosse or nothing. He did roll to the studio. The studio is my house. He rolled to the studio in a with a longboard. He had a longboard on six ' six on a skateboard.

How does that look on the street.

Okay, I'm living my life.

I just I feel like I've never seen a tall person on a skateboard before.

Tony Hawk is like six four.

Tony Hawk, White, Tony Hawk, you know.

Not to be confused with the Mexican Tony.

In two thousand and seven, I had a drug dealer named Tony Hawk and he was black.

So yeah, but that was in his real name.

Okay, yeah, you were and you have like a peach colored shirt on as well.

It's beautiful. His skin looks great.

You sound like you want the clerk. For those of y'all who are listening, micles like the stretched out version of a guess that we had. He was our light skin expert like you do.

You guys look like you guys could be related. And I didn't realize that until I saw you guys together the other day.

I've never gotten that.

Well, you guys were standing next to each other and I was like, I can kind of see it.

You guys kind of resemble.

I mean, if length Ston's was your height and had your body, wow, it would be you would gives about to.

I'm gonna stop talking about and no more, no more shots fired.

Well I'm going to continue to anyway. So look what what're the hell do you shot? You got this long ass body where you buy your clothes from? Obviously not Abercrombie. I mean, actually maybe.

Like they might be.

I don't even know. I love a little zar Man long.

I'd be careful sometimes they should fall apart.

Well, I mean it's just a fancy it really is. Yeah, what kind of genes do you normally get?

There?

You only have two. Okay, came that seems like it would look nice for me, But we're the clerk. Got a good back. Where you get this hike from? Is your like? Are your parents tall? No? My parents aren't tall. My mom is about five five, my dadsy wow, So where the hell all is from? My grandma is tall?

Really?

I mean, I don't know where. I know, like, baldness is like a gene from the mother's side. Where does from? I don't know, you know what.

I like to think that my whole family would have been tall if they were raised in America.

My parents from Haiti, so.

They have all the more patient both into the spectrum. It was really black black in the lights. The black black in the light skin has perfect jeans, though.

She does her parents are beautiful as well.

I mean, I do what I can with what I have, you know, and I'm just you know, good old American black, and I got great jeans as well.

Guys, culture being culture though my cultures checkers.

I'm just fine. Don't worry about me. Then he does need a lot of checkers. So you got siblings or your siblings tall?

I got my younger brothers six four, My older.

Brother damn, the baby is taller than Do you have a fu brother's cuter? Na? Do they look like you or me? They have.

Faceless you're not calling your brothers a man attractive clerk as an attractive man.

You can't give another man a problem.

I can.

Yeah, I mean you got your classical souse, so you might as well.

They do, all right, they do?

What does that mean?

Let's talk about how you do? Because women love a tall man? Right.

There's a whole song called I wish I was a little bit taller? Wasn't the name of the said, there's a whole song called was a little bit? I mean he starts off of top talking.

About how short he is speacause short and no they don't have what then? But lookay you're a tall man.

And he said, that's my little brother.

Yeah, how is he?

He's twenty nine?

Okay, he's not little. Thirty one okay, ladies, So he's six six, he's thirty one years old. He's got a kid, he got no kid. You don't live in his mother, He don't live at his clund.

His apartment.

You have a nice apartment. It's pre wore dog. Yeah, you do have a dog. That's something that dog that is not mess. He's like, now, God, he never heard shirt dog weigh.

He weighed sixty five pounds.

He looked like he weighed a hundred. The quirk had the Arthur fist.

He was.

Talking about his dog.

Let I got a good dog.

He's not loud.

He's a loud I'm saying. When I say he's loud, I mean like he drew like he's he breathes loud. He's like, okay, So back to back to how well, hold on, hold on, hold on?

You have that dogs leap in the.

Bed with you?

Black? I mean you're black and you almost hit me with her dog light skin Black.

I got white sheets.

I can't let the dog in my bag in the light skin. Hell, why do you have just all your sheets are white? The whole play that.

You got the.

Like Diddy exclusive to rock version, you got to Shawn John sheets.

Wait, so how do you deal with women? Like do you have to come up to them? Do you have to spend game? You just stand there looking like a tree and they'll be like, Hi, I saw that's not.

You anyway, what are you doing here?

Let's get out of here. So you know, talk about that women coming up to you and spitting game or not.

Sometimes but not a lot. I don't get it more and I think.

You know, it's just posting and not getting I only.

