"The Projects Expert" with Jordan Temple

Hello, my goodness, good morning, afternoon or evening.

Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast with.

Sydney and Marie Samiel. Oh my goodness, what a day?

What a day? What are we doing? Dude?

Every time, every couple days something will happen and I'm like.

Is this my life?

Honestly, I can't wait till the whole world knows how amazing we are because the things that we go through.

Oh my goodness, shout out to everybody listening in Australia. We got people listening out there. Shout out to people listening, you know, just across the world.

See somebody slid in my Venmo like two months ago and gave me some money, like for just because I said, give me some money. So I want to say thank you to that person. I think her name was Molly. I'm not for sure.

But Molly just sent you money from the pot.

Oh yes, Molly Krueger paid and she said some coins for Sydney, Elizabeth Washington and hopes for a shout out on the unoffici so experts to this dedicated podcast listening beije woman named Molly. Oh my god, that'd be National Venmo Day. Don't roast me.

Molly. I love you.

I can't wait to meet you and see you. Molly, you didn't slut him up vimo because she didn't ask. I don't have to ask on Twitter. I'm not asking. I'm telling y'all.

You're asking asking. You shall receive Molly.

They can't find you. Thank you, Molly for sending Sydney some money. Yeah, I'll listen. We've I'm sure we shared it in a cab. How you doing, a girl? Oh man, I'm doing really well. I feel like I feel like we're ending the year really really strong. Right, twenty seventeen has been you know, the comedy is going going really well. I feel like twenty eighteen is going to be an

Do you remember me from absolutely not. I'm gonna change my name so it's not even gonna be fucking Sydney.

Right right right, because I'm like too good to be a Maria. It's gonna be like Anastagia.

Is the Sydney still gonna be in the name?

No, I think I'm gonna change my name of Tamuu.

What you want, Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. Exciting. So Marie, what were you an expert in?

I was an expert at not being prepared to be an expert this week. That's crazy because we have the same expert My goodness. I mean, I think what it is is, I'm just really excited about this guest, and I feel like maybe we should just like jump into that.

I think we should do that. I'm so for that. You see, we're in a good place. We were in a chord. Yeah.

This next guest, honestly, everybody should know who the hell he is. He's a great writer, comedian, stand up actor. He's written a couple of plays that you guys should see.

Hidden Fences, which was a Jenna Bush like mistake at like the Golden Globes or something, and he turned that mistake into like a really really fun.

Freaking gym. It's such a gym.

And then he recently had the color Arkle. This is a mix up of the color purple and Steve Erkle. Amazing. Okay, we've seen him all over New York City. Give it up for our projects.

Expert Jordan's tempa p my project.

Do you know in projects?

Is it project path, project pete, project project pat maybe project?

Probably your mom when your mom did she projects.

George Lay for school, she was singing that.

So you're you're born and raised in New York. What projects is are in queens.

Uh south Side? Forty projects? Far Rockaway? Wow, Hammels Edgemere?

Are you listed all the projects?

Projects?

So what's a? What's a? Is there a famous person that came out of your projects? Because I feel like.

From Ravens were projects that's from that's the project over from Queensbridge.

So like your NAS adjacent, NAS adjacent, Jungle adjacent, mob deep mob deep, Prodigy adjacent, Okay, okay, hood hood adjacent.

What do you mean projects? In my mind? Project is hood always? Yeah? Is this?

My project was described to me recently as the soft projects.

Oh, somebody came for your struggles. So y'all wore like y'all wore like skinny jeans and whatnot.

So your dads were around in the projects. I would skateboard in the project. I skateboarded in my projects. In my project, you were in my projects.

That's crazy. So you were kind of like it's that guy's name kick Push.

Blue Babe, or even like Kareem Campbell.

He's a black skateboarder. Kids would call me black Tony Hawk.

I'm loud love.

I love when I see black people on skateboards because I just feel like we make it look so much cooler than our beige contemporaries.

I just want to see a black dude on a skateboard, rob somebody.

That's exactly what the listeners.

Drew Dowdy is another comedian who is fun at herol He's sexy, so sexy, he's got a great he's too I thought.

He's too tall for a skateboard. I don't know, no, but he's got long legs. You got legs that are good enough. You can't be above a certain You can't be five ten on a skateboard.

How tall are you six one?

You're six one?

You don't give me six at all because you because he's a lion.

It's a damn lie. How tall are you giving your id?

Don't don't by the idea because you put you put the height down yourself.

I don't trust you're five eleven. What you're telling me that you six ft? Need you at least five les. Well, stand up right now. I just want to see you are tall. You know what you know what it is is, listeners, I haven't.

I have a very tall sense of self, so I just assume that I'm the same height as everybody in the room at all times.

You have a short person, you know, you carry it short.

You carry it lou lou, sweet cheer, you carry.

It in your cab.

I'm humble, y'all.

You you have a hat on. That's it's daddy on. You're not humble. You know what it is?

