"The Sorority Expert" with Catherine Cohen

Hello, me, Me, me, me, me, me.

Me and me.

I think I feel like I sound really good today.

Okay, you too, Marie honestly says, you know, I'm in the streets.

Okay, I am in these voiceover streets.

You don't sound like a bohemian raspitty rhapsody rhapsody.

I don't know what you're drassy rasp raspby.

No, yeah you don't.

You don't sound as horse as usually.

Ah, okay, that's what I But I still feel like there's like a little bit of like gravel there, you know, like a little pebble, a little unbreak hungry. I like there's a little of that. It's sexy, thank you. You need just a little bit, just a little dash, Okay. But you sound a little horse also, I do a little a little morning voice.

Maybe because I've been screaming at them badass kids outside of my fucking window. Are the kids out? Yeah, everybody's out. Kids are out, parents are out.

I need everybody to stay to ass in the house is too much listen, suns out, kids out. Okay, that's what you do when it's nice out. You put your kids on the street and then don't let them come back. Inside until the sun goes down. I don't want to see nobody's kids. I don't care how nice it is. I just don't. It's not about you, Sydney. Think of the community.

We don't have no community. Well, we actually have a community garden. So that's probably why that sounds gross.

In Bushwick, I wouldn't trust those fruits or those vegetables.

Oh my god, we got a little spice. We got a little time. Ye got a little time, a little mint?

Can we talk about time? Yeah? Why is it time? And it's spelled t h y m e. It's time?

Somebody black did it? Somebody somebody white?

Like?

Well, the age is silent, but it's time like t I m E. Yeah. I don't know.

It doesn't I don't get it, but I don't really use it for anything. Is this seasoning that you should be using?

I feel like my mom uses it and I don't know where, but it always makes stuff taste better? Really? Yeah?

Okay, so should I be throwing it on? I feel like she puts it in rice, beef, patty and cheese.

Okay, See that's not I said rice. You said something else. I mean, I can see how you confuse beef patty with rice. It's basically the same thing. Sidney, How are you?

I'm feeling good, you know, I feel like good things are happening coming things of that sort.

You look really great.

Yeah, you're giving me casual like Terry Richardson photo shoot vibes, like my nipples are bad.

Hard, nipples are hard. The shirt isn't real thin. Shirt is real thin and it's white. My nipples are hard. For the guests, now, I wanted to feel.

Like real Hampton's in here, you know, honestly, are you wearing an espadrill?

Do you have on a wedge sand not today?

No?

Okay, do you have a straw bag?

No?

Actually, but I have a mint?

That's not the same. People That feels very jitny. People in the Hamptons don't wear backpacks.

This is like a drawstick string type situation.

Yes, yes, yes, but they don't wear backpacks in the in the Hamptons' you'd be surprised.

It is a label on it. They'll definitely be wearing it.

Sis. They do like Gucci backpack. They do like a straw If you drop it too fast, it will break bag. You know what I mean? Oka like a circle Chanel. Do they use woven bag or or that blue Mendale's brown bag? Do they use that?

I think that all poor people do that. Poor people reuse bags.

Yo.

I used to do. My mother would used to be. My mother used to put my things in a blue Mendale's big bag when I would go to high school.

And she's like, people are gonna think you have money with this. I'm like, no, they're gonna think I'm four. Yeah, only poor people do that.

No, But she's like, no, this is like a prestigious place to shop. So how long would you use bag for oh Man sis till it was like increased and wrinkle. I've been taping the handles.

Honestly, I feel like your mom lied to you. I was like, Ramona, you're doing a lot.

She's like, this is a status a status item, like a brown paper bag. My mom had like a black canvas Lord and Taylor bag. Oh yeah, And I felt like money when I had that one. The toats.

I had never been to Lord and Taylor in my life.

Why would you you were young? Taylor's for an old as woman.

Trying to get some business work clothes, trying to get a blazer with a shoulder pad, Oh my god, a work blazer. I think I just called blazers. No, it's there's a difference between a blazer and a work blazer.

What's a casual blazer? A casual blaze.

There's a blazer that you're like, oh, you know, I want you to think that I'm doing things in the day, but I'm not. And then there's the blazer that no, I've been I've been by the fax machine for weeks.

That's just a blazer. It's different type of blazer.

Son.

Okay, well you guys sound off in the in the comments or send us a message. Is there something with a different types of blazer? One blazer pocket is real, the other one is it's sown shut. Yeah, it's a casual blazer, Sidney, What the hell.

Are you an expert in?

This is?

Oh my god, girl, trusting my instincts. Okay, trusting my instinct good one. So I'm you know, I was at home doing a lot of work or whatever, and I was like, oh, you know what, I want.

To just like make my way down down to Rainbow. I want to go to Rainbow. And I was like, I want to go to you sing the song on the way to Rainbow. I was like, I'm gonna go to Rainbow. But I was like, shut up with a face one should I get done? I was like, I am going to the city. Maybe I should. I was like yeah, but it's like, I'm just going to Rainbow.

Why am I doing that?

I shouldn't do it, but go into the city to go to Rainbow. I didn't even know that there were rainbows in Manhattan there. I thought that was like a Brooklyn queen step Nyland thing, Bronx department stores every versus Wow. Anyway, I was, I trust my instincts.

I was like, no, girl, get done. You're going to listen, You're going out of your house.

Be ready.

You never know your neighborhood. It might be a casting director. You never know.

Okay, be prepared.

Sure. So I had like a little boot on, I have my face, a little little dewey look. You no makeup makeup? Oh? I love a no makeup makeup, like, just eyebrows like everything else.

I was like, I'm just gonna do my eyebrows.

Brows done.

Yeah, okay, uh huh.

So right when I fucking get on the train, I'm feeling good about how I look or whatever, and Then I look up and somebody I hooked up with seven years ago was on the train seven years seven years ago?

Where was I? You know why? Wait? Hold on?

You know why?

I know exactly seven years ago because he told me. Because I had no ID, I would didn't remember him at all. This man was inside me and I could not place the time.

I was like, where were we at your house? My house in a basement, where were we?

But he was like, yeah, don't you remember.

I was like no, you know how terrible it is if you're like I don't know that you've been inside me, but you definitely have been inside me.

And you know where I used to He's like, yeah.

You live you used to live on A one twenty seventh. Then I was like, oh shit, you was in my house? Sis, Well, how did he look? People? People want to know he looks all right, He looked okay, but like I looked amazing okay, and you were going to rainbow. But he didn't know that. He didn't know that. But I was just like, fuck man, Like I thought, after seven years, the person you had sex.

Is dead, Like they don't shouldn't be alive anymore.

I shouldn't be able to see you walking freely in You shouldn't be doing well after me.

Yeah, you're without me.

But imagine if I want to like bare face, straggly, dusty, musty going to Rainbow. Oh my god. He was like, you be looking straggly or dusty. I mean you'd be musty, but you don't be dusty.

But I'm so glad that I looked good.

He's like, oh, somebody was telling me that you do comedy. Now who is this somebody? Who are these others? I don't know.

Girls.

You know, as soon as you get on the Timeout magazine, you out here.