Get a post by girls after shows.

That's a great thing. Yeah, it's great. I mean you know what it is.

They might be intimidated before you do your set, and then you're doing it like this niggas regularly.

They're like, is that it?

No?

I mean I think you seem more approachable when you get off the stack.

Yeah. I mean you talk about yourself and you're really.

Nice and like you're you're you are approachable.

I mean a conversation.

I mean if what if the girl's like ideous, you don't shut it down, but your face she'll read like you're not interested. I've seen You've seen that. Yeah, you do have a very like kind of like over face.

That are you? I'm trying to I've.

Seen you in open mics, like back in the day you were like, no, I'm not here for any of this.

This is terrible. Yeah, you won't even engage, but don't be on your phone. But you will also look like yeah, what is it that's just in him?

Yeah.

A lot of times I'm watching comedy. If I'm not into it, I'm not into it. But if a person is talking to me about me, I'm all the ways into it.

On you if you put the jokes that you like, Oh yeah, you like that joke here, that's what real thought for what I'm premise.

So, like, what kind of women are coming to you?

You know I used to get I used to get younger girls. Yeah yeah, I feel like.

Girls closer to forty. You like that, or I'm running a little spectrum right now. You're time like girls over thirty one talking.

Because they say I look young girls.

I mean you still look young. You look I mean, I guess you look about thirty. I would hate to bring it to you because when an older woman is like hitting.

On you, it's like because she wants you to get something from the top shelf.

That's what it is.

I think.

So they want you to.

Fix things around the house. They know you could get a light bulb. I do change light bulbs. Yeah, that's what that's what it's about.

Well, this is done.

I got something in the bathroom.

They know you can put up their curtains and whatnot and then blow their back out. So it's like, have you ever gone home with somebody and you didn't shit on their bed?

Yes? Was it even a bed? Was it an air mattress? Oh? You were homeless? People want beds, are inviting company. You got a lot of nerves in New York.

A lot of people live in Savage. I've been doing a lot of houses.

I'm like, you shouldn't have house guests, should maybe skype.

With the back the wall.

What happens in a situation like that? Uh? You like, well, we just don't have to use your couch.

I mean just like going to.

Sleep all night sleep. I'm not going to try to sleep. So you are you going to stand up spoo even if you spoon I like to.

I'm telling you I'm not doing that.

I slept on a twin in college, and I was going.

Was it a twin extra long? It was a college.

I didn't know, because you won't go to college you in Massachusetts. It was in Massachusetts community college.

Sleep.

She got went to Massachusetts to be a phoenix. So you so what kind of women are you attracted to? Do you like tall girls who like short girls?

I dated every type of girl.

You dated a girl who's tall than sixty? Yeah? No, I don't even I don't ask, but you know, like.

I've dated a relatively tall girl. I've never dated a girl who's like six to one another.

So you like all types. I do like all so the cold Stone, cold Stone Creamery, thirty one flavors.

I'm an equal opportunity employer, basket around anybody.

Okay, what type? But what is your favorite type of girl? My favorite type of girl I like.

I like natural hair, curly.

Hair, usually m city you.

I like him to be sturdy.

I guess we're both. Wait, what do you mean stir like they got good knees. Like, what do you mean strong? Just like like big legs, you know, like Serena Williams type.

Not not strong.

Sturdy weak. You're like, I don't want to be able to fight me.

I don't need to help move my food durable, That's what I'm saying.

Okay, so wow, sturdy in a wheelchair.

Okay, cool. I don't really have a type type. I mean, like the girls I dated, you want to see any consistent.

Which is weird because it's like you're you're tall, you're good looking, like you can get the best of the best if you wanted to, Like I see guys with living trash cans and have like some type of type of woman.

You don't, you're not you ain't got no teeth in the front of your face, and you're telling me.

You have a I think that more so speaks to like men kind of go after whatever they want.

Like you've never seen a good looking, uh dude right with.

The ugly girl? I have, Yes, because I have This is Brooklyn and the.

Over a really good looking dude.

With a black girl. Yes, it usually you're looking do.

I see bad broads with white dudes all the time, But I've never seen like a dude who has the ship together.

That's half of the NFL. Yes, this is true the NFL.

Yeah, but they're usually in shape.

Yeah, but I'm saying this guys guys that look good who have like a basic chick, like if that's a I've seen that.