You have a short neck. Your neck is short. If your if your neck is longer, I could see that. No, you definitely don't.

That's the thing that moms say people nights. I need to get one of them things that make my neck look.

No, you gotta get what's what's that like those tribes that do like the necklaces that like logate their next long.

It Yeah short, you do it's real?

Stubby, damn stuffy?

You is your other?

Next?

Short? You got too short?

Next?

I got to next.

I never thought I came to do this podcast. Y'all make me feel self conscious.

That's what we do. That's what I love.

Was like roast.

We build you up and bring you down.

I don't know. I feel good about my neck.

No, you're good the sort. And you are handsome, you're Haitian. You're doing well.

Wow, people, you're handsome and Haitian. Wow, you're doing better than he's an idiot.

Well, you know what I'm I'm stunning and I'm Haitian too, so and I'm people say that to me all the time. Black can we can we talk about growing up in the project? Did you like where the elevators always broken? Did people pee in the hallway? Do people smoking the hallway?

Like?

What's that? Like? Virginity on the roof?

I put in the steps. I sucked a couple of my girlfriends and.

The steps to okay, the same steps.

The same steps? Where okay?

So where what floor? What's a good floor to pee on?

Between four and five? You need to like be kind of in the cut, like around the corner. So there's like two different doors that swing open, one where it's like you don't expect anyone to peek out up to the next floor, they're going straight down, and the other one where you could just be like just me and my girlfriend just hanging out.

So what's what's a good sex floor.

Between four and five?

And that's also the p floor.

There's also and you could peel on on the second floor is the camera, so anything above the warm Oh.

And the second floor is where the laundry mat is. Sydney Wood, every building is not the same. So when did you become a project? I lived with my friend in the projects for like a couple of months. Larner. Oh my god, Oh my goodness. That's a town home.

That's a that's amazing.

So you said it like you knew for the fact that they all got the same blueprints.

So why not just go home to peep?

Oh? Sometimes I don't know. Sometimes it wasn't your building.

Sometimes if you go into other buildings, or you smoke a weed, Oh you're coming back from getting some weed.

Sometimes you gotta take a piss.

Can't you just pee outside?

Nah? Sometimes you could do that too. You could pee everywhere. It's the project. It's so cheap already, it doesn't even matter, yo.

So like I feel like when people think of projects, they think of like really ugly paint and like riches and stuff.

Yeah, I have broches, my mom's paint. My mom still lives in projects and the paint its chipping crazy, the water is foul.

The water is bad too.

Oh no, I meant the water in the wall that makes the like that. Yeah, it's pretty bad. But her crib is nicer than mine. I don't even know what I'm talking about. Actually, I moved out of the projects and into a worse apartment, not project.

How is that possible?

Because I got two other roommates, and before I was living with my mom's. Yeah, I was in the PJS until last year.

So, Georgia, I didn't even know you're struggling like that.

Yeah, going through it. I did not know your life turned the corner this year. I'm an entirely different person.

I know you too. You took a car here today, I did. You took a car here.

But I still feel the projects like the remnants of it.

I still there's an edge.

There's Project cru Yeah, you're you know, I don't see that at all. I would not have known that you were the project PJ pts D you know, can we talk about that?

What's that? What's that?

Just seeing a group of niggas Sometimes I'm just like, come on, come on, niggas, Like I'm ready.

You ever get hold of my pockets?

And when I walk by a group of niggas, sometimes your pocket. No, No, I've been Yeah, man.

You've been jumping before. We jump talk about it the.

First time I went to So it's like a neighboring project to me, a story of projects.

It's like the project we beef with and.

The projects beef with the projects. Yeah, yeah, I'm both doing bad. Yeah, we're all laughing at you guys.

We're actually we're trying to stay there.

That's why we keeping you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, we've got solutions to problems that we created ourself. You know what I'm saying, I'm sounding like Ben Causton's son.

Yeah.

I don't want to say that, but I was like, wow, working on now, it's a character I'm working on.

No, it's just yeah, I do have pj PTSD. This is crazy.

So I'm going to this party. There's this girl, big booty girl, and the story of projects. I'm like, gott to see her again, Gotta.

See her because but was fat, absolutely absolutely.

What her face looked like, he don't.

Even her face was was beat. But you know, that's just life.

The cars that she was built.

Her.

God gave her that her God, well, my guy would for sake me, because I don't have a little I have a little butt.

So yeah, she was. She was Jamaican.

I don't I don't blame her for it, but you know her for it, man.

Like I got that.

Face.

Was so you were going to the neighboring projects to beat up Big Booty Judy.

To beat it. It was a house party.

And then I go, I'm not going to a house party in the projects.

And I was like, yo, let's go, and and uh, a fight broke out.

Some people was getting stabbed.

I think you think I just heard.

I just saw this. If y'all can't see, that's my hand going up and down.

It's like the Jason arm.