People know who you are.

Shout out to David Goldberg. Yeah. I was just like, oh, why are you on this train, dude.

He's like, yeah, I live in Bushwick. I was like, oh, you have to move, you have to. I can't just see another person that has been inside me.

Oh.

I hate New York. It's too much.

It's so big, but so small it is. It's only swallow when you have sex with people. So you gotta be a nun. Marie. That's why I think you want to hold it up.

Make sure you go like check your look at the map and then see where you want to plan out where you're gonna get.

Honestly, I feel like for the rest of the host Atennial, it just needs to be off the same train line as mine. Like it's gonna be like I'll take the Q into the city or the B into the city. But I just I don't want to transfer trains for Dick. But imagine you.

Being on the train and three of your penises is on the same car.

Oh my god, that's not good.

With faces or name sis, I will pretend I don't see them because I don't remember that.

Oh, but they're gonna come up to you and I'm gonna be like, we where.

You live on Ocean Avenue. Now, I'm gonna be like, I don't have any money, any change, I don't know. I'm listening to my music. Sorrybody. Well, we had a show last night and this guy was like, cause, you know again, I can't remember people's faces. And this guy came up and was like, have you guys started yet? And I was like no, And I couldn't place him, but he looked familiar to me.

And I think it was the dude who came.

To the first show and was like, you have until five pm to chext me. Or I want to ask somebody else out. I think it was that creepy white man that came to the show last night, stayed for a moment and then left because he didn't stay for the whole thing. And I was like, is this the man? I don't know? Girl a band from my vagina?

I don't know. That's why we need security at all times. You know who we are.

We in time My magazine shout out to David Gilbert.

Marie.

What were you an expert in this week? What was I an expert in this week? Honestly, I was an expert at bringing my family together to see a mediocre movie?

What movie was it?

Quiet Place?

I feel some type of way that I wasn't invited to this family gathering.

Well, you're not related to his bye blood. I am related, though you didn't come out of my mom or my aunt's the hyena. Yeah but Jean, but your mom loves me as if I was a daughter. Yeah, my mom just likes all her kids. She don't know.

She likes us as a friend. You're so Haitian, it's ridiculous.

Honestly, that's I'm okay. My mom probably might like you more than like my sisters. Oh my god, I can't wait to come over. I have that black ricega. Wow.

So y'all, y'all went to the movies, and.

The movies I like set it all up.

We went, We did a matinee.

We're all in a group chat together that I had to mute because they beat John. I know you're listening, y'all. Just be y'all be texting too much. And my siter was like, what's the move? Because I hate planning stuff for groups of people, But the reviews for this movie have been so good, so I went. We went to see it at eleven fifteen in the morning.

We get to this theater.

There's three other people there, and my brother's like, oh, I'm gonna be as loud as I want to be.

He got there like a cool ten minutes late. But your brother is loud.

He is like, it doesn't matter if there's three people or five hundred people, He's gonna be loud.

He was like putting all he was performing yesterday. And then my cousin was like, I gotta jump on a call for work and he went out into the hall. We could hear the whole conversation because the movie was called a quiet place.

It's there's no talking in the movie. And he's like, yeah, okay, well what's her?

Okay, what's help, Brian, I'm a beat, like loud screaming. Would you go see that movie? You should have saw I Feel Pretty? That's what I want to see. Oh no, let's go see that. Okay, Well only if we can, madinated, Yeah, let's do it.

You want to do it? Only if you pay for me, Damn, Marie, we have to take the money out the Patreon.

Speaking of I Feel pretty, Yes, today is gore job scours. Oh my god. She's iconic. She is everything that you will want in a performer and a friend, yes, okay, and maybe a lover. In a lover maybe, Oh.

I could see her in the bedroom. Okay.

I feel like you're the type of person to keep like an off the shoulder shirt on while you're having sex, real classy, just like clavicles and vagiant. But she like she peels the whole thing down from the shoulders. She doesn't go over the head, It just goes down and then you touch her.

Don't touch me. Not there, not there, no, no, no, I'm not here.

Okay.

Uh.

Our guest today is a comedian is also a singer, an.

Activist, philanthropist. Yes, sister, a daughter, a mother, and a dad.

Give it up for our sorority expert Catherine Cohen.

God, I'm so thrilled to be here this voice.

Wait, I was motioning earlier because I wanted to know why someone told you they had to text you by five pm.

Okay, So this guy came to the show. We thought he was rich, right, We just thought he.

Had because he had marrols on.

He had on Mars like an ugly but that's like it's a white man, Jordan's pretty much okay, So it's like.

An ugly hiking sneaker that white men wear casually.

I understand, where are you going exactly?

So we thought he had money.

I gave him my number, and then after I give him my number, he like reaches behind the couch and pulls out like art supplies, and I was like, oh, he's an artist's he had a knapsack. But he had been texting me. He had been calling me. He called me a couple of times and I'm like, who now calls in twenty eighteen, Like that's gross. Obviously he's a killer. And he he sent me a text and was like, uh, let's go out. And I was like I had a responded and he was like, you haven't to five pm

I love it.

You can't remember, but you watched your shady So even if you did remember, you would still act like that.

You know. This morning, I was scrolling through Insta and I was like, oh, that person's cute, so I click on him. I was like, oh, I've had sex with him. So people really come back to haunt you in ways you aren't ready.

For follow this person on Instagram still, you know, if you.

See someone like what's there? You kind of click on their pace. No no, no, you're just sort of scrolling through the feed. Maybe they're a friend of a friend.

Of a friend.

I get lost and you're really in it.

You're in it?

Oh god, right off the bat, revealing the crazy.

Oh no, no, no, no, listen, such a great voice does any you.

Know, I was gonna say, I could also be I'm also an expert on vocal health.

You're mentioning, I've been through it. What vocal I mean?

Are there peas there?

So in college I had a vocal polyp, which is like a blister on your vocal cords. So I had to go to vocal therapy.

Blister like herpes?

No her I mean, I'm such a hypochondric. I once was having this meltdown with my singing teacher.

I was like scared that I was going to get HPV in my throat because I obviously have it down below.

Does it Does it shift to the throat?

No?

No.

I was like just feverishly in the deep dark circles of web MD, being like, what if this happens where I'm not allowed to do that anymore.

I was allowed to go on that website.

It should be blocked.

It's not allowed.

Yeah.

Anyways, I had a so I did vocal therapy, and then this past summer I had a vocal hemorrhage.

All of this so disgusting.

That is where your vocal cord it's almost like a bruise, but it like starts bleeding a little bit because you like, and I got it from coughing.

When I was driving on a road trip from I was it was just sort of a perfect storm of being dehydrated, exhausted.

I was so molly.

And I have to say that I was sort of coughing. I acknowledged that I was coughing in a way that was because I wanted someone to say, are you okay?

So you were fake coffee.

I was sort of over coughing. And the Lord, the good Lord, was like, no, bitch, was like, here's going to get it on you. So what happens, wouldn't it?

So that's crazy when you that basically it's almost better because you don't have to do therapy. You basically just have to not talk for an entire week. So I did a week of silence this summer week.