But if you've see in the NFL they used to came up with her, Yes, when they will stay with a high school sweetheart. You don't never see on her every dwight of the week, but he came up day one. That's the difference. Though.

You don't ever see dudes who like get money.

They twenty eight. Now, like, all right, I'm gonna get a girl. I guess somebody who's not cute. Yeah, you've never seen that. True. Like listening to this right now with sitting in somebody, he don't deserve that. Everybody, literally everybody.

I feel like I don't deserve the person that I need to be a better person.

Yeah, but y'all, I mean you don't. You guys. Look, you guys about understand you sit down on the same level. You guys are the same amount of attractive, relatively right right, You guys are a handsome couple too. Little Wayne sitting in a tree, two queen, two sevens together on the seven train.

Have you ever dated that? Yes?

All day? Yeah, I want to see Marie's line up.

But you know what I'm trying to get around now, right because now I only want to date somebody.

That like, lean here, walk into the room and people gasp, just because.

I've seen couples like that, like real good looking couples when the when they come in and I can't stop standing at them. When I'm on the bus, I'm like, why are y'all on the bus?

Y'all look so good? That's what I want.

I want people to like see me and whoever my next boot is and just be like, Wow, good.

Luck, Marie.

I'm gonna pray pray that. I don't need you to pray for me things that you need to pray for. Don't worry about what I'm doing mad last Okay. But yeah, Like I feel like that's something that women do normally.

Though, women date down all the time because they're like, well, we.

Can upgree I can upgrade him, I can fix him, make him better.

I don't know what women always want to do a build a bear situation. It's like, no, like he's probably gonna stay the same.

Men don't date down. I don't think that's all Men will date down at the ass is fat.

I maybe she got she looked like peanut butter, but her ass like man will.

Date well, we'll find ways to justify the women that we did because like, let's say she's ugly, like yeah, but the head is or.

Like, dudes will make her a final way to justify dating whoever.

I've heard them talk like my brothers one of them, dude like the way that he talks about women, it's hilariously degree.

But women do the same thing. Women be like, yeah, I know he's fat and this, but he got money. So it's like yeah, but when do we really hear that? My friend will be like, well, I love it, like they legit. That's the first thing. Yeah, yeah, I would, I would.

I don't meet that many people like my age that are just dating dudes for money.

Well, because women, yes, friends that you guys that got them, some of them got some question morek boyfriend faces. But what women will never say I'm dating him for money.

They'll be like, he's really nice, he's super sweet, like if a woman exactly because and he does because he knows what he got. But like, listen, if if you're a dude and you was into this and a woman has ever called you sweet.

She would your money. It's super sweet. I mean so nice.

Yeah. I mean when you say somebody has money, just like one hundred thousand dollars money.

Years, no one is saying that.

Also, nobody need here, I mean collectively, maybe me and the clerk might have.

Marie.

You don't say you say you got sixty grand in the bank, resord. I mean that's not half.

She said I got forty. That's what I'm saying right now. But I like, you saved money? No, how you doing money?

I did save money? Yeah? I mean how much do that longboard you got over there? The things a cheap? Those are?

I mean they're not expensive? There two hundred bucks?

I mean he's been in it on sneakers. You know, I'm not okay, You've got the bar.

You got the boat.

You I'm on pediculas. Yo. What's the craziest thing that someone's ever said to you? Anything?

It was like a direct result of your height, Like somebody came up to you on the trend and said something, or someone so you want a plane?

It was like, so you on the Knicks?

People, I always ask me what team I played for? I got that last night, Like what team you played for?

Do you think that's rude?

If it could be loaded, Like, if you're a white dude, just don't ask people if they played basketball, right, But if it's a if it's like a six year old black girl, you can ask me how tall.

It's just it's an innocent question.

But a lot of people just don't understand the implications is assuming that a large athletic black person, you need.

To just say a name of the team and then let them send them free bottles to the table.

You know, I was thinking of I was thinking about actually telling people I just played for the next I would, but then they're gonna look it up and then on the roster they look, they're gonna send the bottles.

Back repoppy cork, just like take that check on poppy courts, split that bill off and make that nigga pass.

Thank you? Can we hold the credit card? Can we? Have you ever said that you work for a team or do you? I've never lied. I've never lied, in said want to be a six six in New York City.

If you're not gonna lie the other perks Okay, yeah, that's what I want to know.

What are the perks of being a tall man dating? Besides dating?

Would I mean when I go out, I never.

I never have a bad seat, like a concert, but everyone behind you did.