The Jason arm. It was a pretty bad time. And I left and then started raining and I was like, wait, y'all, I left my umbrella because I went back for them. I went back for the umbrella, but really to see big Booty Judy. And then I walked back out of the building and like forty niggas were like, hey, who niggas, And I was I don't know, just came get my humble.

I don't know this is back at the party.

It's back outside of the people. And then they chased this out.

They chased the chase. What did you get?

Yeah?

Yeah, niggas threw a beach chair at me. That's a good fight. That's a good fight sequence.

I don't know where it came from, Like, where was this?

I really like December? Yeah, it was speaking window.

It was Winter wonderful type project. Yes, it's just like now I see a beach chair made that ship up? Did some object working through the object on my head?

Yo, make sure that when you write the next the movie that you write, make sure that you incorporate the flying beach share.

It's super important.

Yeah, that's pretty much. So two of that's my brand. Absurd ship happened in the hood.

What what's the what's the most like dramatic? Like, what kind of fights did you used to see?

Oh, I'll tell you a fight I got into. Okay, when I was sixteen, there was this kid. I think it was over a basketball game.

Probably, I mean it wasn't a soccer game.

Nah, and it was your cold.

Yeah, Sydney shoved her up her feet under my shirt. It's under your shirt. It's under your butt too. So cold. That's fine, you have one the most close. I'm dying me.

My friend said, I don't even think I let my girl do this. She would even she would even try that.

Okay, she knows better, but Sidney does not. I do not.

Your feet feet, Oh crazy, yo, Sydney, move your city, your feet Sidney.

Oh my god, he's looking at your feet. Now, don't look at them. Oh yo yo, roast him for like two seconds. Get in there, give me your best.

Your feet looked like a bunch of abandoned homes.

Keep going going. Your fe look like you looks like my projects.

Your feet look like the orphans in that abandoned home. No fire.

Oh man, he said, your feet got third degree burn.

Since, yeah, they got third degree.

And look at how smushed against the side of the couch he is he.

Look like afro punk.

Yo.

That okay? So they're doing too much. Everyone appunk is always.

Doing brown and they want to be seen.

God, Sydney, please tuck your toes in the cushion or something.

Sorry, is there you guys like I'm thinking of afropunk shirt like you're doing too much.

You are doing you are afro punk right now, you're doing doing too much. Continue continue, Wait, so who got let's talk about this.

So I had to fight. We fight on a basketball game.

We take off our shirts because we little niggas and want to show that we've done a couple of push ups, and then we were going in.

We fight. I throw a couple of swings at him.

Are you winning? Are you losing?

And I'm winning?

I swing and I hit him and he spins around. I hit him so hard. Wow, patient, haitian anger salt. But I feel like I don't know, Jordan. You don't look like you could like hit. Wow, Jordan, you don't you can hit. Also, you don't look you from the projects. I almost feel like you're lying. Like you had a yard and maybe a dog.

No I didn't. I didn't have ship.

You had a cat? You didn't have a dog?

No, I had a cat? Throw him in the ceiling fan? What that so like?

That sound like some project behavior?

Serious?

I can't be your friend? Was the would the you know my feet? My feet deserved better? No, thank you.

I fell back onto the bench over a bike and he like pummeled me in the head. I got a huge speednot speed, not a big noot. That appears very fast speed.

Nott Okay, I get it. Wait can we go back to this cat in the ceiling fan? You would just throw it? What is wrong with you? While the fan was on? Are you would throw the cat in the ceiling? I'm really upset? Why because she's a project?

He's an animal, Sydney. You're clearly an animal. I'm from the project, Sydney, Deny. What are the projects known for? What is usually around the projects? Several liquor liquor stores, Kennedy Fried Chicken, Kennedy Fried Chicken or spot.

Spot single cigarettes. Uh huh.

Do you think people have misconceptions about the projects or everything people believe?

No?

I think everything we have is right.

The projects are dumb, and that people from the projects don't have anything of value outside of you know, like they think we're just like chilling, drinking and smoking all day. And my project specifically, I remember there were we used to stash like chess pieces in the bushes because there were like a chessboard like on the place, like a little table, stone table, and we used to play chess all day. Niggas playing time chests. Oh you're a little there's a little chest like tournaments and.

Stuff Okay, Well in the projects. They're in the middle of.

The projects on his pro jerks. So yeah, My question for you is you said you lived in the projects. Up until last year, you were bringing women to the projects. So you're saying Liz was coming through to the projects. You had white women a couple of times. You need to marry her, you need, you need to marry her. Okay, hold, but she came at least one.

Yeah, a lot of them, did a lot of them. You've got a lot of nerves. I know that's.

No.

Okay, I have a question. There was plenty of girls coming to my project. And how is sex in the projects?

Because I've done it once and I walked out and I definitely felt like I was sexually assaulted.

It wasn't felt like I needed to call it. Leave your post.

It's like sex any other places, except the light flickers a little more.

Now and there's a bug on that there's no headboard.

Show is it?

Did you mattress? Mattresses on the floor?

No, I ain't have no floor.