Can you do that?

Remember when I thought I had a bronchitis and.

I just kept screaming, Marie, that hurts me to hear.

I just kept screaming. I was like, I'm going to do all these shows.

Oh my god. Yeah.

So I did a full week of silence. I was an absolute delight to be with. I was just sort of I instead of laughing I would just clap and I would just nod so emphatically that I was like hitting my head on the surfaces left and right.

Did you write notes?

Yeah?

I downloaded this really funny app where like this British woman says what you type.

So it's just like.

Marie, I thought we should do that for a day.

I was a week.

Yeah.

I was out with my boyfriend, Thank you so much to the fans, and I said thing like I'm glad we're having fun even though I can't I can't speak, and it was like, I'm glad we are having fun even though I cannot.

Spake this little thing soever. It's like even though I cannot spake.

Orunds like the sex doll.

Yeah, sort of, what's the app?

This was?

It's just some sort of like text to speech app.

Okay, but I want the British lady.

I think the default is a British.

Woman and you can maybe maybe change.

So you have a man, so you didn't have to go through that alone.

No, I couldn't.

I can't imagine going through it alone. If you didn't have I would have gone completely crazy. I also had this sort of wealthy friend whose parents have a home in summer home in Connecticut, summer home, and I called her.

I was like, I need to go there. So I went with her parents.

She didn't come. It was me and her parents. A weekend of silence in the country.

Damn, Mary, that.

Is some Caucasian day. Do we have anybody we could just call up and be like, I need to get away for I don't have a single friend with a summer home. No summer they barely have. Everyone that I know who has a home lives in that hall. Yeah, with other people, Yeah, several roommates. So let's talk about let's talk about sororities.

Right where I'm coming from?

Where did you go?

So I went to Princeton, Godly, let me tell you this. So that's actually not why I'm an expert, although I want so. Here I'll walk you through it. So I'm from Texas originally, So that's why I know like the sorority, sorority sort of scene. Then when I went to Princeton, they have sort of an unofficial sorority system. Okay, but they also have this thing called eating clubs. What it's

Gentle.

I've never heard of fraternity or sorority as gentle.

They're kind of like these lame there's sort of lame versions of sororities. I was basically in one for like a year and then sort of teetered.

Off, okay and club Yeah, gentle, So how dry was it?

No? No, No, everyone was drunk all the time.

Oh, everybody was drunk all the time.

Yeah, But it was like, you know, you'd go to an event. I would go maybe like once every two months. It wasn't like these are my sisters, this is my life, whereas when you're at ut or whatever in the South, it's like this is my family.

I never leave this house. It's just completely crazy.

Well, you said that you knew a lot about are in Texas, Well, how are those sororities like like in the movies.

It's it's like in the movies.

Like, so my friends from home who were going to these big state schools were prepping for their rush week.

So what is it? What is a rush week?

So when you get on campus, like the week before school starts, you basically have a week where you go to all these events for different sororities to see which one you want to join, and then you go through the rush process, which is I guess, like a series of like interviews, an event and determined and hazeing determine if you're worthy of being.

A surthy Wow, Marie, did you do that?

When you no?

But my roommate Holly did. Oh yeah, she pledged and she her rush week.

She first of all, I feel like she didn't shower for like the entire Oh my god, she had no time. And she they would make her do like really dumb stuff like stay up late and go to the supermarket to buy uh, what's the cereals that have letters alphabet alphabets or something, And they had to like spell stage that's something. They had to like smell something out.

She had to spell something out with like all the o's or something.

And the girls had gone to the Schoopermarket the supermarkets around campus and bought all the alphabet cereal except for one box. So all the girls that were rushing were like, like fighting for this box of cereal.

What that said?

I don't know. She was doing a lot of cocaine too, Okay, okay, you did. She didn't shower for a week, and I would see her and she'd be like, I have it. I have it.

Been to bed in several days and I was like, Holly, you look crazy.

And then she like she do a bump and going class and then she she crossed over or whatever, and she was like, this is great. I love my sisters. And I was like, they sound like they have used you for a week. Yeah.

I feel like one of the craziest things about getting into one of those sororities too, is you have a lums of the sorority write letters like letters of recommendation.

Is if you're like applying to college again.

So my mom was in a sorority and she'll have tons and of the people every year ask her to like write them these letters. Being like Chloe will make an amazing sister, Like I've known her since she was a child. She should be in the family. It's just wild.

What sit wait is your Your mom's still close with her sisters, her sorority sisters.

I think maybe she sees them like once every few years. She works all the time. She doesn't. She's not really like you said to your mother, what she she works? Oh, she's like you have business, bitch, No mother works.

What is your mom's name?

My mom's name is Lisa, Okay, Lisa do She works in oil and gas.

She was a treasurer oil and guests.

Catherine, are you the richest person that's ever sat on this couch? I feel like oil and gas. That doesn't make any sense.

Catherine, she got abu dabi money.

I don't know the full extent of what she does, but I know that she's always flying around, okay, lots of money. So when she's not doing that, she's just at home on the couch, chilling alone. She doesn't want to see anyone.

Frank went flyer miles. So she has near a cashmere snuggie. Your mom doesn't lounge in like poor people clothes.

She lounges in this pair of pajamas that I got her like six years ago, that she wears like every day.

Isn't that the cutest you ever heard?

Yeah, but they're like probably Prada like pajamas.

They're from anthro.

Anthropology is that she's pretty much Prada.

Pretty much tag light on their website. Pretty much Prada.

Okay, so your mother got adjacent. Your mother grew up in the sorority, so.

She Yeah, she's from Houston as well. That's where I grew up.

But you don't have a twang. No no, no, no, no, you went this vocal coach that you went to.

Well, Houston is such a big city, so it's not all like, it's not super twangy. But also, my dad's from New Jersey, so I have influence that Northeast vibe.

Yeah, he's like Jewish like affluent. I feel the affluent from your voice. Oh yeah, fluenza.

Oh my god.

So I wanted to know, like what what drew you to like, oh, the joining one. Yeah, because you got to be a certain type of person to want that well lifestyle.

Yeah, because I felt like I wanted to be a delta and then I was like, no, I don't want to do it. It looks like a lot of work.

Yeah. I think the main thing was just where I grew up, like every single person was in one.

So I just went to school. I was like, oh yeah, I'll join one. And it's a great way to meet people when you don't know anyone.

But then once you is, you don't know anybody when you get there, I know.

But then like when you join a group, then you automatically have people being like this is the thing to go tours. When you're a freshman kind of scrambling, you're like, we're gonna go to the dining hall for like the cookie night, and that's where I want to be.

I want to be at like the party at the club. At the club.

When I first started college, I have like a Von Dutch hat on, I had converse.

I looked so cool. Those white people didn't know what to do. They were like, we need you, you know.

I met seniors immediately the first Von Dutch but like and that Von Dutch trucker hat. They were like you, we need you at the party now we know we know you're going to do ninety nine apples and bananas at the same day. I don't remember ninety nine apples. The liquor Nod went to Princeton. They're drinking.