They should have got there earlier.

Yo, me, I was at a We were all at that show that Hidden Fences played.

Last week and it is such a super good and I was standing next to the clerk and you just moved my body in front of his body because my hair was blocking everybody behind me.

Look was like, no, you're just gonna slide this rooted the side.

You're not bothering me, you could.

What about getting into places like nightclubs?

They probably No, No, I'm not a girl. They only do that for girls.

And with money.

No, but also like looked like models. That's why you need to start lying about the team that you played for.

No. Yeah, they do it for guys who look like models, that look like promotors.

You look like you could be.

I've never seen that before. You never seen somebody say clean away and you got some pretty niggas coming.

They man both.

Shoes comes not usually get had on.

Come on, I've never seen I don't think I've never seen that either.

I mean i've seen it.

I've seen it.

If you just said you're like a promoter, like you look like you're stylish, I don't.

No, I don't.

I don't viget any love at the club from like the door, Oh.

Because you come in and you're taller than the bouncers and they're like, he's gonna be a problem, and he lets it.

And then when you have your lother jacket on, they're like, you gotta wait. We're all booked up tonight. Private private event, private event.

I mean, even though every time I've been out in the club and I've seen you there, you look.

Like you had no problem. Why I know people, I know people.

I do know people.

That's what that's the purpose of being a tall man. You you probably know.

To other people who are also like good looking and tall as well. You know, there's no tall pretty nigga alliance. Sure, there's no fraternity of tall pretty niggas.

Out there, tall brother brotherhood. No, that doesn't exist. If it did, I signed up.

So you're saying that she got no tall pretty nigga friends.

No, not one, awesome, really not one. So you're the only one.

I'm the only one, so all of the play all you did also say you.

Only have three friends, but I keep them short.

That's a good one. You're like, I do have three friends, but I keep the crew.

That's crazy.

Maybe just take a picture of other tall what I mean, average people commenting on my pictures? Who's your friend?

I don't need that in my life.

Well, we actually took a picture with you our friend also and another guy, Ryan Lan, and.

We had a picture with just you guys that were.

And another tall guy that was from like Germany, and it was it was a beautiful photo.

I was like, wow, right, so yeah, it was another good talk.

The picture just looked right.

I'm such I'm such a bad judge of height because I'm Ryan. Never seemed tall to me and also never seen that tall to me either. I just but you know what it is, I have a really big sense of self, so I think I'm talld. I feel like I'm like me and I was of the same height like I feel.

I just I don't know.

It's just a complex that I have where I feel like I'm just as bidy as everybody else around me, but.

Like you're like a long tall like you lean, so I feel like you seem tall to me right away. Yeah, when you're thin, you look taller.

I don't do that with six six once and he was real skinny, and he looked like he was like sympathy tall.

Yeah, so yeah, being skinny it makes you look well.

Speaking of skinny, what's your workout?

What you do with your waist?

Me? How many reps you do in? I keep the sample pull push ups, that's it. Yeah.

I look to the gym, but I go to Planet Fitness.

Okay, so you're doing a lot of chests and no leg down.

I'm doing a lot of elliptical.

You I'll ask you only know I'm.

On the yoga mat. I'm doing a real little key ship Planet Fitness. Damn, dude, there's not much you can do right overhead.

Look, I feel like you're too good for plannings.

Like it's just the closest to me.

Yeah, but you're like, oh, I won't be on a twin but you go to planet. Planet Fitness is like the twin matches.

Yeah, everything that warm outside, I just do.

I just go outside and work out. So you do like things that just got out of jail, pull up.

On the stop sign on the stop I go to prof part I'm a classic classic.

He likes, come on, okay, come on now, come come on man.

It's always better to work out outside anyway.

Really, Yeah, I just I like, I'll use the playground by my house. Yes, better.

I mean I'd rather be outside than.

In the stem. Who y'all full in the air. In this neighborhood, we had a park. We got trees two blocks away from your citney, the Saint Bushwick. We got trees here. We aren't talking her about we neither. We have real trees.

You might not.

You might not be able to work out in Bushwick. You know, when you're talking to someone just like naturally, that's a damn expire.

When the haters stock, I mean, y'all, they'll stick together with your hat girl.

Your fans are full of honey mustard. And that checker that you had this morning for breakfast. Citney had checkars for breakfast. Yo. The cort we should die look like do you eat a lot?

I eat a lot?