Somebody in a project I don't remember, Sydney. I'm gonna go ahead and take a we did a video about it. I'm gonna take a minute.

Video. It comes back to me in a minute. It's not it's not. It's not the word YouTube video. Everybody go to, Uh, mister easy was.

My mom's house. So it looks like your moms are like Auntie.

It's like nick, it was it wasn't like it wasn't it wasn't a a a male dominated household like it was my mom's credit.

So like plastic on the couch, plastic on the couch cushions or no.

Not like futon like new age like nice kinty cloth in the corner like a house little little little black like like little African like dogs.

So when you bring a girl in, like what kind of refreshments did you have for her?

Juice?

Because spray or ocean spray and yeah, other kinds? Is there another type? There's like seatown brand.

Seatown?

Really in the projects, there's no, there's no seat towns associated not thing. Yeah, that's the same thing or a key food Oh seatown wait yeah town.

Did your mother ever make any of like the packet iced tea?

No, no's not necessarily a project thing though what people in the suburbs packets of stuff?

She never, Madelid, my mom was better than that. Let's talk about your brother form. Oh yeah, so what is your what's your mother's name?

That is?

That's a good mom. You know, let's I hang out there, your mom hang out name Roslin here, we're I She's beautiful. I really like her.

Mom's held it down. That's why the crib was decent. And I'm a half decent person, you know.

Are you? Yeah? I'm pretty am all right.

I see the way the things that you say and the comments that you made on this podcast.

You ain't ship. You were throwing cat in the the that's that was your cat?

What I can't talk to you anymore after the project, after this, we're done.

Okay, that's going to tag you in this.

Okay, that's like some nigga named Jordan's who throws cats and.

Uh that was the one time thing.

And after I saw how much the cat didn't like it, I said, hey, I gotta stop, and I did.

I put my foot down on the cat on the exactly. Yeah, I saw what you were going with that cat. People are not going to like this at all. I mean, I mean, I'm not really a cat person, so I don't really care.

I live with a cat now, I'm nicer to him. Deaf got no ceiling fans. Cat, you throw him at the box fan.

It's pretty high though.

You threw him at the box fan.

Yeah, Okay, let's continue talking about Marie stopped laughing. It's funny, Sidney, He's already doing it. I'm just talking to him about it. You guys, having me is our cat torture. You're no longer a project. The ASPCA or whatever is going. Okay, so reach out to you when you're talking about your mom. Oh my mom, she did she like not let you go out after a certain time, Like was she one of these like you got to be home because people are crazy out here.

Or was she like it wasn't the craziest.

There would be a couple of things happening here and there, but no, she just let me go when I wanted. I would come back like wasted one time. More than a couple of times i'd be I'd come home like super high. And it took me forever to graduate. And at one point I just didn't go outside because I wanted to finish high school.

It took you for ever.

I wasn't five. I went to five high schools.

Wow, Jordiana. You kept getting kicked out.

I got kicked out of I got no, you weren't left back. I got kicked out of one.

And then what happened.

I got expelled for smoking a cigarette and stupid I got into a previous fight before it was a border school.

You went to boarding school. Yeah, so your mother sent you out of the projects.

Yeah, but my school also helped facilitate that. But my mom wanted me to like get out, and you know.

It was that's why you don't have that project vibe because you in school.

That's what it did, really erase all the projects out of you.

Yeah, not a bad thing that had the product.

I'm sorry, Yes it is. You have to do rag and have the tail out. Yeah. Yeah, I'm Tims and Shorts has a problem reversal like version. I'm just like you know what I think I see now you're ready to fight for the project that.

We got hots too.

No, but like.

You keep out turkeys, but like, do you keep in touch with anybody that you grew up with in the projects who didn't go to boarding school, because they're probably not in the same place that you.

Have right now anyone from my projects.

But don't you feel like you should contact them or like at least try to stay friends with them because you can help them get out. They can look at what you're doing and be inspired.

But they didn't go to boarding school. Said it's that you don't need to go to boarding school.

But if you see what Jordan's doing right now, like if they came to a show or came to a space, you gotta be like Sean Corter, you gotta get.

Back just started.

It'd be cool if they did. But I feel like.

Like I isolated myself so much, like I'm not cool with them, but I also like people just don't like I'm just on my own. Fucking yeah, I can trying to super and he's trying to compare you to jay Z. It's like not realistic. Oh so what did jay Z do for Marcie projects?

Nothing?

Literally nothing.

I'm a comedian. I can't call him out call out my projects like a rapper.

Queens. That's why, because they're Queen's projects, nobody cares.

Oh boy, Queen, oh boy, I can't believe you bought jay Z up Sydney. I am okay, I mean I'm just saying like.

Recently, yeah, that seems like a cool dude that school.

Yeah, I have a friend that dated him, So so what I mean I have some things. I mean, you got some dig pics in your phone from your friend who didn't know.

No, I just your friend got nice feet.