They don't drink that she's drinking like Gean martiniz or something.

No, we drank just everything inside.

It was. There was no ninety nine apples in there. There's no black people there. That's why she sat there there. They're there, how many if you can count them? Because she literally was like there was Charles and shitake s all right, what did you want to Prinison for?

Uh?

For kicks?

For fun?

For kicks?

My major was English, so for nothing?

Yeah, literally to hang out.

You really went to college for for fun?

Yeah?

When I got in, I was like, oh, I can relax because I was such a psycho in high school about like my grades and stuff.

So when I got I was like, I'm just going to enjoy myself. That's what I did.

First of all, I want to know how wait, how great were your grades to get into Princeton.

They had to be amazing, just the top, just the top.

Like casually, I was the most obnoxious person you've ever met in your life. Like in all my classes, I was just like in the front, like and if I didn't understand me, I would just make this face.

They'd be like explain it, like I was. You would not have liked me at all like.

No one.

No, I was not did you work the lesses? No?

Perfect vision? But thank you?

Oh my god. I just I feel like you were in the front row with like fake glasses, just like yes, just to look smarter. No.

I was just like sort of chubby, like hair tied back in my uniform, like with a scrudge, like a thief.

Yeah it was. And then you came and then you became this and I tried to blossom. No, you definitely blossop's it.

Takes time, you know. I feel like, were you always like hot and cool?

No, bitch serious.

The reason why I have personality and funny is because I used to be like a ragged Oh I saw dust.

I saw a picture you posted of young you and you look fifty years older than you are.

Damn no, wow? Did you podcast and read it?

It was like, don't you think? I mean, you look so young and wow, she said you looked fifty years older than you.

Feel like, that's that's right there.

I was. I was trying to give you a compliment.

Can't we take a step, But she didn't say fifty years old.

She said, fifty years older. You look now so like eighty.

I look eighty.

Fuck you bitch. I feel like it was the bifocals.

I mean, you look at cool eighteen now and then you looked, you know, fifty years older than that pure Well it's forty.

That urban life is like it wears and tears on the children, you know, like you you're working kids hardcore with that urban lifestyle. And when I say urban, it's just like the city, like city life, but you're in the city now and you look younger.

She's saying, because I don't do shit, that's what it is.

I don't have a moist drive, she uses, I do use the thank you guys. Shows up at the show and like a tailored outfit head to toe. It was made for her.

She'll show up in a boot that's a don't listen to Marie first of all. Yeah, but just both come in with a sequence catsuit fun. Yeah, yes, that's for certain shows.

That's for like my show.

You show up to a regular show in a like like a dress blazer, a dressy blazer.

Well, I feel like it's important to put your best foot forward, even if your shoe is from Rainbow.

I really feel like it's important.

Couldn't agree more.

I'm not doing laundry.

That much laundry for the week.

I'm not I'm not getting me in new clothes. You're getting me in repeated outfits.

Iywear, I just rewaar But you always look good, Catherine, Thank you always you always look well put together.

It always looks like you thought about the look.

I do a lot of H and M. Had to tell and then maybe like a fun statement piece, Oh.

And what our statements? Like a bib necklace?

Maybe something you'd find it a thrift, you know what I mean, Like one of those expensive resale shops, like a brooch, like something's old, but it's like eighty dollars, but you're like, it's cool.

Though, I'm gonna buy it.

MM to do a lot of I like that.

Yeah, cool leather jackets.

Yes. So what is your summertime? Like time style?

I don't love the summer. I have to be clear about that.

Really, I really feel like you would thrive in the summer.

My thighs they rub together so much, and it's.

Just so they sell these bands. They're supposed to like put on your thighs. That like is supposed to know that's sad.

I just like to do a little deodorant swipe or something.

Yeah together. Yeah, I just don't.

I don't like being hot, Like I get really moody and difficult.

I can't see you.

One of those people are like, can I speak to the manager?

Oh?

Yeah, I'm always crying on the train because I'm like, how is it this slow?

I'm just like.

When Steve and I get on the train, he knows, oh it's ripped out my ear. He knows that I'm sitting and he's not, and he's just he.

Should always be that.

Yeah, he's a man. Well, when you guys go out on dates and it's like the booth or the chair, do you ask where he want to sit or do you just sit where you want to sit?

No, I get add to it. I want do you look like you do what you want? I think it might be that sorority life? Yeah, low key, I know.

I uh.

I just I want to know more about you as a girlfriend at this point. Oh really, did you did you date while you were in the sorority? Yes, we talk about it.

Okay, this is a good story. Messi's story.

Please.

Yeah I had.

I'm a I'm a horrible girlfriend, but no, I had this amazing boyfriend for a while in college.

And why was he amazing?

He had like money in his like a nice hot tall checking the boxes, you know what I mean? Yes, So I took him to the Theta formal. It's like an event where it doesn't sound fun at all. They get you, they pick you up on campus and like a bus and they take you to this like Sculpture Garden where they had this party set up with like open bar and a dance floor and sta.

So, what was the sorority that you were in?

It was called Theta Theta? What's the colors black and gold?

Black and go?

Yeah?

So I take him to the formal. We have fun, We get really drunk on the way home. The bus like gets lost from the sculpture Garden to campus.

Sounds like scary movie, the opposite of that.

Lost.

Everybody pulled. Everyone's gonna die. He's like, City's like orgy bug Ye kind of whip it out, whip them titties are yo, no flash, everybody.

This does not go that way. I'm like, I have to pee. I've had like a hundred sotas.

I'm like I have to pee so bad, And I'm like, does anyone have something I can pee in like I'm not gonna make it. So this sweet man has this like plat finds like this plastic cup on the floor, your boyfriend, my boyfriend, little solo cook.

Yeah.

Well, so I start peeing in the solo cup. It's broken. There's a know, it was like one of those plastic those clear plastic cups. It like kind of like splits. Sometimes you have to stop, like the cup's broken.

So I have to stop, you know, you can't.

Always coming out.

It don't stop because it's out.

So I then proceed to hold it. We finally get back to campus. I've already developed the UT. I like it's too late. But then because we're so drunk, I'm like, let's have shower sex. Oh, so then we have like I have sex on this UTI, and the next morning I'm just like so much.

Everything's broken when.

You develop a UTI that fast from not.

Something happened, not from not being and then immediately like having sex.

It was just so messy. Okay, it was messy.

And then the next morning I'm like I have to go to the student health center whatever. But then that night I had to like sing in this concert, but I was so uncomfortable that I was like sprinting from the bathroom in between songs.

It was just terrible.

It's a U T I.

It just it just hurts when you pee, but you also feel like you have to pee all the time.

That happened to me.

I got one U T I.

Yeah, I only had got bad the one time, so that's all I.

Up like less bad other times.

So everything down here for me is it's just broken.

Yo.

I had one time because I was I was a junior and I hooked up with a freshman.

And he rabbit penis.

It was.

God it.

I was like, why would you ever have sex with anybody this age? I said, throw them all away in the trash, throw them away. It was like, and I didn't know how to say, like this is garbage. But there was definitely a time where I looked at.