I cook a lot. What you're cooking? What you making? Like a girl's coming over, she's sturdy and you're trying to cooking for the skate.

Putting some grilled chicken on the George for man, I made them want a little season and on it.

I feel like he might.

Make like the yeah, salmon chick.

How do you make the salmon? You put it up and throw some lemon pieces in.

It, you know, get some garlic, some some basil.

Have you say the words a basil salmon. I've had guys.

I had a guy Julian some carrots for me, So Julian, some cats like in a solace.

No.

I think it's like the way you cut it or something. I don't know.

He called the.

Long Way to Wayne, saying, and don't even know what they need. I heard the nigga say, Juli, let me go ahead and stay down on the podcast.

I'm like, hopefully she's trying to go. She's trying to one up your.

Julian.

You know what he said. He was Martha stewarting it. So wait, let me let me look at that.

At the clerk. Some girls come into the house.

You Julian.

You want Julian some roast beef or none. Yeah, I cooked.

I don't cook the girls off, but I cooked.

You don't cook the girls off, like we don't have company over there for food.

I mean I'll cook if it's like I used to.

Be mere. Wow, here lad so here like listening for the people who are listening to.

This right now, what advice would you give to somebody who's trying to bag a child?

Dude? What should we ladies be doing?

Don't open up the house?

Tall just shredded. We just Julie. Basically, he's falling at Julian. He just shredded some carrots. Yeah, Sidney, he didn't He did it with a knife, though. I hope you didn't give him. I mean you probably gave all your vagina. I was like, you don't even care this niggas getting the message. Do I put my panty? Okay?

If I ha my penny, I'm not gonna bring my outside pennies in this house.

Let me tell you.

He legit.

He gave you some carrot strips, some carrot fries carried sidney.

Shut up. These women are waiting with baby breadth. How do how do women?

How are we supposed to approach a tall drink water waits?

No?

I don't.

He looked like, look like pro dudes, yes, like what if? What if?

Okay?

How do how does how does a short person low to the ground that told you.

To be like she's thirty? She looked like that's some good knees. I think any girl that has a character approach to God is right.

No, man, I've done it, and you know I did it, and.

And and he was like no, like he was like, no, thanks, sir, I'm all good.

Bro.

Definitely like I just wanted sticks.

I didn't come here for your numbers.

This excuse me, ma'am. I just give him some Julian characters. And he definitely was like put off by it.

And he was like you're like aggressive? And I was like, how am I aggressive? I'm just like saying, what's up?

Like, hey, you don't want if the dude's telling.

You you're aggressive, you don't want to talk to him.

That's a dude is easily intimidated by.

So it was clear. I was like, yo, he like flinched when I talk. I was like, I'm not gonna hit you.

Like what the fuck?

Okay, Sydney approached me? How you approached him? What did you say already? Scene? Yeah, what.

I took?

I took a shot up to killow you want to you want to fuck? She was like, hey, you know how Julian, let's go away from me. He's like no, no, no, my character. What's go ahead? Hey, I see you wearing Jordan's you probably look at your mother. Come to my house. You don't have anything. You want to have your own bed for the next you guys? What a dude? And he was like, well, I just usually say hey, like I'm and he was like, well you are? Did you

He was on his longboard, just like you Okay, I've never pushed you guy, saying you could tell.

I could tell. Yeah, I did it one time. I was wasted and I was like, I can do this.

I can go up to this dude, And the whole time he was just looking at me like is this really happening? Like what is I feel like I would feel weird if I went up to a dude and then asked him for his phone number.

I didn't ask for his phone, n bird. I was just talking, chatting him up, you know.

I started to yeah, which I think more people need to do, not just more women.

No, but don't take that l don't take them mal well. In that case, I start random conversations all the time. It doesn't mean that I wanted to take like talk to.

You, yeah, but I just feel like a lot of women are kind of stuck in his mindset that like this dude has to dude taller girls all the time and shrink.

You have to see that.

You have seen a nigga melting, like nigga get out of there and she's done with you. She was done out the gate. Yeah we lost her. Hello, what you mean why are you still rap?

This dude came up to me after a show and he had a man bun and he did not melt at all.

If anything, the more we talked, the taller he stood, and I was like, dude, your hair is.

Up and it's taller than mine. And it looked like please please. But I understand that it takes some time of courage.

Yeah, I mean, I try to be nice.

Dudes are the worst because we'll tell our boys to go over and we'll be laughing the whole time.