Actually, her feet are like two levels above mine. They're not the best, but they're not terrible.

But she's gorgeous. She's stunning. So you don't even care about her feet.

Or her hands.

I got I got project feet in the hands.

Let me see you take your shoes off. Come on, come on, I just showed you mine. You show everybody your feet. My god, please put your feet away.

I always wanted to get out though I wanted to. I mean my brother.

I didn't know you had a brother. You have older brother, but he looked like years nine years Instagram.

He's married. He doesn't have Instagram. He's not one. He's not on Facebook.

This is what your it looks like. You ran this by so many times because anybody be asking.

Sixth grade?

Uh tea teacher, teacher, Okay, that's cute.

Rosmand did well, she did, and she's wonderful. What's the scariest, the scariest thing that's ever happened? To you in the project hmmm, or just like scariest moment where you're like, who this ain't it for me?

I was selling drugs.

You're selling drugs.

You, Jordan, you're learning skateboarding as sugars playing.

You look like a hipster.

That was a really bad we dealer.

So you probably smoked all the week? Yeah I did, he did.

I would smoking.

I smoked the weed with a couple of girls at school, and I remember coming back to the dude who I was selling for his house and he was like, he's like, what happened, man, where's the money? And I'm like and I'm like sitting there quiet and his friends are like laughing around me.

It's just like, ah, this nigga smoked it. He smoked. You smoked the with some bitches, didn't you. And I started like tearing up.

Dealers And he was like, yo, you crying right now? Yo, you're about to cry. He was like, Yo, you did, yo? Yo, come here, man, come here. And he yoked me up a little bit and yo, and then he gave me more weed to sell.

And you smoke that too. Yeah, fucking problem, dude.

Yeah.

I was like sixteen.

I was lost. I was like my black Boy loss. I was like, gone, yeah, black boy loss, that's a play right there.

Oh I'm so tired.

You're so tired, You're like you don't want to write anymore. Okay, I'm ready, But I don't know, but yeah, no, that was a pretty that was a sad time.

I don't know.

Mostly it's like, uh, I feel super like, oh damn, I have a lot to prove, like from uh the projects, Like I ain't grow up with a silver spoon. I see some people who have and it makes me like, it gives me even more fuels. Sometimes people just don't know what people think. People are like dom who grew up in public housing, especially like New York City, Like some fucking brilliant people came out of Knightscha. You gotta fox with you know what I mean? Nightscha never heard nobody?

Great moment?

I feel like I even want to take a I want to take a step back even and talk about some other famous people who have come out of the projects. Who else is from like a New York City housing project? That's famous most most deaths.

Nah, it's just jay Z.

It's all literally everybody it did a sat Rocky come from the projects?

I don't think so.

He's from Harlem.

There's no projects in Harlem. Tell me, okay, there's no projects in Harlem. No.

I don't even know what the project. What's the scariest projects in the pinkhouses?

Wait?

Can we talk about something positive? Like?

This project I've ever been to was Red Fern?

Red Fern?

How these projects far rockaway? That's what my that's where my aunt lives. Fucking terrifying. Really red fd Just once I went and I was like, why why are you doing that?

Why?

Guy? It's not Meder Hey man.

Man, I'm just.

Man.

But look at you. You gotta have that. This is daddy on it. Look at your button down your jeans. I would rob you.

Red Fern got one Red Fern got one star on apartments dot com.

That's terrible.

Wow, why are they ding the project.

People? Jordan's was there a good moment that happened in the projects that you can.

Remember when I left bond niggas.

Happiest memory he skipped out. It is box of things.

Oh my god, a good moment, just basketball tournaments during the summer.

You you don't even look like you dribble. You don't look like you own an't you play basketball?

I don't.

You don't even look like.

Yeah, I don't.

You got them skirtskirts.

That's why I have really have like friends outside of comedy, like people only people who have seen my comedy and actually like my comedy I'm actually friends with And it's sad.

I don't have a lot of friends outside of comedy.

So how do we get you to get some like outside friends?

I don't know, well, tired of meeting new people, Yeah, I mean I feel like that's what happens when you're an adult.

Though I'm good here, Yeah, but I like to I like to meet new people and hear new stories because because you know, I am, I'm not gonna lie on that. I'd like to hear because sometimes I forget my life. I'm like, oh, this is bad, and then I meet somebody else I'm like, it could be so much worse. Absolutely, So sometimes I like to hear other people's stories to make me feel better about myself.

So well, that's why Jordan is here to talk about the projects.

Yeah, but like now, but since you've been out of projects, you've been doing really well, right, Like, so can you talk to us about these plays?

Yeah?

How did the how did it come about? How did you get into stand up?

I just I started stand up. I started with improv where I am I did. Yeah, well, my mom has a master's in apply theater, so she's always been.

Like an actress side theater.

Yeah, she got it last year.

Roslin is dupe.

She's she's the best.

I really like her.

And when I see you with her, I'm just like, oh, I'm so proud of you. Right, you have like a mom that's in your life.