Him like, dude, just hurry up. You were a junior and he was a freshman. Way, I don't know, did he dutch? I don't know, girl, I was just like in a bad place. I had to be in a bad place.

I was having sex with a freshman, honestly, and like he looked like he could play basketball, but also look like he could.

Just be watching basketball.

Almost. I never hooked up with somebody who was younger than me really, like because Marie's been twenty one for like, oh, it's just something that it's just a preference of mine. Like I just I feel like I never hooked because I lost my virginity when I was on my eighteenth birthday, So seventeen eighteen, thank you so much, so just a couple of years ago. And the dude that I lost it to.

Was like, I don't know, he's like twenty four or something like that, he was thirty.

She's lying, no, he was young. But I'm saying that, like I don't have the I don't have the experience of hooking up with an eighteen year old because I don't know what double like.

But I feel like the sex is all bad. It's so like traumatizing. I was traumatized. I was like, I never want to have any type of penis like this ever again.

Jack.

And now I'm a lesbian, so it's great, Yea, It's like I literally will never have that.

I mean, but you got you skipped like ten years of like thanks for sexual wow, like you were you were working these streets. Shut the fuck up. Okay, thank you, Catherine. Were you working these streets?

Oh?

Yes, let's talk about it's all over the place. I feel like it's hard to tell. You can't always know if someone's going to be good at sex.

No, And sometimes you're surprised in a good way.

You're like, oh my god, you yeah, And then sometimes it's it's so easy to be better than this.

Yeah.

But even if they are good, then they start talking and you're like, oh, man, to talk some of them, just the conversation.

Of the things that oh.

No, no, no, no, no, no no, it's not worth.

Conversations. I know these business blazers. I guess we're gonna talk. Well.

I hooked up with this girl that was like, I thought she was cool. I thought she was hot.

And then she came back to my place and I could tell like she was nervous, and I was like, listen, I'm not the best at this either.

It's okay, like we don't need to like act cool. But then she started talking like throughout the whole thing, and I was like, okay, but.

What was she saying. Was she like asking you if you liked it or if it was like it was like dirty talk slash conversational talk.

No, what kind of conversational talk.

It was kind of like so like I felt like tonight was really good, right, and I was like what it was like, No, come on, no fish?

I was like, no, thank you.

Just can we just quietly do this and be awkward and just be in the awkwardness and that's it.

But I feel like if you're having sex with a woman, you're going to be talking to them because women are like, what are you thinking about right now? No, how are you feeling? Are you gonna callmulator? No, it's not like that.

I think she just was very weird and awkward.

But also we were really drunk, so it was kind of like it was what was attracting you to her in the first place.

Yellow shots?

Okay, yellow shots? Did you have a lot of that sorties?

Did you have like just drinks so you were just like, what the fuck am I doing?

Yeah?

All kinds of bowls full of punches.

Because balls are bad because you could get like her piece from that, oh god, because yeah, because you're like sharing it's like a big it's like a big bowl of drink.

That people a bowl.

No, I thought a bowl. I thought they were like you were scooping the cup into the bowl.

You were just drinking out the bowl, thinking like a fish bowl, like you know how for apples in there? You have like several straws. Oh no, not that, that's what I'm thinking. She's not talking about Dallas bdq's okay, Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I thought.

It's a house party.

There's bowls of punch dunk, and you were okay with these balls even though there's like people, there's predators out there doing like I was so dumb.

I don't remember. I don't remember. I just wanted people to like me. I just wanted people to want to hook up with me. I was doing it all. I wasn't this you know, confident, just the.

That you are.

Yes, no, no, no. So my question is, did you ever like go to a party where you did too much and woke up one day and you were like, because we've all been to parties when you drink too much, and then you're like, well, what happened? Did you ever do that?

Like at a sorority party?

Refers that was like every weekend in college.

And then you look and.

After I, yess, I've done that all the time.

Oh well, actually, what's interesting, So because I'm this is dark since I'm from Houston and I was went to these like Christian schools and I got really into my youth group, and I was like, I went to this like evangelical camp in Arkansas, and I was convinced I was like saving myself for marriage growing up.

I'm sorry.

It actually was good because.

That meant that throughout college I was kissing everyone, but I wasn't always spending the night until I got the boyfriend and then everything went out the window. But I think it protected me even though it also stunted my growth.

Hmmm. I don't think that you gotta just I didn't go through a whole phase in college. I don't think that you have to bang everybody in college. I don't think it stunted your growth.

No, I just mean like it meant like the shame and everything that you have to get over once you're when you've been raised in that environment, it had.

No shame, none shame. I think I still kind of had some shame.

I think so too, Marie.

Let's dive in. Yeah, I mean, were you raised religious?

Yeah, my parents are pretty religious, so religious, extra religious, so Mauric shouldn't even be my friend with my gay ass, Like I'd be like sitting in her girlfriend and my mom's like her.

Girlfriend, Like my mom, do you talk about like sex stuff on stage?

No sex at all? Girl.

We literally this is four years of like us being almost together almost every day.

We finally divulged a little bit.

I still don't know ship. Yes, it's because this is my whole year. It's the whole you need that. But I'm just going through my whole face and it's not even really a whole phase. It's real dry. I'm like to get through you I do.

Cydny's like, well, it's gonna get warm out so you can just people are gonna go nuts.

I'm excited for the summer because I feel like that you're gonna just be going on dates. And then there's like the frying pan. You've ever been to the frying pan?

Where's it's It's on the West Side Highway and it's like.

It's on the highway.

It's it's like the pier. It's by the pier.

It's like a it's like a docked boat and you can have like oyster Yeah, and then like a whole bunch of people like after where people go and like people have like white.

Wine and beers and it's a it's a cool place to be the boat like oysters and get drunk on and meet people and be packed. There's like a way some people like wait to get on this day. It was the last time you went to the frying pan, dude, because it might have been two thousand and eight, for all we know, it could have been before the recession.

Honestly, I think I went when I was wearing no juicy couturs wetpants.

You went to the West Side Highway in a juicy guitar shoa.

But it was so many people and so many dudes, and I was like, Marie, I really feel like you could thrive here.

Yeah, but that was like mad years ago. I still feel like it's Catherine.

I mean, you're you're in a relationship, but I feel like we can take this trip and just like see what's out there for me.

I would love to.

I want to pick some I don't want to pick somebody for you, but I just want you.

I also don't want you to pick somebody for me. She's gonna be like, look at him, he's all his teeth and I'm gonna be like, but he's also a small person, Like.

To have a ho face, you have to want that face. You can't force it.

She's not forcing it. I think you've forced me. Oh, I don't force anything. No, I feel like you know you're I feel like you're easing into it. But you're also picky as hell. What I feel like? What? That's good?

That's good.

You gotta be picky.

I mean, I don't want to sleep with a troll for years.

I know, I'm like, I don't need to go there. We've done it for.

Both, for everyone. Honestly, it's as a friend. I feel like you've you've been through it just being my friend, Katherine. What's the grossest person you ever hooked up?

Like?

Whoa, yeah, let's do that.