Why do y'all set y'all friends up for failure and y'all see a chicken y'all know right away?

Like her man went to the bathroom, right, that's that's one of them up. I bet you can't book that into it.

I bet you. I can't drink for you.

Yeah, you're like, you'll do a bet, and it's like you guys are forty years old.

Are you?

What are the she's all that? Hell are y'all doing y'all betting on vagina for work? Yeah?

Listen, she she just after and has a good night with her man, who may or may not be paying for everything.

I mean, but I've actually I've also seen girls go to the club with a man and then somebody.

Else school her up. I've seen it. Yeah, that person probably was taller than her boyfriend. It was a short dade. No, it was a short guy.

I mean she also was a rapper.

She was a rapper. She was a Rapper's like, when you're done with that broke nigga, come over there. We got bottles and she was got ace of spade. She was like, it's kind of right, Ain't I still got that bottle for me? He's like, are you drinking?

Well, walk over there, come on over here, boo, I'm that top shelf. Hey girl, my boy, it's a nineteen of.

Us, but we got an older space for you to stand back trying to loose with me. All we got is cran brain left.

But yeah, yo, when we were in d C, we went to this tiny, tiny like after hours spot this tiny amar and uh.

It was like legit, thirty of us and the table maybe sat six.

Remember yeah, it was more like four. Hey you're buying tables that after hour.

Let me tell you who was buying bottles. Amina Imani.

It was her birthday weekend and she was feeling real fly amana hour.

She was our frugal experts. Oh, she was not scruggle save money experts.

She brought two bottles of hennessee. I was like, I was like, y'alling.

Got nothing clear here, Like it was just two bottles of head of se let me tell you. Amina walked into the clerk, walked in with her hands in the front and just she just walked herself in like the person who was at the door looking for.

One of her ideas.

She just put her hand was like, excuse me, they know me here and she went up, got her own table, sat down, sat inself.

She said herself. There was no tables available, but somehow, I mean, I found it in space. And she was like two. And then they bought two.

Bottles of heades over and I was like, and there's how many of too many?

A whole million man marches.

But then they bring like they bring like orange juice and cranberry juice.

I'm like, you can't mix this with hennes see. That's disgusting. I was like, I'm just gonna sit here. These ice cubes find a place.

I was like, the bottle of water over here, thank you. And it took it two hours for the bottle.

While I was like, you know what you said, what all looks like a four year old black man. What am I drinking? Hennesseee for no, thank you? What's your what's your kind of drink?

I'm not much of a drinker.

Oh yeah, ladies, he does a drink, So we're gonna put something in yours.

Hey, that's also prey.

Let me buy you a drink. What you haven't like that? I'm gonna just you do.

You having a good chime watching you finish your so you don't drink at all.

I might have a beer or like one drink.

I'm not gonna be that weird dude in the social environment the only person that I drinking.

But I'll take it drink.

See, I don't like that. I think that's terrible. Water would have sliced a live I'm put.

All the.

Soda.

I'm liquor their I was not.

Squitching up my face heavy over there right.

Like another water for you, like little so.

For you, yo, the clerk.

We gotta give you a queens to test your your tall expertise if you are.

I mean, I know, no cousin.

You know John Andrew Andrews pretty tall. I think John is gonna fill out like you.

I mean, you know, we feel that. But I'm saying, like, I'm very hungry. How much you weigh?

I'll wait to five.

And eighteen pounds. Now, there's no way he could be hundred and eighteen. I went one hundred and twenty three. And I'm sure you got them long ass bones in that body. You heard that, ladies, and your bones.

Awful.

Okay, So what was the first question? I didn't write one yet, so you gotta go ahead and bang it out. Mm hm, I don't think of something real quick.

Okay.

So you said Michael Jordan is sixt six right, so can you name three of the celebrities who are taller than six weeks?

Because Liam Neeson.

Liam from Taking Yeah, okay, tall as feet yeah, okay, they don't.

Breathe that hard to the mic. Sorry thinking about I was thinking, because I've met before. I was like, I'm a Google real quick, this is a Google thing. He stalled in six feet? Who else? He looks tall? Montell Jordan is tall, snoop, uncle uncle snoop. Well, yeah, but he looked long and he's very strong. Donald Trump six really looked like a troll. He looked real shorty.

Yeah you look short.

Yeah, he got a bad he got a bad past. Donald Trump looks like he's what you said. He's talled in six feet. He looks like he weighed three hundred pounds.