I love my mom's. Yeah. But yeah, my mom got me into it.

She was like, oh, go to this improv thing and there was these two people performing who were like a part of UCV or whatever.

Did you have to pay?

I paid for the first class and then and then I got a scholarship for ye diversity of the levels. I did two on one, three, one, four one, and then I met some stand ups at a meet and great ship, and then I was just saying, I've just been doing stand up since.

Listen you see me be having some cute little meat and greets. The food be free and the liquor be free.

The food as good as hell. I need to I needed to like figure something out. Community college has taking me too long.

Too long. Isn't community college like two years? It's it's four four.

I did it in four.

Like alors program. Yeah, I didn't.

Ye, nothing was easy.

I'd be like, yo, I'm gonna do high school for six, I'm gonna do or five and then I'm gonna do.

Fucking college for four.

Damn dude, years of school for a bad time. So here's my question for you. When you want to get some food delivered. Do they deliver to the projects?

Yeah?

They all the time. Okay, but wait what places deliver?

Because not all because honestly, Domino's is getting real shisty pizza.

Hluf got that song called Deliver. He's like, piece of man, don't come here no more.

Now You're not gonna be robbing me while I'm carrying this little hot bag.

Even the Livery cabs. Even the Livery cabs. Sometimes I would like go to the process.

My friend lived there, and I would try to call a cab and then like, yeah, you got to meet us like three blocks away from the You're not gonna jump in my car and rob me. I'm not even coming to pick you up. And like it's like, get well, you gotta be adjacent to a place with lights. The met Me and Sydney were in the projects. A couple of weeks ago. We went for a barbecue. Remember so Nori, our baby daddy expert, invited us to his girlfriends, his ex girlfriends cookout.

Let's loose, loose whatever says, it doesn't that's who she is. So we get there or I get there, and I was like, you can find me?

Can I tell me he was in the projects? I mean the food was good, but it didn't seem like no it was. It was here in Brooklyn.

But we about to go to Yonkers this weekend, so we'll probably be in the projects. I'm not going to be in the project.

I'm not all the mother hard niggas they come from you.

Because well, like uh DMX is from Yonkers. He is, and you see how he turned down Earls.

I feel like he's the only one that his story was publicized, like how bad, how bad it could get? I mean, you know, he started doing drugs, and I think that literally is what made him spiral out of control.

Jordan started doing drugs and he's spiraled into a writing job.

Yeah, but he was doing he's doing weed. You don't do hard drugs.

No d m X.

The first time he smoked you head whatever, the first time coke? You hang out with white people who did the other day. So wait, what didn't mean more drag? Wait what happened?

He came out?

What do you mean just came out. I had to start doing it.

They were pressure.

Jordan's just saying no, crazy. I should have just said no, tell us, tell us.

So we go to uh some Melisius friend's house and we haven't seen him in a while. They worked super hard.

They live in the middle of Manhattan and they have a backyard, so you know they're insane.

Oh in Manhattan, back in Manhattan floor.

They're nuts. And they worked that hard, so they just try every means of escape.

You know. They had weed, They had their own whiskey, like bottle there. They had like coke for some reason.

They had a v we are like we are virtual reality helmet, you could like, you know, I guess he had porn on there at some point.

But yes, yeah, I don't lie. I wish I did take hard. He's like, I feel like it's hitting me in my face.

I wish I'm looking at the same perty for three years. You got a lot of nerve hired. No, I have a lot of lack of nerve because it's hard. I'm tired.

Would fuck you up? Reckless like this? What she don't have? You in control? You need to give she don't have. Woman never has amount of control. I'm completely out of you are out of control. Let's get back to these freaking whippets.

Whipps though, what is it?

What does a whippet look like? Yeah?

What do you do? Oh?

So there's like an actual can. I can't I can't squeeze this, squeeze the part.

And then you put the niles on your mouth and just inhale that ship?

Is it the computer cleaners?

No?

No, Sometimes it's like.

Cream, like empty wob cream cans like that, just air and then they're just like, you know what you need with whipp it's you need to do cocaine.

See I'm not doing both of those things. Are you trying to kill all the brain cells in your fucking head.

It's so tired, I don't want to think, Well, what is the whipp it. I like, that's like yo, I can't even think, like I feel retarded?

Why do you want to? So then on top of that, you put cocaine.

You feel empty.

It's like it's like k It's like ketamine. I don't know, it's like ketamine. That's what Sydney. You've done whippets and keddemy. No, I've done ken before you. That's the feeling like a little empty and like you're like you don't even know where you are.

It's hot a body experience. Yeah, my head was like empty and your head is still empty right now. I can tell just about talking to you for the last no way.

Well, I was also sitting on a chair for an hour. I was like, damn, what Well you got here real early. So that's you probably are having a blast. What you mean y'all just doing back to back podcasts. I think y'all need to do some whippets. Need to do some whippers here.