Oh god, there's so many. I'm trying to think, like what a good story would be to tell I picked up with someone like in the bathroom of a hotel that like I classy, No, it wasn't Who's hotel? That it was my twentieth birthday.

So you were in wait classy classy?

No, I wish it was. Don't remember. That's why I I have no no memory of it.

Well, I think the thing about memory is like when you get when you get older, you lose it, and it's sometimes it has nothing to do with just a drink, and it's just you wouldn't remember anything exactly. She was twenty. There's sober time that was like three years ago exactly, thank you.

So honestly, it's just I'm bad at memory, like right now, like anything that happened in college, it had to be so prominent that I that that's the only way I can remember.

I can't.

Yeah, I can't remember what happened last week, bitch, Like how the hell am I supposed to remember from like when I was twenty.

I also like I'm not good at having sex in like fun places. It's like, no, I want to be laying down, like I'm not going to come if I'm like standing against a wall.

I don't sitting on the sink. No. So I feel like in this bathroom, I was like trying to like lay.

On the floor, lay on the floor.

The hotel bathroom, Catharine.

It's all where I feel like I was better than that I was young.

Your mother in gas and oil, okay, gas and oil. I hope no one listens to everyone is listening. Literally everybody, thousands of people. Catherine, you're here for sorority. I feel like there's some more stories.

I feel like I'm unraveling. What's the What was the pledge process like for your Let.

Me remember mine was really mild. It was just like people giving me cupcakes and me getting people cupcakes.

That's it.

I had to wear like this crazy penguin costume one night when we went out, and I that was I famous, like made out with someone on this pool table in this penguin costume and like everyone saw and was like laughing about it.

But I didn't know they were laughing at me. Anyways, that guy's gay now, so.

Oh my god, I was gay. Was like, hey, sir, you know and you were like hi, and he was like, oh why. But I don't understand about sorties and fraternities. Why is what is the hazing process about? Why it about humiliating people? Why would you want to bring people in by humiliating them because it's funny to us?

Is it?

If I'm already in it and I've already been hazed, and I'm gonna haze the crap out of you? Okay?

I want to make this clear I don't think anyone should be in a sorority or a fraternity.

I think they're insane. I think they're so stupid.

I think that people without interests want to meet people and they find that doing shitty things will bring them together, which I think if you go through a shared experience, maybe it does.

But it's based on nothing. It's based on no true part of yourself.

But it's all.

But they they're really big on like the sisterhood, the brotherhood. Like what I I'm I don't get it.

People just want to belong.

Well, what are the benefits of being in a sorority? Yeah, what's the benefits? It's like after college, it's like you'll get a job because yeah.

Also, and it's like what, no, I think if you're in like a big legit one, then you do have connections like, oh, the governor of Texas or whatever. It was like in my fraternity, so I can get a job. Like I think there are a lot of connections like that.

Yeah, but if I text the governor, or, if I send a letter or an email to the governor of Texas, and I'm like, oh, I was in this frat or the sorority, he's gonna be like, cool, let me write you a letter.

Probably they take it so seriously down there. Really, that's crazy the world.

I don't I don't even talk to anybody from college.

I speak to one guy, and every time I speak to me, he's like, remember that time in your dorm when you got drunk and were listening to Mariak, Like he remembers things that I'm like, I think you make that up. Every time we speak he says something and I'm like, that's not a real memory.

I'm meeting up with my friend from college. Her name is Amanda, Amanda David.

Name.

Yeah, it's about to be her birthday. I haven't seen her in years. I'm going to her birthday party. And this was like a near dear friend. She was like basically Marie level type friend. And she had a baby and that's when she fell off.

She disappeared.

Yeah she's dead to us.

Sorry, man, Well not no, no, no, no, no no no.

I think it was because I was in another phase too in my life, because sometimes you don't even have to have a kid or a boyfriend for people to just like split.

Now you have a kid.

We not really cool, but it's fascinating how people kind of just they just die, separate.

They have a baby, and it's like, oh my god, remember Valerie, she's like dead.

Now when you have a baby, you die and then you are reincarnated as a babysitter for fifty to sixty years.

Oh that's what it is, Gatherine.

You become a full ten babysitter and you don't have a life.

Are you excited about that?

Absolutely?

Not look like a baby.

Yeah. Actually, the only reason I wanted to have a kid is to reason one, because I wanted to see a little version of myself.

You don't need to see brother.

We have a version of your brother, who's a little vert.

He's bigger than me and he's older than me.

But I need a little version, like a little one that's like that does like the same things that I do, doesn't necessarily look like.

Me, just like like a clown, right or a clown, a clown clown. So that's that was one of That was one of the reasons why I wanted to have a kid.

And then the second reason is because my mother likes children and she I thought she'd be a cool grandma. Oh she would be, but like it's not because like I want to procreate. Like it's not because I'm like, oh, there's a burning desire in me.

To even imagine you fucking pregnant.

Ory, I would be so much traumatic funny.

I go on training, like I need to sit down.

I'm like three days pregnant, and you would be yelling everybody everybody pregnant. You were like, no, man, we'd be like you. It'd be like, it looks like you just had a big lunch.

And like there's are twins in here, the twins.

I feel like if I have kids, it'll be because like like in a Kylie Jenner way, it's like I have everything in the world. What more could I want? Oh, I'll have a kid, like for fun, like as a joke, as a twin year old. Okay, yeah, she already has the whole world.

And like different thing.

I'm climbing the laddery. You know. I want to be a big success and once I'll be.

Like, Okay, you're on your way, Catherine. You're doing bonner is freaking summer.

Thank you big.

So for the listeners, what's Bonnaroo?

It's a festival. It's like it's a.

Music that's a big music festival, like in the middle of Tennessee.

You're singing.

I'm gonna sing.

And they have a comedy tent now, which I think is a newsh thing. So I'll do yeah songs and stand up When is Bonnaroo June seventh through tent is gonna.

Be hot as fuck.

You're gonna be your little curls, your little baby hair.

The other reason why I like summer is because my hair gets so big.

It's just your hair is beautiful, though, what's the problem with big hair caper?

It's hard to do it. We are out here thriving. I need in my hair, my pone tail. Your hair does look am I think I'm gonna break it all down this summer and do like a tapered wig.

Oh like a like a tapered like a short hair, like a short wig. You're gonna do a short way.

I'm gonna do a short let's brush the shoulders, you all under the ears, like you're gonna do like Angela Bassett, like when she cut all her hair off. I'm waiting to exhale and yet, no, no, no, it's gonna do that. It's gonna be a different cut. It's gonna be I'm gonna final photo and i'mna attach it to this episode.

Are you gonna look Are you gonna look like?

Uh, I'm gonna look really like you're in front of the desk.

You're gonna be front office manager.

Listen. You think it's gonna be maybe it'll be like a blunt short, Bob. I'm gonna get a mushroom cut for the summer. I love, thank you so much.

What would you call this cut you have?

It's a long bat.

I'm gonna say that's a lob.

It's packaged hair girl, that's what it's called. So also was at our show last night and he was like, is that the same week that city swearing or does she have a collection of those wigs? And I was like, it's a different week. It's thirty dollars.