And his suit stone fit. When you wear baggy clothes, it makes you look like he shrink.

Yes from the Men'shouse recently that Bruce Willis is also tall, so he told me that is he.

Yeah, he looks he has a short face, he looks like a short time.

He looked like Danny DeVito. Yeah, dude, okay, So I feel like that was like four people. Sydney, what was your next talk question?

Who is the tallest person in.

The NBA, in the history of the NBA or the NBA right now?

Now, how about you give us both? I know y'all used to be the tallest person. Yeah, he was like seventy six or seven eight. Yeah, tallest NBA player.

I just agree with that.

Oh you know who due It says a George a Nursian mersh nursham.

Oh he's Romanian.

People play the NBA.

Girl, Yeah, no, no, no no. It says he is one of the two tallest players in the history. But he don't even look like he really played ball. He looked at men be a coach seven feet seven inches.

Yeah, when you look at like the super tall dudes in the NBA and none of them are American.

Yeah. And then the second one was a the knees player table. Wow, what about the tallest woman like in modeling? In modeling? Yeah, would you play at that? A supermodel? Yeah?

That's not really for me.

Yeah, no, I'm just saying what you humble ass? Fuck? That was a great answer.

It's like, it's not for me to decide.

What are you talking about?

What I would most guys would be like, yeah, you know when I'm free, if I was available.

I feel like models aren't like the traditional beauty that we see in models aren't really attracted to noble people. I don't look at models and say, oh, she's so bad. When I see real girls in life, I think they're of man.

That's what all y'all say.

That's true.

It's true. A lot of these models are.

They don't have conventionally pretty faces looking weird. There are because their bodies are bony and.

Their heads are small.

That's what I hear.

But then not be in the places where they're at, and everybody's like they're like falling apart and like trying to get them drinks and doing that. Well, no, I mean it's certain people now, like like what a model is now is different than what a model used to be, right, Like now you just got to be cute and like a jinner or hoodid.

Like those girls are not ugly, but like like legitimate models.

Used to look like they had weird faces and weird white long mals.

Exactly. They have that hangar body and like the long shoulders and then.

You wipe their eyebrows off, they look like.

Exactly.

I mean, come on, I mean yeah, when I see models and I'm like, oh, that's a model, I'm like, I will take a chap work.

That wow for the food that she drinks home after her ship.

And she's thirty.

She got Yeah, you have These models ain't sturdy at all. They real whatever. The episode of sturdy is when.

These big girls pop up on that Instagram they look way better than like the brave girls.

Yeah, but a lot of these models too, are like thirteen fourteen years old, so you shouldn't let anyway.

The lesson is not said, look at that boom. I feel like you just passed all the chests. One more question. Alcohol is the ladder.

A ladder, Yeah, well ladders coming different sides.

It is true.

Really, I felt like there was like a no, there's a little universal one ladder. We could have edited that.

Five minutes early.

Last the standard height of a ladder of.

A of a standard height of a ladder.

I don't I can't answer that quest. What's the answer? Because do you know you just went to home depot dot com. She's about the phone a friend? You want to know who you just asked that question? That was really down. What's something that I told people that you feel? Like most people listening don't know? But the daily like do your needs be bothering you? Like?

But I.

Think, uh, what if?

Anything?

Irks me the most is when people think they can open up a conversation talking about your body.

This is coming from a man, Ladies, do you hear this?

A man is telling me the thing that irks him is when people open up a conversation talking about his body.

Yeah, I mean women all the time. It happens, but it's not okay what men do the women either? Right?

No, it's not right.

No, it never. It's never like people come up to you and they.

Be like, hey, people love talking about your body. And also men do this thing where they have to tell you what they would do with your body, like if they.

Had your milicism. Brother, I'll be six six back in the day.

If I had that, you still be working at home.

Dash.

You are undisciplined, You're just not a very So people love to tell you what they would do with your body.

If I was as tall as this letter, you find out how tall standard letters? Yeah, it's whatever. The first she want to climb aboard.

Yeah, people love telling people. But you can't do that but other people, right, I couldn't just walk home to a girl and ask her how much she weighs or ask her questions like that. But people think it's okay, you look stupid right now?

Yeah, I mean, so you're offended. I'm not offended. It's just something I don't entertain anymore. Well. See, that's the thing.

Like when I was, you know, a couple of years ago, I would always put my tallest friend next to my shortest friend if we were.