No, you're out with these white folks, right, They got all these drugs out. They like pick your poison. You pick up the virtual reality helmet and you're like, oh and whipped cream can't.

They're like they're like, oh, snap, now you want to try whippets, and I was like, all right, whatever, and then the girl threw up.

She threw up like she had like tang glasses.

That's the end of the fucking night.

Some girl just throws up after whippets and cocaine, no thank you, and ten glasses of wie.

You could be in the projects for all that. I mean, people in the projects.

Don't do.

People in the project don't do whippets.

I'm saying, they don't have whipped cream cans in the in the projects, they.

Do cool whip in the can in the jar, cool whip, cool whip. Okay. So and then after that, you did cocaine. Do you recommend it to others?

Cocaine?

Yeah?

No, don't do cocaine.

That's what I was telling you last night, fool, it's bad you did cocaine last night.

Nobody. He was telling me about his story, and I was like, don't do it, dude. You're too old.

They're too old.

Yes, you're too old. Oh my god, what's too old for cocaine? You are you old enough for coke? You gotta be twenty four?

Me?

Yeah, no, I'm saying to do cocaine, and it'd be like nothing to you twenty four.

What are you talking about? Famous people do cocaine? They medd what kind of cocaine slip? Yes, I mean besides, you know, talking about the cocaine.

When you sniff it, you get younger.

Charlie Sheen that winning the thousand dollars a bundle of vial.

That cocaine is the hell of a drug. Cocaine.

Oh that James James did not He looked chrible.

Yeah, he did look Badcaine's bad. I mean, don't do drugs.

I don't know. I'm not here for any of that. Yes, anyway, me neither, So I don't even I'm clean. Yeah, no, it's clean, body, clean, soul.

I was just thirty feet out of control. It's a long week.

It was a long week.

Okay, Well, listen to the people who are listening to this right now who have never been to the projects and will never go to the projects, Like, do you have something like you said that people think that people from the projects are dumb? Any other misconceptions that you think people have about being from.

The streets.

They think.

I mean, I feel like you proved a lot of them already. You really did, because I was like Sidney, please move your feet, dude, what is wrong with you?

I don't know.

It's a class thing. It's like people look at people in the projects like that we're all broke and spend our money on the wrong things. Like I never had a pair of Jordan's and my name is Jordan.

Had a great joke and people, oh lord, is that new.

I don't know, It's just I don't know, like people do treat me like that, Like, you know, you see you go in the project, theresume, we spend all your money on one thing. There's a lot of like, you know, like, uh, was it like certain politics that I feel like people have, like respectability politics people have when they talk about people that live in the project because they have the perception that we spend all our money on Jordan's and Tim's

It's a generational thing more than anything.

And one pair of Jordan's or a couple of pair for me just sleeping in maybe because my my fucking grocery store is like two miles away. Mine isn't. But I'm saying other people live in the food desert. The ship that's keeping people in the projects. Yeah, it's a lifestyle. Choice isn't gonna help one thing get you out the projects? And the perception is that one choice is one for one choice. So that's why you're in the projects. Oh, that's why you are a certain way when it's not.

So your nephew, nephew, So your niece is out here just thriving. What is your Where do they live?

They live in Westchester.

Oh she's really doing well, they're doing I'm proud of your brother for doing something else.

Great.

Yeah, I was in Westchester the other day and I was like, look at all these little mik mansions.

Yeah, we got out the projects and uh, you know, more generations is gonna be born out the projects.

Okay, all right, you keep you keep grabbing it.

Ou Yeah, and you're and you're with a white woman, so you won't ever be in the project.

I mean, she broke She looks like a Dina waitress.

Didn't you guys say that? We never say no? No, you said that about another. See, this is what happened. What that happened was you said another You were talking about Nori and his you're like his white girl looks like a Dina waitress. Words were those and no, no, but I heard.

Dina waitress, white girl looking like Ana probably and I and I laughed, and I laughed a little, but I couldn't laugh too hard because I know my.

White looks like as it looked like she work at TikTok.

She would love that.

White people in the projects. Are there white people in the projects? Yeah? Oh definitely, especially my projects is Queen's.

You talk to white people and queens, you think it's just like regular goofy as white people, and they be like.

Speak Greek and all and stuff. I was like, what language you're trying to speak? They sound like muppets.

Yeah, well, I mean I feel like, so, did you have any other questions about the project?

Guys got project questions?

Or just Jordan's upbringing us in general?

I mean, what did you eat on a regular basis? Because you don't look like you don't look like you ate a lot, but you don't look like you ate terrible.

I don't know. My grandma lived right across the street, co op, so I went to grandma. Grandma.

Grandma did help me out.

So Grandma looked across and laughed at y'all doing that. She was just thrown away food scraps. She was gonna held a little more. She was gonna have a little fresh direct delivered left at y'all.

Now that grandfather has died, I have plenty of money because I have two pensions.

You broke project.

I got beneons.

That was the song of the summer. That should helped me get off the projects.

Shut.

I need to phones.