How many weeks do you have? Oh?

Too many? Oh so hundreds many weeks? So many?

And I spent so much money. So hopefully, you know, we could do some things where we can get some like quality hair. Yeah, I would love anybody who's listening who has that hair plug, not hair plugs, hair neck I would love it.

That's what I want.

I mean, you should be sponsored, but we should be sponsored.

Catherine I feel like you have people in your sorority or.

People that you know they sell hair.

Yeah, I'll go through my phone book, see.

Which are the theate is sell hair. Now, I feel like you have a rolodex of things too.

Unfortunately, though, I basically like left my sorority after my freshman year, so I don't have those bonds anymore.

But why did you leave?

Because it was I didn't really like it. I'm glad that you were put your foot down and you were like, no, No, I started meeting like the theater people and fell into my a cappella group, and I found community and other places.

Well, I think when I think of sororities that are fun, I don't think Ivy League colleges have fun.

So no, it was just the way to meet people when I first stepped on campus. So you used I used them for sure. Free cupcakes at passes to.

Clubs, free cupcakes was like your Hays.

Week that Yeah, well, I told you it was gentle. It wasn't like a real sorority.

Princeton do better, That's all I gotta say to Princeton. I feel like when I think sorority, I think like Sarah Michelle Geller in Cruel Intentions. Oh my god, meets like everything that was happening in Legally Blonde. Wait was she yes, she was, but wait she was in she was like they went to like a boarding school or something or a private school.

Were they in high school? They were?

They were high school? Were so grown?

That movie like ruined my life?

Yeah, they were doing coke and Anal I was like, yo, white rich people are why everyone everybody constantly because she was Sarah Michelle Geller was like a virgin or something like that.

But she threw out the entire movie.

But I think it was like butts X.

With her violent teacher or whatever.

That was.

Blair and here's Blair.

That was an iconic movie though, Yes, but how far amazing?

How far has Somelma Blair fallen?

She played Chris Jenner in the O. J. Simpson.

Oh my god, I forgot about that.

That's that was the rudest role you could possibly give some I was like.

What Chris Jenner? I mean, she looked like her but amazing. I really enjoyed, but.

Looks much better than I said. Well, good for y'all acting.

But it was young Chris Janner.

Yeah, this is before the Michael.

Jackson faced you don't think, Yeah, she looks fine.

She had a mushroom cut, like a long like what I'm gonna have for the summer, stop it, but like a little like like a little sideburn curled piece. So after that you leave the sorority? How do you leave? You just say I'm not coming back and live in here with you guys?

Or do you there was there are no, there wasn't a house. I wasn't really that. You don't even have a damn I'm you're so I would know. I was barely involved and I just world of like stopped going to the event.

So it was casual.

Okay, Well you know what, it made you a better person, you know what I mean?

I feel like, yeah, yo, Catherine, your top in the top ten people in comedy that I, oh my, genuinely enjoy.

Same to you.

Every time we still want to stage. You're always singing. Do you have a little song for us?

Maybe?

Oh my god, I actually have some new songs. I gonna be debuting at my Caroline show, which you're yes, Tuesday.

First Tuesday first, so next Tuesday.

Yeah, I have a new song. I have a few ones. One is about wanting to go to events. I'll just sing in the chorus really quickly, and then events, so on, I go to events. Please invite me to your events. Events, events, so one, I go to events, Take me to your events. Scene. Yes, keep it simple. That's sort of a talk one.

Yeah, but I feel like that's the song for us for the summer, for the.

Song We're going to the rusty pan. What's it called, We're going to the dirty flirting for Marie.

Yeah, we're gonna be wearing community flirting, going to the Hampton.

I don't like anes Pa drove.

Nobody likes it, so why are they every way?

Wait?

Wait, wait, wait, wait list wait a minute, wait, what's wrong with an Esper drill. Let's talk about it real quick. What's why it feels dated?

It feels out of touch?

Dad? Then I just googled drill. I wanted to make sure we're talking.

About so I want. I love a wedge. I love that.

Drill.

Drill implies like the ropey size, right.

Yeah, like that these things like it has like the bracelet on you like, mom, But then you could get an es drill wedge. Wow, even worse.

I have Espra drill Jimmy chees and they're Jimmy Choo's.

You said it twice.

We know that they're Jimmy Jimmy Somewhere you have Jimmy Choo's.

There Jimmy chooes shoes and they're Espra drills, and there are Jimmy Choo's. They're Jimmy cheese.

I'm trying to so for the Jimmy choose, I'm trying to think why I don't like them. I think it's because I picture sort of like these Texas at the country club with them, and.

I used a wrong type of women you talking about with them when I have the Espra drills on. These are what you have on is these eSPI drills right here, because those are Espra drills are so Chanell released a line of Espip duals like two years ago that everybody was running out to get and they just it was like a black leather like shoe with like the woven bottoms and they were like one thousand dollars.

It's insane for a summer shoe.

My roll never over one hundred dollars for a pair of shoes or for any any clothing thing unless it's something like crazy that you have to have stable piece coat, a coat, or maybe like a dress for a cocktail dress or something.

If you do, I'll spend hundred dollars on a dress for a cocktail event and then bring it back after the event. Yeah, take all the bits. I'll spend three hundred dollars on a cocktail dress.

Bring it back.

But for a playful trend shoe, I'm not going over one hundred.

Not a summer shoe a season.

The red. I got my red boots seventy that's okay, you.

Know, seventy dollars red boots. Girl?

Did you order the ones I sent you?

Oh?

No, I'm sorry, I'm my money ain't right the way I say.

The red is already wearing off from where my feet like rub and yeah, I guess I like hit my own feet when I walk.

Is it a patent leather red boot?

No?

Okay, okay. I have a pair of red boots that we got from Buffalo Exchange. It was with me. They were eighteen dollars red boots.

Oh yeah, I love the Beacon's closet.

They're red boots and like.

I wear I barely wear them, but when I wear them, I'm like eighteen dollars. Every time I step down, I'm like, eighteen eighteen dollars.

That's it. Yeah, I feel like I don't want to spend. I want people to send me things.

You have a podcast, that's what it's for, exactly.

You guys need to hook side.

We were, we were just on the podcast. They sent that dude a fucking suit case suitcase away Away.

You know you, okay Away needs to sponsor this meat away. You need Casper, You need Casper?

Where are you?

You know you don't need What if I hear one more ad for pooperri on a podcast?

What's that poopery? What's poopery?

It's always just spray for when you when you ship. It's like when you when you blow up, it's not that bad. You need to order something online to fix it.

Just leave the room, let match k just let them match and then throw the match in the toilet. That's when you taco bell. You gotta blow up the whole whole bathroom. You gotta just put the whole thing on fire. I don't like the pirie.

So I'm really excited about our summer plans. Like what else you guys have lined up?

Honestly, I just I'm gonna wear like denim breefs, not even shorts denim. And then I got a lot.

I got a couple.

I got a couple like long, kind of flowy, you know, like kimono situations, situations. I love that.

Yeah, I want to do I want to do moreers. I want to do a little Wuners.