Out somewhere, like because I had a friend that was like four feet and every time we went out there was.

A tall dude.

I'm like, joya, joya, come say that to this man that we don't know, and then I would just put them next to each other and laugh and last.

And then when I was somebody who was really tall, I'd find the shortest person in the room and be like, Andrew, Andrew, come say that this lady that we don't know, and then I would just last.

Look like, you're like one of the most humble guests that I've been here. I just feel like you're you're not very confident, but not like you don't gloat about how like awesome we're doing. You know that's the lights can tendencies do this tall you'd be.

I can't wait to interview your roommate. I feel like he's gonna be real old.

Yeah, no, he's humble right now. He's a broken man.

Yeah he's he's handicapped at the moment, but me is back in order ship.

It's not slowing him down.

He's still that's crazy.

Listen if that's why I'm not on tender because you don't you can't tell ladies if the dude legs are broken or not.

I'm not on gender because I'm bready That's what I'm no. I'm just listen, Look like, is this not about me? Asking me question. I've never been on gender. I've never been. I've never done any of the apps.

None of them.

But I mean I was on the chat line when I was a kid. You know, chat line was a game because you move fast. It was a game with me. I just wanted to hear other people voices, like you can't go outside either.

Wait, what's the chat line?

See? That's how old city is, you know, you know, doll, somebody picked up the phone. I feel like the chat line is like a nine hundred numbers No, I think it was eight. You wan to actually call.

Yeah, you have to call up, and then you have to press what group you're gonna be in, and then you a whole bunch of people talking.

And then you would just talking this group. When you said chat line, I looked at that. You met chat room like I was on that. I was on that too, but not really. It's just the one of people you can't see talking over each other.

And then somebody would be really funny like, hey, you you want to you want to talk to her other room?

I'm not sure? And then how do you get to another room? And then you give that person your number?

Yow.

I sound like some stone age dating right this, I'd rather be on Tinder at least I can see your face even.

Yeah, I mean I used to talk to this one dude for like months and his voice was so amazing.

And then finally somebody was like, Yo, that gropuld probably like five hundred house, probably just on a couch. She's not even moving you. They scare that and like, yo a bit to he looks like ship you missing that eye him? Like Yo, you're probably talking to somebody uncle right now, Like I'm Sydney. We're learning so much. We gotta wrap this up.

Okay, But clerk got tall things to do or he's gonna go home and call it tall.

People chat.

The clerk. Where can people find you? What are you doing? You got to show what's your Twitter? Instagram for stuff too?

Yeah, I am the clerk.

You could just send me up. I think that's the same for Instagram. It's just it's I am, like I am legends and the clerk e c l.

Very very hatious.

Yeah, and if you want to, you can find me a project park. I'm doing pull ups. It's a playground.

And you take photos, so you're also doing like like a special if like you know you come with your titties out, you get like headshots.

From I'm not doing photos.

You're like, okay, so I want you to get in a tub with foods roll ups, spread peanut butter on your forehead.

It would be very artistic. And you stop talking of these photographers photographers? So do you have anything coming up where people can catch you? Where can people catch your Like the website?

Yeah, so I'm starting to blog like video series.

I talked to you about that, and yeah, I should be putting up some episodes and I've been working with my equipment make sure that if I put it out.

Yeah, but I think I'm there.

I think it's good, so I.

Can check out that in the next two weeks. It should be the first episode.

It's just you or it's gonna be You're gonna watch it, so you're gonna find out you watch it, and then I'll come back on and.

Then we'll talk about it again.

Where can people find this? It'll be on my YouTube channel. So I am.

Beautiful always would be catching me and Sydney, Dash and Dick every second Saturday at our monthly show at Carmel Lounge the second Saturday of every month. It's a bomb ass comedy show. The clerk is on it several times and killed it. Probably definitely all the panties in the room. Actually, this Saturday is this Saturday Saturday. The show starts at eight o'clock and you can catch me on Instagram at Greezy r e E e z y and then you can catch my YouTube videos at miss Reezy sr ez.

Why Sydney, where you at, girl girl, I'm on the unofficial expert page on Instagram and I'm on Instagram by myself, yes.

Or no? Just to b Yeah, all right, thank you so much, Sydney guys. Go check out them standard heype.

Ladders and n't get to subscribe and comment on this podcast.

Baby. We'll see you guys next week.

Bye.

Yes