I mean, Jordan's so you're doing You're doing Hidden Fences. You're gonna do it in l A too, right, I would like to hopefully next year.

Okay, for now, I'm doing Hidden Fences, a New York comedy Festival on November eighth at the Bellhouse.

Yeah, seven doors, seven thirty show. Yeah, that's a big field Jordan. Yeah, yeah, the Bell House is fantastic. That's amazing. Yeah, so say the say the date and the Lord brought it up from the creek in the crave. Well say the location again for people.

It's going to be at the Bell House at seven yeah, seven seven doors, seven thirty show November eighth for as part of a New York Comety festival.

That's fantastic and does have to pay it again, No, I wasn't playing all the dress Just say y'all on the show. I'm gonna be like, I'm one of the blacks on the show. I think you're gonna let all the black people in for free?

Yeah they should. It's gonna be dope.

Where can people listening get tickets or can they pay at the door?

You can pay at the door. Definitely get tickets in advance.

On the New York Comedy Festival website, hidden fences should be listed or just like the hidden Fences page on Facebook and you'll find all the information. Actually have the ticket link pin to the top of that page.

And yeah, Leangston Kerman hosts it right, Lenggston Kerman are light Skin Expert and Carolinasa our ladies streets. That's dope. Well, what's what's next for you? What's the next move for you? My un projected living brother, white woman dating, You're gonna waitress?

Yeah, you got a break, Like Liz, I.

Need to just test test the sisters out for definitely, you'll slide over to the finte beauty.

Once once once, I uh, actually really get I'm gonna I'm gonna leave my wife.

That's a lie.

I mean, I'm not lying or or you mean.

As Liz and be like, hey, can I get Can I bring a black girl into the relationship?

She's gonna say hello, I don't know. I feel like Liz might be a little dawn.

I don't know.

Look him, he already asked. She already said no. She already said, I don't know what she said. Let me talk to her. Yeah, talk talk to Liz.

She'l be like Sydney.

I'm like like that ass is ron girl? What's up? I said, come on, come on, girl, you don't want a little thrism.

I think, yeah, No, it's definitely gonna.

Poligamy is in right, now, poligamy is when you're married to more than one person, not when you're dating whate Yeah.

I don't know, she trapped me. But how did you? How did you did?

I don't even know?

This isn't the interracial relationship expert. Yeah, already had one of those. Yeah my brother, white woman whisper, white Homan whisper.

Yeah, Jordan, and I feel like I learned a lot about you.

You did.

I feel like I'm glad to know that you're in a better place. So shocked to hear that you were read outside the project, to hear that you are six feet tall? Yeah, I didn't even look at it. Must be the jeans at least from the gap. Like, what's up? I know these got a whole Yeah, where in the bood? What's next for me?

I'm writing for The run Down with Robin the d Yeah, that's my job.

My next job.

That's fantastic.

You know.

I went in there and I'm up warmed up the audience last week. Yeah, she's gonna be the warm up.

Yeah.

No, don't listen to city. That's not that's not what happened. Oh shit, less.

Want to edit out? No, No, what happened just you know, we're gonna talk about it all the podcast.

I was asking people like who was in a relationship or whatever, and then I asked this woman and she was like, I'm a widow and I was like, wait.

To bring the mood down. That's hilarious, amazing, that's hilarious.

All right, Well, oh Jordan, you were fantastic. Thank you for being here and doing this. And yeah, I'm glad that you're in a better place even though you're you. You've transcended the projects and now you're doing whippets with white people in backyards.

Man, I need to get my life.

You glad. I'm not you Insuran?

Any gotten insurance?

I love in sure. I had one this morning for breakfast.

It's pretty good.

I like the real they chaste, it's great. I walked down the street with my in shore too. I was like, people were trying to call me. I was like, nah, you see, I'm trying to get my life right.

I need to go get one.

Then you probably should because you don't have enough vitamins of your diarphee.

I'm straight up.

Even playing like, I hope you guys come to my funeral. Alright, Well, let's end on some some good music. Let's plug some things. Marie, where can we catch you?

You can catch me, well, not at Robin the d because I don't think anyway. So you can catch me.

You can catch me on Instagram at re z r e e e z y and you can catch the Unofficial Expert on Facebook at just the Unofficial Expert and then on Instagram at Unofficial Expert.

Yes, and you can catch me, just said b W j U s T s y D b W.

Hit us up on Twitter on Twitter to like at us, like, ask us questions, slid in our dy be more proactive people, Okay, send us Venmo Venmo money Veno, it's more molly sliding my Venmo games like ten dollars next time.

Send all your money to these funny and beautiful.

Town and make sure you keep coming to see us live. It's it's looking like it's gonna be the third Sunday of every month.

Yes, at the Tank.

At the Tank in New York City, three twelve West thirty sixth Street. Guys, Sidney, take it away.

In my products, just different ranges of in my projects. Is that that's project path right now?

It's Coco col Cow stupid, Bye guy,