Yeah.

I call him wers because I'm an adult.

Okay, thank you. Winner sounds like babies. No, that's one's ease, winner, mature, that's not just call it a ropper. That's what I'm calling winner.

So shorts pants.

I actually just really want to be healthier this summer.

So what I mean no barbecues. We barely go to barbecue is healthy? I like a cookout. I like I live for a cookout like rice on a paper plate. Yes, Little Catherine, we're going to Newark to go to this barbecue, to go to the airports paint. We're going to Newark and Gordon baker Bone is going to have a cookout for us because he was our cookout expert. Yes, and we're going sounds awesome. I feel like you can us Newark roll through. But he has these brisket bacon burgers. So that's why we're going.

I love meat NonStop. I want anyone with the backyard to invite us over to grill. I'll bring fancy sausages to grill with a nice mustard.

I'll bring it all.

Oh, a nice mustard.

I feel like you're a really good I could see there's a good host.

I love to host. Thank you for noticing.

And I've been at your apartment. It's real nice.

I know about we need a backyard. Yeah, we don't have backyard.

What are your plans for the summer?

So I'm gonna wear warm colors like I'm just some color blockings, like an orange crop top with like a magenta mini skirt, shoes with like a yellow sandal. I have my eye on these platform yellow sandals from Camper.

I don't even know what that is. Is that the summertime camper camper sounds like hunter camoes.

And my plan is to be on a lot of rooftops.

Yes, but that's everyone's plan. Everything that's boring, Okay. So I love spicy skinny margaritas.

A spicy scal oh I do love, Yes, I love a but what's the skinna margarita? It's where no sugar mix.

There's no simple syrup.

Yeah, it's just like soda tequila.

Yeah, no, I need that.

I want to get some, but I don't want the mix. It gives me a headache. I'm fragile.

Yeah, yeah, I feel like classy ladies like you guys should not have sugar in your dock. No, no, what I eat bread dry? I don't even put I put sugar on my bread. That's how much I like bread and sugar.

If I eat bread, I immediately gain twenty to thirty pounds.

Catherine, ever reason I hear you speak what I'm like.

You're your first of all, your body is incredible, Thank you, and I try and tie care.

I couldn't even see twenty extra pounds on you.

I'll show you.

A picture, Okay, you know we want to see it.

Yeah anyway, Yeah, this summer. You know I love a jog. Oh you know what, I'm obsessed with swimming?

Swimming.

Where do you swim? So where you have friends with pools that you holding.

Out on us?

No, it's a combination of borrowing my brother's car, going upstate and access to a card.

You guys gotta come. So we're hanging out we're going upstate this we're gonna do it.

We're gonna have a little cabin. Oh my god, I don't do cabins.

No, we don't have to stay the night. We can just go for the day.

But we can.

We could do one night airbnb in sort of like a country home.

A country home that means wrap around porch.

If you split it with people, you know, you can get a nice place.

M I like something that's already just set up, you know, I'll do it.

I'll do some fu.

I want to go to.

The woods.

I'll do a little trailer. Hey, I'll be in a trailer.

I don't mind. Okay, Sydney, you're on drugs.

Yes I am, Catherine. I feel like I learned so much about you.

Oh my god, I could do this all day. Yeah. Anything that you.

Feel like you didn't say that people should know, either about pledging or sororities or gross sex in hotels or espadrials. Really anything, is there anything that you want to say?

I think just you really got to do. Make you alone happy and good things will come wait you alone, like you by yourself. I mean, don't worry about what makes other people happy.

Okay, Ooh, it is hard.

Little, that's not that hard.

It's not hard for me.

Sydney is compassionate.

If you're a people pleaser, I.

Am a people's people I've always been like that, and it's billed over into my adulthood and now I'm like, I'm really getting older and it's like I care about people and their feelings when I don't have the capacity, I don't have any room to actually care about people anymore.

I care so much, but I'm like, dude, I only have this much room in my heart. Is like a little bit. Is this too much?

No?

I think with what we're doing, especially if you have to take such good care of yourself basically mentally, you don't have time to do with other people's shit.

I don't have time.

And you're giving to them in your performance.

Okay, that's the gift. Talk to them. It's a gift.

Every time you get show up looking amazing, you make them laugh, you charm.

That's you're giving love.

Catherine.

I really I feel like you have the voice to do like meditation, Like God, I know I want you.

I love doing voiceover, so please hire me.

O yes, Catherine at an audition the other day, I loved it.

I was like, oh, hey girl. She was like hey.

They both were like hello.

Hello. What was that for McDonald's or something?

I don't know. I didn't book, did you also did not. I'm in a dry spell, so I would love to bug.

You've done a lot, right, I've.

Done a lot of you. Oh yeah, I'm ready for more? Baby? What have you?

Where can we hear your voice? What ads?

Right now? I did it? One for ship razors, care free liners, the pads.

Oh, I love a pantyliner.

Honestly, I feel like I would like to use them, but I don't. But are you supposed to? It's a penny liner every day?

That's insane. I would never use that use.

I think it's like your fast day. Your period when it's secretion is just not as white as it should be.

It's not as white as what were you say right there?

When are not? Your period comes out brown? No, no, no, I mean the secretion is the moisture that like mm hmm, you got land. Our next guest he's probably lost on coming after me. You just line us is a double hitter right here? Doubleheader?

So carefree hick.

Yeah, those are the only ones that are on right now. I did a bunch of ola but I don't know if there's.

So that's nice, you know, Catherine, she did a bunch of ol A commercials. That's great.

But I need my next big campaign. So I'm ready and willing.

I auditioned to be the voice of Mabeline.

Yeah, how is that?

I don't think I got it.

Well you'll find out.

I I.

Got to be and I got there late, and then I was hungry.

So where was it?

Which one?

It was at this place on Fifth Avenue and I show up and I would.

Sound Lounge, Sound Lounge, Sonic Lounge, something like that, all those places.

And I was walking by the kitchen and I saw a bunch of bananas, so I grabbed one and I was eating it, and then women came out and said my name for me to go in next, and I threw half of the banana away and she was.

Like, oh, you didn't have to do that, we can skip you.

And I was like, I was like, uh no, it's fine.

I got that banana from here.

Yeah, and she was like those are for the class pay to be Wait really, yes, I always think about that. I'm like, can I take this at you?

I just take them.

Yeah, and then she gave me like really bad direction.

Oh I hate that, so I don't think I got it. Okay, you doing? You're being truthful? All right, are we all?

Yeah?

Let's wrap this up. Thank you so much for having me.

Love you guys, people who are listening where they can catch you.

When is this coming out?

Probably this tomorrow?

Oh great?

So first Caroline seven thirty pm, Sydney hosts Bang Bang with guests Pat Reagan and Irene Pharaoh.

Love Merrow, Yes and the Young Girls.

The big one that I want y'all to get tickets to is Joe's Pub June twenty, first first day of summer.

Come come, it's gonna be singing. It's gonna be you have a full band, full band.

Oh my god, that's god.

That'll be great.

Thank you guys for beautiful.

Voice oh so sexy.

Bye guy bye